ANMA - The Mall is Back and Filthy
Episode Date: December 26, 2022Good morning, Gus! Coming to you from the Mall food court, it's a Starbucks edition of ANMA. In this episode, Gus and Geoff talk about Everything in the food court, Milly’s Sketchers, Getting the or...iginal Xbox & launch titles, Machinimating anything, Crotch trouble, Quoting ourselves, Awards, Bearers of the original grudges, and The day we took down Yahoo. Get an ANMA shirt at www.store.roosterteeth.com Sponsored by Dad Grass http://dadgrass.com/anma Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Okay.
So the mall's fucking filthy.
Okay, hang on.
Listen, everything here is covered in dust or grease or crumbs.
There's a car at the entrance that you can win, I guess, that is covered in dust and
people have drawn penises all over it.
Austin Subaru, if you're listening to this,
since someone to come wipe down that Subaru
that people can win, because it's covered in dicks right now.
I mean, this is the first thing you see
when you walk into the mall is a blue Subaru covered in dicks.
We walked up to the food court.
I have to move chairs because every chair I look at
is covered in grease and crumbs of food.
It is 10, 30 in the morning.
Nothing's even open here.
How was the fuck? This was covered in sugar, the table itself.
There's a cart next to us with no kid in it.
It's like something you push a kid around.
Where's the kid that goes in that?
Why is that here?
Why has that not been put up?
Who fucking cleans this place?
This place is filthy.
How was this back?
Who comes here?
What is this place for?
Gus' idea of dirty is there were three sugar granules
I went because like it's filthy the malls that there are you seats are all ripped up over there
Where's the tablecloths? This is this is a nightmare. Why your feet? This is terrible. It's great
Triple Demi I wonder why the malls nothing gets clean. It's back. It's filthy. You're so loud
Now he's I'm loud. Yeah, you know what?
The ball's back.
He can do it.
The ball's fine, dude.
The ball is A, okay.
I look at the dicks on the car as a bonus.
There are so many things.
When you walk in, you get to add a dick to the car.
That's like, I would pace that.
So what are we talking about, Er?
So we're at the mall.
Came down to Martin Creek Square.
I like how I'm embarrassing Jeff.
He's telling me I'm loud.
Yeah, yeah.
Gus just held on to all.
He's been fine for the last 20 minutes.
Why can't I have a good time?
I've been holding on to the floor.
He was trying to get mad in the car.
He, uh, he, he, he unkinked to the garden hose of anger.
It's on full blast.
Good.
A morning Gus.
I can't remember the last time I was in the mall.
I'm trying to think of the last time I set footing here.
It's probably been years.
But oddly enough, I still remember where stuff is.
We were pulling in.
You were asking me, which way did I turn?
Which way did I turn?
I was like, oh yeah, it's to the left.
I remember this.
You nailed it, though
We're Barton Creek We are at mall we are at the food court. Yeah, and Barton Creek mall
We came to get a cup of Starbucks coffee
Because we had to get Starbucks here. They had it shockingly. It was full of it was full of boxes and no food
No food and a bunch of
Girls that were working there that were very confused
about what coffee they were about to make.
There was a big discussion going on.
And I can't tell you, I asked for the pikes place and they said, that's what this is
and I'm tasting it and no, it's not.
Certainly it's the dark roast.
So we wanted to come to the mall because this is our third season and the mall is back.
Moles back. Jeff has been on a mall is back kick. Yeah. We are in the food court next
to a marble slab creamery, a Chick-fil-A, a Charlie's Philly cheese sticks, Panda Express,
Halisco's Takarria says Ruby Thai. Ruby Thai kitchen. Sar, Sarcatchapan.
Sarcatchapan. Japan. I think that's four brothers, Venezuela, maybe four brothers, Venezuela.
Yeah, and then Via, Italian kitchen.
I think that's, I think Jeff said that's a sabarrows in disguise.
It definitely looks like it.
Yeah, that used to be a sabarrows and the Charlie's Philly steaks used to be a great American
cheese steak.
What was that?
This was like screaming.
I love the great American cheese steak, a scape or whatever.
It was some like, but it was like, now I thought that one went in the late 90s steak, escape or whatever. It's not like that. But it was like that.
I thought that went away in the late 90s.
Maybe early 2000s.
It's easily been 20 years since it was that.
What restaurants have been here?
We're here last time here.
Chick-fil-A was here.
Chick-fil-A.
Panda Express was probably here.
I think so.
I think there was a sabarro's over there.
Yeah, that was definitely, that's always a sabarro spot.
I think that Sarkoo Japan has been here.
That looks familiar. Other than that, I think that was definitely that's always the Sabar spot. I think that's Sarkoo Japan has been here. That looks familiar.
Other than that, I think that was everything else is new, right?
Yeah, a lot of the other stores are the same,
like the hot topics still over there.
Finished lines there.
The sketchers were I, I had a experience of that sketchers.
When Millie was in preschool, she came home and she said,
she said, Daddy, why don't I have sketchers?
And I go, what do you mean? And she goes,
well, all the kids at school have sketchers
and they were making fun of me for not having sketchers.
What the fuck?
And can I have sketchers?
And I went, well, you know what, you need new shoes.
The kid grew fast.
She needed new shoes every three weeks anyway.
And I was like, you know what, I'll go buy you some shoes.
And she was like, okay, and I went to the small
and the sketch sketches are expensive.
They were like 50 bucks or something for, which is not like expensive in the grand scheme
of things, but for a five year old or four year old, it's pretty crazy.
Who's trading shoes every three weeks?
Yeah, I've shown you shoes constantly.
And so I went, I'll get her some knockoffs.
And so I bought her some sketcher-
Some caches?
I bought her-
How about her-
I bought her scooters, actually.
For all your scooch and needs. And she was like so fucking excited and I felt like a good dad
And then she came home the next day crying and she was like
What did you get me? And I'm like I got you new shoes
She was like the kids at school said they're not real sketchers that they're fake sketchers
And then I'm not real cool like them. She was just crying and I was like god damn it
I felt so bad and I was like this is an damn it. I felt so bad. And I was like, this is an important moment
to like, teacher about like,
not bullying and brand awareness.
Like, you know what I mean?
Like, there's so many lessons to unpack here in this moment.
And I went like, fuck it, we'll go buy you sketchers.
And I just bought a repair of sketchers.
And I went like, you're four, we're not gonna,
we're not gonna figure all this out today.
I just want this teachable moment brought you by scoochers
Yeah, I just felt I just felt so I was like it broke my heart to see her
Kids are terrible you gave in to preschool bullying. I did I did I was just like you know what we'll just buy it
Yeah, I'm sorry daddy got you the one shoes. I'll give you the right shoes and I bought her sketches
I probably taught her a terrible lesson. Yes, but she's a sweet you wanted to wanted to teach A-Lesson. It was just a terrible.
It was not the one you intended, and it was an awful one.
I thought that.
I bought my Xbox here.
I don't remember.
You came with me.
When I picked it up, the original Xbox
when it launched, I don't know if you remember.
It was really hard to find when they first came out.
And pre-ordering was a nightmare.
The only place I could find where you could pre-order
an Xbox was the GameStop. The try-dunder the where you could preorder an Xbox was it was a
GameStop. Let's try it under the escalator. It's where I can right by it. And you had to preorder a bundle. I got
Halo What was it? Lunch titles? I get to buy like I had to buy an Xbox and three games. I remember I was really mad
Was Amt
Fusion frenzy fusion frenzy. I think I got Fusion Frenzy. Maybe Odyssey, Gabe's Odyssey.
Yeah, there was like Oddworld or something. Yeah.
I had to buy an Xbox, three games, and I think two or three controllers.
Perfect dark. Zero. Might have been a launch title.
I don't remember. No, Perk Dark Zero was on the 360. You're right.
But I lived right across from here. I lived at those apartments right on the other side of
MoPak from here. So like this was really convenient.
And I remember we came here, it was like,
God, it was like in October 2001 or so,
somewhere around there.
Do you say so?
I took off from work and I think you were off that day
already, because I wasn't working
at the call center anymore.
We came and I think we picked up the Xbox here
and went across MoPAC to my apartment over there,
like hooked it up and started playing.
I don't know if you remember this,
but we got, for some reason,
I don't know why they did this back then,
but you could get the games a week before the console came out
and we had all the games and I had a PS2
and we took them and we put them all in my PS2
to see what would happen.
And it plays like the Xbox startup screen.
Oh really? Yeah, it looks like it's gonna work for a. And it plays like the Xbox startup screen. Oh, really?
Yeah, it's like it looks like it's gonna work for a second.
And then it's just like just readable.
Yeah, that's really weird.
I feel like Madden would have been one or maybe NC or like 2K football would have been one.
I can't remember.
I think 2K was like a dreamcast exclusive at that time.
I don't remember.
I don't fucking remember.
It's been 20 years.
One years.
Since we did that.
21 years since we bought the tool that gave us a career.
Yeah.
Wild.
It's crazy.
Yeah, that's why I guess that's one of the reasons we did that was like we all already owned
Xboxes and dayloaks.
It was like the game to have at the time and extra controllers.
Yeah.
When you guys were doing all the RVB stuff and everything how many Xboxes were you working off of?
For yeah, it's only four so it was a red red box blue box
The director and then the other other box for whatever miscellaneous characters. What would director box be?
That's the one you filmed from yeah, that's a pure camera camera angle. Oh, that's Bernie. Oh, yeah
That's where that's where we learned
to take advantage of leaning the like looking all the way down and it create there was a bug when you look all the way down with a gun. Like look at your feet. The head pops back up, which allowed us
to play in that space moving up and down. Like mostly like all of season, well all of RVB is,
is somebody holding a controller staring at their feet.
You're moving up and down subtly.
What the fuck?
Yeah, that's how it works.
There's a bug so like here, that's the talk while I,
yeah so you like, you normally you're looking around,
you're pointing, you're going at people.
But then if you like, if your character looks down at their feet,
oh like you look up, then you look down at your feet,
but the last second the head comes back up.
I don't know why, and then that's what you're doing
the whole time as your machine or mating,
each character.
So you couldn't actually see, you couldn't see
eye lines or anything.
We would often shoot holes on the ground.
And it was like, this is your mark.
This is what you need to turn and look.
It's like, turn until your gun lights up
with this bullet hole and that's where you need to be facing.
So you just got really, really good at staring
at your character through Bernie's scream
and trying to figure out how to move left and right
and up and down in a mirrored environment.
What the fuck?
It takes some getting used to it.
It was, yeah, it was not easy.
I found the list of launch titles. Oh, okay, what about your It's a Lex box. What a him there are a lot more on here
I thought they're only like seven or eight. Okay. There's a lot get ready
Four by four evo to air force delta storm Arctic thunder. I remember I took thunder sell damage dark summit
Dead or alive three. I think that's one of the ones I had dark sonnet
Fusion frenzy halo combat evolved mad dash racing mad
nan NFL 2002 you were right.
NASCAR heat 2002 NASCAR Thunder 2002.
I want to give a shout out the bad two different NASCAR.
NHL hits 2002 Oddworld Munch's Odyssey project Gotham racing
Shrek test drive off road wide open Tony Hux Pro Skater 2X and trans world surf
Damn, I don't remember most of those games. Yeah, like the first five that you read sound made up
He never he didn't enjoy sell damn. I don't remember Air Force Delta store
I'm pretty sure I've never heard of trans world surf before. Yeah, we must have we probably played it
These are the North American watch titles. It was November 15th 2001
I mean just imagine how different your careers would be if you decided to get into Shrek machine-amating instead
Well, we did really we that is one thing is when we figured this out and we started making money and Microsoft started hiring us to do stuff
We bought every Xbox game when it came out and immediately set forth to try to figure out how to make videos out of it
Yeah, and I would say 97 out of every 100 games were impossible.
Yeah, there was a there was a period in time where I don't know if you remember this like you would go to like the
electronics department or a video game store and they would have like a little kiosk where you could like
Best Buy Walmart play the games and do whatever on on the console. There was a period of time where we made all the videos
for those as well.
Yeah, like if you walked into like,
it's like an Xbox kiosk anywhere we made,
we made all of the videos that played on that
and all the marketing material associated with it.
There would be like a 15 second clip of us playing
like table tennis.
Yeah.
Whatever video game that was or a top spin maybe.
Yeah.
Or, or some of the other ones we did. We did Crimson Skies.
Because it's guys. I remember the one we did. Yeah. A bunch of Halo stuff. There was a what was that
brute force? Was that the alien one? The like the lizard people that's before. Yeah. We did that.
Uh, like all the games that were coming out, like if they needed the sizzle for it to play on the
on those kiosks, we did all of it. It would have like a 20 second joke and then you'd select it and then you could play that demo.
Right.
I was like, whatever level.
Yeah. We did that for two years, maybe?
Something like that.
First like two years, pretty quickly.
I was, I want to say it was one of the first, one of the first gigs we got.
Yeah.
It was, it was, uh, my mom would go to the Walmart and she would stand next to it and
when people will all buy she go, that's my son.
What a, what a weird, like, I'm sure people play those all the time and no one gives a second thought
It's like yeah, that's the thing that's just playing it's like no someone sat down to make all of the things
Do all of that and that was us for a couple of years. That's crazy. What a weird stupid job
We've had that that started because you came to this very mall and got an X right over there
I almost see the game stop for a while. Yeah, Was it a game stop back then? I think it was.
No, I thought it was EB.
Babbage.
No, no, no, it wouldn't have changed from EB to game.
And that was a Babbage's?
It might have been a Babbage's.
Yes.
Yeah.
It's a Babbage's.
Because we also went to the Funco land,
but that was over in Sunset Valley.
Yeah, definitely wasn't Funco land.
Funco land ruled.
Yeah, funco.
I love Funco land.
Hell yeah.
We even before Ruchert, we would go to that Funco land
in Sunset Valley all the time.
And all the employees knew us by name, just because we would always go there.
You could check the price sheet and see what they were buying and selling games for.
And it's like, we would buy a game, play the shit out of it for a week, and then return it,
and just swap it for a different game. I wonder why they're not around anymore.
anymore. So you guys came to this mall was this like the like the mall to come to. Well, there were three there were three four malls, I guess, in Austin. It was Lake Line,
which is still there. But see there. This one. And then I put Austin and Airquotes for Lake Line.
What's that? I put Austin Airquotes for Lake Line. Okay. let's see the park. It's in a park. Sure. So far. And then North Cross and
uh, Highland, Highland. We were just there.
Uh, I would North Cross is not a mall anymore. It's just like a bunch of,
it's a Walmart and a bunch of stores. Yeah, I would come to this one to this
game stop or or the one in Highland,
that was definitely a bad, but just I remember that it was upstairs right by
right by the food court. Actually, honestly, two.
I would go either here or there whenever I wanted video games
stuff or the fun co-land at Sunset Valley.
This was without a doubt the nicest, fanciest mall.
Yeah, I remember when I first moved to Austin
in January of 98 and that summer,
I was like that May or June of 98.
They were like unveiling,
they had just renovated this food court that way.
And like, they just finished the renovation project
for this food court, and that's when the pandemic
spread's opened.
And they had like a big grand opening here,
and they celebrated it by having a watch party
for this series finale of Seinfeld.
Are you serious?
Yeah.
That was how they celebrated the opening
of this food court we're in right now.
They set up a screen and they had a bunch of people show up so they can watch the the sign fell series finale.
Did you just go? No, but I remember them advertising it and just to put in a perspective like how long this
food court has been in this configuration. That was what they did. They watched they got a bunch of come and watch
sign fell together here. That is so weird, but also kind of cool.
I mean, some things end and some things begin.
Thank you for watching the last episode of Seinfeld. That's weird to me. It's I guess, you know,
how do you get people to go to the mall or to think of the mall as a destination for things other
than shopping? And I guess Seinfeld was a was the way to do it. So that actually brings me to my next point. Why are the malls back
has been a thing you keep saying?
I don't, you just came here off,
because you're like, oh, it's rainy out,
but I need to walk around.
Yeah, so I've been trying to get in wedding shape, you know,
and so I've been trying to ride my,
I couldn't, you know, well, you know,
from the other podcast, my year of trouble,
crotch troubles, with like the sanctemies and jackets.
It's not good.
My sore butt, I couldn't, you know,
yeah, that was a whole thing.
And so I haven't been able to do any kind of exercise.
And so once I started again,
and you know, I also hate exercise, I hate the gym.
So the only way I'm able to exercise
is to walk around my bike
and trick myself into thinking that I'm having fun
and not doing exercise.
It was raining the other day and I thought,
I gotta walk, I gotta get some kind of exercise.
So I was like, fuck it, I'll go to the mall, it's indoors.
And I was just blown away to find out that it was back.
And then I came back a second time to confirm
that the first time wasn't a fluke,
that it was in fact still back.
And here we are, like this time number four, five.
And it continues to be back.
It is rainy today, so this is the perfect place.
To walk perfect place.
Speaking of walking, I do just walk by holding a beer
and drinking a beer.
Yeah, there's a white bar. There's a wine bar. There's a bar. There was no wine bar.
They also have beer on top. A pair of back in our day. The dude in that hoodie over
their nose. You don't give a fuck. It's it's also 10, 45 in the morning. It's 10 a.m.
Uh, so is this how it was when you were here the other day? This is, or is it, it's kind of empty.
I thought it would be more crowded because we're only a few days away before Christmas.
Yeah, you know, six days from Christmas, I think.
I think it was way, way, way, way, way, way, way more crowded.
I think maybe, maybe most people have shopped.
Yeah. So this episode comes out for first members on Christmas day.
So this is our, our Christmas gift to the audience.
Does it really?
Yeah.
Very Christmas.
Merry Christmas, audience. What did you get? I got the audience. Does it really? Yeah. Yeah. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas audience. What did you get?
I got the audience. What's that? I was asking them. Oh, they got an episode of Anima. What did you get?
I give I give an episode of Anima to the world. What did you get? My pot malt takes sounded like you were gonna say I got the gift of support from our
wonderful audience that allows us to make this show. Oh, I thought he was gonna say something about we were nice because we came to them all.
But I think I got a jacket.
I think that's what it would be.
I'm not positive, but I think I'm gonna jacket.
You know, I don't know if you can remember this,
but every time I think of like Christmas
and giving or receiving gifts,
I think of a line from a commercial we made forever ago
that I got a book for Christmas.
Do you remember that?
No.
It was in commercial we did in Guild Wars.
In Guild God.
And it was like the lot.
I remember that because the audio for that line
had to get chopped up so much to make it work.
And it always sounded fucked up to me.
It was like, so good.
I got a book for Christmas.
Like it was like two different lines.
And we were like, no, I don't remember who said the line.
But I, I, I, no one remembers this
because it was like such, we were so, so small company.
I say it all, I got a book for Christmas. Christmas and like I make this joke for me all the time
Dude I I said it's him you probably have a ton of those I do too like for instance
I know you don't still do it any time I hear them say cross check
What do I do?
Cha cha cha that's right. I still do this day in my head. I don't do it physically anymore
But I still do my head go cha cha cha and I think there's no way Gustal does that.
Oh no, I think it, I think it, I don't physically do it.
I think it every time we do cross check on a plane.
Oh man.
You guys do that, I mean, you've been doing this for so long,
is it just in joking stuff?
Like, but like strictly for yourself.
Yeah. Sometimes you don't have it.
Yeah, a lot of that.
You just, I mean, I feel like Gustal and I, when we speak to each other, we speak in 20-year-old jokes, you know a lot of it. You just, I mean, I feel like Gus and I,
when we speak to each other, we speak in 20-year-old jokes.
It's kind of why I like f*** face.
Because we're building new universes of new in jokes
to beat to death, you know.
It's the fun about spinning up a new project.
You guys doing that in Black Box down there?
Yeah, you know, it's a joke a minute.
In that one.
That's down to killing with that. I saw the report come in, so it had a joke a minute. In that one. That was, that was killing it though.
I saw the report come in.
So it had a really good October November.
Yeah, people like that.
People, it's a fun podcast to put together
despite the dark theme.
Does it include some theme?
Yeah, I mean, I remember when we were launching these things
or whatever, and it's so out of the wheelhouse
for like what Ristartyth even does at all,
just to like take a stab at something like,
what if we did a true crime podcast,
but it's in the sky, and it's like,
oh, yeah, let's try it.
And immediately, I feel like people picked up on it.
I think so, I think it's all, you know,
it's definitely aiming for like,
a growing the audience and a different audience.
I feel like it serves a very different purpose
in a podcast like, and, you know,
and was definitely for, you know, people serves a very different purpose in a podcast like Emma. Emma's definitely for people who maybe have followed us
a lot more or are curious about old stories
about Austin.
My portal loves Emma.
Or just like, it's funny because the other podcast
that I'm in case got nominated for the,
well, you got nominated for the one we got did.
Got nominated for Word for Buddy podcast.
And I guess that applies, but this feels more like a Buddy podcast to me than that one.
Yeah.
Maybe next year.
Maybe next year, but.
I think when I was doing nominations,
this one was too new to throw in.
But good voting so far from everyone.
By the time this comes out,
you'll know if we have one single awards or not.
Pretty cool. Award winning podcasts, which is really crazy.
Again, for projects that, now I guess, I'll be,
tie it kind of back around.
Projects that are like really out of the wheelhouse
are like regular sort of stuff of like how
rooster teeth started, but sort of what it's become
is just this kind of podcast entertainment,
but like this is always what it has been at its core, I guess.
And so doing it in this medium really makes sense.
Does that track?
Yeah, it's almost, I would say this is almost like fly
on the wall, like listening to old stories
or catching up about these old things.
Before we get away from it, I want to bitch about awards.
Okay.
Uh-oh.
You, years ago, we got burned on awards very early on doing this.
Back in O3 or O4, Redversa Blue got nominated for a webby award.
Oh, okay. And it was like an open voting thing where people could go and vote.
And it was like for comedy, it was like us and the onion and two other sites I don't
remember.
Happy tree friends.
Yeah, maybe it was.
It was.
It might have been, yeah.
And, you know, we really had a big call to action.
We really wanted community and fans to all. Day excited.
We were super excited.
We had just started.
This would be huge for us.
And you could see the progress of the voting online.
And we were killing it.
I mean, like head and shoulders above all the other ones.
We really put a huge concerted effort into it.
And then for the last week, the voting went dark.
And you couldn't see the results anymore.
And then we lost.
Yeah.
And suddenly we lost. We, then suddenly we lost.
We had like a ridiculous lead.
We had like a 50 point lead.
Wow.
And we lost.
And then after that, I was like,
I'm not promoting anymore awards.
I'm not doing that.
I felt like we did a lot of work to promote the Webby Awards.
Which I mean, obviously they didn't need our help.
They already were established by that point.
But I was like, what was all that for?
They just shut it down,
made the voting secret at the end,
and then they picked the winner.
Yep.
Yeah.
Can I tell you something?
Sure.
The signal awards, they are people who split off
from the Webby Awards as the people who founded the Webby
Awards.
Uh-oh.
And the signal award is from them.
So if you win, maybe a real redemption, our real redemption arc.
There you go.
I just want a year redemption.
I'm going to go secret at the very end.
Let's help.
They don't hear this podcast before the awards.
No, the awards have already come out.
That's true.
That's true.
This podcast comes out.
So that's why I think that we have a lot of baggage that we hold on to.
Oh my God.
That people, even who work with us, like you or anyone else who who don't understand or don't know why we think the way we do or that we why
we're acting the way we act. And it's like, I forget sometimes that we have to explain
what's happened to make us think this. But now I'm not saying that we're right to think
this. No, no, no, no, it just that's what happened to us. I always joke that Ristrateath keeps
me around as like historical record, you know. Yeah. But in some ways, it's because we've had so much turnover
throughout the years and we have,
as is necessary and as happens in all business,
as people move on and you know, trying new things,
Gus and I are left to be like the bearers
of the original grudges.
You know, it's like that's our role now.
It's like nobody else is around to remember
why we don't like certain things.
And even us sometimes I have to check back with Gus and be like, why do we hate this?
Why do we still know why we hate it? Austin Java. Look at this. No clue why I hate Austin Java.
But it's buried in there somewhere. It's definitely in there.
Most of the time we can remember. But I remember the grudge enough to carry it.
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Anma.
I guess, uh, how would you feel if you did win?
These, this, would you feel like this is a redemption for you?
I don't know about that.
I would be happy to win.
I'm not trying to snub an award of any kind.
I four black box down specifically
because that's the thing that I'm involved with.
I already feel validated and accomplished by the fact
that people listen to it and like it, having an award would be nice, but I think the
real validation for me is just having more people than I expected listening to it and
really enjoying it. I've had quite a few messages from people who say that it sparked them to pursue a career
in aviation. I get messages from people who...
Is that true?
Yeah, who are pilots now or who applied for to be accident investigators or air traffic
controllers. That all started because of this podcast. I think that's really the true
validation is not only people enjoying it, but it having like a profound effect
on the trajectory of people's lives.
Wow.
You have anything like that for a face?
I'm meeting.
It's people all the time messaged me and be like,
man, I really fucked my life up by doing this show
that I knew wouldn't be worth it,
but I did it anyway, because I wanted a face myself.
So anyway, thanks.
I get out in three years.
Now, I will say if face gets to win an award,
and we get to be the award-winning face podcast,
Buddy Podcast, I mean, it's great narratively
for a lot of jokes within the podcast.
But it kind of, to me, it would be the full circle
of the joke for me.
The moment that somebody has to stand up on
a stage in front of what I assume are people and tables with tablecloths that are dressed
well and says congratulations. The best buddy podcast of 2022 was a podcast called F**k
face and they have to say that. That's the whole point of the podcast.
Absolutely. So like it could end, like the day after we went
that award, and I feel like it would be,
we would have done our job.
Mission accomplished.
Yeah, that's a great goal.
That's a really good way to think about it.
When you guys started, I mean, going back again,
and I guess we're just sort of on this topic of podcasts,
Drunk Tank is what started all of this stuff
eventually turning into Rich Geath podcasts, which is an unending
behemoth of
700 plus episodes started that podcast out of spite. She should have never changed the name and so okay
So this is what I wanted to speak to
Started the podcast out of spite and also you think it should still be called drunk tank we know
He can disagree. It's his podcast. That's fine
I think drunk tanks a great name.
And I didn't agree that it was hard to sell the advertisers.
Yeah, no. The last look at face.
The landscapes changed a lot.
I understand that.
That podcast came out in, oh wait, yeah.
So we started that podcast in 2008.
The company was five years old by then.
And people had been asked,
had been around for a few years by that point.
It wasn't like a super new medium or anything.
And some of the people in the audience
had been asking for us to do a podcast.
And we just were stretched so thin.
This was the period of time that we've talked about
before where we're making all these
Mountain Dew commercials, NCAA commercials.
Like Hill doors.
That was around that time, this was all.
And so we were just like overwhelmingly swamped with things and I
Remember there was a comment on the rooster she's sight that was like
I don't know why these guys don't make a podcast. They're really stupid
You don't have to pay Apple to list a podcast on Apple podcast
You can just make a podcast and upload it and I was like
This is idiot think that I think we have to pay Apple to make a podcast and that's why why we're not doing it. Really got him going, didn't it?
Oh, okay.
We definitely need to make a podcast.
So we started making a podcast the next week.
Oh, wow.
And now it's been 700 something episodes.
How long would you say?
About two years.
How long would you say from that next week
until the first episode came out?
Because we burned about 10.
Yeah, it was a couple of months before we finally released one.
We released one and then it was like two or three months before the second episode
Yeah, it was like another couple months for the third and then it became weekly at that point
But wait, let that be a lesson or
Hopefully a nugget of useful information to any of you out there that are looking to get an entertainment
If you make something you don't have to release it like Like we didn't release the first, I want to say nine or 10 RT podcasts.
We did as practice to make it into the rhythm.
We weren't happy with how they turned out.
And so we didn't put them out because you didn't require to.
Yeah, it's like, oh, it's recorded.
No, that was terrible.
And just like, no, delete it and make another one tomorrow.
And we just kept going until we got good practice podcasts.
That's so cool.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
Oh, that's so crazy.
And then now it's been 14 years. And we wouldn't have to do that now because we have our 10,000 hours. We're going to be good. Practice podcasts. That's so cool. Absolutely. Oh, that's so crazy.
And then now it's been 14 years.
And you're, we wouldn't have to do that now
because we have our 10,000 hours.
Right.
That's a good way to look at it.
Yeah.
I mean, you've done it enough.
That was stepping into this thing was just so easy, right?
Yeah.
That was f***ing face too.
You guys, every time there's a new episode of f***ing face,
it's Jeff going, I only got one thing to talk about.
So you guys are really going to have to carry the load. And then we don't even get to the one fucking thing he has to talk about
It's true. It's like, why do you prepare anything? What do you?
That's why I was getting angry in the backseat of the car Eric
That was getting ready to record this
You were a really getting amped, but I moved the seat up so you had room
I asked if you wanted to sit in the front, I was too accommodating
You know, it's really funny that Gus decided to drive in my car today.
I put on extra cologne just to win the Williams.
That's really funny.
I thought, today's that day.
Well, it's a good thing I was in the back seat then.
Man, that's funny.
It's a, it's a dreary day.
I'm glad you drove.
It's a, it's fucking awful out there.
Yeah, it's a duty day.
I was, I was able to get some back seat driving in.
I don't get to do that very often.
It's a great job.
Thanks. I guess I'm looking at some future topics that I know I don't get to do that very often. Great job. Thanks.
I guess I'm looking at some future topics
that I know we wanted to get to eventually,
but I don't know if these are any of the ones
that you guys want to talk about.
If you feel like if we want something more mall-centric,
but I do, the one I'm curious about the most,
and you don't have to talk about this now,
is up to you.
I just wrote down the day we took down Yahoo.
Oh.
Oh.
Is that something you want to talk about?
Yeah, sure.
Why not?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, I mean, you're, I don't know why I said,
you're the one that's better suited to that story.
You're the one who took down Yahoo.
So, well, I can't take credit for it, but Ruchete did.
So, you know, when we started selling online merch,
I built the first web store out of,
I don't remember, it was called Smart Cart or something.
Oh yeah, it was.
It was a Smart Cart, right?
And then that's, we had a lot of problems with it,
so we switched to a different one.
And then we switched to a third one.
This is over about three years.
So we have to rebuild the store
every time we find better software.
And then eventually, we just had trouble with scale
because we would have this thing that would happen
where we would release, you know,
there were two days a year that were big fucking days in Roosteryth world, one or two, and
that would just be on the year, and that would be the day of DVD came out, like a season
of RVB. There was a time, you know, you look at it now and we make all these lets plays
and STF makes a bunch of social content and they played, we played D&D and we do 4,000
podcasts and, you podcasts and fun houses
making all kinds of wacky stuff.
But there was a time when the whole company
basically made Red versus Blue.
And we tried to get around that as quickly as possible.
We started, once we realized we had kind of lightning
in a bottle and we had a real production company,
we started to try to branch out and do other things.
That's how podcasts happen, that's how achievement
will happen, but it was a process. And for a very long time,
Red vs. Blue dominated our lives. And so for the, I would say the first seven, six seasons,
when we would put out a Red vs. Blue DVD, we would get all of our traffic for the year
in that day, or a ton of it, and we would go out and we'd sell, hopefully, thousands and thousands and thousands and thousands
of a DVD in one day.
And what happened every time, and most of the reason
why we switched vendors was, we would call the,
we would call the like smart cart and be like,
listen, we're about to send a ton of traffic.
A bunch of people are gonna release a DVD,
a bunch of people are gonna, are gonna be coming
to the site to buy it,
all at once, can you turn servers on?
What can we do to make sure to run?
I'd be like, ah, to be fine.
We can't do it, we can't do it.
We can't do it, we can't do it.
We can't do it, we can't do it.
We can't do it, we can't do it.
We can't do it, we can't do it.
We can't do it, we can't do it.
We can't do it, we can't do it.
We can't do it, we can't do it.
We can't do it, we can't do it.
We can't do it, we can't do it.
We can't do it, we can't do it.
We can't do it, we can't do it.
We can't do it, we can't do it.
We can't do it, we can't do it.
We can't do it, we can't do it.
We can't do it, we can't do it. We can't do it, we can't do it. We can't do it, we can't do it. We can't do it, we can't fighting to get it back up and have an alternate solutions to buy it. And it would make like a really stressful 48 hours.
And it was a nightmare in season once got worse season two got worse on season three. So
we keep switching, switching finally, we, we settle on Yahoo. Yahoo. It's like nobody,
not Yahoo's the biggest entity in the world in the internet. That's how long it's
longer. They have the yeah, right? They have the, they have the throughput. They have the
pipes. They have the infrastructure.
They marketed themselves on being able to accommodate
this kind of traffic.
And so we switch everything over to Yahoo,
things are run smoothly.
Call up Yahoo ahead of time and say,
hey, just so you know, we're releasing the fourth season
of this DVD on this day.
It's going to be a big deal.
I don't know if you guys need to do anything on your end.
And the guys like, yeah, okay, we're Yahoo.
Thank you.
We're all sitting around the computer.
We go live.
We're like, this is the one launch that's not going to fail.
It instantly fails.
It fails.
Website goes down.
Call Yahoo support. Even it goes down. Call Yahoo support.
Not even it goes down.
You try to load it and it's just not loading.
Does that think where it spins forever?
Call Yahoo support.
Suddenly the wait time is like an hour.
Oh no.
When it's not normally anything, right?
And so we sit through the waiting line,
finally get a hold of,
realize Yahoo's down in this process.
Like it's not just us like every
every web store is down we took down their entire web service call uh finally get through to somebody
and I go yeah like uh my website's down we're we're trying to and he goes and listen we know we know
get a lot angry call today everybody's down y'all who's down some video game thing did a video and
like I don't know what it is but it's ruined everybody we're trying to get to the bottom of it and
I go I'm that guy, I'm the guy.
I called you yesterday.
You said this was gonna be okay.
And he's like, oh, I'll squit on my manager.
But yeah, we took down Yahoo.
And I think that's what caused us to move away from Yahoo.
Right.
And then we eventually outsourced it through our...
What a weird problem to have.
Our merch vendor.
Yeah.
How do you do that?
How do you take down fucking y'all?
That's a really good question.
In what year was that? 2006, 2007?
That would have been 2007, I think.
I want to say, seven, yeah.
That is at that point, a juggernaut.
Yeah.
It was juggernaut for that.
Yeah.
That's insane.
That was their whole business.
I mean, that was the place you went to.
If it was definitely wasn't,
you couldn't make a pretty store with Yahoo.
If you wanted a functional store, that's what you did.
And the entire time we were doing that kind of traffic
and we were having that kind of success,
we were trying to go under the radar
and not get noticed.
It was such a weird place to be
at that point in time where we were successful
but trying to kind of hide that success a little bit.
There's some related stories I could tell about that.
That I think we've never...
Do we have the time?
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, we got another 10.
Okay, we never really, I don't think we've been.
I don't think we've ever really publicly talked about this,
but like the scale Jeff is talking about is crazy, right?
Like trying to sell all these DVDs,
and it's very complicated because it's not just a matter
of like having a transaction where you sell a DVD,
it's like also the backend stuff.
Like now all of that sale and shipping information
needs to get passed on to your warehouse
and your vendor for fulfillment,
everything needs to be formatted specific ways.
Like there's a lot of work that goes into that.
Like if you're listening, you've never done this,
you think what's a big deal?
You just process a credit card transaction.
It's a lot easier than it used to be.
It was fucking pulling teeth and heavy rocks
for the first eight years of internet entertainment like that.
We were building, companies were building
the infrastructures that exist now.
Right, like making tons of the state so-
Now there's, you can get enough
to shelf thing like shoppifier, whatever,
just like a billion times better,
and wait easier, please sponsor Shopify.
But there were other scale issues we had as well,
like serving videos.
And you know, Jeff handled all the store stuff,
and I had back then I handled all the tech stuff,
trying to figure out how we're gonna keep a website up,
how we're gonna get people to serve videos.
You know, season one, we tried BitTorrent
to deliver stuff to people, and it just,
I don't know, it wasn't working as well as we needed we tried to like locating servers all around the country
We had like a server in California a server in Texas a server on the east coast and put files up and have people download from there
But it would still crash them all
You know I have this
Website this community site with like a load balancer on it and like all these different web servers and databases and try to figure out
How to cache it all and make it fast enough.
But the big thing that really killed us was how do you get people to download video?
Because you really couldn't stream.
There wasn't like a YouTube channel.
Yeah.
Like people have to download the video to watch it.
And we got approached by Microsoft.
And they said they had a solution for us to help power our video downloads.
And I got contacted by some people
who developed their web serving software, IIS.
And they said that the scale of the downloads
that we were doing would be beneficial to them,
because they could test new builds of IIS serving all these
files.
And if we would host the videos with them at Microsoft,
they could push builds of IIS to these file servers, and then people could download the files, and they would do it
for read, because they needed the traffic in order to test web-serving software.
So it was like, oh, this is great.
So we had a file server that they would take care of for us, and they would push all the
software to it, they would test shit on it, and we would download all of our stuff from
it. all the software to it, they would test shit on it, and we would download all of our stuff from it, and it was a lot of traffic.
Like, for the first time ever,
we finally had like a partner who was big enough
to serve all of that traffic.
And this was back in, oh, I wanna say this was oh five, maybe.
We've, I'll just say this isn't a side with us.
We figured out, 0.9.
I don't know if you remember this, you and I sat down and we did some math and we figured
it out.
I think I want to say about like 0.9 or 0.10, episode one of RVB had been seen over a billion
times.
Yeah.
What the fuck?
Yeah, it was a lot.
Wow.
So this was 0.506.
We finally had a partner with enough bandwidth to serve all the files and And they were showing me all the MRTG graphs.
You can see the downloads and all the different performance
specs.
And I could see that the upload speed was never,
it would hit a certain point and then plateau.
But there was still upload bandwidth available.
And I'd be like, why is that?
Why is it not filling the pipe?
Why does it only get up to like two gigabits a second?
Or whatever it was, I don't remember.
I pulled that number out of my ass.
They were like, oh, we don't have disks fast enough
to serve the files to the internet.
Like, at the time, we were bottled net by disk speed.
Like the internet was fast enough.
We couldn't be serving faster,
but disks weren't fast enough to read the data
and get it out to the internet at that time.
So they had to like it was really beneficial to them at the time.
Like they really like figured out a lot.
Chathach was hard to come by back then. Yeah.
I remember once I went up there and I met the guy who was helping us out and I got to see our server.
Like I went to like the co-location facility and he's like like from behind.
They I couldn't actually go into it from from trying like a plexiglass window.
He's like, that's where all your stuff is, right there.
I was like, oh, that's cool.
I think I took a photo of it.
There's like a little baby.
Yeah, that's really awesome.
But it's just wild that, you know,
Yahoo couldn't handle the store traffic.
The world didn't have disks fast enough
to serve stuff to the internet.
Just how different the world is.
Now now we just like upload your shit to YouTube
or whatever, need to do.
You don't give a fuck.
It's, you wouldn't even think about any of that stuff
at this point.
Makes me feel old as hell.
Yeah.
Remember how many versions of the video we'd have to make?
Back then too.
What a nightmare.
What do you mean versions of the video?
We had to make a,
so there was like, for a right up the bat.
Quick time.
Oh, was it a compatibility thing?
So everyone could watch it. Quick time, Windows Media and DIVX. DIVX, yeah. Oh, time. Yeah, always in a compatibility Thanks to everyone could watch it quick time windows media and dives dives. Yeah. Oh fuck dude
I have it for we had to have a version for real player and then we also did a 480 version and a 240 version
So for every different format you exported two different ones
That's great. We should go sit down and watch some 240 bread versus blue on a dives player. It's how it looks the best
It wasn't designed to be looked at any larger than that. That man, that made my eyes roll back.
And that gave me a sensory experience saying Divak's.
That was like, wow, holy shit.
Back in the day.
So that was what you would do for every episode.
You would just be like, here's exports for three,
maybe four different things.
Here's six episodes.
We're done with exports. We're done, yeah.
Time to export everything.
And shit didn't export fast back then.
No.
Oh, here's for slow.
Yep.
Yep.
Wow.
And then although the Windows Media Export
was always a pain in the butt.
It was a huge pain.
I will say that those exports, that's what aged Bernie.
Oh, really?
Yeah, I really do that.
It's sitting and watching and monitoring that
and like that was a, that took years off that man's life.
Yeah, because you're done.
You're done with quote unquote the work.
Yeah.
And now it's like now you just got to sit
and watch a progress bar and wait, like I can't sleep
until all of these progress bars are done.
It's four in the morning.
Oh, because if they stop, oh yeah,
I hadn't even, I mean, consider especially like the seat,
like the speeds for export
And we had to get them going to work in the morning. So yeah, God damn
It's so hurt. Oh my God Wow now you're just up like to YouTube. Yeah, yeah
Now it doesn't now who cares whatever yeah, but on the site who gives a shit
There was zero sleep in the first probably 15 months of rooster teeth. Yeah
What fun good times let's get guys We got to get back to the grassroots of rooster teeth. Yeah. What fun. Good times. Let's get guys, we gotta get back
to the grassroots of rooster teeth.
Let's say I'm before in the morning.
Let's watch a progress bar.
What do you mean?
Well, time to get a bed at night.
Now, like 11?
Oh, I'm in bed at 9.30 at the latest.
I may not go to sleep till midnight,
but I am in bed by 9.30.
Crazy.
Crazy.
It's awesome.
And well, we do want to keep this little tighter. Yeah. And uh,
go with it. It's a, the lunch rush is picking up. I don't know if you can
get in the audio texture. If you guys had a problem with this episode in the
audio texture, I'm very sorry, but uh, the most back is back. It's not
our fault. It is filling up. I will say the most fucking back. It's
often. Thank you. 40 minutes. We've been here. In the 40 minutes, we've
been here. Damn. Holy shit. shit. Yeah, they were just waiting
Yep, they know what time to get here. Okay, so a Starbucks coffee. Oh, yeah, seven out of ten in insane
You're a fucking maniac. It's Starbucks. I mean it did this tastes the same anywhere you go. It's like a five
This is maybe a five or a four maybe I think it's a four
I mean if I'm gonna drink Starbucks normal,
this one's black, normal, I will not drink it black.
I'll put a little bit of cream in it or something,
but for consistency sake, I kept it.
Are we all gonna get a different drink
for the next recording?
Well, yeah, we gotta get more coffee.
That being said, Starbucks is great for the app
and the ability to customize it.
Yeah, it might be awesome.
And just awesome.
Awesome.
So like the coffee's not great,
but the service you can get from the app and be able to customize everything is
Nice going to us. I haven't been to a slow Starbucks in a while
And there's nice conversation and everything going in there and everyone was just kind of like fucking around. Oh, you have a blast
Yeah, it's time. Okay, let's get to some name guesses because we saw
So here's what we do know about the name. We haven't gotten it right yet. The name is fully in English. Correct
There is no word that starts with N.
Yes.
Is the word, do we determine if the word Austin
is in the name or not?
I don't know if we ever said that.
We have not, we have not confirmed or denied that.
Oh, that'd be a great little teaser for you
to throw out right now.
Do you want me to tell that out?
Yeah.
Austin is not in the name.
Got it.
Thank you.
See, I love that.
Thank you.
It'll really reduce a lot of the cases.
It will. People have gotten 99% close to the actual meaning.
Yes.
Yes.
After our guesses, after our revised guesses,
we know that it's likely to be something similar
to the later guesses, like episode 25 and on.
Yes.
I don't know what episode that is.
I'll say yes, but you seem very confident about that.
So Wolf and Creek on the ANMA subreddit,
you got our slash ANMA podcast.
And he's compiled a google
list oh god oh god it sounds like work it hey he's compiled a google list oh my god everything
we've guessed and if it's confirmed what episode it's in everything that we have here and wow
his key factors key factors yes thank you wolf and creek uh wolf and creeks guess is Austin
memory association well we just said Austin but in it but I had to guess it because wolf thank you Wolf and Creek. Wolf and Creek's guess is Austin Memory Association.
Well, we just said Austin's got in it. But I had to guess it because Wolf and Creek was the one.
Okay, here's some other guesses.
Stefan says, ah, no more assholes. And I'll be that. That's a good guess, but there's no end.
All right, right, right. That is a good guess though. And Misa Migos from Mike.
We've got Spanish. Exactly.
See, this is where, but we have to show.
You can narrow down long guesses in order to get
the right guesses.
Yeah.
You can't make an omelette without breaking a few eggs.
Exactly.
There's a lot of people, people are mostly guessing stuff
that starts with Austin.
It's not that guy.
Don't do that.
Stop guessing.
Austin's not in it.
We now know.
Let's see.
Austin American? Nope. We now know. Let's see. Austin American?
Nope, you know what's not that?
This is from...
I do like that though.
Yeah, it's very good.
That is a good one.
This is from Nadia.
She said Austin American and then any material.
Oh, I like that.
I like that.
I like those guesses a lot.
Thank you Nadia.
Good guesses.
Not there.
Really understanding the science behind it.
Rick, another matter. No.
Ah. All right, I'm trying to find anything. Okay. This is from Mr. Geedman. All my Austin,
we know it's not that Armadillo Alley. No. Okay. It's funny because Mr. Geedman sounds like a
Rick and Morty character and the previous guest was Rick. It's pretty good. And then here's the last guest that we'll make here.
A name.
I love that, but no.
That's really good.
It is not that.
So good guesses, guys.
It's not.
We know it's nothing to do with Austin to stop putting your guests in the closet.
Let me do real.
Uh-huh.
If Anima was just like a fake acronym and I was like playing the long game to see a good
guest.
A name, I would have said, oh yeah, that's it. That would have would have been so you know what that would have been it. Okay. There you go
But oh, yeah, we said no word. This starts. Yep. Yep. Sorry. Uh, so any guesses from you did somebody say any more assholes?
No, that's not it
Well, there you have it. It looks at me very expectantly. Yeah, any mullets available. No, no, there's never any mullets available
There you have it If you want to follow us
You can add animal podcast on Instagram and on Twitter. Uh, you can keep up to date with what it looks like when we record you can check out the pictures from tiny town.
Oh, yeah, you can see the abandoned. Yeah, I did take a picture of the child car. It's on the car. Yeah, and then really good stuff. So here we are at the mall wrapping this one up.
We're going to go do another mall episode. Yeah, we'll do it at some we are at the mall wrapping this one up. We're gonna go do another mall episode though.
Yeah, we'll do it at some different part of the mall though.
Yes, yeah, great.
Any wise words, any parting thoughts?
Um, go to the mall, I guess.
You heard it here first.
Gus admits it, malls back.
Describe the show to a newcomer in a more familiar way.
Do you like apples?
Example.
Together in Trempit hosts.
Characombs.
Characombs are free of ideas of nothing to do with this podcast.
Analyze various unsolved and rooster-teeths cryptic podcast.
F**k face.
Call to action.
Feel free to add something show- specific, but short. Listen to show name on Apple Spotify or wherever you get podcasts.
It's f*** face, a podcast.
Subscribe or no.
You do yes?