Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Trump Survives & Kamala Harris Ends Democracy

Episode Date: July 24, 2024

YERRR We're back babyyyy! Came back with some HEAT this week after taking some time off. We break down the attack on Trump and the failures surrounding it. Talk about Biden stepping down and Kamala stepping up. Akaash recaps his awesome experiences at the Ambani wedding in India. & finally we get an excellent breakdown of Trump's new VP pick. All that and much much more. INDULGE. 00:00 The RANT 3:55 Patreon predicted this 5:54 Trump’s almost assassination 15:57 Too much information + FDR attempt 21:58 Crooks was ODD + stop and frisk weird white kids 30:43 Bring back the bike helmet, Andrew 31:15 Crooks’ last search + RNC was a banger 35:07 RFK leaks Trump call + Biden has tactical Covid??? 39:42 Kamala Harris is the safest pick 43:25 Democrats has gay branding 50:01 You more gay or racist? It’s all Elon Musk’s fault 1:00:46 Cricket is fire 1:03:21 Who is JD Vance? Peter Thiel is the best gay 1:12:02 VPs can’t overshadow the Prezzy + Debate economy 1:21:29 Trump outshining Teddy Roosevelt 1:25:06 US elections is reality TV + Diddy needs a bad shooter 1:29:40 The Ambani wedding was genuinely insane 1:44:42 Akaash 7/11 Convention clean performance 1:50:22 Indian living for part of the year + Goa’s the move 1:57:02 Crowdstrike fugged everything 1:59:42 We’re too used to historical events 2:03:51 Alexx at the gun range + Being Prezzy is dangerous 2:09:35 We didn’t mean to miss last week

Biden is out and Kamala is in. The election went from drool runnings to cool runnings faster than a female cop can fumble her firearm. Move over, RFK. This November, we've got a new throat goat and apparently her headshots don't miss. Kamala Harris, or as we call her, Warhawk Tua. The half-black, half-Indian parents met at a 7-Eleven robbery is officially the Democratic nominee. and parents met at a 7-Eleven robbery is officially the Democratic nominee. Surely the Dems, the party that calls Trump the end of democracy,

surely they allowed the voters to choose Kamala, right? What? No? Wait, there's no right to choose? Guys, this is a presidential election, not a woman's body in Oklahoma. Now, I don't want to seem like a flat-earth thing, dinosaur-denying, believe-all-women conspiracy theorists, but it kind of feels like the Democrats dragged Biden's lifeless corpse through the campaign long enough to avoid a primary so they could place whoever they wanted as the nominee. And that's about as democratic as North Korea's got talent.

Sidebar, last year's winner, Ching Chong Chestnut, ate 36 rats. bar. Last year's winner, Ching Chong Chestnut ate 36 rats. Congratulations Ching Chong. That's a lot of rats. We'll look forward to seeing how many you eat next year. What I'm saying is they used a vegetable to install a plant and honestly, we would have been happier

with a fruit. But the reality is it doesn't matter. Last week, Trump became invincible. Literally. He was leading before and now. Last week, Trump became invincible. Literally, he was leading before and now he's number one with a bullet. At this point, if the Dems wanted to beat Thrifty Cent, they'd have to run George Washington and Kamala could work for him. Paid. Paid. Now, why is Trump invincible? Because he has the power of Hulkamania, obviously, brother with a hard R. And also because this pimple-lipped, pug-faced incel, we'll call him a trench bulldog, tried to make Trump's brain public domain.

Fortunately, even a bullet couldn't make Donald open-minded. Now, getting a shot off at the president must be an incredibly difficult thing to accomplish. I mean, not as difficult as finding binoculars to fit his eyes. Jesus, he looks like the sloth from Ice Age. But he must have designed a pretty ingenious plot to circumvent the Secret Service and... Oh, what's that? Wait, you're saying that Herpy Potter was just walking around with a loaded gun like he was on an Alec Baldwin set? He was carrying a fucking ladder and a rangefinder? He propped it up on a building that had cops in it,

positioned himself on the roof with a perfect sight line to the president, and no one did anything? This Mickey Mouse security detail was so goofy it made Donald duck. Oh, boy. Who was in charge of the Secret Service? A lady? Wait, what? Seriously? Well, of course she didn't have anyone on top of the building. Women only care about shots on a roof when there's a pool party. Now, I don't want to seem like a Bigfoot tracking, moon moon landing denying Jews don't control the weather conspiracy theorists, but it doesn't exactly feel like a 20 year old fetal alcohol face McLovin should be able to infiltrate the most advanced security detail in history. I mean, the only other thing he's penetrated was his palm. Did Kim Cheadle hire Epstein's

NyQuil night watch? What the fuck is going on here? This just doesn't feel right. And that's the problem. Nothing feels right. We have officially entered the post-truth age. We can't trust the media. We can't trust the government. We can't trust the pharmaceutical industry. We can't even trust the food we eat. Who can you trust? Me, your good friend, Chelsea. This episode has been brought to you by Pfizer. There is no promo code. There's nothing to fill out.

They're already inside you. But before we bitch, whine, and complain, just remember, like it or not, this is what we asked for. We wanted fast content that makes us feel good. We want politicians who lied to us. We want sugary food to fill us up and pills to slim us down. We don't want what's lie to us. We want sugary food to fill us up and pills to slim us down.

We don't want what's good for us. We want what's convenient. So we made our bed. Might as well get comfy. Sleep tight. We are back. That was hard. That was hard, bro.

We are back. We are back. We picked a hell of a week to take off. Someone was telling me, I think it was Miles, that on Patreon we said bro yeah this is crazy how weird is that what exactly did we say i think we opened patreon by saying hey if we miss anything this week our bad and i think you said every asian died which that didn't happen okay phew and then

we talked about al being the secret service and that he would have to protect trump yep where oh and then i was like, I would only save Obama. I wouldn't save any other president. Yep. How crazy is that? Yeah. Alex and that girl have the same MO. Yeah, exactly.

They got the same energy. Shit, they should have hired me. Al would have fumbled in his gun. I would have stolen Trump's shoes for sure. He would have grabbed his shoes and been like, dude, there's a Lipson in this? Nah, when you wanted to... Don't throw the Lips away.

Me too. Protect the shoes. Get the shoes. It's a Gucci. when you put the black fist i would have joined them okay so let's let's catch ourselves up uh obviously last week we had a pre-recorded episode shout out to shits and gigs yeah and uh and then everything happened yeah literally everything happened yeah the world shut down. This is crazy. And we're not even talking about you going to the biggest wedding ever. No.

So we got to get to that as well. Akash was at the Ambani wedding. Ambani wedding. Yeah, Ambani wedding. It sounds rich. It does. It really does. Did you feel poor?

I was so happy to be there. I couldn't even be insecure. That's a yes. I was so happy. I just felt broke, boy. But I knew going in how broke I was relative to them, so there was nothing that was going to... I knew how not famous I was there. I knew how not rich I was, how ugly I was there.

It's all, I'm used to, I'm ready. Oh, stop it. Every time Akash goes to India, he always comes back, he's like, I just feel so bad at the level of poverty. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey,, I just feel so bad at the level of poverty. They're looking at me like that. They're like, dog, America's struggling.

Okay, okay, we get to the embodying wedding a little bit. Alright, let's just reflect on what happened. Okay, assassination attempt for Trump. Fuck. I mean, is it dated to go back that far? Should we start with the immediate? Or let's just start there and go.

Okay, so that's the nation. Immediate thoughts when you saw it. I'm in India, and I'm like, why the fuck am I going back? I'm in this opulent wedding. I got to go back to this shit? Yeah. Crime. Political violence.

We got to stay in India. Yeah, I got to stay in India. In front of that? Yeah. It's not like they massacred Fucking 10 million Muslims for no reason. But I mean, come on. But now they're killing whites, dude. They're killing whites.

That's the problem. They were killing whites, dude. They're trying to kill Trump. Oh, yes, yes. That's one of the things, yeah. Okay. My funniest thing was the group chats. So I have my black group chat and it was like, man, that shit is fake.

It was just so funny, the dynamic. That was great. Okay. So the black group chat was like, that shit is fake. What was the white group chat saying? Also, are you a white group chat? Yeah, you. Wait, you have a separate white group chat?

You have other white friends? No, no, no. Because my white guy, I still, I'd be like, stay black every time I leave him. Okay. Okay, I'm not going to lie. The only reason I thought that it was, it was immediately, I thought that it was, it was not fake. I knew something was shot, but the sound, like maybe I'm used to movie sounds for guns. I was like, New Yorkers don't know what guns sound.

That's the thing. So we were like, be me gun, of course. Or what are the, for the mosquitoes. Assault gun. Yeah, the assault gun. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because the sound was, this isn't like a booming rifle like what you hear. Yeah.

So I was like, okay, what exactly is happening? I thought someone was shooting at him, but I didn't know what it was. Yeah. So that was initial. And then I heard the glass hit his ear. And I was like, oh, that makes more sense. You know what I mean? Like, how does a bullet hit your ear?

Yo, you a hater, bro. What? That's what I heard first. Let him get shot. We just said first reaction you said first reaction i heard that let him be megan estallion now listen sometimes a ricochet counts well now we know as a bullet now we know we know a bullet actually hit now yeah oh that's that's what they're saying good i don't even really know i mean how does a bullet hit your ear it's so

fucking great yo what you mean let him get your ear look at your ear he can't even be gangster he won't let trump be gangster i don't know we got to see the wound okay so what do you think he's just trying to get into your black group chat no don't worry about that we have an insider fucking busamante right here did you hit busamante no i just stole his style today that doesn't look like it right now tell us tell us i don't know but like it just seems so crazy like i believe a bullet hit his ear because that's what the story is. Yeah.

But the idea, like, your ears. You can hit mine. You can hit my ears. But we got to look, though. Like, if your ear, like, Miles' ear, look at Miles' ear. Come on, bro. You ain't hitting that. Come on, bro.

It'd be a headshot for sure. There's no way. You're getting close. You hit Miles' cheek before you hit his ear. Miles' ears are trans, bro. Some boys are tucked in. You're going to hit that chin, bro. It'd be a headshot for sure. There's no way. You hit Miles' cheek before you hit Miles' ears. Miles' ears are trans, bro. His elbows are tucked in. You hit that chin first. Chin?

Yeah, we were talking about that. That's very kind of you. I was trying to get with it. If you hit Miles' chin, you were an American sniper. From 400 yards? John Wick. But you know, Miles would come back with a surgery looking amazing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He would look so good. Giga-chan. amazing. Giga Chad. Okay, so. That's what I thought at first. I thought it was the glass. And I was like, oh, maybe the bullet like ruptured his eardrum or some shit. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then now I'm like, nah.

Okay, so the knee jerk reaction for a lot of people was this can't be an actual assassination attempt. It's too crazy. It's too crazy. Yeah. Our generation has never really witnessed it. We've only like kind of heard of it, it yeah and got hit that's the craziest part so the and also i think that we're like so detached from reality at this point like we really just like we're saying in in the in the brand the beginning it's like we really just don't believe i'm desensitized all of it my first

thought honestly was liberals really can't do nothing right like y'all fucking fail every time and everything because the gravity of it didn't even sink in because we just see all this crazy shit so it's like man y'all fuck this up too yeah i don't miss it i don't ruin everything that's all i thought yeah i just moved on but you need your jump to it must have been a liberal or or if just yeah then second thought was maybe it's fake maybe this ensures the election win for him this is gonna because the way he raised his fucking fist up in the air it was so hard i was like i can't imagine that being real if that was my first thought it had to be fake because he was too cool afterwards i thought if i would do it like i thought if i would sit back up and stand

back up and like try to take in the moment. I can't imagine. Bro, the wherewithal. Bro, I had a sleepover once in my apartment when I was young in high school. And there was a shooting in the parking lot outside my apartment. And we dropped to the floor and we was walking around. I'm in an apartment building. We're here in a shooting next door. It's not like there isn't even a window the bullet could come in.

But the rest of the night. But we're crawling like this to the bathroom, going to my parents' room. That's how terrified of the bullets. This guy got shot at, clipped, grabbed his insoles, and then stood up the extra two inches, raised his hand, and then kept it moving. That was... Yeah, baller. I mean, how could you be so secure

that, especially given America's history, there's multiple shooters. Yeah. Right? Like, you know the history. You looked at the JFK file. You know that there was three different people, someone in the know,

someone in the building. I mean, maybe even this one. I know. There's some acoustic shit that apparently two, maybe even three oh really they said i didn't hear that one that's a good spirit yeah and then apparently kim cheetle didn't even deny they were like was he a lone shooter and she basically said something to the effect we were pulling up she was like i you know she just basically like reiterated what her original

comma was but i kind of chose not to answer whether or not as a lone kim cheetle is the director of the secret service former former that Former, that's right. She just resigned. Yeah. Yeah. So, okay. The disbelief, I think there are some people that didn't believe it because they just fucking hate Trump, right? And they saw that this was going to be something that really benefited him because he looks fucking majestic.

I mean, unbelievable. You gotta give it. The picture's crazy. If I'm, frame that, that's his next NFT. Yeah, that's an album cover. Sell that. That's it. yeah that's a album that's it yeah i mean just make it 100 million off which is crazy thing miles even told me the guy that took that photo also took the photo of george bush when he found out that the world trade center got hit holy shit he's in on it where the guy's whispering in his ear he's in on it bro because if you're at both of those moments and you have the defining picture or video evidence? Or he's just a good-ass photographer.

Or he knows how to keep his mouth shut. He's at a school in Florida? If a fucking president is showing up to a school, you send fucking news there to take pictures. They called him. They called him. They said, line up right here. Flag flying. That guy's a baller.

We're talking about Trump coming up after a shot. That guy was standing there back to the shooter. That's crazy. Because he knew it wasn't right maybe yeah maybe but yeah kind of a crazy photo okay so you know a weird thing also happens when someone gets shot and survives is like anything that they've done before that you forget about like after he got shot stood back up pumped the fist and came back out i think it was even the next day he went golfing or something i was like i think i'm a republican yo yo elon came out and donated the 42 million a month did you see this no no so he's he came out he's like i fully endorsed donald trump i am donating $42 million a month to his campaign.

That's cool. How do we get him on Patreon? How do we get him to subscribe? We have facts. $45 million. I'll tell you how. We just got to say, end puberty blockers and stop trans movements. But he made that tweet, like a declaration, like, oh, I'm back in trouble.

And I'm like, nigga, we know he was back in trouble. Like, what's in, like, news? Yo, so here's the thing thing this is the thing that a that a shooting does they're surviving a shooting does it's a permission slip for all the people that were secretly trump supporters to come out and that's where the benefit is yeah like the benefit is not like i don't think there's someone that saw the shooting that was like actually i will vote for him i think it's now you can see all the people in the public support him i saw a baseball player like they hit off hit a base hit and just hit the fight.

They hit the fight or they go like this and they tap their ear. I think they do that in baseball. I think that's just a call. That's a fastball. Damn, bro. That's all right. They're shouting out the dog. Post-truth paradox.

But now you get to see people mask off supporting him and that I think is going to do way more for him. And it's because he's viewed as a victim. Yeah. And I think that you could take that victim narrative. You could also turn into, well, if they, whoever they is, is trying to kill him because it was suspicious. The circumstances were incredibly suspicious.

Right. So it is easy for you to go down the line of thinking that maybe there was an organization or a group of people that wanted him out of here. Right. And if you go down that line of thinking, you're like, well, if they want him out of here. What the hell is he planning on doing that these people want him out of here? And if these people are these nefarious individuals that are the deep state or ruling the country or whatever, I definitely don't like them. Man, I got to support this guy to get those guys the fuck out. He's real. Everything he's been saying is real.

All that drain the swamp shit, it must be real because they want to kill him. It confirms every... And this is what we talked about on the call and you mentioned the post-truth era. Whatever you want to believe, this one allows you to believe. If you hate Trump

and you think he's a weak candidate and he knows even if Biden is old, he'll still probably lose this, you're like oh he did this so he could win how does a bullet graze you you drop to the ground then we see the blood you could very easily have whatever yeah that whatever you want to believe this lends itself to it it's the perfect that's what we talked about why is there so much conspiracy theoretics whatever you want to believe this allows you to believe that's nice i like that everyone's on the

conspiracy train now it's just so nice it's getting a little hacky it was just right wing people and now i feel a little bit like y'all are making a switch up yeah now you gotta do it i believe reality cnn is right i believe all of it yeah but that is true it's we have so much information available to us that you can satisfy whatever theory you have. It could be a conspiracy. It could be a reality. It doesn't matter what it is. There's enough information. There's enough information to show that there were multiple shooters. Yeah. So now the idea that like, let's say the FBI or the CIA or some organization was involved in this, right? Let's just say allegedly whatever was involved in this. That's not even enough. Yeah. Right. They didn't hire this lone wolf and then kill the patsy. No, no, no. There was three different this that's not even enough yeah right they didn't hire this

lone wolf and then kill the patsy no no there was three different people that did it and they all somehow miss yeah which makes no sense yes exactly but if that's what you want to believe there's enough information for you to go out there and get it yeah yeah i don't know if we're built for all this information yeah it's crazy well maybe we're the first generation with it and it's like the first generation of people who smoke cigarettes, where they're like, yeah, this can't be bad. Dax Shepard said that one time. What did he say?

He's like, when we grew up, we were eating so much sugary junk food, we had no idea how bad it was for us. It's all fucking processed and fake and artificial. And now we're wising up, and we're learning how to use that wisely. He thinks the same thing will happen with technology. Right now, we're taking all of it in. We don't know how bad it is for us. We're going to start to learn and then evolve and figure out how to use it. So we're the generation that's going to have will happen with technology. Right now, we're taking all of it in. We don't know how bad it is for us. We're going to start to learn and then evolve and figure out how to use it.

So we're the generation that's going to have to deal with it. Maybe the kids can discern between like real news and fake news, and maybe they just don't subscribe to any of it. Yeah. But us, we're the people getting, you know, taken advantage by the Nigerian credit cards camps. Yeah. We're literally, with everything we read, every headline that satisfies my feelings. Yes, definitely. And it's only getting worse, dude. Yeah. With everything we read, every headline that satisfies my feelings. Yes. And it's only getting worse, dude.

Have you seen the AI videos after Biden dropped out, which we'll get to the AI videos of him being like just cussing out the camera and stuff like that. The dubbing is off, but everything else looks perfect. And they're going to get the dubbing better and better. It's going to get to the point where we're like, I don't even know what's real and what's not. Yeah, it's crazy. Now, I was thinking if the bullet doesn't hit Trump, if he's not bleeding, does anyone care? Is it just like, oh, there were some shots fired, and then people can deny it? I'll tell you why.

RIP, the fireman died. There was a casualty. I think if there's no casualty, I think people, I agree with you. I think there's enough plausible deniability that it even happened at all but the fact that the dude died that's when all the people that were trying to discredit trump that's true that's when they start to pump the brakes they're like wait a minute there's an actual death here you know i mean yeah i was even looking at it like there's a thing in history like fdr got shot or got shot at nothing hit him it hit the mayor behind him and killed the mayor but we don't even remember it doesn't even come up it's not even a i never

knew i heard it and just because it didn't hit him and missed him and hit the mark which there's a whole conspiracy about that i'll spare you wait wait tell us how people think it was the mob that set up the hit and that was never supposed to hit fdr in the first place that was supposed to hit the mayor behind him who was mayor sermac of chicago and that the chicago mob hired this guy to take out the mayor. And so they killed the mayor, and that was what it was intentionally supposed to do because FDR spoke for like 10, 15 minutes, and no bullets came.

And then as soon as the mayor came up, that's when he shot him. And apparently the guy used to be like a high-ranking Italian military member. But why would they try to kill the mayor in the most difficult way possible? Because he was around. It was like a challenge.

He was public. But I'm just saying, you could get to a mayor, like with the mayor's near the president's could be the greatest security detail you've ever seen if the mayor's not with the president we used to see bloomberg on the subway really yeah that's wild he would take the subway to work yeah oh apparently that's what which is crazy that's the story when you think about it yeah shouts i mean at the time he was like enough where he could take no he's still respected but like like towards the end people were like yeah you're doing you pump the brakes you're doing too much like when he was trying to like change new york with like sodas and shit like that

that was the straw yeah y'all were really upset about that you know what it is he's like you should be five four all your uncles and shit yeah they're fucking up your business yeah yeah but the markup ain't it is better on the smalls. Markups are better? Yeah, I learned about this at the 7-Eleven conference. Oh, wait, we have to talk about that too? Yeah, it was a little, it was, yeah, we'll talk about it. It wasn't as cool.

All right, Akash also, I mean, you've done so many cool Indian things. You're living like an Indian dream. I know, this is the best three weeks of my life. Okay, Akash also performed at the 7-Eleven conference in Orlando, Florida, for all the 7-Eleven owners. Yeah, we'll get to that. Yeah, we will. You thought the Imbani wedding smelled bad. I want to know what Orlando was like.

The Life Tour, last leg update this Friday Del Lago Casino in Waterloo, New York then Saturday the Mohegan Sun Arena and then at the end of the month we've added a second show at Oceans in Atlantic City and then the fall we are closing it out San Antonio we've added

a second show Las Vegas Cleveland, Columbus, Minneapolis, Milwaukee Rama, Ontario, Portland San Jose we've added a second show. Las Vegas, Cleveland, Columbus, Minneapolis, Milwaukee, Rama, Ontario, Portland, San Jose, we've added a second show. Denver, we've added a second and third show. Salt Lake City, we've added a second show. And Honolulu, we're finishing up the tour.

I cannot wait to see you guys all there. And then that is it. It is done. It's crazy to even say. So these are the last options for you to come check out the Life Tour. Thank you guys so much for making this come check out the Life Tour. Thank you guys so much for making this the craziest tour of my life. All of my dreams came true, and I am so grateful for that. I will see you guys out there. TheAndrewSchultz.com for those tickets. Don't get

fucked at the resellers. Go to the website and get them. It will be the most affordable for you. I promise it. Peace. Also, guys, we got one more date in July. We got the Comedy Zone in Jacksonville. I'm there this weekend. Both Saturday shows sold out. Friday tickets still available, but they will sell out. End of August, I'm coming to Hawaii, Honolulu on the 29th and 30th. And then September, we got five weekends in a row. I got Las Vegas.

I got Doral, Florida. I got Timonium, Maryland, Mugubi's Comedy Club. I got Greenville, South Carolina. Those tickets at akasheng.com. Also go to Fontanious. I told you guys I invested in a chai shop. The chai is fantastic. Go there.

It's in Dumbo. F-O-N-T-A-I-N-H-A-S. I love y'all. God bless. Let's get back to the show. Obviously, Assassination, every conspiracy theory under the book. The Kid is a lot of weird things about The Kid. No social media.

Yeah, that's weird. The Black Rock commercial commercial is fucking weird you know who produced that commercial uh ling yeah so the guy that did the guy code he created guy code uh also does uh social media content for black rock and he produced that commercial he wasn't there but his dp was there randomly his dp was also in israel on october 7th so i'm like keep that bitch away from him and that photographer yeah this is odd this is odd he had to go and get all the footage and he had because blackrock hit him up he's like yo we gotta give all this shit to the fbi like they didn't fucking already know how it was gonna go down and uh and he goes, he said he looked at the, not the NDA, like the permission slip that the kid had to sign. And he goes, I'm sure I'm just thinking this retroactively.

Like, I know what the kid did. So now I'm applying this to this permission form. But he goes, it was the creepiest handwriting I've ever seen in my life. I don't know what that means. He had a shaky hand. You know what I mean? We know that. We know that much to be true.

Marquito. We get it. You know what I mean? It's not crazy. Anywho. But it is weird. No social media posts. Yeah.

It has more BlackRock commercials than Instagram posts. Yeah. I mean, what fucking world? Yeah. There's no other pictures of him other than him saying he's got a 10-inch dick. Registered Republican. Yes. Donated to the Democrats. dick. Registered Republican. Yes. Donated to the Democrats.

I heard something about this. Go. So apparently the theory, again, this is just some shit I read online, that he was a registered Republican so he could vote against Trump in the primary. That happens a lot. Like in Orange County, if you're a Democrat in Orange County that's always going to go Republican, you basically register as a Republican so you can vote for what you believe to be the lesser of two evils.

So I saw it and I was like, wait, because he was a Republican first in January and then donated to ActBlue in like September or some shit. And I was like, this makes no sense. But now if he's voting against Trump, then it's more consistent. Mind you, he's 20, so he just got the right to vote. Yeah. Donated under 18, I think.

Yeah. But still, it's on paper the perfect person to convince to do this. Because if you're a registered Republican, but you've also donated to the Democrats, America can't tear itself in two because you can't exactly pinpoint that this was just like an insane liberal that digested all the rhetoric about how Trump is actually Hitler and he thought that he had to do the heroic thing and take him out. Yeah. like an insane liberal that digested all the rhetoric about how Trump is actually Hitler, and he thought that he had to do the heroic thing and take him out. Now we're confused about what his real intentions are.

Is he a diehard conservative, and he thinks that Trump's taking the party in the wrong direction? A conservative wouldn't have missed. What are we talking about, dawg? That guy would have been at target practice. Did you see people throwing trans on him? People were throwing trans on the shooter. There's an early rumor right when it happened. They're like, oh, he's a trans shooter. I love that.

And then they just found some random trans chick, and they're like, that's the one. Yep. That's fire. I wonder if he's in hell. Yo, Elon's Twitter is cracking. Yeah, for real. He's on it. The shooter's out like, yo, I'm trying to kill the president.

I'm not trans. Come on, bro. Yeah, be realistic here. Insulting my looks. Yeah. I mean, it is is crazy he looks like every school shooter ever that we didn't have that conversation there was like a casting for him there was like we need a school shooter look who do we go to yeah yeah open call that's the kid in the black i'm a beard away from being a school shooter no you don't no you don't shave the beard no It's so distinct what school shooters look like. Yeah, you got too much of a tan. I appreciate that.

The hair. That was this weekend. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's so distinct what they look like that I think that we need to stop being so polite about them. stop being so polite about them. You know, in the way that we're kind of, I mean, no longer, but white people weren't polite with black people.

They crossed the street, they exchanged their purse. Yeah, the slavery thing. Also the slavery thing. But there was a fear of them. They're like, uh-oh. There is not a single... I knew who the school shooter was in my school. He didn't end up doing it, but they found a list of people he said he wanted to kill.

I talk about him on the pod all the time. You were on it. No, I wasn't. Jameel was on it. Okay. Yeah. Jameel was on it. You talk about it a lot. Carlos was on it. I talk about it a lot because I want people to know that I know. That kid was racist. To hate Jameel and not you is racism. No, I was nice to him. He made him laugh.

I was tickling him and shit. I had his back. I liked him. He was a fun kid. Turn off the lights, run to the desk. He was an entertaining kid to have in school. Talk shit to the principal. It was great. My point is, if every one of us know who the kid is that's going to do it, why isn't there this, like, we had stop and frisk or whatever for black people. You can profile them, but you got to be nice to them.

You don't want to push them. No, no, no. I want to profile the fuck out of them. Yeah, yeah. El Salvador. Like, brown people get searched more at airports. the fuck out of them. Yeah, yeah. El Salvador. Like, brown people get searched more at airports. It works in El Salvador. Yeah, yeah.

We need El Salvador for school shooters. Dude, there is... I'm glad you said that. Vala, who works with us, right? Every single flight we've ever been on, he gets randomly selected for his bags. He's not blown up one flight yet. It's working. Because it works.

Even if he wanted to, he knows that they're going to look at the fucking bag. Clearly he wants to do it. Clearly they can't help themselves. But we have this ingenious system where they randomly select the people that do the fucking crime. So if we apply that to the school shooters,

which I'm sure you knew one in your fucking school. Yeah. You knew one in your fucking school. My. You knew one in your fucking school. My home school. Exactly. You knew which one of your brothers and sisters would have blown that shot the fuck up. Yeah. I got it on my head right now.

Yeah. It's fucking you, Mark. No, it's not. It is fucking you. It's not, bro. My point is we could apply a little bit more prejudice to these kids. It's never a surprise. Whenever it happens, there's never all the friends that go, I couldn believe this fucking happened every single time it's like yeah he kind of thought

he was gonna do say something what is it see something say something yeah see something say something snitch call the cops the second you see them yes i think it should be more yeah we need the referral system also if you're a twitch streamer and you think that you fucking touch kids, like, let's go! Let's go! You know, more of this. Let's go. Like, just call the cops.

We're swatting the wrong people. Yeah. Swat. School shooters. All of them. Swat, swat, swat. Yeah, but you said you had fun with the one that would have been

the shooter in your school. So it's like, if you snitch on them, now you get rid of the kid. Alex, I saved the school. Do you realize I saved the school? If it was up to Jameel, we would all have been the shooter in your school. So it's like if you snitch on him, now you get rid of the kid. Alex, I saved the school. Do you realize I saved the school? If it was up to Jameel, we would all have been dead. Jameel was torturing this little motherfucker.

Okay, me, I was just tickling him and shit so he could, you know, make a choice. He still made the list. Say again? He still had a list. Yeah, once he started the list, then I had to be like, bro, okay, come on. We could do that, though.

We could have a community resource officer that's in charge of tickling all the school shooters yep at every school and that would still leave them off that is actually that shit works bro gotta leave love tickling a motherfucker that wants to shoot you that shit works if the cops got up on that roof and they're like there's no way that this goes down yeah you're right i believe that yeah no i think we need to do this send them into schools tickle all school shooters leave it love dude there it is everything everywhere all at once you know what i mean love these little fucking crazy people that's fire exactly anyway yeah so we gotta do something about them we all know who it is you know who's in your school you know that doesn't mean that they are gonna do it but they're the ones that are closest to doing it and we need

to just go to the teacher just beg yo that motherfucker's weird let's stop playing let's stop playing about it thank you it's actually on us if we have more school shootings that's true yeah like it like we need gun control we need crazy control you can't have one without the other and it's not like the women shit like you know why'd you dress that way like when they get to whatever yeah but when the school gets shot up it is that way yeah if we take both seriously you know what i mean like you knew today we're gonna do it cause the way he dressed he was in camo pants and apparently had body odor the body odor

is a dead gift every one of them don't fucking clean themselves which they should have known he was coming they should have smelled him or something smell something say something smell something say something if there's a kid in your school who smells bad

and he doesn't have enough friends to tell him to put on deodorant, And he's not an immigrant. You're fucking dead. Yeah, he can't be an immigrant.

Immigrants aren't shooters. Yeah, exactly. I got, listen, lump him in because then maybe that's enough to get him to immigrants too.

Maybe, yo, I think he's gonna shoot at the school and it's like, no, he just needs deodorant. It's like, all right.

A win is a win. That's a good statement. Then we're going to have less 7-Elevens and shit like that. Say it. We're going to have less 7-Elevens if we're stitching all these mudblocks. Yo, but the young Indians don't stink, bro. Yeah, they get fades and shit. Yeah. Yeah.

The young Indians don't stink. The immigrants just grew up in a place where there's much more smell, so they just fit in. And Asians don't have body odor. You're not going to get away with starting to fade your shit son i'm calling you out call you out the movie's coming out they announced the movie you fade what do i have to do i have to bring it back yes nigga that shit was fire so once i saw that shit go viral, did you see the kid getting everybody's attention? Once I saw that shit go viral, I was like, nah, I got to fade this motherfucker. I can't let this actually become a trend.

That kid's going to be responsible for it, not me. You know, the fact that his last search on his phone was porn. Respect, though. What else are you going to do? Rub on out. Calm down. Do we know what the video was that made him shoot a president? I need to see what

I need to see what the point of this. I think it was Lisa Ann as Palin. It was that Palin, Palin. It was a classic Now, do we know the video? No, I don't know

if they put it out. I don't think so. But that is if you're going to go through with it post-Nut Clarity he really meant it. Yeah, that's true. You know what I mean?

He wanted to not do it. So if it's Stormy Daniels and he's like how dare he do it to this angel? I got to defend this woman's honor. But we need to know what the portal was. The whitest night ever. Facts.

Okay, whatever. So now we have it. So we have the stuff on the phone? Like, was he planning? Was there stuff on the phone? We're never going to see that phone. Like, we're never going to see the Epstein list. They said he searched, like, Trump, to see that phone. We're never going to see the Epstein list. They said he searched

Trump, Biden, DNC, RNC. A lot of important people. I think he also searched former military people. No planning of the situation. Not that I've seen. Not that I've seen either. That's weird. Well, it just gets weirder because RNC happens.

RNC is a banger. The clips from the RNC go crazy. It does feel like WrestleMania. I'm not is a banger. Yeah. Like, the clips from the R&C go crazy. It does feel like WrestleMania. I'm not saying that just because the Hulk was there, but also the fact that when you have someone that can move, like, political audiences are always the easiest to move because you just say the talking point, they go crazy. Yeah.

But then when you match, like, a God-given talent to move an audience, which obviously Hulk has, with the talking points tearing open the shirt it was funny he ripped an american flag like his shirt and he ripped it and i was like wait hold on now isn't that part of the hold on now we gotta look into yeah i didn't notice that at all yeah i mean it's like an eagle and shit yeah we gotta we gotta look it was funny but i'm surprised trump let people outshine him though because like his actual speech i heard was like a bit of a snooze fit so the speech was mid but i thought that that was kind of brilliant

it's like he i was hoping he wouldn't make the mistake he made last time which is essentially when he's he's a great uh what is it called like chaser you know like um what is that, the Prefontaine, did you guys watch that Prefontaine running movie? Yeah. Like, he was like a frontrunner. He always had to be way ahead. But like, in running, it's actually most effective to be right behind the person so you can like draft them. Yeah. Right?

And so when he was chasing in that first election. Yeah, underdog. Underdog, unstoppable. And then when he was not a good front runner it was hard for him to do it because the same rhetoric just seems like bullying when you're the underdog you talking that shit when you're on top and you're doing it it's just bullying so when he gave the mid speech at the rnc all he needed to do was show up right that's really all he needed to do to be heroic like he was shot a couple days before and now he's out there you

know with the tampon on his head. He's giving a speech. And when the speech was mid, I was like, oh, he's actually playing this really well. Yeah. It was nice to see him get emotional. Like seeing him get emotional was like, whoa. Only time I've ever seen him genuinely smile is when Hulk was doing his thing. There's a great clip where it cuts away. You never see Trump smile, by the way.

Yeah. Genuinely. You never see him laugh. You can't describe his laugh. Never heard it. Oh, shit. Never heard it. It's one of the reasons why he's so funny, because he never breaks, in my opinion, because he never breaks.

So everything he does, you think is serious. Yeah. Right? So even the things he's doing sarcastically you're like is he serious yeah you never see him just laugh or chuckle and when hulk is when the hulkster when the trumpamania comes for you and he cuts out of him and he goes and he clearly has this like human moment yeah that's awesome gives this kind of mid speech he's talking about unity and it's

like oh my god it's his here we go yeah i mean you've heard him on the phone with rfk the rfk convo you guys haven't heard this yeah it's like it's a different trump in my opinion like you hear trump on stage and he's just like this like crazy energy like never really breaks like all the same shit and he's on the phone with rfk and he's like yeah like biden called me and you know i'm just not a nice guy. He's a nice guy. And I was talking trash about his policies. Oh, I didn't want to, I didn't have the heart to tell him.

But anyway, vaccines cause autism. This is apparently like what he's like in person. Like makes you feel like a superstar, love bombed. But it was just like so charming on the phone. And he was saying that. He's like, RFK, yeah, I think we need to look into the vaccine. Why don't you drop out and I'll have a place for you. You can start looking through this stuff.

That I can understand because prior to being president, he was liked by a lot of people. So it's like, I can see behind the scenes. He's actually a hundred percent. Yeah. I mean, those guys are brilliant at maneuvering period. So he knows how to move large crowds. He knows how to move one person. You know what I mean? It's like a brilliant level of charisma. Yeah. Social savant. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway. So, so, yeah, I'm like, okay, he's got this. And then immediately after that, Biden gets COVID. Do you guys think Biden has COVID? I do think he was sick.

He tried to get speedy COVID, you think? Is that what's going on? We got to look into that. I don't know. I'm just saying, it is amazing timing that he would get COVID, which would force him to step down well he hasn't blamed covid yet is the thing has he no well he it just stopped him from making public appearances yeah okay and so immediately after the peak of trump's fame he gets covid and he's fucking 81 years old you're like oh is going to take him out?

Is that how you top Trump? Does Obama sit him down and be like, Joe, we need you to die. There's only one way that we can get the energy back here and you got to fucking croak. So we're giving you the vid. Well, have you heard the theory that he's done? There's like a whole, like, this is a thing. I haven't seen a video of him. I haven't seen a picture of him.

He literally, we were talking Twitter's crazy. No, no, we were picture of him. He literally, we were talking. Conspiracy, Twitter is crazy. It's crazy. I haven't heard this one. No, no, we were talking about this. Like, he resigned like a fuckboy. Like, you've been with us for decades, and you just send a text to Twitter like, yo, I'm out. Yeah.

Like, usually you would have some sort of video. And I understand he has COVID, so it might be, you know, bad to have people in there videotaping him. But he's upset. They bullied him. They forced him to do this shit. He also can't talk. He's fucking gone mentally. Like, all the jokes that he's dead, fine, whatever. He can't talk.

I don't want to see you make another fucking statement where you fumble through every word. Off the teleprompter, he's pretty good. He's pretty good off the teleprompter. I think the point we all agree on is that when a president says they're not going to go up for re-election it's usually done in a more public forward-facing way than like a post on twitter you know with a digital

signature like he didn't even sign the shit yeah he's tight so that's that is the theory that they bullied him out essentially they definitely did and the same people that were like nah joe got this all of a sudden flip on him was my question to you guys is was that the plan all along essentially. They definitely did. And the same people that were like, nah, Joe got this, all of a sudden flip on him. My question to you guys is, was that the plan all along? Were they waiting for the, because they did it at the perfect time. They didn't do it right before the Republican National Convention. If they do it right before, then the whole RNC is addressing Kamala. They do it right after. So now all addressing of joe and everything that they did at the convention is useless because joe's out of here anyway i think we're giving democrats way too much credit they don't ever do anything correctly and they're all fucking it was i'm not here to do

this we salute you joe shit that motherfucker should have been dropped out that was selfish to you to stay in in the same way we put our put our Ruth Bader Ginsburg on all these fucking t-shirts. If she just decided, I'm in my mid-70s with cancer, I should drop out of being a Supreme Court justice while Obama's in office, Roe v. Wade might not get overturned. These motherfuckers are selfish at every turn. I don't think there's some grand conspiracy.

I think that motherfucker wanted power, and he stayed in, and I honestly think the visual of Trump getting shot and then standing up and raising a fist in the air. Think how he looks versus Joe Biden walking up a flight of steps. There's no fucking way you vote for that man. And the Democrats are inept and they're going to when Trump wins. I think it's a shoo-in and maybe Kamala is better than I think. When Trump, I don't want to hear nothing about white supremacy or racism or they didn't want a black woman to be president.

Y'all fucked it up at every fucking turn because you're selfish. You don't give a fuck about nobody. Don't blame us when Trump wins. Now, first of all, I agree beautifully said. Okay. Cold world. Very cold world that they would do that to him. Now, is there any truth that the longer they waited, the easier it would be to just make Kamala the nominee? Yeah.

That's what I suspect. I had so many different people pull me aside over the last three months, maybe even longer, that said, Joe will not make it to the election. They are going to pull him out. And they're probably going to put in. And some would say Michelle, some would say Kamala, some would say Gavin Newsom, even Hillary. Michael Malice said Hillary here. Michael Malice said Hillary. So if every one of our people that seems pretty invested politically said they're pulling him, they're waiting for the right time, and then it happens, it's hard for me to not believe that there is some potential design to this but here's where i would argue with the he's dead thing yeah because him being if he's actually dead that's no no i don't think he's dead i don't think yeah

but that theory that if he was actually dead be perfect no no i'm saying yeah no that theory yeah yeah i was just addressing the previous like is he dead thing but then in terms of waiting it would be the brilliant it would be a it would be a brilliant time to wait. Because you subvert your constituents, right? You basically remove their ability to nominate the person. And then you get to put up the person that you think will hold down the party. And by hold down the party, I really mean do what you tell them. Because I think we can all agree that Biden is just doing what people tell him. There's a few people out there, we imagine, I don't even know what the system is. The managerial class.

The managerial class. But the crazy thing is we don't even know what this is. The balls, the chutzpah to call Trump the end of democracy when right now the elected official isn't even the person making the decisions. And there are people that are kind of okay with this. They're like, yeah, but they're doing a good job. He goes, whether they're doing a good job or not,

doesn't matter. If there's a tyrant in some country that's doing a good job, it doesn't mean that he's not a tyrant. He's not a dictator. This is in a lot of ways, this is like fundamentally against the core values of the American political system. You have to have representation. If we vote for Biden, I want to know what Biden wants to do. If we vote for Trump, I want to know what Biden wants to do. If we vote for Trump, I want to know what Trump wants to do. Now, if his cabinet is what are you saying? I think that all presidents have a bunch of people around them making the decisions and then they give the cosign if they agree with it or not. I think he's still capable mentally to give the cosign on other people making decisions. Now don't think he's that far gone. Now, I will say this. I agree with you, and I do want that.

I want my president to be the best HR director ever. He doesn't have to be the expert and everything, but I want him to have experts around. But I also want to know who the experts are. So if Biden was like, hey, here's my cabinet, and these are the people that help me make all these decisions, then I would also know who I'm kind of voting for.

And I'd never really know. No, but actually, maybe, I don't know. My understanding, and I think with Trump, the idea with Trump is, I'm not trying to make it a comparative thing, is the reason why he's so volatile and scary is he won't necessarily listen to those experts. He's going to do what he wants to do.

And I think with Biden, it was like, he's going to do what the party wants him to do. He hasn't done anything to like, move the party line in any direction, right? It's been the exact typical thing that the party wants him to do. He hasn't done anything to like move the party line in any direction. No. Right. It's been the exact typical thing that the party wants. And it's just funny to call Trump the end of democracy when we're kind of seeing democracy be subverted by the Democrats as well. I'm not saying that Trump wouldn't end it, but stop acting like you're holier than thou. I think that's why people get annoyed by Democrats. They're like, there's this like arrogance and condescension with the way that they describe republicans as if they don't do the same thing

yeah and if you vote republican it's there's something wrong with you yeah that is infuriating y'all are again you're just as corrupt as them they just don't lie to us i was saying i was i was i was not fucking talking to uh but it was just about like democratic identity right now. Like, I don't know a straight dude under 60 that identifies as a Democrat. I know straight dudes that vote democratically. I've voted democratically my whole life. Yeah. But I don't know one that identifies as,

like someone's like, I'm a Democrat. Yeah. Republicans be leaning in on that shit. They are, I'm conservative. I'm a Republican. Republicans are the day i die i don't know a straight male under 60 years old that identifies as a democrat do you know one i think it's the fact that you gotta look up no because i just you gotta look up and calculate because you don't know what because they're gay yeah

they're the party of gay that's why i was just gonna say the democrat but he doesn't know if he's straight again that's the point no but i was just gonna say that i was like it's like being straight like nobody needs to be like yo i'm straight it's just like okay if you're not yelling that you're a republican most likely you're a democrat but republicans feel the need to have to yell and tell everybody. You could make that argument because they feel like they're victimized by the fact that the media is controlled, etc. And that's a good argument. Don't get me wrong.

But I also think that there's a branding issue with Democrats that they lean too far into the rainbows and straight dudes... When I grew up as a Democrat, this is how I saw Democrats. I was like... Again, this is the perception of what happened as a democrat this is how i saw yeah this is how i saw democrats i was like this is again this is the perception of what happened as a kid i was like

yo the democrats seem to like black people yeah and i like black people so i want to be with the the side that likes the black people black people make cool shit and republicans seem to hate gay people no no no no okay we're not even talking about gays yet. Republicans were seen as racist. Yeah. The branding of it. I don't know if that was true, but in New York,

it was like, yo, you're a Republican. Are you kind of racist? You know, I'm not even looking at, like, my family who's all Republicans, you know,

outside of my dad. And even the way that my dad described it to me, he's like, yeah, I grew up in, like, a Republican household, but when it came

to the civil rights, it seemed like they didn't really step up and they didn't really care, you know? And like, my dad was like, you know, he saw, I saw all my like, my brothers and shit dodge the draft. I'm the only one that entered the draft.

So you're talking all this war shit, but you're dodging the draft. I'm the only one that actually was in the army here. And you're just ignoring the civil rights thing. Nah, I'm a Democrat. So it was this this feeling of to me acceptance and like looking out for this group of people that were very important culturally to america yeah right okay so black people cool democrat you don't like black people republican

right now democrat got nothing to do with black people now democrat is gay yeah it's just like how do we protect the gays how do we make everything trans how do we make everything di and di is just gay everything right just gay women it's like women gay trans that's the only branding i feel like they don't give a fuck about black people no more they still they front like they do but but here's the thing oh they front like you do yes yes here's the and maybe all parts front like do but you gotta ask yourself this question and this is why i think that straight dudes just don't identify with it let's say that republicans are thought of as racist i think that's going away a little bit

but let's just say republicans are thought of as racist still but democrats are thought of as gay would you rather people think you're racist or gay? Gay. You'd rather people think you're gay? Gay. Because you're black, you can't be racist. Damn. For not...

He got out. That's clever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For, I think for the average dude, right? You're cool with the gay shit, obviously. You lean in with the fucking nails and stuff. But I think for the average dude, they would rather people think that they're a little racist than a little gay. Well, yeah.

They already tell you that you're kind of racist. They'll be like, oh, yeah, you got implicit racism. Yeah, you're implicitly racist living in America. So you're already racist. I'm like, all right. Well, if I'm already racist. I'm not going to be gay, too. I'm with that.

Not the nip tucks. I don't want to fuck with the nip tucks. I'm with them. Not the nip tucks. I don't want to fuck with the nip tucks. So the branding, I think that they really thought that they were doing the right thing, being progressive and protecting these oppressed people. It could come from a good place.

But they lean so far into that. Yeah, and they need some protections, but they lean so far into, you know, to your point. You alienated all the straight dudes, and now you just got a bunch of women, gays and trans that are like, rah, rah, rah, Democrats. And everybody else is like, all right, bro. How many Disney movies we got to make gay? To your point. But then why was Grindr going crazy at the RNC? Sorry, really quick. To your point.

You know who else? The public is gay, too. But they keep that shit on the low. Do you know what I mean? They on Grindr, not Instagram. That's right. Yeah, that's true. They're gay as fuck.

They're gay. Biden got the trans in the fucking, in the White House. Who? Biden day in the White House oh yeah he got his uh head uh what is it executive for energy is wearing a fucking dress and shit be like what is going on put a fucking suit on go suck cock on the weekends Monday through Friday you gotta dress like a soldier this is why we don't ask don't tell because you're wearing a skirt it is performative too it's like a lot of performative shit like come on sorry what were you saying though what were you to your point about just democratic the branding they used to be for the blue collar worker you know the head of the teamsters spoke the trump thing yeah he

called the rnc and the dnc head and was like hey I would like to speak and then DNC never got back to him RNC was like come through and speak so all your blue collar workers even if you're not union whatever you're looking at the head of the teamsters the most powerful union in the country maybe saying I'm pro Trump we're gonna fix this am I gonna vote for him or the guys that are gay gay gay

y'all aren't speaking on my behalf nobody ever talked about how MAGA a large part of what created it is those people felt like all i hear is i'm white i'm racist i have white privilege i'm poor as fuck there used to be manufacturing jobs in my town now it's a ghost town what's happening not only are you telling me you don't care you're telling me i'm privileged fuck you suck my dick i'm going he's trying to make my kids gay they still got the racist stink on them though like you have ho kogan they're speaking like oh what do you do my daughter can't date a nigga all right come on he didn't say it like that he

did say like though he's a nigger sorry yeah his daughter couldn't be the black guy oh yeah but you don't got a daughter yo you don't know what it's like one day you're gonna get a daughter okay you're gonna have a daughter then we're gonna see how you feel do you think you're more gay or racist nah i'm I'm way more racist. Yeah, I think so. Way more racist. What percent? I'm 3x more racist than gay, for sure. Yeah! I can even tell

you which racist. But you can also tell us which guys you would bang. I'm not banging no dude, but if I had to line up the people I'd be racist to, that's light work. That's light work. And I'd be open with that. Like wouldn't you like honestly al get over here like if you had to do a racist act or a gay act which one would you do first

that's a thing because there's so many racist things you could just say and most people be like yeah they do be doing that you're not even upset about it but if you have to kiss a dick for a little yeah i'm a curb stomp motherfucker i can talk all the shit he wants i know who he voting for who T voting for Trump. Facts, bro! Facts! The Trump train is coming, dude. Yo, we going MAGA on the pot, bro. We might have to go MAGA on the pot. Oh, we starting now? Yeah, starting now. What the fuck?

We was never MAGA before. You've been in the hamper too long. That's what happened. You know, the hamper is funny as shit. You sound like Elon on Twitter. Yo, we gonna be MAGA now. Yo, one of Elon's kids kids is trans and he blames the woke mind virus yeah not the fact that he's been building rockets for 20 hours a day ignoring that

little motherfucker you know what i'm saying that crazy fucking you know it's so great that's the most you know you're like 12 kids you don't spend no time shut up elon yeah it's like what do you think your kid is gonna do to get attention from you? Yeah, exactly. You know what I mean? He's going to wear a dress so you start at least going, yo, what the fuck is going on over here? Matter of fact, he's probably trying to send that little motherfucker to the moon. There ain't no gay people on Mars. Transition to another planet. But that is a good question.

Like, how many trans kids have both parents in their life loving? Okay, all right. Come on. It's just a question. It depends on what borough. Come on. It's just a question. It depends on what borough you're in. It's just a question. If you're in Wayne, Brooklyn, probably a lot. Yo, I don't know.

Also, Elon got like 10 kids. One of them was bound to be gay, statistically. Yeah. Odds are. He got 12 kids. God damn, he got 12? And only one of them. That's not bad odds, dog.

Well, my parents had seven and none of us are... But you would be if you were allowed. Yeah. We've talked about this many times. I mean, there's a gay. Do you think I'm more gay than racist? There's a gay in there. A little one.

Trying to get out. Mark, what do you think? Are you more racist or gay? Bro, I'm pretty gay, dude. I'll be honest. Last night... Are you... I mean, last night I watched like five hours of talent show singing.

Which one? The kid, Tong. North Korea's Got Talent? I watched a little North Korea's Got Talent. That shit made me tear up. I was crying. Mark's definitely a little gay. I got the other kid in me.

I got the other kid in me. Really? Do you think he's... If you were at the RNC, he'd have Grindr. Let's put it that way. I don't see him as gay. I wouldn't believe. Let's go.

I would bang a dude, but it wouldn't be a black guy. So what does that make me? Every other one. Nah, let's talk about be a black guy. So what does that make me? Every other one. Nah, let's talk about that. Nah, let's talk about that. Make some soft gay. You're not taking black dick first. Is that racist?

I wouldn't take black dick first. Is that gay or racist? Is that Asian, Mexican? Then work your way up to it. Yeah. I can't tell if that's gay or racist. Like, are you not taking black dick because I'm gay or because I'm racist? Because they look rude.

Because they look rude about it. They fuck rude. Take your shoes off in my house. Don't wear Timbs to fuck me. Come on, yo.

Yeah, take that shit. Yeah. I don't want no black dude yelling at me while I'm already getting fucked. I'd be loving. Yo, come on.

Be loving. We'll speak another language. I'll make it up in my head. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'll go mish. I'm going to go mish. No! Yeah, that's way more loving. We'll speak another language. I'll make it up in my head. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'll go mish. I'm going to go mish. No! Yeah, that's way more loving.

Y'all are so gay. This is why we need MAGA. You're fucking racist. MAGA! You're racist. MAGA! You're so racist. Son, where is Matthew Crooks when you need him, bro?

Nah, but I find it funny. Adam 22's wife, like the only dude she slept with were black guys. She went straight black when he let her do her thing. Like she's fucked three times. He's selling it. That's what's going to sell them. That's the only thing that, I mean, that's the thing that's going to make the most money. Really?

Yeah, you need the most pay-per-view. And money may well turn heel to get pay-per-view buys. It's the same thing. You put the porn category black, right? Yeah. There's no yellow. It's the most shocking. right yeah there's no yellow it's the most shocking yellow there's no yellow and that's not urine so they know exactly what he said there's no category okay and wasn't that crazy when he ate 46 rats i couldn't believe it because i've been

a fan of his for a while and I remember last year he ate 37 rats. And I'm watching Mr. Ching and I was like, yo, this guy. Nine more rats is crazy. I was like, there's no way you can consume more rats. There's truly no way you can. And I remember the crowd, they were cheering. Ching Chong. Ching Chong.

Ching Chong. Did he dip it in water and shit like that to make it so thick? Duck sauce, bro. Fire. Fire. He's mixing animals. You know what it is. You can't put a rat in duck sauce.

That's not how all of you are. Not at all. You know who else was there? Black Widow. Literally was actually there. No way. I'm pretty sure. What was happening with that?

She was just taking that rat. No, she wasn't. 100%. Dude, that's crazy. Black Widow, I don't know. You don't know? No. Let me put you on, bro. Yeah. Dude, this is the one. no she wasn't 100% dude that's that's crazy who's Black Widow I don't know you don't know no oh let me let me put you on bro

yeah dude this is the one this is the greatest competitive eater you could say let me let me pull it up let me pull it up this bitch look bad

right there oh no not that one bang wait she's actually a competitive eater yeah she's one of the greatest ever you don't know

who Black Widow is nah why are Asians good at this shit cause they gotta compete with two billion people for food you would think more indians will be in there when are y'all gonna step it up on the on the hot dog eating con can you eat hot dogs no oh fuck there's too many different animals to fuck around we didn't even know what's in there god damn yeah that's fair asians asians care about weird sports is honestly the thing they don't care about cool sports like

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kind of fire great kind of fire but that um i know this is gonna sound like i'm making like a loyal to the soil joke i'm not but the longer the game goes, the more bowling, the more pitching, it affects the grounds. So you could fuck it better. I didn't see it coming. I didn't see it coming. No, no, no. So it affects the ground and the ball starts

the ball, I guess you would call it. The ball starts bouncing in unpredictable ways later on in the game yeah so if you have i don't know if it's better if you have an advantage or disadvantage bowling but that's something that you got to calculate with it yeah i think that's yeah like a thing you never even consider imagine like the the wood started changing during a basketball game and right when you start to figure out the spin of the bowler the ground starts changing so now you got to calculate yeah everything yeah yeah we we gotta play that's tennis same thing like wimbledon they play on that's right and the later the

tournament goes the harder it is i mean this is even like you want to get to the minutiae the later the game the higher the grass grows oh shit so they have to keep the grass at a certain level but it's like in hockey where like the uh you know you need the zamboni to come and fix it anyway i thought that it was an interesting component with the coaching of... I'm very, what's the word, noob or whatever with cricket, but yeah, there's so much detail that they think about everything. Also, you could send a guy in to bowl and then take him out, and he could still go back in.

Yeah, but they can only bowl a certain number of overs, a certain number of balls. But you can mix and match throughout. Yeah, a thousand percent throughout So there's constant strategy Anyway, I'm I mean, if two billion people like something I feel like we're treating cricket The same way that Americans treated soccer

Where first we reject it And eventually What you need is the video game Yeah, and also you need America to get Once America's good, if anybody We're invested in it yeah then yeah but um i don't know who posted in the group chat like it was they were playing paddle with cricket yeah that's just laughing because you're like yo this is fire and i'm like

this is just pickleball no but that shit is heavy yeah but it's just pickleball you thought it was fire it was a hand-eye coordination it was a dexterity. True athletes. Yeah, really are true athletes. Did you see how focused they were when there was no mud on the ground? I think they didn't miss one single ball.

You know which, we're either going to have an Indian president or an Indian vice president wife. We're going to have an Indian in the White House. Yo, can y'all explain this J.D. Vance thing?

So Trump picks J.D. Vance. Who the fuck is J.D. Vance? I've been trying to research this guy all day. So grows up, born in middletown ohio big rust belt town like blue collar grandfather is a steel miner goes to yale so his mom didn't estranged from his father mom was a drug addict who like men in and out of her life whatever he gets he has to move to kentucky gets raised by his grandparents and goes to osu like really pulls himself out of whatever out of the tough situation goes to osu then goes to yale law school weird story or cool story vivek him and vivek are homies

he has three kids with he is an indian wife three kids only one of them has an indian name the name is vivek yeah it's quite possible the guy's named after vivek ramoswami i don't know they're like homies there's a thing where vivek is being asked that and he's kind of denying it but he's like we're close friends we're close friends you have to ask him about that yeah yeah but the other kids are like noah and some other christian name so gets married 2015 uh starts a venture capital fund i think and 2016 rolls around election rolls around very anti-trump fucking hates trump doesn't just hate trump the person says something about his policies i have the quote written down but something like they range from absurd to immoral or something like

that so he goes at trump as a person and he compares him to hitler as a person goes at his policies shitting on him all the time. Starts a charity in Ohio. Doing all these things. I think the charity eventually folds. 2021, he enters the Senate race. All of a sudden, loves Trump. Pro-Trump. Hey, this guy's great.

January 6th wasn't that bad. What y'all did to him didn't make any sense. I think a lot of Democrats are like, what the fuck? We loved this guy a few years ago. Because he wrote this book in 2016 called Hillbilly Elegy. What does that mean? You know know i had to look it up it's a you it's the same thing as a eulogy but a eulogy is typically written i'm sorry spoken and typically more like praise like praising and elegy is more like sad in tone and is written only so it's the same thing but it's a eulogy

for hill for like the yeah this time this part of of America that's just dying. Oh, God. It's not a movie. They made it into a movie. They made it into a movie. Ron Howard did it. Ron Howard directed it. The book liberals love. They think this is like our kind of Republican.

He's not in office yet, but we love this guy. And this is what's also funny. A lot of the book is like blaming hillbilly culture for what happened. He's like, you can still pull yourself out. This is America. Hillbillies feel like if you work hard, then's no point there's some like uh self-reflection yeah there's some pull yourself up but it's funny because liberals are like that guy's great if he was black writing that book about black people republicans would be like this guy's awesome

and then left would have been like what's up fuck you right point yeah so they love him but all of a sudden anti-biden in 2020, voting for Trump. This is weird. He says, oh, I got to know Trump. I like his policies. But it is a really fucking strong 180 when you call his policies idiotic. When you knew them in 2016, what changed in those four years? Yeah.

It seemed kind of like that's just what gets you elected. Yeah, you got asked to be the second most powerful person in the world. Yeah. But this 2021 before, so he started angling for it probably. He needed to win the election. You want to win as a Republican. I need Trump on my side. Let me just say I was wrong. That's kind of what it seems like. So how does he pivot? What does he say? So he's just like, I didn't know the guy. I actually agree with a lot of his policies. And this is where it's like, I don't hate the guy, but you're, it's just a politician fucking thing. If was genuine i'm cool with that i like the fact that people flip flop i think flip-flopping is important in life like when you get new information you should

change your mind yeah but that's too big of a flip-flop but here's where if you're doing it it's like it's impossible for you to be a person in politics and not know somebody's policies so you were either ignorant to your field, if he was in politics when he was saying this about Trump, or did he switch once he entered politics? I tend to believe the latter, and I tried to do a lot of digging on this guy the last couple of days,

and here's one thing that's like, yeah, I don't know how genuine you are. One policy that he really agrees with Trump on is stopping illegal immigration. Fine. He says, my mom... Why is that? I don't get to it He says, my mom... Let me get here. So, he says, my mom almost died,

and this is true, from a heroin overdose, from probably drugs that were shipped in here illegally from Mexico. Come on. Here's what... Here, let me get to this. My mom almost died because she does drugs. She did drugs. We could shut down the heroin. We could shut down the fentanyl, all these things. She's going to have another drug. She's because she does drugs. She did drugs. But we could shut down the heroin.

We could shut down the fentanyl, all these things. She's going to have another drug. She's going to have alcohol. Well, here's where, again, let me get there. Sorry, sorry, sorry. You're going to see this is like, oh, all right, I see what it is. His mom started as a nurse addicted to painkillers and then OxyContin. When he graduates from Yale Law School, the first law firm he works for represents Purdue Pharma, who makes OxyContin. So you got no fucking problem with Purdue Pharma, with Big Pharma.

I'll go hard at illegal immigration, but the pharma lobby, I'm not. That's fine. Also, this is even fucking crazier. His charity was called Our Ohio Renewal. And it was just I think the initiative was like, let's rebuild Ohio. Let's rebuild this part of America that I grew up in that I love. One thing that he did very nice in theory, he sent a psychiatrist to middle America to help people with Oxycontin addictions. The psychiatrist he sent was essentially on Purdue Pharma's payroll, literally did studies being like, Oxycontin is not addictive. It's not

that bad. And now you're sending this lady to get these people clean. So to me, it's just like, oh, you're kind of a fraud. You're kind of. Also, it doesn't feel like a drain the swamp guy. Yeah. It feels like a swamp creature. And I think this is where. So again, I don't know anything about him. I got to do my research. But from what you're telling me, this does not feel like this political outsider that would galvanize the Trump base. Other dots to connect that tie back into the Elon thing that you brought up earlier. I didn't even know that he was donating 40 million a month or whatever. He said that before Vance got elected or chosen as VP. Right.

So when he starts his startup in 2015, his venture capital fund, Peter Thiel backs it. fund. Peter Thiel backs it. In 2021, when he decides to run for Senate, Peter Thiel donates $15 million, which is a massive amount of money to a guy just running for Senate. So he seems to be in the kind of the pocket of these Silicon Valley guys, it would seem. Apparently Biden, Biden has done, or the people behind Biden have done some things that you should praise. They broke non-compete agreements. They are cracking down a little bit on like techno-fascism, which is like Silicon Valley. This is an interesting part of it. I've looked up techno-fascism. I asked Robbie. Robbie's on vacation. I was like, tell me about it, this guy. And he's like, just look up techno-fascism and whatever. Basically, one important part of this idea of techno-fascism is Silicon Valley doesn't

have to play politics anymore. They can kind of set the agenda. If Elon Musk wants a policy out there, instead of going to the government, he can just start tweeting about it. Maybe even theoretically, not that he's doing this, pumping tweets that push the agendas he wants, then that becomes what the voter base wants. And then the policy changes that way. Biden is kind of cracking down on Silicon Valley. Y'all shouldn't be able to just run amok like this i don't know how much he's actually accomplishing but that's his idea you you look at this guy jd vance he's already in peter thiel's pocket i'm peter thiel though that motherfucker's badass he's a badass all these guys elon musk is a badass

but he's the best gay and he's not even a Democrat. Isn't that funny? Isn't that interesting? Even the Democrats are too gay for Peter Thiel. He's more racist than gay. That's the thing. This guy fucking gets it. He's not going to let himself be defined by smoking cocks. He's a billionaire that developed all these incredible businesses. He's like an early investor in all these different startups that have now become these billion-dollar companies.

You think the only thing people want to think about him is he's gay? Matter of fact, I think he took down Gawker for Hogan simply because Gawker outed him for being gay back in the day. Yeah. Oh, wow. And they took his name. Which is low-key a gross thing. Yeah, that's gross.

Gawker's fucking gross. They're vile. That's disgusting, bro. I think you're talking about the gay. Yeah. I mean, that's... No, yeah, to be gay back in the day. Wait, no, that's not what you were saying. No. Wait, no, that's what I was saying. No, that no yeah to be gay back that's not what you know wait no that's what i was saying come on fucking aids everywhere what the hell come on

no no this gross is just out somebody like that yeah absolutely but that makes this guy seem like he's kind of in the pocket of like how is he gonna be able to manipulate people that want to get their start in tech if they already know he's gay peter thiel yeah yeah that's a good question hey millions of dollars honestly yeah that's what i'll do it no but shout out peter thiel i like that guy no i got no problem with it but it does seem like this jd vance pick happened because a lot of money got thrown behind him yeah trumpy trumpy trumpy so what does trump see in? I think he sees someone who can't overshadow him. That's probably part of it. Talk that shit.

So it's like, think about it. I think... Fucking cream puff. A little cream puff over there. Take that cream puff. Come on, man. Take that cream puff for a minute. I won't shoot you now. You just take it. All right, go, go, go. So let's start with Kamala. I do feel like four years of Biden, Kamala was silenced a little bit.

Like, hey, don't make Biden look bad. Don't overshadow him. Shut up. And that worked for Biden because people are like, I'd rather keep Biden here than have Kamala. I think Trump saw that and he's like, I don't want anyone who is like people would even want to replace me. Like Pence. Yeah. Pence.

Yeah. We need that with Pence. Yeah. But Pence was kind of like he had the evangelicals on his side and like they backed him a lot. This guy, nobody gives a fuck about him. I think he helps you seal Ohio, which you probably would get anyway. But you need that Rust Belt. You need Ohio, Michigan, all that that was election you saw the debate and i

think after the gun shit he's so far ahead he's like i don't even need anybody right now he's actually distancing himself from the abortion ship which is smart too exactly himself in project 2025 yeah this is what i hope he doesn't need the extremist anymore because he's like oh i got this shit in the back so now i don't got to extremist anymore because he's like, oh, I got this shit in the back. Now I don't got to be extreme anymore. So it's like, let me pick somebody that nobody gives a fuck about, that nobody wants to replace me because I got it. He has straight Democrats. Yeah.

He does. I genuinely believe he has straight male Democrats. Nah, I just think people are going to stay home. Which is almost a vote for Trump. Almost a vote for Trump. Yeah. Yeah, that's right. They will abstain.

Yeah. I agree. I don't know That's right. They will. They will abstain. Yeah. I agree. I don't know if people will go as far. I mean, the shooting thing, the day after the shooting of the election was there, I'm voting for Trump. But you got four months till then. So that's the thing. He could fuck it up in four months.

Like, it's so it's so tricky because when they announced Kamala, well, when Biden said, like, I'm supporting Kamala. Yeah. And then immediately Trump was like nah we gotta change the debate I'm like you don't want to give her shine come on it's a half black half Indian you ain't gonna argue with this girl nothing she can kick the fuck out of him

in the debates the fact that he wanted to change the debates he's like oh I think he's a little scared that's cause she tried to be white she can't be black as fuck in these debates this is the only time she's ever gonna look Indian throw a sandal or something so now former prosecutor against a convicted convict i mean it's a great matchup it's a pay-per-view matchup but i wonder if he's looking at it like a prize fighter like like a like conor mcgregor can't listen to every single person that calls

him out because you're just gonna give that person a shine but if if you notice, after Jake Paul's win against Mike Perry, shout out to both of them. I hope they made all the fucking money in the world. Both of them. But Conor started talking shit to Jake because he knows Jake got the energy. Jake is at a level where it's worth talking shit to. Jake wasn't initially.

When Jake was fighting the YouTubers or whatever, he wasn't big enough for Conor. But now Conor had to step out of that fight. He feels he's coming down a little bit. And this Jake guy is unstoppable. So now he talks some shit. So I wonder if Trump's looking at it like, okay, if I go on the stage with Kamala, I'm going to give her shine. She cannot create herself.

I can just create shine. I can create moments. I dodge bullets. What is this chick going to do to galvanize? I could give her an opportunity to galvanize. I'm already on top of her. High risk, no reward. Now, the American people deserve a debate. That's what I would say.

They're doing a debate. He just said, let's put it on Fox, not whatever was supposed to be on CNN. Oh, because he wants the moderators to be a little bit more. Well, actually, the last one was on CNN. You can pay for the rights to a debate. That's insane. We should not be exclusive. And the same with the state of the union address is for every network

this is should be bigger than network absolutely this is fucking insane it's insane this is like a thing that we should be objective about and I should be able to objectively vote for who I want I don't want you swaying the questions in either direction I should be allowed to make an informed vote what the fuck I don't want you swaying the questions in either direction.

I should be allowed to make an informed vote. What the fuck is going on? You can just buy the rights like it's a Super Bowl. It is tricky though, because that is like, I hate even saying this, because it sounds like such a fucking trope, but like the culture of consumption, the fact that we only really value things

that are monetizable. It's like, I know you're laughing because it does sound gay, right? The culture of consumption. But like's it's the same thing like i even talked to i was i talked to my wife about this a little bit like the reason why i think motherhood isn't valued in american culture as much as it is valued let's say in like indian culture uh is because you can't monetize it like the things you can monetize are valued. Hedge fund directors, ooh, that's valuable.

Why is that more valuable than- Teachers not valued. Should be the most valued. You can't monetize it. So when culture is dominated by money, we only value those positions that can generate revenue. And then you leave to the wayside these very important positions, i.e. teacher or mother.

You have women out here that feel like they should work even though they don't have to just to meet up with societal expectations. And then all of a sudden, they're not hanging out with their kids. Or you got, I don't want to sound like I'm taking shots at Elon, but you got a dad that got 12 different kids and he works 20 hours a week at all these different things. And you could argue that he's upholding democratic values and doing all these amazing things for society, which he is, but at the cost of what? Right? Like he might be chasing a bag, but at the cost of

what? I don't know. Sorry to derail, but you get what I'm saying. There are limitations to everything. I agree. That's why it got this way, but there's got to be a line. It started out as gay, but then I think it got to a good place. It was pretty straight. By the end, I got straight. But it started pretty gay.

Yes, beginning of straight. I started with culture of consumption. We don't give moms enough credit. I was like, I got to dig myself out of this. But yeah, you just got to, I think elections should be spin-free in those. Like, we're all going to do afterwards, spin the fuck out of it. When they're talking, let them talk. So, genuine question.

How do we decide who the moderators are then like and who makes that decision does does each is it like a juror now the jury would be decided by the defendant's lawyer right to a certain extent they get to eliminate certain jurors how does it work by both but don't don't they get to omit certain each side gets i, I think, 12 people they can knock on. Find someone each side is okay with. Yeah. But now we're going to have like a super... Now you've got the fucking Supreme Court, where you've got like the Republicans and the...

Like, what is the... But that's how debates used to be. They used to have one debate on CNN, one on Fox, one on... A neutral platform. A neutral 13 PBS or something like that. Like, that's what they used to do. When? As a kid, there wasn't even, most of us didn't even have cable.

I saw debates in 1992 when I didn't have cable. So it wasn't on CNN. There's no way it was on CNN. I remember when they used to have the, oh, the ticker at the bottom of like, oh, how much people were like scoring the debate as it was going on. And that was a cnn thing that they started every channel would play it that's it wasn't exclusive exclusive rights oh i could have swore i thought no it was on every channel one for a fact 1992 in the in the

not a declaration of independence but it's like uh they have to do it so i think that c-span it's like a government thing so they put it on all the channels but now the tricky thing is like i don't think a debate they have a commission apparently yeah they have a commission of presidential debates that is like responsible for selecting the moderate now i will say this i thought cnn did a great job with the last yeah i thought the last way was good yeah yes but i do agree with you which is like you shouldn't be able to be able to put up money it's crazy to the exclusive rights to democracy? What the fuck are we doing? What the fuck are we doing? That's the most capitalistic shit.

Exclusive rights to democracy. Yeah. It really annoys me. One thing that... You did that J.D. Vance shit great. Thanks. Hey man, you really locked in on that. We gotta send your ass to India. You absorbed IQ. That's your Tesseract.

We got to send him. Yeah, I need that. He was around so much brilliance that he came back a genius. You're talking about hillbilly elegy and shit? Yeah, son. Akash. Yeah, dude. I need to be in December.

I'm going back. I'm getting little goosebumps at this shit, bro. Okay, go on. Apparently, one thing that Trump can do against Kamala is be like, do you think Biden was senile? Do you think during you think Biden was senile? Like, do you think during his presidency he was senile? And then if she says no, then it's like, well, why didn't he continue to run? Like, what's going on?

And if she says yes, then it's like, well, why did you support a candidate that was senile in the White House? That ain't going to work. You don't think so? I read it. I was like, that's kind of nice. It's good. I don't think people will care, but it's a good. I think what will happen is I think that it's so funny how pendulums swing. Didn't we always say, even on this podcast, Republicans get in line.

Republicans get behind their candidate, and Republicans are going to support it. Now it feels like Democrats are adopting that same philosophy, where they're like, where's the party going? Is it going with Kamala? All right, give her all the money. She raised some crazy amount of money money and i don't know if that was transferred from biden or she generally i think got the most donations in it but that's also a bit like of course you only have a fucking month to donate you're gonna donate there's only a month we're all gonna give it three weeks until the yeah the dnc yeah so of course we're gonna

donate i thought that was a bit misleading yeah i heard another crazy thing go go give me give me this is a fun little just like people are talking about all the trump shooting they're saying like oh this is teddy roosevelt moment yeah because teddy roosevelt had an assassination attempt i think they got shot him and it got stopped by his whole speech he got shot it hit his eyeglass case hit his speech went into his body didn't kill him and then gave the speech where did he get shot it happened in milwaukee now teddy roosevelt gave his speech after he got shot in milwaukee and gave like an 86 minute speech and then trump gets shot goes to milwaukee for the rnc and then gives a 90 minute speech had to do it and miles pointed out he's like yo he must have gone an extra four minutes heard about this thing and he was like fuck it i'm doing a 90 minutes just a top four more years teddy

roosevelt yeah that was definitely intentional yeah he wanted to have the longest speech and be like yo after i got shot i gave a 90 minute speech which is a good move you can't fuck with me but he went off script and then it got a little boring oh that's always hurt trump in the past going off script no but you know it's so funny when he's on script it is not that same excitement that you get from trump that you get from let's say mike tyson you know i think we even said on the pod like the most engaging thing a human can do is not let you know the next thing that they're going to say and i think that's why mike is so engaging is like, even on the podcast, right. He'll be on fucking pounds of shrooms.

And then out of nowhere, he'll just start crying and telling you the importance of having no ego. You're like, what the fuck? You never know what he's going to say next. And Trump has that quality. But when he's reading off the prompter, you limit the superpower.

Yeah. Right. Yeah. So, but at the same time, this act, they could kind of backfired a little bit on this one. Well, I think when he's the underdog, the superpower is really helpful. Yeah. Right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, but at the same time... I think it kind of backfired a little bit on this one. Well, I think when he's the underdog,

the superpower is really helpful. Yeah. When he's the front runner, limit the superpower. Exactly. And then he started going, saying the same things that he says, like, I'm that dude or whatever, everybody's fucking shit,

and I'm going to do this and that. And it kind of, it took the sincerity sincerity out of we feel bad for you right now he should have milked that shit because he started on like reading the teleprompter and it was like oh shit this is a new trump yeah that's how you get the fucking people in the middle he's like oh shit okay maybe he's like changed a little bit and then he went reverted right back to his old shit yeah i think that kind of hurt that was like a misstep yeah he could have really capitalized on that moment if he's like you know what after getting grazed in the ear with some glass i'm gonna change man yeah those guys i hate it i can't even get a shot he's just he cannot help but do the funniest thing yeah at all points

when he walked over to the fireman's outfit and then kissed the helmet. Unbelievable. I think he's being genuine. I think he's being authentic. It just also happens to be the most ridiculous thing to kiss the helmet. That was part of the speech.

He was like, go over it. I think he went over to it genuinely but feeling compelled to kiss them i think that's just trump like okay what what is yes and i mean the funniest shit is when i sent you where he's doing the speech he's like i'm not supposed to be here right now and everyone goes yes you are yes you are he goes thank you but i'm not yeah i'm not like he wouldn't even he's so stubborn that they're like you're supposed to be like you

guys are wrong actually i'm not i've listened to my point he's just the funniest he can't help it he's so good yeah that's wild okay so now we get uh kamala and we see what happens in the in the coming in the coming weeks the coming months whatever. America is just the most interesting country when it comes to these elections. This shit is reality TV. It's weird that like... Yeah, I'm glued to this shit. I'm like a little... And this is not good, but I'm a little like excited.

You know what I mean? Like, it's not good. You shouldn't be excited for what's happening. It's not a reality show. It's not fucking House of Dragons. But there is this part of me that's like oh it's it's happening it's the new season yeah yeah it does finale season finale is coming yeah you think biden will be able to acknowledge the election results you think he's gonna have the mental ability to be like all right i won or i lost oh dude i lost the clip of him it was seeming like he greets that girl and he thinks it's his wife and then his wife grabs him and it's like no no have

you guys have you seen that clip uh that clip went viral he's talking to some woman and it's he seems very warm with her and then his wife comes over jill and like kind of pushes him aside and what everybody was saying is he thought that was jill like genuinely thought you know there's a picture of every little all due respect there's a picture of jill all due respect, there's a picture of Jill Young. Yeah. That could have been Jill. Yeah, come on. What do those white pictures look like? Oh, no. Oh, no.

Now, that's actually a good move, guys. Remember this. Yeah, like, oh, I thought it was you. Yeah. We know what you have, too, my boy. He almost leaned in. Yeah, you saw that? He came up with the finger. Oh, fuck. Okay. Anything else with politics before we get into this wedding?

Diddy needs to hire those people. Well, now the shooter's dead, but hire a bad shooter, because that's the only thing that can save his reputation. Nothing will save Diddy. Nah, if he gets grazed. If he gets grazed, you're going to feel a little bit bad for him. Not even a little bit. Not even a fucking fraction.

You don't think so? I mean, I don't... Give me the gun. I'll hit that motherfucker. Maybe an album. Nah, I don't think. Once that video dropped of him just fucking rag-dolling Cassie. I mean, that was insane. Al, I think that's a bad take I mean, that was insane. Yeah.

Yeah. Now, Al, I think that's a bad take. Yeah, that was the worst take I heard in a while. I'm staying on business. I'm staying on business. I'm staying on business. Guys, let's take a break for a second. When you are seriously hurt, you could be worth millions. That's an important thing to consider.

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First month is free. $5 shipping is all you got to pay for the best day of your life. You are welcome. Let's get back to the show. Akash was at the... The wedding. Yeah. What would you say in terms of history?

I'm sure there's like royal weddings that were talked about, but they weren't, they didn't happen in the social media age. Yeah. The energy around this wedding... Yeah, it was like trending. Yeah. This was our royal wedding. Okay.

Like when Meghan married Harry. Yeah. And we were all talking, this was that for Indians. Yeah. Way more opulent because you didn't have to do it in the castle. That's the other thing. I feel like this was bigger. Oh, much more.

They spent $600 million. The reason why I think it was bigger in terms is they could flex in a... What's the word that I'm trying to use? The royals have to do it in a certain way. You can't really get pictures from inside. They have to be dignified. It was on TV in America, the royal run. We were watching that shit.

Sure, sure, sure. But this shit was on social and tiktok in a way they're also allowed to flex more exactly flex culture is like it's sort of encouraged whereas like with british aristocracy flex culture is like discouraged yeah but i i hear what i was saying like yes it was this huge moment this would be the this is by far the biggest non-royal wedding in history yes it felt royal yeah You get the invite to go. I need to know like a few things right off the bat, and I want you to tell me all the stories.

Go, go. How many people are at this event? 9,000 the first day that I was there. Keep going, keep going, keep going. I heard the Sunday, they were expecting 20,000. I didn't feel like it was that much more crowded on the Sunday. Maybe we're all just tired. So there's 9,000 people at this thing. And then as it goes on, maybe more and more people are invited. I imagine you're invited to the whole thing. I wasn't invited pre-wedding, obviously, but all three of days events I'm invited.

Okay. And then it's more exclusive earlier and then gets. Yeah. Okay. You're invited to all your head going into this are you going are you thinking like where are they going to seat me you know how like there's that a little bit but i try to remind myself a month before this if you told me at the pre-wedding that i was going to be invited to the wedding yeah i would have been like you're out of your fucking mind there's no way is this like i'm trying to understand culture is this like if jay-z and be and Beyonce got married in America? It's hard.

Or is it even bigger? Yeah, they're not famous like Bollywood stars are famous, but they're like, imagine Bill Gates really wanted to flex his wealth and then married another super rich person. And then they happen to be friends with all the Hollywood celebrities from childhood. And they're all at this wedding. Okay, okay. So you go. There's Hollywood celebrities from childhood. Okay. And they're all at this wedding. Okay, okay. So you go.

There's 9,000 people. Yeah. Are you in like a different area? Nope. Because it seemed like you were rubbing. No. Okay. Everybody.

So first of all, I've been trying to, from the moment I got in, I was like, how do I describe this to the boys? Yeah. And it's so big that it's hard to wrap your mind around. Where is it at? It's at a convention center. The entire convention center is dedicated to this wedding. around. Where is it at? It's at a convention center. The entire convention center is dedicated to this wedding.

Okay. Every floor. And it's like, it almost feels like a fucking metroplex. Like each floor is its own little city. And you're walking through

what look like beautiful movie sets. Like there's that, you remember that movie I had you watch, Gangubai? Yeah. Like that old India.

There's one, like one floor where you're walking and it feels like old India. That's fine. where you're walking and it feels like old India. That's funny. And you're seeing people play sitar. If you hear music, it is done live. There was no music music.

Everything is live. You're walking through. As soon as you walk in, it's just palatial. Like just high ceilings, beautiful carpet, decorations everywhere. They completely renovated this convention center. Entire convention center is dedicated to this wedding. What's parking like? Oh, you don't even park. You just pull up. Like you're getting an Uber,

you're getting a driver. They had a driver for me the whole weekend. So everything for you is curated the entire time? Yes. Because they're so on it. Like I said, they curate everything. They took care of the flights. They took care of the hotel. They took care of the car. I just have to be there. You're getting a driver to and from every event. You show up for the first day. Yeah. Is there seating? Is it just everybody? So the first event, do you remember when I did the Bharat? Do you remember when we were in the parking lot of the Grottoir and I was in a little tuk-tuk? So the idea is you are a king and you are going to meet your queen. So the whole kingdom, which is your side, is out dancing and celebrating. That's the first thing I walk into, The whole kingdom, which is your side, is out dancing and celebrating. That's the first thing I walk into.

That. But with them, it's inside, air-conditioned, but it's like 9,000 people. And whereas my Bharat was like an hour, and you're like, by the end of it, everybody in every Indian-American wedding is like, come on. We're done. We're tired. This one was four hours, but you come and go as you please. We literally left in the middle, got Jai, hung out for like 30, 40 minutes, then just walked back in. And this is the fucking craziest thing. You walk in, you see all these Bollywood stars.

Beautiful. Like, all of them look better in real life. But they are friends with this kid since childhood. So they're in the bridal party. They're all dancing in a little circle. No security around them. If you wanted to be an asshole, you could just bully your way into that. It's amazing nobody did it. But you could just bully your way into the dance circle, talk to everybody,

give everybody high five. Like I'm looking at massive, massive stars, no security. We're all just there. Thousands of people. How many people there would you say were familiar with you and your work? So a good number of people one bollywood actor actually came up to me it was like i'm a fan i really like what you do that's awesome which was fire uh shouts to ritesh deshmukh i really appreciated the love because that made me feel like dude one one person knowing me yeah i'm unbelievable um but so this other kid ranvir alabadia who helped these podcasts or shouts to him fan of the pod this pod as well helped me get there he was like i'm telling you a lot so i got recognized with him right yeah i did a pod with him beer biceps yeah beer biceps is his ig handle yeah uh but he told me a lot of a decent number of people

approached me and he was like honestly a lot more would have but there's like a respect thing here yeah and there's like an like the weird thing with you as like an nri meaning you don't live in india they look at you a certain way he's not as approachable so there's like the weird thing with you as like an NRI, meaning you don't live in India. They look at you a certain way like he's not as approachable. So there's actually even more people. You're like a Kardashian. There's a huge flagrant fan base. Sick. Like huge.

That's fire. So many people like unarmed by childhood friends are like, yo, we love flagrant. You tune in all the time. That's fire. Respect. So like fans, shout out to them. They were so sweet. My gang.

They don't mind the jokes. Love it. Clearly. Love it. Love it clearly love it love it and it was cool because it did i didn't feel i thought all his childhood friends would be like kind of pretentious assholes it's felt like a whole family vibe the whole time celebrities dude there's one guy his name is gut and jordan i want to shout him out because like you know how women love the titanic here in america this director he's not even an actor

director he's directed like six movies like that, that women love that much. So I saw this guy literally every 20 seconds in the bottom, a girl asked him for a selfie. And every single time, great energy, take the selfie, get back to it. Another guy, my wife asked for a selfie. He takes a selfie and I say to him, we're next to each other,

hey man, thank you, that meant a lot to my wife. He puts his arm around me. He's like, hey man, don't worry about it. I got a wife too. I know what you gotta do. You gotta keep him happy. Something like that. It that it's loud i can't hear him i'm pretending i can hear him yeah dude the fucking most embarrassing thing i expected bollywood starts to be there so i'm like i'm kind of cool about it yeah i didn't expect indian cricketers to be there oh wow game over so this guy harvard bundia he's the one that you said can't be Indian because he's so swaggy. Oh, yeah.

He walks by. I swear to God, he's this close to me. I'm maybe here. He walks by. I look up. I see him. I go, Harthar Pandya! I scream his name.

He didn't need the fucking courtesy of pretending he didn't hear me. But I had to grab myself and be like, you're 40. What the fuck are you doing? Now, we're allowed to lose it for athletes man i was like yeah i realize athletes are different but i was like this kid is at least 10 years younger than you this is a child to you why are you screaming like that at him it was so fucking embarrassing but it was just like dude i couldn't believe how cool the vibe was and how cool everybody no pretension it was a fucking awesome experience that first day

especially where were the the western famous people situated like is kardashian near you is who else is i didn't see kim john cena i missed but i know john cena was in the bar dancing john cena was in the mix he was in the mix oh yeah nobody could see him but he's in the mix i know people that got selfies with him he was in it okay i didn't see the kardashians whatever i didn't see them at all really but we saw other western famous people also was fucking crazy again i told you if you hear music it's being done live i hear calm down that remy song i look over it's remy doing calm down wow does two songs leaves fire can on that other guy he comes up does two of his bangers leaves another massive indian rapper ap talon comes up does two of his bangers leaves like if you hear a song that you like it's the motherfucker that did the song doing the song

so that's what we're dancing to that's fine and again i'm so happy to be here i don't feel self-conscious i'm dancing my ass off i don't give a fuck who's looking at me y'all can judge me how you want to you're not gonna remember me tomorrow you didn't recognize me in the first place so i'm having a time in my fucking life that first day especially food is crazy but the problem is in that but you're like walking with everybody and you're trying to kind of i'm so mesmerized by these bollywood stars i'm like kind of trying to stay around them so we missed all the fire food stands there's like tiramisu with caviar all this crazy shit i missed all that but that was the first day you just saw everybody yeah dude we're waiting for parking this guy salman khan is there he is oh salman khan top three shadow is the one that i fucking would lose it over i would shadow

khan is the one i'm he's the one i would he was there i didn't see him thank god for me i met his son son is a very sweet kid yeah uh but i didn't yeah someone con is top he might just be as big maybe top two three probably top five of all time he's just waiting for a car at gate 19 with me i just see him kind of standing no security no nothing just waiting saying what's up to people wearing like a fucking nine hundred thousand dollar watch or some crazy shit like that. Un-fucking-believable. Saturday event. So because the prime minister comes, if you get there after him.

Modi? Modi shows up. If you get there after him, they don't let anybody in. Obviously, they actually take security seriously in India. So we didn't get to go to the actual ceremony because he got there fairly quickly. And we assume indian wedding i'd be an hour late oh no but then we go upstairs this dinner area they have food what was

that conversation with you and your wife when you were you were late because she was getting ready you know what i didn't realize how many stars were going to be there i would have been upset if i knew i thought we were all going to be late and i was like everybody's gonna be late everybody's on time this one fucking day so then i was tied afterward but we go upstairs and be like nah we were boycotting on behalf of the job yeah we're the farmers exactly yeah we're for the farmers so we go upstairs and it's like when i say they have food from dubai and food from singapore i mean they have restaurants this is cool this is cool they have and i'm assuming this is like unidentified favorite places.

They have Italian food from a restaurant in Dubai. There's a guy, asshole Oswell fan, from Singapore, has French food. The French food from Singapore is catering to the thing.

You go sit at a table, they bring you whatever you want to. You take a look around. The food from those restaurants is literally the people from those restaurants went there. Which is in a giant ballroom.

It's like 15 different restaurants with food. And outside of the ballroom, the entire hallway, 100 yards of desserts. They're making fresh waffles. They're making crepes. They got gelato. They got cupcakes with flowers on them and then edible flower petals. Like any fucking dessert you can fathom is there. Is there any like Indian dudes like sitting cross-legged, mixing a soup with their feet, and real traditional street food.

No, no, not at all. They had Indian street food, but it wasn't traditional enough. That's the problem. Damn, that's the shit I like. Yeah, I know. I was a little authentic in that way. But then we go sit at the ballroom. This is when it's like, oh, this is fucking crazy, the caliber of people that I'm with. My wife and I are sitting at a table. We're alone. This sweet girl comes up. She's in her 20s. She's like, hey, is anybody sitting here? We're like, no. And she's like, can my mom and I sit here? We're like, of course, sit down.

We start talking, 20 minutes. She asks, how do you know Ananth or Mukesh, whoever she says? And I'm like, I don't. I just don't. I'm like, I don't. And they're like, she's like, what do you mean? I'm like, I got invited. I showed up.

She kind of chuckles. I ask, how do you know the Ananth? And she's like, oh, I know Mukesh. We are on this board together. And I'm like, oh, OK. I ask, where dounified and she's like oh i know mukesh we like are on this board together and i'm like oh okay i ask where do you live she's like oh california and new york so i'm like okay she's got some money she asked me what i do we start talking i ask what she does 20 minutes into the conversation she goes oh we own teams like sports teams not like arrogantly very sweetly it was like oh we own teams sports teams and i was like what and she

was like yeah we own i'm not gonna say which team but i'll just bleep it she goes yeah we own i go which team she goes and i was like and then just lean is like yeah we've heard of them she's saying it like we haven't heard of it big drop off from yeah yeah yeah you could say we own sports team you know what you know what's funny though is she's probably gonna make the greatest greatest ROI on the second one. At what point did you look at your girl and be like, this is pretty sick, right? Son, the whole time.

She was like, at the moment, she was a little anxious at how small fish we were. And I was like, we're here. Jesus, what are you talking about? You're there. Yeah, like, this is crazy. We're here. They don't need to know who I am.

I'm here. You can't kick me out now. There's always going to be somebody more wealthy. There's always going to be somebody more wealthy. There's always going to be somebody more successful. But you got to, it's good that you were able to stop and just be like, hey, a few years ago, we were living together with three roommates at Airbnb to make ends meet. And now we are guests. Yeah.

Insane. I mean, just an insane, like, I i really of all the moments i've had this is the number one i've made it moment in my life and not to say i'm done or whatever but like oh i this is a thing that i'm gonna remember forever outside of actual the craft and specials and all that this is number one like what a fucking validation the validation and as a kid who grows up outside of india you're never really validated by india and it means so much because america to americans we're indian yeah and then we go there thinking we're indian and they're like no you're not yeah you're american you're american as fuck

so that felt like yo and then seeing bollywood stars it's like imagine y'all grew up in china and the only connection you have to america is movies. Imagine if you went to America and saw Tom Cruise. Like, that's the level of what, oh, my God. This is unbelievable. That's what I'm feeling. And then, yeah, we touched on this earlier, but, like, I think this was also cool. When we talked about Anant, when I saw him interacting with his wife, genuine love. The pictures of them interacting, they're,'re like giddy to be with each other and that was fucking cool because like yeah this wedding is about

the ambanis establishing themselves on a global scale it's about changing the perception of india all these things are happening but it's very cool that it's an actual love wedding you know what i mean like not a love marriage like they fell in love and they'll see if they can make it work but they're like they've been together since like high school childhood friends super in love and it's like yo this is just a fucking great experience all the way around that's fire shout out you They're like, they've been together since like high school, childhood friends, super in love. And it was like, yo, it was just a fucking great experience all the way around. That's fire. Shout out you.

Thank you, man. You're Illuminati now. For real. I can't, I'm so happy to be there. I've been dreaming of selling out and I just, I'm very honored to be asked to do it. Now, that wasn't the biggest event that you went to. Yeah, you had to leave.

Yeah, I had to leave. You had to leave to go to something else. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, something that was potentially, this is like the American Imbani. is it really is and it's a real full circle moment for me as well okay i went to the 7-eleven the national 7-eleven franchisees convention i mean bring back a poo to this like it just look at god dude you know what i mean like i asked for this okay i manifested are you Are you performing at it? I'm performing at it. Now, before you perform, are you interacting with people? I got there the night before, because I went straight from India.

Yeah. Got there the night before, saw a few people, but I hate seeing people before a show. Yeah, yeah. I fucking hate it, because it's like, this is a private gig especially. What if I bomb, and then you're just going to remember me being this fucking cocky whatever. You know what I mean? I hate it. Yeah.

So, I'm trying to not see too many people, but you also don't have much time yeah we go there for sound check ceilings are dumb high it's another one where it's like oh god we'll see what this there's a crazy fucking echo on the microphone i'm like oh boy here we go different convention center i get there these indian motherfuckers jip me dude these good juice i perform for a certain fee and they tell me it's pg-13 i'm like all right this is what i would do with pg-13 i get there and he's like hey by the way you can't cuss and i'm like you got me you sons of bitches because i definitely charge a lot more i can't cut what the fuck yeah i just cussed yeah you know what i mean yeah so i'm going there and i'm like i'm a cuss yeah yeah i don't care y'all not gonna

tell me what to do good i get first all, they're doing some charity auction. The chairman of the whole convention keeps complaining about the Echo. He's like, what's going on? He's talking to Mike. He's like, this Echo is killing me. So I'm like, I got to go to 40 minutes of comedy after this. Mark's boy, Ross, opened up. Shout out to Ross.

He did his thing. Brought me up. And I'm like, I'm ready. I'm doing my thing. I'm cussing. I don't give a fuck what y'all got to tell me. I look. I see all families. And there's a six-year-old girl, a seven-year-'m doing my thing. I'm cussing. I don't give a fuck what y'all got to tell me. I look, I see all families and there's a six-year-old girl,

a seven-year-old girl, an 11-year-old girl right in front of me. Right in front, the closest human beings to me. So I'm like, I can't. Now I have to perform clean. Or you could just auction them. That would have been a good idea. Come on, I don't work for Mr. Beast.

I just, I mean, mean i just i had to i did like a little crowd work that was like what do you want to be when you grow up and they were like a teacher and i'm like oh that's so sweet i want you to know your parents hate that answer like just little jokes that i could get away with that aren't remotely inappropriate but then i still got to do 40 minutes of comedy cognizant the fact that there's children that is the worst so bring your kids any cuss word that isn't a punch line i have to edit it it's not hitting i got through it they were all very happy afterward but like hi yay yay i should have known when i was doing an indian gig that it was not going to be worth the money i should have known but it's still such an honor what percent was indian versus oh this was so funny if you were indian i knew you owned a 7-eleven and if you were white i knew you were a vendor trying to get your products celsius is there trying to they want to say they want to slang these drinks god bless

if you're at your celsius or your fucking core water or whatever every white person like you don't know but that must have been a wet dream to see all these white people groveling oh yeah oh and even at the ambani wedding europeans are serving me food like Every white person is like, you don't know nothing. But that must have been a wet dream to see all these white people groveling for respect. Oh, yeah. Oh, and even at the Mbani wedding, Europeans are serving me food. Like, not even white people, Europeans. I mean, what a fucking, like, just like the white people. You know what I mean?

Like, oh, not J.D. Vance whites. I'm talking fucking. It's like Forrest Gump at the end. Yeah. When she gets the white maid. Yeah. Oh, dude, what a time. Oh, watching these white people grovel and serve. Oh white mate yeah yeah oh dude what a time oh watching these white people grovel and serve oh i got the fucking what a weekend did people come up to you

at all and they and say like hey thank you for doing bring back a poo or that nobody you know it's funny and this is how how much the coast thinks they matter and they don't yeah i asked i was like i would i was gonna do some apu jokes and then these guys are young guys born in america they live in Jersey, obviously. And he was like, what happened? They like got rid of him or something, right? And I was like, yeah, it was like a whole thing. The documentary is like, yeah, I think I know about that.

And I was like, oh, I was going to do some jokes about that. He goes, nobody's going to give a fuck. Wow. Yeah. So I didn't do it, but I felt it, but they didn't give a fuck. That's so interesting. It's so, we's so we're so detached here we are we were so attached here we don't realize how detached everyone else is yeah

they don't care yeah they care about free things this ain't making the list yeah wow yeah oh that's so funny did you tell him like yo i just came from the ambani wouldn't they i told one person he was very excited i would have opened with that yo i got on stage i had no material about it yet i'm still so thankful to fucking get invited yesterday i'm at the embodiment like today i'm at this shit it's that simple yeah i might have mentioned it on stage actually i might have thrown it out there but i don't i definitely didn't get a big pop off of it that was god i hate this term it you know and what do they call it when you're i heard this term in the in the black rooms actually but when you're like really up against an audience slavery so no

when you're fighting against a lot of obstacles and the crowd is kind of like doing their own thing you got to really fight to get their attention mud fighting is what they call it so oh gosh so my first thought was the gift that keeps giving i know i know because my first thought was oh this is gonna be a mud fight and i was like i can't say that on flavor but i have to be honest so what'd you say a love affair i said no i actually came at the end of the set a couple times bro oh what an experience dude what a weekend we talked about moving there we're like oh yeah orlando it is awesome it is nice yeah no but you talked about moving to any like spending some part of you that you're there or full like spending some part of the year there or full

time? Some part of the year, at least. Dude, that'd be, what would be the ideal time to go? Hopefully it aligns with our schedule. Yeah, that would be, yeah. Whatever we do, it'd have to align with the schedule. Like, is summer there too hot? Well, where my mother-in-law lives in Bangalore, it's perfect year round.

It's LA weather. All year. So then that's your Hamptons, bro? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So this wedding was that nice. You're like, yo, I'm buying a place. I's perfect year round. It's LA weather all year. So then that's your Hamptons, bro. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So this wedding was that nice.

You're like, yo, I'm buying a place. Yeah. I think about it honestly, every time I go back, but also. This is a no brainer.

If, if for a certain amount of time. Yeah. Yeah. Also the cost of like living, like the cost of being, so the guy, this guy,

Thunme, but big comic out there, Shasta Thunme, he was talking about. Yeah. Just say this guy. Cause whenever you get into their names, itunme, bought a big comic out there. Shouts to Thunme. He was talking about... Just say this guy, because whenever you get into their names, it just sounds like we're muting the audience. Yeah. There's a guy there.

Thunme's not it. Every name has been the exact same name. The only name I heard was Radhika. There's guys talking to me about the fuck you number in in fires the number financial independence retire early in india it's about one million dollars u.s so you have one million u.s you never have to work again the money that you make yeah will supply your and you're like rich you're rich forever wow so you could have you could have a place there where you live for a certain amount of time, but you could also just live full time there.

Yeah. I mean, I think. Then you'd be away from the boys. I know, I know. I wouldn't do that, but I think. But a place there is great. A place there. And like, I grew up so disconnected from my roots to have kids.

I'm fucking crying talking about to have kids that feel connected. Yeah. Go there and like make fun of my Hindi. Yeah. Tell me how white I am. Yeah. They feel like that's home as well. god so what so what would be so much to me what would be like an uh you would you do july and august to go there or yeah i get maybe like a summer or yeah yeah i mean ideally you live in a few different places honestly but like that is a

place that's two places there or india fucking california spain like that'd be great to be able to live everywhere but with kids it's all you know it's all influx that's that's go go would you host us like we wanted to come by and do a pod host the fuck out of you yeah i mean we would have to do that if you had a place in it we'd have to go once a year yes for a week yeah just come on servants come on i don't like to host you we're not gonna be servants oh you mean shit we would hate when i host you let's tell not going to be servants. Oh, you mean you're going to host us? We ain't doing shit when I host you. I tell them what to do. Son, that's kind of fire.

I like that idea. Is Bangalore, where is it located geographically? Like where, is it on the water? Is it? It's south. And I want to say west, but I don't know geography, even America. I don't even know where the fuck. Ask me where Maine is.

I got no clue. But like, what I'm saying is, do you get a house on the beach? Do you get a house... We did this on the pod once. We talked about how I think Akash said... South Central. There you go. Akash once said Bangalore was on the beach. And then everyone made fun of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's fine. It's enough global warming.

Jen and I have also heard it's beautiful. Most of my family's in New Delhi, but it's too fucking hot. What's the... Let's all get a time share. Goa is flame. But you could get on that beach. If you get a compound on the water, we come out for a couple weeks.

Al keeps shaking his head. Anytime we say any and any word, he just starts shaking his head. Very disrespectful. He's good at it, though. That's Goa. Look at that and they're catholic yeah and is that the beach where like all the indian dudes no no no no no no no no

never never that go is the greatest go is the great palm trees yo i'm i'm kind of feeling this goa move what about goa my boy i would i would i'd be open to go too i just want my kids to be to feel indian they won't feel indian there bangalore will be more indian how indian you want them to be very dude there's some my friend was telling me there's some people that grow up their kids don't even speak hindi they're so removed from they're growing up in india but so many rich people go to western schools all they don't even speak hindi i'm not doing that if i'm going to india we're going to india let me see what we got going on just give them just give them a month that's gold right there all this shit yeah the catholics coming through with that bro i was gonna say the same thing yo catholics got fat tits in india that's

what i'm saying bro i ain't never seen indian tits like this i know that hey man yeah catholics got it going that's what i'm saying bro she even almost got abs you know we might have to do to go man we might i think go is the move i'm open can you go to zillow in goa i need to see some properties in go oh dude it'd be astonishingly affordable it's 83 rupees for a dollar but when people do that 83 rupees to a dollar when they do the conversion thing things are more rupees over there like a coke is like 30 40 rupees or whatever but it's still you're just okay so there's still a difference got it i need it on the water bro if you're going for it let's go for it do you need to do like security

would you need to have like fenced and everything oh fuck are we talking about dude you're not worried about that at all why don't scare me come on i grew up with my i didn't grow up with i know black people i'm scared yeah but you're still small that is i have a real con like when you leave new york you have a real like overconfidence and how tough you are i'm like this shit don't scare me oh you know i mean like you go to cincinnati or whatever you like it's like a st louis you're like this shit ain't scary and then you read about st louis and you're like i should be scared oh gosh the beach compound in india that you go to for the summer flames that's kind of a vibe idea it's kind of a vibe bro you walk this one down come on gosh he need to be on the sand bro this is great i think this is damn damn near yeah this is fire come on you cop that bro you got how much

is that let's look that up let's do the oh we oh we looking at some water i mean i would prefer you right on the water but whatever we could work things out i would prefer he's right on the water i would prefer no i agree a mil seven don't take a mil. 1.7 mil for a 4,200 square foot loft? That's not even bad, dog. On the beach? No, that's expensive. I think that's expensive. I don't.

I don't know. I feel like that's pretty good for that. I'm not really familiar with the Indian housing market, to be honest with you. Relative to America? I feel like, come on. On the water? Yeah. 400,000 square feet?

That's a $10 million house in Cali. Yeah. It is an apartment, though. It's not like a... We need a compound. I $10 million house in Cali. Yeah. It is an apartment, though. It's not like a... We need a compound. I think we need to own the land. Yeah. We got to look.

Yeah. Yeah, we'll get this going. All right, we're going to figure this out. That would be fire, though. How about y'all? Y'all do anything interesting? Nothing like this. Al had trouble with his flights or something.

I don't know. Entire weekend. But it was just that whole outage situation. What happened with the outage? Microsoft, dude. A fucking automatic update, apparently. It's a company called Strikeforce. And they sent out an automatic update that bricked a lot of computers.

Blue screened a ton of computers. Every computer. Basically all computers. And the problem was that they can't fix it automatically. It wasn't that they, oh, we fucked up. we'll resend another update or revert all the computers all the computers had to be manually fixed oh yeah so like encrypted you have to put in the 48 digit code to like get it back online so if you're like a college with like 1200 computers on it yeah it's a long weekend oh and then it shut down all the flights and it's like the least it was

like one of the times where it shut down the most amount of flights since like 9-11 oh wow yeah crazy amount of every airline except who was alaskan air and spirit a spirit don't give a fuck they don't update their computer they go by sexton they're still going by the moon but yeah it was it knocked everything out so no one could fly yeah we were delayed as fuck coming but it got resolved fairly quickly it didn't affect my life at all nothing if you the only way you feel is going on coming back yeah bro it is supposed to be back yesterday and then push my shit 24 hours oh so it's still effective yeah it's still like a chain effect because everything got backed up yeah so now the problem is getting flight crews because

they have a certain amount of time they're allowed to work. And so when you try to pull people from different crews and then if they're about to go over their time, they're like, oh, not you can't fly on this plane because it's going to go over the time. So now cleared up by Friday. Yeah, it's going to be bad for a while. Oh, you think it will be bad? Yeah, it's still. Oh, yeah. Just yesterday. Like my flight got pushed 24 hours because they didn't have three crew members.

Miles got it the worst. Miles bought NCAA football and I paid extra money to play it early. You can play it on the Friday or you can pay extra and play it for three days. How much extra? Like $100. To play it three days early?

$100? $50 maybe. Okay, just real quick. Do they have generational teams? You know how you could play? As the Mannings or some shit? Yeah, like back in the day. I'm not certain.

I don't know. Could you play Sandusky, Coach, Penn State? Probably. Yeah, maybe. Like a Paterno version. A what version? Joe Paterno. Joe Paterno.

Joe Poth. Joe Poth. But but yeah he got it three days early spent 100 bucks and then couldn't play until the day it was you gotta get that money back miles microsoft's having a lot of problems i'll get it yeah you'll get it oh it's xbox yeah microsoft dog what the fuck are y'all doing one of the fun things about the post-truth era is that when these global cataclysms happen, we're so desensitized because we're just hearing fucked up shit all the time. I was way too calm about everything that happened in the last two weeks. And it might have been that I was out at the Hamptons and I'm chilling and like, dude, the president got fucking shot. I'm like, oh my God, like his paddle going to be open. It's so easy to just be in your bubble. And I guess maybe that's what happens to New York and maybe more so California, New York, you actually have to be in the street. You have to like walk places, but imagine like,

you're like a rich person from California. Right. And you're living most of your life in your house, right? Some shit happens. It's really fucked up. But then you go walk on your yard and you look out to this beautiful view. You take a swim in your pool. Like it doesn't feel as annoying. It doesn't feel as stressful. Like in New York, you feel it. Like when the Black Lives Matter marches were happening, like you couldn't avoid it. Like you see it. It's right there. They're not feeling that shit in Santa Barbara. They're not feeling that shit in San Diego when you're living in this like beautiful two acre house. And out there, out east, man, nobody, nobody was, people were joking around about it.

They said, yeah, there was assassination attempt on Trump. Like they shot him like five times and missed. And then I can't say who, but someone was like, yeah, bro. I thought it was Bronnie James. Like it was people just joking around. Like it was nothing.

Yeah. And what is that? Like, I don't know. Why are we so desensitized to these things that are, they should like. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I was, it was wild how desensitized I was to the initial, the, my initial reaction was like, all right, here we go. I just got to deal with people yelling. That's what I was to the initial, my initial reaction was like, all right, here we go. I got to deal with people yelling.

That's what I was annoyed by. That's funny. For me, it's the opposite. Tell me. I was just glued to every news station. I wanted to get updates, find out all the tea. Like, I was, this shit was like the fucking Super Bowl. I was interested in tea, don't get me wrong. But like, so I had one of my boys hit me, and I will protect his identity, but a friend of all of ours.

And he hit me, he said, you got to get security for your family. He goes, get security for your family. Shit is about to go down in America. Anybody talking about these political issues could potentially be a target. You got to be ready. You got to lock down. Be careful out there. I love you, brother.

And I was like is paddle gonna be the only thing i could think about yeah well i think urgency is a greater thing than importance explain yeah i mean like the president getting shot at is like more important than like your kids football game yeah your kids football is like more urgent you know i mean like on like a grand scale so you're like yeah i gotta go my thing today or like i have work or whatever the fuck so like yeah you just or what's in front of you like my whole family lives in the suburbs like they were talking about but they're just like yeah we had a birthday party for my niece so they all went out and just like drank and

you know i mean like i want but i truly wonder i remember being younger and i hate to chalk this thing up to like having a little bit more financial freedom, but like, I remember being younger, being so invested in everything that happened, like watching every fucking YouTube video that would come out about this issue and that issue. And maybe I just have like, I mean, I don't know if you guys feel this way, but like, maybe there's like an exhaustion that happens with it. Yeah. And you don't have more shit to tend to.

That's true. I mean, you have a wife, you have a baby. My baby's like engaging with me. Oh, dude, it's... That's urgent. You get to make her laugh and like you get you guys, that you connect. Like she spilled some shit for the first time. I was like, oh, it's a lit.

I went and got my wife this coffee that I knew she really wanted. And the straw was sticking out of the coffee. And she hadn't even taken a sip. And she put her sugar in it and put her cinnamon on top. She's ready to have the perfect coffee. And I saw the baby reach for the straw. And I was like, get that shit. Knocked that whole fucking coffee down. I was like, what's happening?

This is happening. The coffee assassination is more interesting. Way more. It's more urgent. Exactly. This is kind of fucked up. I don't know if we have to cut it. So I went to the gun range when I was out in San Diego.

And I'm like, I wonder how hard that shot was. So I tried to put the target out the same distance. But the range it was at, it only went 100 yards. And how far was the shot? 300, 400? Oh, I thought it was 160 yards. That's it? Yeah, I think so.

This guy's a loser. Yeah. This guy's a fucking loser. It's hard to impress outcasts, bro. You gotta have a $600 million wedding for outcasts, man. Yo, execute or don't, dude. Execution is worshipped. You know what I mean?

Literally, execute. Okay, so you win it. I put it all, as far as I can go, 100 yards, and I was using a rifle. Hit it multiple times. Not bullseyes, but it's like we had the person target and all shots hit. You hit body though, because I saw what you posted on Instagram. I was aiming

for body. But my man was aiming for head. He's a hero. Well, he's an idiot. You can't aim for body. Bigger target. No, but body, you assume that they got the vesti on. So you got one of those big ass bullets. It goes right through. That shit is, that's ticking them out. Really? Even the, it will go through a, what is it called?

Kevlar. Kevlar. Kevlar vest. Well, I don't know about that, but he would, Trump wasn't wearing Kevlar. I would imagine they put him in a. No. You think he wears Kevlar when he's like doing a. You think they put him in like a minimum vest?

Like a, like a cheap vest? No, I just. Like a Hanes. Don't think he's wearing anything. I thought it's like, hey... You think they put him in like a minimum vest? Like a cheap vest? No, I just... Like a Hanes. Don't think he's wearing anything. I thought it's like, hey, this is supposed to be secure. Either no vest or whatever the best vest is. He's not doing anything in between. No, no, no.

I imagine they would clown him if he wore some shit and it was obvious. They'd be like, oh, he's scared. But you should be scared. Bro, we were looking up the stats. You remember this, Mark? We were looking up the stats of the amount of presidents that have been, there's been an assassination attempt on. It's coming in at like 25%.

Really? That's the most. Let the record show, all of them have had attempts. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry, sorry, sorry. How many have actually been shot? Yeah, three have been shot, four have been assassinated.

So that's seven. I thought we got up to 12 with... So then there were other ones where it's like bullets got fired past them. And then like someone threw a grenade at Bush one time. Yeah. And the shit just didn't go off because it had a handkerchief wrapped around it. Oh, shit. There's so many of those.

So we're looking at, I think we got to 12 where there was like a bullet actually missed them or hit but a bullet was shot at a job where 25 of the people are in killable situation like literally that's more than ice road truckers that's more than the gas station attendant like yeah yeah this is a... I don't know. Maybe I'm detached from how dangerous being president is. I don't think most of us are. I don't think most of us

know the numbers. They all have assassinations. Everyone. How did Barry make it past? Barack? Oh, he had a bunch. There was a dude that shot bullets

at the White House thinking that he was outside. And then there was a bunch of other ones that just got mad. Take the shot you get, bro. But there was the he was outside and then there was a bunch of other ones that like just got to take the shot you get but there was the thing i remember when barack that's like what happened to you with the parking lot shots like barack rolling on the ground everybody's like they probably got bulletproof glass but uh i remember i remember when we were in dc there is a a restaurant we ate at do you remember this restaurant we ate at it we you actually came to

the hotel yeah capital i think it was the Capitol Hotel or something like that, or the American Hotel, whatever the fuck it is. And it's literally across the street from the White House. And at the restaurant that's on the roof, you can look down on the White House. You look down on the lawn and you look down on, there's the lawn in the front and there's the lawn in the back. And I saw that and I was like, oh, the president just can't walk around. Yeah. Like, because nobody checked me for weapons or nothing. I just walked into this and I went upstairs to eat calamari.

If I had anything. So when your president. Stop giving them ideas. I know. I feel bad even saying it, but like low key, it made me feel like a little bit of empathy for them. Like they are in a shoebox the entire presidency. And that's why they gotta go to Camp David.

Camp David is walk around outside. Yeah, they can drive on Camp David. That's the only place where presidents are allowed to drive a car. But then Trump's at his fucking golf shit. Because they could block it off. From people getting inside. Gotcha. So I almost almost i'm like

yeah you need i need to get out yeah like i would i can't be just sitting in a fucking overalls all that yeah bro gerald ford almost got murdered by two women at separate times they pulled the gun on them and like one of them misfired and the other one didn't have any bullets go figure andrew jackson they try to shoot him the guy pulled out a gun gun misfires throws it down pulls up another gun that one also misfires. Throws it down. Pulls up another gun. That one also misfires. And then Andrew Jackson beats the shit out of him with a cane. Fire.

That's so sick. They try to pull him off. They go, yo, let me have him. And then he starts beating the shit out of him. Let's go. And it took down the Fed. But yeah, crazy, bro. He thought it was an inside job.

Andrew Jackson was like, oh, this is a setup. It was. I kind of feel this one was. And they've smeared him they smeared his reputation because he was bad to native americans like every fucking president was so it happens you take down a fed bro yeah never forget i remember i remember this you remember when i went on that one see that was when i was into youtube videos yeah yeah the last one that i watched was the way i felt about the movie I could have been radicalized

thank god I'm not watching them shits no more anything Mark sends me I go what is this I gotta bet it this one's good okay boys first of all great to see y'all again so stoked

yeah you got to have this weekend thank you man really fucking awesome yeah and um and yeah man yeah it was good to see y'all yo flagrant we really gave them a pump fake with the episode like i just want to let y'all know we were all away and we were in the we were in the group chat like yo we have to we're in the group chat we're like yo we got to come in we got to do this episode like this is huge and are going to need it. And my mom texted me because I told her I just went out there and I was like, yeah, I'm going to take some time off. And I think this happened.

So I'm going to, I'm actually going to go in. And my mom texted me this, take the 10 days off. Life is short and can end at any moment. I'm only your ma, so what do I know? And my mom had just had surgery. That shit is scary. I know. Why are you talking like that? I think it's like, she's a tank, like nothing. And then she has this gallbladder thing. They got to take the gallbladder out and obviously everything with my dad. And I think she's starting to realize her mortality a little

bit. And I remember sitting there and I'm out with my family and my fucking wife and my daughter there. And, uh, and we were out there, Dove and Mark came out and, and I was just like sitting there and I'm like, okay, I think that, I think it's okay to take some time for you. I think we've dedicated about 17 straight years to trying to achieve everything that we wanted. And you've earned a fucking 10-day stretch, even though that there was an assassination attempt. And I'm glad we did it.

Yeah. It's a great ep. I'm glad we did it. You want to talk about pump fakes? I called the Patreon episode Secret Service Dropout. They wanted it. I cannot. They wanted it. They were so mad at me, and I apologize Dropout. They wanted it. I cannot. They wanted it.

They were so mad at me, and I apologize, patrons. I really apologize. Anyway, patrons, we got something cooking for you this week. It will be fun. Let's go to Patreon. Yeah, let's get it. We're going to go to Patreon right now. Join us over there, patreon.com.

Thank you all so much for rocking with us. I hope you all enjoy Shits and Gigs. It's a really fun episode. So I want you to check that one out if you haven't checked it. Really cool guy. Yeah, good peoples, good peoples, lie about their dicks but it is what it is we all lie

he admitted it that's admission right there I don't know what you're talking about peace