Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh - Worst Thing my GF Ever Said
Episode Date: September 3, 2019This week Andrew, Akaash, and Alexx discuss: the most annoying girlfriend moments, Andrew looking fresh, Going to Russia, Taco Tuesday, WNBA, and much more. Indulge!!! Want ANOTHER episode every week...? Become a Patron. www.Patreon.com/Flagrant2
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flagrant at checkout at adamandeve.com now let's start the show what's up everybody and welcome to another episode of flagrant to no easy buckets analysis
by assholes water cooler commentary for your sports needs i'm andrew schultz i'm here at
akash singh we got alex media in the building as well i want want to start the episode off. I want to go right.
We got to go right into it.
We got to get right into it.
I notified you guys before this episode.
Okay.
Instead of flavor and thought of the week, because this is fresh on my mind.
Oh, I like it.
Fresh on my mind.
Oh, I like it.
Fresh on my mind.
I want to know the most annoying thing that your girl has ever said to you.
This can be your current girl, a past girl, it doesn't matter.
But the most annoying thing that your girl has ever said to you.
Okay?
That's what I want to start the episode off with.
I have one that's fresh on my mind.
It's very fresh on my mind it's very fresh on my mind the most annoying thing that my girl has ever said to me was um this morning okay she i'm sleeping she goes like this she goes
she goes babe wake up wake up and help me sleep
me sleep.
Bro?
I'm in shock.
Bro, I woke up and I thought I was still dreaming or something.
I was like, what'd you say?
She's like, I can't sleep.
Just wake up and help me sleep.
Listen, I would never hit, look, I would never, no, I mean this, I would never hit a woman.
I would never hit a woman.
But I almost threw her out the window.
Do you know how crippled people are carried?
Do you know when you scoop up? You know what I mean?
Or like a dead body or something like that, right?
I literally almost, because my windows slide, but they slide pretty far.
And I almost thought about sliding the window and then just picking her,
scooping her up like that, and then just dumping her out the window like that and then going back to sleep i don't understand
how they don't appreciate that we need to sleep yo to keep buying their shit yo you know i mean
like i gotta work i gotta get up and work hard so i can buy the stupid shit you want son i it's
just shocking dude what goes through your head?
Like the moment, like you're restless, you can't sleep.
And then you look at your boyfriend and you're like, God, he's sleeping so well.
He looks too happy.
They don't like that you're that happy without them causing the happiness.
Dude, wake up and help me sleep.
That's wild, dog. That's wild, dog.
That's wild.
It's fucking,
it's almost so absurd
that it's funny.
It is hilarious.
It is hilarious.
Like, if she wasn't 100% serious,
like, if she didn't 100% believe
that I should wake up
and help her sleep,
then it would be the best prank in the entire
world.
I got a question.
Okay, go.
Have you ever accidentally kicked them out of the bed?
Wait, what?
I have to just imply, accidentally kick them out of the bed.
Okay, listen.
My apartment isn't big enough where there's not bed on both sides, right?
It's just there's one side that's wall. And the side it's just gonna bounce it to the wall and bounce back exactly
so i'm kicking up her against the wall now i would absolutely not let her sleep on the side with no
wall like that's not happening at all because i'll tell you why because i need to be able to move away from her as much as i can
and that includes having one of my knees jackknife and bent off the bed like the greater than it's a
greater than sign off the bed like that's how far i'll roll away half your body is running away
half my body's running away now listen listen listen listen, listen, listen. Dude, no, I Heisman, I Heisman not her.
I Heisman the air.
Like I'm trying,
so basically what we do
is we start the cuddle
with her face against the wall.
Like her nose is touching the wall
because I know,
I know 100%,
I know 100%
that as I roll away,
she'll come closer
and we'll move this way
and we'll move this way and we'll move this way
until my knee is hanging off the bed
and then we just have to typewriter it back to the wall.
So it's just...
For everyone that's young listening right now,
a typewriter is a device that existed before a computer
that men would
tell women to write things on when they had ideas they wanted to remember.
Trudy, can you write this down?
Okay, that was mine for this morning.
I mean, I couldn't believe it.
I couldn't believe it.
That's insane.
Why do you think I have a king-size bed?
Bro, I get it. I get it. I am literally getting a. That's insane. Why do you think I have a king-sized bed? Bro, I get it.
I get it. I'm literally
getting a king-sized bed for this reason.
And Akash is 4'11".
This guy don't need a king-sized bed. And my girl, 4'5".
Make them easily fit on the twin.
But he wants to be, have so
much separation.
And you gotta get the memory foam joints, the ones
that she sinks into.
So if she's jumping or moving, you don't feel shit on your side?
Oh my God.
Nothing.
She and I will sleep cuddle for like 20 minutes.
And then when it's sleep sleep time.
That's absurd.
There you go.
You scoot over and then she don't notice.
20 minutes?
That's two snoozes.
Wouldn't you rather have two snoozes in the morning by yourself?
Listen, if I'm not tired.
Yeah.
Let's cuddle.
It's great.
But when I'm tired, that's enough.
Go.
Why would you get in bed
if you're not tired?
I'm on my phone at first.
I'm reading or whatever
before all that.
You know what I mean?
Dude, we need a verb.
We need a verb to describe
the action of a girl
watching you on your phone
and pretend like she's not infuriated
that you're on your phone.
That's my favorite line. Oh, let're on her party. That's my favorite lie.
Oh, let's get it out.
That's my favorite lie.
That's my favorite lie.
My favorite lie that they tell,
you know,
like,
you know how I know
that she's pissed off
is she don't let me save her
from oncoming traffic.
Like,
we have a cool,
we have a cool,
like,
little cutesy,
you know,
your cute little cutesy relationship
you got with your girl, like, you're both, like, a little bit in I do that. You know your cute little cutesy relationship? You got your girl.
Like, you're both, like, a little bit in the street, and some cars are coming.
And you know this bitch ain't going to get hit by some cars.
But you're like, hey, babe.
Back, back, back.
Back on the sidewalk, babe.
That's the move, dog.
Let me protect you from some shit that ain't going to even hurt you.
But I want you to think that I'll protect you in the event that some bad shit will happen.
Right?
So it's like, but there's something about me looking at my phone
and like a hole being burned into my fucking ear.
It's like, you know, I can feel it going into my ear
and like on this whole side of my, you know Two-Face?
Yeah.
Remember Two-Face from Batman?
Harvey Dent.
Harvey Dent.
You know how one side of his shit is okay?
The other side is just his girl looking at him.
That has nothing to do with Batman.
It's just his girl Like you gonna get
Off the phone
Why you always
Try to save Gotham
Why you need to save
What you need to do
Is save this relationship
That's what you need to do
Yo
Relationship Schultz
Is the shit
I love this
Relationship Schultz
He over here bro
I love this shit
Son
Cause I watched
Harry Potter the play yesterday, bro.
You went to the fucking play?
Son.
That shit was dope.
I liked it.
The play?
You saw it?
Yeah.
Now, you know it's two.
I'm early on that shit.
Yeah.
I did the same day joint.
Son, I did this.
I'm not even that big a Potter fan.
Yeah.
It's two plays in the same day.
That's a lot, dude.
That's a lot of Potter, bro.
That's a lot.
I'm a big Potter guy, so I enjoyed it.
Is it what?
Is it called Harry Potter?
Okay, it's actually really smart.
It's the kids.
Yeah, so basically Harry Potter's kids and Hermione's kids and Ron's kids,
they all go to the school, but they get into hijinks altogether.
So they're all-
It's mad hijinks.
Mad hijinks, bro.
Mad hijinks.
It's so much hijinks, bro.
Son. Anyway. so they're all it's mad hijinks mad hijinks bro it's so much hijinks bro son anyway jk rowling must have been one lonely bitch as a kid because all these fucking all these fucking harry potters
are about having no friends and shit and like like real talk bro how lonely was this bitch
and you know what's funny?
Now she's the only female billionaire.
This bitch right back to lonely.
And don't want to marry no billionaire, bitch.
You just right back to zero.
Shit.
You know what I'm saying?
You need to marry some guy so we can hocus pocus make half of that shit disappear.
Abracadabra broke, bitch.
Abracabroke, bitch.
All right, that's my craziest thing.
Go, Akash.
There's too many.
So the one that pops up is my girl one time said to me, you never take me to Applebee's.
What?
What?
I looked at this bitch like,
are you out of your fucking mind?
You're welcome.
I'm sorry I just took you to Italy. I'm sorry.
Was that? Not Italy.
Motherfucking boot ass
Italy. The country.
That's crazy.
I couldn't believe it it I looked at her like
Are you out of your fucking mind
What preceded
What kind of commercial
Did she just see
I don't know
Yo
Applebee's kudos
On whatever you're putting out there
That's how much
Indians love to save money
She's mad
That she hasn't
Did that two for twenty
Double double double
Double double
Two for twenty, double, double, double, double, two for 20, double, double.
Double, double, two for 20.
Double, double.
Bro, yo, Dumbledore is just some Indian talking.
Bro, so what'd you say to her?
Did you take her to
Did you take her to Applebee's
No
I didn't take her to Applebee's
What was she upset about to say
I don't know
I didn't understand
This is like when we first started dating
So I didn't understand that like
Yeah
Women just have all these emotions
They don't know what to do with them
So they just get mad at you
Every 20 minutes
So much emotion
Cause it's just too much
It just builds up
And they just find something
Yeah
But I just looked at her like
Are you fucking
I think I just laughed
Like that's how I know I'm an a plus ass boyfriend yeah that
this is what you're reaching at is i never took you to fucking applebee's yo she was reaching for
strings or whatever that what's that straws straws yeah yeah you had nothing son bro i just laughed
at her but i'll never forget a boyfriend you gotta be where she's going through her road decks of
shit that you fucked up with? You're good, son.
You never take me on vacation.
Nah, he did that.
You never say you love me.
Nah, he did that.
Yeah, I be doing that.
You never visit my family.
Nah, he did that.
I be doing that.
Applebee's.
Shout out to you.
You're good.
Yo, bro.
But then the point is, it's like if you know she's going to complain no matter what, you
might as well not take her to all that stuff
so that you could agree with the complaint.
Right?
There is a little bit of you.
I could be like, yeah, you're right.
I haven't done that enough.
I haven't taken you to Italy.
I got to work on that.
I got to work on that, babe.
I do spend too much time at work.
I do all be on the road all the time.
You're right.
Don't you want to agree with your girl's complaints?
That's the most annoying thing when they think that you're cheating.
It's like, well, shit, let me be cheating.
You know what I mean?
Like, well, I'm dealing with it.
I'm dealing with all the grievances and shit with cheating.
You might as well cheat at that point.
That's the worst.
When you're actually good and then they still think you're cheating.
I'm like, God damn, do you know how hard it is
being good?
God damn, you know how hard it is?
It's like, when you
cheat,
at least you're like,
you smart ass bitch.
You smart ass
detective ass bitch, you.
Look at you being all smart and detective-y.
Oh, yeah.
I see you, Hermione.
I see you coming together with the conclusions.
Look at you.
We played a little game of guess who, and you don't guess right.
Right?
You know what I mean?
It was Andrew on the road
with the waitress
bro
isn't that better bro
isn't that better
yo this is therapy
this is good
yo we gotta purge bro you know what I mean cause if we purge in the beginning then we could just Isn't that better, bro? Isn't that better? Yo, this is therapy. This is good.
Yo, we got to purge, bro.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Because if we purge in the beginning, then we could just be ourselves.
This is how I'm a good boyfriend.
I be complaining all the time.
You complain, but to whom?
To this.
To the world?
To the audiences.
Yeah, man.
Nah.
It's a good thing.
It's a good thing.
Okay, Al, what's the worst thing?
Damn. I just want to- The most annoying thing. It's a good thing. Okay, Al, what's the worst thing?
The most annoying thing.
Yeah, but before you left the bed situation earlier,
the reason why I got a movable bed.
Alex got the old person bed.
Yeah.
Where the top goes up and his feet go up.
Amazing.
But it's so when they're annoying me, they're asleep.
I'll just move that shit. up startled like oh natural reposition because oh you move her side yeah because
that's like it's like his version of the typewriter so it's like once she's come
too close to me oh move this shit real quick.
The shit vibrates too.
So I'll just throw the vibration on a wicker ass.
Oh, shit, bro.
I'm such an asshole.
Bro, that's too good, though.
Okay, what's the wildest thing your girl ever said?
Fuck, man.
I'm really having a tough time thinking of something. But the thing that bothers me the most is when, you know, you're around them and you get a sense of their energy.
And you know there's something wrong.
And you'd be like, what's wrong?
And they just refuse to say that.
They'll say everything's fine, but you know it.
And then it's like hours or days later.
Yeah.
Then it blows up.
And they're like, oh, this was the thing you were mad about.
Yo, that's the thing that's annoying, right?
That's the thing that's annoying about women but also annoying about being a man it's like you know what you're upset about right you know what you're upset about you
won't tell me but when i'm upset i don't know i just know i'm upset you know what i'm saying like
you have your girl Pressing you
She's like
Yeah
Like she's like
Why are you
What's wrong
I'm like
I'm not upset
Well I am
But I don't know
She's like
Why don't you just tell me
Why don't you just share
I don't know yet
And then two days later
It will be like
I just need to cum
Or something
You know what I mean
Like
You know
Like literally being a dude
It's like It could be You just need to being a dude It's like
It could be
You just need to bust a nut
You're like
Oh that's what I was upset about
Or like
It could
There could just be one thing
That you're not sure of
Yeah
You know
But I'll be
I'll have a shitty feeling
For two days
And not know what the fuck that is
Son
And I could tell
Right
Being around this motherfucker
Like
You could tell
When he's aggie oh
my god oh yeah i get aggie son yeah he'd be all short
now i said to tolera i was like okay he's in one of his boots
i do begin like that i gotta take this off it's hot out here yeah i gotta take my little outfit
on people don't realize right now Unless you watch
Andrew dressed classy
Son
Let me tell you something bro
Let me tell you something bro
I gotta go to my girl's
Mom's birthday
Whatever
Let me tell you something bro
I know he dressed like this normally
I got these slacks
I got these blue slacks
That's what they're called
Yeah
Suit pants slacks
I got a
I got a button down shirt
i got it like a like a like a i don't know what this should be in front of ours case rosso said
years ago the nicest a man could possibly look is a is a sweater and a collared shirt oh yeah
sweater and then i got a collared shirt underneath and i got my slacks and um
the way i've been treated today because of the way I dress, it's like I'm already white.
But like, let me tell you something.
If you could like, if you could make me white again, that's what it is.
You know what I'm saying?
Like this, like, you know, like born again white.
It's, um, you ever have like a chocolate chip cookie you know and then you ever
have a chocolate chocolate chip cookie that's what i feel but with white right i'm like white
on top of white like bro the respect that i've been getting today dude it's like i feel like
i'm a doctor in the world are my nurses.
Right?
It's just like everybody that approaches me is like, can I help you?
So I'm the doctor.
You're like, it's just amazing, bro.
It's amazing.
I want to crack on him, but he looks good.
Like, I'm mad.
You have to respect the whiteness, bro.
You have to respect.
It's so white, bro.
It's so white.
Look at this
Like
Look at how white this is
Oh man
Hey
Hold on
Look at how white bro
It's so white
Dog
Y'all gotta try it
I'm surprised you don't have the bow shoes
If you had the bow shoes
If you had the
What's that called
If I had the bow shoes
That shit would be expensive
Nah
I got it at the spot
Suit supply
Okay This is genius This is the future of Oh we should talk about this the what's that called if I had the boat shoes that shit would be expensive nah I got it at this spot suit supply okay
this is genius
this is the future of
oh we should talk about this
how I get this off
you don't even know
how to get it
I don't know how to get it
now you
that's right
that's it
you just keep going
just keep going
so
nah we should talk about
the future of
hey
I know right
you might want to
put it back on
the outfit just went down
to like a five.
Yeah.
This is not a nice shirt.
It's not.
It's not good.
What about my slim waist?
My waist snatch?
Waist snatch.
Snatch.
Somebody make a gif of a hot guy's coat.
Waist snatch.
Wait a minute
Did you tell us your
Your most annoying thing
Your girl ever said
Yeah the upset thing
Oh yeah
So
Here's the thing
Retail
Right you know how
Jeff Bezos kill retail
Right
Retail's done
Shit is sad
Sad son
Real sad bro
Sad
But I got a theory on retail
This bald motherfucker
Just mad at the whole world
And just ruined it
Right
Never Never dressed nice in his life Voldemort Yo Motherfucker Voldemort But I got a theory on retail. This bald motherfucker just mad at the whole world and just ruined it. Right?
Never dressed nice in his life.
Voldemort.
Yo, son. That motherfucker Voldemort.
Yo, son.
I know I'm late.
It's so funny.
I know I'm late, but all my references are going to be Harry Potters.
Hey, I know I'm late.
Hey.
Hey, I know I'm late, but all my references are going to be Harry Potters.
Can you imagine if when we were growing up, somebody kept referencing like, welcome back
Potter or some shit like that.
In the 70s, you'd be like, huh?
What the fuck are you talking about?
I just found out about this Harry Potter shit.
This Harry Potter shit you heard about?
That's goofy.
I'd be finding out about shit late, bro.
But I like Harry Potter, bro.
Also, why do they act like they don't know what the spells are?
Like, you know how they're trying to learn spells?
Yeah.
I feel like I know all the spells.
How?
You just got to add a little to the end of it.
You know what I mean?
His girl told me he made up some new spells.
I just make up spells.
I'd be like, shut up with this bitch.
She told me he'd be hitting her with those.
All the time, son.
Stop talking at this.
Right?
Son.
Yo, those spells are nice.
Every week he comes in here with a new way to shut his bitch up.
Yo, Harry Potter done taught me how to tell him to shut up, bro.
Ba-ba-ba.
Ba-ba-ba.
That was before I knew about the spells, bro.
And now it's spells.
Son, I got a wand, everything.
I got the elder wand.
Y'all thought I didn't know about the elder wand?
Y'all really thought?
You got to go to Universal, bitch.
To the Harry Potter's world?
Yeah, you would love that shit.
Yo, we would do Flay or Field trip.
You would love that.
That shit is dope.
Really?
That shit is dope.
What kind of wand do you got?
I bought a wand when I was 10.
You fucking...
You are so...
I bought a wand.
Oh my God.
Yo, I got...
Oh God.
Bro, for real? I was geeked. I was a wand. Oh, my God. Yo, I got it. Bro, for real?
I was geeked.
I was geeked.
I was walking around like the kid attention.
Right before you bought a wand, did someone come up to you and go,
Faggotus, you want this?
Alex is like, I need a wand.
I need a wand now
That one right there
That one right there
Uh uh
The elder is one
Son
Son
It is
Listen
Homosexualist
Homosexualist
That's it
I was gonna go with LGBT interquestion
Real talk
Yo real talk bro
No bullshit
You seen that dyke wand
What is that
You ain't seen a dyke wand
The one that is just a handle.
I don't need the other part.
I don't need the other part.
All I need is the handle part.
This is crazy.
Vibrates on its own, actually.
Yo, you know how you make that shit vibrate, bro?
You know the spell to make it vibrate?
It's I am lonely at this.
Jake Hanson's Rowling is this.
Bro, we out here in suits.
We suited and booted.
Is that it? What is that? No, I suited and booted. Is that it?
What is that?
No, I'm not booted.
Nah, you got some nice shoes on, man.
Fuck.
Suit supply, bro.
Oh, yeah.
That's the future of retail.
Yeah, we got it.
Hey, hey, hey.
Hey, hey, hey.
Hey, hey, hey.
Woo-hoo.
Hee-hee.
You know what I mean?
You know what I mean? Hey, hey, hey. Yo, Fat Campbell, You're not a dad of me? You're not a dad of me?
Yo, I can't believe you bought a wand.
My girl didn't even buy a wand.
She was like, nah, she just gave me a fucking wand. Yo, which one you got, though?
Which one?
Because you got to choose.
Don't act like you didn't choose.
Nah, they just have standard.
No, they don't.
They have all different.
Son, they just had standard.
They have the elder wand.
That's the one Dumbledore had.
Y'all didn't know Dumbledore?
I'm reading the books.
I told you.
Y'all don't know who Dumbledore is?
I'm reading the books right now, so my girl would read Rich Dad, Poor Dad.
That was the balance?
That's a deal we made.
Yeah.
Wait a minute.
But did you know who Dumbledore is?
Yeah, man.
Do you know his first name?
Hit it.
Albus.
Fucking dumbass. Fucking pussybus fucking dumbass
bro dude did you just come from the play just like that i went to the play yesterday
son we was in there bro you know who we were in there No, son. No, son. I can't.
I can't.
What'd you do between the break?
Oh, so my girl got this uncanny ability to find the most expensive restaurant.
Expensive option?
It's crazy, dude.
Son, it's a real dog.
Every woman has an innate ability to always choose the more expensive option in anything.
It is unbelievable her ability to choose expensive restaurants.
It's unbelievable.
So she goes, we go, we go.
It's unbelievable, right?
So like it's to the point where I expect it.
I expect it, Akash.
I really expect it, right?
So in between the play, so basically for anybody who's listening,
you go watch the play, right?
There's one full play With an intermission
Yeah
And then it stops
And then you have
A two hour break
And then you come back
And then watch
A whole other play
That's a lot
So
My girl got this
Unability
My girl got this
Amazing ability
To find the most expensive option
So we're like
What are we gonna do
In between the plays
She goes
Well I know this
Chinese restaurant
Do you wanna go get some Chinese?
I'm like, Chinese?
I'm like, it can't be expensive.
It's just Chinese.
Chinese?
Bro, we winning out here.
We fucking winning out here.
This is music to my ears, right?
We go to this place, right?
We're walking down 42nd Street, and she goes, it's right here.
There's no sign on the door Nothing Just some Asian characters
On a black door
With some like
Ornate grating
On the outside
I'm like
This fucking
Motherfucker
Had to find
The most expensive
God damn
Chinese restaurant
In all of New York City
They ain't even got an awning
You know this shit expensive
They ain't even got an awning
Right
We open the door
Right In order to get open the door, right?
In order to get from the door to where the maitre d' is at, there's a long corridor.
It must be 25 feet.
Now, you could tell how expensive a restaurant is by how many corridors they got.
And length of corridor, too.
Length of corridor?
Like, that is the telltale sign because the restaurants I go to are so inexpensive and cheap that they can't waste room on corridor.
Yeah.
They have to have seats everywhere.
Yeah.
Right?
Yeah.
But this restaurant had a corridor.
Okay.
Yo.
We walk 25 feet to the corridor, right?
The lady goes, let me bring you to your table.
We're going through another corridor.
I'm like, we're two corridors deep.
This shit about to kill me.
Chinese food,
two corridors.
Each step he's taking,
he's just hearing,
cha-ching, cha-ching, cha-ching,
cha-ching, cha-ching.
It's like Mario in reverse.
Just losing the point.
I knew it was going to be expensive
because the maitre d' was black.
Oh, shit.
If you were in a chinese restaurant and they
don't got chinese motherfucking people working at it you know it's gonna be expensive bro that's
funny a non-chinese person working at a chinese restaurant that's wild gotta be expensive imagine
you went to the back and it's like uh the guy from rush hour the black chinese guy
he's like Roscoe
or something like that.
Son,
Don Cheadle.
Don Cheadle.
Don Cheadle.
Son,
it was two,
it was,
anyway,
so we sat down there.
We,
I don't,
bro,
I don't know what's going on.
What was the name of the restaurant?
Hakkasan.
I never heard of it.
Out of my,
out of my tax bracket.
Son,
my girl is actually good
at eating cheap,
better than me
because she's young.
We know.
But I remember
another annoying ass thing She's mad about not going cheap better than me because she's young. We know. But I remember another annoying ass thing
She's mad about
not going to Applebee's.
We know Applebee's.
Son,
hold on.
Second most annoying thing
my girl ever said.
Why'd you take me to Italy?
We should've gone
to Papa John's.
It's an olive garden
right by the house.
What's wrong with you,
Arkos?
You need to re-rich that poor dad.
Taking me to Italy all the time.
I remember me and my girl had just started dating.
This was my first relationship, so I didn't know any of how it worked.
And we were mid, like, quarrel.
Not quite a fight, but like a little dust up.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then I'm like, there's a restaurant.
I'm like, hey, she says she's hungry.
I'm like, hey, there's a place right here if you want to eat there.
And it's like $20 a plate.
I just threw it out there to show her that I'm nice.
I'm like, yo, you want to eat there?
And then she's like, yeah, sure.
And I'm like, of course you do.
Then we sit down.
I'm like, you want any appetizers?
And she goes, yeah, why not?
And I was like, why not, bitch?
I don't know, finances?
Maybe it costs $16 for a plate of fucking edamame?
Why not?
Why not don't occur to you?
Because it's my money?
That's why not?
I was losing my mind in my head.
Why not?
What I said?
Okay.
That's what I said.
Let's get it.
Whatever you want.
When we offer it, they think we got it.
It's an empty gesture. When we offer it yeah they don't realize it's empty you know what's the most infuriating thing huh when they order like a coke
wait why because it's like why would you waste that money it's like it's like five dollars for
a coke at a restaurant, right?
You might as well just get a real drink.
But if you order a Coke, you just want to make me poor.
Right?
It's just like there's no joy that comes from the Coke, right?
You're not getting anything out of this soda, ginger ale, nothing.
The only joy you get is I'm more poor.
That's the only joy, right?
Just order water or alcohol.
But the Coke?
What does that do?
It makes you fat and me poor.
I told my girl something cost $300 once,
and she goes, is that expensive?
I was like, bitch, you just forgot how money works.
That's how long we've been together?
You just literally forgot the whole scale?
You don't even know anymore?
What the fuck are you talking about is that expensive?
Oh, man.
Oh, God.
All right.
Well, you know, here we are.
Here we are.
Here we are.
We're here.
Yo, we went to a... This is funny. We went to a... So went we went to a
this is funny
we went to a
so we went to a
and then I gotta shut up
before I get broken up with
so
hey Michael got a ring
you ain't going nowhere
where the fuck
do you think you're going
so we got a
that's funny
the ring is like
scorpion shit
get over here!
It's Mortal Kombat.
I just need you to push her away and then get over here!
So we went to dinner, right, with her and her folks, right?
And first time we went to dinner with them, folks paid.
Okay. Noble? Second time. I mean, I tried, you know? To dinner with them Folks paid Okay
Noble
Second time
I mean I tried
You know
Second time
We're going to dinner
I'm like yo I gotta hold it down
Absolutely
So
I let everybody know
At the beginning of the dinner
We go to this Japanese restaurant
I'm like yo
I got it guys
Please don't fight
I appreciate you guys taking me to dinner
But you know I got it
And it's important for me because
You wanna show You gotta show them You wanna show your You know your shorty's parents That like I appreciate you guys taking me to dinner, but, you know, I got it. And it's important for me because you want to show.
You got to show them.
You want to show your shorty's parents that, like, she's good.
You know what I mean?
She's with a grown up and she's something who's going to take care of her.
Boom.
Right?
So waiter comes over.
And he's like, okay, here, we do not have menu.
Oh, my God.
He said, we do not have menu.
I just went like this.
I just went like, I just looked up at the top of the restaurant.
Oh, my God.
I just looked straight up and I said, oh my God, out loud.
In front of her and the parents, right?
And he goes, it is omakase.
The chef make sushi and he keep making sushi until you tell chef to stop making sushi.
So now the responsibility is on me
to let my girl and her parents know
when they're done eating.
Right?
That's a lot.
That's a lot to be like,
you done?
You full?
Right?
Now, there's no prices on nothing so that's scary they just
bringing the fish right and i'm like how much is a fucking mackerel i'm guessing fish prices
and calculate i feel like i'm counting cars in vegas bro i'm guessing fish prices and multiplying
it by four as the shit is going on and just racking up, racking up, racking up, racking up.
At one point in time, he brings the last fish.
And I'm like, I can't just say, I cannot just say we're done eating.
Right?
So the waitress brings the fish.
He's about to start talking about something else.
He goes, okay, and I here. And I cut him off.
I go, so what is dessert?
Well done.
You thought, you thought, Asian guy,
you thought you was going to get me?
Yo, our dessert dumb fest.
I said, what's for dessert?
He goes, oh, for dessert We have whatever
And the mom pop
Were like
Oh we're not really
Feeling like dessert
And I'm like
Bet you not
That's what we talk about
Neither are we
Run that check
We out of here
Son you didn't play that right
What I should have done
Just ask them
A bunch of questions
You keep them talking
The whole time
So they get full
Yeah
Oh shit that's
And then you
Speak up first About you being full.
Because people don't want to keep eating if you're not eating.
Oh, shit.
That's all you have to do.
That would have been way smarter.
Come on.
Have you been in that situation before?
Like, not exactly, but yeah.
Oh, my God.
That shit was petrifying, son.
We do not have a menu.
How was that?
Was the first meal expensive?
Oh, my God.
Yeah, probably.
How much was it?
What was the damage?
It was a lot of money.
First meal. What was the damage, son? Oh, my God. Yeah, probably. How much was it? What was the damage? It was a lot of money. First meal.
So, what was the damage, sir?
Spent $1,000.
That's $1,000.
That's a good tip.
Four different aftertips.
Say what?
Before.
Including tip, I spent $1,000.
Oh, my God.
Oh, no, no.
This was a no-tip restaurant.
It's included in the pricing.
There's this guy who has a bunch of these restaurants, I think, and they do no-tip.
Yeah, okay.
Well, tell that guy his restaurants aren't going to make it
because you can't charge me $1,000.
I'll pay the tip.
You know what I mean?
$1,000.
And there was no place for the tip.
I never even asked questions.
Like, there was no place, and I was like, that's on y'all.
Like, in my mind, I was like, y'all should have put a place for the tip
if you wanted a tip.
And then my girl goes, oh, you don't have to tip.
And I was like, you're right.
You know, they be saying little stuff like that, like they're saving us money.
And I'm like, you're not.
Don't play like you're helping.
You know, the move would have been the first dinner,
especially if it's not crazy expensive, which is good,
just sneak off, give the way to the card.
Say I got to go to the bathroom, give the way to the card.
Tried it.
Really?
Tried it.
Tried it. They were hipried it. Tried it.
They were hip to it.
The restaurant was so open, it would have been abundantly clear what I was trying to do.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
Anyway, guys, I think we should maybe get into some of this delicious sports talk that
we have going on here today, unless you want me to explain the future of retail.
Oh, you still have an explanation?
You go and do it, Micah.
Son, so...
Every time you try to talk about retail.
Here's the future of retail.
You ready?
Yeah.
So these department stores are done.
Right.
Right, they're fucking done.
It's a problem.
Right, problem.
But I think what happens is this.
The nice shit stays around.
Right.
And then.
You pay for the experience.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
Fuck the brick and mortar version of it.
Maybe they're there, but way less of them.
Okay.
You can order the nice shit online.
That goes to e-commerce.
But nothing's going to replace Dolce & Gabbana, Louis Vuitton, theseon these type of things because you want the shit right yeah um but we're fine ordering online
and i think all the lower tier shit is gone and then what pops up are niche things done very well
so for example suit supply where i got the suit, it's just high-quality suits at reasonable pricing, not dirt cheap, not men's warehouse.
Like, you're still going to spend $1,000 on a suit or something like that, but it's going to be really good, but that's all they do.
And then you're going to have another company that's there.
All we do is underwear.
Another company is like, all we do are tees.
And it's already starting to sprout up, these different things.
is like all we do are tees.
And it's already starting to sprout up,
these different things.
But I think what will happen is,
excuse me,
I don't need to get my tee from my t-shirt,
my white t-shirt or black t-shirt from fucking Ralph Lauren or Polo.
I'll get a piece that I really want
from Ralph Lauren or Polo.
I'm going to get their denim
or I'm going to get their whatever.
And I think that everything else,
like the kind of basics,
the simple shit that we do
that doesn't need to be name brand will just be niche e-commerce sites will pop up.
And we're like, I need some more fucking socks ordered.
I need some more basics.
A hoodie company with quality hoodies.
Different colors, but simple quality.
And then you wear that under your jackets, et cetera.
I think there will still be a place for brick and mortar in the sense that like it's a specialized,
you come for the experience of having a personal shopper.
Yeah.
And then people, the whole reason malls popped up is convenience.
I don't want to drive from store to store.
Right.
Once we found something more convenient than the mall, which is just staying at home, why
the fuck are we going to the mall?
But there's also going to be something to like, all right, but I'm also losing asking
a salesperson, hey, what do you think?
Somebody putting things together for me. he's a stylist or whatever right
i think those will stick around i think that they stick around as a loss leader in uh big markets
as uh a billboard essentially yeah it's a way to establish your brand yes so having your place on
fifth avenue right every one of those you told, right? Every one of those, you told me this.
Yes.
Every one of those places loses money.
100%.
But they get to stay.
We have a store on Fifth Avenue.
So now all of a sudden you group them in with every other store you see on Fifth Avenue.
Because is your brand even fancy if it's not on Fifth Avenue?
That's the idea, right?
So, but I think that you lose, I'll be honest with you, I'm not very bullish.
I think for the time being, stores like kith and that kind of
stuff can exist which kind of like aggregate all the cool shit and then like hand it to us yeah
and i think those things will be the last ones to go but there's even we're even going to come to a
point in time where like well i don't need a brick and mortar for that i can just have a website that
tells me the cool shit the only thing i would push back on is i think you're underestimating or like overestimating how much people know what looks good on them
most people don't know what looks good for dudes it's it's harder but for women i've realized they
have no problem ordering and then sending shit right back unbelievable if i bought some shit
and it's not good i just lost it that's it that's the shit that i have it's my size but um
i think the reason why breaking water will stay around forever because sometimes you just need an outfit right now.
That's true.
So that's a great point.
And it's like, well, what do I do if I need this?
What do I do if I need a shirt now?
I need a whatever.
So there has to be some place to get that, some place to satisfy that in some way, right?
Where like I just need a pair of jeans.
I spilled something on it.
I have a meeting.
I got to go.
And I think maybe you'll have, maybe there'll be a situation where like, I don't know.
How do you solve that?
You think it'll be like Target?
Because Target's clothes are actually kind of nice.
They're not like nice, but they're better than Walmart or whatever.
And they can survive because they also got grocery and we haven't gotten the point where grocery shopping
online is better than in store isn't that weird also yeah it's like because when you grocery shop
you want it for now i want it right now the produce is fresh blah blah blah you know it's not
grocery shopping online ain't fun i had amazon fresh you're fucking scouring the pages trying
to find avocados whatever the fuck it's it's annoying it's too annoying yeah yeah no there's there's definitely some complications i'm not
like interested enough in the uh clothing business per se to like to figure that out but there is
massive amounts of money to be made in the changing like ecosystem with with fashion specifically
there's going to be kith there are already like
online versions of kids which is here's a bunch of cool store cool cool clothes online yeah buy
these you're good you got it yeah there's a way and there's another cool feature that's been
popular for a couple years uh i don't know if there's a men version of it but for women rent
the dress or some like that yeah that one. So this thing is happening, right?
Like if I was to phase it out, right?
Let's say I was in this business.
The first thing I'd do is get you comfortable with returning shit online because the biggest barrier of entry for buying something online is if it doesn't fit, what do I do?
Yeah.
So they need to find a way to get men comfortable with returning.
And it is kind of easy, but it's a daunting task for us.
It's an inconvenience.
We got shit to do.
I need to go to the gym.
I need to do all these other things.
I don't want to fucking go to the post office.
In our mind,
we have to go to the post office.
Bro, I got a guy in my building.
I still don't do it.
I got to get a box.
I got to print a label.
Same with me.
Well, no, because they'll put it in now.
In our mind, we think.
They've made it incredibly convenient,
but we're so against it.
In my new mailbox in my building
they just renovated them
and there is a
post office slot
so I can just
put it in there
and then the postman
comes and takes
that mail
to the post office
yeah
I don't trust it
I looked at that shit
I looked inside a bit
and I walked outside
walked down the block
and then put my checks
in the mail
why don't you trust it
I don't trust it.
When does it start working?
It's working now. How the fuck are you asking?
It's the same system as-
I don't know.
I don't know.
When he delivers your mail, he's just taking that-
What if it gets mixed up?
It's the same, but it's the same thing he does at the mailbox on the corner.
I don't know.
I don't know.
It's a fucking idiot.
I don't know. Literally for me, for me though it's just i don't know
find an empty box i got mad empty boxes it's prime coming to my house every day i'm like i gotta find
a box that's the right size i gotta tape it even if they put the label in i'm like i gotta fill it
out all these little nonsense ass things i'm like i'll just keep it and not like it it's worth it
to keep it that's the thing but these girls buy shit knowing they're going to return it.
Crazy.
They buy 15 fucking pieces, try them all on, and their home is essentially their changing room.
It's genius.
Yeah.
But there's money to be made because the industry's in flux.
It's just literally what's happening with us in entertainment.
There's money to be made.
The industry's in flux. I got to do a's happening with us in entertainment. There's money to be made. The industry's in flux.
I got to do a huge shout out to Bill Burr, by the way.
Bill Burr's new special.
She dropped a trailer for it and it looks fucking awesome.
Oh, he's incredible.
He's so good.
It's just comedy's in such a fucking good place right now.
It's so fun.
I'm so excited.
It's in such a good place.
Because Bill is always not giving a fuck.
No.
Bill has operated on an island.
I don't really consider Bill as part of the traditional Hollywood media.
No.
He dabbles.
He has shows in there.
But Bill has his audience.
He does whatever the fuck he wants.
Says whatever the fuck he wants.
He's flagrant as fuck.
And that's going to be you.
Yeah.
For sure.
For sure.
100.
So it's like he's just so just so and anyway he's brilliant obviously chapelle and um bill did it through podcasting too monday
morning podcast is the thing that like we knew about him as comics yeah and i remember why do
i do this which was like 11 12 years ago like what the fuck is going this guy's so good fucking
and i still didn't hear a lot about him.
Then Monday morning podcast dropped
and then like,
all of a sudden,
he just started playing
bigger and bigger venues.
Bigger and bigger.
He said Netflix actually
helped him a lot.
Really helped him.
Netflix made him an international act.
Yeah.
Because he was on there early.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Him and Ali Wong were like
the people Netflix made.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So true.
And then it's just,
yeah, he's just a fucking beast, man.
So I'm excited.
I'm just so excited for comedy.
And it's great when there's a thirst for something and the best people doing it are putting out the product that they're thirsty for.
It's like people have been starved for flagrancy and now that starvation is met with like it's like piranhas you know yeah
you're just throwing fucking you know a t-bone steak or some chum in the water and the piranhas
are gonna attack and it's just such a great place for comedy man so i'm i'm fucking psyched go check
that out watch the trailer you know and shouts to bill burr the motherfucking goat man so good i
want to see what his material is like with a kid too yeah yeah he has a funny bit on the uh the trailer which is i'm not giving anything
away this is just what the trailer gives away he goes um he goes you know like uh i i don't
understand why my wife complains she's got i mean like i'm a great guy did you see it he goes he's
i'm a great guy okay i pick up after myself pick up after myself i think i'm a great guy. Did you see it? He goes, I'm a great guy, okay? Pick up after myself.
Pick up after myself.
I think I'm a pretty good dad.
She'd give her whatever she wants, whatever.
Work hard and make money.
Work hard and make money.
The only thing that she could possibly complain about is my personality.
Who I am as a person.
Who I am as a person.
Oh, that's good.
That's great. That, that's good. It's great.
It's just so good.
And this idea of like his daughter hasn't really seen him yet.
Yeah.
Like she hasn't noticed the anger.
Yeah.
Like she's just seen like little things of it.
It's like, dad snapped a baseball bat over his knee or whatever.
Yeah, I'm excited.
Anyway, let us talk about some things, Akash.
What you thinking?
Dude, the Texans made some big trades, crazy trades.
Explain why you get rid of Jadavious.
Jadavian Clowney.
Jadavian Clowney.
I cannot tell you why.
Here's why to me it's so fucking stupid.
So their thinking is, I think he's holding out.
He's a free agent next year.
Okay.
So he has one more year on his contract, and then he's a free agent.
Le'Veon Bell situation.
They traded him for a third-round pick.
The reason I think it's dumb...
Third round?
Seattle got him for a third-round pick.
Whoa, I didn't know he went to Seattle.
He went to Seattle.
Seattle just got scarier.
And they're always kind of a threat
because Russell Wilson's great.
Their defense is always good.
Let me ask you a question.
Wouldn't you have traded
always injured J.J. Watt
before you trade Jadavis Clowney?
I'm not saying Jadavis Clowney has an injury-free
record, but this guy's literally every season
Jadavion Clowney.
Every season
he's injured. Yeah, I don't know
what that... Well, I guess Jadavion is holding out.
So you could theoretically... I don't know how salaries
work with trades. I think you have to... From what I understand, you have to pay a lot of the guaranteed money still if you trade them.
So maybe with Watt, they were like, well, we're going to keep having to pay the guaranteed money when we trade them.
So there's no reason to trade them.
I think.
But I don't get it because if Jadavion Clowney sat out for a year and signed with somebody else like Le'Veon Bell did,
you get what's called a compensatory pick the following year.
And it's based on how much money they get signed for and a couple other factors.
But like Jadeveon Clowney would have got huge money, which would have gotten you a third
round compensatory pick in two years.
That you would have got anyway.
So you basically said, I'll take a third round pick next year instead of two years from now.
Why?
What's the fucking difference?
Just have him sit for a year.
See if a better offer comes along.
Teams get desperate.
The Cowboys traded a first for a receiver.
It worked out, but still.
It worked out, but I would have definitely given a first for Jadavion Clowney
if I think I'm one defensive playmaker away from getting a Super Bowl.
Go.
Give me Jadavion.
Here's a first.
I don't give a fuck.
I'll figure it out.
Wow.
That's why I think it was so dumb.
And then to fortify their offensive line, which is a nightmare,
but they traded two first-round draft picks and a second-round draft pick,
which is a crazy haul for Laramie Tunsell, who's a good—
I haven't heard him great tackle.
Maybe I'm wrong.
I don't really keep up with Miami, but he's the starting left tackle for Miami.
And that left tackle is an important position because if you're playing quarterback, he protects your
blind side. So traditional thinking, now people are saying there's a lot of pressure that comes
up the middle. So the blind sides aren't as important, but like the blind side typically
in traditional football, that left tackle, if I'm a right-handed quarterback, I'm throwing this way.
I don't ever see this guy coming. So I need my best guy protecting me.
I need the most important lineman is that left tackle.
So they traded for him, and he's good.
He's a young player.
And Kenny Stills, but two first-round draft picks and a second is like—
Oh, shit.
They got Kenny out of there.
Yeah.
Well, they wanted to kind of get him out of there.
Kenny was having issues with the owner because Trump, blah, blah, blah.
Yeah, yeah.
Still, that seems like a lot to give up.
And then you lost your Davion Clowney, so you lost stud you got another stud but your net is like I gave up two first round draft
picks and a second to get a third round draft pick do you think it's possible that Miami wants to
lose Miami could but Miami's got two first round draft picks from from the Texans now they got
their own first round draft picks wait for it this now. They got their own first-round draft picks. So wait for it. Wait for it.
This is what I was told, and I got to keep my sources quiet.
Okay.
Right.
But remember that Eagles coach that did all the crazy science stuff so that they could—
No, no, no, no.
The one that I was telling you he was—
Oh, okay.
For the Super Bowl.
Right, right.
The Eagles Super Bowl coach, not the head coach, But he basically put all these heart monitors on the players
and based on their levels of exhaustion,
calculated the best three plays to do in that moment.
He's now with the Dolphins.
And the thing was, yo, the Dolphins are about to win this year
because they got this guy.
But now what I'm hearing isins are about to win this year because they got this guy. But now what I'm hearing is
that they want to lose this year
so that they can get Tua.
That's interesting.
So now, now I heard that
a while ago.
When I hear this, that they're giving away their star-wide
receiver, when they're giving away
multiple things to get what in return?
Draft picks.
Now, you might not have the number one draft pick,
but if you got two firsts.
Yeah, you can move up.
That's a good point.
That's a good point.
So if that is the case, it'd be very curious.
I'd be very curious to see what happens not this year,
but next year with that team and with that quarterback.
Related to that, they traded, the Cardinals drafted Kyler Murray this year.
Yeah.
Last year they drafted a
kid who people are a lot of people are very high on and some people are very low on josh rosen yeah
josh rosen after the cardinals drafted uh kyler murray the dolphins picked him up for a second
round draft pick which isn't much if you have a good quarterback he's worth two first round
draft picks in a second okay that's the most important position yeah a second round draft
pick for potentially a good quarterback yeah is nothing so i would not be so quick to be like oh we got a tank for tua
but i do like this is what essentially what the browns did is we're just gonna hoard picks and
then we're gonna figure out what to do with that draft maybe we'll draft a bunch of good players
maybe we'll trade to move up maybe we'll keep moving down like the browns just hoarded draft
picks and now that's why they seem so set and why they can trade for Odell
because they have so many rookie contracts that are cheap.
It's like, well, we have tons of cap room or we have cap room to fuck with.
Right.
If you have a bunch of picks, your cap is way lower for the first maybe, what,
three years or something like that?
The first four years, five years for a first-round draft pick,
four years in particular are low salaries.
So we got Capron.
That's the game.
Let's go for it.
That's why the Eagles were able to sign everybody when they had Carson Wentz on the rookie deal.
Because we have Capron.
Rams are Jeff and Jared Goff.
So then what is the game once you have an established quarterback that you have to play?
I don't know.
Nobody knows that except the Patriots.
That's like the big thing that everybody's saying is the Patriots somehow do it.
Nobody else knows how to... Where do they
save money? I don't know.
I mean, we must know.
There are certain positions... Well, they
save money on offense. And Tom Brady
is not the highest paid quarterback. He's like the 12th
highest paid quarterback. But there were years where he was incredibly
high paid and they still were effective.
I think he's always been lower than Max.
He's always taken a little less.
Okay. But still. But still.
You're still spending a large percentage.
It seems like they invest in lines, quarterback, and that's it.
They don't have high-priced corners that I remember.
The corners are reasonable.
The linebackers are reasonable.
The defensive line seems to be paid well, right?
They had some big guys, I think, on their D-line.
They'll dip into free agency and sign a big guy here and there,
but it's never crazy. Wide receivers, they don't pay a lot of money.
Wide receivers, nothing. Running backs, nothing.
I mean, name the last major wide receiver
or running back they had. Well, name the
last major running back that they had.
I remember they signed Danny Amendola
after Wes Welker left,
and he was kind of a big deal for them.
And then he got a big contract with the Chargers, I think.
Probably. They let you go get a bigger contract.
Go do that.
That's you.
That's you.
You got that.
We'll find some other average-ass white guy to win Super Bowl MVP.
It's fine.
So that's their whole thinking is there are certain positions in this game that you get
meaning, you get a marginal increase in value with superstars.
a marginal increase in value with superstars.
I think their philosophy is, yes, having an elite Odell Beckham Jr.
wide receiver is, yes, he is elite, but based on the amount that you pay him more than an average wide receiver, you're getting nominal or marginal increase.
Maybe that's a philosophy.
It makes sense the way you're saying it.
Because think about it.
Let's say you pay a regular wide receiver 10 mil a year, and you're paying Odell 20,
right?
And let's say Odell in that Patriot system is going to get you 20% more yards.
Yeah, whatever it is.
It's not worth it.
It's not worth the 100% more that you're paying in salary?
Yeah.
I think that's an interesting philosophy.
Dude, here's what I think.
If I was the Cowboys, I would have, in this draft,
when the Dolphins traded a second,
I'd have said, I'll give you a second and a fifth or something.
That way, if Dak is trying to hold out for top five money,
and I think he's good but not worth that,
now all of a sudden look you can
go if you want to i got a good young guy that's sitting here all year ready i didn't they were
going to hesitate because they gave up their first already but i would have loved to see the cowboys
trade a second for josh i would have loved it even if he's not great it's worth a shot because
it checks the guy trying to get the contract yeah go buddy
I can walk away from you
yes
and right now
they're in a situation where
they can't walk
ah
Dak has a lot of leverage
which is if I leave
what the fuck do y'all have
and if you got
a quarterback
who could
who has potential
you can say
look we might not be as good
or we might be better
and we will definitely
save a lot of money
because he's still
on a rookie deal
for two more years
three more years
whatever it is
so like
go if you need to, buddy.
We're good.
It's interesting.
Go sign for somebody with big money and you'll lose all the endorsements of being the Cowboys quarterback.
You'll lose the Campbell's Chunky Soup.
You're not the Campbell's Chunky Soup fucking spokesperson in Cincinnati, I promise you.
Yeah.
I promise you.
Chess moves.
Yeah, that's what I would have done.
Major fucking chess moves.
Somehow I didn't say it because nobody else on earth suggested it,
but I was just like, why would you not do that?
That's the Belichick move.
Because they're not thinking that far in advance.
I guess not.
And that, to be honest, for me, that is what happens when a coach is not concerned with his longevity.
Yeah, true.
Like Belichick can play long game because he knows he's going to be there.
Well, for the Cowboys, the GM is the fucking owners of the team.
Right.
That's the other issue, right?
So it's like-
You've got longevity.
You have longevity, so you have to make those moves.
But if you're not sharp enough, and maybe Jerry Jones just doesn't know the game enough,
so he can't make those moves.
And your coach, you can't expect him to make those moves because he's like i might be gone i need to win every year i ain't worried about two years from
now yeah it's very interesting it's very interesting my man should we pay some bills
pay some bills right quick well while we're talking about it guys
if you are gambling this year you got to do it through my bookie okay it's a new season
antonio brown is on the raiders levion bell is on the jet sodell beckham jr is in cleveland
one thing hasn't changed okay that's where you're putting that money down let's get right to it
all right this year they got these online handicapping super contests. First place guaranteed win, at least $100,000.
Only costs you $100 to enter.
That's right.
$100 to enter, you win $100,000.
That seems pretty fucking good if you ask me.
All you got to do is pick five NFL games against the spread every week to climb the leaderboard
and score your share of the huge Cass prize pool.
MyBookie has live in-game betting on every NFL game.
They've got the most rewarding player perks in the business,
and you can even bet the over-under on how many fantasy points
a player will score each game.
That's wild.
So people are betting.
Fantasy has become so ubiquitous that now people
are betting on the value of fantasy yeah that's crazy wow anyway if you join now you get up to a
thousand dollar first deposit bonus and double your first deposit do you understand what that
is that's fucking free money money how could you not if you're already gonna gamble listen if you're already gonna gamble you might as well get the free thousand
right this is a no-brainer you're already gonna gamble you get a free thousand it's not a bad
idea i mean guys all you got to do is go to my bookie m-y-b-O-O-K-I-E.com and use the promo code flagrant, F-L-A-G-R-A-N-T, when creating your account to claim the bonus bet, win, get paid, mybookie.
Okay.
Okay.
Sounded like you were just doing spoken word.
Son, I got that shit.
F-L-A-G-R-A-N-T.
What else we got going on this week?
Has anybody cared about Campbell's since Donovan McNabb?
Ooh, hot take.
I haven't recalled seeing a Campbell's commercial since.
That chunky suit took a hit, man.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Donovan McNabb, the quarterback for the Philadelphia Eagles,
for those of you guys who are not fans of American football, was doing campaigns for Campbell's Chunky Soup.
Chunky Noodle Soup?
Was that it?
Just Chunky Soup.
Just Chunky Soup.
Yeah, they got a bunch of different kinds.
And Campbell's was these tin can can soups perfect for the apocalypse
and
they were just massive ads
and we all knew about it
and I think I actually ate more soup back then
than I do now
isn't that crazy
that's fucking nuts
those ads worked on me
they worked
they fucking worked
is it also that we were just young and poor
and couldn't afford food food
possibly i wasn't poor yeah you're right but my parents did feed us poor
yes she fed you like a scott yeah we've got we're very very very working class in terms of the food we got a lot of pasta with a red sauce
a lot of campbell's a lot of chili in the can chili in the can mainstay in my family
like if we got cheese on it that was like damn mom's in a good mood
real talk yeah very very few meals meals but. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, I mean, a great life.
I didn't realize how poor I used to eat until fairly recently.
Until I started taking you out on the road, bro.
I mean.
Hey, Al, why don't you get yourself a Coke?
We're not having $1,000 Japanese dinners.
We're not there yet.
I think we've had some expensive meals.
I remember that one time.
Do you remember that one time when I took you guys?
What's coming?
I got you, Newit.
I got you, Newit.
You picked it up because I said one time twice.
I was trying to calculate that shit, bro.
Fuck.
Forgot that one.
I whiffed.
I whiffed on that one.
What's coming? What's coming?
What's coming?
I was trying to think of it.
It wasn't there yet.
It was just kind of like formulated in my mind.
Oh, man.
Anyway, but in all seriousness, this is a very important podcast because it very well
could be the last one that Alex and I do.
it very well could be the last one that Alex and I do.
Wednesday night, we go to Mother Russia.
Yeah.
We don't know what we're getting into.
We don't know what we're walking into.
But we do know hookers will be fun.
I wanted to ask you something, but off air, though.
I hope your girl's not listening.
I heard you're in sports.
It was like, ah, it's over.
It's all entertainment, babe.
All entertainment.
All entertainment.
Now, in all seriousness, we're going to Russia to do shows.
Why they would book me to do shows there, I do not know.
I don't think any of them speak English.
I've heard rumors from Godfrey, comedian Godfrey,
hilarious comedian. So funny.
Godfrey told me when he did the festival last
year, he was the first comment to go, they had a
live interpreter.
So it was happening during the show.
People had headsets in, like it was the UN,
and they were interpreting the jokes.
So this is going to be wild.
I'm very excited.
I hope we make it back.
Alex Media, Mark Gagnon, Andrew Schultz.
We are going to Russia.
We hope to come back Sunday.
That's all I can say.
Are you doing flight miles yet?
Are you doing that?
Don't know how to do that.
It drives me crazy.
It drives me crazy.
It's difficult.
You fly so much,
you would get upgraded to first class every time you flew. Don't know how to do it. You're stuck with one airline. How do I do that. It drives me crazy. Son, it drives me crazy. It's to the point you fly so much you would get upgraded
to first class
every time you flew.
Don't know how to do it.
If you just stuck
with one airline.
How do I do that?
That's bullshit.
We've been telling him
to pick an airline
and I'm still waiting
for you to pick.
I'll set up the fucking account
as an Indian
that drives me crazy
to see you just
walking away
from first class upgrades
for free.
No, but Aka,
she has a thing.
Which one should I do?
What airline should I do?
I don't know which ones to do.
It's simple.
I set up accounts for every fucking airline.
So every time we fly, I'm entering that shit.
So you're getting my points?
You're getting your points, but you're getting it so slowly because we're taking different airlines.
Okay, well, let's just choose an airline.
Let's do it right now on Flagrant 2.
Let's choose an airline.
I think if you like flying out of LaGuardia or JFK, I think Delta's the move.
Don't like the colors.
American?
You are American.
You're proudly American.
Son, I'm American, son.
You mad American.
What about...
But their shit's is trash, though.
American contract.
I'm united in this trash, but I just committed at this point.
Purple planes, who's that?
Oh!
I like that.
Gay air?
Also known as a fart.
Give me a second.
It comes out of the ass.
It's air that comes out of the ass.
Guys.
Uh-huh.
I'm an open butthole.
Okay, so there is Virgin, which is now owned Open butthole. No, no. Okay.
So there is Virgin.
That's Virgin.
Which is now owned by Alaska.
Like it a lot.
I would go with that.
Do they go everywhere?
They don't fly everywhere.
And from what I understand, you don't get first class upgrades.
That was years ago when I was trying to decide who I was going to go with.
But if you don't get first class upgrades, it's a waste.
I want first class upgrades all the time.
Yeah.
All the time.
The homie needs the leg room.
I need the leg room.
Yo. What are we going to do?
Huh?
What are we going to do?
We got to pick it right fucking now.
I'm doing it right fucking now.
I'm with United.
It's not great.
I'm going to be honest.
I hope somebody that works at United is listening.
Y'all ain't shit.
No.
Weezy was telling me don't go Delta because everybody goes Delta.
That's the one thing about Delta. But let me let me say one thing to that delta two things one
everybody seemed to get delta so it's harder to get the because you're competing with more people
we're calling gag non right now other but the other thing about delta is you fly so
fucking much you're gonna beat 95 i'm gonna beat them all yo you're on you're on to beat 95% of those guys out. I'm going to beat them all. Yo, you're on right now.
We're on flagrant two.
You're on right now.
You shut the fuck up.
No, this is not about you coming in tough.
Okay, this is serious.
Okay?
Right now, we're choosing what airline we're going to travel for the rest of our lives.
Okay?
Oh, wow.
Okay, this is a big decision.
Okay?
Because apparently, I'm not getting the points I deserve, and Akash says I should be first class on everything, but I'm not.
Yeah.
Okay?
Yeah.
So.
What airline did you go to Japan?
What airline did I go to?
Oh, no.
Japan Air.
See who they're affiliated with.
They're usually, like, with one of the major airlines,
and you can still get miles from that.
Oh, they got, like, a cousin or something that's in the system.
Yeah.
Yes.
Like Air France
is a part of the Delta team,
whatever, the Sky team.
So whatever I got that shit with,
you're saying I got a...
And you can transfer...
Because at all those points,
because if you fly business class,
you get double the mileage.
So like a 20,000 mile flight to Japan,
you get 40.
Double?
mileage so like a 20 000 mile flight to japan you get 40 double double say it
dumbledore
okay so i think whatever that whatever that airline is affiliated with mark whatever that airline is affiliated with, Mark,
whatever that airline is affiliated with,
I think that we're going to take that and we're going to go.
Hold up, Mark.
You're smart.
Just do research.
See what the best one is.
Go with that.
What's the best airline, Mark?
I'm thinking Delta.
You get a part of the Delta team.
That's what you want.
Or you just go private.
You stop being cheap.
What happened, Al?
No, he just said Delta, and we're not going to do Delta.
Why are we not doing Delta?
Because you're never going to get the upgrade.
You'll have all the points, but you'll never get the upgrade.
But that's what I'm saying is the idea is everybody flies Delta,
so you don't get as many upgrades.
He flies so much, I think he still beats those guys.
Yo, here's a question.
What if I just take all their points when they fly with me?
You can't.
You can only take the points you pay.
You get like the points.
I pay for it all.
But the upgrade points you don't get.
Damn.
It's different.
It's weird.
I got to take all their points.
Alex is just so loyal to Southwest.
He tried to fly that to Russia.
Are you a fucking idiot, dog?
Yo, son.
Son, son.
We're at the Russian visa, right?
Thank you for bringing that up, Gagnon.
So we're at the Russian visa place, right?
Try to save us money.
It's nerve-wracking.
You know what I mean? It's nerve-wracking. Of course.. This shit is mad, nerve wracking. You know what I mean?
Like, it's nerve wracking.
Of course.
Al got to lie about his felonies.
You know what I mean?
So we're going there.
And in order to get our visas, we have to have a flight to Russia.
We didn't have the flight yet.
So I'm like, Gagnon, go book the flights.
We're booking the flights.
And Al just turns around in front of everybody at the Russian visa place.
He goes, yo, yo, see if Southwest goes there because I got points.
I got mad points.
From New York to Sheriff Tanko Airport in Moscow or Southwest, bro.
I got points, bro.
Yo, see if they got Southwest or Spirit.
See if Spirit goes there.
How the fuck am I supposed to know what airlines go where?
They got a Chinatown bus
to go to Russia?
Son.
All right, Mark.
Figure that out
because we got to do this.
We got to be first class.
We should all be first class
the amount we fly, right?
Yeah.
Yeah, we're about to go
Casey Neistat.
Got him.
Got you.
All right.
Yo, the amount of people that know him from coming in his shower, it's hilarious.
Tell the story, Al.
Wait, which what?
He gets in every single show.
It's so funny.
Son, tell the story about Chicago.
Okay, so he gets on stage.
He's like, so he was selling merch before the show.
He's like, hey, I'm the
merch guy. Some of you know me as the merch
guy. And then people just start yelling
out, and you jerked off the
show to shower.
So the whole place goes,
oh!
So they erupted.
I told, because I had to tell,
it's like, people don't
get it Like We got
We got like the fucking
We got a mafia out here
You know what I mean
So like
When we introduce people
To the army
They know you
Yeah
It's different
You know what I mean
So like
When you come out to the shows
If you've been on the podcast
They're gonna know
Who the fuck you are
They're gonna know Chris
They're gonna know Giannis
They're gonna know all the people
But it was funny
They're like
You whacked off
And blah blah blah
What a bad first impression To make all the people. But it was funny. They're like, you whacked off and blah, blah, blah.
What a bad first impression to make on the Army.
God bless it.
Anyway, Akash, what else are we thinking?
Let me see what else.
The Chargers said that Melvin Gordon can seek a trade,
which I think means they are going to try to trade Melvin Gordon.
Now, I like that. But before we get into that, while we're talking about San Diego,
Now, I like that, but before we get into that, while we're talking about San Diego, it's very close to Mexico, which is a country very close to my heart.
And Mexico is the inventor of the taco.
Oh, yes.
Let's talk about that. And Lebron James announced on his Instagram that every Tuesday is Taco Tuesday.
Yeah.
Any cultural appropriation here?
None?
None whatsoever, but that's fine.
People were excited.
It was an embracement of another culture.
Yeah.
It was exciting to see.
I'm sure our Latino brothers and sisters were like,
ha, this is awesome to see
the greatest basketball player in history
embracing their culture, their cuisine.
What an amazing bridge that has been built to connect these two cultures.
And this week, LeBron James announced that he has trademarked Taco Tuesday, or is trying to trademark.
Trying to.
One, how?
Yeah, I don't understand.
Like, I've been having these thoughts lately just about how absurd a trademark is in a lot of ways.
Like, trademarking a word?
Ohio State tried to trademark the word the.
Son, what do these people think like
you don't own anything
like you don't the idea that you
can own shit is so fucking
absurd. Lil Duval
he created basic bitch. Yes. That's the guy
calling everybody basic bitch. Yes. Now
basic is just a term in the lexicon. Do you gotta
pay him five cents every time you say
basic? Dog, it is, even let's get
ready to rumble.
Okay, you said
a few words together. It doesn't make it
yours. I disagree with you guys,
man. Okay, go on. Go why?
Give me the other. So, let's take the
let's get ready to rumble guy. No, that's actually
because he's the first guy to really
make that thing. Taco Tuesday, every fucking town got a Mexican restaurant that does Taco Tuesday.
So if you pop up and now you have a Taco Tuesday on Instagram, it ain't yours.
So I don't know.
I didn't look into details, but I don't know if it's just spelled out the correct way or
Taco Tuesday, the same way how butt.
What the fuck? correct way or taco tuesday the same way how you thought that he trademarked using a mexican accent no because budweiser trademarked the
this is so fucking yeah so it's like if it's said that way no so then people can't put it on shirts
or use it in commercials if you're using his likeness and
saying taco tuesday i get it no because that's his likeness that you're not allowed to use
no but he's been saying it the way that he said it he popularized it like t-a-a-a-c-o-o
but how you can get around that easily if it's if he spells it t-a-a-a i can spell it t-a-e-t-a-a
or like an extra a yeah true but i'm just saying he just wants like that way of saying it
to be,
oh, that's my shit.
Why?
So he can make money off of it.
Well, I think it's so people
can't make money off
of what he popularized.
But in my opinion,
I don't think,
I don't think you should be able
to own words per se.
Like, and I know I come
from stand-up comedy, right?
So that's like hard
because people could say,
people say, you know,
what if somebody does your joke? You know what I mean? Yeah, that's different. I think that's hard because people could say, what if somebody does your joke?
You know what I mean?
Yeah, that's different.
I think that's somebody stealing your intellectual property.
He would say the same thing.
Yeah.
But what we would say is that existed before you and we know for a fact that existed before you.
We know 100% fact that Taco Tuesday existed before you.
So there's no way that you could say that's your intellectual property.
for you. So there's no way that you could say that's your intellectual property. Whereas I can argue that unless you can show me this exact thought that I've had, that I put together,
right? If someone else has had that and done that before me, then I can make the argument
that that thought is mine, right? What about poetry? What about it?
Someone writes a poem and then other people perform it
I mean that's yours man
it's like if they're
performing your poem
like
like yo that's yours
for me
as a comic
it would be about the credit
it would be
knowing
if you're doing my joke
knowing it's mine
if you're just telling somebody
Akash Singh said this joke
great
if you're saying the joke
as if it's yours and your thought, fine.
I don't think anybody is saying Taco Tuesday and people don't know where it's from.
Or even that.
It's like you can't trademark something that has existed before you.
That's so fucking dumb.
Yeah, but he's saying it different.
No, he's not.
His point is.
He's saying it like he thinks Mexicans say it.
It's like he's using a stereotypical Mexican accent to say it.
I'm surprised he hasn't gotten in trouble for that, to be honest.
Yeah, like imagine you were like, Chinatown buffet.
We'd be like, holy shit, this is the most racist.
LeBron, you are racist, but it's Taco Tuesday.
That's okay?
That shit rings off, son.
That shit rings off.
That's why I had two Taco Tuesdays after that. That shit rings off so it rings up that's right two taco tuesdays after that it rings off
but it's just like the budweiser whatsapp yeah but what's up has existed before that that's crazy
they trademarked that i think in his mind it's like i don't want to see motherfuckers selling
shirts with this on it but exactly it's also like man bro you're a billionaire like no you got to
take that l like i'm sorry if you make a billionaire. No, you got to take that L.
I'm sorry, if you make a fucking phrase funny or some shit like that. And everybody knows it's yours.
And if motherfuckers want to sell some shirts on their own,
it's not fucking Champion putting out Taco Tuesday shirts.
It's not Nike.
We share language.
We share phrases.
That's just part of culture that's shared.
If you're like, yes, if you invent that, whoever
the first person to invent that is, you gotta chalk
that up to the game, dog. You just invented that. That's
what it is.
I disagree.
Duvall should have capitalized off of Basic
Bitch. He should have trademarked it,
threw out some shirts. He could have made a bunch
of money. I'd be surprised if he wins this, to be honest.
He gotta lose it, bro.
Ohio State lost their THE thing, because they wanted to sell shirts that just said the on it which is a hot
shirt if you go to ohio hell yeah but i think people are like no you don't get to trademark
that word you just don't uh somebody else tried to tom brady tried to trademark terrific tom or
tom terrific and i think he they said no to that uh so talk to you i'd be surprised if it won and
then you had made the uh the argument one time it's like um if somebody invents something in america and then somebody
in turkey invents the same shit but has never seen that it shouldn't be illegal for them to do that
correct and i completely disagree with that because we can't prove that the person in turkey
didn't see well that's why you have like trademark coalition. I mean, that's how I feel with jokes.
If there's somebody that has thought of a similar idea than me as a joke,
but has never seen me perform, I've never seen them perform,
I'm not going to accuse them of stealing my joke.
I'm just going to say, hey, we both have parallel thinking in this regard,
and that's just what it is.
Matter of fact, whenever I've seen anybody do something similar to me,
I simply just go up to them and be like, hey, I just want to let you know
I have something similar to me i simply just go up to them like hey i just want to let you know i have i have something similar to that i'm not
accusing you of anything right clearly i don't know you so this is i just want to let you know
blah blah blah simple as that right because people can think of similar shit if there's one thing
that we understand from looking at comments underneath instagram pictures is motherfuckers
say the same shit you look at any popular instagram account look at the comments that are under a pic it will
be the the top comments will all be like similar they'll be like all the same general idea about
the pic and then people like it and think it's kind of funny these things happen so how do you
feel about remember when we went to Europe and they have like the Carlin
guy and, you know.
Well, that's different.
That is purposely stealing.
That's purposeful stealing.
What do you mean the Carlin guy?
So in Europe, they didn't understand how to do comedy.
So what they just did is they took Americans comedy and they just translated it to their
language and then they would just do people's jokes.
So there would be one guy who was the Carlin guy
and another guy who was the Lenny Bruce guy
and another guy that was this,
and they would just do their bits.
For me, the differentiator, like I said, is credit.
If everybody knows Taco Tuesday's LeBron's
and somebody wants to sell T-shirts with it,
if I'm LeBron, I'm like,
oh, that's great, that's getting my shit out there more.
Now, he probably feels different
because he doesn't ever say anything
that's useful to people. Nobody's
out here taking LeBron's words.
Right. Yeah, but how would you feel about
if there's, in China, the
Akash guy? If everybody knows he's
doing me, great. Now, what if they don't know?
That's the difference. But everybody knows
Taco Tuesday is LeBron. If you're selling a Taco
Tuesday shirt, the only reason I'm buying it is to sell
LeBron. Yeah, but why would you feel a way
if you can't perform the jokes in Chinese
anyway? So it's not like you're
missing out on any money. Because
it's intent. If they see me, it's also
intent. If they see
me and they speak English, they're going to be
going, oh, that guy just
Yeah, if they speak English.
Back up from that. And I can't speak for you.
All I'm saying is for me, it's intent.
If you intend to steal my shit and profit on it that's wrong if you were literally just making
the same observation about a bottle of water and then we happen to do that that's fine that's why
that's the same thing for example like when i was given the patent example with the zipper it's like
if you create a zipper in america and that's what you want to do and some guy in turkey wants to
close his shirt so he makes a zipper device that kind kind of America shouldn't be able to, what is it called, sue that guy in Turkey.
But if you're a guy in America who worked at the zipper factory and then you go like, fuck this, I'm starting my own factory, you start making zippers the exact same formula.
It's like, no, you stole.
You intended to steal.
formula it's like no you stole you intended to steal so then why don't you agree with trademarking words because lebron's work ethic his likeness the reason why taco tuesday's popular is because
of all the work he's put in so now he made back up back up back up can i just finish this point
so he made it to say it that way and so if somebody puts it on a shirt, Taco Tuesday long, they're profiting off of what he made popular.
Let me ask you a question.
How do Mexicans say Taco Tuesday?
Come on, son.
Taco Tuesday.
Like that.
Taco Tuesday.
No, you're being hysterical.
I am or LeBron is?
LeBron is.
So what I'm trying to say is, has Taco Tuesday existed before LeBron?
Yes.
Has a Mexican said Taco Tuesday out loud with their accent?
Yes, but not the way LeBron said it.
No, of course, because LeBron doesn't know how to do the accent well.
Exactly.
But his intent was to copy a Mexican saying some shit that has already been said
that has already been marketed all around
America, has already been marketed
all over the place. Also, it doesn't say
I'm looking at the article to our point
it says he's just
filing to trademark the term
Taco Tuesday. Not even the spelling.
I didn't get more on board of his T-A-C-O-O
and then I was thinking, I was like, maybe I would be annoyed
especially if I'm LeBron and again I don't get more on board of his TA, COO and then I was thinking I was like maybe I would be annoyed if especially if I'm LeBron
and again I don't say shit
people copy a bunch
and now I did it
and now I see motherfuckers
making money off my shit
I can see that being annoying.
Just trademarking
the term Taco Tuesday
son 100,000 Mexican restaurants
in America
have had Taco Tuesday
before you.
So that
So fuck yourself
if that's what you're trademarking.
Your intent is to copy something
and then profit on it.
That's your intent.
Your intent.
Now, if he invents like a crazy new phrase, watermelon Wednesday, and I'm not even saying
that to be racial.
I'm just saying.
You know what I'm saying?
So, whatever like that.
I'm doing soul food Saturdays and I'm trademarking.
Soul food Saturday.
I'm doing soul food Saturdays and that's mine.
So, anybody wants to take it, we're having fried catfish.
You can have it because we do soul food on Sundays.
Imagine an Indian.
Imagine an Indian was like, literally did like a stereotypical southern accent.
Soul food Saturday.
I just dress up as the Popeye's lady.
And then start trying to trademark it.
Black people would go crazy.
What the fuck are you doing?
It's cultural appropriation.
You can't do it.
We've been in the soul food
Saturday forever.
That's all I'm saying.
It's just the intent.
But it's so absurd
he even thought he could do it.
You have to live
in a delusional reality.
That's some real white shit
to take something
from a minority
who's more oppressed than you
and then make money on it
and trademark it
so they can't make money on it.
That's some shit
y'all accuse white people
of doing. Respect. Hey, bro shit y'all accuse white people of doing.
Respect.
Hey, bro, y'all playing a game.
Y'all finally understand.
Y'all finally understand.
Well, listen,
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Welcome to what's next.
And we back, baby.
Akash is back.
Son.
Can we talk about how useless having them WNBA teams in there is?
Stop.
No, I'm not.
It's the ad. We got to talk.
Listen, I'm still going to...
Listen, people are going to get NBA 2K20.
It's hot, dog.
The game is fire.
You build the whole team.
You start from scratch.
You can play on the blacktop.
You know what I mean?
And you got the WNBA.
It's like bonus features on a DVD back in the day.
They didn't make the movie whack.
Movie was dope.
Makes it even better.
I don't need some of these bonus features. I don't need director commentary throughout the movie. They didn't make the movie whack. The movie was dope. Makes it even better. I just, you know,
I don't need some of these bonus features.
I don't need director commentary
throughout the movie.
Real talk.
That's WNBA.
Yo, y'all knew it was 12 teams?
In the WNBA?
I had no clue.
I thought it was more.
I thought it was more.
It's only 12 teams in the WNBA.
You learn something new every single day.
So each season is just the playoffs?
Basically.
2016 makes the NBA playoffs.
Bro, this is wild.
Okay, so WNBA, okay, they're in.
So I don't understand.
So like when girls, here's what I'm trying to understand. So like when girls are growing up, they still want to play like NBA players, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Right?
Yeah.
Like I imagine you want to play like the best people that play regardless of gender, which happen to be NBA players, right?
and this game is all about playing as the people that you dream to play like,
why would you play WNBA mode?
I predict this will be the least used feature in any video game.
Yo, they got to.
They got to.
That's going to be great. I would love to see the analytics.
They got to do the analytics of how many times people have played.
No, we should log on and try to play.
You know how they have the
international play?
Not international, but global
play. You can play against each other.
Dude, we should log on.
Logging on to that is going to be like chat roulette.
You know when you thought you were going to get to
see some titties, but it's just dicks all the time?
That's it.
We log on. Try to play WNBA
2K.
We just try to play
WNBA 2K. I wonder if
they're going to make the players better than they really are.
I wonder how many players are going to be able to dunk.
Oh, there's a couple that can
dunk. Listen, you make the
NBA players better than they are.
You're going to close the gap.
Yes.
Because if you made it too realistic, everybody would think it wasn't
realistic. Right. You don't want to make
it too realistic. Yeah. But like
even just the gameplay is
just going to be boring. Like we played
the NBA 2K
joint so we could fucking dunk on people's
heads. Imagine like a
fast break. And you just do a layup.
Yeah. Like there's usually a button that you can like do a trick dunk. That's what do a layup? Yeah. There's usually a button
that you can do a trick dunk. I think they're gonna
be able to dunk a few of them. I bet they're gonna make
them better than they are. Okay, so there's gonna be two or
three that can dunk. I bet they're gonna make a lot of them able
to dunk. And they're
not gonna make it too ridiculous, but they're gonna make
it... They're gonna close the gap.
Whatever. We don't have to
talk about it anymore. They should have them going up
for dunks and just fucking bricking. Sp yeah like that would be realistic um guys let me ask this question
and it's just just it's just uh it's it's for latin women mostly
why is it latin women any if there's any Latinas listening,
why is it that when y'all get fat, you don't buy bigger jeans?
Like, I'd never have understood this.
Like, they just wear the same jeans,
and then the fat just, like, kind of spills over the jeans.
Yeah.
But why is that?
And they'll wear the same belly shirts even if their belly's growing.
Like, why is it?
How are they so unaffected by their weight gain?
Have you seen Latin men?
They do the same shit?
Or they just don't care?
They don't care.
They fucking everything.
So that's the thing.
They just do not care.
So Latin men have five wives.
Really?
Yeah.
Maybe I'm exaggerating. Really? Yeah.
Maybe I'm exaggerating.
At least two.
At least two.
They have the main wife here, and then they have the girlfriend back at home,
and they'll just take care of two families.
That's like a common thing they don't like to talk about.
How do you know this?
Because you have Puerto Rican?
I just know, yeah, of the culture. We did a dropping in episode, and the guy was saying that to us.
He was like, yeah, you always have your family in DR and then your family here.
That's wild to me, dog.
It is wild.
Maybe we've spoken about it on this podcast, but like if that's the case and everybody knows that's the case,
why do the girls get so upset when they find a guy cheating?
Because they just don't like to get embarrassed.
So it's like, hey, we know what's happening.
Just don't be sloppy with it.
Oh, so you just did it in front of everybody.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You don't want to know.
You piece of shit.
I've heard that from women.
I don't want to find out about it.
I don't want to find out about it.
I mean, that is some dickhead shit.
I used to date this Dominican girl,
and her family was the side family.
Oh.
Yeah.
Wow.
So it was like the father rarely was around.
He'd hit him off with money every once in a while,
but definitely had a whole other family.
To make that girl happy, why would you ever break up with her?
Yo, what is that?
What does she go through?
Nah, daddy issues, man.
What does she go through emotionally?
That's fucking crazy.
Why do they want another family I don't understand that
That's what I'm saying
That makes no sense
Cheating I understand
On a biological level
I don't
But the responsibility
Of a whole other family
Who was to blame
You just said responsibility
Even
Not like
Even like paying money for it
Like all that kind of shit
Like just coming over
You know Christmas Eve and shit
Yeah but
You know when you go to DR
You live like a king with $100
It's not that much more
So they're just sending money over
Yeah send a little money over
Every once in a while
You go over there
Fuck them
So it's like the starving kids
Where you just gotta give them a little bit
$12 a month
Yeah
How much is it up to now? Bro little bit. $12 a month. Yeah.
How much is it up to now?
Bro, it's like $30 a month.
A dollar a day.
It used to be $0.10 a day. It used to be cents.
I know, bro.
I know.
These poor kids got greedy.
They getting hungry.
We gave them an appetite.
They spoiled, dog.
Spoiled, bro.
That's why their stomach's so big.
All full and shit.
Stop feeding them a dollar a day. these motherfuckers getting obese out there
real talk damn sarah mclaughlin you need to chill turn off that music sarah oh man shit
giving these kids hypertension bro don't you be hearing two women nagging you at the same time
that's awful dog they don't deal with that. They just get drunk.
They just get drunk and they go hang out in the corner with.
Is that why they play the music so loud so they can't hear the girls bitching?
The second the girl starts to complain about something, you just say. And that's why they always got the windows down in the cars
and they play with no headphones on the train.
They're just trying to help everybody else out.
Hey, in case your bitch is nagging you, here you go.
Just listen to some Gasolina real quick.
Drown this shit out.
Damn, son.
Oh, man.
Yeah, man.
Yo, they got that shit made, bro.
They really got it
They figured it out
Keep your girl dancing
Keep music on
Keep shit happening
Keep her pregnant
It's always moving
Keep her pregnant
It's always
Keep the machine going
It's like the American economy
It's like debt
We'll figure that out later
Just keep on going bro
Keep on salsaing that shit
Old Spanish men
Are the happiest guys
They really are
They never upset
Playing dominoes Yeah Yeah. What if that
game dominoes is really just about side
bitches? It's like
three. I'll match your three.
Dude. That's it.
They really figured out life.
They just
accept that their girl's gonna be nagging about
shit. That's where
us whites and us blacks, we do
not understand yet. We're all trying to figure
out our women. We're trying to understand
why they're upset and get to
the bottom of it. That's something us white and
blacks say all the time. Alright, let's get to the bottom
of this. Ain't no bottom.
These bitches is empty.
It's a pit.
It's a bottomless pit. It's a black hole
of complaints and nagging. That's it. That's a bottomless pit It's a black hole Of complaints and nagging
That's it
That's all it is
All you gotta do is
But them Spanish understand it
So they're like
What was that?
Suavemente
Besame
I'm sorry
All the songs
They screaming
They are screaming
They screaming
I'm sorry
I can't hear you
I'm at my other wife's house
Wow
Bro that's the fucking
they figured it out man they're happy all of them are happy holy shit so it's just let your girl
complain yeah and the second your girl starts complaining you go to your other girl and then
when she starts complaining you go back to your original girl and she's so happy to have you back
she's not complaining for a little bit oh my god that's great maybe that's why they call it a seesaw
because like i see i saw
it's just describes the latino relationship i see you for a little bit you're an idiot you really are an idiot yeah baby
bro they gotta figure the fuck out man all right let's do another sports story we gotta do another
one we out here having too much fun oh bro we really having too much fun out here motherfucker
i know this shit gonna end as soon as we get home For y'all For y'all
Oh why not for all three of us
Fuck you
Yo
Can we just
No
Alright
Stop
Sports
You started it motherfucker
Yo why did he start it
I know
You started it
No misery loves company son
You can't be miserable with us
Real talk
You can't be miserable with us bro I'm. You can't be miserable with us, bro.
But that's not alone.
I'm happy.
I'm going to Russia, baby.
What about you?
I'm going to Russia, all right?
Come back with another one, son.
What the fuck is going to the source?
He got serious.
He got serious He got serious
This motherfucker got serious
We need Alex Cam, dog
He went like this
He went
You missed a sniff
Might come back with a little wife or something
I don't know
That's your tesseract
White ass countries
Yo, but that's the thing about these Ruskies,
these Russian chicks.
They got some Asian in them.
Oh, so they a little docile?
No.
These bitches will salt you, bro.
They don't play.
But they got a little Asian in them, right?
Because if you go like way east in Russia,
they all Asian looking.
So that little mixture
makes them extra pretty bro
prettiest white women bro
Russians
prettiest white women
do you know
prettiest not
well yeah
do you know about like
the whole Russian wife thing
why is that a big deal
or why
mail order brides
yeah
because there was no men
yeah
they all died in Chernobyl
son
they died in World War 2 25 million all died in Chernobyl. So they were just shipping their women out?
25 million Russians died in World War II, majority men.
So now you have this surplus of women in the culture.
You have this crazy sexual revolution because bitches just needed dick.
There was no dick to go around.
So it was all these badass Russian bitches.
No dudes to get them pregnant or fuck.
The dudes that were there were getting drunk on vodka and that shit
because you're dealing with a horribly depressing time.
So they're like,
fuck it, we out, man.
So when you order one,
who's the money going to?
Russian Iceberg Slim, dog.
Real talk.
Who, her?
No, I don't know.
Maybe some pimp service.
But on some real shit,
maybe a little goes to her family
or something. Who knows? But I think the rationale behind it is like yo my life
sucks here i could definitely be in a shitty relationship yeah in america if i'm gonna be
a shitty relationship here i might as well be a shitty relationship in phoenix
like that's the thing i think that's why they make the best mail order brides, whatever,
is because their culture, this is not a negative thing to say,
but their cultural verb or whatever is to suffer.
I was talking to these guys about this,
and this guy was like map the cultural codes of the world,
and their verb is to suffer, right?
And suffering, we look at it as a bad thing,
but it's not necessarily a bad thing.
That's why he'll never beat them at war because when they're suffering,
that's when they're most comfortable and they admire suffering.
Like when you see like a,
like a male ballerina or some shit in Russia,
they think that's macho.
They think that's like,
there's,
they honor that.
They're like,
he's not some pussy.
Like we look at him America.
They're like the amount of suffering he must've gone through to get to that must have fucked to get to that yeah exactly you
know what i mean so it's like they admire that shit any sort of that's why they have such great
art that comes out of there you know ballet writing dostoevsky like all these people wrote
about misery they wrote about suffering but there's this there's great art that comes from
russia and that's where where vodka plays into the culture.
Because the vodka,
like they actually have a lot of passion,
but they're such cold people.
But their passion is,
the access point to that is vodka.
And it's like,
that's why it's so important to them.
It's not about being drunk.
It's about connecting emotionally.
We're going to be so blocked off and cut off from the world
and from humanity and from community
but this one thing
allows us to open up for a little bit
and let other people in and connect.
That's why it's like
apparently vodka is ubiquitous with everything.
You're on a walk in the forest,
here's some vodka. We're going skiing,
here's some vodka. It's everywhere.
Apparently. We'll find out, but that's what I've been hearing.
I'm stoked for as long as we don't die
yeah I still think
it's a set up
we could die
yeah a couple people
are nervous
so we might die
we might die
alright let's do one more
and then we gotta
run up out of here
send sends
let me tell you
here's the stories I saw
let me know which one
catches you
Rock to extend Eric Gordon
Sean McCoy to the Chiefs
the Pats released Demaryius Thomas.
They're probably going to re-sign him. The Chargers
might trade Melvin Gordon.
Or Pop has kind of anointed
Donovan Mitchell the leader of Team USA.
Yeah, what do you think about that?
I don't know if it's because Donovan Mitchell's about to
break out or if it's because Team USA sucks
that much. Fam, we really suck.
I mean, like...
It's bad, huh? the article i read was talking about
how close they are and it's like if that's what we're banking on is their friends we're not the
best i never heard a team describe the only positive thing you could write about yeah if
the best thing you're talking about is the team's chemistry i promise you that's not the most
talented team bro have you seen their handshakes bro these guys have some amazing hands they really
like each other bro you gotta hear these inside jokes amazing handshakes. They really like each other.
Bro, you got to hear these inside jokes.
I mean, the way they're ribbing each other is they're flying from country to country to play in this basketball tournament.
I mean, it's unprecedented.
It's unprecedented.
Well, right now we're up against Czech Republic, 88 to 67.
We supposed to.
Yeah.
They don't have any blacks.
We're playing countries that have no blacks.
Bro, we lost to Australia,ia dog they just got blacks they just got blacks right like we're not supposed to
lose to these european ass countries bro hell no like that's embarrassing that's sad our b squad
is supposed to still beat these motherfuckers if we lose lose to the fucking, what are they called? Lithuania
or any of that shit? Again, dog. Come on, dude.
Spain? Come on,
bro. No, this is embarrassment.
We gotta go to war.
No, we gotta go to war. If we lose,
we gotta go to war.
With the country that beat us or just any country?
Yo, at that point,
we just gotta show off.
We gotta let people know what the fuck time it is.
You might be right.
Watch they lose.
That's probably why we went to Iraq that second time.
Son.
It's like, yo, we got bronze?
Now y'all got to get bombed.
Who's the bronzest looking people?
Because stay out of here.
Stay fucking out of here.
All right?
Real talk.
That might be the fucking problem, bro.
Bro, we lost in 2002.
All of a sudden, 2003, we have war.
Son, weapons of mass destruction.
That Spanish national team.
That's what that shit was.
Manu, bro.
That's on Manu.
Oh, no, Argentina?
We lost Argentina?
I think they got gold, but we lost it.
Maybe we lost it.
I don't know who we lost to, actually.
Whatever.
Point is, we can't lose. You know what? I'm not going to lie. If we do lose, Trump, but we lost it. Maybe we lost it. I don't know who we lost it to, actually. Whatever. Point is, we can't lose.
You know what?
I'm not going to lie.
If we do lose, Trump is going to love it because he's going to be like, look who won't be invited
to the White House.
Oh, you thought you were going to boycott.
Well, we boycott losers over here.
Ain't no bronze in the White House.
You're not getting these fresh Popeye's chicken sandwiches.
Son, who's getting the Popeye's chicken sandwiches first? At the White House. Fam. Son getting these fresh Popeye's chicken sandwiches. Son, who's getting the Popeye's chicken sandwiches first?
At the White House.
Fam.
Son.
That is going to be a show.
Fam.
Did we talk about it yet?
Yeah, we did, we did.
We didn't talk about
the Popeye's chicken sandwich?
Have you tried it yet?
No.
I thought we talked about it here.
Or maybe it was idiots.
I don't know.
I thought I had the finesse move, dog.
I went to, you know,
Jersey got all these rest stops.
Mm-hmm.
I went to one of them.
Stopped Popeye's. I was like, this is the finesse move. No fucking line. to, you know, Jersey got all these rest stops. I went to one of them,
saw Popeye's.
I was like,
this is the finesse move.
No fucking line.
They don't even sell the chicken sandwich.
Nope.
It sold out everywhere.
We drove by one yesterday
that had it,
but we didn't stop in.
Yo, you know who's on it now, son?
They have a sign
that says we have chicken sandwiches
like Jordan's.
Wow.
You know who's on it now?
Who?
Them Asians
How so?
So Koreans make bomb fried chicken
That's true
Bomb fried chicken
That's true
Like they do not play around
I look for Alex to co-sign it
I'm wrong?
No
Korean fried chicken is very good
It's very well known
I'll go to K-Town just for the fried chicken
They're good It's a bonding thing It's break dancing and and very well respected. I'll go to K-Town just for the fried chicken.
They're good.
That is.
It's a bonding thing.
It's break dancing and fried chicken.
That's what y'all bond about.
Facts.
Okay?
Oh, shit.
Koreans lined up.
Lined up outside the Popeyes, son.
Lined up.
It's on another level now.
Once it breaks away from just blacks and whites, bro,
once all the minority groups are coming together to do it,
it's on another level.
It's a wrap.
It's a wrap.
It's nothing you can do.
Popeye's coming up big.
Popeye's showing big
first quarter gains, bro.
Oh, Popeye's doing numbers, bro.
I mean, the smart thing right now
might be the short Popeye's
if it's a public company.
Are you short again?
Everybody tells me
I learn this every year.
As bet against the stock
instead of bet
that the stock's gonna go down
because they're at the highest
it's ever gonna be
and they can't maintain this.
No way.
No.
Short that puppy.
That's a good financial tip.
Now, I don't know how to do that
so don't do it,
but I'm just saying.
Look up how to short a stock.
Yeah, look that up.
Let us know.
Let us know if it works
so I can take credit. Okay? to short a stock Yeah look that up Let us know Let us know if it works So I can take credit
Okay
Yo we need to just
Trademark some dumb shit
Just to prove how dumb it is
Short stock Saturdays
Real talk
Let's trademark some
Dumb ass shit
Just to prove how
Fucking dumb that is
Alright
When we get rich
How we get rich
Bro you getting there
Somebody's gonna Sell our shit Make millions And then we're gonna sue them Alright, when we get rich. How we get rich? Bro, you getting there?
Somebody's gonna sell our shit, make millions, and then we're gonna sue them.
Oh, fuck.
Yeah.
Oh, shit.
Somebody's been talking to us about, and I need to follow up, about flagrant cryptocurrency.
We would have our own cryptocurrency?
We should be ill.
Asshole cryptocurrency?
Oh, my God. I still can't understand that cryptocurrency.
Bro, me neither. He sent a thing. I gotta read it.
I've been busy with it.
Until I can understand it, I ain't fucking with it.
Even though I have stock in it, but that shit plummeted.
What, Bitcoin?
I got some litecoins that I'm just holding on to.
Stay on Bitcoin. You're good.
Just stay on there. It's a long-term bet.
Cryptocurrency.
How do the crypts not have that ha bro
yo they gotta have some crypto son if every time you got if you got initiated you got a bitcoin
that shit would be ill so bitcoin would be blood oh right cryptocurrency would be coin
crip coin son whoa let's trademark crip coin i don't want any beef with them bro you can have
your shit back if i was a blood i'd trademark crip coin that'd't want any beef with them bro you can have your shit back
if I was a blood
I'd trademark
Cripcoin for sure
that'd be a good move
if they really want to go
if they want to have
that warfare
that's the fucking
way to do it
alright one last one
and then we gotta
we gotta dip
I still
I read the stories
that I had seen
so let me know
Alex
also if you
if you don't mind
checking one more time
seeing if anything
popped up
we're doing this
on Sunday so if any new
yeah guys
if we are I will say this okay
before we wrap this up I will say
this
I love y'all
thank y'all so much for watching
views from the cysts thank you so much for watching
the crowd work special
by the time this is out the crowd work special. By the time this is out, the crowd work special will be at around half a million views just on YouTube.
We include Twitter, Instagram.
We're over a million.
Damn.
It's really fucking amazing, dog.
No promo.
No press release.
No nothing.
Literally just dropped it on YouTube and y'all shared it.
This has been the most shared piece of my content in history by far.
I can't even tell you motherfuckers.
It's on Instagram, sharing it, telling people on Twitter.
It's like it was unbelievable to see.
It was unbelievable.
Alex got his flowers, man.
Alex starting to get mentioned in the write-ups.
That was pretty cool.
What's up?
What did they call you? I don't know. Alex got his flowers, man. Alex starting to get mentioned in the write-ups. That was pretty cool. What's up, Alex, though?
What'd they call you?
I don't know.
They called him something cool in a cool write-up in the Intero Bank.
Check that shit out.
But I really appreciate that, man.
I think that we did something that was, you know, I think it was awesome for comedy. I think it proved something comedically, which is really just people want to laugh at themselves,
and they can laugh at themselves.
Great sick joke on there.
Thank you, man.
I appreciate that, man.
Shout out to my six.
It was one of those things that I've always believed that you can make fun of somebody no matter what culture if you show them that you actually know a little about their culture.
And it's like the corny jokes.
I would rather you knowingly make fun of me than not knowingly be nice to me.
Right.
Like this blanket, oh, I love your culture.
You don't know anything about it.
Shut up, phony fuck.
Yeah.
So it's like it's interesting.
And I get a lot of comments like why is it that they're okay with you making fun of them or this, that, the other?
And if you just look at the way the people that are from those cultures react they just they just
appreciate it's not the same hack joke made about them 100 like how often do sick people have to
hear like muslim terrorist jokes and it's like dude we're not even muslim you're sick yeah you
know so it's like the fact that someone can differentiate in and of itself they're like
okay you're not just some fucking hack going for the easy Korean joke about breakdancing as opposed to just Chinese right exactly I'm not just like
making making this big grass what is it uh what's it called generalization right um but it was just
really cool it was just a really cool thing to see and see grow organically and truly organically
grow because because we didn't hit the algorithm. And YouTube did a little sneaky shit. They were asking people to review their experience watching it.
Really?
And I think it's because they've never done this with any other video that we've had out.
But I think what happened is we had so many people going to it in such high viewing and such high like to dislike ratio.
We got 1,000 to 1 like to dislike ratio.
It was insane. I think that either YouTube, who's been eyeing me, is going, what's this guy doing? like to dislike ratio we got a thousand to one dislike to dislike ratio like it's insane i think
that either youtube who's been eyeing me is going what's this guy doing what's what's going on over
here like i think it's like some some uh shady shit some there's some shady shit they're like
is this really fucked up but he's producing like can we get behind this with advertisers
why are so many people going to this video and watching it all the way through like what the
fuck is happening over here tell Tell us about your experience.
Because they need to be careful before they throw it into the algorithm.
This right here is organic.
It's not the algorithm.
We experience a steady bump the whole time.
When your shit gets into the algorithm, and Alex, you can attest to this,
it explodes.
It usually hits around like 100 and then explodes.
Skyrocketing.
This was 10,000 an hour for hours on end until we got up to here.
And it's still going.
And that's literally because person by person, people are sharing this with their friends.
Spreading like a disease, man.
It's amazing to do this in spite of YouTube trying to hold us back.
In spite of these different things and like
it's just so fucking cool so thank you all so much and keep sharing it if you love it and you
think it's uh important for comedy and you want to show people that people still have a sense of
humor keep putting that shit out um i got shadow banned by ig you did yeah oh sick yeah when did
it happen because my all of i couldn't figure, well, they took down a video that wasn't offensive.
They said it was bullying or something.
I appealed.
They immediately put it back up.
Then all of a sudden.
How do you appeal?
It just says, as they took it down, they said, if you would like to appeal, do so here.
And I just said, this isn't offensive or something.
Right.
And then 20 minutes later, they're like, your appeal has been approved, upheld, whatever.
The video's back online.
But, you know, if you can look, I can look at my page,
and it has the number of people who visit in the past seven days.
It legitimately in the past week has dropped 75% or something like that.
Like I was getting like no bullshit, like 30,000 people in the last seven days,
which for me at the time I had 15,000 followers.
I was getting like a couple hundred followers a day.
And every video was just getting shared and commented, whatever.
Then all of a sudden it just stopped.
I had 415,000 on one joke.
And it's getting like 10, 15,000 a day.
I'm like, oh, when it hits 500,000, I'll post about it, whatever.
All of a sudden I went back and checked.
It's gotten like 400 views in the past week.
And then my mom called me.
She said, how come when I search on your name on Google,
your Instagram doesn't pop up anymore?
Because she foreign. But if you search my name on Google, your Instagram doesn't pop up anymore? Because she foreign.
But if you search my name on Google, type in Akash Singh, Akash Singh website, Akash Singh Twitter, Akash Singh IMDB, Akash Singh famous birthdays, no Instagram.
Yeah.
So they basically, this is their way of like suppressing problematic people. And this is the hardest time.
You know, basically what happened with you is, yeah, yeah.
So what happened with you is you got the initial buzz that a lot of people get when they put out clips, right?
Like because the algorithm triggers momentum and you had all this momentum.
So they're like, oh, my God, people must love this because it's all math, right?
They're not people at this point, right?
It's all math.
And they're like, oh, people must love this stuff,
so let's really push this content
because people love this content.
So they push it out, et cetera.
Then they push it out,
and the great thing about pushing it out
is you get new people.
The problem with pushing it out
is that some of those new people
aren't familiar with the flagrancy.
Yeah.
Right?
So those new people complain.
Those new people flag.
Those new people say this is awful.
Right.
The AI that is Instagram starts going, oh, shit.
Well, we shouldn't push this all the way out here to everybody because-
People are offended.
And we want when anybody comes on our platform to have a lovely, happy experience, and we
don't want anybody triggered, and we don't want any of the-
Right.
to have a lovely, happy experience and we don't want anybody triggered and we don't want any da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da- for a little bit and then that will go away or they're just limiting your reach. Like none of my shit will ever hit the explore page
and if it does
it's very rarely.
Right.
You were probably hitting explore
immediately
and now they're like
yo back the fuck up.
Right.
So you just gotta grassroots it
and it will happen.
You'll have another video
go out there
and plug away.
I'm gonna keep putting up content
assholes keep telling people.
Yeah keep sharing it.
Keep guys keep sharing it.
If you like it tell people.
Share with people.
It's very helpful.
That's it.
But um
and that's the next goal
really for us to be honest with you is to become too big to shadow.
Right.
Right?
Like, you know, Rogan is too big to shadow.
You can't shadow him because if you do, the whole world goes, ooh, see?
You're caught.
Right.
They can shadow them with impunity with us because people don't care enough.
Yeah.
Right?
So it's like, but eventually if I can get to that level where I'm big enough,
where if you do anything that is against policy to me,
it makes you look bad as a company, then we get freedom again.
So this is the most trying time in our internet relationship.
We are fighting to break through this time.
And when we break through this time, then we enter the power brokers.
We're one of the power brokers.
And we dictate what is real news and we dictate what is real comedy.
And we are one of the people that are involved in this discussion.
And that's going to be the fight of our careers and the fight of our lives, realistically speaking.
Shit, I want to get shadowbanned.
It's getting to the next level.
No, you don't.
It's like a badge of honor
we need you not
you know what I mean
because we need some people
that are available
to dictate
like let's say
I'm completely banned
we need people to be able
to see you and go
yo what's up with Schultz
and then you go
this is what's happening
it does sound kind of cool
because I was like
yo am I not pushing
the right buttons
if I want to get shadowbanned
but once you do
you're like
nobody's seeing this shit
nobody's seeing this shit anymore
heartbreaking
put all this work into a bit.
You know what I mean?
I put maybe my favorite bit up this week.
And again, I got a mad comment.
It's so funny.
But it didn't pop at all.
And I was like, what's going on?
That's the easiest way to tell if you're being suppressed.
Like, if you look at comments.
Like, whenever I look at people's videos, I look at comments.
Because the views can be fake.
Right?
Like, there are people out there
they're not fake views but they're like they're like you know there are some people out there
probably have like five million views on some video and they got 50 comments and it's like oh
you were just put into a feed that a lot of people just scroll through and they're not like taking
hit them it didn't touch anybody didn't touch a comment exactly but if you're getting tons of
comments along with your views it's like oh no motherfuckers are watching
your shit
you know
so it's
don't worry
things are good
we're gonna figure
this shit out
good things
good things coming
we got a bunch of shows
coming up
yo New York City
Town Hall
sold out man
that shit's crazy man
we're like three months out
New York City Town Hall
sold out
I got some ideas
about what we're gonna do
with that
but yo thank you everybody who got tickets ahead of time.
It's unbelievable to sell out the town fucking hall in New York City, man.
So thank you all so much for that.
We're adding more shows to Australia.
So make sure you go get those shits.
If you couldn't get tickets, go get them.
Are we going to have any time to chill out there?
Say what?
Are we going to have any time to chill out there?
I ain't paying you to chill.
Nah, but I'm just saying.
What, is this guy crazy?
Nah, but we want to enjoy the country too, right?
No.
I thought we wanted to shoot a bunch of dropping ins.
No, we're going to shoot maybe two or something.
We're out there for like two weeks.
But it's not vacation.
It's grind time, baby.
We got to make the money to fly you motherfuckers out there and fly you around Australia.
That shit's expensive.
Are we doing New Zealand?
They're still asking.
No, we won't have time.
You bought your Australia tickets?
Yeah, we did.
What airline?
I don't know.
That's even more than Japan.
Damn, probably.
Dumb shit.
Not Southwest?
But yeah, so we added some.
So go.
Go get them shits.
Go get them early, man.
We on our way.
We about to be out there.
I'm very excited for that so theandrewschultz.com uh get all them tickets and then many more dates that are in um
the states as well so theandrewschultz.com get all those tickets to that you know the boston show
that's almost sold out get on that seattle show that's almost sold out get on that we got atlanta
sacramento chico california philadelphia hawaii we added more dates so go get them shits right now I'll get on that. We got Atlanta, Sacramento, Chico, California, Philadelphia, Hawaii.
We added more dates, so go get them shits right now.
Akash, what you got?
Big Desi Energy Tour kicks off this weekend.
Come through.
We started in Houston at the Secret Group September 6th at 8 p.m.
Then the next day we were in Austin at the Fallout Theater at 7 p.m.
Back there again September 8th at 8.30 p.m.
September 13th, San Fran, Piano Fight,
two shows, 8 and 10.30.
September 19th, L.A.,
we're going to the Belly Room at 8 p.m.
The 20th, we're in Portland,
Curious Comedy, 7.30 p.m.
And October 11th, Minneapolis,
two shows, 8 and 10.30.
Shooters in any city, holler at me.
We had some lined up in Houston.
I think something came up for the guy.
He might not be able to make it.
So if you're in Houston, especially this week, Houston and Austin, holler at me.
We need shooters.
All right?
Guys, this has been another episode of Flagrant 2.
No easy buckets.
Analysis by assholes.
Water cooling commentary for your sports news.
We love you all.
Keep it very fucking tight.
Peace. sports news we love y'all keep it very fucking tight peace