Another Below Deck Podcast - Bruce Phillis | Below Deck Med S9 E8

Episode Date: July 23, 2024

Dylan and Pat are back to break down burn books, not seeing people that are most definitely there, dentistry, disaster movies, drama and more from Bravo's Below Deck Med.Ad Free and Uncensored at Patr...eon.com/AnotherPodcastNetworkYoutube at https://www.youtube.com/@anotherbelowdeckpodcast_Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/badtvpodcast/Facebook Group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/anotherbelowdeckpodcastGo to MagicMind.com/BelowDeck and Use code BELOWDECK20Go to BodySmartFitness.com and mention the show in your application. Use code BADTV in the Tropical Smoothie App 

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Thank God Gale is there. Well, maybe they were there trying to retrieve that dead cat lying on the rock. What? Oh, there was a dead cat. Or maybe he was still alive or have you got it? There were no dead cats. There were only cute cats in bowls all over the place. My favorite part of the episode.
Starting point is 00:00:14 I give it 50 pots just for that. What is going on with Ian? That is nuts. No, this is Shutter Island shit. OK. Okay. Hi hello welcome to another BrandsFan Canoe episode of another Below Deck My name is Dylan. I'm settled up next to Patrick, Hickey. Permission to come aboard. Granted.
Starting point is 00:00:47 Although I don't want to be here. I want to get off this damn boat. Yeah. Hey, can I ask you something? Sure. Sup? Not much. So it's Patty's birthday today.
Starting point is 00:00:58 Oh yeah. Everybody wish Patty happy birthday. Yeah. And it's my birthday In October, right so everybody we're here to talk about below deck It is I think the anywhere from eight to Ten episode. Yeah, we're halfway through the season somewhere around there
Starting point is 00:01:22 This was not a good entry somewhere around there. This was not a good entry into this season from Below Dead. This was that Breaking Bad episode where the fly gets in the. Yeah, and they're chasing a fly around for an hour. But there was a lot of character development in that one, I think. Oh, you didn't feel like you got to know cheese
Starting point is 00:01:39 more in this episode? No, no, no. I felt like I got to know cheese a little bit. But the problem is I don't want to. Right. this episode? No, no, no. I felt like I got to know cheese a little bit, but the problem is I don't want to. Right. So I think Ian needs to see an eye doctor. Well, or I think he needs to go in deep, deep, deep. He needs to see a psychiatrist. It's the latter because, you know, we've heard of people going insane and seeing things, but I've never seen, I mean, in a real M. Night
Starting point is 00:02:06 Chameleon kind of instance, reality is being erased in front of him. And I don't know what's going on with this dude. Very, very interesting fella. But if you want to hear this ad free, go to patreon.com slash another podcast network. We'll be talking about some lovely advertisers later. Join us there. So we have to talk about our pots and you have to say how many you give and then give general thoughts. This was the worst episode of the season by far. If this recap of that, of that episode is longer than 18 minutes, I'll be shocked.
Starting point is 00:02:47 There was a lot of boat docking, a lot of leaving the dock. I don't even, the guests weren't even on this show, the charter guests. Not really. This is one of those episodes where it was probably 15 minutes of material that could have been grafted onto maybe the next couple days of filming. And then make that an episode. Well, I was going to say, OK, so let's
Starting point is 00:03:13 say you're watching a spooky movie, right? And you're like, so this burn book, let's take the burn book, for example. So what's happening this episode is we have kind of a character study in paranoia, Balkan paranoia. So who knows if, what is Ellie writing down? So what is Cheese writing down? So Cheese is writing down things about laundry. Now our only narrator surrounding this entire thing is Ellie, who is losing her mind. And cheese is making her lose her mind but also we'll get into Ellie Ellie's losing it
Starting point is 00:03:48 anyways oh we don't know what the book actually is yet and we've spent an entire episode on building suspense for a thing that does not deserve there could be a simple explanation I think it's gonna be a simple it could have been like threes company they used to set these things up. It'd be really confusing, but someone just saying one simple thing would have maybe the episode not even worth it, because there was a simple explanation for why things were happening.
Starting point is 00:04:15 Like if this was a spooky movie, you'd find this out sooner than we'd be moving on from it, right? But no, not Below Deck. How many boobs do you give it? Well, I was going to say, I think the problem here is that below deck is getting some accolades now. They're finally getting the respect they quote unquote probably feel they've always deserved.
Starting point is 00:04:31 Below deck down under just got nominated for an Emmy. Uh huh. And that doesn't always qualify or mean as an indicator that the show's quality is good. No, you know, Connors win Emmys are all the time, and no one watches that piece of shit. Yeah, no, I used to work for a drug addict and a pedophile who was a newsman. He had an Emmy. So, I mean, they hand him out like bubble gum. Like bubble gum. So guys, come on, quality, please. Come on, you can't just throw shit at us and
Starting point is 00:05:03 expect us to just take it. Yeah, yeah, exactly. OK, so for those reasons and others, zero knots. OK, I'm going to give it zero knots because I can't think of a reason why I wouldn't give it zero knots. So where do we leave off? OK, sure.
Starting point is 00:05:17 So remember, the apocalypse is happening. It was like a scene from that movie with Gerard Butler called Greenland, like the whole world is on fire, you know? So you're on a boat. So you're going to try and get the hell off that dock. So the people on the boat can live. Oh, he was on one of those called Greenland where everything was lighting up fire.
Starting point is 00:05:34 Yeah, yeah. It was like an apocalyptic movie. I love that genre of film. Anyway, that's what it was exactly. Can we plumb that a little bit? Just because there's not a lot to talk about. Oh, sure. You're a big fan of disaster movies? Not disaster movies, apocalyptic movies.
Starting point is 00:05:51 OK. Yeah, there is kind of a difference. Disaster movies are like there could be an earthquake, like volcano or something. Sure. Dante's Peak. Those are pieces of shit. What was that one with Bruce Willis and Ben Affleck?
Starting point is 00:06:04 No, yeah, that's a piece of shit. Okay. Yeah, those are disaster movies. I don't like those. What about, um... The Road. The Road is an example of a film that I like. It's so depressing and dark. Yeah. And sad. Yeah. But it gets you thinking. Right. People started eating other people to survive and I'd argue if you're at that
Starting point is 00:06:22 point, you've lost your humanity, why even live? Well, you have... Take the rest of the whiskey and then just die no no no because you know humanity is struggle right so if things were dire I mean let's say you know it all goes down and you and I are in this studio I would hope that I could be marching forward into the future with somebody who's getting ready to you know hand down on some thigh with me because you know if push comes to shove we're gonna have to hand down on some thigh. Well we got to keep our species alive to go on for another day because at the end of the day that's really why we only
Starting point is 00:06:54 that's the only reason we exist. Yeah exactly so you didn't like San Andreas. No I hated that too. Okay yeah my arch nemesis the rock started that anyway, this boat is trying to leave that damn dock. What about Deep Impact? I hate that movie. That's another sad one. Who would stand on the beach and just wait for a wave to roll over you and die? You know the worst one? The worst one?
Starting point is 00:07:16 Volcano. It is the worst one. Dude, it's so bad. It's so unbelievably bad. Tommy Lee Jones and the human missile herself Yeah, that's right Okay so the boats leaving the dock and Sandy lets us know that leaving this dock is so dangerous and the reason being is because There's only six inches of space on either side of the boat now
Starting point is 00:07:39 um, I saw the drone footage from above and I don't want to question Sandy's judgment on exactly how long an inch is but if she saw my cock she'd think it was 80 feet given the system of measurement that she's using. There were clearly 20 feet on each side of that boat. Yeah and you know and you and I have talked about it before but but the both of us I think that's why we became such fast friends and such good friends is because we both have tiny penises. So a couple things about this undocking.
Starting point is 00:08:12 It's messy, it's tight. Can I say one, very badass from Sandy, I think. This was a badass maneuver. Hold on. It was badass. Okay, okay, okay. Can I finish my list? Yes.
Starting point is 00:08:27 Two, Ian and Nathan just stink. Oh, no, no, no. Ian and Joe stink. That's right. They stink. And three, this super yacht, this $200 million super yacht that parked this way, is there a way for us to throw this man in full-blown prison for a day or two because this is absolutely Ridiculous, I mean ridiculous. It's like double parking but with 200 million dollar cars. That's ridiculous. Yeah, Len
Starting point is 00:08:55 Clearly there was a protocol that allowed them they have Dockmasters that decide how you're gonna park. I think it's completely out of line. Completely out of line. Well, talk to the people that run the dock, and I'll say this, I'm not impressed at all. What do you go to captain school for? Is it just to play Candy Crush up on that bridge and wear white Capri pants?
Starting point is 00:09:17 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And eat free food? No, they go to captain school and wear the fancy hat and all that so that you in these moments can drive that god damn boat out of there with only six inches on each side. Yeah. Bravo, Sandy.
Starting point is 00:09:33 So the Ashes are dancing on the teak of Mystique. Is that what this boat is called? Mystique. Okay. Nathan feels bad about Joe being yanked off the bow and he's doing this thing where he's trying to demonstrate to Gale that he has a soul. He has a heart, right?
Starting point is 00:09:48 So he's talking about how he feels for Joe, his buddy. And he then goes on to say that he wants to be respectful of Gale. Thing one, you said, and I quote, fuck that guy. Literally last episode. Yes. So I mean, I don't know why you're trying to convince us that you're
Starting point is 00:10:08 anything other than a C-Rat. Not only that, Nathan, old Patty here, he was a player. OK? I know what you were doing, a quite amazing humble brag you just did there, which is, hey, I feel bad for Joe, just because it's implied he's not as good as I am. And I feel bad because I needed to replace him because I'm better than him. Poor guy. It's all about it. If you read between the lines, fuck him.
Starting point is 00:10:34 Fuck that guy. Yeah. Also Dylan, I want to back up for a second cause there's not a lot to talk about here. Meanwhile, Brie Cheese has decided to start writing things down. This is where it all starts. And she claims she's writing this stuff down because she has the memory of a goldfish. Must be sad being a goldfish or awesome. Hey, I think I had a roommate in this tank with me yesterday, but he died. Or did he?
Starting point is 00:11:00 What's a roommate? Yeah. Who am I? You know, there's this incredible book called the memory police and it's it's a it's kind of a horrifying dystopia. Wherein some kind of dark veiled government takes associations away. So you see a river, but you don't know what it's called. Right. The synapse is sliced in half.
Starting point is 00:11:22 You see a river but you don't know what it's called. The synapse is sliced in half. And the book demonstrates that without our own meaning, things disappear. And for a goldfish to have to live that kind of hell. But he doesn't even know what hell is. He forgot. But there's a vague sense, a phantom known in the back of the goldfish's head.
Starting point is 00:11:51 And every three seconds, he's tortured anew. And so people want to talk about friar and brimstones and stuff like that, but that's why hell is. Hey, Del. Yeah. One other thing of note here. I'm glad that she's writing things down now, because she's a complete fuck up.
Starting point is 00:12:06 Writing down things is one of the best habits that I ever picked up because I rarely fuck up or miss something. Hey, you write down, hey, buy mom a birthday card today because I'd forget if I didn't and the next thing you know it's a week later and mom hasn't gotten her birthday card. And also, delete my porn viewing history so the wife doesn't see it. Done. Has your wife or anybody ever caught your porn viewing? Like you left some remnants of a search on there or anything like that?
Starting point is 00:12:36 No, no, no, not really. You know, I've left evidence behind, you know, and it's very funny, you know. When you marry someone and they, if she's a cool bitch, you know, like my wife is, you're ridiculed for it. And it's a very, it's a very kind of, it makes you feel very small when you leave behind evidence and your wife's like, oh, look at you. She got it turned into Bill Burr in that moment.
Starting point is 00:13:11 She's like, oh, look at you buddy. Talking away at yourself. Look at you. That is so funny you bring that up. Yeah. This was a number of years ago. I had a friend, Nicole, she was kind of good with computers and I had like a virus or something.
Starting point is 00:13:26 Oh, got it. So she shows up and she's working on my computer. I'm just like in the same room doing something or whatnot. And at some point she turns to me and she's like, fat Indian women. That's original. And then of course guilt was on my face. Wow.
Starting point is 00:13:50 F I W's. Holy shit. Now you got to be careful with that stuff. I was in a meeting one time at a startup when I was younger and the president of the company gathered us all around and put his screen on the big screen so we could all see his notes. And he went to Safari, and you could see, back in the day when you had the favorites,
Starting point is 00:14:11 he just opened something to look something up, and we could see two of the six favorites were Pornhub and Spank Max. XNXXX.com. So he got caught. He did get caught. None of us said anything about it. We just moved on to. Of course, that's what you do.com. So he got caught. He did get caught. None of us said anything about it. We just moved on to.
Starting point is 00:14:27 Of course, that's what you do. Right. Good soldiers. So a lot of nothing takes place. Bree is running around, soiling her pants, and everybody else is. Well, I don't know when we're going to fire cheese. Well, we got to fire cheese.
Starting point is 00:14:37 Sandy kindly set the precedent. You don't fire someone that stupid. Yeah. Because they took the job as the third student. Now Sandy, if you're remembering this, she called Cheese up to her quarters to report that her white pants had now been dyed brown. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:51 And then I think Kermit asked Cheese, hey, you never mix the colors, do you? And she said, no. No, no. That's a lie. Yeah. Because it's like, man, it's amazing to see cheese. It's really amazing to see cheese
Starting point is 00:15:11 because the pants are brown now. So what happened? Poor Asha has to deal with Ellie and Bree. And this is going to be a very, you know, she's starting to realize that we're getting to a tipping point, I can't handle this anymore. But she's always looking for silver lining, she's so positive.
Starting point is 00:15:33 She's like, at least Ellie and Brie are not fighting. Enter Brie into the laundry room. And you know, this always happens and we're fans of the Bonkin Biscuit, I think she's a nice gal. But the way that she speaks to Bri is absolutely nuts. It is. Now again we don't know if the inception of this hatred and let's call it what it is it's pure fucking hatred. Was this Joe thing or if she's getting fatigued and angered by Bree's
Starting point is 00:16:07 Machiavellian musings? I don't know what it is but either way it's not really justifiable behavior. I agree and we still don't understand what those notes are all about but I guess Sea Rats with Glass H houses shouldn't throw stones. And she's also the Balkan biscuit is from a place where you make Barbie dolls out of dead people's clothes. So don't mess with her. Well, not, um, not the whole article of clothing. So you'll see like a dead person and then a bit of their shirt will be frayed. And that's really all you need to make kind of like a sarong, you know? Um, but yeah yeah no tough
Starting point is 00:16:45 tough cookies worse we're so lucky man we're so lucky you know I got a macho today yeah you know yeah I mean you go to the the Ukraine right now I mean oh you're not dodging a bomb being dropped near where you're walking now I mean things are really good, actually. We have to remind ourselves of that. So the Bulk It Biscuit perceives this book of notes to be a book of ammunition. She thinks that this book is Ellie, excuse me, she's taking tabs on Ellie's mistakes. Now I'm not sure how Ellie would know this other than mistakes that she knows she made appearing in written form before her but I don't know I just think
Starting point is 00:17:35 we got an unreliable narrator. Well we'll see. Geez if you are doing this shame on you though. Shame on you. Listen you could go on vacation wherever you are with Tropical Smoothie Cafe. Oh yes. I can. I mean, it's just unbelievable. Oh, unbelievable. Yes you can, and I think they got a little deal cooking up this week. This week only, July 22nd to July 28th, Tropic Rewards members get a free Island Punch smoothie with a bowl or food purchase. That's peach, guava, passion fruit, mango, and pineapple. Order in the app with Code Bad TV, online or in Cafe. You're on Tropic Time right now, okay? You are going to feel bright, you're going to feel refreshed,
Starting point is 00:18:11 and you're gonna feel tropical, okay? If you're drinking Tropical Smoothie Cafe. Pat, how has your life been improved by Tropical Smoothie Cafe? Oh, I love when I wake up in the morning. I mean, I don't do this often, it's kinda like a splurge, but I'll get one of those peanut butter acai bowls. Oh my God, I'm a peanut butter nut.
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Starting point is 00:20:10 at checkout okay Patty yes okay I think at this point Sandy calls poor Joe up to the bridge and she lets him steer the boat for a little while it's one of those life coaching exercises she does. It's straight from the leadership trade. I mean it's big teeth, it's big Tony, and it's a lot of energy. Get them in there. And for Joe, now I don't want to be so cynical that I would hope that Joe would be deprived of this joy, but if you do take a step back and realize Joe that you're a grown man and this woman has just asked you to come up and Steer the ship for a little bit. Um You have to recognize it as a trick, okay
Starting point is 00:20:53 She has to and she's I'm really turning on Captain Sandy. Okay, we'll get to it in a little bit But she has brought you up here to give you a Reese's Pieces, essentially. Okay? Because the boat, the humor of this boat, the vibe of this boat has to be maintained and it's not just Asha and Ian who are doing that, okay? She is the king of the castle. And call me a cynic, Dylan, because I hate to be that, but this could be a little bit more about Sandy than you All right, so we get to Greek food Jono is having a tough time
Starting point is 00:21:31 So he phones BFF Penelope who tells him that leeks spinach good quality feta are going to be necessary for this kind of culinary fare Greek food Except for the thousands of layers of phyllo, is a very simple, very humble, very delicious kind of food. I just ate and soulvain it. Oh, did you? Yeah, at a Greek joint.
Starting point is 00:21:54 What'd you get? Well, they had this kind of sampler thing. Oh, God, it was so beautiful. All these different types of- Salads and stuff. Well, they had that, but no, it was, what do you call it? Kind of different hummuses and stuff. Yeah, had that but no it was um what do you call it like kind of different hummuses and stuff? Yeah yeah yeah. Delicious. Dips. Oh yes. Yeah they call it dips but I bet you felt clean after you ate it. I sure did clean me right out. Today's episode is brought to you by Greek
Starting point is 00:22:16 Food. So um we spend another four minutes on dropping anchors and heaving lines and this is when Ian has a stroke and and cannot see two people that are walking up to him to do the job that he's been asked okay so they're waiting Sandy I'll do like a reenactment of it because they're waiting for they want to throw the heaving lines to connect the boat to land yeah okay here's it Sandy hey and do you have eyes on the people trying to catch the heavy lines? Captain, we got a problem here. There's no dock.
Starting point is 00:22:50 No, you be Sandy. I just told you there's no dock. No dock? Yeah. What's going on with this guy? It's just ocean. I'm just looking in front of me and it's just ocean for miles and miles and miles and you'd be sandy to me tell you oceans I think we're right up against the document what's wrong with this guy I'm actually seeing the dog right now
Starting point is 00:23:11 actually but there's no one here it's like there's not a soul here it's like the happening happened here are you sure look again and world-class improv this is how I really like okay this is Sandy and do you see anybody down yeah, there's a there's a guy at the end of the dock Actually, there's two of them. They're looking at me and they're wearing the same uniform Hey guys guys, we don't have gelato on the boat. You can get that in town. I think yeah Are you sure they're? Hold on. Let me see They're waving their hands like they want us to throw us? Hold on, let me see.
Starting point is 00:23:45 They're waving their hands like they want us to throw them something. Yeah, I'll be the guys, I'll be the guys, I'll be the guys. It's not gelato that we're here for, babe. We don't want gelato, babe, we want to help with the lines. Hey, look, we're not like in LA, like food dispensary. I don't have any food to give you, get away.
Starting point is 00:24:02 Yeah, yeah, yeah. So absolutely losing his mind, but thank God Gail is there Well, maybe they were there trying to retrieve that dead cat lying on the rock Why there was a dead cat or maybe was still alive or there were no dead cats? There were only cute cats in bowls all over the place my favorite part of the episode I give it 50 pots just for that. What is going on with Ian is nuts no this is Shutter Island shit okay yeah I mean he are is he gonna make the is he gonna be on the show at some point Gail walks behind him with the heavy lines and she's like they're right there. I don't see them. Oh my god. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:45 It's like he's on fucking codeine. Porian. Porian. So Asia and Ellie do lunch service. Asia is wondering if she's kept the girls on too tight a leash. So she wants Ellie to have an opportunity to show her stuff. Also, she needs a break. Wrong.
Starting point is 00:25:03 You were right in your estimation that no, they're just not ready to do this and we proceed to see why. Ellie goes up and talks to Cheese about how to do lunch service. It's cordial at this point. Kind of, but I think Ellie, well I think Cheese has already done numerous lunch services so I think Cheese knows that she has to go down and get plates and stuff like that, but I could be wrong. But Ellie is rather inexperienced. She doesn't know where anything is.
Starting point is 00:25:34 She doesn't know where the horseradish is. She doesn't know where the pickle juice is. And poor Asia is trying to watch YouTube videos of, I don't know, like kangaroos shitting their pants or something like that. Something to do with poop. She's obsessed with poop well poops funny for four-year-olds because they're interested in how body functions work she is now 34 and me and Asia have something in common we both send
Starting point is 00:25:59 pictures of our shit to our loved ones you do that and she still has sex with you well no no I I don't do it to Cece. I do it to other people. Oh, OK. Like a college buddy, of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And his wife. It's white.
Starting point is 00:26:17 I think you should see a doctor. It's not like anything. But if there's something odd to it, then I send it. Because he's a lawyer. Of course, he needs a laugh. He sent zing young men to death. Kind of, not though. So Ellie heads over and begins to fail.
Starting point is 00:26:34 So Aisha wakes up hearing all this chatter. She goes up and recognizes that the table has not been set up and we're 10 minutes to. Ellie's responses back to A Asia have kind of perpetually been throughout the season really tough to hear. She, there really is no admission of any fault. It's just- Well, she says, and I quote,
Starting point is 00:26:59 if we had five more minutes, I feel like we would have had it together. I don't think that there's any reality in which that would have taken place. I mean there was literally nothing on the table. That's why I appreciated Cheez's take on it. She completely doesn't have faith in either of them. She wholeheartedly agreed with Kermit this was going to be a disaster. So Cheez has got the right frame of mind here.
Starting point is 00:27:19 So lunch is delicious, massive prawns, lamb souvlaki, med salad, pita. Jono crushes this. I love it. Yeah, it's like telling a four-year-old, good job on not shitting your pants. It's like, yeah, it's supposed to be amazing. Yeah, no, we really turned a corner here. And no longer do we have the beetroot powder
Starting point is 00:27:37 and the milk steaks. Now we have beautifully garnished massive prawns and lamb souvlaki. It was an 89-pot lunch. Yeah, it was. They didn't really give us a lot of shots of it. So Sandy talks to Leah. What'd you think of that gold leaf bullshit? Hello 19. We'll get there. We'll get to the gold leaf. So Sandy and Leah have a conversation. Sandy says I wish I looked better. That line, in the midst of this love, was so, it just,
Starting point is 00:28:09 so ingratiating. Like, Sandy is gorgeous. For all the fun I make of Sandy, she's a very impressive person. Such an impressive person. She just says stupid things that I need to mock. Yeah. She's got timeshare way in the rear view
Starting point is 00:28:26 Yeah, and also that incident on cameo. Hey Come on pills. Yeah. Yeah. So there was that one time and we all have those missteps you take 14 forward You take a couple back. I thought you were gonna say you take 14 14 per cassette and Then get on cameo. But no, you take a couple steps back and then you plow forward and that's exactly what Sandy's done. That's right. So, Joe has a dream about sucking Bree's old school retainer. Their accents are prohibitive and dreams don't have to make sense so I really have no clue what they're talking about. Me neither. So we get ready for dinner. We need to perform sparkles.
Starting point is 00:29:07 Ellie is hitting on Riz. Do we skip the little jaunt through hydro? Did we do? Hydra? Yeah. I think I might have. Couple things to glean here. Sorry about that.
Starting point is 00:29:19 They go on quite the tour. Kermit is their tour guide. Hey, how old are those buildings? They were built some time ago. Yeah. Oh, look at that statue over there. What's that about? I'm told it means something very important. You know, for 10 bucks, they could have paid for a local to probably show them around town. And I'm not kidding. Just see me.
Starting point is 00:29:44 That's okay. I won't give a shit. We're gonna be replacing these couches. We're getting those barrels chairs That's right, Pat Yeah Can I can you be the tour guide? Let me ask you some more questions. Oh, yes. I'm my Kermit. Yeah, you're sure. Hey Kermit What's up with the the color scape here? It sounds, it looks like they're all kind of this kind of like a pastel-y thing. Are you talking about the clothing? No, the architecture, all the homes have like the same kind of color palette.
Starting point is 00:30:14 Do you know what? Yeah, it's really pretty. Okay. The streets are cobblestone. I mean, they look like they're very worn. How long have they been here? Very long time. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:28 Thanks, Kermit. Do you have any, um, it looks to be a quite robust city we've got here at Hydra. Do you know how? Very busy. Um, you know, I heard that Greece was economically ravaged, but this place seems to be doing very well. Do you have any update on the economics of the region? Yeah, I heard they're doing really good now. Wow, I learned a lot.
Starting point is 00:30:51 And shame on me for asking such long-winded and perverted questions. So we move on to dinner. Sparkle night. I believe sparkle night. Yeah. But before we get there, Ellie says that she's a little, Ellie and Asia have a conversation. And this is where, you know, Ellie,
Starting point is 00:31:11 we gotta call balls and strikes, so let's talk about this. She lies. She lies, I mean, she, Ellie, looks at Asia, says, I am so checked out of all this drama. And then proceeds to talk only about said drama in which she accuses cheese of twisting reality, which is what she's doing in this conversation and then says she's pissed at me.
Starting point is 00:31:37 Her version of what took place in that laundry room earlier that morning is pretty untrue. Yeah. She walked in here and she told me to get the fuck out of here you know I can believe this you're not gonna believe this this girl walks in dyes the pants brown shoves me up against the wall and tells me to get out it's unbelievable. Oh My god Actually, she kind of takes the stance which is like I don't believe either of you. Yeah. Do you like to? Address the disco balls on the outside of the so filthy yucky normie I forgot these fuckers were from Myrtle Beach where my mom just moved and remind the audience My mom is posting memes about a former first lady having balls
Starting point is 00:32:24 You're talking about... It's Myrtle Beach. Myrtle Beach is a fun place, a lot of golf courses. I love you, mom. Love you, mom. So dinner is lobster and cauliflower rice. I am on vacation. I don't want a rice substitute in any way, shape or form. You want to eat the rice or you don't want rice at all? If there needs to be rice, there needs to be rice, but make it long grain, make it short
Starting point is 00:32:47 grain, make it whatever you need, have it well cooked, well seasoned and not cauliflower. Can I tell you what one of my requests would be? And we will, Dylan and I will be with our wives on a season of below deck at some point. My request will be, I want something light. I don't want any heavy dishes. That would be my request. I just, you got to have your shirt off all day. I'm going to be boozing enough. That's where I want to get. I don't want any heavy dishes. That would be my request. I just, you gotta have your shirt off all day. I'm gonna be boozing enough.
Starting point is 00:33:07 That's where I wanna get all my calories. The meals, I don't want a large steak. I don't need a fucking dead sea bug in front of me. I don't want potatoes. I don't want like these large piles of carbs. Light and airy. I would tell the chef, if we were to ever go on this show, don't try to
Starting point is 00:33:26 Reinvent the wheel here. Let's have some humble food at night. Just make it clean and make it good Okay, well, let's have some some chicken thighs and some veggies and a salad and stuff like that Because I have no confidence in Pulling it off. We're not gonna do Japanese night on below deck. Okay? I'm not going to be here for that, okay? I don't want you fresh making pasta. You don't want an onion volcano. I don't want an onion volcano. I don't want homemade ravioli.
Starting point is 00:33:54 They're going to be completely imbalanced, toothsome, not toothsome. It's just going to be a mess. So let's just keep it clean. All right, so dessert dessert I think yes is a poached pear With edible gold leaf and some kind of plasma that is spilling all over the plate. It looks like You know
Starting point is 00:34:20 Looks like the excretion of a fucking wound There's this thing that happens all the time on his plates where it looks as though there's been a large incision and there's leaking. They really had a tough time with the poached bear. Maybe they can get a nurse next to it and it has one of those little sucker things like you get at the dentist going.
Starting point is 00:34:41 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and you sit back and they like put it in his mouth sucker things like you get at the dentist going. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And you sit back, and they put it in a spot that makes you gag. You're like, oh, I'm sorry. Sorry. I mean, I can't do any dentistry.
Starting point is 00:34:55 You need to do a mold. We can't do that. I can't have that in my mouth for that long. I'll just start throwing up and crying. At this point, Dylan, the way I go through it, they're like, hey, you got a cavity that go pull it. Look at my teeth, Dylan. What do you mean?
Starting point is 00:35:15 I have on both sides of my mouth, I just said, just pull it. I don't want to spend any time here. I'm so sorry. All right. We end with, sorry, I got to clean myself up. That's okay. Yeah, go ahead. All right. So we end with, by the I gotta clean myself up. That's okay. Yeah, go ahead. All right, so we end with, by the way, we're still at the dinner table. Yeah. And this is where Kermit comes over, because she's a real charmer.
Starting point is 00:35:52 And I don't know what prompted her, but she admits to sending pictures of her own feces to her boyfriend, Scott. Remember that Kings of Leon song? When he goes, oh, she's such a charmer. You know that one where he screams? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a great song. Yes. Amazing.
Starting point is 00:36:09 Yeah, amazing. Kermit, not for dinner table talk. Okay? Oh, yeah. So anyways, we end with Asia trying to get to the bottom. You know, she reminded me a lot of Morgan Freeman and the Bone Collector. I love that movie. Was that Angela Jolie in that one?
Starting point is 00:36:26 That might have been, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Morgan Freeman was in the Bone Collector. Mm-hmm. And you know, they're really trying to get to the bottom of stuff in that movie. That's a serial killer. Yeah, and so that's what Aisha's doing.
Starting point is 00:36:37 And we end with her reading this notebook and not really knowing heads or tails of it. Now, next episode looks like it's gonna be a bit of a banga. We've got Ellie and she's sitting down with Captain Sandy. Said I'll fire both your asses. Look out. Fireworks next week. We and Bravo promise.
Starting point is 00:36:59 Jumping out to the ratings for using five stars, kind words. Join us at patreon.com slash another podcast network for ad free episodes, PMZ and soon to be the Bachelorette all behind that paywall over there. We love you guys very much. I'm Dylan saying goodbye. Pat, say goodbye.
Starting point is 00:37:13 Later, dudes. Love

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