Another Below Deck Podcast - Nights at the Apollo | Below Deck Sailing Yacht S5 E4

Episode Date: November 5, 2024

Dylan and Pat are back to break down flies, grueling ballerina camps, beans, taints, yogurt shops, Undercover Boss, the Walton family, packed theaters, and more from Bravo's Below Deck Sailing Yacht.Ad Free and Uncensored at Patreon.com/AnotherPodcastNetworkYoutube at https://www.youtube.com/@anotherbelowdeckpodcast_Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/badtvpodcast/Facebook Group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/anotherbelowdeckpodcastGo to MagicMind.com/BelowDeck and Use code BADTVGo to BodySmartFitness.com and mention the show in your application. Use code BADTV in the Tropical Smoothie AppGo to Ro.co/BELOWDECK 

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What what word could I insert in here to best describe how Keith is behaving? He's a pussy. I once got a hand job in a movie theater that was packed. No one even knew. Well, I mean, it's like my profession, but certainly it would have been. And people did know. The person. Directly to your left, no. The person directly to your right now. Most of the time, people don't go see movies by themselves,

so the people that they were with who may or may not have seen it. Definitely. Right? Fair enough. Hi, hello. Welcome aboard another brand spanking new episode of another below deck podcast. It's election day and me and Pat are fighting. No, we're not. Yeah, we are. We are. Yeah. Oh, big fight. Oh, Patty's got his little vanilla latte with him this morning. Uh, it's delicious and strong and we're not doing video today

because we've both been pizza pigs lately and we just don't feel like it. It's election day, it's you know just a yeah just a lot of today you know so we're just sitting here hanging a banging. I'm actually gonna wake and bake. I'm gonna smoke pot right now yeah I'm gonna go to the polling center. I know this is concerning for a lot of people, but I'm going to go to the polling center. Shmooshed out of my mind. Why not? I'm just pushing in things. Oh, you know, that's it. Well, they mailed you one of those fancy ballots. I like to go on game day. Okay. All right. You go ahead and talk to the people about Patreon and then I'm going to go grab a joint. Okay. So we are offering a lot of great stuff behind that $5 paywall.

We're doing Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. We're bringing back the Another Podcast shows. We had a great one last week where I told the story about that my wife and I are essentially being taken advantage of almost constantly by our new parent friends. I think they see us as marks. They're using the hell out of us. Yeah, you're cowards and pussies Can can you give me the top of that? Oh, yeah. Yeah, can I use that? And then obviously yeah, that's a wild story if you want to hear that at patreon.com There are parents that are taking Pat's children's toys and Pat and Sheree are like don't know how to handle We got the robot back this week. Did you really? Mm-hmm

The wife sent a very like, hey, Ellie misses her robot. If you wouldn't mind, you know, I hope you guys had fun with it. But anyway, we got it back. But anyway, we have shows like that. Maybe that doesn't sound as appealing as I'm pitching, but it's a good story.

Oh, it's a really good story. And then I talked about steak knife. And what else did we talk about? Love is Blind is there, Salt Lake City is there, go to patreon.com session on the podcast network. Tonight we have episode something of season something of Below Deck Sailing Yacht. I actually thought it was a good episode. I'm going to give it 78 pots. 78 pots? Yeah, I gave it 78 pots.

Okay. First off, I want to talk about a couple of things. I thought it was fun. Oh, okay. I gave it 78 pods. Okay. First off, I want to talk about a couple of things. I thought it was fun. Oh, okay. I thought, I thought Keith, Danny, Gary, that's a fun triangle of, Yeah.

Of tedium that's brewing. Yeah. I thought Cloyce did well tonight with a nod to Nobu, the Miso sea bass. And yeah, I we had we had crummy guests uh who are superstitious i get that i'm very superstitious too um and then we've got you know just a a complete downward spiral of Emma and Daffodil continues to show us his taint you know i think it's a lot of fun yeah yeah all right first off let's get to a little what's going on in the below deck world

Gary King is rebelling on his Instagram. He's posting behind-the-scenes videos of production that really Gets under a nice book hot deer. Yeah, go for it. That really gets under Andy Cohen skin They are very protective of what happens behind the scenes. So he's doing that intentionally and no we will not be interviewing him He's obnoxious. He's a total jerk. I don't need to hear what he has to say. Regarding the episode, the charter guest who had to point out on three separate times that she had a Birkenbeck, Patty wants to chat with you because I think you're a sad person that places too much emphasis on material things. So please come explain why you're so obnoxious. Mm-hmm. Sorry, who places too much on material things? One of the charter guests had to mention three times

that she owns a Birkin bag. It's pretty childish. You should shake that off by the time you're 22 and a half. I think she's well into her 30s. May God have mercy on your soul. Yeah, Birkin bags are chuggy. Mm-hmm. Anyway, I didn't like the episode as much as Dylan.

I thought it was just okay. I think I'm struggling with this season because it's missing a couple cast members, like some archetypes that I like. What archetype? Well, forgive me. Maybe all right. So Deanna is kind of boring and I don't think she's going to contribute that much to this season.

I'd like a clown with a broom to push her off the side of the boat. I like Deanna. She's kind of like, you know how like Eastern European people can seem like they're a little bit on the spectrum when kind of clashing with Western customs? She, I don't know if she is Eastern European. She sounds Eastern European, but it sounds like she strikes me as somebody who grew up in those grueling ballerina camps in

the tundra and now she's interfacing with scumbags for the first time and she's just angry at them yeah I think it's very entertaining well we'll see also Davidell seems like a nice guy as I've pointed out he looks like a Viking that drank too much gruel fell and hit his head on a rock and he's out of it he's a goofy motherfucker yeah anyway I'd like to sweep him off the boat, get someone else a more interesting one there. But other than that, season's going great, zero knots. Two clowns, two bros.

The Apollo Theater. When you start sucking on stage, they sweep you off. It's wonderful. Is the Apollo Theater the black room? Yep. Showtime at the Apollo. Hosted by Steve Harvey. Yeah. Showtime at the Apollo. Hosted by Steve Harvey. Yeah. Did he host it? There was a revolving door of

hosts. Well, Steve was part of the what is that outfit of people that Bernie Mac was the the kings of comedy. So so he hosted but what did the kings of comedy happen at the Apollo? I'm sure they performed there when they were on tour. Yeah. Yeah, by the way you want to have some fun stories a couple of those guys one of them's dead Bernie Mac yeah and Bernie Mac hated at least two of those other guys and there's some fun stories of them working together on the show. Yeah and to our seven black listeners let us know if we've got anything wrong in the comments and sorry for the microaggression that you would know because you're black

funny Bernie Mac story real quick I Was working on a show with comedian Steve Byrne and love Steve Yeah, he said Steve is so nice. Just the best anyways He said I need some stand-up clips. We're gonna break them down on the show and I said, I need some stand up clips. We're going to break them down on the show. And I said, OK, no problem. This is like break down how a joke is constructed. Yeah, exactly. Really, a lot of people like that.

Yeah, so I look up best comedy bits ever. And one of them was a Bernie Mac bit about his son. I didn't even watch it. I just sent it. I said, this website said this was amazing. And so I sent it and he recorded the episode and he was like hey I had to cut the Bernie thing and I was like what why? And I watched it and the N-word was used quite a bit. Well it just a lot of talk about how he was gonna beat the shit out of his son if he was gay and

stuff and I was just like I apologize. you know it was a different time back then it was a different time Richard Pryor opened the Hollywood Bowl for the Playboy Jazz Festival in like 1982 yeah and he sat there and basically just called people a bunch of you know yeah I was pretty homophobic but you know he gets a pass yeah cuz he was gay too let's get into the show so um we last left off, and there was this really intense kind of music playing. And I was like, oh, what happened last episode? I completely forgot.

And I was just having to be drunk, having a meltdown. Yeah, well, she was. And she was obnoxious in the vans with the girls. And then she started losing it. Where the drama escalates. And Daisy, I'm trying to figure out where you're coming from here. You're acting like a real housewives of the ocean or something.

She then tells Emma that the other girls were really upset with how she behaved in the vans. I appreciate you being a puppet for production, Daisy, but you're out of place here. You're stirring too much poop and you belong literally on, on the boat, stirring poop. It's crazy. It is. Off a toilet bowl. It is. And can you stir it?

Is there that much on? That's how you shake it off. You just, yeah. It is very real housewife of the ocean-like behavior. You know? I mean, it's pretty crazy. So we get some chicken and we hit the vans Someone says did you hook up with Danny? Are you going to okay? That's Gary. Oh, thank you That's not scary Gary caring about no two lovebirds and if they're gonna work out it's him doing

Intel I literally have written down that that is a question, but it's more an inquiry. He's trying to stress test the retaining wall of this relationship. Turns out it's made of the same shit that Daisy is stirring, so pretty weak. Easy to knock down. Now, Dill, do you mind if I do a couple of mean-whiles here, because there's a couple of things.

So I believe the Sea Rats already come back to the boat. Do we need to go? No. So we're in the the coups. There's a bunch of them on the deck Kloy sits in contemplation Do you remember this? He almost like like look like Abraham Lincoln on the the front of that the building. Yeah Yeah, I think he was pondering what horrible dessert he can serve to the next group of paying customers. He's like 50th anniversary grapes with KitKat bars to the next group of paying customers. He's like 50th anniversary. Grapes. With Kit Kat bars. I got it. Yeah.

Cece's been purchasing these frozen grapes with citric acid on them. Have you ever heard of these? No, but we love grapes in our house. Oh my gosh, they're fantastic. It's a wonderful dessert if you don't wanna be a fatty. Yeah. And they're filling too.

Not really. You know, the trick to a good frozen grape, you can't let it freeze all the way ruins it. But if you let it freeze just enough, it turns it into this crunchy cold thing. But it's a fine line. I'm an expert on this. You buy that little box of grapes, and you push them to the back of your refrigerator where it is the coolest. Right. I will get them at that right temperature. We get that little snap and they made a little explosion to juice in your mouth. I Hadn't had a grape in 30 years and then I have kids and I eat them every day

Yeah, they're amazing So Keith is really starting to fucking piss me off or really the producers showing this is starting to piss me off Because you can ask the question like who cares about Sea Rats hooking up? But you what what's it an even more important question is who could possibly care about Sea Rats not hooking up? You know what I mean? Because Sea Rats hooking up is like wholly uninteresting. But it is two damaged runaways slamming into one another so there's something there. But if they're just not doing anything,

miss me with it. Clown, come out clowns. We move off the building. I have a couple more, meanwhile here. Yeah. I believe was it, oh yeah. Danny and Keith cozy up to one another. And then she gives us a little bit of a reason

why she's scared of new relationships. Apparently her boyfriend in the past was also sleeping with scared of new relationships. Apparently her boyfriend in the past was also sleeping with one of her friends. Okay yeah yeah yeah. Sorry. No no no. But you know I have a friend that was had a girlfriend that lived in the same apartment building with him. Oh yeah that's right. That's a hilarious story. This is crazy. Okay yeah so my buddy is dating the girl that lives on the floor beneath him. Beautiful artist girl artist girl hot hot as hell and They're dating and then he has a buddy coming to town that stays with him while he's filming a reality show

Can you can you just acknowledge just really quickly sorry to interrupt but to like the super fans who've heard this story before You've heard it before I mean he's gonna I have yeah He's gonna he's gonna be you know expeditious with it And I'm gonna end it right now the people who haven't heard it are gonna I mean, he's going to, he's going to, he's going to be, you know, expeditious with it. And I'm going to end it right now. The people who haven't heard it are going to like, it's a crazy story. The guy who stays with him starts banging his girlfriend. I couldn't believe it. And then my buddy tells me he has mixed feelings about it. And I said, no mixed feelings about it. You tell that guy to kick rocks and lose your fucking number. Yeah. Yeah. And now they are I heard they got engaged in getting married. So it was an affair built on the foundation of, you know,

cheating, which is a horrible foundation. They got engaged. And they I think they might have already gotten married. So I've heard. So I guess happy ending for them in the comments. Let us my friends ego should be really bruised. I mean, unbelievably bruised. You know, his ego should be like Daffodil if he was a Viking, he fell over, hit his head, and just withered away, but somehow survived. That's what his ego should be. Exactly. Okay, so let's get to the PrefFrenchShaped meeting. Okay, so we've got A Real Housewife of Dallas. Now this show was short-lived. Two seasons? I think more, I'm not sure. The difficulty, speaking of clowns, you know, there were some housewives on the franchise that shined or shone a little bit, but when you have a carny who has five million units of Botox in her face and is clinically unhinged, everybody's kind of just gonna fall by the wayside because that is a literal

circus. Yeah, you know they can kind of bring these things back. We'll see. I heard New Jersey's on a hiatus for a little while. It may come back. Everybody's boring. Yeah. Not everybody. So a couple notes here, Tiffany and Daniel, as you pointed out, she's from Dallas. Quick note, this is a really short yachting experience. This is just gonna be an overnight. It's an overnighter. Yeah, this technically doesn't count

as a yachting experience to me. This is more like a tourist, oh, let's just, it's like taking a helicopter ride while you're on vacation. It's so quick, it doesn't count. You never get to embrace the experience. With that being said, I, you know, while you're on vacation. Yeah. So quick, it doesn't count. You never get to embrace the experience. With that being said, I don't know. I kind of don't know how I feel about it because it is like kind of like gross

and noncommittal and poor. But also. Would you want to spend 48 hours being subjected to sea rats? Well, not at this low level. I think today is probably pretty perfect. That being said, Bravo, if you want Dylan and I and our hot wives on the show, we'll come and our tip will be 20 grand. Our wives are so beautiful. Oh yes they are. Gosh, very lucky. How lucky are we? Very lucky. I'm disgusting. How did we do it? Well, I was much better looking before I got fat. I was, yeah.

I'm starting to get red too. You know what I mean? I don't think you look red. I think you look very beige. Okay, because that's how you start taking that turn for looking like an old person. Oh yeah. You get the gray hair, that's fine.

You can be George Cooney. He's been gray for 30 years, he's still handsome. Then your face starts getting red. And then you walk down streets with your mouth open. You know what I mean? And you're not even knowing you're doing it and then before you know it you were a young person and now you're fucking old All right new segment for Patty here new request alert They want a professional photog to capture all their awesome moments. That's a new one. Well done there last but not least

Why well? Well, it's new why well, they're so chuggy these losers I thought they would have requested a white party good on them for not just being as basic as I thought they were All right Cloyce mentions. He's cooked for an OC housewife. Don't you follow the OC franchise? We are covering it now This is someone from the past season. Yeah, do you remember Braunwyn? That's who he's talking about Yes, she should I like remember Braunwyn eight kids kids and she famously said the reason she had so many kids wasn't because she loved children and enjoyed being a mother. It was the only thing that kept her from drinking a bottle of vodka every day.

When she was pregnant she sucked. She loves those kids though. Oh yeah, yeah. I think she moved to New York with her girlfriend and left the kids in fucking California with their father. Yeah, she loves him though. Oh yeah, of course. Just like my dad loved me when he left when I was two and I didn't see him till I was

10. He loved me. Yeah, he did. You know, you remember when you're talking about people getting red? Yeah. You know, the great Sir Alex Ferguson. Is that what you're talking about? Yeah.

And you start getting those age spots on your fucking face. You look like a bruised orange. Right. I didn't know about the mouth being involuntarily open though. Old guys they start like they take a walk in the morning you watch him I like drive all over town and I'm like yeah oh look at that guy he's walking he's like catching flies in his mouth as he walks. Maybe he's eating them. I don't know. Maybe he likes flies.

If it happens over and over again, you get less surprised, right? Because at first it's just very startling. Then you get less surprised and then as you grow into that being apparent, because you can't shut your mouth, you start just kind of looking on the bright side. It is a protein source. It's two chops. And we're moving on with our day. So Japanese dinner. Oh Dylan! What? We forgot about Davidel going to bed at that night where he was really drunk. Well I said he keeps showing us his taint but I mean this is two weeks in a row where

we've really gone 20 000 leagues. Well as out, also, Alex from a past season had used Captain Glenn's head as a drink coaster. That's right. That's right. In this occasion, when Davideel was climbing naked and almost falling off his bunk while he was climbing, he almost turned Captain Glenn's head into a toilet seat. Oh, yeah. One slip of that. And it could be he's tossing a salad a complete catastrophe and it's something that I think that Glenn would be pretty cool with actually hey buddy

you know next time we were stepping up hey just maybe turn the light on it's okay just turn the light on yeah yeah my tongue was in your ass last night I'm not happy about right and daffod oh, hi, I'm so sorry. All right. What a weirdo. We want Japanese style dinner. I have written down no swimming. Does that make any fucking sense at all? No, oh, that was Captain Glenn telling Cloyce,

don't go swimming this time. Oh, no swimming, thank you very much for the help there, Pat. And we get to department heads having a tough time with their underlings. Daisy has a conversation with Cloyce. She says, Hey, just this time around, how about we don't order a cake looks like a fucking Oregon rupture, huh? And just really excel, you know what I mean? And then Gary has a conversation with Emma. The two

conversations sound a little bit like can you not be a sack of human being this time around? And then we get to Danny and Deanna. Call Danny Psy. He looks like Psy, Gangnam style. Okay. Gangnam style. Hang on a second. Yeah. And can I tell you, you are excelling this episode.

You are making me laugh so much. Thanks pal. Call him Sy. What are you actually fucking talking about? He looks like Sy. Who is who? You don't know the number one hit from 2013. No, who are you saying looks like Sy?

Danny. Danny is a woman. Oh. Oh. Oh, her husband's? I'm not even at the guests. Oh, you're not at the guests. No, I'm talking about Danny and Diana.

Diana forgive me. I thought the guests had arrived. I'm so sorry. I am drinking this goddamn coffee. I'm shaking. I'm not feeling myself. I'm out of sorts. It's you can imagine the confusion

that I was swept up in. Absolutely. But when the guests arrive, the mail charter guests looks like sign. it's you can imagine the confusion that I was swept up in absolutely, but when the guests arrive, the mail charter guest looks like side, I'm going to style. Yeah, such wow. Wow. We were better than yeah, we were two thousand thirteen. I was one of my favorite years. I met my wife. I sold a

TV show. Yeah, it was about it and then good year though. wife, I sold a TV show. Yeah. That was about it. And then, yeah, God knows though. Okay, so Danny does this thing where she kind of has psychotic breaks about her name being on tacky. She has, you know, issues with not being on service full-time this time rolls around and I think that it's a known known Donald Rumsfeld thank you for that that

these guests are gonna be hard so Danny says I would like to go down into laundry and turnover that's right Danny's not a fan. You're not a fan? Not a fan. I'll tell you, she's holding the weight of this season thus far. Yeah, yeah. Oh, that's... She's carrying it on her back. She of course is, yeah. I mean, but what do we always say? Horrible people make great reality TV yeah I'm not saying Danny's a horrible person she's a very annoying manipulative hey um let's get to the guests arriving they immediately say that they're orgy people I don't like this I am with your sex and all that stuff keep it between you and the person you're having sex with okay I'm not a prude you're annoying you know this is a

really common thing where people need to kind of profess how sexually active they are to the poor Sea Rats yeah it's almost like nanny nanny nana gangbang tonight you're gonna be cleaning my poop out of the toilet you know and one of the guys looks like Gangnam Style. Yeah, man. OK. Is this... Guy's worth like a billion dollars.

Can you stop playing that? I'm a little concerned that this could be perceived as quite racist. Why? I don't think it... I don't know. No, he looks like... I thought it was Psy when he walked on the boat. I'm like, oh, Psy made it on here. Why didn't they mention that? He wants a Gangnam style, you know, type of dinner or something. But when they didn't mention that,

I was like, that's probably not Psy. And what would a Gangnam style like dinner look like? Oh, definitely have chicken. Why? I don't know. I always eat that when I go to a restaurant. You're all out of sorts. I'm all out of sorts. Now. To election day. Okay, I want to talk about Jerry, AKA J Moe. I want this guy on every episode

because he's like a secret shopper, but not really, or just quality control. Sure, sure. Major ball buster, extremely passive aggressive. What is that show? Or is it under, he's like undercover boss. He's undercover boss. Yeah, they never knew that was the CEO walking in there. Wow, why does that beard look like he bought it

out of a 99 cents store? I think that's our CEO. There's somebody at a fucking smoothie shop and they're like, there's this new guy with a melted face that's telling me to do stuff. Everyone else is 14 working in the yogurt shop and they got a 68 year old guy in there with an apron on. Hey where'd he come from? I needed work. It's amazing if they put one of the Waltons agreed to do that. Or the Sacklers. Yeah. Hey yeah it would be 10 minutes and they'd be like, Hey, take this pill.

Make you feel good. Well, I think the Walton's blood lust for poor human beings would probably take over. They'd rip the mask off and they just start fucking ripping spines out of people. I view them to have incisors that are sharper than others. So anyways, the guests, um, they've arrived. They look like one of the them looks like Gangnam Style. I don't know if that's racist. Don't think it is.

I think that you're just saying that he actually does. Looks like Cy. That's right. So we have a bit of an issue with the lazy sheet while we're sailing. Now we get our gaffers tape on the drawer. I wish it was gaffers tape. It's painter's tape, Dylan.

And yes, I believe that is Deanna that uses that to keep the doors closed the cabinet doors closed when the boat will Lean at a 45 degree if you think about that. That's like a national lampoon's kind of Oversight of design. I mean, it's fucking crazy I'll make that point Dylan having a guy that has no arms stand in front of those cabinets would be more preventative. Sure. Than painters tape. It's you know it's like my dad is a contractor and he built a bunch of homes that our family stayed in and they're all beautiful right? But when you look or you go to a bathroom, Oh yeah. You'll, you'll have to go around the door because you just installed the light on the, on the rock. It's like little things like that, where you're like,

how could you have done this? This is crazy. Not a master craftsmanship is what you're pointing out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it was just little oversights that you really have to pay attention to. Now I have a theory, sorry, behind the scenes. I just get fascinated by this stuff. Painters tape. I mean, just little oversights that you really have to pay attention to. Now, I have a theory. Sorry, behind the scenes. I just get fascinated by this stuff. Painters tape, I'm like, how would painters tape make its way on this vessel? Because it would serve no purpose on a boat.

It's not going to hold anything together. Production, it's where they strike the floor for where someone needs to stand. 100%. One other note with JMo there. When they're about to sail, he asked Daisy, what's the weather like today? And she said, I don't know.

And he pushes back and he said, well, shouldn't you know that? To which she tells him, yeah, I think I don't know. And if you think this is bad, wait for dinner tonight. I think the chef is serving melted snicker bars. Well, listen, I wanted to say to JMo, she's the head waitress. Why are you asking her about the weather? You absolute moron. OK, so we get to the, OK, so we have this lazy sheet thing.

Gary's very upset, and Glenn is is upset and so are the primaries. I'm very confused as to why Gary put Emma on such a physically demanding task. It seems as though Gary had a bit of a tough time with it when he was pulling it out. I don't know why Emma would excel at this. It seems like you need to you need more beef behind that. You know it's a very difficult thing to pull out. Put Keith on

that. He's a fucking massive stick of beef. This may be them setting someone up for failure. You think? I think so because Gary runs right into Captain Glenn's bridge there. Drops a dime. He says you know she may be a little greener than he thought and that of course is him essentially hinting that she may be a little greener than he thought. And that, of course, is him essentially hinting that she may have lied on her resume a bit, which has become quite a norm on this show and these vessels. It's like Michael Jackson hanging out with six-year-olds for two decades.

It's like, oh, that's normal. Are we going to get to the end of our lives and have one major regret going so hard on Michael Jackson because he didn't do any of it. Maybe, I mean that doc, I mean, when you look back at it. All the times we've been like, hey, can you find me a plump one? All of those times.

Right. And we've gone even deeper. Yes, we have. I've talked to Michael from the grave. 100%. Are we gonna regret all that? Sigh Nah, he fucked

in check. I think he did. Of course I did. Of course I did. I fucked him. Once again this conversation between Glenn and Gary demonstrates just how low the qualifications required for these vessels are. Because Gary comes to the captain of the boat and he says this is not good

And Glenn literally says it's fine. Give her a chance. Maybe you can I don't know try some different things Yeah, get her motivated. Isn't she pulling ropes on a sailboat? Like I don't know a lot about sailing but I would imagine that most of the ropes if not all of the ropes are important. So Danny gets to go to the island to do a photo shoot while Deanna cleans shit off toilet bowls. The other thing Danny goes on this excursion and there's no service so she's really just going to be standing there at a beautiful vista. Danny once again wins. Little flirtatious there. Now, Keith pushes back because you know this is professionalism here at stake and she doesn't like that. But what he doesn't realize is when he's pushing his hand off her, he's pushing her towards Gary. Well, and you have to know that that's happening, right? You have to know That that's happening right you have to walk aboard a vessel and one chill out and quit being such a

What what word could I insert in here to best describe how Keith is behaving? He's a pussy. I once got a hand job in a movie theater that was packed. No one even knew Well, I mean it's like my profession, but certainly it would have been and people did know the person directly to your left knew the person directly to your right now. Most of the time people don't go see movies by themselves. So the people that they were with who may or may not have seen it definitely knew right fair enough because you'd go hey i hope you're enjoying bruce almighty you're never gonna this guy's getting fucking checked off next to me what are you gonna do are you gonna say hey can you guys stop that that's

not like a you're talking to laugh that's you're getting a hand job. Yeah. I wouldn't know how to bust that up. Just smack at it. All right. So Keith is being a little bit of a softy and taking his job way too seriously. And also, you have to see that Gary King is a snake in the weeds. I mean, one look at that guy, and you should know that if you're interested in a woman and she does not want you to slow play it, don't slow play it because you're going to lose out.

Yes, as we see at the tail end of this episode. Yes. So we get to dinner. It's either going to be incredibly chill with the worst thing that Cloyce has ever done. Well, he tells us, you know, he has dabbled in this fair. In the 11th grade he took a class. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank God it's one of the easiest cuisines to pull off on planet Earth. No, I'm being satirical, you know, because you know these Japanese fellas, yeah, they'll work on rice for like 70 years and then die. Yeah, well, or like even before they let them serve or, you know, be in a kitchen they make you know, shape rice or something. It make you an, I don't know,

shape rice or something. It's really special. Yeah. And then us ugly Americans just go there and drop a bunch of soy sauce on top of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you know, a lot of those places, they won't even let you do it.

Really? No soy sauce? Well, they put the soy sauce on that is the recommended amount of soy sauce. Oh. I'm not going to that place. That's like one of those burger places. Like, I don't want onions on it.

Sorry. The chef doesn't change. OK, are you honestly telling me that you would go to the power node of sushi and go to one of the true masters and say, I need a little bit more soy sauce? Well, I don't know. All I'm saying is, I don't want to be told sauce? Well, I don't know. All I'm saying is I don't want to be told what to do.

I don't even think you would like an omakase like that. What if somebody puts monkfish liver in front of you? Are you going to eat it? No. Is Nobu, is that just fucking filthy, yucky, normy, like dressed up as something special? There are a lot of restaurants in Los Angeles and I've never been to no boo and Malibu but there are a lot of restaurants in LA that spa go Muson Frank no boo it's not that the food is excellent it's just that they're kind of

institutions and they're still not bad so people go you will have a good meal, but you'll drop $500. Oh, yeah easy So it's kind of stupid. Yeah, it's a place where tick tockers go to I don't know prime their partners before doing cool butt stuff with each other on a live stream. Wow That or, you know, old lawyers bringing mistresses there. Oh yeah. You know what I mean?

It's a big special date. You are weird, today. I'm on this, coffee man. I'll tell ya, changing up the recording schedule, and by the way, bravo. I know you've probably been waiting for us to launch our first attack. It's already, the movement is already

there just wait for it you're gonna pay for this the fact that don't I have to come in here and record these fucking episodes on Tuesday morning we will have our revenge yeah we're going to kill everyone they are no no no you don't kill your enemy. You let them live to be miserable for making the mistake of crossing you. Yeah. We're going to be like those ravens that pluck people's eyes out

and then they have to walk the rest of their lives blind. Fuck. I couldn't. I shouldn't have fucked that guy over. Now I have no eyes. Now I have no eyes. Now I'm like Denzel Washington in the Book of Eli. It's an underrated movie. You know, I don't like films that have a palette that's that consistent.

Like, this is just going to be brown the whole time. All the time. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's like, it's tedious. Yeah, I agree with that. OK, so first dish is avocado crab rolls. They are served with, I believe, a prawn mousse. Delicious, lightweight to start off the meal.

Jerry J. Moujeri orders an espresso martini, after which a dish is dropped, tempura carrot salad and raw shrimp. The main course of the evening will obviously be a nod to Nobu. The miso cod there is one of the reasons why that dish is, or that restaurant has stood the test of time. That, and it's a special place where people get all hopped up and primed to bang each

other. That's right. And I think that he nails it with a large format version of the dish. I think that this was quite an excellent showing from Chloe. I'm going to nails it with a with a large format version of the dish I think that this was a quite an quite an excellent showing from Chloe Somebody give it 72 upon quite the showing from the young man. Yeah. Wow. Okay lots of potential with him Okay, so let's jump back to J Moe. You ever go to Malibu at night I don't want to be in Malibu at night. I do dark out there my wife This is how I tell her that I love her or show her I love her.

She makes me do things that I don't want to do. Like what's that a steak place that I had to take her to at night in Malibu? What's the famous steak place? I don't know. Begins with my Mastros. I've, I took her to Nobu for her birthday at night. Well, late afternoon. It sucks.

I don't know why people live in Malibu. It sucks. I hate Malibu. It's just fucking rocks and beach. There's nothing there. There's nothing there. And you're so far away from everything else. I guess you can roll down PCH in 30 minutes

and be in San Diego. Oh, you missed something. What are you gonna do? We're on this street, but you can't turn around. I want an In-N-Out burger. Fuck. You're fucked. You are fucked.

Where do you go if you want In-N-Out? Santa Monica. You go to Santa Monica? Mm-hmm. Holy shit. You got to go up Las Virginas all the way to Calabasas where the Kardashians live. That's true.

My god. What a nightmare. No, thank you. You think that was good for the audience? That's fine. That's a little local entertainment. All right, so Deanna gives JMo a little sassafras because he expressed his displeasure with there only being a single espresso beater.

She hates him. She doesn't like him. He represents something to her that I don't quite understand. Toxic masculinity, I think. Maybe that. Yeah. OK. Well, she had said that people don't actually eat those things. And I eat them all.

So you don't eat the beans? Yeah. You crunch them in your mouth and it gives you a little high because there's so much caffeine in them. Oh, definitely. Why else are they there? Do you eat the parsley on a steak? No, but if you'll notice, that is no longer

a staple of breakfast. If you go to Norm's, they'll put a sprig of parsley on really any dish they serve. You know what? You know a funny bit? Have a dude walk in there, and then just go up to each table and go, can I eat your parsley? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's just, well, it's a bunch of people who are almost dead. So it takes a while

for them to say sure. And it's amazing because now that I think about it, their mouths are open already, you know, it's just kind of like, it's true. You just throw it in their mouth. But with, with their mouths being open already, you would think that it wouldn't take so long for them to turn their head and say, sure. But it does because they're dying. Oh yeah. And why are they dying? Life, gravity, and the poison served at norms. That's true.

You know, it's a real wheat trap. So anyways, Danny is the one that excels on service, believe it or not. You know, I soften up on Danny a little bit here because somehow she did end up having to do it. And she's high fiving JMo and all that stuff. Quite the heck from that guy. Don't teach strangers high fives that they can do with you.

That's really weird. Let's get to the next morning. Next morning. Emma had a bunch of stuff to do the next morning and she did it, but the boat is sopping wet. Yeah. It's not okay. I can't tell if she did nothing or she did it so late that it's still moist from

the mop passing over it. Yeah. No, she, she did it. Yeah. She did it late. And I think the problem is you got to do that stuff early because you can't leave a deck all sopping. Well, that's right.

Daffodil knows how to crack backs obviously because his previous captain you captain used to do quote-unquote weird stuff. Daffodil is good for a charming eyes wide shut moment or two every episode. Yeah. It's an odd contribution to this franchise. I don't think that we've ever had a little freak like Daffodil on the board ever before I'm kind of here for it. I'm I kind of like daffodil. Yeah, me. Where's the clown? Get him off my television. He's not interesting Patrick how is he not interesting? He's lived such an interesting life. Well, then I want to hear more about it

You know those fuck dungeons in like Germany. Oh, yeah stuff like that. We've never been to those fuck dungeons. Daffodil ass. It's been there with Gary. That's pretty crazy. So the guest apart, Danny, they tell Danny that she made the best three bean espresso martini ever. Now this was this was bizarre to me because it was it was extremely pointed, requires you know however you want to look at it a good amount of mental energy to remember to say it to get there to hold that grudge and then deliver it and it's over an espresso martini that didn't have two beans. No Dylan it wasn't about that in most human interactions where one's really trying to ponder why was I upset by that? Yeah, one bean right. It was the sassafras that was given back to him. Yeah

Okay, but it was given back to him. It wasn't the primaries yet The primaries deliver this message of vengeance. It's just crazy. J Mo whisper on your head. Remember to tell her that she's a cunt. Yeah. Hey, I'm undercover boss. Okay. So remember to tell day that she's the best and I'll make Deanna feel really bad.

Okay. Do I'm undercover boss. So here we are. We pick up with Emma after the guest apart and she calls her much more successful clever sister, right? Now, I don't know what Lauren does for a living, but I think Emma's starting to realize that the beauty and freedom of being a Sea Rat is not all that it's supposed to be. You're, look. Is it chalked up? Is that the expression? I think that's what I meant. Yeah, yeah. You know,

on one side you're not tethered to the mundane structures of normal society You're a C rat you can have sex with your co-workers at any time of the week You can drink your entire income away in one sitting at a bar. There's no judgment there It's truly freeing but on the other tip end of that. It's also a sad lonely life Yeah, what's gonna happen to Emma here. You cannot be self-loathing and be in this industry. No. You will be just crushed by the weight of your own criticism and I get it, Jew. You know, we do it constantly. So I understand where Emma's coming from. Emma has not warranted any kind of self-hatred that we've seen thus far. It's just a general kind of anxiety about the kind of places in life where we're a little rudderless, you know?

And that causes a complete freak out. But let me tell you something, sister. Being a Sea Rat is not a fix. It's more like steroids for that kind of thing. Yeah, you go, that'll take you right off a cliff. I mean, it's actually not so she has a panic attack at dinner. But before we get there, we have to get to the tip. There's really nothing here. 25 grand. We need there's nothing here. It's 25 grand for one day. I know. But that's as the audience, I think, has picked up by us saying it 18 times an episode the tip

is what the entire guests are paying for that that experience it is now the tip they don't charge them to charter the boats anymore they pay with the tip that's what they ask you to pay oh I think they charge you but just like a minimal amount no we heard uh I forgot who came in here. Maybe it was off mic, but yeah, it's just a tip. Yeah. Okay, well anyways, they get a $25,000 tip. Cloyce, LOL Cloyce, says, memories are the thing I'm here for.

He's just kidding, I'm here for the money. You know, that's how you have to behave in this environment. You have to be bloodthirsty, you have to be reptilian, and you have to be a rat. No, I like Cloyce because I feel like this is what you should do when you're young. Get a little experience, have some fun, and make a little money while you're at it. And then get the hell out of this industry.

Yeah. Well, worst day in food, but definitely stay off the ocean. That's what I meant. Yeah. Go open a restaurant. It's not Top Chef the Ocean. That's not going to happen. You know what I mean? You still watching Top Chef? Yeah, I watched the last season. Where was it? Well it's all over the damn place as per usual. I thought they put it in like a city. You know what they did focus in Michigan a lot so that could have been like the... Michigan hotbed of the culinary world. Yeah. All right let's get to shoe and dinner dinner Deanna says I hope there are hot people here tonight I kind of like this Deanna is I think she's too hot for the guys on this boat

It's not gonna happen now. I Don't really think it's gonna happen. No, so we got to hope that it happens with some rando land Lived person right right right? Yeah, by the way, little fun thing. One of the seasons coming up, we will be entertained by a crew member having sex with someone off. Oh, sure, yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't mention anything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I'm not going to.

It's so fun. My mom is sending, I love you texts to the family. Like, she's like, like, mom, the bombs aren't falling. OK, it's just people are voting. OK, so I love this mild panic attack from Emma. I don't love it. I don't know why I said that, but she has a mild panic. OK, so Emma and Daisy sit down.

We're having coffee. I apologize. That's gross. Sorry, I'm dying. No. They discuss Emma's insecurities. And Emma says she has to leave, and she cites that it's because it's too hot.

But it's actually the voice is in her head. If you think about it, yeah, like there is, right? So when you go like this, you wanna associate that with heat, right? But this right here, this physical act, generates something, right? And when you have 500 different civil war soldiers and Zulu warriors and then just versions of yourself all screaming at each other in your head,

it heats things up quite a bit, you know what I mean? Then your head explodes like that movie scares. Yeah, or he turns to those aliens from Mars Attacks. Rararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararar Sleepy Hollow scared me. Oh, that's a great movie. I think it is a great movie, but it scared the bejeeze out of me, because there's this one scene where Ichabod Crane's father looks through the window at him. And it just scared the piss out of me, because as a kid, I used to sleep next to a window. And to this day, my biggest fear is somebody watching me,

and I don't know that they're there. We leave our window open at night in our bedroom, because I love that Southern California night air just comes through there. You're in your bed. And occasionally, I'll wake up in the middle of the night, and I'll be under the covers. And I peek out, and I'll like be under the covers and he got it. And I'm looking, someone's staring at me.

I know it's such a haunting feeling. You know what I mean? So anyways, Emma has the panic attack. Glenn makes himself a margarita and watches the NFL too. This was hilarious. This is hilarious to me. The voiceovers. And he has the football and he's running down the field.

Yeah. Teacher's assistants at Sarah Lawrence are not NFL announcers. You know, I don't want to say that Chris Collinsworth is brain dead, but he's good at... It's just different. Yeah. It's different. So Keith and Danny have a conversation like they're dating, but they've never kissed.

No, no, no. So this is where we've got to be like, we got to move. To credit Danny, you know what? I actually like Danny. I love Danny, actually. Move on. The audience is getting bored of you two and your nonsense so Danny finds herself another suitor

well yes she does it goes to 3 45 a.m. in the morning and Gary you know this is where Gary tricks women he's he puts himself out there as this kind of fun loving like let's go do something exciting like jump in the water with all those people over there. Let's have a glass of champagne. Sure, one night stand, there will be no relationship with Gary because he needs different women to satisfy his sex and love addiction. It's amazing to see Gary go from just head of another department to hoisting Danny up and smacking her ass, condemning Keith for not moving fast enough. And then before you know it, we're doing something.

I love that call. It is like out of his playbook, you know? Subject them to adventure and then bang them. It's exciting. All right. That's it for us. Everybody stay cool, stay warm, stay wherever you are. If it's good, if it's bad, stay somewhere different. Get the iTunes ratings, you'll usually

five stars kind words, join us patreon.com slash another podcast network for Salt Lake City. Aps PMS love is blind is there and more. We love you guys. And let me cheese the next PMC is going gonna be great. I'm gonna go through actors and actresses that turn down parts. Believe it or not, it's gonna be really funny. Also, I'm gonna eulogize Quincy Jones. Okay. Yeah. He's dead?

Yeah, he died this week. Oh yeah. I'm sure. That's Rashida's dad, right? That's right. How do we know her? I just was reading up on him. I just saw it. She's just in everything for some reason. And she's always bad. And she's the straight man in a lot of stuff, but not really.

It's like, why? Wow. She was in the office. She was in Parks and Rec. Vampire Weekend. Wow. His biography is pretty fun. He said the Beatles suck.

And his thoughts on them are pretty interesting, because he was actually working with them in the studio. He said none of them actually know how to play that well, their instruments. Oh, they were fucked up on LSD. But that's going to be a crazy story. Go to patreon.com, slash another podcast network to hear all of the...

Quincy Jones is an asshole. I think he could be in his late stage error. Yeah. Do you think he had dementia? I think he did. I mean, he just died at 94. They interviewed him for that Rolling Stones interview four years ago. He sounded like he was losing his mind.

He said Marlon Brando would fuck anything, including Richard Pryor and a mailbox. That's how horny he was. Well he's a hundred percent right about that. Marlon Brando just decided you know what? Fuck it. Oh my god and one of the biggest ways possible he moved to an island indulged in every food drink and slot he could possibly fall into. Big fat piggy look like Jabba the Hutt. Thank you.