Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Why Schulz HAD to Leave Miami? | Exclusive Patreon Flagrant 2 Clip
Episode Date: May 28, 2021Join the the Flagrant crew for this exclusive Patreon clip for their last episode in the Miami studio!...
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Yo, we really came to Miami and changed, bro.
We were like, if anybody said, yo, Miami didn't change, y'all, they was lying, bro.
If they say Miami did, they are true.
Think about it.
We came down here, okay?
Al got Botox immediately almost.
Yep.
Right?
Immediately.
I waited till the last week.
Yep.
You got Botox immediately.
Didn't you get Botox immediately? I waited till the last week. You got Botox immediately. Didn't you get Botox immediately?
I waited until the last week. You got lip
filler immediately. Yeah, that's true.
Why would I need lip filler when my lips are bigger than yours already?
Son, I will say your lips are bigger than
mine now, but before we came down here, it's not.
Son, you got lip filler, son.
Yo, deadass, did Al get lip filler
or not? Uh-huh. I saw it.
There are old pictures of you. I looked at that picture
when you were shredded before. Your lips weren't even close thin lip thin lip
becky with the braid hair yo for real bro thin lip you were thin lip you got fucking lip filler
and you got botox okay okay you got lip
filler and botox okay my my pants and shorts were crazy yeah okay my pants were absolutely crazy
out of pocket bought a stupid watch yeah okay came a crypto cowboy we became crypto cowboys
lost half the fucking money listen to this idiot why would we think indians know anything about
finances bro what do they what do indians anything about finances? I don't know. What do Indians know about finances?
India broke, ain't it?
That's not a bad point.
First time he realized it, he's like,
oh, fuck, dude.
I would say it's because the rich ones come here,
but yeah, whatever.
Even the rich ones here, what they doing?
They getting money being doctors.
Yeah, doctors, CEOs, all that.
They don't know financial advice. They don't know about financial advice bro i'm not saying scottish people know about the shit but i'm just saying
indians this motherfucker over here own no bitcoin almost wow wow fuck i'm gonna keep buying
that's what they do that's what they do that's that's why england was like i give up bro i can't
deal with these motherfuckers no more you can't beat it bro rubbing shit all over what are we
trying to do we're trying to come down here and we try to give them a little bit of what do they
call it class freedom no they don't try to fuck with freedom culture civilization culture
civilization yeah you know what i mean actually i don't know about fuck with freedom culture civilization culture civilization you know what
i mean actually i don't know about that because i think you're the oldest civilization yeah and
y'all culture is boring as fuck culture is just being boring that's all it is oh that's an
interesting take oh you guys aren't cultured you lack it just means you're boring what is culture
do you listen to fucking symphony and then you know what fork goes in what bowl just go get
fucked that's all boring.
Give me one bowl.
Let's party at a buffet.
Okay.
Are there any cultures that are fun?
Like the Indian wedding is lit and that's a cultural thing.
But we don't, we say that's Indian culture.
When I say a person's not cultured. Oh, much better take.
Yes.
Cultured is they're boring.
Yes.
Coming from a culture.
That's a culture.
Now when they say you lack culture, that just means you have fun.
Now, I've also heard the term culture referred to like you know about cultures.
Oh, no, that's valid. That's a good thing.
But you're talking about specifically like he's class and culture.
He's class, that kind of shit. You're just a boring person.
Yeah, you're just a boring person.
You're just not having any fun and you're spending a lot of money to do it.
It is the most pretentious way to say it's so pretentious oh look at the class i look at the what is there's
another word that i'm fucking cast okay other ways that we became full miami
you became a fucking foodie i've been on that he's been a foodie
yo you know how you got southern hospitality yeah you started making reservations for people I've been on that shit. He been a foodie. He was starting.
You know how you got southern hospitality?
You started making reservations for people when they come in the city.
That's southern hospitality.
I'm trying to use the seam to split my balls.
Look at that pussy I just made right there, son.
Look at that.
You got that, Al?
I got the fat
pussy, son. Stop l fat puss, son.
I got a fat...
Stop licking your lips, son.
These big old juicy lips.
Big old juicy smuckers.
Yo, son, stop, bro.
You about to give it a raspberry.
But for real, Miles, chill out, chill out.
Put my balls away, Miles.
I put my balls away. Chill out, Miles. Miles is like a lesbian. Miles Miles chill out Miles I put my balls away
Miles chill
Miles chill
Tony
I do look like a lesbian
I'm trying to go
I'm dying
Tony you look like a lesbian
Miles
Miles dressed like the pitcher from Bad News Bears.
Remember that little dyke bitch that was rapping up her titties?
She was rapping up her titties playing baseball.
He was playing baseball with the boys.
Chill, chill, Miles.
You've been standing like it right now
I know
we love you Miles
we love you bro
hey what
say what
go grab the movers
you got it man
good luck with that 20 footer
damn oh shit come on bro Good luck with that 20-footer. Damn.
Oh, shit.
Come on, bro.
Yo, why are you wearing Palestinian colors right now, bro?
You are wearing Palestinian colors.
Yo, Miles is dressed more Jewish than you.
Yeah.
Unbelievable.
Think about it.
Unbelievable.
Yo, stay with your people, yo.
Yo, real talk.
Stay with your people. And don't get.
Yo, Miles. Miles is dressing like a bull dyke, bro, is so funny, man.
With the cut and everything.
Son, it's so true, dude.
It is so true.
You look like some dyke bitch dressed up for the sandlot.
What can I play?
You swing like a girl.
Thank you, Miles.
Thank you, Miles, for sacrificing.
All right, other ways that we went.
How did Mark totally sell out and go full Miami?
I think I sold out.
So Mark used to fake like he cared about looks.
Now he's all into it.
Or he used to be like like i don't care about looks
even though i get my hair dyed and shit like that now this motherfucker goes to the fucking
gym doc is like yo i don't care about getting strong i just want to look good that's all he
cares that's actually what i told him the exact opposite but i agree with you though no you didn't
yeah i told him he said it on air he's like oh mark just cares about looking good no he said
outcome no that's looking good no he was he was talking about what you like to eat.
All right.
Outcome.
It was really bad.
It was really bad.
I'm so sorry, guys.
I did my best for you.
That's why I'm going back to New York.
I know.
I need to.
You bought a Speedster?
That's pretty Miami.
Oh, yeah.
Have you bought that yet?
I put the down payment on it.
Oh, shit.
Yeah, I have no place to park it in New York.
I don't even know where I'm going to park it.
I don't even know where I'll drive it.
Who changed the most?
Oh, this guy?
You think I did?
More than you?
Nah, I don't think Miami changed you, though.
What changed me?
Money?
I think just getting money and getting more successful is like...
I don't know.
He was getting money in New York, too, but this motherfucker...
Yeah, I don't think I have any more money, per se.
Buying roadsters or whatever the fuck they're called.
What are they called?
Fit cars?
You change.
Is it changing?
He's wearing a hotel hat right now it's just so
old and white fucking whatever that's on his wrist and shit like you changed i changed bro
i did
you fully embrace being hippocrates yeah i'm still really holding each other accountable
and it's way more fun oh yeah soocrates. Of course, it's a lot of fun. So much more fun.
But what's wrong with changing though?
Isn't that the only way I was supposed to evolve?
Actually, you know what?
Shut the fuck up, man.
What is that?
What are you doing?
What's wrong with the change?
Let's just be serious for a second.
What are you talking about changing?
Akash is doing drugs.
Do we punt him?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Akash came down here
and started doing steroids.
You might change the most, bro.
Akash changed the most.
Okay, I still look the same but I changed the most. You stand up for yourself. He change the most, bro. Akash changed the most. Okay. I still look the same, but I changed the most.
You stand up for yourself.
He stands up for himself now.
Yeah.
He got a new shirt.
He got a new shirt.
Yo, Miami was good for me.
Oh, shit.
He got new sneakers.
Yeah.
Yo, Akash really changed the most.
Yo, you changed, bro.
At one point, you told us like, bro, that shit's a little weird.
You showing thigh meat.
I've never seen your thigh in my life.
Yo, Miami, bro.
I'm Miami.
I want to leave. I love it here. Yo, this got crazy, bro. thigh in my life. I'm Miami, bro. I'm Miami. I want to leave.
I love it here.
I'm a better meat.
This is crazy, bro.
Selling out shows.
I'm a better meat.
You got on the hymns.
I got on keeps.
I got on keeps.
Keeps, keeps, keeps.
You got on keeps.
I got on keeps, keeps, keeps, keeps.
Dude, Akash is different.
I'm a different guy now.
You are different.
I'm going to go back to New York different.
Holy shit.
I don't think Al is, I think Al's regressed.
I think that's what it is.
You became 90s Al Moore, I think.
After coming down here?
Yeah.
Talk to me.
You riding around like no helmet on your scooter.
Okay.
You never invited any of us over to your place.
That's disrespectful.
Yeah, you never really did invite us.
I didn't do that shit in New York either.
No, we've been to your place in New York.
Yeah.
I've been to your place in New York.
I've been to your place. Yeah. Other times I've been there. You've been to your place in New York. I've been to your place in New York. I've been to your place.
Other times I've been there.
You've been to his place in Miami?
No, in Long Island.
And we live mad close.
He didn't even tell me, son.
He came to that place.
We all hung out.
He never once mentioned
I live near here.
So you wouldn't even give me
a ride home the other day.
You said you didn't want it.
I said it's 15 minutes out of the way.
No, because he was looking at his face
like, your hair's kind of like 15 minutes.
Can I tell you something?
Akash is a piece of shit for that.
I know, son.
You saw that whole interaction.
You saw that, right?
That shit was foul, bro.
That shit made my stomach turn.
Please, please put it out.
That shit made my fucking stomach turn.
Because I know what he did, and I didn't want to just call it out.
I was like, all right.
Son, I needed a ride home, bro.
I can tell you this.
And then you said, yo, do you think you could give me a ride home?
That's what you said.
Yep.
Right?
And then you went, let me see if it's on the way.
No, he said, is it on the way?
I said, let me see.
Yep.
And I looked it up.
Yeah, I was being convenient.
I was being considerate.
Considerate.
So I took you up on your consideration.
Let me see if it's on the way.
I said, it's 15 minutes out of the way.
Bring up the map.
It's on the way.
You can't go to your house without going his way.
And he just said, yo, we live so close and you ain't even invite me.
Yo, this kid is wild, bro.
Yo, he changed the most, son.
I'm going to go to your house and drop you off.
I thought Indian culture is like inviting over, son.
You think I'm an Uber driver?
That's part of your culture.
I can drop you off in the front door and then I can go home?
Which is crazy because I drove you home one night.
And that shit is so far, dude.
That's past me.
I went past.
I did 30 minutes out, 30 minutes back.
The white man.
Yo, Akash is mad white, son.
That shit is so white of you, bro.
I'm changed.
That shit is so fucking white of you, dog.
Yo, this is incredible
bro you couldn't even give al a ride home you want a ride home you bitch i asked you
don't say yo but you know why you said if it's not too much of a convenience because when you
asked for it akash looked at you like don't ask me i didn't want to give him no ride home exactly i
know i got the energy he gave him a look. The energy.
He was like, yo, can you give me a ride home?
He was like, all right, let me.
Yeah.
He said this.
He's like, oh, you ready to go now?
He was doing everything to say no.
Why didn't you give him a ride home, man? That's your man's.
It's right there.
It's on the way.
What'd you have to get home to?
Get yelled at?
He was in a rush to get yelled at?
Among other things.
What else?
I had work to do do believe it or not
Come on bro
We got Kevin here right now I gotta do some shit
You couldn't wait 15 minutes to film it in your house?
I would rather not
Wow bro
Wow
That's crazy
I guess the verdict is out
Akash changed the most
And I thought he changed the least.
The lights just went out.
The lights went out because y'all all lying on me.
The lights went out.
I said I won't tolerate this.
And then we back on.
Yeah, see?
You're trying again.
The lights flickering.
That's God.
Yo.
That's God saying get it together.
No, that's God saying you change, man.
No, that's God saying get it together.
God put your light out.
Nah, bro.
God put your light out.
Hey, God lighting up now.
This little light of mine.
I'm going to let it shine.
This little light of mine.
I'm going to let it shine.
This little light of mine.
I'm going to let it shine.
Let it shine.
Let it shine.
Let it shine.
Let it shine.
You got no rhythm, Al.
Go to church. Go to a black church for fuck's sake. I'm going to help them out because he was off. You got no rhythm, Al. Go to church.
Go to a black church for fuck's sake.
I'm trying to help them out because he was off, so I was like, oh, let me make it stop.
I was like an old white lady.
You clap like what you fuck.
See, I was trying to help.
That's why.
Hold on.
Time to turn and now it's going.
Al, you had him in the spit cycle and you let him get a little momentum.
Al, you let him get a little momentum.
Al. No, he was jamming. You let him get a little momentum.
We was jamming.
You lay your hands down.
We were jamming.
We were banging on him.
They were jamming.
You were jamboreeing.
He's losing steam.
He's losing steam right now.
And now we're back in neutral.
It's anybody's game right now.
It's really anybody's game.
And I'm a bag in the wind.
Whoever got the next banger, I'm all on board. What can I attack right now?
Holy shit.
Mark getting nervous.
Come on, Mark.
Mark is scared right now.
Yo, Agosh, can I say what you told me yesterday about how you gave me such a hard time that I wouldn't let Miles stay at my place for months on end?
Yeah. Oh, my God. And now you have people staying at your house right yeah yeah and how is that going at home that's stressful it is stressful why why why we got we got two dudes
staying over okay and i didn't really tell my girl they were coming close friends really close
friends no one is a close friend she has less of a problem with that one the other one was kevin
and i was like yo he's coming down saturday say kevin could have kept both of them kevin and i are close and employee work but
she doesn't know him like she met him once and he's also he takes up a lot of space he got seven
feet tall that's a full-ass man and she was just like we got no food like how much does this guy
eat i don't know he's seven feet tall yeah i'm
like y'all we're gonna be fine don't worry about it and then very quickly she was like there's just
a lot of dudes right now and i wasn't ready for this but yeah they're still there that's a little
while yeah but i feel like we're indian you just let people stay at your place oh another indian
question i actually had all right guys we're taking a break from this exclusive patreon clip
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we're not leaving this yeah we're not leaving yeah i got confused there's a lot of meat on the phone. I forgot what show it was on. I forgot what show it was on.
I thought it was NPR.
I thought it was NPR.
Wait.
Damn.
Come on, son.
Damn.
Come on, son.
Come on, son.
All you had to do was just flip it.
Come on.
We had it.
It was so ready, too.
Fuck. I fucked that shit.. Just flip it. Come on. We had it. It was so ready, too. Fuck.
I fucked that shit.
Oh, my God.
We had our time right where you wanted it.
Now, you peaked eight years ago, bro.
Oh, shit.
Miles.
Let's go.
Miles hit the overnight.
Oh, yeah.
Swing them hips.
Yeah, coming up to the mound.
Coming up to the mound.
Wesley.
Yo, where'd my hat go?
Oh, I threw that shit all the way over there.
Hey.
I'm gonna let it shine.
Yeah.
But you gave me so much shit for not letting Miles stay in my place.
Yeah, but you didn't let him stay.
Yeah, of course not.
Because I recognize that it's more important to keep my wife happy, bro.
Well, that makes one of us.
No, that's different.
Two dudes versus one, huge difference.
And he had his own room.
No.
They don't have their own room.
He didn't have his own room.
He didn't have his own room.
Every time she goes to the kitchen, she has to see one of them and shit like that.
It's a thing.
It's a bit of a thing.
That's different.
Bro, we had to share a bathroom.
Hold on, how long are they staying?
We're out today. But how long have they been there sunday what day is it friday yes it's a lot i i'm with your girl on that one that's i completely agree i'm also with your girl which is why i'm
also we didn't ask i'm also with my girl when it comes to letting miles
the reason why your shit make no sense is because you have roommates I'm also with my girl when it comes to letting Miles take my place. No, no. You said we didn't ask.
Why are you still talking?
Yeah, I know.
The reason why your shit make no sense
is because you have roommates.
Exactly.
Yeah, I know.
So it's like roommates to have
a little bit more roommates
ain't a big deal.
No.
And you moved him out here.
Yeah.
You were the one that was like,
yo, Miles, come out here.
And there's another room.
I feel the tides are turning.
Yeah.
You set yourself up for this, Mark.
You didn't protect yourself from all angels.
I let my hands down.
This little light of mine.
I'm going to let it shine.
This little light of mine.
I'm fucked.
I'm going to let it shine.
I'm fucked.
This little light of mine.
I'm going gonna let it shine
Shine on more
Shine on more
What did I do?
Miles
Grabbed the mic
Say it with your dick bro
Say that shit
Say that shit
I don't know who it's coming at
Talk that shit
Usually he can go in his Dyke bar and telling him stories.
Hang around a bunch of dyke bitches drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon.
Mark will never let me stay in there.
Oh yeah, one more time.
Patricia didn't let me.
He was spitting lips the whole time.
He was like, come on, Mark.
Where's the oats, bro?
That's how he was.
I didn't want to stay in there.
Go, Mark.
Go, Mark.
I mean, go, Miles. Go. I was just going to say, that's the blackest I? That's how he was. I didn't want to say it. Go, Mark. Go, Mark. I mean, go, Miles.
Go.
I was just going to say that's the blackest I've ever seen Al be.
He was clapping real good, bro.
It looked like he was in a fucking Methodist church, bro.
We on board.
All right.
That's it?
No, no, no.
I knew that that was going to be slow.
I knew that that was going to be slow.
Miles, you really stopped us to say that, Miles?
Yo, let me tell you something.
That's the most softball shit, the way he underhanded that comment.
And he didn't even do the fast wind-up joints.
He did the high lob.
He did the high lob on that one, Miles.
Shit.
Shit.
Shit.
Thanks for getting me out, Miles.
Appreciate it.
Fuck, bro.
We had him
But in all seriousness
This is our last episode
Down here in Miami
So let's get it all out right now
You brought a seven foot man
That your girl don't even know
Yeah
And
Probably got a huge dick
With a big dang a leg
Big dick
Big dick
Using up all the towels
Yeah
You got your other friend
The Indian
Tini
Tushar
Tushar
Oh I know Tushar
Yeah Don't I know Tushar?
So
You have changed so much, bro
You don't even remember people anymore
What a metamorphosis
Can I be honest with you?
Indian names?
I know you tried
But I ain't gonna let it happen
What do you mean you tried?
Why aren't you going with me?
Why aren't you going with me?
Because I'm afraid you're turning back over here I will say this with Indian names is similar to Game of Thrones and that like
we're so different.
You know, you first start watching like Tyrion.
What's Tyrion?
Like, I don't know.
All the names are so different.
I confuse the names.
Right.
I know who Tushar is.
Yeah.
Okay?
Tushar.
Tushar.
Yeah.
I know Tushar.
Yeah.
Tushar.
Yeah.
That's the actual guy that gave us all COVID, by the way.
Wow.
You a snitch.
Bro.
Came to Miami.
Well, he told Mark yesterday.
That's why I felt like it was okay to share.
Because the second he met Mark yesterday, he goes, buddy, I gave you COVID. Those opening words. Yeah. I knew it was him. share because the second he met mark yesterday he goes buddy i gave you covid those opening words yeah i knew it was him yeah how'd you know he's been in your body bro
i know he's been inside dushar's been in your body i know he has and i knew it was him how'd you know
i know he's from alabama right yeah i knew it was him how'd you know i mean you did tell us
you told us yeah i told you off off the shit told you off the shit. No, you told us off air.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But then when he yelled at DeMarco, I was like, he don't mind if people know.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, you're coming out for the first time on air.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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