Another Below Deck Podcast - Cheese vs. The Biscuit | Below Deck Med S9 E5

Episode Date: July 2, 2024

Pat and Dylan are back to break down cheese, biscuits, war, latex, delis, glass, stitches, love, floors, chivalry and more from Bravo's Below Deck. Ad Free and Uncensored at Patreon.com/AnotherPodcastNetworkYoutube at https://www.youtube.com/@anotherbelowdeckpodcast_Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/badtvpodcast/Facebook Group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/anotherbelowdeckpodcast

The guests arrive. Ah, Marsha. Hey, I got a name for her. Uh, does it have anything to do with Elton John? No! No, no, no. But a peer of the 80s music scene. I'm going to call her Drunk Cyndi Lauper.

Drunk Cyndi Lauper, okay. DCL. Because she looks like Cyndi Lauper and I'm pretty sure she's a drunk. Wow. She's also a cancer survivor. Oh, I'm going to let that affect what I call her? Okay. Hi, hello and welcome to another Brain Spanking new episode of another Blood Deck podcast. My name is Dylan, that's Pat.

Hey, good to be here. Permission to come aboard. Granade, what's up? Oh, not much. Can we plug the- Hey, what's up, dude? Can we plug the interview with Captain Carey yet? Do you think that comes out this week?

No, let's not plug it yet. Oh, okay. Look, Sea Rats, if nothing, are pretty consistent with their behavior, except when they have an alcohol problem, which is 90% of them, right? But I have to tell you, watching this episode, I am a super fan of the Balkan Biscuit. We interviewed her last week. It was an amazing interview. But as we've come to learn, when Bravo throws us a Sea Rat, we know they're either on their

way out or they're in some hot water. In hot water, she's in. She acted like a lunatic tonight. Yeah and I don't like to use that word. Well no, unless it applies but it certainly applies here. She was a fucking lunatic. Who the fuck was she? It was like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde or something. Two different people. And the most egregious thing that Ellie did all night? Mm-hmm. Don't make people wait 20 minutes so that you can put on latex. I mean, you know, I don't like it when anyone makes people wait because they're getting ready, but especially not a C-Rat for

paying customers. I mean, ChipChop. ChipChop. Get up there and do the thing. There are certain things though, Dylan, you'll, they're really into it, you know, and so that's clearly one of her things. So even though it doesn't make any logical sense to anybody else, it's, oh, oh, I get it. She likes to wear that thing. Yeah, so that's why. Yeah, she likes wearing that. And listen, I love weird, similar outfits. Like I actually like when she was walking I was like, oh my gosh, I think I have that at the house But I don't make people wait when I'm dressing up in those and what my friends call my silly little outfits. Okay Oh anyway, so this episode was crazy now old Patty, you know, I'll openly admit when I was wrong

I had predicted that Jonah would be John oh,. Yeah that's right. Or as Sandy calls him Jonathan. Now she's calling him Jonathan but she's been calling him Jono for like the first three episodes. Yeah I mean when's this woman gonna get canceled? I mean it's crazy. He didn't correct her. Well anyway. She's participating in a racial language. You think so? Yes when you take someone's name away from them. Oh, wow. Well, he should let her know if he took she took his name away. He has. And how could he let her know? She's in a room by herself with producers at the Garland.

It's fair enough. Anyway, I thought he was going to get shit can still around. And I have to say, and I'll talk about it later in the episode, you know, just because someone's steak wasn't cooked to their preference. That's not a fireable offense in my opinion No, but he's uh, he could be fired at any moment So yeah, I know and and the cook on the steak wasn't the problem Look the the problem was that it looked like it had been boiled in milk and there was no sear on the steak whatsoever and it looked like it was gray and

It looked like okay, gray. And it looked like, OK, so there are, and we'll get back to your thoughts in a moment. So there are delivery trucks that deliver all this meat to all these places, like grocery stores and whatnot. And if a ribeye fell off the truck and just sat on Ventura Boulevard for like two hours, that's what it would look like. Just a kind of great overcooked piece of ribeye. But how many episodes do you give

it? Oh, how many pots do I get? Yeah, you know what? It was an okay episode. But this you know, the season it's not usually it's around episode 567 that things get to start getting interesting. And the things aren't happening yet. But that's okay. We still got plenty of season to go. I'm going to rate it 30 Nuts. OK. Lot of crazy stuff.

And as you mentioned, we should know this. And we do know it. But every time Bravo gives us a Sea Rat, what will pass will be inevitable and mean. I mean, these people either, like you said, they either kill people, they get fired, they fight, they fuck. I mean you know something you know deplorable and that's what happened with Ellie tonight. I mean listen, cheese is cheese is cheese, okay? What cheese is is kind of useless but also so scrumptious

and so you know you know she's a little rat that stole thing too out from under Ellie's feet, but I mean, she didn't steal anybody. She didn't steal anybody. And for Ellie to dress cheese down and to belittle cheese and to do the things that she did to cheese, it was just completely uncalled for because cheese is so scrumptious.

She's such a scrumptious little penguin. And also the dynamic between Nathan and Joe, thing one and thing two, with their new roommate was hilarious because... Well, it's always the mark of a gentleman. When a girl is, doesn't have a place to sleep and you say, you know what, you can sleep in my room on the floor. Yeah. You know what, I'm really sorry that my libido put you out. You can have my floor if you want. It is a gentleman's move. Lots of stuff to get into four pots. Okay, can you take it away? Sure. Let's begin the episode with Brie telling thing one or thing two thing to telling Joe that

she'd like to give him a blow job. There you go. I know that's the sound of her dad jumping off a building. That's right. And that's not right. Because let me tell you something. She's a goddamn mature adult. And if she wants to blow a dude, that's her goddamn prerogative.

Hell, yeah. And he would probably say the reason he hurled himself off a four story building is she did it on TV. And listen, like I'm amazed that anybody wants to blow anybody, you know? I mean, what a loving thing to do for somebody. Dylan, I'm so glad you brought that up. Yeah. Because Joe's response to that is, hell yeah,

let's head back to the boat. Yeah, sure. Now I want to say this. There are a few things on Earth that get a man to react universally positive to something. Haktuah, you're talking about Haktuah. I'd say offering a dude a blowjob is about 100% positive. Oh yeah, oh absolutely. Let's try an experiment.

Hey honey, would you like to have dinner with the Henderson's next week? I hate the Henderson's. They are way too pious. And I don't like, they don't even curse. They look at me when I say, oh, god, they're like, please don't say his name like that. And it's so weird. They have red eyes.

Let's try it out. Oh, can I suck your dick while I f***? Yeah. What I thought you were going to do was go, do you want to have dinner with the Hendersons? Okay. Nah. Do you want to go have dinner with the Hendersons and after I'll give you a blood drop.

What would the answer be? Yeah. Yeah. Nah, I think my joke was better. No, no, no. I know. I know. But it is really crazy and I understand that it's a job, right?

It's literally called a job. And what I want to suck a dick? Not really. You know, it depends on who it is. But to think that if you could just make that small sacrifice, men will literally turn into tapioca pudding. I mean, we'll do whatever you want, but then we'll get tired and we'll want to graduate to something even more depraved, something like blood play. And, you know, that's not a fun dynamic for anybody. So, you know, just keep it rare and keep it good. What the fuck happens next?

Well, we go in those vans and they're a hive of deviancy, Dylan. Yeah. Nathan is banging our saying in the chair hermits asking the balt and biscuit inappropriate questions Yeah, and Gail who loves her boyfriend text her boyfriend who she loves about how she loves him and resents him. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, yeah well I think her and her and her boyfriend are gonna be on the rocks and by that I mean she's gonna bang Nathan because Sammy the bull was more loyal. Oh yeah and Sammy the Bull was very loyal. No no. No no no he's like listen you were my brother till the end and I'm sorry I

gotta kill you right now but I'm doing it because I'm loyal. He was loyal to la cosa nostra, the cause, the neighborhood. OK? Don't you dare speak like that ever again. We get back to the boat. Everyone's ready to coos, except for Lambeau, the Balkan Biscuit. Ellie, we can get the cars.

You know. She uses the cars quite a bit. Ellie tells us if Joe wants to have sex with her He's gonna need to take her out to dinner So clearly she's unaware that dinner is not needed with brief for that No, she is the bill. She's a big big thing of cheese Well also but to keep the analogy of cars going why buy a Lamborghini when you can drive a Mazda and it will blow you Yeah, dude would anybody ever drive a Lamborghini when you can drive a Mazda and it will blow you? Yeah.

Dude, would anybody ever drive a Lamborghini if Mazda came out with a car that blows you? I like where you're going with this, but I don't think that's Mazda. I think that's Elon's alley. OK, so while the Sea Rats are up in the body of water, and we've talked about how important this liquid is really season after season after season, in order for sea rats to turn into snakes that kind of ooze out their, you

know how snakes have sex? How do they do it? So this thing kind of... It secretes? Yeah, it's a secretion it's like this little cup that comes out of the side of the snake. The side? Yeah the side maybe the belly but I think it's the side and then another another person. I'd love that if I was a human. Yeah. Someone kicks me between the legs calls me a dick I'm like you miss motherfucker. Right right right. Dicks on my hip. Well so so okay

the way that it works for the snakes Is it so one guy rolls up another person rolls up, and then they just suction cup each other right mm-hmm And then the seed is pumped between the things and in order for that to happen with the sea rats We need a warm body of water. That's right the ball of snakes as you all snakes They need to thrash they need need to bite, and they need to fuck in that water, okay? So the kuz is very important and we get our first birth of this kind of hedonism this evening between thing two and cheese, but before we get to that

Gail remains in the bed texting her boyfriend who she loves and remains in the bed texting her boyfriend who she loves and I'm not even sure I was very confused with what's going on I mean I it's a very kind of arrested development bit to say that she's just trying to break up with her boyfriend okay while she's saying I love you to him but did they get into a fight did he do anything wrong okay so some I don't know if she's putting this out here out there but apparently he's being a dick to her I haven't seen it through the correspondence that the below deck production is now and you would think that we would see it right but apparently he's not treating her well at this point and so she's pulling away from him but

she's kind of torn mmm mmm but you know if it we're not seeing on our televisions we need to evaluate what we're seeing in real time as we watch the program. Yeah Well, if it walks like a duck and it quacks like a duck It's probably a girl who's trying to get out of a relationship so she can have sex with thing one So eventually people head down as thing one and cheeser wanted to tear into one another Gail checks out various ass sizes of the men Ian does have Nathan Beat in that department. Ian's got a very round tuchus, something that I envy.

My ass is just getting, I mean, there's just nothing to write home about with my ass, you know what I mean? I mean, do you ever grab your ass and just go, there's just nothing here? Not this week. You know, I want something strong and I want a handful. As a dude? Yeah.

What do you need that for? Well, I mean, it's the seat of all power. So Cheese and Joe eventually do the dirty work. Do they really? No, it's just a topless make out session. It's a topless make out session. Gail knows that she wants to put a relationship first, but her boyfriend is pushing her away from him. And she says that Nathan is always

there for her. Do you mean he's always there? Okay, so this is talking about so this is definitely a characteristic of a C rat. Yeah, which is they graft a lot of stuff on a new person that they're Racking up with yeah, but in reality you don't know this person. No, I mean what is Nathan King Arthur all of a sudden is he? Is he Ryan Gosling? Is your boyfriend James Marsden and is he Ryan Gosling because you don't know this guy at all I mean, he's a he's a sea rat from the north of England. I mean, he's a filthy drunk with an eagle tattooed

across his chest. He's got no ass, and you don't know who he is. So I don't know why you're falling in love so quickly. Well, any port in a storm, and also all's fair in love in sea rats. Next morning. Next morning. Ellie and Cheese have an awkward conversation.

Ellie says, did you have sex? And Ellie says, not saying anything more, which is a kind of a vicious ambiguous thing to say because now Ellie's spiraling, right? Yes. But we move on to Asia. Laughing at something very hard, but I couldn't understand what Asia said.

You know that part where she was talking about the eyebrows, the lips? I think so. I didn't get it either. She just busts herself up. And I love when Asia's laughing because Asia has just, I mean, the vibes on that one, she's just got amazing vibes. And she's just having such a good time.

She's just a kiwi, busting herself up, but I can't understand her. You know, that's why the audience loves her. You know, she's just a ball of positive, fun energy that talks like Kermit. She's like, oh my god, I got glass in my hand. It's like, you have the best vibes. Yeah. So Kermit talks to Gail about Ellie.

And she believes playing hard to get is not going to work. She recommends a more measured approach, like sitting on his face. Yeah. Or saying, I'll give you a blood drop. That's right. Now, Kurt, it's pretty smart. She should be our secretary of defense and our solve world peace or, I don't know, she's pretty bright girl. She'd be a better secretary of defense than Donald Irm's. Found. So Johnno takes a call about doubt.

And just as he's speaking about this, Sandy gets a text with a backup chef and calls him Jonathan. Let's get to the prep. Fred Shea. Mayday. Red, red, shape, mating. It's going to be Brittany Brower, former model from Tampa. That's crazy. Didn't know they came from there. Uh, Trishel will be joining as well.

Uh, Jono goes to a laundry list of dislikes. And once again, we've got this reality show captain character wanting to... They want that person to renew their vows. Yeah. We get to the nighttime time. Genuine Gale had a fight with her boyfriend. Like we mentioned, I mean I'm just not seeing this in the show. I don't see this in the texts. I'm very confused

about this, which leads me to think that she's just kind of mementoing this entire thing and trying to come up with some reason to break up with her boyfriend so that she can slam into thing one. Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm feeling too. I mean, I can can't it doesn't make any goddamn sense There's no heads and there's no tails now Ellie and Bray Sit down for a chat and this is when Ellie lets her have it apparently Brie broke girl coat and It was a snake move now. I'm just gonna say this. I like Ellie. She's a nice person super smart I love Ellie. I'd let her be my my friend but in this moment you sound like a goddamn

lunatic! There's that word! Yeah Ellie it's just too mean coming from Ellie and we know we know Ellie. Ellie's very nice, Ellie's very sweet and she's got a great perspective on life. I think that you know the only thing I can think of, the only explanation that I can possibly think of as to why Ellie would have lost her bite like this, because she's absolutely head over heels in love with him too. She wants to marry him too and have babies with him. So when she comes in and she takes away her future husband then I'd be really upset too. But no, I mean if that's not the case then it's just Ellie having a bad day. Well, it's been a bad couple days because it doesn't stop here.

If it ended here here I'd understand It's just some irritation over. Hey, I kind of mentioned that I kind of like this guy and look what you're doing But you know what an hour or two later. Hey, let it go you know, maybe I You know, I apologize. Yeah, but she doesn't do that now I hope that and we've had this happen with sea ratsats in the past you know where we we call them lunatics right after we have good experiences. Oh is this one we're gonna get some DMs tomorrow? Well we are supposed to you know I'm really looking forward to having the Balkan biscuit in

studio to talk about the Balkans. I just want to talk about the Balkans. I just want a history on the region. Why is it so beautiful and also so so sad? You know what I mean? I think we'll get that uh chance because I I think she's got a pretty good sense of humor about herself. Good. Just don't try and fuck the guy that she's into. Okay yeah no I can do that. I'm married to a woman. That's what I'm saying. Now Bre goes to Joe and she lets him know she may have lost a friend today And it might have been over him and then Joe says Did she mention anything about giving me a blowjob or anything?

like a rim job or both or whatever and and she's like No, here you be jobby cheese. I'm Joe? Yeah. Oh, OK. OK. I'll start. Hello? Oh, is this you trying to get in my room? Yeah. Oh, hey, what's up? I'm really worried. Oh, what's why?

Well, I think that I might have made a mistake and that my friendship's in jeopardy. Oh, about what? What do you think? Ellie, I think she was really into you. Oh, she was into me. She mentioned me. I think that she mentioned that when we hooked up, that it really hurt her feelings because she was really into you.

Because she was into me and wanted to... Yeah, she's really into you and she said something about, like, wanted to marry you and... Can I sleep on your floor? Absolutely. Yeah. Dude, we... It's crazy how over the years we've gotten our improv better at improv. Yeah, it's like a thomas middleditch put your controller down and come listen to this podcast. If you want to figure out how

to do fucking improv, who needs Amy Poehler and Matt Walsh when you've got us? I agree. I mean, do you know where that went? No way that came Yeah, it's crazy. All right, can we jump to next morning so bad I'm so sorry next morning Brie sleeps in Joe's room floor and the boys proceed to mock her and also care for her. That was so sweet of them. Ian is called up to the bridge and Sandy says, keep your shit tight.

Now Ellie says that she doesn't have any compassion for cheese. This is where Ellie's gotta take it easy a little bit, okay? Cuz Ellie is, she's going to turn out a favor with the fans if she's too violent towards cheese. Nobody's a big, I don't think anybody's a massive fan of cheese. You know, we don't know cheese well enough to be a fan of her. So if you're going to come after her in a rather aggressive way, people are automatically going to have some kind of thing to love cheese and not like you bad. And that's just an underdog story. You know, people love rooting for an underdog.

That's why so many people love Zelinsky that's right yeah well you know um I agree with everything you just yeah yeah yeah also yeah I'm gonna stick to my thoughts and knots where I brought up this is literally dr. Jacqueline this Mrs. Hi, this is hi. I haven't I haven't seen an arc this turn this quick ever on this show Basically from a good guy to a villain Instantaneously, she's completely unlikable. Oh My god Okay, so um Asia has glass in her thumb.

Sandy says, uh, let's just have you head out to shore. We're going to cut your thumb up and we'll get car. I was like, sorry, what did you say? You're going to cut my fucking thumb up. I can't even talk. I'm so nauseous. That's gross. One time I, I, I don't know where I was,

but I was walking around with my bare feet in the water or something. And then I'm like the next couple of weeks, I weeks, every time I put my foot down, it hurts. But you know, I didn't come from a place where you could complain about pain. And it turns out I had a rock in my foot and it was in there so long the skin had sealed over it. There was a rock in my foot. I mean more of a pebble, you know?

Anyway, Dylan, if you don't mind, let me digress. You imagine a big rock being in my foot. Yeah. Yeah, I mean more of a pebble, you know, right? Anyway, Dylan if you don't mind, let me digress you imagine a big rock being in your foot. I Don't have to I lived it. It was a pebble. It wasn't a rock. I mean a rock, you know, that'd be so weird This fuck Christ couldn't put any shoes. That's right. Yeah, my Air Jordans don't fit. Yeah Yeah, no, I mean the thought I mean, this is why people don't go to the doctor because it's like So I've talked about it before I can't breathe right and people like oh We got to go get an allergy test and you got to have your nose broken and get a DVA septum check out And I'm like, I don't want to do any of that

I'd rather just have glass in my face for the rest of my life and breathe bad I'm not gonna go get my nose broken. I don't go to the doctor because I never I don't like bad. Yeah. Yeah. It's never good news. Like everything's great. It's always like you stop eating french fries or something or worse. Yeah, I don't want to hear that. So I'll just die on my own. Blissfully unaware. Yeah, you got a life insurance policy, that's all you need. That's what I told you, I don't care. Because remember last year you were like, hey, you're breathing weird. You got all these bruises on your chest.

Turns out it was alcoholism. But I didn't know at the time. And so you're like, go see a doctor. And I was like, hey, I got a million dollar life insurance policy. When Pat is really drunk, he turns into Batman at night. And he completely blacks out and he goes And he fights crimes. I was like, what's up with all these bruises all over you? And then it turns out they put in a nest and Pat was running out fighting homeless people in some kind of ramshackle

Batman costume. Yeah. All right. Let me back up for a second. Did you how many homeless people did you kill? Never I never would kill a homeless person. No, I would never do that. No, no, no, they're on house. Ian. And they're people. That's right. Ian meets with his team, and he considers himself a Tony Robbins of Sea Rats. Yeah, you could be confused as to whether or not they are people or not,

because their hands hang sometimes in a way that is more vine than arm and their eyes are kind of as fixed to the floor but really nowhere at the same time. Well they're looking for crack. Patrick come on what happens next? Let's talk about tropical smoothie. Oh yeah. No I'm kidding we can't do that going into it at okay let's see. I do have to ask did you smoke any weed before we started? No, I didn't. Okay. And Well, I was gonna say sorry Like our patrons are like Dylan was way too high on this one. I'm like I didn't smoke any pot So that's what happens when I don't smoke pot. So I need the stuff. It's a regulatory thing, right?

Well, hold on before we move on here I guess this is really important because I didn't know this about Ian he meets with his team and he considers himself the Tony Robbins the Sea Rats and rather than shoot for super high Possibilities of the human condition he asked his team to try not to kill anyone this chart Is that what expectation does Tony Robbins

do like high condition human achievement stuff it's just like you know trying to achieve all possibilities of your worth yeah oh mm-hmm I think so yeah I really like I'm really regretful that I didn't get on like repurposing like kind of like broad platitudes and charging people thousands of dollars for that. I think you would have been awful at that. It fuck you. Sorry. I think I would have been great at it. Watch this. Tell me a problem you have. I don't think my wife loves me anymore.

Oh, provisions arrive. Ellie lets Bree know to not override her. Because remember Kermit's at the hospital at this goddamn point. And Bree pushes back and tells Kermit is her superior. And... She dresses her down in the laundry room. Well, and I can't believe a guy named Joe started this war. Mm-hmm. But this is when things start going off the rails. And normally, provision showing up is just a bunch of B-roll in the below deck.

Provisions are boring. They're boring, but not here. They make use out of it to create some drama. Yeah, hell yeah. And Ellie flips out over this. And this is where Ellie, you know, Ellie's heartbroken, so she's lashing out. But this is something where Ellie's got to put on a Tony Robbins podcast or something like that.

You got to get control of your insecurities, not let them kind of turn you into a Terminator. Or a villain. Which is what she does to poor cheese. Now, she tells pour cheese now she tells Ellie or she tells cheese to clean out rotten citrus which was something that Asia did not tell them to do Ellie just used this opportunity to give cheese a command and Cheese fires back. This is not this is not my purview right now, okay? I was

not told to cheese out rotten citrus, okay? And the war escalates. Now Ellie and Cheese both went to John-O and Sandy overhears this. Oh yes. Now, she had one how she overheard it. Well she's got a timeshare. That's right. Patrick, if you don't go at least a couple of times a year, there's really no point. But Sandy's, Sandy falls in love with cheese here because cheese is presents as sensitive, scrumptious. I mean, she's just an adorable little cheese. She's like a little baby bell. But the thing that

Sandy loves the most about this moment is that she says, I'm gonna talk to Aisha about it. As long as cheese is not kind of unwrapping her wax with Sandy, Sandy loves her. That's right. Right? She's like I love that you're gonna go to your superior. If I need to hear about it, I'll hear about it. Okay? So speaking of Aisha, she returns and is excited about her stitches. That is so kermit of her. Imagine Donald Rumsfeld getting back to the boat with a woman like that. It would have been so crappy, but listen, let's talk about Tropical Smoothie Cafe. It is an amazing place. they have over 1,400 locations they have an app you can use

the app you can use promo code bad TV to get stuff from said store okay every day is vacation if you go to tropical smoothie cafe every day now you don't need to vacation every day. You can just go a couple times a week. Yeah, yeah. I mean, why take the kids to the beach when you just go to one of their 1,400 locations and get a amazing smoothie?

Yeah. Tropical Smoothie Cafe doesn't have any sand. That's right. Okay. Yeah, and who likes that on your feet? You track it in your car, right? There's sand everywhere. How about the salt water? How about that sun burning your damn face all day while you're

sitting out there? Who wants that? No, you'll get all leathery. Yep. But this one time I, who wants to go to the beach as a little kid and have a woman trip on you and and then fall on top of you in two inches of salt water and rub your skin as a rash. That doesn't happen at one of their locations. Nope. There's no brawling. There's no fighting. There's no nothing that happens at Tropical Smoothie. Illegal fireworks!

You can't set them off. The ceiling's too low. And the ceilings are very high in Tropical Smoothie cafes., there are regulatory codes. I mean, they can't be like, you know, assisting chapel. I mean, even it could you imagine trying to light off a firework, even in a place with ceilings that high, what we're trying to say is that they have the best smoothies. There's mango, there's clava, there's mojitos galore. Okay. So go to one of the over 1,400 plus locations To one of those or use the app and use promo code bad TV. We love tropical smoothie cafe

They're proud sponsor the show my daughter's asked to go there every weekend now, so I got to do that Well, I always got good taste. Yes. She does. That's why Let's get back to the show so Yes, she does. That's why. Let's get back to the show. So the guests arrive. Oh, Marcia. I got a name for her. Does that have anything to do with Elton John? No, no, no, no. But a peer of the 80s music scene. I'm going to call her drunk. Cindy Lauper. Drunk Cindy Lauper. Okay. DCL. Because she looks like Cindy Lauper and I'm pretty sure she's a drunk. Oh wow She's also a cancer survivor. Oh I'm gonna I'm gonna let that affect what I call her Okay

Yeah, oh my bad What a fucking idiot I am thinking that that would change Anything, but yeah, I just wanted to get that out there. Let's go, yo. Sandy says, we do a model walk with the primary and Martha. And then we get to lunch. Shaun's sushi skills are pretty OK, he says. He's just going to pull from his architecture background.

Pull from the culinary world. We're not building fucking a house of cards here. We're making sushi. All right. Yeah, I don't know. Did you mention that Sandy visits him or is that how that conversation went? Because she also says hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey Solid advice. Yeah. No chicken, okay? All right. You serve chicken, I'll cut you the... Okay, so Gale and Nathan, Nathan is really, really good at his job. And here we have the seed.

Now let me tell you something about this. Yes. You ever go to a restaurant, and this is before we were married. Yeah, I've been to restaurants. In a server, it's just really good. You're watching someone hustle, jump around. Jump around. married yeah I've been to restaurants in a server it's just really good you're watching someone hustle jump around jump around something really sexy about that

okay you don't think so if they're sexy well it makes them sexy someone that's confident in their position really really yeah you never seen oh well I have a five follow-up women fuck pool guys, dude Well, no women fuck look at that net no women fuck pool guys because they are in a marriage. That's a void of any emotion but I follow a Okay, yeah, that was funny I follow a guy who owns a deli in Hoboken that Guy flies around his counter to see him as a sight to behold. The way he treats his customers, the way he treats his regulars, the way he's brought

so much joy being in his shop. And when you see him work, it's something truly amazing. To behold. Yeah. You know, if you were a female. Do I think that he's sexy? He's a big fat Italian guy with hair on his back. I mean you can see it poking out of the top rim of his shirt when he's chopping up chicken

cutlets. That's a gross sight to me. But maybe sexy to some. No, he smells like fucking peppers and chicken cutlets. I mean, it's not sexy. Ah, those are the pheromones coming out of that. Oh, really? Little pepperoni that.

Oh, wow. Yeah, yeah. Women are into it, I'm telling you. Oh, really? I didn't know that. Yeah. Oh, okay. Yep. Mm-hmm. And Gail's watching this dude run around here and work the boat, and that's the turn. Hmm. Mm you saying that like are

you are you saying that women think that we're sexy because we're so good at podcasting? I think some find us sexy. Wow that's so cool. You're saying that women see us like that guy in that deli shop that smells like pepperoni because we're so good at our job. They think it's hot Wow, that's really cool All right, let's wrap up the episode okay nonsense lunches sushi cold noodle salad tuna tartar with avocado and prawn tempura Lovely lunch from the architect 90 pots. We've got shackle gate. I don't know what happens with shackles I didn't I don't it's like what are we even talking about here? Nobody knows what's happening with the shackles. That was confusing. Normally I can track what the

fuck is happening with a fuck-up on with the deckies. Not with shackles. I couldn't. It's all underwater and we don't know what it is up top either. So you know, miss me with the bullshit. We get ready for the Greek fiesta. Everyone's togged out for the vow renewal. We got a three-time survivor of breast cancer Sandy is a cancer survivor to this actually a really lovely moment from the show. It's a beautiful ceremony Yeah, it's very quick. It was lovely though. Um, we learned drunk Cindy Lauper cancer survivor. Yeah but the sacred ceremony I Was wondering if anybody had the same problem that I did reading it off your iPhone and I thought it was a bit tacky Oh, yeah, it's tacky. Okay, off your iPhone, I thought it was a bit tacky.

Oh, yeah. It's tacky. Let's commit it to memory there, Sand, huh? So I thought that Jono was chucking oysters like an otter. I think he was just getting the crusties off of them. But we get to dinner. It's going to be caviar and oysters to start. I mean, that always pops off.

And then we get another Stardust plating from Jono. So what was the Stardust again? Remind me if you've mentioned this before. Was that salt? I don't know what the fuck it is. It might be pulverized beetroot. I don't know what the fuck it is. But listen, I think Jono's a fun, Jono's a fun guy, you know, uh, I don't think that there's anything that we can say about his character or, you know, his spine, it's accurate or otherwise, but to just throw shit on a plate like this, like some, like it's as though this man is about to climb El Capitan or something. He's throwing chalk on plates. It's like the grand finale of a Chris

Angel show every time he whips up some plate and it's like you don't need to do that. It looks like absolute poop, but it is going to be surf and turf. The steak has no sear as we mentioned. It looks like it was left out on a hot boulevard and the guest thinks that it is overcooked. The primary most importantly now dessert can save the day. It's a very cheesecake with white chocolate ganache and dinner goes well enough. You know, sandy calls him Jonathan again and we get to a fashion show sixty pot dinner by the again and we get to a fashion show sixty pot dinner by the

mm now Ellie is very late to this and Asia is pissed. She says Ellie the guests are more important than your only fans career. I don't think I've ever heard Asia genuinely say anything that nasty. Yeah, that's right to anybody. I mean she was really warner. Yeah, and it was deservedly so deservedly so yeah that goddamn playboy cost him why and why the rave hair? Sorry, what's rave here? The rave hair? What's that? Yeah, it looks weird. So, all right. So Kermit finally gets up there and she's really late.

And I was wondering, and then as I was like thinking like, what the hell's going on here? Does she realize Hugh Hefner is dead? He's not on the boat. He's dead. And I think his legacies in jeopardy, you know, I've talked about on my show PMC. He fucked a dog.

He had sex with a dog. Yeah. So I don't think she needs to really focus. Yeah, you did a whole reenactment where you pretended to be Hugh Hefner and then you pulled up a YouTube video of a German shepherd barking. You don't need to do it right now. Oh, no, I didn't do that. No, no, no. This was when Hugh Hefner was... Would you like to have some wine? Okay.

All right. Yeah. We don't do that because it's a tough thing to listen to because that's the sound of a dog that doesn't want to be raped. And that's exactly what's happening. Um, but yeah, so his legacy is tarnished for that. And even though he's not on the boat, you know who is the better who DC? No, that is that a drugs in the laugh. That's right. Yeah. And if you're going to show off for anybody, it might as well be DCL now. I do think that Asia was spot on when she said this. Marsha

Martha is like a modeling coach or a scouter. So I think Ali was trying to throw it around. That's right. She wanted a modeling contract, so we get to the nighttime nighttime cheese is sleeping once again in the boys cabin. They're very cool with this kinda kinda Ellie is so pissed. Oh yeah, the cheese is making her out to be a villain And I've been there before you know

It's it's tough for Ellie to wrap her head around who cheese is When you go into what I agree. I like when you call her cheese, too. It's funny She's spiraling right so she's going this fucking bitch, right? Is Cheese scared of me? Is she genuinely scared of me? No, probably not. She's probably a little rat-faced bitch who's trying to make this a bigger thing

that it needs to be. And yes, she is correct. You kind of waffle between all of these different. Cheese may dramatize this a little bit. Cause they were joking and laughing earlier as she was putting that ridiculous playboy costume on. So right there, when you can laugh with someone, you can put things behind you.

So clearly this was a move of Cheese to hurt Ellie's feelings. Yes, little baby bell turns it up the next day as well when, you know, this was when I kind of perked an eyebrow up and I said, maybe the Balkan biscuit isn't overreacting because she says you were belittling to me when you were training me Hey cheese You were dead on Arrival, okay, you didn't know how to push a button. So let's not spin this into Ellie was belittling you I to be fair Dylan cuz I I don't want the audience to think

In my when I was watching it it felt like Ellie was saying you're still here because I helped you along it's true It may be true, but that's thrown in someone's face and her retort to that. I think is it was belittling Perhaps all right. We'll get in the comments. Let us know five stars kind words. Oh, I said I was gonna read a review Oh nice a good one Whichever one I pick you know okay do you want to vamp a little bit oh sure uh how else can you uh oh uh go to the ten dollar tier old Patty does a PMC a couple times a month it's 99 pots Cosmo one two three four five love Dylan and paddits become my fave podcast That's a really good one. Is that new? Yeah. Yeah love this podcast

This is from bumpy. This podcast is one of my favorites every time there's a new episode I get that excited feeling knowing that my workday just got a little happier. Oh my god I love the guys takes on all the shenanigans that go on and wholeheartedly agree with their stance most of the time. Very good podcast. Keep up the good work. That is so sweet. Thank you very much for leaving those reviews bumpy. If you leave a review, we will read it. Um, oh wow. There's a, there's a two star. Oh, we don't need to read that one. The BB comment. Let's, let's keep it positive. I think oh my gosh Have you seen this one about Israel? I that's hilarious. All right, join us at patreon.com slash another podcast network We love you guys very much. I'm Dylan saying goodbye Pat say goodbye later dance Love