Another Below Deck Podcast - Lee, That Doesn't Make Any Sense | Below Deck S10 E2

Episode Date: December 1, 2022

Dylan and Pat are back to break down Leeisms a'plenty, 31 flavors, pain, freeing the vaginer, hierarchy, back pain, rotten fish, petroleum products and much more from Bravo's Below Deck. OUR NEW SHOW... BAD TV IS LIVE AND WE'RE COVERING WINTER HOUSE! - Subscribe right here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-t-v/id1193077828The full season of Below Deck Down Under recaps is ALREADY available only on our Patreon at https://Patreon.com/AnotherPodcastNetworkAlso available is our coverage of Below Deck Sailing and Love is Blind seasons 1 and 2 for both shows!Check out our merch!https://anothermerchstore.comThis show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/5727246/advertisement

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 The world is ever changing and sometimes we just need a helping hand. Hey, it's one more about the Rama. New apps here, new tech there, it's all very exciting, but it's nice to have something you can count on. Like insurance from State Farm. Tienes preguntas sobre tu seguro? Con State Farm, puedes llamar a tu agente o conectar con ellos. Aprenden más en ESE.StateFarm.com.
Starting point is 00:00:23 Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. We all know a guy who only occasionally shapes for big occasions and it's because that occasional shave really hurts. The time of year for big occasions and yet there he is, suffering with that cheap drugstore razor, let's help him out. Henson's Shaving's line of razors, built with aerospace precision, deliver a smooth shave your dad, brother and even sunken a joy. Eventually, with replacement blades just 10 cents each, you'll buy it once and they'll use it for life.
Starting point is 00:00:49 How's that for the perfect gift? Celebrate with 100 free blades on your first purchase, and no subscription headaches. Hence in shaving.com slash holiday Mom showed up one day to say she's going to work, and then she didn't come back for two years. Oh my god that's sad. Welcome aboard another brand spanking new episode of another below deck podcast. My name is Dell. I'm saddle up X2 one pat permission to come aboard permission granted. I'm feeling a lot better. I apologize the audience for all the coughing I did last week. But you know why am I apologizing? You should thank me. I showed up at my goddamn fucking job.
Starting point is 00:01:46 Yeah. And I was dying and I still showed up, man. Right, right, right. So you're welcome. And also marvel at my immune system. Sure. You're tight and kill you. Right.
Starting point is 00:01:58 Despite vaping, Alamega, Melon, ice constantly and having me cough on you for a week. And having the lung capacity of a toddler, you know, I think I could run an 11 minute mile right now if I really put my gusto into it. The fact that I'd not fall prey to those virus, those germs, those back, we gotta get into below depth, okay?
Starting point is 00:02:17 But first we have to hit some public service announcement. Patreon, love is blind, magnificent show over there. If you want to add free episodes, go to Patreon as well. We got some ads tonight. So if you don't want to listen to them, don't. If you do want to listen to them, support them. The holiday seasons are rolling around. Our ad guys going, hey, it's really rocky out there. You guys should hit these. And we help us out with the sponsor. Five stars, kind words, if you haven't already. I have some house creeping. Yeah. Bravo. I'm going to talk to an employee there, actually, a Jen PR. Um, you know,
Starting point is 00:02:57 Natalia was going to come on the show. Yeah. And we spoke on Thursday and you said, uh, I'll let you know Monday. I'm not going to say the day we're recording now, but it's three days past Monday. You have not responded back. And now Natalia is no longer responding, so I assume you got to her. Our relationship is once again dead. And so I'm making an announcement to all the C rats,
Starting point is 00:03:18 future C rats, past C rats, hitle patty up. Right. Patrick Kiki, 500 on Instagram. Yep. And you can also hit me up at Dylan Pete right on Instagram if you'd like to. You want to come on the show and talk
Starting point is 00:03:32 whatever you want to talk about without Bravo's fucking thumb on your fucking back. Come on the show. Bravo for the last time. Go fuck yourself. We're going rogue now. Now I'm gonna have everybody come on here and they're gonna talk smack about you guys.
Starting point is 00:03:50 They're gonna talk smack about production. They're gonna talk smack about how you guys manipulate them. How you guys don't let them fucking make money. Not money for you Bravo, we're going rogue Bravo. This is not good for you Bravo. So for the last time Bravo. Go fuck yourself. Go fuck yourself. Go fuck yourself.
Starting point is 00:04:05 I can't wait to see rats. Hit me. Hit Dylan. I are up. We'll have you on. Let's talk a bunch of smack about how horrible Bravo is. So I cannot wait to talk to Chef Rache. Actually, that is going to be it.
Starting point is 00:04:16 Rache, I want you. Come on. I love you. By the way, little tip of the cap. I appreciate the eating ass comment on Captain Lee. I know that was a tip and a nod to us. Right? Is that the explosion? Of course, yeah. A tip of the cap. So real quick, we got to get into the show, but you know, those reviews, we really need to help there. And I wanted to give an example of why we need
Starting point is 00:04:37 your help. Oh, someone wrote some bad about it. Yeah, so LC-828 wrote one star, check your work. T it three recent episodes because I enjoy funny commentary about Winterhouse, bad TV. It's over there. Go listen. All episodes seem to start in the middle and end early. Also, maybe I missed some type of joke about why you called Craig Greg an entire episode because of this. I really hope that this is what happened because they literally have his name on the
Starting point is 00:05:03 screen 12 times in episode on Bravo. Now, listen. to those people who haven't listened to bad TV. We do call Craig Greg because he is a horrible person and he deserves to have his name said wrong. The episode start in the middle because we have cold open. That's what those are called you fucking idiot. So leave nice views. Let's get into the show. Unbelievable. So, um, that's what we have to consider. Start a podcast. And we'll read some positive ones next week. I promise. Hold me to that. Because we see some positive reviews that make me, we, I love seeing the egg salad recipes. I love seeing the egg reds. So below deck, okay? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:47 Yeah. So below deck is one heck of a show. Lea's dying. The sea rats are getting heated up and Rachel is buying bulk batch frozen rotten fish. Okay. Hence the title of the episode you catch that. Yeah. The deadliest snatch. The deadliest snatch. Now, if I could get into my pots, I was pleased. Yeah. The show is firing on all cylinders right now. And in the right gear, you know, we don't need to be in fifth right now. It's only the second day of school. We need to ease the clutch into the sucking, the fucking, but what we have right now is the muck bubbling. We can see what will crest through that gross gross layer of C rat
Starting point is 00:06:38 Stuff and it's gonna be really really good later, but right now all we need the show to do is set that groundwork and that is exactly what it's doing. Camille and Alyssa, Ross being some type of, we'll get into it later, but I'm loving what the show is doing. The foundations of the season are pretty solid now. It will turn to rot later once we're at episode 27, but right now 100 pots. That's all I can give it 100 pots. It's all I can give it 100 pots. It's all I can give it 100 pots. All right, I'll keep my remarks brief.
Starting point is 00:07:07 Lee was on fucking fire tonight. I thought it was Lee as a... Yeah, started to get anti-Semitic tonight too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's just a little poor, you know? Yeah, yeah. All right, we're gonna break down all of the Leeisms tonight. Whether or not he crushed... episode the deadliest snatch
Starting point is 00:07:27 what a classy episode title uh... for not so lea had nerve issues last time and cameo and elisa where at each other's throats but this episode kind of kicks off with grunts oh really you think so stalking fridge uh... gate uh... not sure we needed the first two minutes of this episode to clear up the epic controversy that is
Starting point is 00:07:49 stalking a fridge gate but okay well that was the real beginning of the episode but when i heard these grunts these four am grunts i could have sworn it was the uh... just just wrecking his sciatica with a pretty sizable bow movement, but it was in fact, Tony doing fucking capoeira for four hours, I guess. Now, I appreciate this, Dylan. Okay, it's break dancing yoga. Yeah, it's a little weird, but he started doing this.
Starting point is 00:08:14 He explains this because he wanted to complete. Do you ever play Tekken? Tekken, what is that? Not Tetris. Tekken. What is that? It was a fighting game. Oh, I think the guy named Eddie was a capwara artist.
Starting point is 00:08:26 He was very good. Go ahead. Oh, okay. Well, look, a lot of people get outside, breathe some air, do a little exercise, that combats a depression. I like it. It's so much better than listening to the cure. You know the band, the cure.
Starting point is 00:08:39 That music just puts me in a mood, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The cure. Right. It makes you feel like you're on ketamine when you're listening to it. But not enough for it to be productive, not enough for it to send you into a cognitive state where you can learn a little about the fabric of reality.
Starting point is 00:08:58 Just enough to bum you out and make you feel like you're on fucking ketamine. So bummer. Okay. a fucking cat. Bomber. Okay. So next day, next day, interior seems to be doing well. Haley knocks it out of the park with a wicked table scape that includes placing plates in the correct position, five star service and breakfast will be
Starting point is 00:09:15 coffee, vomit, keto muffins and truffle oil. Rage, what the fuck is going on? She's losing her fucking mind. But back to that fucking table skate. Haley is fucking on fire with setting plates and forks on the table before the guess wake up, Frazier is overjoyed. That's quite a standard Frazier. Great job. And I saw those plates and those forks putting the right spot. I thought we can do this. We can do this. So Alyssa is my least favorite
Starting point is 00:09:44 person on the show. Really? Well, she's damaged Dylan. We're gonna find out later on. So you have to work, honey. Two years later. Two years, C-Rat histories are so sad. You know, actually, I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:10:03 I mean, they're so unbelievably sad. I'm gonna go after the producers of this show. You know what actually, I'm sorry. I mean, they're so unbelievably sad. I'm gonna go after the producers of this show. You know what you're doing, right? I mean, I've been recapping this show for four years. It just, it never, it never stops being sad when you get so sad. Like, there are the occasional culverts in that boring read and they are like country bumpkins
Starting point is 00:10:23 and they're just going on a little like one year journey to like, I don't know, clean the water off the boat. But they're gonna go back to, I don't know, go back to school or whatever, but some of these other sea rats. See after where, Connie? Two years. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:39 That really bum me out. It's kinda like listening to the cure. So, Alyssa is a fucking rat. She tells Frazier that Camille was stomping her feet when she gave her a command last night. Now, the reason why I was so revolted by this is because there's really no need to do it. Frazier doesn't even take any action against this. It's such a nothing bird. Well, he realized he needs to be more of a boss. He bitch now, but Dylan, but I completely disagree with you. This is the moment that you start planting seeds and management. Right. This is how you can eventually get someone fired. If you don't say stuff right now, you don't go to HR and start going, Hey, you
Starting point is 00:11:17 know, Lisa's, you know, she smells over there in the cubicle. I think she's eating a tuna fish sandwich or something else, you know. Right. What else would it be? I don't know. But my point is, I knew it was going to be that. And now I think I have to bleep it. And I shouldn't ask the question because it, you know, it's not a lot of work putting in the bleep. You just have to search up the bleep sound and then it's a little loud so we got to turn
Starting point is 00:11:41 it down. But I just drop it in. But, you know, I didn't need to pry any further because I knew that you were going to talk about the fetid- BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP And I gotta bleep that now, and I've just, I've lost it.
Starting point is 00:11:54 I've completely lost it. Look, sir, you asked the question. Here's my point. You got to get out in front of these things. If you're gonna get someone fired, you start on day one. I don't like Alyssa, and that's not a micro aggression, it is she's mean.
Starting point is 00:12:12 I don't like her. Camille's a piece of work too, K. Oh, of course, of course. Camille is a loof, and she keeps talking about that quarterback. That's a feather in a cap. By the way, I got cheated on one time. I got in the SEC. Okay, that's that. Yeah. By the way, I was gonna say it was a downgrade for you, cleaning shit out of a toilet, but being cheated by a quarterback who played for what?
Starting point is 00:12:40 Some college team. Oh miss. Someone wrote it down and you know even with someone telling us exactly what it is i still don't remember so we've got to get on to Rachel being stoked about the beach day she lived in a place well as sweaty cock and tyland and is ready to blow paying out of the fucking well hold on is she from uh... lived in a place in ty Thailand called sweaty cock or learned perfecting a traditional dish called sweaty cock no she I think she was from there oh no no no that a dish called sweaty cock and I've heard it goes well with a a side dish called stinky koochi okay so we've got a blink
Starting point is 00:13:25 Hey, you asked, man. That time I didn't. So they, oh, hey, Rach, blowpang away all you want. Let's try to keep it to a half hour late this time. Maybe she's the truffle oil a little bit. So they headed the beach wall. The guests hit on Tony and Haley shows the guests how to twerk lazily. Camille, once her toes hit that sand
Starting point is 00:13:47 decides that she is going to hit the water. She says, I'm not here to just serve people and do what everybody wants. Camille, yes you are. You are dear. I think she's trying to make a TV hey with her combatantness combatant, combatant, in laziness.
Starting point is 00:14:07 Yeah. You know, it's, you only got so much time on TV, you gotta become the villain and, you know, make me curious. Camille's gross, but at least she's fun. The list is just not even fun. She's mean, she looks at Camille, she can't even look because she's so revolted, that didn't make sense.
Starting point is 00:14:23 Let's move on. Well, I was gonna say one thing about this beach party set up. Yeah. The guests are supposedly hungover. Right. Yet the second they're complaining about how fucking hungover. Right. They are.
Starting point is 00:14:33 They swear off alcohol. Yet when they get to the beach, they start tossing back those Moscow meals like it's going on a style. Good for them. Yeah. Okay? Because they were drinking all night.
Starting point is 00:14:43 It's not like they have to show up in an insurance office and pretend like they're taking a dump for three hours in the bathroom. You know, pretending they have to go to the bathroom, but you hung over. Yeah, well, you know that about boosters, right? You know, they say, I'm not going to do that anymore. You know, I'll swell and never do that again. And then, you know, how long does it take? So Dr. Tanya heads over for the sound bath, the Rishi sound bath. Camille says, hello, I heard it was true that you were coming. Are you a fucking lazy robot?
Starting point is 00:15:13 What is wrong with you? They do the singing bowls and Dr. Tanya starts to gently touch the navel of the guests. And then she's out of there like it never happened. Well, I don't want that though. Don't touch my belly, Dr. Tanya. That's very, very strange. Food is served and Lee heads into the galley.
Starting point is 00:15:29 Looks like we've got a new hobbled capped in time. Yeah, but I only got two more days on the crotchet. Right, right. I'll show you the yellow fuck. So lunch is beautiful. We've got lunchpale bals, we've got spring rolls, Tomka, Pad Thai. This is the kind of light bright cuisine you want to eat in paradise.
Starting point is 00:15:47 This is the kind of cuisine that lights up your palate and it lights up your heart. Four pots. The dequees want to show, want to shower with one another. Now the sexual tension between Ross and what's the one? Ross. Ross the one. Oh God, she's cute. She's one of the other, Katie.
Starting point is 00:16:07 Katie. Katie. Even if that's not her name, she looks like one of those. So they're going to enter one another and then he will be rude to her. So, Haley says one of the more narcissistic personality disorder things I've ever heard in my life.
Starting point is 00:16:23 Her tits are so good looking that she master bates them that went under the radar a little bit and it was passed off as a kind of comedic comical thing to say It's not quite Jeffrey Dahmer, but it's really, really concerning. Well, Dylan, here's the issue. Don't be concerned. These are TV fame horrors. Have you beat off to a picture of yourself? Never.
Starting point is 00:16:52 That's odd. That's odd trying to say. But what I'm saying is, you know, Camille and Haley, and why I can't stand Haley more than Camille, but they're both the same person that filled out the application to be on this boat. Is now we've learned, because we've done dozens and dozens of interviews,
Starting point is 00:17:10 and now I realize people are just going to boat school, and they're showing up on the shelf. Haley is that person, so is Camille. So is that person. I mean, Camille was just being cheated on by some guy who played college football. How do you beat off to yourself? That is so bizarre. That is so... Patrick Bateman did.
Starting point is 00:17:28 Kind of. No, he still needed holes. Yeah, he needed a hole. He still needed blood. He killed her with a cinder block. Remember that scene that was absurd. She's running down. She almost gets away. No, he does not kill her with a c block. He kills her with a fucking chain saw Oh, right drops a chain saw down the fight upstairs and does that weird thing where he sticks his tongue out what an odd film So Rachel knows that
Starting point is 00:17:57 She has to deliver today because the guests now want something even more special because When you start off with dinner an hour and a half late, they want it ramped up to perfect. But it looks like we're not starting off well with this Playboy debaucherist party. Like I mentioned, it seems that she's ordered 40 pounds of flash frozen rotten fish and fish. And she can smell it. And she is in a panic. But we'll get to that later. Tony does not like his abs for vanity.
Starting point is 00:18:33 He likes the utility of his abs. Well, that's a true spirit, jungle spirit right there. Well, I appreciate he's being cool with being objectified, you know? Right, right. Yeah, no, he's super cool. So sexual tensions, you know. Right, right. Yeah, no, he's super cool. So sexual tensions between Ross and the other one continues. He's one of those freaks.
Starting point is 00:18:50 He says he's into group sex and he speaks about sex like a robot with autism. It's, he's like sex is rather pleasurable, is it not? Are you from fucking Mars? Why are you talking like that? I'm sorry, was that about Ross? Yeah. His face looks like he was in the madman error to me.
Starting point is 00:19:08 Like he looks like he should have an ass caught on and drive like a fancy car with no roof and fuck 20-year-olds. Right, but he's a sea rat. Yeah, well, yeah, he's a fucking sea rat. Can't wait to get to his history. Oh, yes. Oh my God. So, Rachel is making marginal improvements tonight. The food is not an hour and a half
Starting point is 00:19:28 late. Unfortunately, the menu does consist of because of the rotten fish. Of course. Truffle fries, steak and a side salad. We've gone to... This is Texas Roadhouse. Yeah. It's dressed up texas roadhouse the sorbet is played well but rage i mean you're putting petroleum product on fries and ordered forty five pounds of frozen rod and fish could a trip or you're better than this i'm gonna give them you a one-pot i mean we're texas roadhouse is the worst i've ever seen now dilland rage said she pulled it off and it sounds like you've already chimed in French fries. Yeah, yeah. She's like, fucking key-go tonight.
Starting point is 00:20:07 Unbelievable. I don't know what happened to this chef. This chef is in first gear. She is coasting right now. Why don't you ordering frozen fish, right? You know better than that. We've got Spana Culp it on, Adventure, who is literally hitting the streets
Starting point is 00:20:26 and sourcing her own ingredients. Yes. And then we've got fucking Kudertripper over here who has the talent imbued within her. It's in her fingers, it's in her heart. And she is just chucking up Texas roadhouse. I'm telling you, here is, maybe the bag of tricks has, you know,
Starting point is 00:20:41 you can only pull somebody tricks out of there. This is her third season, dude. Yeah. You know, we talked to her a couple months ago. And she said she was done. I think you are too. Yeah, I can't wait to talk to Rachel, because Bravo. We're going, Rob. We're going to Rachel and she's going to talk a bunch of shit about you.
Starting point is 00:20:56 Hey, I want to point out, Captain Lee was at this dinner. Yeah. And this was one of his more better performances, because he was actually a human being. I mean, he sat through and smiled in whatever, through I think one of the couples there said that data been married 22 years, but you know, they're only a little bit of a space because they've been divorced and they're remarried. And I was like, you know, that's some Elizabeth Taylor shit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We just smiled on. Yeah. that's the kind of Lee I want on this program
Starting point is 00:21:25 Right, I don't want angry Lee which we will get to In minutes I can't wait so let's get to the debaucher's party What happens? Okay, so the guest demand a stripper Tony is woken up. What a sweet guy says this is what I do You got to entertain guests? Absolutely, so he's got his 12 pack out and then Ben joins in and forgive me for the microaggression. I keep forgetting which guy is which, they're kind of similar guys.
Starting point is 00:21:52 You can't microaggress two whites. Oh, okay, they're white. Ben and. Tony, they're white, aren't they? Oh, oh, Ben and. Ben and Tony. Oh, I thought, okay, Ben and Tony, you know that makes it a mop. That's crazy because Tony is a, Tony's Eddie from Tekken and Ben is just, he's, he's,
Starting point is 00:22:15 he's mission impossible to Tom Cruise. Australian, not, I was attractive, not movie star, not. Let's bring it to the audience. Do you screw these two people up? Leave it in the comments. So now Alyssa realizes the lady bitch didn't do her job. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:34 But I don't like the, that's a rude descriptions of a coworker. They have a passive, aggressive dust up. It's not a passive aggressive dust up. The way that she speaks to her is fucking revolting. Once again, she's drunk on power that doesn't exist. You scrub shit, she does dishes. You do not have power.
Starting point is 00:22:54 But Dylan, hold on, hold on. Don't give me that powdery face. You don't know this girl. Don't speak to people like that. One of these people has a three inch piece of fabric on their shoulder. Yeah, it says. We all know a guy who only occasionally shaves for big occasions, and it's because that
Starting point is 00:23:11 occasional shave really hurts. The time of year for big occasions, and yet there he is, suffering with that cheap drugstore razor, let's help him out. Henson Shaving's line of razors, built with aerospace precision, deliver a smooth shave your dad, brother, and even sunken a joy. Eventually, with replacement blades just 10 cents each, you'll buy it once and they'll use it for life. How's that for the perfect gift?
Starting point is 00:23:31 Celebrate with 100 free blades on your first purchase, and no subscription headaches. Hence in shaving.com slash holiday. I'm more important than you, right. And that's Alyssa, and she's power drunk, and um, she shouldn't bessa and she's power drunk and she shouldn't be because she's a C-Rat. Now, she seems to be interested in Ben, but Ben becomes more yummy when she knows that Camille is interested in him. Now listen, they're all C-Rats. There's no commitment between these things. And by things, I mean the people. But this seems very pointed and filled with vengeance. You know, it's kind of grossing me out. It's gross.
Starting point is 00:24:10 So let's get to the next day. How can you like another person to be turned on and another person because someone else wants them? You're evil. And your mom said, hey, I'm going to work and then came back to years later. I heard people heard people. So you know what? Hey, Alyssa, if you're listening, don't fucking talk to Janet Bravo. Hit me up, we'll have you on. Let's break down all of this. Yeah, we would love to talk to you.
Starting point is 00:24:33 Fuck them. As so is often, so is often the case. We talk to these people and then things are all groovy. So fuck, Jen, fuck Bravo. We're going rogue, fuck Bravo. Let's get to a break. We have to talk about some wonderful sponsors. Today's episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.
Starting point is 00:24:52 Do you wish that life came with a freaking user manual? I mean, gosh, don't we all? But unfortunately, life doesn't come with a user manual. So when it's not working for you, it's normal to feel stuck. All right. Now, you know it's better than a big old floppy user manual that you can't even read good,
Starting point is 00:25:13 better help online therapy. Pat's done it. He's told everyone listening that it's better than men's group therapy. It's better than sitting across from some stinky therapist who you don't, who keeps making fun of you. When you're trying to be vulnerable, better help will not do that as the world laurels, the largest therapy service, better help as much.
Starting point is 00:25:34 Three million people would professionally license and vetted therapists, available 100% online, plus it's affordable. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to match with a therapist. If things aren't clicking, you can easily switch to a new therapist any time. It couldn't be simpler. No waiting rooms, no traffic, no endless searching for the right therapist. Learn more and save 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com slash a b p or you can go to betterhelp.com slash below deck.
Starting point is 00:25:59 That's better help better H L P dot com slash below deck or a bp. Hey, listen, no matter who you're shopping for, there's one sale that you cannot miss out on the season, okay? It's Ways Cyber Week sale, okay, for a limited, my Bluetooth doing something crazy. For a limited time, you'll be able to snag all your favorite products and give everyone on your list the gift of healthy hair this season, okay?
Starting point is 00:26:29 And people don't understand how vitally important that is. You'll save 20% off while you're at it. We've talked about the quality of the suds, okay? Way means the world to me and Pat. And everyone in our family, everybody's setting up with it, okay? It helps with frizz, tangles, flyaways, and breakage for all hair types, okay? And also the detox shampoo, not sure if you know this, but it's now available in jumbo size, okay?
Starting point is 00:26:52 Get the gift of the way better together, get it's a full size leaving conditioner, full size detox shampoo, perfect for giving or trying them for yourself. Slake gift, giving this season, and that's a pun, S-L-E-I-G-H. Slake gift giving this season and saved this cyber week. From now through Cyber Monday 1128, go to THO-U-A-I-.com to get up to 20% of your favorite products. That's 20% off at THO-U-A-I-.com. Love you way. off at t h e o u a i dot com love you way.
Starting point is 00:27:29 All right, we're back. So next morning, Lee isn't choppy water. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, truly see a nonsensical turn of phrase that defies any sense of logic. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. So this is the referring to Caribbean wins. He says, and I quote, it's rolling around like a goddamn pinball in a slot machine. Nope. Okay. You know, when you go to Vegas and you pull the lever on the slot machine, you can't wait for the pinball to hit that number. Yeah. Yeah. Boy, someone's really screwing with those slot machines.
Starting point is 00:28:15 This man should not be driving a boat. Okay. He conflated two machines together and then they allowed this on TV. Okay, here we go. All right. You know, I'm gonna I'm sorry. I was gonna say you're gonna say yeah, let's let's get back into the show. We're gonna break them all down There's something about pork and juice later So fucking idiot. All right, so I Think no, no, no, no, no.
Starting point is 00:28:46 We'll get to more leaves right now. We have to get to Seerat history with Alyssa. Pat, do you wanna take this one? Oh, Jesus, okay, okay. Are we bouncing around there? Hold on. Okay, alright, Fraser and Alyssa chat. And we learn a little about her.
Starting point is 00:29:00 Mom and dad divorced. Obviously, first trade of a Seerat. Lived with dad, but he's like down with the Lord, which makes her think he's kind of a hard ass. That's no fun, you know? But while he was the parent, you know, mom showed up one day to say she's going to work and then she didn't come back for two years.
Starting point is 00:29:31 Oh my god, that's sad. It's all sad and And the being a submissive child, you know, because she got a lot of shit. That's why she lashes out like Idiots like Camille, you know, so this is one of the 31 flavors of C-rad pain, right? Running away from religion. And then another one of the 31 flavors of C-Rapane is obviously the absentee parent, right? So this is a Sunday of sad. And the cherry on top is really just the detail, the visceral tangible sadness of seeing the mother close the door saying she's
Starting point is 00:30:07 going to go work a shift and then coming back 700 days later. Now look, I want to say this to the audience that's hearing this and going, wow, you guys are having a lot of fun with this. Just so you know, a little patty history. My dad took off when I was two, disappeared for about six years, and then I, he showed up at my freshman year in college, stayed in my dorm, which my roommates thought was very weird, didn't pay for anything. I didn't see him for 16 more years or hear from him, so I know the same pain. So when
Starting point is 00:30:42 I make fun, I make fun because I can relate. Yeah, and listen to this, when I was 13 years old, it was a big birthday for me. And so we had a lot of the kids come over to the house. We took a limo to the Paramount lot because we were going to have a private screening of School of Rock. One of my friends, Matt, who was an actor, threw a lime into my neighbor's house and came over and he almost called the entire thing off. So when you guys are hearing
Starting point is 00:31:12 us be mad, happy, joky about other people's pain. I'm fucking believe we'll do that. No, that we have lived it too. Hold on, Dylan, Dylan, hold on. That happened to you the entire birthday, almost got called off, because Bougar from the hot chick through a lime over my neighbor's fence. So that's sad. Yeah, it's really, really sad. Now, let's get to the...
Starting point is 00:31:41 Elise, suit. Yeah, we gotta get to the shirt. It's too small. Yeah, you got to get to the shirt. It's, uh, it's too, uh, too small. Yeah. You know, you want to hear what he says? Well, yeah, he says, uh, it's like a pork sandwich at a Jewish picnic. Now, uh, Dylan, oh, yeah, hit the, uh, this what we think about this. Lee, you're a loser.
Starting point is 00:32:02 Dylan, because I'm a goiem, and I'm not exactly sure if this one lands. Well, you are, goy, yeah, I'm sorry. All right. Does this land, you know, is this expression of pork sandwich at a Jewish picnic? Sorry, there is a retro sun hour, a sunset one hour about to play on YouTube.
Starting point is 00:32:21 Sorry, no, of course it doesn't make any fucking sense. And, it's sorry, what is it again? He says a pork sandwich at a Jewish picnic. That's how he feels, referring to his body because it's in a tight situation because I think he's wearing frasures, sure. Yeah, so we could do this.
Starting point is 00:32:41 We could break down the lunacy of it if we'd like to. Is he anthropomorphizing the pork sandwich being uncomfortable, being out of place in a place where it's not wanted? Is he talking about the slavvantly tongue of the Jew? Wanting... You think he's smart enough to go that deep down. Wanting to taste the trichanosus riddled meat that they have not been allowed to taste the trickinosis riddled meat
Starting point is 00:33:05 that they have not been allowed to consume for the better part of two millennia, I don't know what the fuck he's talking about. But with Kanye saying what he's saying, you know, the Jews really need all the help they can. Exactly, and Lee is just, it's sad honestly. It's really, really sad. Well, we have one more to go and we'll get there.
Starting point is 00:33:25 His next one is six million, more like 600,000. What the fuck, Jesus? Are you at fucking Mar-a-Lago with Kanye? Jesus Christ Jesus fucking Christ. It's not cool. So Ross wants to spread his load all over his deck team. You better start fucking, because right now you're just a sex obsessed
Starting point is 00:33:48 and you're kind of an in-sell. You look like a bit of an in-sell. Here's another thing. You're just talking about sex a lot, so. So here's another trade of old-timey guys. They get all those gross jokes. Like, hey, I just want to spread my load. I mean, I'm totally kidding.
Starting point is 00:34:05 I'm talking about my calmness. Yes, you are. You're doing a Cosby kind of, but also he's not an old-timey guy. He's a young, young man. I'm saying he's a young person in an old, soul-grossed person's persona. He's madman to it. He's at a cocktail party and this line he He thinks works with you know all the associates and Exactly
Starting point is 00:34:30 That's a beautiful necklace Is it pearl right stuff like that and then there's the good old-fashioned just the a slap you know Which which used to happen a lot more of a time? Yeah, they like it what a while which used to happen a lot. It's more of a tough. Yeah. They like it. What a wild time to live in as a woman, you're a typist just getting your ass smacked by fucking sorry to use the word,
Starting point is 00:34:56 but Slavinly Drunks who just came back from life. You imagine being a husband, it's a plumber, and your wife comes home and you're like, do anybody slap in your ass at that office. No honey. Yeah, I felt thank God We've gotten better because the you know like I said on love is blind I mean the patriarchy just needs to be slaughtered right so we've got another leoism Oh, yes, and this one is Regardless of the
Starting point is 00:35:22 Vieryland anti-Semitism in the last one, this one is worse because what it's doing is breaking something that isn't broken. Pack, go ahead. Okay. Here's the third leasem. By the way, because I think he's hobbled, I think he needs to put, that's why we got three leasems in a single episode. You know, normally they sprinkle these about through the 16 episodes.
Starting point is 00:35:45 Three in one episode. Right. You know, he's giving it, he's giving it his all, you know. This is his third leism. Referring to docking, I'm as nervous as a fucking whore in the front row of a puet at a church. Do you kiss your mother with that dirty fucking pig mouth? You pig? Oh, I'm sorry. You fucking pig. It's you fucking god damn roly-poly little fucking pig. It's 2022, sir. I'm sorry. I know you're nervous. It's selling koochi for money as sin in your
Starting point is 00:36:18 world. I think it's an exchange of goods and services, sir. You remember like when you were working at the crab shack and you'd sell fucking Fetted fucking shellfish to people. It's an exchange like that. Lee don't judge sex work. It's real work. Not what you do You just sit around play fucking fruit ninja and complain about the wind God damn hard. All right, so who uses the word who does that? I hate this guy. I wanna explain, hold on Dylan, I'm gonna just only take 30 seconds here. Here's why I hate Lee.
Starting point is 00:36:50 Lee reminds me of every douchebag assistant football coach. Every douchebag teacher, every like mid-level manager at a fucking restaurant where I was a dishwasher. The guy with the little one liners and shitting on you and always starts off with negativity and threats and I can fire you. I don't know why the audience likes this prick. Yeah, it's, if you're listening,
Starting point is 00:37:15 which I know you're not, cause you're a scared little bitch, but I know people, you're little aculites, like send you things like, and why you still ain't us. Yeah, sure, sure. You're losing. like send you things like and why you still ain't us. You're a loser.
Starting point is 00:37:23 Oh my. Grandpa, give it up. Give someone else a chance. Like God, the vitriol right here. I hate it. I gotta say, I'm getting closer and closer to you because what's really bad about this season is the network leaning into the star power of this man.
Starting point is 00:37:46 Oh, the reverence forms sucking up to him. Like I learned a lot from Lee. Well, but also the promos about Lee is on fire and all of Lee's like compilations of Lee's nonsensical isms, like everybody's leaning into this. I love the assistant coach thing because it is like he's somebody who got conscripted, but the army didn't want him, but he still has the raw, raw attitude of somebody like me. Don't listen to this guy.
Starting point is 00:38:16 Trust your instincts, he's a prick. If you work for him, he's the meanest, angriest, bitter, bastard that you've ever met in your entire life. I love that guy. And if he hooked up a TV gig 10 years ago and somehow he's eaked out an existence that he doesn't deserve. Please come on the show. Let's fucking debate this.
Starting point is 00:38:38 It might be a jerk or no. Kind of. I don't think he's a bad boss. I just think that he loves the line. Light a little bit too much and I think that we've got the it all right so we've got to get to boat anchors finally and what well there's this goddamn winds blowing like uh Tarzan you know sucking sap from a monkey's asshole and then the guests up, they, they dock fine.
Starting point is 00:39:05 And then the guest to part. Now, Alyssa is hunting for abs, but then we sit down for a hefty, hefty tip. Oh, man, I really wanted to go in on leave for this tip time because you know, the guest to part as angry Lee, he's, he mutters the words, no doubt in my mind. Because the phrasier walks over to him. He's like you know, Captain that will never happen again We'll have a shirt no doubt in my mind and then like I forget where Hayley walks over
Starting point is 00:39:35 I am so sorry that we did this to you. You know will never happen again. No doubt my mind I want my own meal cuz I like it old me or charios god damn it tip time Okay, it's tip time. We've got a hefty hefty tip. Oh, yeah, yeah, we do actually. Yeah, you want me to say it? No, okay It's 25 grand. Yeah, that's a lot of fucking money. That's a lot of 2100 each and Haley immediately says she's gonna buy a Louis Mm-hmm Louis a lot of 2100 each and Haley immediately says she's gonna buy a Louis. Louis. Yeah. I don't understand this, but you know I got a bunch of stupid arcade games and this fucking thing.
Starting point is 00:40:13 So I like dumb stuff too. Men and women are different. Men and women are different, but um, sea rats are not. They are all pained and they are all irresponsible with money. Have a nest egg, Hayley. Okay, do not shop for Louis Vuitton if you can only get it at the airport. If you need to get it at the airport, that's not an economic place that you should be comfortable buying that stuff.
Starting point is 00:40:40 I English bad, but you know what I mean? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? 100% right. So, um, sea rats need business management advice, I think. So the war is waged, Alissa is not wearing underwear tonight and could definitely go for a fuck tonight. Is it wrong that I'm turned on by this pathetic device? I find her attractive and I love that she's not wearing underwear.
Starting point is 00:41:04 I'm turned on. I'm a gross pig. No, no, no, you're not a gross pig. Listen, it's a it's a very sexual trope. You know, I'm not wearing panties. It used to be called commando, but right, right, right. Well, for guys, it's commando and for guys, it's gross. For women, it's cool because the the, um, the labia majority is being kissed by nature. Okay. It's, it's being taken care of throughout the entire evening. There's a gentle breeze and a gentle warmth, uh, curtailing it into perhaps a night of smile. That's what it desires, you know, um, it's taken on a life of its own. And you can see it all cute up there and stuff and yeah, no, I get it It's cool. It's really cool. Yeah, so We get to Lameza and we're gonna see what happens a little toast from Camille first and then the battle is
Starting point is 00:41:56 Really well, she says everyone should get slammed and I appreciate the fucking effort by the way a hundred percent Uh, and then you knowssa not wearing any underwear. I love that spirit. Yeah, no, you mentioned that. So Alyssa says that she, what? She keeps saying she doesn't have panties. It doesn't matter though,
Starting point is 00:42:15 Ben is only fixated on Camille right now and Ben and Camille are fixated on their loss. Yes, yes, yes. Ben would rather talk about his drug addicted girlfriend than hear about Alyssa having a freed labia madrura. Check! Check? Oh, you dated a girl with a drug problem.
Starting point is 00:42:36 Check! So Camille calls the men who work in this industry the lost boys and then goes on to state something that obvious is an understatement for us because we've said it so many times. How fucking profound. Yeah. I'm sure you listen to our show.
Starting point is 00:42:53 Yes. She's running away from things. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Yes. You know, we talked about it on below, I could venture, but it was one of my favorite C-Ret histories and some time, Faye, the chiefs do of the vessel said that she survived a toxic relationship, traveled the world and found an industry that she was passionate about, which translates to
Starting point is 00:43:18 evading multiple beer bottles, running from every shred of pain in your entire life from Tahiti to Thailand and then falling complacently into yachting. Well, she came back, I believe, as the story. Yeah. I must survive. All right. So let's get to, oh, she, this is where Camille talks about dating me at NFL player college. Here. Okay. Well, he cheated on you, you know, Rachel covers the bill. Good move, Rachel. Deer them to you. But let's get back to the boat and let's see this ball of snakes in a microwave man in a microwave. Yeah, yeah, yeah, well, it's heating it up and that's what this see the lean cuisine's only been in for a minute, right? They're still freezer burn on the potatoes, right?
Starting point is 00:44:06 But it will be mushy and hot. We will. We will. But it's rock. Right. So it still tastes good. Camille gives a hell of a lap dance. That's a really, really kind gift to somebody.
Starting point is 00:44:17 I'm a turkey. Um, and Alyssa is so disgusted by this that she has to leave. She calls Camille a slut. She calls her a whore. She calls her a bitch. I don't like Alyssa I know she's coming off a little meme right now Yeah, but maybe we'll come around you're doing this thing that you're attracted to Alyssa Yeah, so I
Starting point is 00:44:36 Wanted my horrible character traits is I let horrible behavior go by the wayside because I'm attracted to them. Yeah, well listen Behavior go by the wayside because I'm attracted to them. Yeah, well listen Better men than us have fallen prey to that same exact thing Winston Churchill I'm sure if I'll be to that exact same thing, you know He was he was cool with lots of people Yeah, sorry, yeah, I was I yeah on my next thought I hate how this episode ends because I was like it was 59 minutes and I was looking at the episode run because they put watch what happens And I'm like nobody's gonna fuck no one's gonna fucking I'm like Are they gonna drag this out another 50 minutes because I'm pissed and no they just have a quick shot of Lee waking up out of bed
Starting point is 00:45:18 And he's like I'm fucking numb Right like you're gonna Seriously, you're gonna fucking end this show with Leabing numb right? Well, don't you mean you're as numb as a block of ice on a hot summer day or whatever the fuck that means That's it for us jump the iTunes reading reviews if you do not want to listen to ads go to patreon if you do want to listen The love is blind go to patreon join us on Facebook. We love the engagement there You guys have really been posting some fun stuff love the fans. Thank you for continuing with me and Pat throughout these rocky choppy waters. We can't thank you enough. It means the world to us, seriously. That's it. I'm Dylan Thank you. We all know a guy who only occasionally shaves for big occasions, and it's because that
Starting point is 00:46:34 occasional shave really hurts. It's the time of year for big occasions, and yet, there he is, suffering with that cheap drugstore razor, let's help him out. Henson's Shaving's line of razors, built with aerospace precision, deliver a smooth shave, your dad, brother, and even sunken enjoy. Eventually, with replacement blades just 10 cents each, you'll buy it once and they'll use it for life. How that for the perfect gift!
Starting point is 00:46:54 Celebrate with 100 free blades on your first purchase, and no subscription headaches! HensonShaving.com Slash holiday Ah, feel the WOW with Listerine at BJ's! You can save $2.50 now on Listerine products, like total care, anti-cavity fluoride fresh mint mouthwash, or cool mint pocket packs fresh breath strips at your nearest BJ's location. Experience the feeling of a million germs zapped in seconds with Listerine, discount available through December 24th. Save now, only at BJ's!
Starting point is 00:47:24 Captain Seconds with Listerine discount available through December 24th. Save now, only at BJ's.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.