Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - White People Saying The N-Word
Episode Date: December 13, 2019This week Andrew, Akaash, and Kaz discuss: Ghandi being the ultimate sub, gay monkeys, the benefits of cock-blocking, why white people should say the n-word, the poor life of Tiger Woods, and much mo...re. INDULGE!!! Want to listen to the full episode? Become a PATRON! www.PATREON.COM/FLAGRANT2
Transcript
Discussion (0)
okay um we needed to we we wanted to to to do something today to make sure that um
that we could have this good old good old content good old flagrancy good old ever
green content and um i was thinking in the spirit of flagcy, maybe it'd be a great idea if we give a shot at defending the indefensible.
I go, let's just all come up with four things that you cannot defend, and then we do our best to defend them.
I threw out some easy, you know, global warming, sweatshops, Catholic church touching boys, you know, the
serial killer killed a gay guy.
Akash goes, me too, the bank bailout, killing Jeffrey Epstein.
Kaz just goes, white people saying the N-word.
That's the one we're going to start with.
I said, first of all, first of all, first of all.
I gave mad options.
I need to hear this argument.
I gave mad options.
I just jumped to that one.
He gave two before that
Everybody who's a comic
Knows there's a rule of three
Yeah
So you had this third one
Locked up
And you were like
Let me just think of two
To start off the bit
And then
Knock this shit out the park
Two warning shots
You know when you're in a group chat
And you get the little
Exclamation point
Well not even a response
Just a little
At the same time we hit it
At the exact same time we hit it.
Literally.
That's so funny.
So I want to start there, but I also feel.
I can defend it.
No, I'm ready.
But I also feel in the spirit of protecting, of like warming this up,
we start with another thing or two other things and then we let
you slam at home okay okay you're bad in cleanup that works okay okay so sounds good okay the um
okay so we're here here's here's a thought that i had that was really fucked up but um
so i mean you guys choose okay we, we have... Okay, sweatshops.
Is that good?
Sure.
Because we knock sweatshops a lot.
And I feel like... Aren't sweatshops better than cold shops?
Like, we act like sweating is the worst thing that can happen while you're working.
But that's because there's no...
Well, there's sweatshops because they're in hot countries.
They should be used to that.
It's not like they're moving them into the country.
It's also not like they're going home to air conditioning.
They got a palm tree.
They sit under the palm tree.
Now they actually have a roof over their head.
I understand that they're sweating,
but it's only sweaty to us.
When Americans, we go over there like, man, this is a sweatshop.
That's a shop.
Isn't there something to this?
They don't realize how bad it is. Do they have windows for cross ventilation?
Because that's something you get outside.
I don't think they have much windows.
They probably blow just the same hot air in the same room.
Maybe like those big
industrial fucking fans and shit the fucking loud and smelly public school gym class
it's just how fucking michael jackson stands in front of in the beginning of dangerous like
i guess so but do you understand what I'm trying to say?
Like, we make this huge deal
about the sweatshop.
I mean, it's just,
if you take away sweatshops,
what are you gonna use?
Throw your iPhone out the window.
Throw all your clothes
out the window.
You're just,
what are you fucking,
you're Gandhi,
you're making your own clothes
walking around?
Did he make his own clothes?
Yeah, yeah, he did that.
He just,
he made his own clothes?
Somehow,
he just rocked the same little sash. How do you make his clothes? Yeah, yeah, I don't think, I yeah yeah he did that he was just he made his own clothes somehow he just rocked the same
little sash
how do you make
yeah yeah
I mean he saw what he was wearing
he wasn't wearing like hoodies
but he didn't make that
he didn't show that
nah he did that shit himself
how
I thought he just
he had like the wheel
or whatever
he didn't toga it
what is he toga
he's just making shit up
look up
just cause you say
no no no
just cause you say it
and you know we don't know don't mean it's true.
Look it up.
We're going to give some pushback.
Here's the thing.
You can't make sheets of fucking whatever it is.
He didn't grow his own cotton.
Not a toga?
How he made it then?
Toga.
Toga.
Kept his spinning wheel, made his own clothes, and refused to buy British cloth.
Oh, if he had a spinning wheel, I'll give him some credit.
Yeah, he had the wheel.
That's what I said.
He had the wheel.
He didn't fucking sew it together. He had the wheel. I said it. I know it's called spinning spinning wheel, I'll give him some credit. Yeah, he had the wheel. That's what I said. He had the wheel. He didn't fucking sew it together.
He had the wheel.
I said it.
I know it's called spinning wheel, and I know it's that literal.
Yo, real talk.
I hate when Akhoth does this, yo.
He'll say something so matter-of-factly that I'm like, that's not right.
That can't be right.
And then it's like absolutely on the fucking money.
You know what's crazy?
Of all the things Gandhi did, I'm most impressed that he made this.
Of all the things Gandhi did, I'm most impressed that he made this.
Anybody can free India by not eating.
Most Indians been not eating.
He was just keeping the Indians.
Hey, we want to keep it flagrant?
Yeah.
What if some white dude saw Gandhi doing that and it was like,
I bet if we got like a thousand kids to do that.
Look what this one guy just did. And that's how little food he can survive on.
Bro, that's it.
Dude.
Okay, he was the original sweatshop.
You know what I mean?
That's why he had that little over the shoulder shit.
He was like, ooh, it's hot here.
I need to make this breathable.
Get some ventilation in here.
Here's your cross vent.
Just raise your arms.
Cross vent.
Just click it to whatever Indian belt he had.
Real talk.
So Gandhi started sweatshops.
Gandhi is the first sweatshop.
Starving himself.
See?
Just working.
Son, he started that shit.
What a dick.
And you praise him
Yeah how you gonna praise this guy
That's your king
That's my guy
That's your king
That's my guy
That's my guy man
Damn son
Dude
Gandhi's body was gross
Son
Yeah he was not right
So do a fucking push up
Yeah like
Right
All that time
No downward dog
No fucking
What is that
Child's pose
He could walk his ass off though
So we're defending sweatshops right
Yes go
That's why I defended
That's Gandhi's inspiration
Like we just
Carry the legacy forward
Think of
Our entry level jobs here
In the states
Like McDonald's
And shit like that
Shut the fuck up
Tell us what's wrong Al
You know it Now all of a sudden This motherfucker Talking in the States like McDonald's and shit like that. Yeah, shut the fuck up. Tell us what's wrong, Al. You know it.
Now all of a sudden this motherfucker
talking in the beginning and shit.
Fuck all that, bro.
You thought we done?
You thought we just going for that?
That's the whole shit now?
Fuck all that.
Can you fucking input, yo?
Son of a fucking dick.
Oh, yeah, you know when the gun and the sweatshirt.
God knew you told me what happened.
Fuck you.
Yo, he would have.
God knew he'd sub nobody about it.
Actually, no.
Gandhi the ultimate sub, right?
I'm just not going to eat.
No, that's okay.
I'm fine.
I'm just kidding.
Well, Gandhi, what is wrong?
We'd like to know what the problem is.
Nothing.
I'm just not hungry.
Real talk, you think Gandhi thought of civil disobedience by his wife just being a pain
in the ass
He's like
Yo this shit is effective
After a while
Gandhi's like
Alright bitch
What do you fucking want
God damn it
And then a light bulb
Went off
He's like
I need to
I need to leave your ass
Wait a minute
Yo what's up This is Akash That was a preview I need to leave your ass. Wait a minute.
Yo, what's up?
This is Akash.
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