Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Trevor Wallace & Blaustein on Pranking a Kardashian, Being Sued by Whiteclaw & Secret of Going Viral

Episode Date: October 17, 2023

Yerrr, Akaash had Trevor Wallace and Michael Blaustein AKA the Stiff Socks Pod on to discuss their love of Amsterdam's districts, Trevor Wallace's beef with Whiteclaw, Michael Blaustein pranking a Kardashian & we reveal the meanest prank Akaash has EVER pulled off. INDULGE 00:00 Intro 01:05 Smashing the guests 03:48 Single Blau is an animal 05:18 Blau got GOT in Amsterdam 17:33 Blau’s inconsistent libido + new strange 18:57 Jada Pinkett-Smith is a baddie + Will Smith is broken 26:51 Hustling hard + Punk’d prank w/ Khloe Kardashian 33:43 Ashton Kutcher is HARSH but we respect it 37:40 Trevor spotting the wave + White Claws success 44:47 Starting at All Def Digital 46:32 Trevor’s business sense + KevOnStage is brilliant 55:45 Trevor getting punched + Karen response 58:40 The time Akaash punk’d Blau 01:20:26 Getting lit + d-game is still trash 01:26:00 Our Moms are STACKED 01:26:46 Blau LOVES feet + sometimes they’re too heavy 01:31:15 Trevor’s mom’s his type + Blau brings passion 01:44:00 “Hiring” security + getting confronted on stage 01:59:59 Hannah Berner sends her regards + we love our Moms 02:05:05 Eskimo bros with Johnny Sins + Blau LOVES his mom 02:18:40 Little separation on stage & Creativity + RIP OG Four Loco 02:25:52 Blau's VIRAL “How to Kiss” VIDEO 02:30:01 Bobby Lee’s D, going down + NYC vs LA women 02:40:21 Blau was POOR, but now just cheap 02:49:49 $1 tipping is INSANE 02:53:00 NYC tipping begrudgingly

This is maybe the meanest thing I've done, but this is crazy. We have it on tape. No you don't Yeah, yeah, yeah after this we'll decide if we're gonna leave it in After this, we'll decide if we're going to leave it in. What's up, guys? Welcome to Flagrant. Andrew is not here. He is in Europe right now. I am here with YouTube stars in his stead.

One guy you've been seeing for years. Another guy who's a brother of mine who's blowing the fuck up so quickly. Guys, give it up for Trevor Wallace and Michael Blaustein. Yes. Give it up for them. Thanks for having me. But I got my ankles out to pay tribute to Schultz out here. So I'll get a bus and I'll get him out. You got to let everything off. Let the cab down. That's a thumbnail right there. We love you to Schultz out here, so I'll get a bus and I'll get a bus. You gotta let everything off. Let the cab down.

That's a thumbnail right there. We love you Schultz, we miss you. Cabs out and you're on it. Dude, you got pretty nice cabs. I've never seen them before. I mean, I have seen them, but I never really take a hard gander. I used to race a scooter growing up. You got a lot of bites there, bed bugs?

Bites? Oh yeah, I was in PetEat. Yeah. First, I want to make sure we plug Stiff Socks, the podcast you guys do together. It's very fun. Huge Patreon. Y'all are killing it. You guys talk to a lot of porn stars. I know a lot of people are probably wondering why do we do that?

The views! Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're actually great. I was teasing, but what people do really want to know is y'all are single. Yeah. Is that what you're asking i did it last night no uh not any point we ever had on the show yeah me neither oh shit other porn you got chemistry with some of them bro i so do you i will say this we have had sex with each

other independent we have independently but never anyone that's been on the show that's what happened no i don't believe that at all that's good that's crazy no they literally come on the show like i know you want them to keep coming on well that's fine i'm a married man and i would say that instead of no i would want to fuck me but i was they wanted to i would absolutely yeah so it's like plug talk, but you just lie about the stuff. Yeah, it's the opposite. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no, no. It's like plug talk. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We plug and fly. That's it.

Look, here's the thing. They think we do, but a lot of it is like their friends will DM us. Like, oh, we saw you on so-and-so on. I want to go on. And then it kind of like starts a conversation. And they're like, oh, well, what are you up to? So it's like they're friends of the friends, but never any of the girls that are on the show. We're getting farm league.

But you have farm league. Yes. Farm league. Ask me. Yes, it's good fuck crazy good crazy mouth game insane lebron mouth like the golf ball dude she literally takes my seat and goes it's crazy it's insane dude i said this on the podcast last time this this literally started the first thing we kissed for three seconds and then she started she put her back on the bed and leaned over.

Like a rainbow. Like that. We started. He doesn't know what's happening right now. I know. I got it. That's crazy. That's crazy.

Where do you go? I don't know where he's going. What I'm saying is to start there is crazy. How did you end? Just like hugging or something? You got to go backwards. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She made me a sandwich. I saw or something? You got to go backwards. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She made me a sandwich.

You got to have a nice omelette on that bitch. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, dude. It was, yeah, that's the, it was fun. It was fun.

To answer your question, we've never had anyone that's been on the show. It's fine. Let them go. No, it's cool because they want to like show you what they do

and they see us as like, let me say, you ever see somebody on stage bombing, you know, I can't wait to go up there and show this crowd what it is.

I think those girls see that as us. They're like, we're bombing in bed. Me, maybe, I don't know, he fucks, but like, this girl's like, let me say, you ever see somebody on stage bombing, you know, I can't wait to go up there and show this crowd what it is? I think those girls see that as us. They're like, we're bombing in bed. Me, maybe. I don't know. He fucks. But like, this girl's like, I can't wait to make, blow this guy's brain. So she does like half what she does on the screen, and I'm like, ooh. It like, loses it. Yeah. Crazy. So this is, it's incredible. Yeah, it's phenomenal. You guys are never gonna get

in a relationship again. No. I'm out. There's no way. No, no, no. I say shit on this podcast, like, there's no way. There's no way. I've seen Blau in a relationship, and No. I'm out. There's no way. No, no, no. I say shit on this podcast. There's no way. There's no way. I've seen Blau in a relationship and I've seen Blau sing it. Crazy.

Oh, I'm going to hear that. I'm going to hear the 180s. That's crazy. I want to hear that. He's making vegan crickets with his girl. I was like, you were fucking in a dump truck

a week ago. You were fucking in a dump truck. I never, so Blau and I, for those of you who don't know, Blau came up at the Village Lantern with us and I think it's cool because like me, Schultz, you all came up

and our crowd work clips are what people notice. Yeah, yeah. I don't know about you, I had people being like, and I see it on Schultz's thing too, oh, you must plant people in the audience. And it's like, no, you guys don't know. We came up in hell. Hell.

We just had to get really good at crowd work. That's all we could do. So it's so fucking cool. I love this, but I've known you since like 09. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I remember a story about blau and this i was just like this is the horniest man i've ever met he met a girl at a show and then he talked to me the next day on the phones before everybody had iphones and was texting

and he was like man i just uh i'm really fucking my dick hurts and i was like i was like what what do you mean he was like what day of the week is it this is uh this was a friday this is a friday but we had shows at the village lantern every day so he was like i was like, what day of the week is it? This is a, this is a Friday. This is a Friday, but we had shows at the Village Lantern every day. So he was like, I was like, what happened? He was like,

dude, that girl from the show, I fucked her twice last night and then I fucked her again in the morning and I had an audition and I came back and fucked her again

and then I just beat my dick in the shower. God damn. Oh, I can top that. So even back then he was fucking girls at the show.

I can top that. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. He was fucking like he was famous for a long time. How did you go to an audition after coming twice? I'd walk in and be like, I don't give a shit about this role. Fucking give it to the next guy.

Dude, it was like a Kraft singles commercial. Who gives a shit? Slit your name, bitch. Shut up and leave. Can I tell you an Amsterdam story? Yeah, of course. So we went out there. We did the red light district.

We dabbled, right? I didn't dabble. All right, I did it. I didn't dabble. All right, I did it. I didn't dabble shit. The red lights were green that night. It's a go. You double. No, he gets duped on one.

He gets duped finesse. He comes back to the bar. Duped on a hooker or what? It was. I need a little more context. What was he trying to do? He got that pyramid scheme hooks. She came in with $200 and was like

no no go go she came in and was like it's $200 and then he goes okay and then he goes alright what about this and he goes

okay it's $300 and then another just give me details dude let's not these are whores you lead it so I'll do this and you jump in with the story

and this is a hooker that Trevor's being a hooker to be clear say again you're talking about sex workers right yeah yeah we went to Amsterdam

red light it's not like Qdoba, employees. But you did drugs out there. He's still trying to figure out, wait. How did the air get to her? It's okay. It's all right. No, because they did drugs

out there, too, a lot. They put that on the pod. So I want to distinguish everybody who saw saw that clip because sometimes we watch our friends clips and sometimes we don't okay okay okay so this is not about you guys buying shrooms and doing them on the pod this is about sex work this is about sex workers so obviously m-stream has a red light district we had to we had to dabble so we went uh i found literally one of the hottest one i ever seen because when i went i was went, I was like, they're going to be average. They're not. Hot, yeah.

Dog tents. Like tents. They look like they're airbrushed, and they're not. They're so fucking unbelievably hot. So I was going to say, found one, whatever. I found one, opened it up, and I was like, I found one. And I was like, how much? She was $100.

And I was like, the fuck? I'll give it, yeah. This you'll spend money on. Oh, yeah. So I get in there, blah, blah, blah. She was $100 and I was like the fuck I'll give you still spend money on oh So I get in there blah blah blah Swipe my card and then we get on the bed And then she puts a condom on and then puts like a paper towel with a hole in it a big hole around my dick Take a big pattern It was a big one and then she put put it over right and then literally bro

So I'm sitting on the thing, the most apathetic hand job ever, right? So she's leaning forward and just goes like this. Judges jerk off. No eye contact, nothing, right? So I don't know if you guys know this. I can't get hard at all, right? So then she looks at me.

She goes, do you want me to give you head? And I was like, oh, yeah, yeah. Then she goes, $100. And I go, I already paid. It's like Spirit Airlines. You know, we're adding on, we're adding on. You pay for the seat. Now let me beat that meat, 100 bucks.

Okay, so $5,000 later. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we're at $200, right? And in my head, I go, I literally thought of you. Hey-o, dick hard, not hard, actually. I thought of you, and I was like, we're at Amsterdam, right? And in my head, I go, I literally thought of you. Hey, yo, dick hard, not hard, actually. I thought of you, and I was like, we're at Amsterdam. Let me experience this. What am I going to be, a fucking Jew here?

Who cares? Swipe it. He is a Jew for the record. I am a Jew. Blast on. So I. You got his K-card. Chill.

Name it. Come on. We love you. We love you. Hey. so um so i'm like i'm like fuck it let's let's experience this right um and then so whatever it was a thing and then and i still can't get hard right and then she's like do you want to fuck and then i go oh okay cut to the chase bitch like what's do this What's the bottom line Another Another 200 I think And then I And then I

And I I still can't get hard Because she's not Doing anything to a route There's no connection Obviously There's no chemistry Obviously right

She looks hot But that's it What are your goals In Asperation Yeah I mean like literally Let me read your diary Something so

So I can't get hard right And then she just stands up She goes Well I mean you can't get hard, right? And then she just stands up. She goes, well, I mean, you can't get hard, so. Oh, wow. It's over, bitch. She goes, time's up. She goes, time's up.

She goes, you get 20 minutes in here. She goes, it's 19 minutes. You got one minute left. There's nothing we can really do in a minute, right? Yo, she gave you a 19-minute soft edge. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's crazy. Like some ASMR shit, you know?

I think you're forgetting intermittently of that 90 minutes, we're doing money transactions and haggling. So an apathetic handjob and haggling. He's asking for the CBV, you know? Yeah, I mean, literally, my dick is inside of me, right? It's the most unattractive situation I've ever been in. Also, again, I'm stingy, so I'm doing this math in my fucking head. I can't get hard on what I'm doing. Is this a tax write-off?

I'm texting my wealth manager. Company cover. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, she goes, yeah. And I go, it hasn't been 19 minutes. She goes, it has. And I go, no, it hasn't. Do you know why?

Because I tell time for a living. I tell time for a living. That's what I said. Oh, you're delusional. I like where you're going, but I... Because of stand-up, you generally always know

about what 20 minutes is, what 45 is, what an hour is. But then, same thing. This girl doesn't speak English. It's like, I tell time. I can feel time. I can feel time.

16 minutes. How long have you been doing this? We have been recording 1445. Not bad. That's not bad. That's not bad. It would still be hard if we were jerking off right now. That's not bad.

And the same time, I told the story too. I looked at Gabe, who's our producer on Sif Socks, and I said the time. And it was like 47 minutes. It was like 47 minutes. He was like, bro, it was like 4615 or some shit. So anyways, so I gave you the time. Bitch, it wasn't. I wish it wasn't just that.

But it wasn't 19 minutes. It was seven or eight minutes. So I just start fuming. I'm like $500 now. We all meet up at the bar together. We got our two producers at the bar waiting because they're loyal men. Pussies are loyal men. Mine was the easiest.

$200, hey, bada bing, bada boop. We're nothing, right? And then I'm at the bar waiting for him. This guy comes in fuming. Dog fuming. You don't mind him when he's mad. I've never seen him this mad. Dog.

I've never seen him this mad. He had the spirit. He was about to fly home. He was livid. I told him, I was like, yo, if there was a ticket presented to me, I would have flown home. Because the thing that Bob loves more than anything is sex. And the thing he hates more than anything is spending money. So he just spent a lot of money,

the thing he hates, to not do the thing he loves. Yeah, and I got bamboozled. The bamboozled thing is the thing that fucking kills me. Hood winked by a hoe. God damn, I was so mad. So I talk him out of this. I go, we got to get you back out there, man. This can't be your one Amsterdam experience. We're leaving in like a day. Let's get you

back out there. It was so fun. It was great. So I i go we got to get you that too right this is where we all come back full circle to what you were talking about he goes finds a nice lady they get an attraction they're talking oh zodiac signs capricorn they hit it off right and they do that but then he tells me the next morning after he did the fornication, he went home and still beat his meat. Yeah. Yeah. Had to get it out. Yeah.

I'm sorry. No response on that? He's 39. That's crazy. Beat the meat. But like think about that. Got blue balled. Finally got one off.

And then goes back home and goes, if anybody's fucking jerking me, it's me. I think that's kind of what it is. Because fucking is fun. But like I know how to pledge myself the best. Oh, you got a problem. Yeah. He's a sex addict. Yo, this is crazy.

But I'm a controlled sex addict. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Like, here's—no, this is what I'm saying. When Blau's in a relationship, he is faithful. He's, like, working on communication, all the gay things I work on all the time. Yeah. Blau does that in a relationship, and then when he's sick—

That girlfriend vaginas aren't destroyed. Sure. yeah i'll put bowling pins in there and shit but you know beating off is that's still very faithful when you're in a relationship that's what he's doing yeah but a fucking switch flips on and off in a single and in a relationship i've never seen anything like it quick question with the first chick is it like when you go to a bar and she's like you want to keep the tab open like how is she upping up the transaction does she stop jerking your shit off and be like i'll tell you what it is it's it's the game i think i'm pretty sure they all play where it's like once i get a man hard he will do anything so once once you weren't even hard i wasn't but like in my you were mentally hard yeah so so that's what it was like

She gets you hard and she goes or do you want this and you go? Yeah So when you say yeah, does she take out the machine and be like, all right Apple pay? Yes. Yeah Yeah So I going through and yeah, it's just not working out. Yeah and also we're It was crazy Cuz yeah, cuz to Trev's point like if you spend $200 at a spa in Amsterdam it's going through the credit card machine

the Chase is not going to allow you to do another 100 fucking 10 minutes late so it gets fraud so I'm answering text messages from Chase yeah it's all good I'm trying to get blown it's like dude everything is the most unhot thing in the world

customer service I'm trying to get blown. It's like, dude, everything is the most unhot thing in the world. He's yelling in the corner, customer service. Customer service. I'm about to nut. Yeah, why don't you just go with like a high class, spend a little money. It's done, dude. It's business. What do you mean? Like, I'm sure there's high class hookers in Amsterdam.

It's like, it's $1,000 for the night, and then you just have hope. We didn't know. And I'm telling you, I know what you're picturing. Like, can I be honest? I've been to the red light district and they're fucking skeeved me out, dude. Yeah, it's not. It was disgusting. It's not awesome.

It was a disgusting thing. It's like, and then the guys have the creepiest fucking looks when they're going in. It's just like, oh, God, dude, this is all gross. Dude, the funniest thing ever is when I. Fine, but like just pay and have it in a private thing. When I came out of the second one, I was all nutted. I got nut out and the woman was nice. And then the moment

I come out, there was a fucking fan from the podcast being like, blah, the moment. Oh, bro. You feel horrible, dude.

Like, you don't feel great coming out of there, you know what I mean? Well, there's no leeway. It's straight into the mix. There's just hundreds of people. It's like a parade of horniness

and you're like, how do I, is there a back entrance? And you're like YouTube superstar. I'm wearing there a back entrance? And you're like YouTube superstar. I'm wearing their hat, hood on. I'm looking low. I'm on my phone being like, where's the taxi? Is this for Lyft?

And then I just sneak on in. You got a phone charger? All right, here's Cash App. But that was a funny thing. It's like Amsterdam, he was getting recognized obviously more than me. But we were all getting recognized. And then we went to Ibiza or Biza, whatever the fuck. And we're like, all right, hell yeah, this is like host central. Yeah, zero people.

Didn't give a shit. Knew who we were, zero. Like, I'm talking about, like, they wouldn't even look at us. It was such a fucking disparity between two places. They didn't give a fuck. It was hilarious. We got a boat. Yeah.

He was so nice. He rented the company a boat. That's great. No hoes. One guy, the whole time we were there, three days ago, he goes, yo, you seem short. And I go, oh, I'm fucking out of here right now. Damn, you got a yacht with no hose on it.

Dude, sad, bro. And here's the funny thing. Yacht with no hose is a crazy expense. We had a yacht, no hose, and there was a boat. It was this big-ass boat. It wasn't even a nice boat. Chock full of hose. The most hose I've ever seen on one fucking boat in my life.

Per capita. Zero wanted to get on a boat. No one wanted to get on a boat. Oh, my God. Zero. They look like the picture of the Giants where they had Timbs and shit like that. It's like, yo, we fly on this boat with no hoes. You know what's funny is we were just finding it.

We're like, you know, man, that's what we needed. Just a trip with the boys. Nobody is more reflective on their own life than a guy with no hoes. I mean, we wish we needed just the boys outing, you know? We didn't even want women. They're just going to get in the way.

Do what? They're going to give his head. Who cares? We don't need that. We just need hoes. We just need us and cheesecakes. But yeah,

jerked off after Red Light District. That's crazy. Jerked off, again, had sex four times with a girl within 12 hours or whatever. And then later that night, he was like, I need a fifth.

But do you see five nuts in a calendar day is crazy. Guys, tour dates. I'm going to be in Atlanta October 27th through 29th. Hurry up and buy your tickets because they're going fast. December 1st and 2nd, I'm going to be in Portland, begrudgingly, against my will. I hate that city, but I have a feeling they have great comedy fans because you're probably tired of living there with them Antifa idiots. So tickets available on my website for that. Also, December 8th, New Orleans is one of my favorite cities I've ever been to. I'm excited to go back and perform comedy. And UK,

I got to announce these dates because tickets are almost sold out. Glasgow, December 17th, London, December 18th, and Manchester, December 19th. Also, last announcement, I promise, January 18th through 20th, DC Improv. Hurry up and buy your tickets for those shows and more at akashsingh.com. Now let's get back to the show. Is Gil Beedle still that hot? It's pretty hot.

It depends on, like, it's very situational. Like, if I'm in a relationship, nah. I mean, do you guys know what I mean? we don't no we don't we have no idea what you mean we fuck it all the time right i can't i know i've been harassing the fuck out yeah yeah i love it dude i love it yeah but you guys says at least huh she gives me one and a half at least all right you know what i mean have He wanted a half a week average age. Have you ever seen those sitcoms

in like the 90s or whatever? Married to Children where Al just never wants to have sex with his wife. Well, actually, I'm thinking like

the inverse actually when the dude's always trying and the woman's like, he won't leave me alone. I think it's just, I think it's always so funny. Well, I mean,

you're going really against his point of mind, but like, but like the, that's never the, like the girl's like, okay, you want it? It's like, dude, it's just, you have, really against his point of mind, but like, but like the, the, that's never the, like the girl's like, okay, you want it? It's like, dude, it's the, you have, do you have the same, you have the same pussy, right? That I've been fucking for three years.

Then I'm good. I'm good. It sounds mean, but like, I'm good. That's what you need the new, new. That's why I'm a maniac when I'm single. Cause it's all new. Hey, future bloud girls. This is what you got to look forward to.

Yeah. You need that. You're the only person to look forward to. Yeah, you need that. You're the only person I would suggest a Will Jada situation. Yes. You need a Jada who doesn't really love you and is like, oh, do whatever you want to do, and I just want to capitalize and be famous next to you. That would be perfect. That's perfect. That's exactly what you need.

Speaking of Jada real quick, I'm going to pitch my idea to see what you guys think about this. But Jada was – I sat next to Jada on the flight here. This one? This one? Yeah. But Jada was, I sat next to Jada on the flight here. This one? Bad. This one? Yeah. How many dudes was she with? We had the individual pods.

First class ho. What's up, dude? Yeah, she was the pod next to me. Did you say anything? What am I going to say? Let me see the pussy? I mean, I don't know.

We respect it. You could probably. She's, I don't know if you guys ever seen her in person, dude. She's so hot. I've seen her before. She is stunning. She looks better in person than she does on TV. You can tell she's a beautiful woman.

You can also tell she's a succubus who probably sucks the soul out of people to look better. You know what I mean? These are things that you can just tell by looking at the side. It seems like you like soul suckers, right? I think you need that. Yeah. I mean, you're going to fall apart if anything.

Well, dude, she took Will Smith. You remember what Will Smith was when we were children? Yeah. He was a fucking, he was a superhero. Fuck the movies. He was a superhero. And now he's a broken,

he looks like a homeless person that I wouldn't give a dollar to. Damn. I mean, he- Not because I just don't give money to him. I saw his last post. He's just sitting on a boat and he looks so sad.

I mean, of course he does. The wife resents his success. I didn't see the post. What is it? You know, I needed some guy time. It was good to reflect. That's what you need sometimes. What do you do if you're Will Smith right now?

What is the play? What's the movie? You just coast off? You have to fuck someone very publicly. Like someone bad. Like Margot Robbie again. She's married, so that would be disrespectful. But somebody that level of hot. And then just, we're going to be public this time. I'm not doing this shit no more.

He just needs a banger of a movie. Just like music. If he puts out a movie that's a banger, he's back. I think he needs a fucking dude. I think he just needs to switch it all up. Why not? I've heard there's rumors about him. Yeah, we'll just come out.

Yeah. I feel like everybody has that certain level of fame. There's rumors. Yeah, Rel Battle. Shout out to Rel, a friend of ours. He would be like, if you ever hear I'm gay, be happy for me. That means I made it. That's so funny.

He was like, that's it. That's the fucking compliment you could, the greatest compliment you could get. Well, what do we think it is? Do we think it's like just tired of, this sounds so crude, but bear with me. Do we think we're, is, because you get it so often, you're tired of it? Or do you think you have those feelings even when you were a kid, you just can't act on it? We're not you, bro. We're not fucking that much.

Oh, no. The theory, yeah. I'm saying, like, when you get famous, like you're Will Smith, bro. Act on it. We're not fucking that much, bro. Oh, no. The theory, yeah. I'm saying, like, when you get famous, you're Will Smith, right? Yeah. The theory some people have is you get so much pussy, you're like, let me try something different. I can't imagine that. James Hanna, rest in peace, very funny comic. He had a joke that he was like, hey, can somebody just let me know what that number is so I can stop two before that?

I'm good at certain points. The odometer? Yeah, yeah. The odometer? I think I might be headed there. Here's the thing, man. I'm getting. I see it.

Can I tell you I hate your hair so much? Oh, no. This is my first time seeing it in person. This is my first time seeing it in person. And I truly hate it. Yeah. Like, I really hate it. I gotta be honest, dude.

That's a new thing with comics. I have a bad hair now. You got Schultz, you got this guy. They're just battling for it. You're going to be selling out arenas soon. Yeah, I feel good. I'm fine with it. Anyway, so I'm a cuck is what I'm trying to get to. Why the hair? I honestly, there's no, I wish I had some

cool reason like, oh, I got fingered in Amsterdam and I just changed me or whatever. I don't have a cool story. I just wanted to do something different. That's fair enough. And then I liked it. You want to do something different on the topic that we were just talking about. You want to do something different. What's his name? But that's what I'm saying. The whole like

cuck thing is not appealing to me. I think I don't want to watch a cuck hole through hockey through the rink, like the glass. I don't want it to be like a sporting event. That does like you know they have hockey through the rink like the glass like i don't want to be like a sporty man you know that does sound fun got a coors light i'm just watching go honey yeah oh like oh like i don't i hate that really i just don't i don't come on what don't do the bit right now just be honest that that's kind of weird what not it's not my it's not my cup of tea yeah so here's the thing i'd rather be the guy

fucking oh i know i can i've talked about before i'm very Yeah. So here's the thing. I don't know if it's the guy fucking. Oh, I know. I've talked about it before. I'm very open with this. So the thing that actually intrigued me about it is I like, if I'm hooking up with a girl, I like when she sends me a video of her fucking or getting fucked by like her ex or getting fucked by whatever, like another man. Are you that addicted to porn? I don't know. I'm addicted. I wouldn't say I'm addicted. I just like another man. Are you that addicted to porn? I don't know.

I'm addicted. I wouldn't say I'm addicted. I just like different stuff. I get bored of porn. It's just the same old, same old. So that's like the- Home movies are more exciting. It's a more interactive.

And the thing is like, I always watch the POV stuff, obviously, because I like to put, I'm like, oh, I'm that guy. I'm that guy, right? Yeah. So with that movie, then I can actually have sex.

That's why there's no race in the cuck stuff. Yeah. People will be able to relate. Gotcha. That makes sense. I got you now. Now I get it. I'm with you now.

That all makes sense now. So whatever. So those videos that they send, I can put myself in the video because I have had sex with the girl. So I can put myself in the video. So I know that's not a full cuck thing, but I'm very turned on by that. So I think I might be dipping my toe in it is what I'm saying. I haven't – I've never experienced, but there's an intuition that I have that I might be into it. There's something hot by being like your girl comes back and her makeup's running and I go, yo, what happened?

That wasn't me. Somebody else did that. But that was me in the long run because now if I'm doing that and she's not having those similar effects, I'm in my head. If I'm beating it up and it's not the same. Yeah. similar effects, I'm in my head. If I beat it up and it's not the same... There is a certain confidence it takes in your dick game

to be like, somebody else can fuck you and I'll just watch and be fine with it. I think it's that, but also I think it's a hot proposition. Are you... I think you fuck too much. You're getting to that point. If we're tying it all back to the beginning.

But you're the one fucking. So this doesn't appeal to you at all zero i mean like less all right but i'm i'm curious though like how far away from the fucking are you like are you right up close valid question play for where are you in the studio seats or you're in the rafters that's what i'm saying so i don't know free throw line three point line No charge This is a great question I don't know if I want to Be in the room So I don't know

So I don't know exactly What this distinction would be He's just a director Watching on the monitors And shit No but like He's like action Cut

I mean You guys fuck I'll be in video village Yeah I just I don't know if I want to be You guys fuck, I'll be in video village. Yeah, I don't know if I want to be in the action, but the idea of her coming back after getting fucked and we talk about it and that arousing me to want to fuck her again, that's super hot to me. And maybe that means that that's hot to me, but also in my

brain, that means that I can do the same thing. So maybe that's another... Because it lets you cheat? Correct. So that might be another ingredient in the soup as well. This is fascinating. See, if I was that guy, I'd come back, I'd mess up my own hair. I've known this guy 15 years. I've never known him less than I know him right now. This is new.

This is new. Yeah. This is like a last year. I'm processing this. Oh, so then it does actually grow. I think it does, yeah. So then you're on your way to- That's what I'm saying. I said this six minutes ago. Maybe. Hey, man.

You're going to be a Scientologist in three months. If I can sell the O2 Arena, great. Yeah. Fair enough. They did great door deals there. Dude, what? Good. I was going to talk to you because you mentioned selling out. Blau and there. Dude, what? Go ahead. I was going to talk to you because you mentioned selling out.

Blau and I, again, not selling out venues. Blau and I, Blau's blown up so much in the past three years, and it's so fucking cool. And I don't know. There's something I wanted to give you your flowers on. I don't know if people know how hard you hustled when you didn't have money. There's a story. I think we told it on Patreon years ago. I don't know if you remember.

Blau couldn't get booked. I was in a similar position. I couldn't have money. Like there's a story. I think we told it on Patreon years ago. I don't know if you remember. Blau couldn't get booked. I was in a similar position. I couldn't get booked. But what Blau did was he would email comedy clubs, pretend to be an agent. What was his name? Chris. Chris McCormick.

Chris McCormick. Oh, I broke that man. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he would send it to comedy clubs across the country. And then some of them would book. He'd send on behalf of Michael Blaustein with a reel and everything. And then sometimes he'd get booked.

And then that's just what it is. Like, this guy has fucking hustled, man. That's like Soul Boyz 2 with LimeWire. He used to change it to Taylor Swift, and then it would just be cranked at. You download it, but what the fuck is this? Oh, what is this? And so it's very cool, just again, as a brother, to watch you in what feels like the past six months. It just went crazy.

Yeah, probably six months, yeah. So it's very cool to watch, and I just want to give you six months it just went crazy six months yeah so it's very cool to watch and i just want to give you love publicly on that thank you man yeah it's uh he kind of sent me a blast patreon just sort of talk about like where i was like when i first got to like new york and then where we're at now it's a really it's a it's a wild it's a wild trend well i knew that blau we thought was gonna take the fuck off in like 2010 or something because he was on Punk'd. Yeah.

We actually have one of your videos that we could pull up. Do you really? Yeah, it's you punking Khloe Kardashian. Holy shit. With Miley Cyrus as the host. And Andrew Santino's on it. We could pull this up and play it. Holy shit.

Is that Fat Khloe or Skinny Khloe? Which one? I can't answer. It's just bigger Khloe. It's bigger. But she's actually, if you watch it, we'll watch. But she's actually like so fucking likable through this thing. She's really being sweet. Just watch. That's bigger Chloe. It's bigger Chloe. But she's actually, if you watch it, we'll watch. But she's actually like so fucking likable

through this thing. She's really being sweet. Just watch. That's young. Wow, dude. Look how young he is. So you go to Miley's house, ask if you can use the bathroom

as a delivery boy. As a delivery. And then he's just screaming. Now, can we pause real quick? Shut up. So this, is there any backstory

that we need to know? Any like cool info about this? How do they tell you what you're going to do? When do you find out? What's that whole process like? Dude, this show is actually crazy, man, because you find out so last minute because you're not – I'm not writing on it. Yeah.

So I'm just kicking it, and you get like an email or a phone call, and they go, meet me at the studio. And you have to like just sort of be on call, and you meet there, and then they just what it is and when you got there miley's the host she's pranking people yeah yeah punking people yeah is she in there in the studio like is she involved in all of it um i mean like vaguely it's a lot of like what it's a lot of the writers doing it yeah you know um but it's a it's a very like go go go type thing because every like these people are hyper famous, obviously. So their schedules are so insane. So when they lock things, you have to go. Yeah. So it's a very like there's no time to think sort of.

And they like told me what the bit was sort of like on the way to the house. Like it's a it was it's. And then the thing that really fucked me up the most in this show is the go, go, go. But also the earpiece so there's an earpiece there's a director talking to you there's a produ an ep talking to you and some of the actors like santino helped write a lot of these he's so funny and shout out to sandra santino yeah dude so funny and a lot of this he's like he's also in video village talking to me so there's like three people walking me through stuff and they might throw me some lines

and i have to decide if i want to say the lines in my head or the line that they're saying. Oh, wow. There's a lot of things that are happening. And then you also... You're also just trying to play it cool. Yes. You don't have an earpiece in there.

Correct. Yeah, exactly. You also have to like... And the earpiece, it's got to be super subtle, right? It's super subtle. Can we play out and see how the rest is? Al, you haven't seen this, right? No, I haven't.

This is great. So the prank is he has his nut caught in the zipper, right? Yeah. It's like sticking out. This ball is caught in the fucking zipper. It's an art ball, so it looks real. So here's Chloe. She's like really talking to it.

She's like being very sweet and helpful. Everything is going to pop. Any kind of seminal fluid coming out of the genitals? What's so cute is she's like, is there any fluid coming out? Like, she's like being really helpful. What color is the genital right now? I mean, it looks a little red. Are we talking like salmon pink?

Does it look salmon pink in color, miss? I've never seen a white penis before. I don't know. I've never seen a white penis before. So sincere. Yeah, she was super nice, dude. Dude, that made sense. She's so likable in that clip. Yeah, yeah, super nice to me. Dude, that made sense. She's so likable in that clip. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

She's like genuinely concerned about your testicle. Whereas I think a lot of girls would be like, I don't, buddy, deal with that. Oh, it ran away. Yeah. I think my wife would be like, you got that, you fucking weirdo. You got Kaiser called Uber figured out. 100%. She's always with the coolest Kardashians. That's actually so sweet.

Did you talk to her after? Do you have any interaction? Did she say anything to you? Good job. Let always been the coolest Kardashian. That's actually so sweet. Did you talk to her after? Do you have any interaction? Did she say anything to you? Good job. Let me see the real nuts. I think they all kind of like shuffled off pretty fast. Like once they're like, hey, it's punk. They don't really care about me.

Right. It's her and Miley and Kelly Osbourne. Yeah, yeah. So they're all like homies and they're not going to be like, hey, do you want to come out? But they didn't really talk to me. Did you get to work with Miley a lot? She's, again, the head of the episode. Three of the, yeah, because everyone hosts one episode, and then they have three punks within one episode.

So I think that was the only one I worked with Miley. But Miley's cool as shit. Really? So nice, dude. Oh, that's great, dude. So nice. And her husband at the time, hot. Oh, the Hemsworth.

Boy. It's the hottest family in the world. I think it might be. She was with a Hemsworth. She was, the Hemsworth. Boy. It's the hottest family in the world. I think it might be. She was with a Hemsworth? She was with a Hemsworth. I don't remember which one. Not the Chris. Not Chris.

No, no. Both of them are pretty. Yeah. Who was Chris with? Because what a lucky lady. Somebody deserving, I hope, much like his hammer. You're getting there quick. You know what's so funny

about this? If you were just how hot I was and then you were going to show me. Of course. For three seconds you were like,

this is the hottest film I've ever seen Nah, he's a piece but you're dead. Oh man. That's what we do. That is what we do. I remember going out

to that and then so I did Wiling Out and I was telling him how stressed because Wiling Out is similar stress. You find out the night before who the guest is. You don't know what the fucking game is out to that. And then, so I did Wiling Out. And I was telling him how, because Wiling Out is similar stress. You find out the night before who the guest is. You don't know what the fucking game is going to be.

There's like a bootcamp for two weeks where they just drill you to death. And then I was telling that to Blau and he was like, thank God, somebody finally understands what punked was like. Because I was, we're broke as fuck. So we're thinking Blau's on punk. This is crazy.

It's about to take the fuck off. And then he was just like, yeah, it was cool, but it wasn't the most fun. Dog, it was not. There was moments of fun for sure, but it was just so, it was so stressful. And it's a very,

it's like operated. I mean, I've never done SNL, so I don't really know, but it operates very much like that where it's like, you're not guaranteed episodes. Yeah. So like,

they'll just call you or they won't. And then, so you just, I'm just in LA for, there might be, I mean, You're not guaranteed episodes. Yeah. So like they'll just call you or they won't. And then so you just, I'm just in LA for, there might be, I mean, there was a time where like two weeks straight, I didn't hear from them. So I'm just in LA, broke as shit, supposedly on a show. Yeah. But I haven't done an episode in two weeks. Wow. So it's a mind fuck.

And the funniest thing, I think I told you this, Tre Trev the funniest thing was I had like screen tests so I had to come into LA and then they were doing a bunch of like improv games with me blah blah blah and I was in

the creator's office and then Ashton comes in and he opens the door and he goes oh so you're the kid

huh and I was like yeah and he goes saw your audition tape, man. Wasn't good. God damn. And then just leaves.

That was too mean for life. And then just leaves. Maybe you weren't 15 years old enough to make out with him. Yeah, so I'm happy he wrote that fucking letter. Was he cooler after or was it just that? He was a little. here's the thing he was he was actually super cool and he was so honest which i thought which i like yeah like there was we at the rap party we talked a few times he's very cool but at the rap party and this is where the honesty comes

in i walk up to him like hey man what's up how are you and he looked at me he goes do you really care and i go damn and i go no not really he goes okay i just walked away i know that sounds like he's an asshole like an asshole thing to do but for some reason i'm like i kind of like that it's very new york yeah because i because i i honestly don't care. Where's your wife? Oh, man. That's good. Wow. He's a dick.

So how did that help? But kind of like Seinfeld-ish. It's like, oh, you understand it, but it's still like you didn't have to go meet this guy and be like, oh, yeah, your audition tape sucked and just leave. It was unnecessary. I do. I've told some people this and they all sort of say the same thing. Like they were like playing, they were playing mind games.

Like I think it was a very like mind game-y thing to do. I always hate that. Me too. Wild N' Out would do that shit and it's like for what? Me too. What do they do?

Well, they would just be, they would tell you it's like a two week boot camp and I'm going to do top to bottom the cast of Wild N' Out I'll always say this most talented group of people I've ever seen in my life, but they'll be like,

okay, write a song on this. And I don't, I didn't grow up writing fucking songs, rapping, whatever, but then they'll tell you this determines how many episodes you get. And then he'll,

the guy would just say shit. Like, I guess some of y'all are going to be losing episodes. I guess some of y'all. And they just like, hold that thing over your head for two weeks. I, my confidence got worse and worse and worse. And one one thing I did I reached out to the guy like went

to the hotel where all the while and all people were stands like dude like three days before we started filming I was like my confidence has never been lower I don't know what the fuck is going on here and then he like coached me through that a bit but if I didn't take it upon myself to go hey man yeah I this is a big opportunity and I know it and I need help. It's just a constant like we don't give a fuck. You sink or you swim. Yeah. And I think it's like they do that because they need you to be like a strong-minded person because they spend all this money on these things, on these like sketches I mean or punks. And if you break or you fuck up, like if they – whatever, at some point, if some famous person knows you're punking them you just lost the company so much money yeah so you have to like they i think they have to

kind of fuck around with you to see if you can sort of handle it yeah you know because i i'm not gonna trust some kid i just met two days ago with essentially some of these things were like really high production it was like four $400,000, $500,000 on a production of like some wild thing. It's like, bro, we have to know that you can,

that you can like handle a heat or whatever. Sorry, I was gonna, you know, you finished the point. I was just gonna say like, I would have,

I would have handled it differently. I think you can middle, like middle of the road it. Yeah. You know, but I mean, I don't know. That's what I did it.

And this show was, you know, stupid successful. So't know that's what i did it and this show was you know stupid successful so they obviously know what the fuck they're doing trevor when you're doing sketches are you bullying everybody i'm too much of a pussy man i need to all we're gonna speak up like you know that's fine we'll just go with that edit you know maybe you were right you have a creative vision it's very different but that's why i like i got two guys i work with on a day-to-day and it's just tight because it's just boom boom boom no videos are great but there's very few straight to camera there's like a handful of straight to camera people that i think is funny one indian kid named saib singh funny you know uh your sketches are funny and then ryan davis who i think you know

but he'll just talk to the camera and it's like vlog type shit but it's so good with very few edits which is really impressive people want to be talked to a lot thank you so much man yeah because people just want to be talked to yeah you know what's that it's like they just want to be like in there how do you decide what the thing is because you'll have the most random shit and it'll be so funny like the guy who never left his hometown is one of your biggest videos on youtube and it's so funny and i guess that makes some sense but there's some like the kyle guys named kyle yeah yeah that was timing that was timing there are people the guys named k to get a lot of shit, but nobody made a video on it. So I just kind of like saw this, like starting to bubble. I think every like big video is trying to like a

wave. And it's like, if you start like tiger King, I made a video, right. Right. When that kind of hit and I'm not like a trend chaser too much, but the same with the white claw shit, if you get it right before it breaks, you're the first to break it. I mean, sorry to interrupt the white claw thing for people who don't know Trevor. And I remember you telling me about it. I mean, you... Sorry to interrupt. The White Claws thing, for people who don't know, Trevor, and I remember you telling me about this, I knew you through him for years before we met.

Correct. But Trevor, when White Claws was popping, he made a shirt that said there are no laws... There ain't no laws when you're drinking Claws. Ain't no laws

when you're drinking Claws. It sold crazy inventory. It was from the video that you made. And then they sued him. Stupid. Cease and desist. He had to stop selling the shirts

immediately, give back all the money. I made zero... Yeah, they're a piece of shit. But then apparently his profile, I heard you say on another podcast, went crazy after that. Yeah, it was like a catch-22. I don't even know what that means, but I think it was. It was one of those where like, so they saw the video and then they're like, let's talk Wednesday to talk about a potential brand deal, right?

And I go, all right, cool. But the video's booming right now. I'm a business guy. I'm like 25 at this point. I'm just hopped up on Adderall. I'm like, let's get these t-shirts out, right? I had a guy alter the logo slightly,

put it up on sale Monday morning and it sold like 7,000 t-shirts in like 48 hours. Yep, there it is. That's probably out of fucking mall kiosk in West Palm Beach right now. But this is still everywhere. Dude, everywhere.

People have that tattooed on them. Yeah. People have that tattooed. I'd say I've seen at least like 10 as well. So how did you know? And again, this is, I spoke to Gabe asking him things about you and he said trevor is brilliant at knowing when a trend like what's going to be viral he's really good at that i also think i'm sorry to cut you off dude i

also think the other piece of your genius though is to pick things that are so nuanced that i don't think people make videos on right but i think so you can be original still it's a yes it's it's originality but also it's like this thing where like the how do i say it's like you pick a thing that like that seems nuanced but everyone goes oh no i relate to that but it's like such a small thing but everyone still relates it's always the specificity specificity in comedy is always funny if you go like, 100%. It's always the specificity. Specificity in comedy is always funny. If you go like, I was banging a chick at a restaurant. That's whatever you go. I was banging a chick at a Buffalo Wild Wings.

Like, the specificity of it is so funny. And your videos are very specific. Exactly. So, like, I did videos about guys who drive Subarus that could have just been guys who are mountain men, nature guys. But it's like, it's too broad. But you define it. It's like, how is somebody going to tag their friend in this and be like, dude, this is you. Or this is Debra who drives this shit, right? So it's like, it's getting that angle. It's like, how is this? How is somebody going to tag their friend in this? Like, dude, this is you.

Or this is Debra who drives this shit, right? So it's like, it's getting that angle. The white cloud one was random. I made that an hour and a half with my friend, Chad. I was living at home at his apartment. And that was a random one. And then I was literally, I'm just, so how my shit's written half it's riffed. And I was like, what rhymes with claws?

What, fucking take a letter off laws. Yeah. I just said that. And that just hit. And that was all the quotes in the videos. Yeah. I just said that and that just hit and that was all the quotes in the videos. And I can always, that's what I do for my videos.

If I'll do like a five minute video or whatever and then what to post on the one minute, I'll just be like, what are people commenting? Because that's, that's what's the most popular.

So you'll post a five minute. Yes. And then I let the people comment what they fuck with. You know, I'm crowd sourcing essentially. Yeah. And then I'll be like,

okay, cool. These are the top comments. These quotes, these are clearly the funniest because people essentially yeah and then i'm like okay cool these are the top comments these quotes these are clearly the funniest because people uploaded it and then i make that one minute but then everybody's quoting that so i put that t-shirt out and the shirt was like a funny just because the so you made a full video that line happened to be in it what was the full video about it was just guys who drink white claw it was just it was just one thing it was just like guys who drink seltzer or whatever but they were just everywhere it was was like my roommate right before I moved back home for like a month, he was just like this.

One of my best friends, Jason, he's just like a guy, just a golden retriever with a zen in his mouth. But like when he was like my barometer of like what is like trending because he'd be like so pumped on it. He'd be like, I fucking love Spike Ball. I love Hydro Flask. I love White Claw. And I'm just like you are like America as a person. So if he fucks with like, I fucking love Spike Ball. I love Hydro Flask. I love White Claw. And I'm just like, you are like

America as a person. So if he fucks with it, I know it's global. So he was like my barometer on that. So he showed me White Claw. I just made the video, pumped it out, and then it went crazy. And I sold those t-shirts Monday morning to Tuesday. It went crazy. Literally, it had like $100,000 in sales, but it was print-on-demand.

So I hadn't made a dollar yet, but it was racking up, racking up, and then White Claw reached out with their legal team, and they're like, hey, listen, we know that you haven't sent these to the printer yet, so if you return this and you cancel right now, we will talk on Wednesday to talk about a potential brand deal. And then on Wednesday, they go,

we don't think this is going to be a good fit. I got fucking duped. And the most bullshit, which I don't think I've talked about a lot, is they came in. They said, we'll return all the t-shirts. But if you want, we can take all, since you have the emails of everybody who bought a t-shirt, we can send them official White Claw merch. Don't fucking use me as your billboard. Yeah.

And also, they're going to take those emails for marketing, like for all their own demographic shit. I hate them as a company. They're terrible. I was at the airport recently, and two people came up to me that work for White Claw. I was like, can we take a selfie? And I was like, I don't like you guys. Did you say no? I said no. Like, can we take a selfie? And I was like, I don't like you guys. Did you say no? I said no.

I said, I do not like you guys. I said, I do not like you guys. Your company is, I mean, these people were younger. So I think that they weren't around during that part of, because this was like four years ago. Yeah. That part of the company history. But I was like, you're a terrible company. Yeah.

Like you fucked me over and I put you guys so far on the map. Yeah. And also the asking for everybody's email bothered me. That's the icky part. It was that. It was like it's like hey we're gonna take all that we're gonna take your customers and give them just official white claw merch it's like that's not funny nobody wants to wear just a white cloth t-shirt they wanted to wear it because it was a joke on it yeah and they probably wouldn't even send them shit they just wanted the emails that's where i'm grossed out by the but but my ticket sales after that were crazy that's what i really started selling

yeah it was i was doing like one-nighters and then that happened. I had my first weekend in fucking Rochester and it was sold out, Common Air Carlson or whatever. And I was like, oh shit, that video did things. Everybody in his audience has white clothes. He's just like talking about you guys. We'll be like, dude, what is wrong with your audience? We went through like fucking five pallets of this shit. I'm like, cool, give me a cut of that too.

But I will say, it's like that part sucked, but looking at the bright side, it just brought awareness to me. So at the end of the day, I'm happy with it. But for Weigel not to use you as their spokesperson

is crazy dumb. But maybe that's good it didn't. They don't get it. Because then it's like maybe you don't want to be just pigeonholing just that. Yeah, it worked out for you, but they're dumb.

These people don't get it. companies they don't yeah their photos are all like in like black and white like film noir like people drinking i'm like you don't understand your audience your audience like butt chugs it is that like an fsu tailgate like this is not a fucking ketamine of a skateboard you're like doing a fucking black and white yeah i think it worked up talking about it but i do think overall it helped me grow so much so at the end of the day if you still want to sponsor me, hit me up. Did you always have that sense or was that all deaf? Because Alex, you remember All Deaf Digital, huge YouTube channel?

The only white employee they had. I was their Jim Carrey, essentially, from Limit Color, right? Were you brought on as talent or brought on as an editor? I was the social media intern. And then they knew I did stand-up. But it was kind of like, all right. And then slowly over time, it was like, all right, you can have one line in the sketch. Yeah. All right, now you have two.

Oh, oh, shit. All right, let's get this guy in an unscripted thing and see how it is. So it was like a slow, progressive thing. But then they started putting me in a bunch of things. And then I just kind of became like a cast member, but I was on full-time salary doing the social media. Sorry, for those of you who haven't seen All Deaf, it's great. If you ever go to watch Roast Me, that is like,amp. If you're watching from YouTube, you know Roast Me. That is like, watching that live, that is hands down the funniest people I've ever seen in my life.

But yeah, so it was like the best job I think I could have had out of college. Because I was just working with all comedians like Doughboy, who was awesome while now, Kevin on stage, Tahir Moore, Tony Baker. Just all like very, very funny on and off stage. Yeah. Because I was a fan of Kevin on stage and like I saw you before I knew who you were. Yeah. You know, because of those. Kevin said, I texted Kevin about you.

He said, I'm the first guy that probably took Trevor on the road. My first road show I did, we did Tennessee State University and only white guy there for quite some time. But he was so. He took a moment and looked in the middle distance. What was fucked up was we were driving to these gigs and we were driving

through like Kentucky and they see a confederate flag. They don't look at me. I'm like, don't fucking look at me. Those aren't my people, dude. Hey, also stop. I need to say what's up.

That is my uncle. But yeah, he was the first guy to take me on the road and they were doing one-nighters, man. One was in a comic club. One was in a church. I love those guys.

I am so thankful for that. Do you think those guys helped you a lot with your business sense of things? You have a very, very clean business sense. Just, yeah. I mean, it's... Yeah, I think so. Because I would see Kev on stage go do one-nighters on a weekend, do Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and then be in the office Monday morning.

And I'm like, you fucking took a red-eye from Newark, and now you're still at work. And he had two kids. And I would ask him, how do you do this? He goes, I got Sunday, and then be in the office Monday morning. And I'm like, you fucking took a red eye from Newark and now you're in Newark still. Andy had two kids. And I would ask him, how do you do this? He goes, I got two kids and a wife. I got to feed people. I got to keep it going. And just seeing that work ethic and hustle.

And he was still, bro, Kev on stage is the hardest working man I've ever met in my life. He records videos. He's awesome, dude. He's a business genius, I think. Oh my God. When we used to work at Olive's, he would record videos in his car, right?

Just put it on a magnet. And then he would just rant about whatever's going on in the news. Like he was talking about the Jada stuff or something. He would rant on it for five minutes, get in the office, cut it down to 30 seconds, and be up on everything before I'd be even at work. Crazy.

And I mean, the guy's just, and like seeing him in traveling in airports with him back in the day, because I only knew him from work. We'd go to lunch, a few people would be like, oh, Kev, Kev. In the airport, everyone's like, Kev, I'll stay, I'll stay. So it was so everyone's So cool to see and I was that's my mentor and everything like he is a genius and I think to that point

Yes, they definitely show me like the ways I remember the day I put my I quit I was like how much money you have Saved up Kev because he was leaving too and he told me because how much do you have and I told him he's like Oh, bro, fucking leaf. And he told me. He goes, how much do you have? And I told him. And he's like, oh, bro, fucking leave. What are you doing here? Yeah. What were the numbers? He said that he saved up like 60K to leave. And I had 20,000 in the bank.

So I was starting to get a little bit of YouTube money. And I was very, very, very little starting to get paid for stand-up. I was like, I think I had like 20,000. My overhead was 800 bucks. I was living in Santa Monica, three-bedroom apartment. He's got two kids. It's a different thing. Bringing it back to Will and Jada.

Kevin on stage and Mrs. Kevin on stage, who I've never met in person, but watching them, that's what I wish Will and Jada was. Where like their book is called Marriage Be Hard. They met when they were both 15. Met when they were 15. Still seem very in love,

but never front and act like they're perfect. Yeah. What happened? Did I miss something? When they were 15. So hot. He's hooking you up with UFC tickets if you're lucky. Okay.

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All right, guys. We're going to take a break real quick because I got to let you know about Vessi shoes. Let me tell you something. I swear to God, I have them on right now. I had to come back the day after we recorded to do these ads, and it was raining, and I was walking. So I put on my Vessies. They are 100% waterproof, and you don't have to buy ugly-ass fucking rain boots. You still get to wear fashionable shoes, and they're 100% waterproof.

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gonna do tonight? Throw them in the washer. I don't think about it. Come out 100% clean and spotless. So if you're like me and you want to be ready for anything rain or shine, head to Bessie.com slash flagrant and get yourself a pair today. And if you use the code flagrant, you will get 15% off your entire purchase. And you get free shipping to Canada, the US, Australia, Japan, Taiwan, Korea, and Singapore. Let's get back to the show. Do you guys want a drink? Oh, this is another thing. Blau, I never did shit when we were get back to the show. Do you guys want a drink? Oh, this is another thing. Blau, I never did shit when we were homies. Oh, yeah. Can we talk about this?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Rogan got me high for the first time. Great first time to smoke weed. Ever, ever. I took a Delta 8 one time, and it wasn't like I was fully high. But then with Rogan, I was like, I've already done Delta 8, so let's just smoke weed. And when he gave me a little pressure, I was like, yeah, I'm not that opposed to it. And I think my main fear was always,

I don't trust my work ethic if I start getting high all the time, especially. But now I'm like, I know I'm gonna bust my ass so I can get high every once in a while. I still don't drink, but if you want to, drunk Blau is the best, dude. Can I tell you a story about drunk Blau? We got drunk after a show he did in his hometown.

Oh, I forgot about this. And then afterward, Blau gets drunk. He's celebrating. It was me, Schultz, and Blau. And Blau, headline, had a fucking ball, whatever. Great show, great audience. And then Blau gets drunk, and then we go to some random fuck diner. And then Blau's drunk, and he keeps standing up from the diner table and going,

Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, I have an announcement. Who is trying to get fingered? What city is this, in D.C.? That's a normal night in D.C. Isn't this the best part? There's a diner. Let's say 100 people. I stand up, and I make them all shut up.

It's 2 in the morning. I go, guys, guys, please, please, everyone, please. I have an announcement. Can you please stop just real quick? Would you have the glass in the night? No, no, no. Essentially, I was like, who Can you please stop just real quick? Would you have the glass in the night? No, no, no. You have to. Essentially, I was like, who's trying to get fingered?

And I did it like twice. Yeah, no, he did it three or four times. Oh. And then one guy tried to fight you. You know guys get jealous when they like go out and shit, and this guy's getting attention. So he, it's so funny because he was such a bitch about it. He was talking shit to Blau and me and another comic who was little and then Andrew's there and then Blau's friend who's a big

country strong motherfucker were there and he was like no you two are cool but these three I got shit the whole time I'm looking the other way but then Blau stands up and he's like yo bro you are so fucking ugly dude Blau's go-to to talk shit to a guy is you're so I wouldn't even finger you dude we almost fought we used to get in almost fights all the time

and that was the first one where I was like this boy drunk is wild oh fuck I forgot about that I've never heard that story you're so fucking ugly bro like it is you're so

that doesn't make him pissed off more it did that's what I was doing on purpose so mad but he also blau's homie you could tell he like loved fight he was like oh yeah i don't want to fight but if we do i'm gonna enjoy beating the fuck out of you because you were talking shit and you defended and i could tell this is like a college dynamic of yes this is literally you learn to walk around with a calf with a fucking child

just walk around with a calf? With a fucking giant? Just walk around with a giant and be fighting. This dude, Matt McCormick, he's my homie. I fucking love him. So I had two, I had three. McCormick? Your agent? Funny. That's probably where I got the name.

Yeah, this dude got the name. But in college, dude, I was the same thing. I'll talk hella shit, but I had like three big friends who loved to fight. There was this one story where we all got in a fight. And when I say all, I mean them. And I was always the dude that waited and then kicked motherfuckers in the head. Like when I was in a fight, yeah, yeah, bye. And I'll be that guy.

NFL Blitz room. A hundred percent. And we were all getting in a fight at this bar and we all got fucking pepper sprayed from security. Dude, have you guys ever been pepper sprayed in the face? No. Al Hatchum was a cop. Dude, we were literally spitting on each other's faces. You probably liked that, though.

And I came. Pull my hair. I came real fast. And I remember we were spitting. Just to get anything out. And one of my buddies, Argo, I love him so much. He was taking the spit and going like this, and he couldn't get it.

He was like, Bo! He's so country. He's like, Bo, what the fuck? I can't believe you motherfucking pussy. With his friend's spit, and then he just takes his head and starts to run it on the cement, dog. He's making, he's drunk as shit. He's pepper spray drunk with my spit in his face,

rubbing his face on the asshole, literally cutting his face, because he's trying to do anything to get it out. And the security guards are just laughing. Look at these idiots. Dude. A bunch of cockroaches with radon. It was sick. Dude, that's so funny.

It hurt so bad. But that was when the guy was like ready to fight, that kid, McCormick, Chris, wasn't it? Matt McCormick. Matt stood up and he was like, hey, man, I don't think we need to do this. And then the guys backed off so hard. They just wanted to pick on people they thought they could beat up.

And the second there was a guy that could clearly kick the shit out of them, they were like, no, it's all good. But it was so funny to see Drunk Blau. I love Drunk Blau. He's my favorite person. Drunk Blau is, I don't know, man. I feel like you and me would have gotten along together really well. Because I got punched in the face by a bouncer.

Because I was the same guy. I'd be mouthy, right? One guy, a bouncer, it was Vine days. This guy goes, hey, can I talk to you outside? I go, oh, you've seen the videos. Oh, you've seen the videos. Oh, you want to be low-key. You want to take a photo out there?

That was, hey, respect, man. Keep it low-key. Keep it low-key. Meanwhile, I'm fucking off Four Cosmos. My eyes are looking like the new Twitter logo. I'm just over here. He pulled me outside. Your Twitter logo's good.

And then, thank you so much. And then, so he, like, new Twitter logo. I'm just over here. He pulled me outside. Your Twitter logo's good. Thank you so much. He pushed me outside, and he goes to slam the door, and I grabbed the door, and then he flinches, and I go, what? This dude is like an old San Jose State linebacker. That's why I went to school. He's a massive dude. He goes, what? I said, what? He flinches, and then he just clocks me right in the eye, And I'm just bleeding. And I'm walking home. And then it gets real white. I call the bar. Nobody answers. And I left probably the longest voicemail in the history.

No, you didn't. I didn't hear the voicemail part. I'm walking home like, you know, fucking, I'm a film major. I just go full. Have you seen Vine? I don't need a 23andMe. I'm 100% white. I'm just doing that. You you seen Vine? I don't need a 23andMe. That is, I'm 100% white. I'm just doing that.

You've seen Vine, yeah. But thank God that bar closed because if they were still open, I'm sure somehow they could get in their source and see if they still have that. But the next day, I was like, oh, I deserve that. I deserve that. I know the story, but I didn't hear the voicemail part. And it was like a 10-minute walk home, so I was just yapping. Do you know what you said leading up to the punch in the face like what got him upset all i so he i got the door and i just said

what and i think what i mean before when he's like yo let's go outside why do you gotta get i think it's probably like why why why no i'm good i'm good i'm not why did you want it oh you're just too drunk and that's why he just saw me like being so he's just trying to get to me he's not trying to kick i mean i was my dick was out and i was peeing on the floor but i don't know what i'm doing i don't know i think was doing. I don't know. I think in my head, I didn't think I was that drunk. That's why I was like, why? Why are we going to slap?

Why are we going to slap? But he's kind of just like bulldozing me a little bit into a corner, and then the door happened. Have you been punched in the face, Akash? No, shockingly not. Really? Really. Shockingly not, no.

Wow. Have you? Of course. Yeah, there you go. For what? That random Tuesday. I used to fight a lot when I was younger. Why? Well, not Yeah, there you go. For what? A random Tuesday. You know what I mean? I used to fight a lot when I was younger.

Why? Well, not a lot. 11 fights. That's a lot. 11? 11 fights? That's what I'm saying. That's a lot.

Oh, I didn't know. For what? Just like I grew up in not the best neighborhood. Just that type of stupid shit. Oh, okay. Yeah. Damn. All right.

Seven and four. Yeah. Yeah. I was winning. Seven and four. That's great. No dad? Yeah. Damn. All right. Seven and four. Yeah. Yeah. I was a winning record. Seven and four. That's great. No dad? Yeah.

Half way. I don't have a dad either. Good time. Good time. Oh, yeah. No, I had to say Jesus Christ. Yeah, no. Yeah, that sounded wild.

No, that's why I said it. I thought that was a random dad. I had daddies. Oh, you're about to get a 12 fight out of him right now. Why am I dad with you? Wait, but you're circumcised? Circumcised? Yeah.

Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, come on. Oh, you're a wee boy. You're a wee boy. See? I said he was Jewish, though. Come on now, circumcised. Are you circumcised?

Yeah, of course. Good. Oh, you guys don't know Bob bombing. First of all, Bob, to this day, we all don't take bombing mobile. Bob really gets affected. And then he's the biggest act out. If you watch his show, it's huge act outs. So back when we would all bomb, I'd bomb the most.

It's a huge act out because there's huge laughter. You would get huge laughter. I'd bomb the most. It's not even close. Bombing and knowing an act out is coming up. I was not funny. I was so not funny. So I'm not acting like, but when Blau would bomb, it would be the funniest thing because it'd be the biggest fucking act outs and there would be no laugh.

Zero. And then you would know he's melting down inside and he had this dragon act out. Oh, no. And then he would hit. Yeah, yeah. He would hit. But the couple times it bombed, it was the funniest fucking thing. Oh, dude.

Didn't you guys have like a. Yes, yes, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, this is maybe the meanest thing I've done, but it's so funny. Stand-up New York comedy club in New York on the Upper West Side. I used to be there a lot. And they started a content house called Stand-Up Labs. They came to me and they were like, hey, do you want to do something?

I was like, sure. I'm broke. Who gives a fuck? And they were like, prank shows do really well. And I was like, I'm not that interested in doing like a prank for different people, blah, blah, blah. And then they're kind of like, we think it could do well. So I'm like, you know, it could be funny. If instead of pranking like four people an episode, you just prank one guy like four times and just make me think his life is falling apart.

And then they're like, do you have somebody you'd like to do that to? And I was like, I happen to. Now, we didn't get to finish because the first prank was so devastating. And someone blew it. But thank God that someone blew our cover. But thank God. Because the first prank was so devastating that if we had carried through, Blatt might have really killed himself.

If I didn't find out at the end of that set that it was a prank, I would have got on the A-train and blown my shit. Got on the A-train? You would have waited for the shit to hit you. You don't know this. The prank was. I think that's what it was a prank. I would have got on the A train and blown my fist. Got on the A train, you would have waited for the shit to hit you. You don't know this. The prank was, Blau wasn't in

a stand-up New York at the time. And again, getting past that club, especially back then, was a huge deal. So I did say, you guys need to pass Blau.

We'll prank him and then you can pass him after. But the prank was, call him in for an audition and I'm going to tell the audience, and we have it on tape. I said, guys. You have it today? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh yeah, we have I'm going to tell the audience, and we have it on tape. I said, guys.

You have it today? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, we have it. No, you don't. Yeah, we have it. We have it. We have it. Yo, look at his face.

We have it. We have it all. No, no, no, no, no, no. I think, I don't know. No, here's why. We never showed it. We never showed it. I talked to Gabe about this.

Yo, you're good. I actually ran this by Gabe, and he was like, no, it's fine. We never showed this because Blau. Just put his tour dates under it And then show Every 30 seconds Show a clip of him crushing

No here's the thing We didn't play it before Because Blau It was like dude If people's first exposure To Blau Is him not doing well It might subconsciously

Plant the idea That he's not funny Now Blau has so many Fucking millions of views That this clip Wait And it's also Dude 12 years ago

Look at my face I look young but like i'm a baby in that what is going on so they're putting up a gopro on stage so i tell the audience and and i know for a fact which is what's more fucked up i know for a fact this like you can tell when it's a blau audience you just feel it i'm hosting and i'm like blau would fucking crush he would level the room and so i have to like i was like i need to like really tell them like make sure they know like three times i was like guys again i told them when he comes up here do not react at all what is the audience look like they're just you can tell when they like bigger act outs a little bit when they like little things like that you can just feel they're like uh little they don't need like much yeah

they're like like performative shit like it much. Yeah, they're like performative shit. Yeah, yeah. LA crowd. They want bigger performance. And I could feel that from them. And they weren't like, they didn't love the super dark, like whatever.

So I was like, I would level the room. So I was like, guys, I'm going to call him. This is a good friend of mine, but just do not laugh at anything he says. Don't boo, don't heckle. Just stay silent.

And let's go. Hold on. Dude, I feel bad. I'm an asshole. I feel bad about this. I owe you an apology. I'm sweating just thinking about this. don't heckle just stay silent and let me say this too when i was waiting the wings and just to hype this up before we see it like when you said it before but i was not past this club so for a booker to call me in this is a big deal also the booker is in the room so i can't even go off script to be like what the fuck is wrong i can't do crowd work i can't do anything i want it he wanted to see a set so i'm not going off script and another thing too is i walk in i asked benji who's the book at the time i go how are they he goes unbelievable and, and what's insane too is,

what's insane is I poke my head in and Akash is murdering. So I'm like, oh, thank God, man. And if me back then, if I'm murdering, back then, if I'm murdering, he got it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm like, oh, this is great. And I just came from another comic club where i did i murdered i was

like i was feeling so good i was like oh running light them bring me up going in and this is before we started posting clips online this is like again like 2012 or whatever this is before schultz changed it all so the only thing a booker wants to see is five minutes of jokes and coming from the lantern we're used to we can handle cold audiences yeah i go in on you a bit i get out of there but you got five minutes and he needs to see jokes so you can't jokes no one thing i will say i did i was like you have to pass him after this for real you can't not pass him after this so i was looking out for you a little bit but i'm still a terrible person and i apologize i was a much angrier guy because i was poor and unfunny but this is the this is the Oh, I got to see this. This is so good.

But he sells tickets now to Wilbur's next week. Blau outsells me. He's doing the Wilbur twice. He's so fucking funny. He's my brother. He's so funny. If you want to watch his clip, go look up other Blau comedy clips on Blau Comedy. Yeah.

So you know he's funny. Hell yeah. And then after this, we'll decide if we're going to leave it in. I am so fucking nervous i've had it dude really watch it sometimes when i feel they're pulling the shit up on quick time this is an old ass video bro wow here's an old clip shit what's up motherfuckers good start um everyone's good everyone's feeling good cool i'm feeling good man happy father's day and shit um i uh i was hanging out with my little nephew today he's super cute he's uh seven years old and he looks Uncle Michael! He sounds just like Uncle. It's the cutest thing ever. He was like,

And I was like, I'm not that type of uncle. Not on party. Fuck you guys. I was in a fight recently and I live in Harlem so that's never fucking good. Right? And I got in a fight by accident. I was just walking down the street

minding my business playing Angry Birds like a fucking gangster. Like, ah, ah. And some dude like kind of hit my shoulder and he freaked out at me he was like oh shit you trying to fight oh you trying to fight oh shit I'm from Harlem motherfucker I'm from Brooklyn bitch I'm from staying up in New York motherfucker I'm from Brooklyn, bitch. I'm from staying up in New York, motherfucker. Now, pick the bomb. What the fuck happened here? Posse, please, Posse, if we can.

Posse. Yo, this is the thing. This is so bad. I wouldn't have been able to keep that much energy. So props to you. I would have bailed immediately. This is the funniest part of that, because we've all played you. Comics, we've been bombing, and you try to bring the audience in more.

So he's like, I'm from Harlem, he's naming and then you can tell he's bombing, so he's like, let me personalize it more. I'm from stand-up New York, motherfucker! What? Oh my god. Yo, that is everyone's nightmare.

The worst thing I've ever done, but it's so funny. I just want to have everyone remember that Akash was like. Shout out to you, Akash. This is so good. We couldn't put it out, dude. I had to sit on this for like 10 years because you got to get to a level. And you're there. And I mean this.

You're there. So I'm like, now he's famous and successful and clearly validated enough that i can put it out and we can just laugh at it but i was like we can't put this out because it's just so so so you want to keep watching you're like reliving it hey hey i think we're good let me get it no no no no no no, no, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let me get it. No, no, no, no, no. I used to bartend at a club, man. Oh, no. I used to bartend at a club. Oh, no. And what I realized is,

is the club is so loud that you guys come to the bar and you feel like you need to like act out the drinks. Oh, fuck. And then tell the bartender, you want two? Eh, eh.

Eh, eh. You want two? Eh, eh. Okay. Let me get two sex on the beaches. Not a bad bit. This is fucking awesome. Dude, holy shit.

You know how much I do this for a fucking living, and you guys were hot as fuck. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. When I came here, what did I do to you guys? Is everything fine? What, like, is everything, everything's fine? Did you guys have 320 comedians before me? It's so cringe. I love it. It comedians before me? It's so cringe.

I love it. It makes me feel so good. It's so good. I'm feeling hot and bothered. I'm like, oh my God. Me too. Man. And the fact he's getting a laugh out of them at all.

Yeah, that's good. Is truly impressive. Because they've been directed not to laugh and they can't help it. But now we got to finish. No. You guys are good, man. This is what it's about, man. You get good shows. You get good shows.

You get bad shows. Lock the doors. We gonna fucking light this bitch on fire. That's hilarious. And this is the audition. I keep forgetting that. Scattered giggles. Scattered giggles. Guys, you guys have been some people in the room. I appreciate you guys being here.

Please come back. You guys are really cool. Thank you. My name is Michael Boston. Have a good night. He handled it so well. You didn't even want to Thank you. My name is Michael Boston. Have a good night. We're so professional. He handled it so well. You didn't even want to save him at the end of the set and be like, this is- I'm trying to figure out like, because the plan was to not tell him. The plan was to have more- No.

In like a week. Oh, right. There would be more pranks. Right. Because as it's happening, I'm watching being like, oh, this is even- In theory, it's so funny. Yeah. But as I'm watching it, I swear to God, I was like, oh, this is even more painful than

I thought it would be. Yeah. This is- I don't know if i had reached i fucked up yet but i'm thinking did i fuck up i'm like is this like so fucking mean and then the plan is three more after this and i'm kind of like and it's a five minute audition so i'm having i'm trying to figure all this out in five minutes dude that'll make it back to maryland that's crazy yeah i gotta go up afterward and be like we would have told him max one week later, but I've got to go back. A week? Yeah, Max. That's crazy.

It's a one-week prank show. You know what I mean? The show is the show. He would have Heath Ledger'd himself after that. I know you think that's really bad. I think you handled it like anybody would. I was expecting way worse. It really wasn't bad.

I think anybody would do that right now. I'd be like, what's happening? These are tried and true jokes. He went home and jerked off like 50 times oh yeah oh it's so funny though it's so funny this is the best fucking sketch show you did exactly this would be the best this would be the best fucking sketch show. You did exactly what anybody wanted to know. This would be the best. I'm going to be there tomorrow. I'm flapping. Tell your shit.

It's so mean, but it's so fucking good. Dude, the interesting thing is, I haven't obviously ever seen this, and this is bad, but this is actually not as bad as I thought it was. It's not as bad as I thought it was. It's not as bad. I thought it was going to be great.

I'm telling you, dude, I would have for sure lost it on that. Because I think you addressed the awkwardness. Had you just kept doing five minutes of bits, then it would have felt worse. But I think you're like, what's happening? What's going on? You still got laughs, even though they're trying not to laugh. That is impressive.

It's also crazy that you can just do that to any crowd. Anybody's microphone. If you were next to the cell, you'd be like, hey, guys, we're doing a prank. You can do that to anybody, any given time. If you want to just fuck with the hell out of them, hey guys, just fuck with them. Boom. Anybody. You know what's interesting is like, after I found out who's...

I'm going to be organically bombing, I'm going to be like, this is set up. Who told y'all? Okay. I was first on the show. Wasn't it a ticket set? They told you at the door? Man. Yeah, dude.

But the crazy part is, is after they even told me, I was on the train home. You can't shake a bottle like that. And I was still, I know, I was still being like, I'm still internally feeling as though I just bombed in front of a booker. Yeah. You know what I mean? I couldn't, even though I knew it wasn't real, I still couldn't shed it. Absolutely. Fuck.

And then I jerked off. For sure. Too much stress. How mad were you after that? Dude, I was so emotional. I don't remember ever, I don't think I was mad. And we never did anything like that, but we would just fuck with each other all the time.

And again, we were fucking, this is fun, but also you're broke, you're angry, whatever. Like if you were eating a dessert, we'd just knock it out of your hands. Like we just bullied each other with little pranks like that. You can tell me that if you guys were recording a set in the back and someone was bombing you,

you'd pop your head up in the camcorder, but you're bombing right now. Yeah, we used to fuck with each other. So again, it seemed like we're definitely taking it up two notches, but it was like, we all kind of fuck with each other. So I think it was like, all right, well, you fuck with me. And then after we talked and I was like, I don't think we're going to,

we can't probably can't put that out because I'm watching it being like, oh, this is worse than I thought it would be. So I had to just sit on and dude, I had, I almost deleted. I got a new laptop and I just, for whatever reason, I forgot I had that. And I was like, I didn't delete my files. And then I, what does that file saved as? Fuck you, blah. It'd be called the mark i

think was the name of the show and it was basically like punked but for youtube yeah meaner and you had been on punk so it all worked oh you being the first guy was actually like so perfect because you handled bombs the worst you were on a prank show it's like a thing you're funny for real so it was like dude yeah I didn't know you still had it I didn't either but when we had you on I was like

oh do I still have this and I did I thought you were fucking around I didn't think you had it I have it wow that was

fucking you you can have a drink we all get a drink man we take a little break go pee go do whatever

we gotta do come back, black and settle with thoughts, we'll get fucked up together. Wow. Dude, just when you, I was literally reliving it. Bro, I saw. Wow. His first reaction is, no, no, we're not playing this game. We're not playing.

Right. That's it. I get it. Oh, my God. You have to zoom in on my face when I realize you actually have it. Because my face is like... It's a very honest like, oh, fuck, what's what I have in front of my face. Dude, it's like 10, 12 years.

It's before Andrew had Guy Code. It's before all of that. So for 12 years you've been buying shirts that don't fit you? Yeah. I was like, how do you have an oversized shirt at that? Yeah, I couldn't dress. I still can't. This is what it is. I am who I am. Nah, this was good, though. Okay, thank you. I'm trying it's on. Yeah, I couldn't dress. I still can't. This is what it is.

I am who I am. Nah, this was good though. Okay, thank you. I'm trying to step it up. But anyway, that is the meanest thing I've ever done. That's crazy. But it's so funny

and luckily, I just didn't buy a new laptop forever so I just had that one sitting on the old one. I just bought a new one and haven't deleted the shit off of that one yet

so it was there. Only reason I have it and you would have never seen it but I'm so glad you did and you did better than... That was way better than I thought. That's way better than I have it. And you would have never seen it. But I'm so glad you did. And you did better than... That was way better than I thought. That's way better than I thought it was. Dude, you handled it well. You still couldn't put it out

because, again, I didn't want people to be like, oh, this guy's not funny. But now there's so much evidence that you're funny that I feel like we can play this now. Dude, I mean, I'm telling you, I would have loaded a revolver. Like, slowly. And you, I would have loaded a revolver. Like, slowly. And you would have zoomed out on the F train.

You would hear one single shot. And then there's nobodies in the wind. Just says, fuck you, Akash. Fuck. Oh, man. Dude, that's a crazy good prank. It's so good. To the fact, 12 years later, he can still relive it.

Yeah. It's a really good one. It's really good. In fact, 12 years later, he can still relive it. Yeah. It's a really good one. It's really good. It's too good, to be honest. If it wasn't so good, people would have seen this years ago. But it's so fucking mean that I was like, ugh, I can't do this. It feels awful. But now, again, Wilbur twice, so who gives a fuck?

That's true. Wilbur twice. Could have had a third. Could have had a third. Yeah. Not after this. I'm going to do this to you. I'm going to do this to you gonna do this too in like a in

like i don't know when and then you see him standing up just clapping yeah dude i do fear that and again now when i bomb i'm gonna be like come on yeah where's the camera yeah yeah i got it okay let me ask a question that sort of relates to this when you guys are crushing do you is such a weird, like, don't have a good self-evaluation of myself. Do you guys ever think – I'll just put it on myself and ask you. Sometimes when I'm crushing, I think that I'm crushing because my fly's down. Never had that thought. Never? I swear to God.

There's laughter where I'm like – are y'all laughing at me? You know what I mean? Like I can't possibly be this funny. Correct. Something has to be going on. There's something behind me. Yes. That's just a self-evaluation of myself.

I'm just like, oh, maybe this is like, this can't be real. What's happening? Is there like a fucking flaw? I'm crushing so hard. Is there something else? Yeah. I don't have that self-doubt thing, but what I still wrestle with and used to be real bad, I remember they'd be calling me up at Eastfield, which is the only club I was past at other

than St. of New York. Yeah. And as they were calling me up, packed room, Fridayurday night i'd be like god i hope these people don't realize i'm a complete phony and it's such a hacky comic self-doubt thought even the fucking i'm annoyed at how hacky that thought is but then the second they didn't laugh i would be like oh shit they're finding out and i would start talking faster and cussing more and overcompensating and i would hear it back when you listen to your sets and I would hate that and I couldn't figure out what it was.

And then I realized it's, oh, I think I'm a phony and they're finding out I'm a phony. So now I still have to like, if a joke doesn't get a laugh, grab my brain and be like, yo, chill, calm down,

take a breath. You're going to be fine. You're funny. Even if this show doesn't go well, you have thousands that did, you're cool. So it's still like a self-worth thing that, I mean mean you probably got some void if you're getting up on that fucking stage yeah so you also i'll grapple with that yeah i think the greatest part about we're right in our

career now is we have like receipts yeah like back in the day when you don't do well you don't have no receipts now you can just be like hey man i'm doing comedy for 15 years people come see me two plus million on tiktok yeah blah blah blah like we're like we're good but uh but it's still hard it's still hard to like get that yeah in your brain yeah um should we get some drinks yeah let's get some drinks but i'm gonna give you a second to settle your nerves i'm good i'm gonna have two more drinks i loved seeing that it still affected you though that lets me know if i wanted to be an asshole, I could. I'd be really successful as a dickhead. Yeah.

You need to. You need to. That was amazing. That was seven cameras. It really is. I didn't even know that camera was that nice back then. The idea of that prank show is really good. That's what you did so fucking mean.

I couldn't do it. Stop it. I feel like somebody could do it to me and ruin my fucking life. Stop it. I feel like somebody could do it to me and ruin my fucking life. But four pranks on one person in an episode is such a fucking smart idea as opposed to four different people, one prank, we're done. Just one guy watching them grapple with it every single day. It's a really good idea.

It really is. It's such a good idea. But in this day and age, I mean, one night like that, there's no episode two. They're done. Yeah. They're out. Yeah, it's over. Damn. But you signed off very professionally Yeah, it's over. Damn. But you signed off very professionally, which was very proud of you. Dude, you guys have been some people in a room. It was really

good, because I'd have been like, hey, you guys suck my fucking dick. I don't really need to be at this club. Who gives a shit? Signed off very like, that's my American Idol audition. Good night. I think that I would have loved to have seen this if the booker wasn't in the room and i wasn't

auditioning who knows what would happen i want to throw a chair at somebody who knows i mean but like when you're in those confines you have to sort of still be like professional something i'm still auditioning for the club there's no booker there it's the lantern so the village lantern i think we talked about this blau andrew me a lot of other funny people case good friend of ours case rosa we would stand outside and get people downstairs into a basement and you had to convince them this dark basement

is actually a room with funny comics. And the first three or four people would always be like, what the fuck? It's just us. It's New York. There are tourists.

They're getting uncomfortable. We had to get comics. Sorry to interrupt you. We had to get comics that were on the show to sit down. And pretend to be audience sometimes. Pretend so the real audience would

feel comfortable to sit in a fucking not even comfortable a little less uncomfortable at least the other people here who i think are on the show or think at the show but uh we deal with you just deal with shitty audiences all the time as a product of that so that when he's doing little moments we do have some training in that but the training is also fuck you we'll fucking i don't give a fuck i'll burn this whole place down. The whole place. Yeah. I think I said at some point, I'll burn this fucking place. But I did it

in a likable way. Yeah, yeah. But only because there's a bouncer there. I mean, a booker there. Alright, let's get a drink. I gotta pee. And I'll get high. Guys, I'm not gonna waste time talking sports with these two because they don't know nothing about it. So, if you didn't know, I have been on an unbelievable cold streak on price picks. We're going to keep it going. You know the plan. You pick the exact opposite of what I suggest, and that's going to

make you money. Also, you sign up at pricepicks.com and use the promo code Schultz. They will match your initial deposit up to $100. So if you invest $100, you deposit $100, you get $100 for free. You really can't lose unless you're me, and then you find a way to lose every week. But that's how you win. Just pick the opposite of me. So here are the picks for next week. The Dolphins are playing the Eagles. I don't trust the Eagles secondary. I got Tyreek Hill getting more than half of a touchdown. That means he's going to score at least one touchdown. Okay. Also, I got Jalen Hurts throwing for less than 264.5 yards. I know he's a great runner. I just don't think he's going to pass for that many yards. And last, Travis Etienne, I think he's gotten a touchdown the last two games. I think he keeps that streak going. Touchdown, three straight

games for Travis Etienne and the Jacksonville Jaguars. More than half a touchdown for Travis Etienne. Thank you, guys. Prize picks. Now let's get back to the show. All right, guys. We're back. We got drinks for everybody. Again, I don't drink, but let's all cheers. I'm going to get fucked up.

We'll get fucked up. We've never done this together. We haven't. I feel so good about this, dude. I got you. I got you. I got you. Let's go.

That's more than I usually do. I'm going to be fine. How many milk are you talking? It's only five, but for me, that's a lot. I don't do it all. Five is a lot. I mean, yeah. If I did five, yeah. I'm that's a lot. I don't want to do it all. Five is a lot. I mean, yeah, if I did five, I wouldn't be cooking. You'd feel nice.

So do you normally do this? My wife's going to get some nice limp dick tonight. Do you think your dick game has improved? No. How has it not? Yeah, that's what I'm saying. It's only one. It has to go up.

Because it's only one. But it has to go up. Yeah, but the communication has to be obviously- Oh, we're great. Yeah, that's what I mean. But I'm sure if it was another girl, she'd be like, okay, buddy. I mean, I used to want to do a bit about this where like my wife used to be like more jealous that I would cheat on her.

And I want to be like, baby, no, I would never cheat on you. My dick game is trash. Like, I'm not going to go betray both of us with this. You know what I mean? That's embarrassing both of us. Why would we do that? Why don't you do that? She won't like it. I think I've done it, but then I

couldn't think of more meat to it, so I just have that line kind of sitting there. Whatever. If I can think of more meat on it, we'll do it as a bit. It is interesting that every woman you run into is just different buttons. Why can't it just be the same across the board? I believe you, but I don't know that to be a fact. It is a fact.

I believe you, but I don't know, Al. G-spots is a fact. I mean, I believe you, but I don't know, Al. G-spots are all over the goddamn place. He's right. Some girls like the- Somewhere in Pensacola. That's what I'm saying. Tuscaloosa. But that's what makes it fun.

Yeah. Is it? If it was the same every time. I don't want to play Operation, bitch. Come where it is. But what's more rewarding, Postmates or when you make the food yourself? Postmates. Postmates.

All right. I'm trying to be a diabolical. Don't you like making a meal? I don't even like making a fucking meal. I like jerking off myself and going to sleep. I hear what you're saying. The more rewarding? I hear you.

I can't find a G-spot today. Can I get a middle ground? I would rather do a HelloFresh. Put an air tag in there. Bring this shit to my thing and I'll make it. Does that make sense? How is that sex? What is that sexually to you?

I don't know. I'm not quizzing you. I want to know. I don't know. Inquire your minds when I know. I don make it. Does that make sense? What is that sexually to you? I'm not quizzing you. I want to know. I don't know. Inquire your minds when I know. I don't know. So it's like all women are different, but at least just give me the recipe and how to find it. There you go.

All it is in my head, it's just this sounds so whatever. It's just communication, man. It's just open. Be louder. It's just open. Pull up the clip. Pull up the clip. Pull up the clip. Producer's catching strays. It's crazy.

It was so good, though. It was mad loud. He's keeping in everything bad you said on this episode for sure. He's erasing all the notes. What did you want me to take out about that? Oh, my God. It's like a pirate ship over there. I was like, what is happening, dude?

Catching a stray on a Sunday is insane. Oh, my God, dude. Insane. I love you. I love you. I'm plugging around. We got to get you. You don't even know his name.

Miles. Miles. You bailed on that one. If he goes out, I go down. This is our podcast. Yeah, I thought this motherfucker was a clown. I'm bombing. That shit really threw him off, bro.

What time are we at? What time are we at? I'm from Stand Up New York, motherfucker. That's how I think about that line all the time, dude. I'm from Stand Up New York, motherfucker. My favorite thing is when I pull out of a bin and I go, what the fuck is wrong with y'all? That's my favorite moment.

Holy shit. Oh, man. When is this weed going to kick in, you think? I don't know. It says fast acting, but they always say that. But you'll know. Oh. When I'm gone, it's pretty clear I'm gone.

What happens? My eyes get red. I'll probably slump down in my chair. I'll be just a lot less. I'll be a lot more who gives a fuck. He's been talking about doing weed for probably over a year before that. He's like, maybe I'll do it. Like, maybe like just edging.

He's like edging, doing weed. What was the spark when you came up? I don't know. I think pandemic. I was like, I haven't done anything. And life is short. So like, I'll do something. And then I was hearing more about benefits of like shrooms.

I microed those shrooms. That was fun. You did? Those were fun. Those were great. The best. I'm trying to get my wife to do it it's so fun so fun they're i'm it's it's my favorite i haven't done all the drugs but it's my favorite for sure better yeah yeah yeah but if you give me a health benefit i'm in

i'm never taking it oh my god what is it fucking a ficus plant if i take it i've only done it once dude he loves molly he'll microdose Molly. It's kind of crazy. Like Molly water or just straight up Molly? No, just like take a little bit of it. It's on a Thursday or what? No, if I'm going out, out. But it's like, then you don't have to drink as much.

You don't have to hang over the next day. Like if you microdose, it's fine. If you take too much, then you feel like shit. I wish we had the Quaalude era. I just feel like that was different. I feel like our Quaalude is microdose. I just watched it. I watched it and my wife, weirdly, she loves

the girliest movies but loves Wolf of Wall Street and we're watching it together again and it's so funny and the improv in that movie, we played it on a Patreon because it's just like incredible improv. Remember that scene where they're talking about tossing the midgets at the targets but they're like, how do we do this? Little people, man.

No, they said midgets in the movie oh all right i'm almost one of them what are you talking about i'm borderline midget i can say this what is this like a half black person saying what is it what's the cutoff am i close to five feet even i think it's 411 is like yeah 411 and below is midget but that should only be men my mom is 411 and a half she ain't no midget yeah no it is i think it's 4'11". It's like, come on. Yeah, 4'11 and below is midget, but that should only be men. My mom is 4'11 and a half. She ain't no midget. No, it is. I think it's a different cutoff. Come on, yo.

Come on now. My mom is hot in the nose. His mom's a midget with giant tits, bro. It's crazy. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. What? Have you seen? Yeah, giant.

He's met my mom. Yeah, she got the bazoongas on her? Yeah. He was at my wedding. He met my mom. All of our moms on this podcast have giant tits. Wow. Yeah.

Mine's got B tits. Perfect. Yo. And you said B in jail. That's perfect. That's weird. Perfect. Bro's breastfeeding at 19 being like, oh, I'll see you tomorrow.

I'll breastfeed right now if she let me. Give me your tits. Trevor, your mom? Yeah. Bad. I've seen it. I think she's gorgeous as my mom. your tits, Trevor. Your mom? Yeah. Bad. I've seen it. I think she's gorgeous as my mom. No, no, no.

Her tits. Let's be respectful. Yeah. Come on. Don't be weird about it. Handful is perfect. Handful. I wouldn't introduce her to Michael, but yeah, you know about Handful.

I've met her. I know you have. I've DM'd her. He got heavies? He got the- No heavies. Heaviesitos? No heavies.

No. No heavies. Nice assies Nice ass Nice ass You're into asses You think that's where it comes from I'm a big ass man He's a big ass guy

Dude here's the thing Asses are like his feet Yes And my mama's got Beautiful fucking feet Your mama's Yeah Oh

My mama's feet are alright What happened at this Lantern place That you guys came from That's where it comes from Cause all three of y'all Are some weird feet Motherfuckers

Isn't it interesting You're a foot guy too I love feet He loves them the most It's probably Let me ask you a question Andrew is fucking Out of this world with you

No dude It's something weird with y'all No no no The most Oh more than Schultz Foot porn all of that Oh the most Alright so

You see a girl's page on IG Is the first thing You go to the feet Bro he stopped at a billboard For the Barty movie To zoom in on the feet People honking at me People honking at me. People honking at me.

You gotta know. We just jumped out the window. Postmates! Honk, honk. I don't give a shit. Let me get this on my goddamn Instagram story. Hot feet. God.

It's so... Dude, I'm literally... Something at the Lantern. Fuck you guys up. He's 7% hard if I think about it. He told me a story about hooking up with this girl one time. He was a fan.

I don't know if you're comfortable sharing this story. Well, we'll see. Okay. Doesn't matter. Miles is keeping it in. He said she came over. She came over

to my place after a show. She knew who I was. Yeah. Fan. Gave me a foot job. Yeah. Left.

Didn't say a word to each other the whole time. What? She knew what's up. You're on a different level. You're on a different level. Different level. They don't do stuff with feet.

They just admire you. You're crazy, dog. You're crazy. You don't fuck feet? God, dude. If you take them, you baby oil them up dude and you just fucking just dude and the little toes are moving too dude my last girl would wrap her fucking toes around and then oh fuck i'll come she was a brown girl too so she had them fucking you know yeah what I mean? Yeah. Talents. She could pick up a burrito, bitch.

Yo, that was one. I swear to God, that was a big thing. Well, my wife has nice feet, and Indian girls don't normally, so that's one of the reasons I was like, I have to ask this girl out.

She's a beautiful Indian girl with nice feet, and a Goldman Sachs internship where I'm going to get this again. Yeah. I can't comment, but yeah. Unbelievable. I love how feet and Goldman Sachs were on the same playing field. get this again? I can't comment, but yeah. I love how feet and Goldman Sachs were on the same playing field.

Son, it's the same. It was same to same. That's amazing. That shit mattered to me. I was like, that's God's way of telling me this is my wife. That's beautiful. Did you know that it was your wife when you first met her? She honestly was so hot to me that I was like, this girl is going to ruin my life. There's no way this is a good girl.

This is impossible. And you were not in an awesome place right when you first met her, weren't you? You were still in the ecosystem of the... No, I was doing not great, but better. I was in the guy code and all that shit. So to me, life was the grand. Oh no.

I was making like 60K or whatever, doing shows. And I was living with Case Rosso, our homie. And we would just be out hanging out all the time. I had more than enough to live for what I needed. I was like a super independent free time. was i went broke in 2018 oh no no i'm not i'm not talking about see what happened there um what uh no no i'm saying like weren't you you had like heartbreak oh yeah yeah that's what i'm saying you go so not not financial i just had no game dude it's unbelievable i'm not saying i have a lot now, but I just didn't know women. My friends were all dudes.

I had an older brother. I didn't understand how different we were mentally and emotionally, and I just couldn't fucking understand it. Because your mom had fat tits. There's no... That's what I'm saying. Yeah, but my mom loves me unconditionally.

Right. I couldn't understand why I wouldn't... Only one woman I talked to, she loves me unconditionally. Yeah. And she got the hem. Damn! Why?

Let me see them. Why not have a super hot Fat tits girlfriend Do you like fat tits I'm not into it I'm out Yeah Two

They're two head Do you know what I mean Your mom's tits are perfect They're fucking perfect They're just like They're just like this They're just fat Right there

She's got good nipples though That's so good Weird but I love it So good How do you know what the nipples look like How do you not? Yeah, he sucked on them, dude. I know, but.

You didn't suck on your mom's tits, fucking cuck? I don't remember my seventh grade art teacher's name, but you remember the nips? Yeah, it looked like green beans. What the fuck? I don't know. I'm just fucking around. Oh, man. There we go.

Green beans? Oh, yeah. Yeah, but after you have too many kids, the nip will come out. Really? Yeah. Because you're going to suck too many kids, the nip will come out. Really? Yeah. Because you're going to suck so much? Yeah. After a couple of kids, you need areola surgery.

Really? Yeah, I'll pay for it. It's a new BBO. Yeah. You're an ass man because your mom has a fat ass. Well, okay. It's not a fat ass, but that's what I look for. Dark hair and an ass. What kind of hair does your mom have? No, I want to know I look for. Dark hair and an ass.

What kind of hair does your mom have? No, I want to know your mom. Dark hair. There you go. I just get so weirded out when people talk about, oh, my mom's so hot, but bro, what? And then more people define my type. I'm like, bro, that's literally...

What is that? They either look like my ex or my mom. And I'm like, what the fuck? But your ex and your mom look similar. Holy shit. Dude, I'm telling you. I've said it before. This is just a Mario episode in my head.

I don't know what to do. My wife might look like my mom. Short Indian girl. Oh, they look similar. They act super similar. Like, crazy. Yeah. Do you think it's just because what your brain was raised on is all you know?

I knew I wanted to marry an Indian girl, so that's something I looked for. But I think objectively, a lot of people would say my wife is beautiful. I obviously do. But like, yeah, I don't know. Maybe that's why I was so attracted to her part of it so you felt like she's way out of your league and then it just clicked or something yeah i just also i in my experience that type of girl at that level of hot i was like there's no way this is gonna be like a girl on my wavelength in terms of morality and whatever and she's like a super religious so i was like oh this lined up

in a way that i didn't think it would but it was again she was so hot I was like there's no way she's like she also hadn't had sex until she was married just like a bunch of she's super religious she's like wants to be in

she's sick I'm Hindu but she wants to be praying every Sunday it was like sick temple where we went for my wedding

so every Sunday she tries to go and then I'll go a lot too just as a part of that but like yeah she was it was like oh this lined up in a way I didn't think it would. In New York too, it's just girls out there. Yeah.

So I was like, I assume it was out there. Yeah, what's happening? And they're out there. Just loose pussies running around. Yeah, yeah. Hey! Hey! Who's trying to get fingered?

No, but one of these days, one of these porn stars, you'll get them. What do you mean? You'll find out. You'll find out. I've had four occasions with one. Is this yours?

What? Can you say who? That's yours. No. Say it, we'll bleep it. Actually, we won't even know who it is. We don't know porn stars, to be honest with you.

The one that I have four occasions with is not like 101. She's like, you know. She's an up-and-coming artist. Yeah. She and her SoundCloud era. SoundCloud. Yeah, SoundCloud.

She's at the Lantern. She's only come up. Yeah. Yeah, but she's, yeah. Yeah. Describe her. Hot. Suck a dick through a something.

Tell you something. Are you guys fucking multiple times or just the once? We did twice. That's a compliment to you. She gets fucked professionally. So you got some pro dick. You could have made it to the league. She circled back.

It's like Uncle shooting at the Y. I could have done something with that. You got a knee brace on? Got the Bengay on? I think my dick game is probably above average I wouldn't say it was like top top top you know what I think

I bring to the table passion and I know you guys are going to make fun of me but I think it matters no I'm sure that yeah just a lot

just a lot of that's why that passionless hooker bothered you so much I'm telling you 100% but he's very crazy. He's like, all right, get hard.

And you're like, what? It's crazy. What was the worst? On command. That prank or the passionless hooker? The passionless hooker. I've never seen him so mad. I've known this guy for maybe six years.

Never seen someone so distraught. For you. There was nothing behind it. That's the maddest you've ever seen him. Ever. Because when I told Gabe that we were going to do this show, this video, he was like, yo, Trevor would love that because you have real strong opinions on Blouse Timber. you've ever seen him. Ever. Because when I told Gabe that we were going to do this, show this video, he was like, yo, Trevor would love that because he,

you have like real strong opinions on Blouse Timber and you want to like set up some cameras in front of him. I mean, we both see each other just lose our cool. I think we're getting better at it, but like, man, there's just days

when you see somebody in it and you're like, I'm just going to back up. What gets you mad? Yeah, I can't, this is what's really impressive about you two is how successful

and all that shit that you are, you're still just like the sweetest guy to me. You're just like the nicest guy. I think I was reasonably right but i don't know like you see me crazy man like dumb shit like one time the starbucks was taking too long it was too hot and it burnt my tongue and i just threw on the ground of a hotel carpet and then michael was like it's one of those days, huh? And then he said, just shut the fuck up. I will say, though, man. As a kid, I was more mad. Go ahead.

I will say, though, with your success went from, and I'm not shitting on you. This is actually a compliment. Your success, no, no, no, no. Hold on, let me just say this. This is going to sound, whatever. Your success went from zero to a billion in like two months, dog. In like two months, Doug. And I think that your ability to handle all of that was very inspiring, honestly,

because I think a lot of people couldn't handle that type of rise that fast. And so I think those moments that you were having during that rise were just because you were trying to handle and process all this shit yeah and sometimes that moment was the built up correct yeah and it's like dude i was i was there for every moment of that and and to your credit dude i think you handled it very very well because a lot of people wouldn't have dog like it's not like this slow standom success blah blah you went from literally people being like oh i kind of know that guy from vine to like the biggest internet person in two months i remember him it was insane wanting to start stiff stocks he was telling me about it and then he was like i mean this guy's just blowing the fuck up and i hadn't heard about you yet

but then it was no we started the thing before yeah before that but it was but it was like right before that so i was with you we started the podcast maybe that, but it was like right before that. So I was with you. We started the podcast maybe like two months, three months before the – I think it might have been the White Claw thing, right? The way we connected, I was about to quit my job, and you were doing college gigs, and college gigs were paying you like $2,000 to $3,000 at the time. And at that point, I was like, bro, that's like three months rent in Santa Monica. And then I was telling them how I was selling merch through videos, and we both connected that i was like you told me i had to call jake i'll tell you to do videos yeah remember and we just both like connected on that but yeah i also think just like doing like open mics years and years and years like that just like hammered in my head

that like you ain't shit you know yeah so i think kids get like an ego because they're just normal normal normal they get a big pop in videos now they're that guy right so i think just like that watching guys like kev and watching people like i had like i had a lot of videos pop in the back end slow slow slow so slow and then when it really really hit that's when i was like okay like it like it felt overnight but for me it's been like i've been posting videos for like three to four years so it was like steady steady steady but but you still handle a lot of people don't and i don't know if you said you inspired by this. I was.

Yeah, and I, this is, so I'm gonna give Schultz's flowers while he's not here. Sometimes, you know, I never get jealous of him, but sometimes I'll get insecure. Like, man, am I gonna, why it's taking me so long or whatever. And then I really think I get to watch Andrew do it and I get to see how he handles himself. And that to me has been such a lesson.

And like, this guy has never been too famous to take a picture with anybody. He's never been too famous to not give somebody his best version of himself. And so you'll hear stories of other celebrities being dickheads and might think that's okay. But I got this example of this guy that's like, no man, you do it. That's what you do.

You take the picture, you do whatever. And so I do feel like it's so cool that I get to learn that from him. And I'm curious what y'all learned from each other. Cause maybe you've learned that from him. I don't know. Yeah. I mean, that's literally exactly what you said, man.

Just like watching how you, uh, just like took on all the success that fast as professionally professional as you were during all the success was inspiring. But also like, I did learn a lot where it's just like, even just how to like hand yourself like through an airport or like yeah try to like hand yourself in the meet and greet and like how you how like the stuff you

even sold at the meet and greet like i just all that kind of stuff as fast as someone can whip out a phone you can be on the internet the next second later i never wanted to be that guy who's like having a public meltdown out of fucking you know quiz notes with the airports because that'll ruin it i'll have a public meltdown. If I feel disrespected, Blau and I do have this in common. That's the shit that takes me 0 to 100. If I feel like you don't have common decency. I'll catch myself quick. I'll, like, start to ramp up. I'm like, okay,

just a joke. But, like, I'll feel it come out. I'm like, you know, as a kid, bro, I, like, used to, my Xbox remotes, the controllers had bite marks. Like, throughout my life, this shit folded up, bro. It folded up like an overcooked patty. This shit folded up, bro. It folded up like an overcooked patty. This shit folded up.

I would bite on them. I had multiple holes in my wall. The Kyle shit punched in the shit in the wall. That's all me. I would throw remotes. I would just like, I would just like, dude, I bit my iPhone once and cracked the screen. Just so mad. Just bit it.

At what? Who knows? This was like, maybe I was like 19 or 20. How did you calm down? Was it like an active thing? Well, what happens, you get this like post maybe i was like 19 or 20 how did you calm down was it like an active thing i think well what happens you get this like post nut out of like stress regret and you're like what am i doing yeah fucking gnawing your dogs are gonna be like why are you chewing on the remote that's my job you know yeah you just feel like an idiot and then i just like i think

that i just never wanted to look like an idiot in public and i just think that like it's not i don't know i just i never wanted to be like likeel Boss. Remember that dude that was going crazy in New York? He's like, I just never want that to be how people associate with you. Oh, that Trevor guy was dope, but he's a complete asshole. So, so, complete asshole. I just never want to be associated with those two. You're always friendly though.

I've seen you get recognized. I've seen you get recognized. I see you with Andrew all the time. And it's like, oh, and also, dude, it happened to my wife one time. Some bitch from Peloton, my wife take those classes. And then this girl, her whole thing is about being positive or whatever. And my wife saw her in Newark Airport and she was like, oh, that's the girl who's video. And I was like, yo, go say hi.

She said hi to the girl. Now, granted, it's early, but my wife, and then maybe a little uncomfortable. She just goes, hi, which you're kind of, and then the girl goes, hi. And then my wife kind of, and she's like, I just want to tell you, I love taking your classes. You're so nice. I love whatever. It's so, thank you so much and she just goes okay yeah and i was like yeah you're the biggest bitch in the world dude and i never want to be that but it does when you start i realize

when it happens a lot that's tiring you got it but you got to do it but it is like i'm glad i had the model of being like it was never okay and i'm out of house just get recognized all the time i'm starting to get recognized more but that's and i see constant like hey man what's up super comfortable super and i'm like oh that's the way to be well thanks a lot of building for somebody to go out of their comfort zone to say something to you or like like wait why that's what it's a build-up yeah and then the letdown you're like i went out of my way to give you a compliment and you're gonna shoot it down like that just you feel worse yeah i always try to put myself in their position

where it's like, it is a lot because they've been seeing you for three minutes and they finally worked up the courage to come over to you and then you're an asshole. It's like, dude,

it takes three seconds to just be like, oh man, thank you so much, man. I appreciate you listening or I appreciate you watching the clips. You want to get a picture? Awesome, bang.

It's fucking 20 seconds. The snarky response doesn't do anything for anybody. It's like people who mouth off to a cop. You feel cool in the Awesome, bang. It's fucking 20 seconds. The snarky response doesn't do anything for anybody. It's like people who mouth off to a cop. You feel cool in the moment, but the cop's not cutting you any slack. What if they're not, hey, man, I'm such a big fan? I've had annoying shit, too, where somebody walks up and is filming in my face. I was at a bar last night, and this guy walks up filming with a shot.

He goes, yo, this is for you. And you're just like, all right, I guess I'm just going to just, you know, you're kind of just in the back of your head. You're like, this is weird, but you go, all right, I guess I'm just going to just, you know, you kind of just in the back of your head, like, this is weird. But you go, all right, let's get into it. I had a guy. He didn't outright know who I was, but I looked familiar. You know, you get the, where do I know you from? I'm trying to get an Uber.

We're leaving. I'm date night, whatever. It's like 11. It's fucking cold outside. Windy, maybe rainy. Good feet. That guy has, yeah, good feet. I'm like, absolutely.

The guy has an umbrella. He's like four feet away from me. And he just pokes me in the shoulder with the umbrella that's crazy and i look at him yeah i look at him and then he goes where do i know you for i go i think i know you where do i know you i think i know you and i just go i don't think you do man and then i just like grabbed that's the only time i can ever remember and being like you can't poke someone with okay thank you i'm not crazy right paying me that was that man i was like what's your fucking deal and as short as he is like I remember being like, you can't poke someone with a fucking... Okay, thank you. I'm not crazy, right? What are you, Penguin from Batman, bitch? I was like, what's your fucking deal, bro?

And as short as he is, like, he had to bring that in. Like he was knighting him? I know you from somewhere. Yeah. Come here, kid. Where do I know you from? Like the disrespect. Did I see you in Wizard of Oz?

Some shit on mustard. On mustard.z yeah that's crazy because that was the only time i was like i'm not gonna indulge this fucking thing and be like oh i do stand sometimes i'll be like i do stand up because i don't know how to handle it yeah clip online but i was just like no fuck you and then you can't hit me with an umbrella's crazy yeah i wondered for months i've like, was I a dickhead to that guy? He was a dick, right? Yes. He's crazy. He was Indian,

so he was also short. But I was just like, you're fucking, fuck you, dude. I felt it on my shoulder for like minutes after. I was like, who the fuck does that?

How do y'all feel about guns? I'd rather he shot me in the shoulder and said, where do I know you from? I'd rather he tap the gun on my the shoulder and said, where do I know you from? Is it? I'd rather he tap the gun on my temple and be like,

where do I know you from? Can I ask you a question? No, that's crazy. That's crazy. So, that is insane. I can't be hyperbolic for a joke? I mean,

what are we doing here? I can't be high and hyperbolic? Yeah. Hyperbolic. Sorry. How do you feel about, because I think I might have

my videographer get strapped up. Is that a bad idea? Why your videographer? I don't know. I don't want to hire someone else. You're such a Jew. It's unbelievable.

It's unbelievable how much this guy hates spending money. Shooting videos, shooting gas, that's crazy. Why wouldn't you just get the gun? I don't want to shoot anybody. Or just tell the comic club, you guys got security, right? They never do. Just have an 8'4 videographer. He no one's touching my gun he's not that he's not that small but i also want him to be strapped up is that stupid no dude pay for

security what the fuck i don't want to pay for someone else to stop it no you guys don't bring the type of energy that you need anyone with a gun around. Sometimes I don't. On stage, I could definitely. Now, I will. The people sometimes will be like, how do you not get your ass beat? Normally, I will say during a show like, yo, guys, we're just joking around. If something you feel like cross the line, just let me know. I'll move on. I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings. I'm not here to disrespect you.

Yeah, you've been doing this for 15 years. Not a single person has gotten on stage and hit you. It's not going to happen. Three black girls in St. Louis almost beat the shit out of me one time. Yeah. Why? What happened? They misunderstood something I said as actually what happened. And they were accusing me of saying this shit that was like, Cam was there. It's like Penguin.

Cam was there not doing nothing, filming the whole fucking thing and getting beaten up. Doing his job. It's going to be a fire clip. I said something. What would you get more mad at? Getting your ass beat or not getting the clip? No, not getting the clip. Yeah, of course. Beat my ass, but let me get 20 million views.

Jesus Christ. Yeah, yeah. But they like went nuts, and I couldn't even understand. They were like going crazy. And then I was like, they accused me of saying something. I was like, I didn't say anything. What the fuck are you talking about? And then luckily, I paid Kev to come out there.

Back then, I couldn't even afford it. I was losing money. But he came out there, and he had it on tape. And they were going nuts on IG. People were leaving hate comments on my shit. An intermediary emailed me, you know, he was like, Hey man, I'm a fan. I just want to know what happened. This seems crazy. I talked to him and then they said, the girls want you to apologize. And I was like, yeah, if I said what I said, they can have the apology. I'm going to send them a video. And if I didn't say it, let's just leave it alone or something. No, they said they can have the apology i'm gonna send them a video and if i didn't say it let's just leave it alone or something no they said they wanted apologies on ig life fuck you but i was

like you're waiting for everybody to get an ig just waiting just waiting i'm gonna do my apology at 2k i was at like 22 000 followers at the time you think you're gonna get off of me but i was like no here's what i'll do if i said anything they are accusing me of saying online here's a video if i said any of that i'll apologize i didn I said anything they are accusing me of saying online, here's a video. If I said any of that, I'll apologize. I didn't. And then they just never reached out again. They didn't take down any of their comments, which was kind of fucked. But yeah, I almost got killed there.

And I was like, for sure, don't fuck around in St. Louis. Also, armed security, probably a good idea. Yeah, I remember you calling me. I was at my dad's place when you called me. And you were on, like, not even on one. Son, my mom got a Facebook message from some random person in St. Louis. It was crazy, dog. Because the video video of ours is people at the show people that they knew in st louis that dude i was getting death threats i was getting like there were people at the show who told people it's not like this those girls put it on ig ig they were on ig live probably

nobody watched and then they posted on ig they one of them was this was crazy there was just like i'm gonna sue i'm a lawyer i was a lawyer and were just like, I'm going to sue. I'm a lawyer. You don't know the law. It's not like me back in college. I'm a fucking lawyer. But it was just like 24 hours. People are like, yo, your tickets aren't sold out to your next show.

It's going to be packed with a lot of people wearing red. And I remember Bob being like, dude, just cancel the show. And then Andrew was like, nothing's going to happen. And I was like, that's probably right. Whitney canceled the show in Oxnard, which is kind of where I'm from. Yeah. I don't know what she said.

She made a joke about Oxnard. And like people were up in comments and she canceled the show. But I was like, I feel like things might have been fine. I don't know. But if there's even 1% of you that has like a fear. Like they don't for the most part have metal texture fucking comic clubs there's 300 people on there yeah yeah i don't want to be doing you know a fucking joke and then they get it i don't know what's happening dude the girls

got kicked out they didn't even leave the building they charged the stage got kicked and i remember thinking as they're charging the stage i'm like oh i forgot st louis is a city where you're not supposed to fuck around yeah and this girl could absolutely beat the shit out of me. She was a big girl, dude. Three of them. Kev, if I'm lying, please, I ask you, speak up. These are three legit big people. Were they accusing you of saying,

or is it just too crazy to even? It's not worth putting out there because what I actually said wasn't anything close to it. I don't even want to act like it was close. I don't know how they even heard it, but somehow, whatever, they got offended offended i think they were drunk and then they're upstairs yelling and i have to finish my oh also as they're charging i'm like they could beat the shit out of me but i cannot back off i cannot take i cannot act scared on this stage

because i would rather die here than let these motherfuckers know how terrified i am so i remember just left i've stepped i stepped back for like a half a second i was like no you gotta so i took two steps forward and then i was just talking to them like what are you even fucking what are you saying none of that what what the fuck are you yeah as calmly as i could then they get kicked out and i can still hear them yelling and i have to finish my set i have to do 40 more minutes with them yelling which is obviously all we talked about right but there was a crazy experience they're right up there's like upstairs they're not even out of the club they're kicked out of the club downstairs showroom upstairs bar there's at the bar drinking yelling everybody about how crazy how fucking racist i am or

whatever and i was like i said nothing like we're talking about yeah but legit death threats in st louis you see motherfuckers wearing red i'm out at breakfast my mom sends me a facebook message she got from someone else i started crying in the middle of the restaurant i was like what the fuck is happening yeah this is my mom did you bring my mom into this yeah yeah there was this time um schultz said something bad about philly on a podcast and like philly got really upset like the i was even getting dms like yo fuck that guy like it's on site for him so he was getting like real death threats and then he had a show coming up in philly like in two weeks. And so this was a time like I was just out of law enforcement.

I still have my piece or whatever the case is. So I'm like, I came strapped to the show just in case of shit. And nothing happened. He was good. It was actually son who was like sending death threats? Yeah, sending Andrew death threats. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got it. God damn, dude. That's crazy. That's what I'm saying.

What if you threw that affiliate and you were like, and then you landed in New Jersey? It is funny because they still have to pay for your ticket. They're like putting in their credit card information

to go talk shit. You're still getting their money. It's kind of funny. Nobody's paying to go to a comedy show to attack you guys. It's kind of crazy to pay 60 bucks to shoot somebody. Yeah, you're going to be fine. You don't need guns.

All right. Well, I don't need one. Yeah, he doesn't. I'm with my vidographers. Also, I fired guns in Vegas, and it was fire as fuck. We fired guns in Vegas, too. A machine gun in Vegas? I was like, I get it now. Yeah, a thousand percent. Guys were all into guns. I'm like in Vegas, and it was fire as fuck. We fired guns in Vegas, too. A machine gun in Vegas?

I was like, I get it now. Yeah, 1,000%. Guys were all into guns. I'm like, yeah, okay, find your father. But now I get it. Yeah. You're like, the energy that fills your body. Oh, my God.

It's so fun. Crazy. It's just a fun time, dude. We were shooting calibers and shit. We shot up our producer's car. 420 caliber. We blew up a car out there. They put MAs.

They put like dynamite. One of their Patreon goals is they got X number of patrons. i don't even we blew up a car out there they put one of their patreon goals is they got excellent over patrons i don't even know how much they would the gabe their producer had like i guess kind of a beater car and we're like we're gonna destroy this thing it's just a running joke like your car's shit we're gonna blow it up one day it's like a joke and then we're like wait a second there's places that do this yeah we're calling all these places but hey want to blow up a car hey let us do it yeah but it took like maybe like 10 phone calls yeah the first time we're like no yeah blow up a car like yeah it's for tiktok come on but then we found a place we got to fucking blow it up gabe was the one who did it it was awesome but shooting guns dude i feel like if republicans wanted more people on their side just let everyone

fire a gun go to anti-gun rallies and be like but have you tried tried it? Yeah, you don't have to shoot a person, but like maybe. And then liberals can let conservatives come inside of women and see how fun that is and maybe they'll be pro-choice. It's so fun, dude. Yeah, just shoot. Let everybody shoot it. What's better, coming in a woman or shooting a gun? Coming. Yeah. It's not even close.

Maybe shoot a gun. You don't have post-shoot regret. Well, some people do. Yeah, I mean, shooting a lot. Shooting. I caught myself. When you're out there shooting pumpkins, you're not like, oh, man. It's targets. Yeah, it's fine.

Speaking of pumpkins, you guys dress up for Halloween? Great segue. Great segue. Thanks, man. What's your costume? Because I feel like you want to tell us. No, I haven't. No.

I don't know. I just wondered if you guys are going to dress up. Probably for this podcast, we're going to do something most likely. All right. You guys don't know what you want to do? You guys want to dress up like Power Rangers? I never put that much thought into it. Me neither.

Bitches love Halloween. Why is that? I don't know, but I've had a show every single Halloween since my wife and I started dating, and I'm so happy about this. That's great. I love a show on a holiday. She's always like, you cannot take shows on Halloween weekend this year. And I'm always like, okay.

Whenever I was dating somebody, she'd be like, oh, there's a wedding coming up. I'd be like, oh, I know, but the Des Moines funny bone really needs me. Really need you? Yeah, it's a commitment. You've got to honor the commitment. Yeah, Valentine's Day? Bitch, I'm in Cincinnati. Can't do it.

Valentine's Day, I don't think I'd go. That's why you're single. Yeah. That makes sense. Dude, but in a relationship, he's so committed, so in love. It's fascinating. can't do it that's why you're single yeah that makes Halloween dude but in a relationship he's so committed so in love

it's fascinating I'll like FaceTime he's like oh I'm at a museum I'm like it's 8am it's like yeah what you thinking about yeah dude I was rollerblading with my ex

one time when we were together beautiful man yeah we'd come into the podcast but it was you this week and be like oh I was rollerblading I was like who is this man

yeah it's fascinating, right? It's crazy. So you don't miss it? It's night and day. Because here's the thing. I want to find love, but I also like random scattered pussy.

So how do I combat that? Would you do an open relationship both ways? Open relationship? Yeah, I love it. Oh, this is what I want to pitch you guys. But that's a porn star. Date a porn star. It's an open relationship.

That is true. But it's not open because... Can I fuck other people? You get to fuck other people? Yeah, that's what I want to pitch you guys. But that's a porn star. Date a porn star. It's an open relationship. That is true. But it's not open because can I fuck other people? You get to fuck other people? Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Oh, great. I'm into it. Yeah, that's an open relationship.

Yeah. And remember what I was talking about earlier where I liked the videos? Oh, yeah, dude. This is perfect. They're unlimited. Yeah, you strike me as a guy who dated a porn star.

Damn, I don't know how to take that. Look at your hair. No, no, no, no, no, no. Look how I look. That's not bad at all. I think I might be into it. He has both editing clips at the same time. Yeah, perfect, dude.

Kind of Barnes and Noble. He's like, I can't show this one. How do you feel about these captions? You know what I mean? Oh, this is what I'll pitch you. So how do you guys feel about,

I know you're out because you're married. You have a lovely wife. Al's engaged, so you might have to pitch Trevor. Oh, you're engaged? Kevin's super married. Miles is single. I got nothing. Let pitch Trevor. Oh, you're engaged? Kevin's super married. Miles is single.

I got nothing. Let me know. What do you think? You're engaged? Yeah. Congrats. Congratulations. I didn't know that.

Thank you, brother. How long did you date her before you got engaged? Three and a half years. Three and a half years? Yeah. That's a long time. Yeah. How do you feel about it?

I feel great. How did you engage her? I'm doing crowd work now. What's going on? How did you propose? I'm interested. I don you engage her? I'm doing crowd work now. Yeah, dude, what's going on? How did you propose? I'm interested. I don't know this. We went to Mexico, and it was like a planned thing.

I had some friends. I had my mom there. Didn't tell any of us. Fucking guy. Wow. Didn't tell any of us. Because they would say shit on a podcast before it's supposed to be out there. Right.

Yeah, but then you just don't tell Andrew. You tell the rest of us. There's only one of us. That's the thing. That's the thing. It might slip, and then once he hears it, and then it's fucking blue. So, yeah. And then I did it on a yacht.

It was kind of nice. On a yacht? Yeah. Did you have hoes? I had hoes. That sounds cool. Who am I going to propose to? My mom with the heavy.

Yeah, you know. They don't sell. They're up in time. So this is what I wanted to pitch all the single men. Like a barbershop. Or the people that want to weigh in on this. Do you think this type of relationship, I guess, could work? You can be with your wife, right?

But you're allowed to cheat. I just got high for sure. I just got fucking high. Good. Then this answer would be great. Okay. And you're with your wife and she's lovely and you love her so much. You guys have kids, blah, blah. Okay. And you're with your wife, and she's lovely, and you love her so much. You guys have kids, blah, blah, blah.

But you're allowed to cheat once a quarter. Why would every guy not be on board with it? You have to sell the woman on this idea. No, but the woman is allowed to cheat as well. No. Oh, no. All right. Absolutely.

No. 100%. Just look at every basketball player. Right. I don't know if the woman is allowed to cheat. I think they do that thing. When you say basketball players cheat once a quarter, you mean like four times a game? Exactly.

Yeah. But yeah. No, I think the wives kind of do that thing. I've heard that as well. Yeah. We hear this stuff. Oh, damn. Yes.

I have not heard about the wives. That's troubling. I hear the wives. That's great. That bothers me. That bothers me. I want them to do it they deserve it yeah you're on the road all the time i didn't think about that fuck your p90s instructor who cares oh no this is i don't like this at all this this two-way street thing is not this should not apply to cheating one-way street so local road but don't you want your wife to be happy

exactly oh hey are we about to kiss don't i want your wife to be happy? Don't you want your wife to be happy? Exactly. Oh, hey, are we about to kiss? Don't I want my wife to be happy? Yeah. Absolutely. We're happy in a monogamous relationship. But if I cheated and she cheated. Are you? Yeah, absolutely.

All right. This guy's in clip mode right now. He's looking for it. He's looking for it. I don't know why he's antagonizing. And I know you're a little high, so that's what I'm getting at. Well, maybe. I'm just fucking around.

But yeah, but the rules are, let me tell you. You took a sip out of like a Downs person. You're just like. Hold up. Can't say that.

Yeah, we can on this pod. Oh, you can? Yeah. A couple words will bleep out. They're super Hollywood so they got all the PC shit. No, Bloud doesn't. Dude, he used to want to act

and then he was actively, I remember having conversations with him and he was like, I feel like to want to act and then he was actively, I remember having conversations with him and he was like, I feel like I have to choose and then he shows stand-up. He actively doesn't want to act. Tells me. I'm done. Trevor, you're hosting a show on Fox or some shit. I'm doing a few things.

I'm kind of going through it right now, but at the end of the day, I like making my own shit. I like getting the idea executed and putting it out the next day. There's nothing better than that. Man, no one weighing in on shit. Nobody weighing in. No notes. But yeah, I do want to try some of that traditional shit. Just to say I did it. There's nothing better than that. And then no one weighing in on shit. Nobody weighing in. No notes. But yeah, I do want to try some of that traditional shit just to say I did it. I would love to try it.

No networks have come to you about like turning your... My special's on Amazon. I got to plug that. Oh! Let's fucking go! November 14th, Trevor Wallace, Tera Dax on Prime Video.

It's a Prime original because I'm fucking pumped on it. Oh. So maybe that'll bring some opportunities. If my career stays the exact same, I'm fucking stoked on my life right now. But I don't know. I think If my career stays the exact same, I'm fucking stoked where I'm at in life right now.

But I don't know. I think a lot of cool shit might work. I'm talking about a sketch show, especially. Yeah, I would love to do that because I have so many ideas that I want to do,

but it's just like, I get stressed out. I'll be like, that's too many people I'd have to cast. That's too much money I'd have to do. Let's shoot a sketch with us, dude.

Maybe we'll use it as the intro to the episode. I'll have that idea. I would love to do that. That'd be fun as fuck. I have so many ideas that are just bigger than me. My mom's coming, the lights are down. Yeah, handful of tit. I would love to do that. That'd be fun as fuck. I have so many ideas that are just bigger than me. Our moms come in,

the lights hit them. Yeah, handful of tit. That's the end of my special, handful of tit. And then the end tag is perfect. You did say perfect, which is so good.

They are. They're perfect. They're great. Wow, it's great. Anytime I think about it, fucking perfect. Right down the middle. Is that your Roman Empire house

that you think about your mom's page? Dude, I have my mom's yearbook underneath my bed. House keeping it safe. Why don't any of the pages open, Michael? Page 31 and 32 stuck together. Holy shit. But yeah, man,

if shit happens to that, that'd be awesome you know because I feel like I've done everything I want to do on the internet I just want to challenge myself and level up

what's your favorite thing though you got to pick one I just love making sketches with my friends what I love is like watching from behind the camera and watching my friends

do what they do best and I'm like that was a fucking take would you like so you're a cuck too yeah well their dicks are in their pants

yo you're a film cuck come on you're a film cuck film a cuck too. Yeah. Well, their dicks are in their pants. Yo! You're a film cuck? You're a film cuck. Film noir cuck, yeah. I never thought about that. Yo, you guys are a lot alike. Scorsese's a cuck. Scorsese, yeah.

All directors are cucks. They are. Yeah, do it again. They're so weird. Well, Dan, what's his name? The Nickelodeon guy? Bro, he loved The Feet. Oh, yeah.

So he'd be like, yo, Dan. Oh, Snyder or something like that? But there's like compilations of all the times he would pull up feet shit on purpose. And be like, run it back. Oh, wow. Well, they got their shoes off inside a mall. I don't know. No, you got to do that in private.

Of course. You got to do that in private. I know when he's in public. Trevor, you got some dainty hands, bro. Bro, people be saying that. I got small hands. You know, a lot of times I've been on dates with girls, they go,

let me see your hands. I go, I am not fucking tonight. You too, dog. Keep it up. Bro, can I see it? My girl, Hannah Burter,

she told me to mention that shit. Oh my God. I love him. That's fun. Hey, if that's your, what they did to each other, I appreciate it.

It's not as bad as the standards. Yeah, it is. But I be getting comments. I'll be holding the mic. I mean, I never look good on stage. Oh, that's a great shot of me on stage.

And the comments are like, little dainty hands. Petite hands. Call my hands petite. Like, it's a four-ounce steak, a little petite. Do we all got small hands? But this guy, how does it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. How does it?

No. I can barely palm a tennis ball. You have normal fucking man hands. My shit's little. Yeah, same. Yeah, I never feel good on a date doing this over the candle, being like, yeah. Dude, the last date I was on, the girl was like, oh, my God, your hands. I shit is little. Yeah, I never feel good on a date doing this over the candle being like, yeah. Dude, the last date I was on, the girl was like, oh my God, your hands. I told you.

Oh God, your hands are so cute. And then we did it and I fucking scooted up. I don't lie about my height and weight and abs, but I be scooting. You said that that mom have handfuls. Oh, wow. That's disrespectful of your mom

That's great That's why I don't like fake tits Implants, I feel like I'm rock climbing These things are too big out there Because I got little hands And you just feel like Don't change the subject From the fact that you called your mom

Little titty That's disrespectful She would agree We would never My mom got little tits No I mean, you Little titty big heart though

Huh? Little titty big heart though She's a lover Oh, okay My mom got little t Little titty big heart, though. Huh? Little titty big heart, though. She's a lover. Oh, okay. Great chef. My mom got little tits and a big heart. I got a great heart. Nice bead tits. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. That's crazy. He's drinking water in both these cups. I'm not even drunk. I'm not even drunk. Yo, Bob, I'm high, dude. Come join me. You don't think I'm drunk?

I'm two inches deep. Kev, get over here'm high, dude. Come join me. You don't think I'm drunk? I'm two inches deep. Kev, get over here and suck my dick. That's a fire podcast. If you just say get and suck my dick. That's literally plug talk. Yeah, I know. Do you think any team has ever canceled on plug talk and just look around the studio like,

which one of you PA is trying to get this work? Yes. I can't believe that's a real show. God, that's the best. Crazy. That's what I want so bad. I can't believe that's a real show. Crazy. God, that's the best. Crazy. That's what I want so bad. I can't believe the show that we do is a real show. Like, you guys, fuck.

I know you fucked this boy. We don't fuck. It's the bullshit. I've never hooked. I hooked up with one of our guests, but I didn't have sex. There we go. See? We just didn't have sex.

You hooked up with one guest? One guest. Now we're finally. You did. Yeah. You didn't have sex? Now I'm getting some shirt. You said what?

You didn't have sex? No. What'd you do? Just made out. It was just like a casual. Yeah, white people. You were filming have sex. You're a handsome shirt. You said what? You didn't have sex? No. What'd you do? Just made out. It was just like a casual. You were filming a podcast when you were 13 years old? But that's what I was saying. I was like, what's going on here?

So now if he just hooked up, what do you think this guy's doing? Like that's what I'm saying. Sucking on toes, dog. You've never hooked up on a podcast? Not one time, man. Dude, he has weird dick discipline, I'm telling you. When he's in a relationship, I can see him not fucking. That word discipline is very separate from it all.

It's like, they all come over, we have a great time, we laugh it off. It's very business. Like, all right, take care. We'll send the clips to you. You do Dropbox or WeTransfer. Have any of them tried to get at you? That has to have happened. So let me.

Because you had some baddies on there. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So there's one lady on the podcast that should remain nameless that I actually shot my shot recently. Reap it. And we had a whole back and forth, and then she just stopped responding. Oh, wow. God, I love her so much.

Can you say the name and we bleep it out? I think I know who it is. Yeah. Can you bleep it out? Miles, mark this. Absolutely. I'll call you DM Derry and be like, yo, don't respond to that. Can you leave it out?

Miles, mark this. Absolutely. I'll call you DM, Derry. Be like, yo, don't respond to that. Well, that'd be so good. Don't even thumbs up that shit. Oh, my God. That is going to haunt you for life. Oh, my God.

It's so fucking funny. Yeah, just bleep it. Al, look it up. No, no. We have to get like. These are like fucking lukewarm pictures at best. Yo, just... Hey, hey, dude, whoever's controlling the thing,

just go to her Instagram, please. Because these are crazy pictures. It's like you're not representing the girl that I didn't get right. Yeah, you're not representing the girl that I didn't get right. See, awesome. That's a good guy, dude.

Yeah, yeah. Would you ever be the guy in the videos if you never had to show a face? Yes. Really? Yes, 100%. Really? Dude, it's so on-brand. Yeah, I had a friend do that and somebody recognized him you'd never show face? Yes, yes, I'm Sam really dude It's so I don't friend you that's what you're gonna want brand for me. That isn't even fucking a man I was in the voice one of my buddies. I got recognized like yo, is this so-and-so comes from the boys?

Damn it god fuck. Yeah A little weird that he did right now. God damn it. God fuck! Yeah. He's got a slight impact about him. Look at that. Oh, my God. That is the biggest compliment. When people tattoo your face on him. That is crazy.

I mean, that's... What kind of human being? Fuck everybody. Okay. God damn it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, all due respect, please let me... Never mind. Just DM my band back.

Was it left on read or just no response? Who got better... Oh. Who got better tits, her or your mom? My mom. Yeah. They're just more nocturnal. Nocturnal?

Nocturnal? Nocturnal? That's not the word I wanted. What are you looking for, dude? I don't know. You have a lot of... What's it called? Igloo not the word I wanted. What are you looking for, dude? I don't know. You have a lot of, what's it called? Igloo Brothers? Not Igloo.

Eskimo Bros? Eskimo Bros, yes. Oh, I found out that I'm Eskimo Bros with Johnny Sins. That was pretty cool. Let's go. That's the man right there. Who is the girl? Are we not?

We're not Eskimo Bros on anything, huh? That's very interesting. That's what you think? Hey! My mom? I have no idea. I don't have no idea i don't think so i don't like to be there wow i'm asking my brother that's actually your friend like my buddy yeah like it's crazy you guys just like it's switch circles it's just crazy and but never obviously never on purpose but literally four differently and it's crazy and he's like he's his like really good

friend i know him obviously but like not super well and it's just we found out the four he's got the same type yeah exactly the same type my mom

has your mom ever heard you say any of these things nah cause she came to a show and did you do any of the bits did not I have six minutes

on how I want to fuck my mom a whole bit really a whole bit that's a whole Colbert set right there yeah and she that's crazy want to fuck my mom. A whole bit. Really? A whole bit. That's a whole Colbert set right there. Yeah.

And she- That's crazy and creepy. And my mom came to a show for the first time. She's never seen me do stand-up. I didn't tell you this. She's never seen me do stand-up one time. And she thinks Blau's like the sweetest, most innocent kid.

It's so funny. Yeah. I'm not. And she came to one of the shows and there's a whole bit that I do that I obviously didn't do, but I did it in the special but I did it in the special. I did it in the special.

Oh, my God, dude. Yeah. That's going to be very uncomfortable. No, it's fine. It's not. No, but you do all the sex shit in front of her. Does she know that you're out here? Because I always thought she thought you were just like the most innocent kid.

I mean, I did the whole set minus that bit in front of her. So she knows you're. She knows. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She listens to the podcast. She knows how much. Oh, she's not listening to the podcast. You know, I did the whole set minus that bit in front of her. So she knows you're She knows. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. She listens to the podcast. She knows how much I love you. No, she's not listening to the podcast. She's not listening to the podcast. His mom is the sweetest. She's the sweetest woman in the world. But here's the funny thing, man.

I think all of our parents act like they're super sweet. They done coke off any, you know what I mean? I know that you think your mom is sweet, but they yeah, but they've done so much. My mom is from an Indian family that was so sheltering that she, maybe after marriage, they'd her and my dad party, but not that I know of, but definitely nothing when she was younger.

And she lived at home through college. I was made on cocaine. You know her story? It's crazy. And my mom would act like she's never done anything. Was it Thanksgiving? It was Thanksgiving at my grandma's house. They were both, my dad and my mom, did a ton of cocaine.

Cocaine on Thanksgiving. Wow. I know. With the tryptophan? Yeah, that's crazy. Oh, yeah. So you're just livid. You were just sober.

Yeah. And they fucked and made me. And I know that because my dad told me. But my mom is like, oh, my God, I'm just so. No, you're not innocent. You got fucking nice, perfect tits. And you done coke before I was born. And I might be a cop. We make fun of our mom's tits, and you've done coke before I was born. And I might be a cuck.

We make fun of our mom's tits, but this is crazy. I'm uncomfortable. The six minute bit on how I fuck my mom is where I drew the line. But I do want to see your mom's tits. Yeah, I'll show you. Can you imagine if I had a hella nude to my mom on my phone?

Nah, the bit is better if you don't know. Oh yeah? Okay. Imagine you see her and then you don't know. Oh yeah? Okay. Yeah, I mean, because imagine you see her and then you don't think they're perfect. Yeah.

Then it's not funny anymore. Yeah. They gotta be envisioning perfect tits. I've seen them, they are. Yeah, there you go.

Yeah. It's the same thing like how they didn't show Jaws for the whole fucking 45 minutes of the movie. Because in your head,

Jaws is way scarier than it actually is. You know what I mean? Yeah, it is smart. Yeah, that's a real story. He was at a premiere in Dallas with the

shark and he was like, this is so bad. I have to cut around this. It's fucking embarrassing. So they just made, they just showed the fin the whole time. Really? Yeah. Autos, what's your favorite position? Bro, what position are you going to let me do this in? Huh? I mean, what position are we doing this in?

It's my wife, so I feel weird saying her favorite position. You see what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, 100%. I have to. Kama Sutra. Oh, right. Yeah. What's your favorite position, Al?

I've gotten lazy over the years, so I think I'm like Schultz. On my back, it's kind of nice. Oh, really? Yeah. Damn. Dude, on my back, I come hella fast. No, but on my back, my girl comes all the time. Really? Dude, on my back, I come hella fast. No, but on my back, my girl comes all the time. Really?

Yeah. I don't have to do any work. That's wild to talk about your fiance like that, bro. No, it's not. I like it. No, it's not. I respect it. I mean, that's good.

I make my fucking wife come all the time. True. That's what's up. I don't have to do any work, which is great. Maybe I'm just jealous. See what it is? I'm just jealous. That any work, which is great. Maybe I'm just jealous. See, what it is is I'm just jealous. That's beautiful, man.

Did it take you a while to figure out the cum sequence? Or you guys kind of... No, we had great sexual chemistry immediately. That's the fucking best. Immediately. And it's fucking awesome. And so now I just know, like, when I get tired, I was like, okay, I know how to get you there. Yeah.

You're done. Now I'm done. God, that sequence was the best, dude. Get her off. Then you can you there. Yeah. You're done. Now I'm done. God, that sequence was the best, dude. Get her off. Then you can just come. Yeah. That's the best. You're not going to think about baseball, nothing.

Nothing. You're not going to pinch yourself. Nah, it's perfect. Nothing, dude. With the porn star, were you super focused on not coming? The funny thing is, dude, I was like, I lasted. I didn't have to do anything weird. I don't know why. With that chemistry.

You said you guys were hanging out and riffing a little bit. Yeah, there was a lot of sexual porn. You need to do porn, bro. He makes too much money not doing porn to do porn. Yeah, it'd be kind of weird for me to do. Here's the thing. If I started OnlyFans, I will rack out. That's what I'm saying. Imagine. You could just be like the Adam 22

of comedy. Doesn't Tiger out here with OnlyFans and still rapping? The saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, imagine. You could just be like the Adam 22 of comedy. Doesn't Tiger's out here with OnlyFans answer rapping? The funny thing is, it kind of does fit my brain where it wouldn't do anything. It wouldn't fuck you up in any way. If you're not trying to be out in Hollywood and on TV and movies and shit like that, this just, it helps your brain. Well, I got something to do. Your honor, a podcast called Stiff Socks. Yeah.

It's good. Let me call my assistant. That's a valid point. Yeah. That's a valid point. Yeah. I'm high. Let me call my assistant. That's a valid point. Yeah. That's a valid point. Yeah. I'm high. I'm the only one high.

You are so high. I'm the only one high. Everybody else is over. He has a glimmer in his eye. Yeah, he does. That shit is beautiful. Does that look happy I'm high? No, it's beautiful, actually.

It is. I'm like, I see what your wife, I see what she saw. Thanks. You have a nice Buddha energy right now. It's nice and caramello. Dude, weed is great for me. Huh? Weed is great for me.

It's a de-stressor. I like it. Do you sleep better with weed? Do you smoke to sleep? No. Usually, I will do it sometimes, and it doesn't help a ton. How would you sleep? Because I know you were sleeping like shit.

It's gotten better. It's still not good, but it's not as bad. Have you done a sleep study yet? No. What are you talking about? You haven't done a sleep study yet? That's like a time commitment. You know what I mean?

All his relatives are doctors, and he won't do a fucking sleep study. It's crazy. What are you going to do, prescribe me Ambien? I don't want to take that shit. No, you don't have to do Ambien. Just see what's happening. But then what do they do with those results? Yeah.

What if the results just said jerk off? I do that before going to bed. It doesn't help. You don't sleep well either? I don't sleep well. I don't sleep well either? I don't sleep well. I don't sleep well either. I never sleep well in hotels. It's terrible.

It's the worst. That's another reason I slept so poorly last year. When I'm traveling, I think I'm going to sleep well because I can black out the curtains and sleep in as much as I want to and the whole bed is mine. But I sleep terribly in hotels all the time. Just pillow's made out of BBL. You can have sleep apnea and not know it. Yeah.

Can I suggest something? The pillow you have at your house, do you like it? Yeah. Okay, so my suggestion, which I've been sort of doing, is I doubled the pillow, so I just brought the pillow now with me on the road, so at least I have something, like some comfort from home. I've actually thought about this.

I take two-eighths of a vape pen, jerk my dick. I don't think it's the pillow. I think it's the weed in the cup. Jerk it, and then this pillow in the cup. I'm so homosexual I was like, you know, I've been thinking about this. He's like, I have five flashlights of my favorite porn stars. I pick which one I want tonight.

What I'm saying is all the comforts from home, so you have the pillow, which I think helps. Two hits of the vape pen, jerk your dick into oblivion and then wipe up and go to sleep. I think all of it has been helping me. I'm just saying what helps me. Where do you put the pillow on the flight?

Are you just holding it under your arm? I put it in the fucking, what's it called, suitcase. Is it a carry-on? No, if I'm traveling, I usually carry it. I have like a merch bag that's full of shit, so I can just check it. Don't you guys wear the same outfit every night you perform? I do. I don't. Really? Yeah. Because if I want it, let's say I'm working on a bit and I add just check it. Don't you guys wear the same outfit every night you perform? I do. I don't.

Really? Yeah. Because if I want it, let's say I'm working on a bit and I add something to it, the next show, I'm wearing the same outfit so I can just cut.

Oh, but have you ever posted a clip clip? I've been doing so much crowd work, but there was a bit we posted early on, a horizontal video where I was at a comedy club, thought of something like after the show, and I was like, Kev, this is where I had the idea.

And probably other people have had it. But for me, I was like, oh, I'm going to put that in tomorrow and see if anything new comes. I'm wearing the same clothes. And when we make this a bit, add that part to the bit. It's when you're writing on stage, especially. It was like a thing I was writing on stage about the city or something, but it was coming out as a bit. Okay. It was all just coming out in bit form.

You know what I mean? And I was like, oh, this is a video if I wanted to be. Next day, I thought of something. I was like, hey, I'm adding that. Put that in. That makes sense. I'm not going to do this until I come back to the city. So there's no chance to do it for two years. Yeah. Only to get so good. And then I was like, why don't I just do that all the time? It makes sense.

Different undershirt. Also, it's easy. You don't have to think about anything. Yeah. Oh, yeah. You're done. That's my outfit for the weekend. You're comfortable, bro. I'm good, yo. I'm good. You're comfortable. The only thing I'm missing

is my old pillow and a fucking vape pen and jerkin' on it. I ain't doing it for you. What's your goals, dude? Get a little therapeutic over here. So, we got to switch sheets, too. What's your goals, man?

You know what I mean? Yo, Al, don't let Al shit on you for sitting vulnerably. You got fucking nail polish on. I'm so tired of these people. That's how confident I am. That's how confident I am. You ever lose one of those in your wife's foot?

God damn. What? I like that slide. No, there's gel. Gel stays on. Oh, gel stays on. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

All right. I'm not a cheapo. Respectfully. I'm just interested. I'm getting a little drunk. No, I like it. It's fine. Keep shooting.

Keep shooting. I don't know if my sentences are coming out completely at all. Nah, you're talking like me now. Nah, I'm not, man. That's how I talk on the regular. So what are your goals, man? Where y'all at? Y'all sober? Me? We got a nice little buzz going. My shit buzz good. Buzz like a motherfucker.

That's not enough, dude. Bumblebee ass. Alright, what are we supposed to do? Shotgun a four local right now? Do it. Run into a Kmart? You got one? We got a four local. You got a four local on deck? Come on. What the fuck? We have a bunch of 18-year-old interns in this place. Hey, let's get four. Let's get these guys in fouros and see what the fuck happens.

Let's do it. I'm fucking ready. Would you actually take it? I'll sip on a loco. Are you kidding me? Yo, we got to do a fucking Patreon. I thought you were going to pull some shit under the couch. This is going to be the best Patreon ever. Alright guys, we're going to take a break real quick because you need to know about keeps. Look, this is not something I have

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Yeah, dude, these people who do like 200 is nuts. I don't want to get there either. That's why I try not to do it. I've done it. I did it last week and this week, and even that for me is like. Do you find any creativeness out of it or you just like the feeling of it? I don't get creativity. You know what I love? Really?

That feeling when, and we can roll if we want. Are we rolling? You can, whatever you need to do, Al. But that feeling where you feel like you're detached from your body a little bit. Okay. I love that. I feel like so not stressed. I love that feeling.

I love just riffing with the homies when we all smoke, we're all taking edible. That's like my favorite. You feel like everybody's on the same wavelength. Oh, see, I don't love. Thank you. Thank you. I did comedy high one time on 420 in Denverver i'm probably going back but the crowd was high yeah no they were sober i was high and i did a set and i didn't love it because you're like you're a

little slower when you're thinking about bits i would stumble over words here and there of course of course crazy i made one glaring fuck up you're almost on like autopilot like your brain is so locked and you know what you're doing but like with weed you're like oh wait dude that's what was killing me. I would be like, focus, you've got this. My brain would just drift. I'd be like, because I hate when I'm not present in the room.

That's that shit. God, man. I'll turn your mic on. This is alcohol and caffeine, right? Alcohol and caffeine, and then you just fight a Walmart greeter. Pretty cool. People do Red Bull vodka. Sorry, why is that crazier? They took the caffeine out. right alcohol and caffeine and then you just fight a walmart greeter pretty cool um but people do red bull vodka sorry why is that crazier uh they took the caffeine out the og ones were like some

insane amount of caffeine recipe and the og ones i mean you could start a fucking hemi with those boys those things are crazy the og was like a five hour energy yeah in that yeah yeah dude my buddy makes just like ratchet once he pours a five hour in these yeah and it's just like wait he pours a five-hour on these. Yeah. And it's just like— Wait, he pours a five-hour in— Because he wants to make the OG for a loco. Oh, my God. Yeah, he's looking to get arrested. Yeah.

But yeah, I mean, they're like four bucks. So you could go— When I had a fake ID, I had a Florida fake ID. All my homies and I got one. And we'd just buy these because it'd be like $3.99. And then one of these with the OG, with the caffeine in it, that's all you'd need. You got a five-hour under journey? All right, so good.

Bro, you pour that in here. I was going to say we could pour that in there. Y'all get fucking nuts. Give me to the Capitol. We doing shit tonight. Where's Nancy Pelosi's desk at? What?

I shit on it. Can I taste it? Oh, I see. You never have one? I have. Dude, I used to have one of these and fuck a weird woman that used to light

her entire apartment in just red. I used to call her the devil bitch. a weird woman that used to light her entire apartment in just red. I used to call her the devil bitch. It's kind of hot, though. Devil bitch. Dude, I don't even remember her name. Just Chase Bod with this. No, pour that in there.

You want some of this? I was getting in there, dude. But yeah, high shows. There used to be a show in L.A. at a dispensary. Oh, once was? Yeah. I was getting in there, dude. But yeah, high shows. There used to be a show in LA at a dispensary. Oh, I've heard about this. And when I would smoke, I wouldn't do it a lot, but in the crowd was high.

I kind of liked it if everyone was high because I feel like you could spitball a crazy premise and they'd be like, oh, I get that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it felt like very workshoppy,

but like fun. Okay. Like you could just spit out half a premise. Yeah, I don't feel that creativity thing, I don't think. Maybe because I typically do Indicaica i think this is a hybrid sativa is more like acting more like you're up but i think i've taken that once or twice and i still wasn't i didn't

feel like super sativa's kind of weird because you're just laying in bed you're trying to go to sleep but you're just freaking on one before i what did the show i did five milligrams sativa and then on stage midway through my set i was like let's just take another two and a half because it's a 420 show. I brought y'all here, Sanam again. Let me get fucking, let's go. And then at the end of my show, we do like a little panel where the other comics come up

and we do a question and answer. Then I was free as fuck. I think I was more funny because they get to do most of the talking. And then I just chime in every once in a while with like a crazy sentence. And now we're having fun. But carrying, having conversations, this right now, all my focus.

I'm focusing like it's my special. Yeah, I was in Chicago and somebody handed me a joint with like maybe five minutes at the Vic on stage. Go smoke this, smoke this. Everybody's chanting. Just like a thousand people, smoke it, smoke it. I am losing my mind. Five minutes in, I go, the rest of the set is fucked. But like the last five minutes, before it's last bit, I'll do it.

And I probably took like three hits or whatever and i was like oh this we're in yeah and i was like i gotta finish this fucking bit yeah i was so nervous yeah i like lit the back end at first i'm so nervous smoking on papers but i got through the bit but by the time i got back to my parents about this show funny is enough enough, I'm talking to my parents afterwards, I'm like a little high, and I'm like, uh, did you see the show? Did you see the show?

I don't smoke a lot, but when I do, I'll get affected by just a little bit. I do not want to smoke this. But that clip did great. I have never wrote one idea that was remotely good when I was high. Ever. Yeah.

I can't. You know how people smoke like, oh, so creative. I don't feel that. Zero. No, but sober, you're kind of on 10 already. Correct. Yeah, I think that's what it is. But yeah, when I'm high, there's nothing.

I can't. Nothing. I don't know how to like harness funny when I'm high. I don't either. Do you get that? I write some stuff down high, definitely. Especially when i'm riffing with like just like the homework or something yeah that's what you're saying like animal planet or some shit but yo you never think about that you know just like random shit like that but then i look at it the next day and be

like i don't know if that's a full baked out premise there yeah you know it never makes any sense no no what's your favorite animal for reason, koala just came into my head. Koala's are cool. They're just so happy. They're so chill. I'm going to Australia next week, October 25th at 30. TrevorWalshColumbia.com, Sydney Brisbane, all the other boys. Tickets are, could be better.

Hey, listen, we'll sell it out. We'll get there. TrevorWalshColumbia.com. Could it out. We'll get there. Troublescalling.com. Could be better. I like the honesty. I love that. It's like when people go, new tickets added.

No, they ain't. They've been there. Low tickets. No, they're not. Yo, I love seeing the strategy people use to sell tickets. It's great. I won't point them all out

because y'all might use them, but the shit is so funny. There's nobody pettier than comics, too. People post links. Half the people clicking are comics being like, how many tickets he's sold? How many tickets he's sold in Lubbock, Texas? I don't think I do that. No, I'll see if they've sold out sometimes. I was thinking

you could count the tickets, and I was like, I don't know about that. But sometimes I will. He doesn't show you how many seats are left. I don't know that. But yeah, the tickets and I was like, I don't know about that. But like theaters? But sometimes I will. Theaters will show you how many seats are left. Oh, see, I don't know that. But I, yeah, the people that I'm like, I love them, most of them, but I'm competitive with them. Right, right. I know they're competitive. Oh, that's a big market.

Oh, they're doing that? Okay, that's where I want to get. People do that to me all the time probably. Like, this guy's doing that? I have no problem with, us being competitive is great. We should all be competitive. Of course, of course. When we're like doing shitty things, that's when it bothers me.

Right. Like when you're doing that. You know what I mean? You're a horrible best friend of yours. Yes, and. I'm a good improv. What a great story. And I never put it out. If I was a piece of shit, that's 5 million

views back then. Oh my God, that would have been his biggest clip. Yeah, that would have been his biggest clip ever. That would be my biggest clip to date. Wow. I think you should clip it once this episode comes out. But preface it up front. Be like, I fucking crush.

And then play that. I could never. Also, why is that video so embarrassing when you have a YouTube video called How to Kiss? You know what I mean? I would rather have 19 How to Kisses, which is a true fact, than put that out. You have 19? Oh, dude. There's probably 20 of them.

And they all did. A limber. You know why? Because, dude, there's probably 20 of them, and they all did a limber. You know why? Because your boy can kiss. I'm not familiar. You have a video, how to kiss. How to kiss. There's probably, I'm not joking, there's probably 20 videos, and they have all done over.

It's not like his channel. Like a company hired him to do it. Who hired you to do this? What was the casting process? Sounds very me too-y. Make out with this papaya. Sex ad type shit? They didn't even ask me anything.

They called me and they were like, hey, do you want to do this? I said yes. Like, there was no... Who's your agent? But this was early. It was early.

I didn't have an agent. This is before I even met him. He filmed this video, I think. Yeah. I think. Yeah. Can we pull that up, Kev? No.

Why the fuck are we putting up? How do you get on list? Oh, yo, you took that, dog. I fuck bitches. That was kind of, hey, watch this. Oh, shit. Son, you look more like James Franco even then right here. That's the most we ever played.

Oh, that was the most grossest. Look at that fucking tricep, dude. Yo, camera weren't killing it. Look at the zooms and shit. Hell yeah. She's wet. Oh, she's in, dude. She's all in.

I'm wet. And then you turn away from it. Yeah, I can't you turn away from it. Yeah. I can't give her all to it. But one of them has like 50 mil. How many million views do they have? 6.8 million. So many have so many.

The top right one got like 34 mil. Sorry. I wish you could have plugged tour dates at the end of that. That'd be so cool. Me too. God damn it. Okay. I'm so fucking confused.

This happened so long ago. Some company, Howcast, hit me up, and they were like, you can be the comedic relief of these kissing videos. In my head, I was like, oh, cool. I was just like, they'll do the demonstration, and I'll riff, whatever. And then when I got to the fucking studio, it was that. And I was already there. And I was young in the game.

I didn't have the skill set to be like, yeah, this is not for me but you didn't have anybody to run it past you know like manager or agent correct oh it's a day where i get to make out with somebody correct it's a great gig so when i got yeah so when i got there i tried to like say some funny shit here or there but i mean it was literally just me doing that for the entire fucking time so it's just multiple takes so you make out with a girl and then you try to give them one liner and then that didn't work it's like everything they cut everything huh they can you kiss the same girl yeah well i mean you want them to cut you don't want to give the bad kisses no i'm saying cut like i would say something i would try to like implement some type of funny and they were just like okay cool and then in the edit there was no fucking

funny yeah it was all just me being like yeah so sometimes when you're in the locker room you gotta just kiss the girl blah blah blah and you just kiss and, there was no fucking funny. It was all just me being like, yeah, so sometimes in your locker room, you gotta just kiss the girl, blah, blah, blah, and then you just kiss and whatever. It was fucking horrible. I literally had to, I had a lawyer reach out to them

to take my name off of it because when you search my name, 19 of his videos would come up and not my website. Dude, I found, it was horrible. You gotta run some targeted ads against that. Yeah, I mean, horny 16-year-olds at your shows being like, I found... It was horrible. You got to run some targeted ads again, Seth.

Yeah, I mean... You got to run some horny 16-year-olds in your shows being like, see, you told me I had a kiss. Not now. Dude, still to this day in the meet and greet, people come up to me like, so, I was your first fan and not a stand-up.

I was like, what, from the HowCats? Like, yes, from the HowCats. And they would just walk away. Kind of cool. Yeah, they don't want to get kissed, these girls. They don't want to get kissed. I mean, dude, when women hit on me in the meetcats, and they would just walk away. That's kind of cool. They don't want to get kissed, these girls. They don't want to get kissed. I mean, dude, when women hit on me in the meet and greet, it's so weird to me.

I don't know what the fuck to do. What do you do? I'm like, Phil, thank you. Handshake and I leave. If you're telling me I'm good looking, you're a dude. I try not to. Try not to is great. What did you ask? I asked him if he fucked fans. He's like, I try not to.

Oh, that is so good. See, now you're being rude. I'm still waiting for your real answer. At least he said he hooked up with one porn star. I'm still waiting for your real answer about your guest at a party. It's fine. It's fine. I've never.

That part's true. I've never. I know you haven't memorized it. I've never. It's fine. It's good. It's good. It's fine. No, he shot his shot at that one, and then it didn't work out I'm never It's fine It's good It's good It's fine

No he shot his shot at that one And then it didn't work out Yeah he's fucked But who shot their shot at you? From a guest on the show? Yeah No one Dude I'm telling you man

Like I would be the Listen I told I'm a cuck I told my fuck my mom You guys don't think I would say I did this? You haven't seen The genitals of anybody

In your podcast Cause I know that For a fact Zero genitals of anybody in your podcast, because I know that for a fact. Zero generals. Besides Trav's? Zero. Absolutely. That's a lie. Wow. I know this. I know this. You've seen Bobby Lee's dick? I haven't. Have you seen Bobby Lee's dick? I have not.

He whipped it out. I've seen Bobby Lee's dick. I haven't. Me too. I avoided it the whole episode I did with him, and then he sent it to me on text. Which is actually kind of funny when you think about it. It's hilarious. Yeah, but at the time I was like,

hey, nobody want to see this. But I know you've seen Bobby Lee's dick. He makes sure you see it. Sure I have not. Then maybe Bobby Lee don't like you and that's something else to analyze. He turned and whipped him out in front of us. Did he?

Whipped out. That was crazy for Bobby. It was... Yeah. All right. But Bobby knows that. He's packing. No, he's not. He's a great was... Yeah. All right. But Bobby knows that. He's packing. No, he's not. He's a great guy.

I haven't. I haven't. You were sitting next to me. All right. No, Bobby Lee. Wait. What happened after that you had to channel that out? It's a traumatic experience. So Bobby Lee's for sure, but I'm talking about for female guests, never. I've never heard about female guests. Actually, let me take least for sure. But like for, I'm talking about like for like female guests, never. I've never heard about a female guest. Actually, let me take this step back.

Okay. There was one Patreon where, I'll let you go for it. There was a Patreon episode that it was essentially like, let me, because, you know, sometimes during the podcast, I talk a big game. So essentially we're like. Sometimes. Hold up. So we brought a lady on that that have fornications with to essentially

it's also like pandemic time for like but like he was constantly hooking up with zero like pretty steady and then like jokingly we like mentioned that and and i think she reached out i was like i would do it yeah and then she came on and she backed you for a lot of it yeah and then she was like oh she told me that i i she would would love if I went down on her more. Oh, yeah. That's hilarious. Yeah. And I like a good go down, but sometimes I don't.

Do you like a good go down? With my wife, yes, I do. I don't like this. Can y'all be more single? That's fucking stupid. Nah. Cam's fucking married. Back in the day, it's like, nah.

If there was no romantic connection, I would never. Don't know if you've been playing tennis. Who knows what you've been doing? You know, you can taste it. That's true. Wilson? But I will say, recently, in the last maybe year, I've been going down. What the fuck? Really? And I been going down. What the fuck?

Really? And I'm going down under Australia, October 21st. But on one night stands? Yeah. That's a little wild. That's a little crazy, bro. To just meet. You trying to get some bumps on your lips?

You're one mojito deep and you're like, what else? Yeah, I have. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have. Lickety lick. Hey, come over here. He's trying to build a reputation out in the city. He's like, let him know.

Let him know. You're building back from what she said. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. I see. Okay. Right. It's like nobody works out legs more than somebody who goes, yo, you skipped leg day?

That guy hitting legs in the gym the next day. A hundred percent. So that girl being like, you don't eat it. What's up with these New York hoes? Anybody know? I've heard. They're flocking everywhere. Flip, you don't eat it. What's up with these New York hoes? Anybody know? I've heard. They're flocking everywhere. Flip, flip, flop, flop. Every street corner. Crazy. Live riot. New York is so slept on.

Love it. New York women are way hotter than LA women. I completely agree. Dude, I'm fixing for the city. I might move it. Thank you. Oh, man. Let me slap those dainty-ass hands of yours. Shut the fuck up. You were dapping. Oh, shit. It's slap those dainty-ass hands of yours. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. It's like you were dapping. I'm like, oh, shit.

It's all good. It's all good. It's all good. Oh, my God. It's all good. It's all good. Let's keep the fuck going. All right.

Damn, man. Something about New York chicks. That's how wet I get. All right. Did you finish that sentence? Something about New York chicks. I was also all confident. Walk that walk.

Yeah. And you're like, you can spit on me and I'll be like, about time. Yeah. New York girls, I think, are hotter than LA. I think if you're into white women, maybe LA is more. Even though they got hot Latinas out there, but they got them here, too. Yeah, but New York, I mean, LA, they try too hard. They are like trying to be seen.

They're trying to like, they're walking out in the most skimpiest shit. The Soho models are trying hard as fuck. I still love LA women. They kind of just look fly. We've all traveled this country. Yeah, and New York is the best. We probably walked, what, like seven blocks to get here? And each block, Michael Arnbeck, yo, yo, yo. It's insane.

You know a city I was impressed by, and I guess I'd always heard it when I was in college? Cincinnati. Never. Oh, all right. I actually never performed in Cincinnati. He must have had a nice one in Cincinnati. I never performed in Cincinnati. I got a hot cousin from Cincinnati, though. Dude. Oh, I actually never performed in Cincinnati. He must have had a nice one in Cincinnati. I never performed in Cincinnati. I got a hot cousin

from Cincinnati though. Dude. What the fuck? Oh, good save, good save. Oh yeah, nah,

his cousin just cut out. Yeah. Like, he would turn you and you're a ready turn, but he would go 360. You go back normal and right back to it.

He met him at my wedding. He was one of my groomsmen with you. Back. So yeah, yeah, he's a hot ticazzi. Yeah.

Yeah. But that's the only hot person I've seen. Take those fancy fingernails and throw it in there. He might get one. He can get one. He deserves it.

He can get one. He can get one. Austin. Oh, Austin's good. Really hot girls and I notice they're often with really unattractive guys. I'm out.

It's too hot there. He's been with one woman in his life. He don't get it. Austin. No, Austin don't got it. No, when was the last time you were there? I'm there. He don't get it. Austin don't got it. When was the last time you were there? I'm there.

They don't got it like that. Dude, we did a show. What was it? March? No, June was last year. And I would see beautiful girls with just like troll men. And I was like,

this, I would have been king here. This is my kind of city. This is my kind of land. A lot of that in like the midwest too yeah you know who got hosed? Madison Wisconsin?

someone please back me up here Madison, Wisconsin? Madison, Wisconsin got hosed I mean all college towns someone please back me up here it's a college town it's like underneath the parkers

and all these coats and shit like that yeah there's a bag I don't know I've never seen any college town like Ann Arbor, Madison, Big 12 schools, Big 10 schools. Yeah. Not San Jose State.

I'll take that much. He likes fives, though. He goes for it. Do you like fives? What the fuck did Al say? I didn't hear him. He said it. He said you like fives.

Fuck you, Al. We have a conversion scale. Miles, you just reduce the number in half. So a mile's 10 is a five. That's so shitty. But what's an example? Can you put like, who's your 10?

I never call a girl a Miles 10. How about you tell us a Miles 10? Also, I never call a girl a Miles 10. That's Mark's term. So let's be honest. And when you're going to say she, you want to say it to him one time. Are we saying like a famous person?

No, no, no. Like just, you know, semi-famous so they can understand it. Or like a photo we can see or something. Yeah, yeah. Fuck, I don't actually know. Say Roseanne Barr. Nah, like the chick from Harry Potter.

That's like a 10 for you, right? Hermione's hot. She's so hot. No, but that's not a 10. Oh, that's not a 10, but she's bad as fuck. But that's a 10 for him. She's a very pretty girl. She's gorgeous.

That's what I'm saying. So that's why he has a different skin. Everybody said she's and you're just like, no, that's a better example out there. No.

Is she a 10? No. Is she a 10? I love all women. Yeah. Thank you. She's hot. Thank you.

I think she's gorgeous. No, she's gorgeous. She's gorgeous, but she's not a 10. Yeah, but I'm like a 6, so who am I to be like, that's not a 10. That's true.

A man? That's not true. First of all, you're not a 6, so who am I to be like, that's not a 10. That's true. A man? That's not true. First of all, you're not a 6, man. I hate when you talk like that. And you're rich. But that's the way pretty men do that.

And you're rich, dude. Yeah, I can't say the last word, but yeah. Nah, they do that. It's like I'm pretty, so I got to like say I'm more than one. Where do you think you're at?

Bruh. 6, 7. If you had no success, 4? 4. Oh, Jesus Christ I'm asking Like how broke am I

You make $30,000 a year You work at fucking GameStop Nobody's a 10 Cricket wireless Actually some dudes are a 10 But most dudes are not If you're not fucking gorgeous That's also true

Huh No that's true Maul trying to get our attention To get it Oh yeah I was going for the 10 Oh my I was going for the 10 Okay I get my bad. I was going for the 10. Okay, I get it.

Yeah, but if you're not a 10 as a dude who's broke, you're a 4. See what I'm saying? I hear you, but there are... If you're gorgeous, it don't matter

how much money you make. You could fuck for a home. Yeah, like prison bae got a fucking billionaire just because he was that. If you're that level, it don't matter. But if you're just like

a good-looking guy and you're broke, it don't't matter. But if you're just like a good-looking guy and you're broke, it don't fucking matter. You're not good-looking to these girls. If you're gorgeous, it don't matter at all. It is interesting because it's very age-appropriate. So if you're like hot, but you don't have an ancient... If you have an ancient job, but you're hot,

if you're like 22, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. But once you're like 30, if you're hot and you have an ancient job, that hotness starts to wear thin very fast. Same for a woman. Huh?

Same for a woman? What does that mean? What do you mean? If a woman is broke, you don't find her hot? That's the gayest thing you've ever said on this podcast and you have pain in the nails right now. I mean, yeah. No, I'm staying on that. Yeah. If you're 30 and you're hot but you have shit going for you you're less attractive than a 22 year old who's hot and doesn't have shit you know what yes i was so off board but i'm back on board there you go yeah that makes sense i'm glad i stood on that i didn't feel

confident i didn't feel confident about it specifically money i was like no that's crazy nah you only got shit going for yourself and you're 30, but you're still hot, it's like, eh. Yeah, you're just some dumb, useless bitch. Maybe you're 22 and you don't have shit going for you. I expect you not to have shit going for you. Yeah, you're trying to figure out life. At 30, there's nothing going on.

It's like, crazy fuck. What are you doing? Yeah. Nah, I'm with you. You got three cats? Yo, dude. If a woman gets a cat and she's single, I start looking at her like,

it's going bad for you, huh? That's me. That's me. I'm a single man with a cat. You're a man. That's just gay. That's just super fucking gay. I mean, you see the corny one.

You see what it is. They're in the Hollywood ecosystem. Wildly homosexual to be a single man with a cat. Okay, if it makes it any better, I had a girlfriend. We got the cat together. Broke up. Then I got joint. I got the custody of the cat. Okay, if it makes it any better, I had a girlfriend. We got the cat together. Broke up. Then I got joint. I got the custody of the cat.

She took everything else. But I got the cat. You started with joint and then all of a sudden now it's just yours. Nah, he mine. He mine. So you wanted that.

You fought for that. That's crazy. It was a present to me. That's crazy, but here's your Christmas gift. Mine now, bitch. That's also true. The girl should get the cat.

So that was like a... Nah, if it's a gift to you, you should keep it. Yeah, it was a... We're on great terms now, but it was a messy breakup at the cat. So that was like a... No, it was a gift to you. That was a spite. Keep it. Yeah, it was a... We're on great terms now, but it was a messy breakup at the time. She's like, I'll take the $5,000 couch.

You can have the cat. I was like, what about you? Damn. Down bad. That couch was five grand. Five grand. Couches be expensive.

Couches be expensive. Couches be expensive. A lot of jobs. You mean me? We just got one. Get that bitch on Facebook Marketplace. Yeah, dude. She got bed bugs. It that bitch on Facebook Marketplace. Yeah, dude. She got bed bugs.

It's crazy. Please stop doing that shit. This guy sold out to Wilbur twice, and he's still so fucking stingy. Bro, he texted me the other day. He goes, these two girls want to come to my show. Do I comp them? I was like, yeah, why? He goes, that's money that's taken away from you.

I was like, what do you mean? That is true. I believe that. I can't, dude. I can't get away from his mindset, dude. I can't get away from it. Is it cultural? What the fuck? Is it genetic? You're like, a real answer?

The real answer is I had $0 four years ago. There's a lot of people who had $0. There's a lot of people who had $0 who aren't as cheap. Well, they're stupid. They're dumb people. And they're going to have $0 in six years. Me, I'm like going to have $0 in six years.

Me, I'm like, I had $0 in four years. Now I have money. I'm going to keep money. That's good. I'm going to keep this. I don't want to fucking ball on and get a goddamn Gucci, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Nobody's asking you to do that. Okay.

Nobody's asking you to do that. All right. To comp girls who want to come to your show that you're interested in. No. That's like 60 bucks. I don't even, dude, I can respect the idea, but you hold onto money so tight, it's crazy. He'll be like, I haven't slept in four days.

I'm just editing this thing. And I'll be like, why don't you just outsource that? And you'll be like, God, I don't know, man. It's like 80 bucks. It'll be shit like that. And I'll be like, what are you, what the fuck is wrong with you? Listen, you guys are right. You want to somehow find the only videographer

who's also a security guard. That doesn't exist. It's not? No. It exists. He's not packing like that. He's just big. But I can get him a gun license.

He'd get one. Big country motherfucker. Would you get a gun license, Kev? Would I? Yeah. I would. Oh, man. How much is he paying you?

I'll double it. Can I tell you something? Yeah. I would. Oh, man. How much is he paying you? I'll double it. Can I tell you something? No, he won't. I know this guy. I will not. Hey, I'll lower it. But I'll give you a gun. Yeah, yeah.

Listen, there is a lot of fear in not having money again. And I think that my mindset is still stuck four years ago. Have you talked publicly about how broke you were? Everything. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yes, I have. Yes.

Lyft? Yes. That's amazing. Lyft and walking dogs. This guy, after Punk'd, 28, what was it? What year? I moved to LA probably 2019. So it was like 2018?

Something like that. I think really before that. What was your Lyft rating? That's a great question. This guy drove Lyft, but like he said it to me one time. He didn't even tell me for years. Oh, that's where I know him. Come on. Damn.

You bitch. But that's the kind of shit. So he didn't even tell me this until recently. I knew him and I think we might have been going broke together. But like for him, it was probably even more of a mind fuck. You were unpunked. You had this pop and then it's gone, which I had too.

But anyway, he was like, uh, I was driving lift around LA, like paralyzed with fear that a fucking comic would get into one of my lifts and be like, Holy shit, blah.

And then you just got to deal with that. And it's like, you got this TV credit, blah, blah, blah. So that's a fucking another reason. I didn't know if you were saying it publicly,

but early on was like, I'm so proud of how far you've come. That's the shit. I don't remember that part, but I remember that part of his life. But I feel like I feel in LA, it's not as big of a deal. Cause like most of the actors,

there are like waiters and waitresses. Yeah. I think kind of, I feel like it's like in that world, in my head, it was a, I hear your point. I think in my head, it was a little different because it was like the that world in my head it was a I hear your point I think in my head it was

a little different because it was like the punk thing was such a major like it was like a nationwide search for the comics are gonna be on the ship right no offense we didn't know you were on there bro yeah no no doubt no love you no doubt man no doubt you weren't ass no doubt no doubt anyway my point is is like so to to get that and then to have that ride and then go down to zero i think there was a lot of like and and it might have not existed but in my head there was like this optics towards me or whatever and again it might have been surrounding because you're used to being on set. They're like, you're talent, get whatever you want, here's food.

And then somebody gets in like, can we turn the AC down a little bit? Yeah. How's with the Kardashians two weeks ago? Yeah. It was such a, it was such a mind fuck. So,

and again, it might've just, I might've just been making it up, but in my head, it was like, I fucking woke up at like six in the morning to drive people. Cause in my head, I was like, oh, comics aren't up this late.

I'm sorry, up this early. So I drive from 6 in the morning to like 4 or like probably 3 or 4 p.m. and then do like open mics. And I was like deep in the game at this point. And so the whole point of me even saying any of this is like that's where my mindset was. And so to actually have money now, it's like I don't ever want to go back there. So that's why I think I'm innately cheap, obviously. Yes, that's one. But I think it accentuates it because of that.

No, that makes perfect sense. For sure. You are innately cheap. But I get how that's more of a mindfuck. But also at a certain point, you got to let go a bit. Now, maybe I let go too much. I don't know. Probably.

We're still thinking with your brain from four years ago. You're pretty cheap too. I will spend. No, he's crazy to me. Is he not crazy to you? AP. This dude spends money like crazy. That's pretty cheap, too. No, he's crazy to me. Is he not crazy to you? This dude spends money like crazy. Andrew likes watches and then all of a sudden he likes watches.

Actually, I liked watches first when I was broke. I also didn't know you could collect them. My cousin is obsessed with watches, but not even on what's going to appreciate in value. He loves the movement of it. I went to AP. Yeah, dude. Yeah. He, I went to AP. He, and it's like hard to get access to in AP at all. And, uh, shouts to my guy, Alou that hooked it up. But my cousin is like, he's trying to get such a watch guy. Yeah. I always, I always shout him out when I can.

My cousin is such a watch guy. He's like impressing the AP guy about his Breitling. He's like, oh, it has a Navit timer. This is how you work it if you're in the air, blah, blah, blah. Guy's fascinated, so impressed. And he says to my cousin, you ever think about becoming a part of the AP family? Which is like, you don't get asked. And then my cousin goes, I'll probably just get a used vintage one. That's what I like if I had the choice. He couldn't care less about the appreciation and getting asked.

He likes the movement and the look of the vintage, and that's what he likes. And that rubbed off on me a bit. But then when I found out you can, like, this thing appreciates in value, I was like, fuck, yeah, let's do that. Absolutely. So that's where I was like, oh, watches are great. They look fly. You can get the right one. You can appreciate in value.

But I will also spend on a lot of things. I'll cheap out on certain things. But living in a nice place is like... That's so interesting that you feel like he's cheap because I feel like he spends money like insane. So maybe I just like... I love value. My dad, I'm obsessed with.

Whatever I pay, I want to get the best shit for it. I don't mind paying, but it's got to be the best. I'm like weirdly obsessive about that. I just remember us having a combo here about who tips the worst. remember this i think him and andrews are used to be bad tippers i think now they're forced to be good tippers because they're too like big in the limelight where are you at percent i'm i'm much more generous now actually what's his name the hassan abi i don't know i was talking to him i was like yeah i could tip i wasn't i got better as i stopped being broke

i used to really be bad when I was broke. I mean, I'd tip whatever, 15 to 18. I'd tip the worst when I'm standing up. Any place where I got to be like- When you were on the pod, you said you were going to stop tipping. I did Flickr like four years ago. It was just me and Andrew. You said you were going to stop tipping.

And we opened on it. But now, it's annoying if people know who you are and you don't tip. So it's like you want to not. Of course. You're like, fuck, you know me. If I'm at a Leslie's pool supply and you hit me with this shit, I'm like, what the fuck am I tipping for, a pool noodle? Yeah, the spin. If I'm at a restaurant.

I hate to spin. Sit down, I'll always go 20 and above. But just when I'm standing up, you know. Yeah. I'm just trying to get out of that screen as quick as possible. The percentage kills me. So I'm like, bro, you're making my coffee, which I really appreciate. Let me give you a dollar.

But you hit me with the percentage of 20%. And also coffee is now $8. So you're giving me with a 20% of $8. I'm tipping you $1.60 to make me a fuck. And you're making like $20 an hour. First of all, can I say this? This is crazy. This is crazy.

No, I agree the tipping is out of control. You're selling out theaters. No, no, no. This is how cheap he is. Watch this. Just play back what he said. This is how great. No, I agree the tipping is out of control, but here's where he— You're selling out theaters. No, no, no. You guys are ridiculous. This is how cheap he is. Watch this. Just play back what he said. This is how cheap he is.

If you want a dollar, that's fine. I'll give you a dollar to make my coffee. But if you want $1.60 for a coffee, that's— The words that came out of his mouth. Oh, bro, tell them the OnlyFans story. Oh, I will. I will. I just want to say this real quick, and I'll go to OnlyFans.

I would rather tip the espresso machine because that motherfucker did the work. Yeah. He grinded the beans. He did the thing. You just sat there with a cup like this. You didn't do shit. If you're making a cappuccino with a blah, blah, blah, and then putting the goddamn leaf on there, all right, cool. I get that.

It's principled. Thank you. You see the robots that deliver food? Do you guys have that out here? Is that just an L.A. thing? No, it's a guy. These little robots is on four wheels.

That's just L.A. Yeah, but this girl posted on her story yesterday. She's like yelling at Uber support being like, why don't I fucking tip a robot dog

like it was a person dropping on my food? I want somebody to get it. Who's the money going to? Valid point, but she's like cussing out and then another robot is the tech support at Uber.

It's a hilarious screenshot to be looking at. It's crazy. But it's so funny because you're like, who does the tip go to? You tip before you is the text. It's a hilarious screenshot to be looking at. It's crazy. But it's so funny because you're like, who does the tip go to? You tip before you get the food. And then all of a sudden, Wally comes pulling up smoking a menthol and be like, here's your Shake Shack. Who gets the money? I think those robots are cute as shit. They are cute.

They put eyes on it. They put eyes on it so people don't victimize it or like hit it or like spray paint it. And now. Dehumanize it. That car. Fuck. I think like Ravian or some shit like that.

It looks just like the robots. I was like, tell me your OnlyFans story. This is hilarious. Oh, so there's OnlyFans. I only signed up for one OnlyFans. This girl was super, super, duper bad

and I really need to see her naked. Please, madam. Get him one OnlyFans. You signed up. All right, keep going. No, I'll be- I'll always keep it 100. Anyways, so I signed up for it

and I was very excited. You did say he's gonna be gay in a matter of time. So I believe that he's on it. Yeah, I mean, guys, I always try to be honest. I'll be, I'll always keep it 100. Anyways, so I signed up for it, and I was very excited. You did say he's going to be gay in a matter of time. So I believe that he's on it. Yeah, I mean, guys, I always try to be honest. I'll tell you guys, my mom's got perfect teeth. So you know your mom's nipples, right? Thank you.

Yeah, you're right, you're right, you're right. So I signed up for this lady's OnlyFans, and I was looking at some pictures, and I wanted to see a video, and she was trying to charge me a dollar to see a video. But that's how OnlyFans works. Oh, I already spent money. Oh, you paid- You paid the monthly to get in. No, that would bother me.

Thank you, but one dollar. No. One dollar. Fuck you. I will say, pulling out a credit card for a dollar is crazy. I got paid out of Comic Club maybe a year ago, and they gave me a check for 20 bucks. I go, what are we doing? Yeah, I've had that too.

You got to pull out the fucking Chase app, find a- You ever get a SAG residual for one cent? A residual check? 20 bucks. I go, what are we doing? Yeah, I've had that too. You're going to pull out the fucking Chase app, find a door. You ever get a SAG residual for one cent? A residual check? Fuck you. I don't understand what you're sending to me. I had a three cent for sure, and I think I had a one cent once, but three cents I've had multiple times. That's crazy. So are we okay with what I just did, or is everyone

against it? If I had Apple Pay, I'd do it immediately, but pulling out the card and the CVB and all that, then I'm back out. It's the principle. Don't charge me and then charge me an extra dollar. This is exactly what the Amsterdam lady did. The fucking swoop, swoop. Swoop, swoop, swoop, and then you want some head? It's like, are you swooping? I'm not on board because you shouldn't pay for porn anyway.

So if you're going to pay, pay one more dollar. No. You've never played for OnlyFans before? Never. No, he's big on it. It's like you have access to everything. Yeah. Everything. But there him. No, he's big on this. It's like you have access to everything. Everything. But there's a difference, though,

because this is like true, authentic amateur shit. Bro, that sounds alone. That sounds alone. That was like the most sincere you've been all night. Oh, my God, dude. Oh, my God. I'm going to start laughing in your face. No, you can laugh at me.

You can laugh at me. Listen, you can laugh at my passion. You can hear the guy breathing into the phone right here. He does. Because all this other shit has no passion. There's no emotion behind it. But this is like... This is the shit I care about.

Yeah, because she's got a ring light and she lives in fucking Temecula and she's shooting whatever. She deserves it. But if you're going to charge me entry fee and then plus the dollar, the coffee machine would. Tipping the espresso machine is so funny. Let me tip the espresso machine. I'm telling you, it does make sense. You know what I started doing?

This is maybe classist of me, but I will tip like I don't. I love not tipping the barista. I do it sometimes because I feel like I'm going to look like an asshole, but I would love to just not tip. Yes, crazy. the barista. I do it sometimes just because I feel like I'm going to look like an asshole, but I would love to just not tip. And then if you deliver like Amazon Fresh or whatever, I'll tip like crazy. I start at $20. Because I've seen those guys. And those guys

I'm like, ugh, like older people sometimes. Like, yo, this is fucking... Yeah, so I'll tip them. I think over tip them. I think. And then like if you're like a barista making a fucking latte like, I'm not... I'm also big on the personality. If you give me no, like, if you're like a barista making a fucking latte, like, I'm not, a dollar max. I'm also big on the personality.

If you give me no addicts, if you're just like dead face, just like, what can I get for you? Oh, then I press no tip and I turn it back around. Yeah. I show you.

I make them do it. I turn around and say, press no tip. New York, the standard is a dollar. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. That's it. Yes.

Standard is a dollar for coffee. But you smell like that for cocktails, too. I'll do it, but begrudgingly. A dollar per drink. I'll do it, but standard is a dollar. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. That's it. Yes. Standard is a dollar for coffee. But you used to be like that for cocktails, too. I would do it, but begrudgingly. I'll do it, but begrudgingly. No, I feel like sometimes you don't do it. Sometimes I don't do it. That's not right. And I do that begrudgingly, too, because you did something to make me think.

Actually, no, sometimes I'm just like, what the fuck am I doing this for? What the fuck am I doing this for? They're getting paid shit. Just give them a dollar, bro. They're going to pay $20 or whatever. You might have won me over. $20 or whatever. Bro, I used to lift drive.

I used to be excited as fuck to walk with $100 on a goddamn lift drive. And I'm driving a fucking stinky motherfucker instead of a goddamn Elliott. How much would you have appreciated if somebody gave you a dollar extra on that ride? No, dude, I agree. And you're not doing shit but press the same fucking pedal that you press and turn the same thing. You give the money to the car. There's nothing extra. Oh, really?

The car just goes to the jet. Oh, really? Oh, really? That's all he's doing. Oh, really? I'm getting you safe to LAX. I'm avoiding shit. Oh, there's traffic.

Let me avoid this. Turn around with your toes in the rear view mirror. Yeah, I'm turning around. Hello, how was your day? I don't give a fuck how your goddamn day was. Oh, so you're keeping yourself alive. That's what you're doing. No, I'm keeping them alive.

No, you're keeping yourself alive. No, really. So that's what you're doing. No, I'm keeping them alive. You're keeping yourself alive. So that's what you're doing. Let me tell you something. Back in the day, do you know how much I resisted going like this over a ravine? My life sucked. He flipped it back. That's a good point. That was a good point.

It's like, yo, tip means I don't kill myself right now. But you tip at the end of the ride. They should tip before you get in the car. That's a fucking great point, dude. That's a funny part. I don't know what you did so far. I gotta tip you a dollar. You haven't even started making this.

So the driver, but yo, I'm tipping you five bucks. Then you drive a little nice, put a little jazz on. How presumptuous. But you know you're gonna get the coffee. Beforehand. You know you're gonna get it.

You know you're gonna get the coffee. I don't know if it's gonna be good. I don't know if you're gonna do a good job. Dude, sometimes they fuck my coffee. My shit is super regular and still they fuck it up. Actually, you guys have a point because if you're at a restaurant, you're tipping the waiter or

waitress for their service. It's called gratuity. It's not about how the food tastes. Yeah, I'm showing gratitude for this thing you have done for me. Gratuity. That's what it's called. And they didn't do anything for me. Doing it before you've done anything? Why? I don't know. So you're just tipping for them carrying the cup from there?

Correct. Yeah, you were a walking morning. That's a dollar. It's not even like a tip anymore. It's just baked into the price, it feels like. You just know it's going

to be an extra whatever. I swear I'd be more inclined to tip if they did it once they brought me the thing and then brought the car. I swear I'm not saying that would ever, but I'd be more inclined

to be like, yeah, dollar. That was great. Thank you. You know how restrooms at the airport have like the smiley faces? Like, how was our bathroom today? Sign his principle. Who the fuck are you, bro? I don't know what you've done for me. It's just baked into, yeah, dollar. That was great. Thank you. You know how restrooms at the airport have the smiley faces? How was our bathroom today? Principal, who the fuck are you, bro?

I don't know what you've done for me. It's just baked into the system, guys. Just be system men. Some of y'all don't belong in the system. And they haven't figured it out, so fuck you. I'm going to tell you you don't belong. Press no tips. Spin it back. I feel like we're going to see a viral video of our costume.

You're going to do shit to me. Also, saying that to a black person is crazy. I know. That was wild, but it's fine. I was going to let it fly. I apologize. I didn't mean it

in a systemic racism sense. I'm sorry I had to go through that. It's all good. You wouldn't believe that? No. It's their fault. It's all good.

I don't mean white people. I mean the Jews. Yeah. The Jews was, whatever, man. You're a walking espresso machine. I don't give a shit. I give you 58 cents. I'm joking. Whatever, man. You're a walking espresso machine. I don't give a shit. I give you 58 cents.

I'm joking. I give a dollar every single time, even if you talk shit. All these are thoughts in my head, but I still- Correct. Correct. I tip 20% literally every single time. Begrudgingly, to your point, but I do. Restaurants at this point, I feel like if you gave me not great, I got to go 20.

I got to start- Correct. 20 is like- 20 is very minimum. I have to start at 25, 30 now, I feel like if you gave me like not great I gotta go 20 I gotta start correct like 20's like 20's very minimum I have to start at 25 30 now I feel like I'll tip more if they do the math for me you know it's like 20% 25 30%

and they got the tip on you that's great you give me good service and I do feel better tipping I don't know whatever episode we do with Hasan and Abby for whatever reason I was like yeah

yeah I wanna oh actually it was a little before that pandemic when I went to the couple times we got to go to a restaurant people were reason. I was like, yeah, yeah, I want to. Oh, actually, it was a little for that pandemic. When I went to the couple of times we got to go to a restaurant, people were working. Yeah. I was like, man, fuck. Yeah.

You got to tip the fuck. Oh, yeah. And then it just became tipping better. Also, I had more money. Was it a postman in the pandemic? Like I tipped a guy and he left a note on it. He wrote like a handwritten note. And he says, thank you for tipping extra.

You know, this is the only job I have right now with the family. And I got three kids. Bro, I ran out of the house to try and find that man to give him more money. I was like bawling. You could have just done it on your app. That's why I know you're lying. This is a made up story for fucking proud, dude. You know what I'm saying?

No, I did do this. I did do this. Yo! Puss in my lap! Never happened. It was in my hometown. never happened no this did happen god i was oh my god i'll pull up the receipts on instagram it happened good dude oh holy fuck i was mad at him make a video out of it that's how you do what you guys do to blow up as an indian all right do that more of. Dude, don't make jokes about Hasan Minhaj. It's crazy.

His daughter's actually in Gaza right now, and I think we should really be being... That's super fucked up, bro. That's super fucked up. Their butthole's clenched. What's going on? And his wife just did a beheading video, so you better be fucking careful, bro. I'm telling you, bro.

You better be careful. We should have got him a drink earlier. Drunk man is so good. It's so good. He took a dip. Trevor's like, oh, my God. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. You should be holding the four logo.

That's like the gospel. This is a right to say whatever the fuck you want. That's true. Listen, sir, I am drinking four logo. Look. We did it. We poured it out to Chase. He spilled half of my buddy beer.

I'm so sorry, man. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Hey, give me some more, dude. Nah, we good. We good. I'm good, man. Al blacked out

during the Shane Gillis episode. It was so funny. He stopped making sense. Please don't do that. Oh, stop. You can do it, but don't do it. Yeah, he just

completely fell apart and then he was sewing his head afterward because he knew he fell apart. Al thinks he also can beat up anyone white. This is another fun Al thing. Now, he admitted Jake Paul could beat him up.

It's within reason. Kev would give me a problem. Kev would give you... Kev would fuck you up. Kev would kill you. Kev would beat the dog. I've seen how strong this motherfucker is. This is Lenny, bro. This is not mice and men. He ain't taking these spear fingers

off. What's up, bitch? He's not quick and limbo with it. So it's like, I just got to move quick. He gets a hold of you as a rat. Oh, yeah. Can we see y'all fight? Why not? Why not?

I'm two gins in. Let me see you fight. Then he's not going to have a videographer anymore. Oh, shit. All right. Al's talking all that shit. What if Big Kev was black? He might get taken.

He might get taken. He might get taken. He might. You get that mic if you want, Kev. You can give me whatever you want, bro. You know it's all up. Stop. That's his way of saying,

that's his way of saying, please don't beat the fuck out of me. Oh, absolutely. Yeah. You know, I'm seven to four because I pick my battle. Four of them I didn't pick right.

I'm having a great time. I am having a great time. I'm just fucking around. You guys have to do a Patreon after this. Oh my bitch fuck my goddamn ass. Where's my mom with them perfect tits? You got to tell her that was like a ringtone or something.

That was too good. Dude, you know what sucked? Sometimes, like, I knew this was going to sound like a flex, but it's not. I was really good friends with all the cheerleaders in my school. And so, so many times, we're like, all right, we're going on the boat, man. And they all look at me like, bring the cheerleaders. And I'm like, do you know how much fucking pressure it is to try and get all of them? Are you fucking crazy?

You're the hose guy. The hose guy. But when you come through, the two people that matter is the 30-pack guy, got to carry it on his shoulder, and the hose guy. This is such a funny guess. But when it does play, I mean, you're good for like seven months. But one out of ten times it does well. Yeah. Well, if you're bragging about it, then it's like annoying.

But if people are relying on you. It's the rely thing. Dude, like I had a fake ID in my freshman year of college. It was the most annoying shit in the world.'s the rely thing. Dude, I had a fake ID in my freshman year of college. It was the most annoying shit in the world. Yeah, same thing. Everybody, the people I never talked to

would knock on my door, hey, are you going to look this way tonight? I feel like an idiot. I feel like a loser. Yeah, but you got a fake ID

when you're early on. You get that dick sucked for a goddamn butt light. Not me. Or cut it off. You guys get to joke. Oh, there it is. I just saw y'all do your podcast

for about two and a half minutes. That was crazy. And what do you think? That was just so natural. Y'all just broke into it. That was very cool. Oh, there it is. I just saw y'all do your podcast for about two and a half minutes. That was crazy. And what do you think? That was just so natural. Y'all just broke into it. That was very cool. Dude, if you guys... Y'all didn't even know we were back in. If you guys stopped talking, Trev and I would just fucking... That's what we're gonna do on Patreon. It's gonna be on the set.

They, like, started the Patreon already. We don't do a lot of guests, so when we do a guest, we, like, forget and then we'll, like, riff-riff-riff-riff. Oh, yeah, so, uh, yeah, so you ever finger a stranger? It's great, man. We have such good chemistry together. That was great, dude.

Just early on, too. Yeah, I remember you telling me this is the guy you're going to start a podcast with. Yeah. You got good skin. Thank you. What do you do? What, are you going to wear it, you fucking weirdo? Al's not comfortable complimenting another man.

You could tell by how he tried to make that macho. I think that was pretty... It's actually one of the gayer compliments you can give a man, so props to you. But he had to be like, you got good skin. You do. But he just said it. Nice, gold, smooth. I just use Kiehl's, whatever the product is.

They got that shit at Newark Airport. Ain't got money like that in Newark. No facials, no skin peels, no Botox. No, I want to. No, nothing. I got a facial

before this special that did nothing for my goddamn face. You're in LA, you haven't got Botox? Uh-uh. But I'm 30. I look like I'm 22.

Oh, you're only 30? I'm 30, yeah. Son of a bitch. But so, the pressure out there for motherfuckers to look a certain way is crazy. I saw a bunch of my college friends recently and they were all the same age as me. I was 30. I was like, oh, bro, y'all look. But so whatever there for motherfuckers to look a certain way

Getting and they're all the same age me a story. I was like, oh bro. Y'all look 30 Mmm, hairline doing a damn boomerang up there. So I'm so thankful for what I don't even think I take that great of care myself I'm eating Funyuns and shit do fine. Just same thing as me. Yo lack of testosterone Yeah testosterone. Small hands, not all bad, Al. Yeah, I don't know. I just wash my face a lot, and yeah, I think that's it. I don't know. But no other shit extra. What do you do, man?

Your skin's shit. Thanks, man. See, I had to balance it out. There's the New York right there. You're just trying to counteract if the gay is coming. Exactly. Bro, yeah, your skin ain't shit. Anyways, you want to kiss me, bro?

I'm sorry. All right, you want to switch? He got you. That's okay, man. I respect it. Because whites, you know, usually it's not good. No, no, no. We do not age well at all.

Which I am thankful that I look like this. Age like a goddamn plantain. Kev, how big is your dick? I don't know about that. Kev, you pack it or no? You got out of that good. You're not? There ain't no way.

Shut up. There's no fucking way. I had it removed. What? Yeah. I'm transitioning. I love it. Good for you.

Come on. Kev, I wish that was funnier. I really do. That's your own boss right there. That was an HR meeting live in action I'm trying to get him on the podcast we all want to know because you're 8 feet I ask him all the time he don't tell me

this guy he's like a Gatorade bottle if he never wants to tell but is it a proportional thing where he might not be packing because you're tall but your dick on me would be like a super soaker what do you think now it's just 10 dudes talking about dicks I'll be packing because you're tall, but your dick on me would be like a super soaker? What do you think?

Be honest with me. Now it's just 10 dudes talking about dicks. We're at that part of the episode. Hold up. It's cute. Tell me when. Your wife limp. All right. Six foot.

Your wife is six foot? Your kids are going to be crazy. I got wild jealous. Six foot. Your wife is six foot? Dog, your kids are going to be crazy. I got wild jealous. I know. I got wild jealous. No, I got wild jealous of what they're going to produce. 6'11", six foot. Wow.

6'11", plus a six foot lady? Your kids are going to come out crazy. I feel like you never have to wait for drinks at a bar. They just be like, you. All right, cool. Anyways. Always have to wait for drinks. I'm a little bitch

That was worse than calf shake No, no, no, no, no You said no, no, no I'm gonna be honest with you It was an observation It was an observation, not a bit Hey, we've been talking for hours We've all talked

Oh yeah, of course, of course But I'll bail me out of mine, thank you Oh yeah, I'm texting Miles after this Cut the bar shit, cut the bar shit Are we getting hoed after this? Yes I wasn't I'm gonna be honest I'm gonna be honest In my head, I was like Listen, my voice is kind of fucked Cut the bar set. Cut the bar set. Are we getting hoed after this? Yes. I wasn't.

I'm going to be honest. I'm going to be honest. In my head, I was like, listen, my voice is kind of fucked. I don't want to know. I'm going to just work. And then I have one drink, and I'm like, my phone about to be crazy. Yeah. Bumble, Raya, DMs.

Dude, I played my friends' Bumble a couple times. It's so fun. Played Bumble. Played Bumble. Married for so long, man. I know. It's a video game. It's so cute. It doesble for so long man it's a video game it's so cute it is a video game to me yeah yeah it's like i had a i had a joke about this is like playing fruit ninja with destiny yeah i mean yeah where's it going where's my life going how do you meet the majority of the women actually both of you because you're both uh dms just start i'm not

on raya because I'm not fucking. I don't know why, but like hinge and shit. I don't really like it. Why are you not on Raya? I don't know. I think it's a personal thing. Oh, so you don't want to get married. Bro, I'm fucking.

Man, I think it's a personal thing. I'm trying to get wiped up. He is. He wants love. I want love. I want love, too, to be clear. I want to come back from a weekend in Omaha. She's like, how was it?

And you're like, oh, it's the best thing I've ever heard. So get on like Match.com or someplace where people like dates. Coffee meets bagel. That's? You're like, oh, it's the best thing I've ever heard. Get on Match.com or someplace where people take it serious. If you're in the DMs, you know those are just fans that just want to fuck you. That's true. That's a very great point. Yeah. Raya

for me has been great just in terms of actually going on dates with actual women and trying to find some shit. DMs are, to your point, just like fans interactions. But as yes, for me, it's just like, it's just DMs and Raya. So you're not trying to settle down. You get a lot of DMs or you mainly send and then occasionally get. My dream, my DMs are just the most dry.

He says this shit all the time. And I'm like, oh, he is getting most thrown at him. Because he's trying to get everybody to not look at him. People trying to be funny. We could look right now. He's like, babe, babe, my DMs are so dry. All the time. After shows, like weekends, DMs kind of crazy.

But it also just depends because sometimes you have a good show and there's nothing. And sometimes you have a good show Well, certain cities you'll be like, oh, I'm in Chicago. It's going to be crazy.

And then it's nothing because I'll find them. Fine. Girls, that'll be like mentioned to you in your story. But there's been like

two or three random crazy people. That's flirting. The mention is a bit. It's a comedy clip. That's flirting. Do you understand? Do you think every time a girl posts a comedy clip, she That's a flirt. It's a comedy clip. That's flirting. Do you understand? Do you think every time a girl posts a comedy clip, she wants to fuck the person she's posting?

Yes. Yes. And you just heard it from everybody here. He just find it his time. I get mad dudes posting what's that about. They're trying to be. Yeah, that too. That's where the theory falls apart.

No. Either they're just fans or some of them are gay. But when a woman goes that extra effort to tag you in it. It's a tag. That's the part that it is. If you just share it, then it's funny.

What's the tag? It's so funny. You guys have such low opinions of women, dude. It's just disgusting. Jesus Christ, man. That's disgusting to see how you'll be women.

I don't like how you flip this on us. These are objects of high value. Of course. No, no, no. Take off high value. These are objects.

That was disgusting. That's why we're going to tell her we're going to no. Take off high value. These are objects. That's what I'm talking about. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought you were going to tell her we're going to get it. I missed that. There you go. Oh, hoes. That's what you found on the web.

Terry, thank you, bitch. Seriously, you talking about hoes? Don't talk to robots like that, man. They're going to take over the world. I do believe that. I looked at my phone earlier. I've asked you guys all the things I want to ask you about.

Got you to talk about Lyft. Got you to talk about Punk'd. Got you to talk about Punk'd. Got you to talk about this wonderful prank that I did on you. Yeah. That was cruel, but very funny. Is there anything else you guys want to say, or are we ready to get this show on the road? Man, I think that's it for me.

I just want to plug the special. November 14th. Amazon Prime Video, Pterodactyl, Trevor Wallace. And just thanks for having us, man. Pterodactyl, spelled with a P. P and a Y. You know what else is P and a Y? Posing. Hey! USFY. Pterodactyl, spelled with a P. P and a Y. You know what else is P and a Y? Posing.

Hey! Pterodactyl, November 14th, Amazon Prime, wonderful. And socials, you probably know his socials already,

but if not... He's got walls across everything. Michael Blossom's on tour like crazy. I'm in Australia next week. Come see me.

You have just shot a special as well. You and I shot a special. It's cool because I feel like our careers are on very similar trajectories, ups and downs. It's great. And it's crazy that we both filmed a special on the same month. I shot a special. It's cool because I feel like our careers are on very similar trajectories, ups and downs.

It's great. And it's crazy that we both filmed a special on the same month. Yeah, yeah. So you just filmed your special. Do you have a title, anything like that? I do not have a title

and I do not have a date. But all that information will be released very shortly. YouTube is Blau Comedy. Everything's Blau Comedy. Come see your boy on tour. There's a random lady's hair on her socks.

Pretty cool. This guy fucks. This guy fucks. Yeah. This guy fucks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got the dog socks with the dogs on the home. Hey, bro. The bitches on the socks.

Hey. I will say, man, thank you guys so much for having us. Objectful, okay. This has been so fun. You're right. Thank you. My guy. Love you guys.

Thank you. Wow, so fucking happy for you. Thank you for having us, man. I was on here years ago. It was great to see you guys again, man. Love you guys. Love you, man. Thank you so much. Of course I was on here years ago It was great to see you guys again Love you guys Love you, man Thank you so much

Of course, dude Of course We out, Flagrant 2 Yo, also, check out the Patreon Flagrant2.com slash Patreon Then It's our Patreon We're gonna record right now

What'd I say? What'd I say? You said Flagrant2.com Hey, Patreon.com slash Flagrant Or Flagrant 2 Check out Patreon.com slash Stiff Socks I almost did it again. I almost said stiffsocks.com slash patreon.

Stiffsocks pod on Patreon. I am high. I held it together better than I did. Stiffsocks podcast every Wednesday, Patreon, fucking Fridays, guys. Go check it out. Peace. Love you. Bye.