Another Below Deck Podcast - Non-refundable Treatment | The Valley S2 E2

Episode Date: April 24, 2025

Dylan, Ruby and Pat are back to break down a bad dads, babies, non refundable treatment, calendars, lawyers and more from Bravo's The Valley. Patreon - Patreon.com/AnotherPodcastNetworkYouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@anotherbelowdeckpodcastStoryworth.com/BadTV

Jessie Lolly, Michelle, call Quentin Tarantino, get a shark of a lawyer and say, these are my demands and if you have a problem with it, see you in court. A mediator? Oh, no, no, no, no more, Zach. No more mediators. Get to court and that's it. Hi, hello, welcome to another Brands Bang New episode of Bad TV. My name is Dylan, that is Pat. Hey, great to be here. And that is Ruby Wren. Hi, Dylan.

Hi, Pat. How are you guys? Good. A lot of pageantry with that intro. Very well. We just got to talk to our listeners in our Patreon group. That was so fun. I love talking to the listeners. They're just... We really are lucky that we have great fans. We're lucky. So, we're here to talk about... The Valley.

Yeah. An important piece of business before we begin our recap today. We're here to talk about the Valley. Yeah, important piece of business before we begin our recap today. What? Well, I thought we were going to change our scale, our rating system. It was degrees. We can keep it that. Ruby, we have some submissions for some alternative rating system names. Can I throw you a few and you tell me which thing name them? Okay rentals

Okay We're reading them all Pat and then I will tell you my top To and do it the way that she wants it and also also, could you do a favor moving forward when we do this? And I really appreciate you getting the minutes the way that you have. Yes, yes, yes. Can we give some people credit? Oh, I didn't write down the names. No, I'm aware. Yeah, I apologize. Well, if we pick your name- You can give credit to the winner. And this is why I wanted, we can do them at once because

it's kind of like when you go to award shows and you hold the applause to the end, it's easier for everyone and no one's feelings get hurt. It's a great point. People's feelings still get hurt though. All right. Well, if we pick your rating system name, then call yourself out. Congratulations. You get to go to the chocolate factory. Okay. Ruby, first one, bad life choices. Joint custodies. Almost got a spit take on that one. Okay, I already said rentals. And

lastly, restraining orders. I could see myself saying that. I give it 14 restraining orders. Yeah, I honestly, I think that's my winner because all of these people, women and men, I could see having to both take out and be have them taken out on, you know? I do like joint custody stuff. Yeah. Joint custody is good. What, what about like mediators is mediators one? Cause then it's like, how many mediators do you need? You know, usually you just need one, but you could,

if we're talking about the show, need 100. I think the jury's still out. Okay, so. We got it, we got it. All right, get in the comments. Get in the comments. Nobody's going to the chocolate factory yet. If you have a submission and you're too cheap

to pay us $5 to be in our Patreon group, go to Bad TV on Facebook. Nope, nope, you don't get to submit. You don't get to submit? You'll not be heard. What if it's great though? Doesn't matter. That's how we got shoulder taps. Really? Mm- heard. What if it's great though? Doesn't matter.

That's how we got shoulder taps. Really? Uh-huh. Bummer. Yeah. Let him post. It's a barrier to entry. All right.

All right. Right now, my two are joint custodies and restraining orders. Yeah. It's a little bit like baby of the year. We have the micro-regional pageants, right? And then we tell the babies that they lost in Kalamazoo. And then the babies that succeed get to go to the national stage. Florida.

Right. Speaking of chocolate factories, I want to check in with everybody, see how everybody's doing. Ruby actually sent me a text today. She was looking up reviews for, I believe, some kind of cream. And what was it? Ingrown hair cream or something like that? It's a lightning cream So you should clarify that it was not for my butthole. Oh got it. Okay. Well, so

Ruby is looking at the reviews and she sends me this picture of Somebody who's honestly I don't see that big of a problem with this This person is trying to show you how effective this product is. Take a look at this guy. I mean, look at how well that. Oh my God. Yeah. No, no.

I would say that's a perfect layer cake of butthole and taint and balls and dick, I would say. I think he's got implants too, cuz he's got kind of a scar but I'm not sure. Anyways I don't want to I'm also going on a One Piece journey if anybody knows have any recommendations for One Piece let me know I know there are like a thousand episodes. I'm gonna go see Sinners again this Saturday I'll let you guys know how the second viewing is. Do you have anything you wanna update people on? No, I think everything's great.

Thanks for listening. Share the show. And Ruby, anything with you? I will be updating everyone on how this works because supposedly it will work well. Okay, big announcement. Ruby got nerds clusters at her office in one of those dispensable, you know, like

free. No, I couldn't be in a worse spot at work because of these fucking clusters. I'm not joking. And it's really it's crunch factor are saying it no Pat, it's like you can't there there the big like, normally it's a trail mix or a cereal in there. You twist it, it comes out, and now it's full of fucking, it's the most elite candy in the world.

We get there at nine in the morning. What? Okay. I'm there at nine in the morning eating clusters. You can't do that. It's work. You know what I mean? It's a disaster.

I've eaten no less than 1,000 since it's been installed. Well, you gotta be careful because if you eat too many of those things, you'll get poo gas. But listen, we gotta get into the show. It's the second episode of The Valley. You know, I accidentally, when I was watching this, watched episode two of season one. That's what Peacock had me on. And Jax and Kristen go to the Smokehouse, a legendary joint in Burbank, and Jax says this is where I would have worked. Jax, you would never work for any of the dining institutions in this city. The Smokehouse is disgusting, but still requires people to not be blitzed out of their mind on nose beers to work.

These are professional waiters. You're a model who's like, you didn't make it and that's why you're sniffing up all over the place and throwing chairs at your wife. But anyways, how many degrees and Or restraining orders and or mediators and or joint custody joint custody's do we give this episode? I want to go first go first Ruby you may consider this conspiratorial. I think a lot of this episode? I want to go first. Go first. Ruby, you may consider this conspiratorial. I think a lot of this episode was cooked. Here we go. Okay. Yeah. It's just over the top too much to drive home a point. And let me first lay out why my theory is true. There's a lot of pressure on this particular show to succeed like most, but they had a very, very successful first season.

It was six episodes. Where do you get two couples imploding in the same season? One well-known couple. So season two- I'm damn saying near nowhere. There is a lot of pressure to make sure the first couple episodes have all the drama they need. All the pop.

All the pop. All the pop. Bang! OK, so Jax, the entire episode, which I believe was technically taking place over the course of a couple days, is wearing the same Jax Barr baseball cap and sweatshirt. Well, Cokeheads will do that if you're on a bender. I was going to say, there's two ways that happened. Either the episode was filmed in a single day, right? Or he was yoked out on Columbia and happy dust and didn't bother to change for a

while. Yeah, I think it was the Columbia and HD. Okay. Now Ruby, just to lay this out. So one of the fights they have is that Brit had been texting sexy pictures to the new boyfriend, Julian, who's actually a friend of Jackson. So he gets upset at that. Then she goes in the house and apparently saw a pair of thong underwear on the bathroom counter. Yeah.

Something that never happens. When women want to leave stuff behind, as I've experienced. Well, why don't you ask Ruby on your many sexcapades that you've been on, have you ever left behind any underwear on top of the bathroom? For a one night stand? On a one night stand? No.

No one ever has. If you want a guy and you want an excuse to call him to come back to make sure it just wasn't a one night stand, you tuck it under his bed. Had that happen. Oh, wow. OK. Seems like a small sample size.

Second, Brittany opens up the refrigerator and finds a glass with lipstick on it. Okay. An opaque glass with lipstick on it. Also, that glass was disgusting. I mean, what cup? A toddler drinks out of that. Oh, is it? I think so. I thought it was the glassware of the home, in which case like, what are we doing with obsidian glass that people are drinking out of? That's disgusting. Ruby wants to chime in. To me, this looked like something you would get

at like a sports game, and then you bring it home. And I think that if you're coming over to fuck Jax Taylor, one of two things is true, bad judgment. So you would do something like accept a beverage from that man in a plastic cup. And also possibly I don't know if that song was planted. I really don't I really don't think this cup. I think he saw this lipstick, continue to use this cup for several days and wanted whatever beverages in there to

remain cold. So he kept placing it in the fridge. Or you know, Jackson's a sassy little bitch, he might have left it there on purpose for Jax. I think I cracked it. Jax is putting the stuff all over the place for Brittany to find. Interesting theory. Let me continue my joint custodies.

Jesus. Okay. Then there's a lot of emphasis on the particular bar stool that he had in a rage smashed on the floor. A bit of rage. Danny and Jason stopping by just as he's taking a intake phone call from a facility that right out of the gate is gonna let him know it's gonna cost 30k. There's no refunds. He's taking an intake call from a robot. That was all fake. He doesn't even like those two guys. He told them, Hey, I gotta

take this call. Get out of here. It was one of like a sitcom. It was one of the more tepid interventions. It was very much like a four walled kind of sitcom. It was absolutely stupid. I felt dumb watching it. That's how fake and cook. So here's the thing, man. You're going to need to stay at the facility for about 30 days. Oh, bummer. Might not be refunded, man. So tell me what's going on. Yeah. Get out of here. Get out of here. I don't even think he went to a rehab. This was all filmed in a single day, all the bouncing around. I think it's completely cooked. I'm not a fan of it. Lastly, lastly, lastly, lastly, Sheena Shay, being crowbarred into this episode.

I didn't even know it was the Sheena Shay when they were saying there was a friend named Sheena. So get ready for this leap of faith here. You have to believe that this girl Sheena knows Miss Orange County, who Jessie is apparently dating, and then she disclosed to Sheena, possibly a realtor now or something?

I don't know how she knows this realtor from Orange County. This realtor has said, yeah, I'm sleeping with a guy from Baywatch. And then Sheena takes that information and gives it to Michelle. Then we must believe that she's friends with Michelle, but Jesse also has Sheena's number, and they say let's call Sheena to work this out.

Complete bullshit. Quick question. Well, it's odd to me, sorry, I'm a little high right now, but it's very odd to me to refer to, one, I think you're hunting for truffles that are not there, they've not bloomed yet, but two, if we're taking this at face value and this Miss O.C. is going around, because Janet tells

Abewaka and everybody watching that she's going around saying that I've been banging the guy from Baywatch. Baywatch is a show that was on very long ago, or in her case, I think, was a movie that came out like five years ago. So what are we doing saying I'm banging the guy from Baywatch? Definitely weren't referring to that movie that no one saw. That was a big bomb. That was a big bomb-a-roo.

And the only guy. Are you talking about The Rock? Are you banging The Rock? There's only three real noticeable guys from Baywatch. There's the younger guy, he was a kid on the show, who's David Hasselhoff's son, who I assume is the person they're referring to. Oh, really?

Yes. Well, either way, it's a pathetic feather in the cap if it's being said and broadcast that often. I want realism. I want, I don't care. I'll watch Danny and Nia eat nachos at a dump in the valley and discuss how many fucking critters she wants to have and him trying to convince her to move to Santa Clarita.

I'll watch a show about that. I don't need it to be cooked. Shame on you producers, zero restraining orders. All right, thank God. You know, time out from you, okay? I know that we interjected a little bit and that would have went quicker, but you're really monopolizing the airtime. Ruby, did I move you at all?

A little bit for the rest of the season. I will have a bit of a different lens. The thing with him on the phone was, I mean, it was despicable. It was hard to watch. It was a Viva Drescher putting her leg on the table. It couldn't have been more overcooked. It was horrible, inedible. And what did a Viva say? She, I don't even remember what the sentence was that came out of her mouth. Something fake about me. If you think I'm fake, this is the only thing that's fake about me. That's fake about me. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

The context? Yeah. She's blacklisted. She was, that's a tough, I think her leg was ripped off in a some kind of farming tool farming tool I'm gonna grab a drink. Good. God is that grizzly? I mean, that's real trauma Viva Yeah, well nothing fake about her, but I this was this episode was very almost dark. Kristen Jody giving many interventions to cocaine addicts,

the children saying I love you to boyfriends and people who are not divorced yet didn't love that. Other children refusing to say I love you and hello to papa that they do, that is their papa, also didn't love that. We're in for a wonderful or really fucking sad fucking awful season. Less cooking with the boys. I the shirt Jason was wearing. I think that the that was concerning to me, Pat. So I agree with you there. Okay.

That was concerning to me, Pat. So I agree with you there. Okay. It was a Zara-like holdover for multiple scenes? It was. And it was, if you're going to do that, like Jax is on Bender, so him wearing the same thing for five and a half days, nobody really cares.

Don't wear that though, ever again, Jason. What does he do? Lawyer, parentheses. Yeah, lawyer. Because at one point, he says, my professional opinion, like, are you a therapist? Are you a psychologist? Great point.

Maybe he was talking about getting arrested for smashing a bar stool. OK. And how many restraining orders do you give it? I mean, very high. 94 restraining orders. Yeah, I'm going to, yeah. Oh, I was going to say, she, Ruby pointed this out. I didn't put it in my restraining orders. Yeah, I'm gonna yeah. I was gonna say she Ruby pointed this out.

I didn't put it in my restraining orders. Really dark episode and it really bummed me out. Yeah, did it make you sad? Well, it really lifted me. I had such a blast watching this episode, okay. Now, before you come for me, that's why we have three people. People have different opinions of the show.

I'm sure they're, go ahead, Rubes. No, no, I was saying carry on. Okay. It is very dark stuff. But I'm not gonna equate Jackson Jesse to Voldemort, right? But let's say Voldemort was on a reality TV show and his marriage was imploding, right? It would be kind of, schadenfreude, it would be kind of lovely to watch, you know, that dark wizard go through pain. If the pain is being

dealt out to Jesse and Jax, it's still dark but it's fun, you know? It's hilarious at times, like Jax saying how much is this gonna cost and throwing the phone down when he found out that it was Non-refundable if he chose to leave when he was planning on leaving. That's hilarious What it happens to Michelle Michelle made me that was that was hard to watch her but the people on this show it is a nest of demons sans Nia and Maybe Brittany It is a nest of demons, Sans, Nia, and maybe Britney. But a lot of fun, a lot of fun this show.

I'm really, really looking forward to the rest of the season because I was born in the shadows. Darkness. The dark, I was born in the do it. Can you do it? I was, I can't do it. You can't do it.

I can't do it, I gotta be in character. What, what do you mean? I gotta be talking like him for a little while. What do you like how long? Like yeah just in my car you know. Just warm up a little bit. No no I don't want to waste any time. I'll throw it in the episode somewhere. Okay sounds good. Alright excuse me. I can help us out here. Oh yeah. Everything's alright. You want a rehab? Why are you talking about? Yeah. Well we stop it at Danny and Nia's condo. They're folding clothes and Danny's still attempting to leverage living in the beautiful city of now Valencia, which not a lot of people probably know that don't live in California.

Valencia is Santa Clarita's uglier stepsister. Six Flags Magic Mountain Red Lobster. It's about it. Which, you know what? A lot of towns don't have that much going for them. Six Flags is one of the greatest amusement parks on this planet Earth. So I'd be there all the time if I lived in Valencia.

Danny won that war. Nia is currently pregnant. She got her baby. And they did move to their five-bedroom house in Santa Clarita. So cheers. That's compromise. I can hear the roller coasters.

Go ahead. All right, then we visit, I believe, Jesse, but then jump in the car with Michelle, with beautiful Isabella. Talk about making horrible life choices. Ruby, I believe you touched on this. I want to say her new boyfriend and Isabella are saying, I love you to each other. I want to say that too.

Okay. Well, let me tell you something. She shouldn't even know this dude exists if you're a fucking good parent. Michelle. Bad hosting. Did I miss that? They they said I love you in front of the child The child said I love you to her new boyfriend Oh, okay. That is much better than her saying. I love you to him in front of No, Dylan. What you're not supposed to Dylan. We don't even know if this guy's gonna stick around. How old is he?

He's in his 30s and she did just I mean, I mean, how old is the child? Isabella's what? Five, six? Listen, it's definitely dark, but they say stuff. The kids just say Dylan, you can't be a kid to have guys to keep walking through this fucking house. Or snot. I understand that. I understand that. Can I can I just say something about this only to give Aaron

some credit or I guess Michelle on the after show, Jesse did bitchy, bitchy, awful, horrific. Jesse said that he was like, I know that Michelle's a good mother and Aaron's not a bad guy. So in his house, like she likes her setup. He wanted him to send he like videos and stuff. He wanted to come over and see the setup. And Michelle was like, fuck you, absolutely not. And Erin was like, she doesn't feel comfortable with that. So sorry, dude, like no. And I think that Jesse seems to not hate him, which means maybe even though Jesse knows

that she was fucking him while they were married, I think maybe he might stick around, hopefully for this child's sake, because she just moved into his home. Yeah, yeah. I don't know. I still think it's too soon. It is too soon. It's a big step. But we kick things off in Studio City where the old First Republic used to be before Jamie Dimon and his rat fucks ran, you know, to, you know, did a run on the bank. I'm not saying that First Republic was

being responsible, but I do miss the free ATM fee, you know, I mean, it's just. Here's what I'll say. Here's what I'll say. Rat box were more irresponsible than First Republic was, was the best fucking thing this country has ever seen. And Jamie Dimon is a criminal. Their cookies were incredible.

And he should, I mean, I'm just leaving it. Their cookies were incredible. Okay. We don't want any Jamie Dimon fans coming at us with pitchforks, OK? But we bounce around and land on Breakfast Casserole at Janet's house. Who's the one that was on The Bachelor? Jasmine.

Jasmine. Yeah, the one that says that. The Chokies. Oh, you want to? Can I choke you? No. Oh, come on. Maybe a little?

Can I only choke you? My room will. That was like one of the last times we saw somebody like legitimately blacked out on The Bachelor. Right. Yeah, that was awesome. Thank you for your service, Jasmine. Oh, I was going to say Corinne Olympias.

No, Jasmine. I don't think she was that drunk. Go back. She was wasted. Was she really? Okay. Well, anyway, she thinks that casserole is white people food. She's incorrect there. Well, rice that casserole is white people food. She's incorrect there. Well, ice crispy treats are white people. Well, I was going to say to

our you know, our PSE is getting the comments. Let us know is casserole white people food? I don't think it is. I think it might be white crispy treats and bologna. No, I think like old white people make casserole for people. I think it might be a white people thing. I don't know. It might be a white people thing. I had a neighbor knock at my door and offer me a gift as a new neighbor and it was tuna casserole. That's disgusting.

That is disgusting. No. Tea sandwiches are white people shit. Cucumber and cream cheese with a crust cut off? Well that's like Britain shit. Let me clear my throat. Okay, all right. So Janet regurgitates the combo with Kristin and frames it, I'm torn with Janet

because what she went through is really, really horrible, but I also think that she might be a demon. She reframes and rejiggers this whole conversation super disingenuously. She says that she was apologetic for lumping Kristen in to the Zach stuff and says that she told Kristen that she didn't feel like she was supportive of her pregnancy.

That wasn't the accusation you made. It was a much bigger accusation that you made. I'd say it's a lie. Yeah. You said that she didn't care if your baby died. That's right. That's a little over the top. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's different. And who knows? Maybe it's true. But I don't think it is. No, no. I don't think so.. No, no. No, I don't think so. Because I believe the clip where she says, and I quote, wanted my pregnancy to go to full term and wanted me to have a healthy child.

And I'm pretty certain that is not what Kristin and Zach wanted. And in her accounting, she said, I think I said they were not supportive of my pregnancy or something. And she just didn't think that. And it's like, oh, oh, but Janet, demonic liar. Wait, wait, wait.

What? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Kristin actually did not want that at all because she had been through fertility struggles and that's a really gross thing to say from Janet. Okay. Um, Ruby was going to add something. Yeah. What Zach said, horrific.

I am very, very sorry for any impact that that had on Janet. I'm sure that was horrible and that's unacceptable. What did Lego head say? Just, he was screaming at her in the bar and she was like, don't yell at a pregnant woman. And he literally said, I don't care. Like, well, it was, it was dark. He, Michelle is screaming at him and she, and he said, she says, if you scream at her like that, and Zach says she can like go into labor and, and Michelle says, lose her baby. And he says, I don't care. and it's unclear if he's continuing his own thought or responding to hers Either way, I don't think he gave a shit and I think that's an it's inexcusable

Well, I thought that she said her water could break and he said I don't care I don't know either way when you're pregnant I'm I can't imagine the anxiety and the nervousness you have around the the baby's health. So gross stuff Looks like Jack's flew off the handle again you have around the baby's health. So gross stuff. Looks like Jax flew off the handle again. But I think we're actually talking about the same incident where we go back. That's right. He says that he was like the Russian in Rocky IV.

Drago. Drago. So last week it was framed as a table lift, maybe a knocked over chair. It sounds like he went full drawgo. It sounds like he picked up the chair, slammed it on the ground, punched a hole in the wall and hurt Brittany in the process. And listen, when you're shnifed out of your mind and you've been banging runaways for 72 hours straight, the veins in your eyes are almost outside

of your face. You know, you could really do some ideas. A lot of horrible things happen when people are coming down from drugs. Well, Kristen Doty visits Jack's house, which is, this is odd too, because this is Brittany's house and she's just walking in. Yeah. Well, well, Pat, can I say something? And your parent, Dylan, you're about to be a parent. Your parent? And, nope, thankfully, nope. And we are children of divorce.

Men who stay in the marital home like this, when they're the ones who have essentially abused their wife and their child has to leave. I find it hard for me to accept him being breathing now. Oh, dude. Jax is up there with one of the most, and I understand he's going through addiction, right? We're very, very sympathetic to that kind of thing.

But he is one of the most disgusting human beings on reality television. I mean, you could, you know, I do firmly believe that he left all that stuff around the house so that she could find it. I do firmly believe that he left all that stuff around the house so that she could find it I do firmly believe that when they were discussing who was gonna leave and who was gonna stay He said I pay the mortgage even though she pays for everything else and probably more than he pays I know he brought that up and that's why he stayed

He is a just a ruinous human being. Well, the crazy part of this is, and this is why he is truly a horrible person, I can sum it up in one second, your kid, where your kid lives, should be stable at the house they're used to, not bouncing them around from Airbnb to Airbnb. He is a despicable human being. Yeah. Oh my gosh, I didn't even think about that. That is so disgusting. And one of the like overarching themes with the two men that are having problems on the show babies. Just babies.

Fucking babies. Hey, Pat, I think maybe at some point in this season you could bring back some wands for us because they're such babies. Oh my god, dude. Like be a fucking man. Your child is used to this place. Leave. And then we've got the what about me shit. He's a baby. Baby.

Where nobody cares about. You have a Jax, you call Brittany fat and ugly. Well, I called her on. No, no, no, no. I love women that look like her. I love women that look like her. So one, he said that, right? So one, he said that.

Two, he also said all of the other things. And Kristen's like, you've texted me those things. Now, Jack says that he knows that he's hit rock bottom when Kristen Doty comes over before noon. And this is mentioned later on in the episode, but I wrote it here that Jack's is, he may be close to rock bottom, but he is not there yet. No, no, no, no. No, but he's got a couple floors to go, I'd say.

Good God. Okay, so such a good song that open that show. Let's get to the Sherman Oaks rental where cruises and so is Brittany and so is Zach. And a goddamn branded sweater like dude, take it off for filming a show He brings her over Chinese gets a little pickish eats a little bit in the car I gotta say, you know, I've been there we've all been there right Chinese is hard to Get through what I drive through food. No, it's not french fries. No, it's chow mein one

I think that the knots on takeout are some unholy skill that I have not figured out. It feels like magic to me because I cannot open the knots. So one, you have to get through that. Then you have to get through the containers of the Chinese. It's very saucy. Zach was really peckish. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. So- I want to just point something out that I believe that the producers showed when he walked in and Cruz like comes over to him and does that very cute little like hello, in direct contrast to later when Cruz refuses to say hello to his own father and cowers in the foreign cries. I think that's why they showed us that. Ah, interesting.

I agree with that. I needed a quick stand. Now, as soon as Lego head enters, Brittany points out that Jackson already texted her earlier in the day, and he wants to see his son. OK. That's so nice. So this is a little bit like an A24 movie, right? It's just one day, right?

OK. So Zach shacked up with an undocumented immigrant. So I'm thinking, you know. Well, he's married though, so technically he should be able to get to stay here, right? But he's getting divorced, so he's being deported. Yeah, he's being deported to Canada. Benji. Yeah, Benji.

And Zach is another baby, but we'll forgive him because of the haircut. Go ahead, Rubes. No, no, we won't and and what I will say is I'm happy. He's happy I don't think I can do this much him ever no no no too much Zach when we get to the scene of him Face-timing I you know I have like I don't want to be rude to Zach but Listen It's either yes or no. And we've seen enough Zach to know now no.

Color's fine, but no. Here's the thing about Zach, he's actually friends with Brittany. My understanding is he's been around for like 10 years. So organically it works, it's just we need less of Lego head. Yeah, and also like I get that we're trying to do like a tug at your heartstrings like No story of deportation and stuff like that. But no, one no and also two he's going back to Canada like, okay, we're not talking about you marry him, Zack. Yeah. So anyways, we

So anyways, we, you know, when his boyfriend was gonna go back to Canada because of whatever, it struck me, it reminded me a little bit of Reba not making the flight, like maybe, oh, you know what, I gotta go back, you know, this is, they're gonna round me up. Oh, you know what I mean? Trying to get away from Lego head. You want to know how this ends, by the way, or how they are currently? So now he went back to Canada, and he has an education vacation visa.

And so a vacation visa. So he just comes here whenever he wants, and then leaves, and then comes back. And Zach said they're going to do that until they can figure out what they want to do. Oh, cool. Fun. All right, let's get to Jesse and Michelle.

This was a buzzsaw. I love her walking in saying, water if you have it. It just starts off like, we're really corleone-ing this thing. And there is just a knuckleball of hatred here. So Pat, I don't know where you want to start with this but. All right. Well, there the premise of this meetup is to discuss the schedule. Yeah, joint custody.

Yeah. And he wants to keep the schedule as it is. And then she reminds him, Hey, you're out of town a lot. And well, I want to end he like pushed back. No, but I want to keep the schedule, you know, even if, you know, I'm not around, she can just be dropped off to her nanny that she doesn't know, which makes zero sense. Jessie is, and we'll get into the specifics, I do want to say really beautiful color coordinated calendar. Again, one of these things that I'm sure

she's very triggered by, doing all of the unnecessary things all the way, like don't need you to get the ruler out and all of the highlighters. Let's just be a parent, right? We could just text this. Yeah, it seems like this manic show. It's just so weird I thought about it, but they do have to have these two idiots in the room filming I guess because this would be done over. Yeah. Well, this is where like the big baby thing comes into play Jesse Thanksgiving and Kwiff me's yeah This is where like the big baby thing comes into play. We know it. I don't want to be left alone for Thanksgiving and Kwismas.

Look at you, you fucking demon. You deserve coal in your sock every year until you die, you monster. Am I right? And the show's a nasty show, so we get a little nasty on the show. So, okay. nasty on the show. So okay, Jesse is saying that she's accusing him of being lackluster as a parent. And he says that that is not true. But that he is struggling with balancing being a father, his work and his personal life. Okay, which is a euphemism for bad dad. Yeah, that's bad.

Sounds like it's like really true. Actually, like you said, the whole thing is true. Michelle is really brutal to Jesse. And I think that Michelle Michelle probably cheated on him. I mean, this thing's happened when you find out that you're married to somebody that you think is one of the most disgusting people you've ever met. How unlucky is that? But I am rooting for Michelle 150% in this battle or choosing the lesser evil. Fine. I just I think she's problematic as well. Yeah totally. But right out of

the gate here we want to talk about bad life choices. We learned Isabella has noticed that daddy's already having sleepovers. I mean that 99 bad life choices. Right. That was insane to me. How long have they been separated? How long have they been separated? Well, more importantly, he had been dating that girl for a week when she did that. So, so that's, if you have someone that you're committed to for like a year and you're separated and getting divorced, I'm okay with your child meeting that person. It's a very serious relationship. If you're fucking a blonde girl from a fucking different county for a week and she sleeps

in your bed and your daughter also, why was she in your bed in the morning? Get the fuck up you piece of shit. Why were you so you go? Yeah. Okay. Okay. So if you're dating somebody for a year and listen, everybody does things differently, but I think that there's kind of an objective, responsible way to go about these things.

Meeting is different than seeing in bed. That's right. Very. Completely different thing. Like, let's kind of, yeah, we're making a custard, right? We don't want to scramble the eggs, right? Let's- In front of a small child.

Not in front of a small child. Be scarred for life. Yeah. All right, so at this point, he accuses her of cheating, which comes out of nowhere. And then she basically says, well, you know what? That girl you're dating, Miss Orange County, she's fucking around on you.

And they go back and forth. And they go, oh, well, Sheena knows. She can corroborate this. And I'm thinking, who's this Sheena character? How could you have possibly thought that? Because it makes no rational sense to anybody, even watching this show how she's being crowbarred into this I think it was I I don't think you wanted to be

hurt I don't think that you wanted to be hurt I don't think you wanted to be disappointed so there was something in your brain that was like no no it's not her I'm telling her it was after she was talking and by the way she's quick on her feet she's like yeah yeah she's banging some guy from Baywatch from Baywatch Oh, wow. He's like, okay. Thanks, Sheena. Yeah All right, but he ends with Crying talking about the holidays and I

Understand that what he's going through is tough I understand that what he's going through is tough. I'm not saying that men can't express their emotions when they're dealing with this. This is a very, very sad thing. When you weaponize the emotions, even the slightest, we're done giving you credit because now you're in, and when you weaponize it as often as these two do, you're really not getting any credit, okay?

Cause it's different than just showing emotion. All right, let's get to the intervention. Before we do, I just wanna touch on a couple of things. I really, really, really, the lack of fathering to these fucking children, these women, I don't know how they're not in jail for murder. And I mean murder, both of them. Jack's, and Jesse dead if I'm your wife, this is a cautionary tale. And I'm being

so serious. And I'm thinking about the Ryan who's just like really gentle and hopefully one day he doesn't snap and murder me. Be very careful who you have children with because you have to deal with them for forever, no matter what. And Jesse Lolly, Michelle, call Quentin Tarantino, get a shark of a lawyer and say, these are my demands. And if you have a problem with it, see you in court. A mediator?

Oh, no, no, no, no more Zach, no more mediators. Get to court and that's it. I'm with Rubes. I am too. I'm with Rubes. Okay, intervention. Yeah. Danny and Jason just show up despite not really even being friends with Jacks. He hates them. Hey bud, we're just checking in on you. We just want to make sure you're doing okay. Yeah. Thanks for coming over. I got to take this call from a robot. Yeah. Get the fuck out of here. Time to go guys. Get out. This scene. I got to take this. Yeah.

He said it four times for, I got to take this. Sorry guys. I got to take, they're leaving his house. Sorry. I got to take this. They can't hear you anymore. Jax. They know. So what's going on? Do treatment specialists say, so what's going on? No, I don't think so. Yeah. It's going on now? I don't think so. Yeah It's gonna be 30 grand. Hey, so heard you're going through whatever let's talk about finances

like What fucking page or PA was typing into grok? And next time next time just call a real facility. Yeah, really do it. Call a facility, you don't have to record it, just talk to them and then write it down. That's right and then do another voiceover. Don't do what you did here. But yeah, it's amazing to see the the markers of failure before we even get to the facility, right? So It's really crazy to me And when you're in the throes of serious addiction, there's a lot of bizarre behaviors afoot so

everything that Jack says And again never been there. I know that there are this is a nuanced thing not everybody behaves the same, but Any addiction specialist people want to get in the comments, let us know. If you're saying, what if I don't make the 30 days, not a great sign, though I think that's a normal thing. A lot of people don't think they can do it the whole time. But towards the end of the episode,

when he says, I'm doing this for my son. That's not a great It's honorable, but it's usually not a good indication that this has a lot of staying power I think you want to like don't you maybe i'm being too critical But I think you probably want to do it because like you know, you have to yeah, I don't know that jacks I mean, how's he doing now with the whole Coke stuff? He's got a podcast. Yeah. In the mind of a man. Is he doing Coke before the show? It's like, where are we at with his rehabilitation journey? Allegedly, he is not and he's sober-ish. What this, this to me, I don't think he wanted

to miss 30 days of filming. Oh, yeah. And I think that he frames this as, Brittany's gonna take him from me if I don't go to court ordered rehab, I think. So he's just doing this as like, I don't actually have a problem. I know you do, you're violently addicted to cocaine. Yeah, yeah. I have to tell you,

I don't know how big his other podcast was with her. I know they finally split apart. She got to keep the reality is. Do you listen to that podcast Ruby? I think I asked you that. When reality hits. That's what I meant. Sorry.

She said last week when they were, yeah, there was tension. It was fun. Okay. In the mind of a man by Jacks, he only has 122 reviews, a 3.2 score. No one's listening to this. Yeah, we did this last episode. He's struggling a little bit with the reviews, but that's fine, he just started, okay?

We've been at review stand stills, you know, it happens. Not really. Okay. I mean, he should have like 2,000 reviews if anybody's listening to this thing. Boy, he's getting some help. The producer of the show, Alec Baskin, was a guest on Oh, that's cool. Last week's episode. And he also had Emily Morse. We used to,

she's the sex therapist. Oh, cool. Yeah, that's great. If Jax had broken into several homes and stolen from people and lied about it and like ruined a high school graduation, I would say, like, go leave him a five star review. Like I would give him more grace than I, he has zero grace from me. I understand that he's very sick right now. And Dylan has said like, this is very nuanced. I thankfully have never experienced this.

I also think that a lot of this behavior that we're hearing isn't necessarily having to do with cocaine over the last 10 years. You know what I mean? He's disgusting. I'm with her. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a layer cake of bad.

But speaking of things that are actually good, Mommy's Day, Mommy's Day is so great if you've got a good relationship with your mother, things are going well and all the, you know, everybody's, it's a beautiful day. And you know what can make that day even better? Tell us, Dylan. Story Worth.

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and the answers you get back are pretty hilarious. You know, you go, please let's be honest with one another. Tell me some good stuff. Let's make it juicy, right? They're great questions. They email them to them and the parents, it doesn't have to be your parents, it can be anybody you send it to, respond back with either like a voice message or they type it out and then Storyworth takes it and starts compiling it to make a book out of it. Like I sent mom, do you ever get into trouble in school?

And she was like, yeah, there's a chapter of the IRA that was kind of bubbling up in Queens so we did a couple of, you know, seedy things, we got pulled in and it's a great story. And I can put it in the book and it really turned it into a keepsake. Okay? story and I can put it in the book and it really turned it into a keepsake. Okay, so you can do this for a while and after the questions are answered, Storyworth compiles your loved one's stories and photos into a beautiful keepsake hardcover book that you'll be able to share and revisit for generations to come. I mean, think about, you know, when we're long gone,

these stories will remain. Dill, I already have it in the works. I sent out a few questions out to all my ex-girlfriends. And one of the main questions was, how was it dating Pat? Those are all going to be archived in this book. I'm going to hand them to my son and say, don't act like dad. Don't act like dad did. I mean, look at that. Story Worth can teach you how to be a good man.

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That's storyworth.com slash bad TV to save $10 on your first purchase when you go to story worth comm slash bad TV that's story worth dot com slash bad TV to save $10 on your first purchase seriously guys. It's a really cool company and try it out if you want to support us and What your beak with a beautiful gift go to story worth comm slash bad TV. Alright, let's get to the twinsie lunch margaritas extra extra die martini There's that drink again was this on the 30 30 on the 30 on the 30 okay Sherman Oaks on Ventura Boulevard dill little history with this place I asked my lovely wife to marry me up at a lookout point on Mulholland Drive okay I tricked her into come up coming up there thinking

that she was bringing me oil because my car had broken down. Oh, that's so cute. And I had my friend D-Rock hidden in the bushes. Yeah. And she came and drove up and parked her car. I went down on one knee and D-Rock filmed the entire thing. Oh, that's cute. And as we were kind of deciding what we're gonna do with the rest of the day, we were gonna enjoy a meal with each other. Yeah. And he chimed in and D-Rock and said, how about on the 30? And I said, that's a great recommendation. Thanks to you, rock. And he said, I'll meet you down there. No. So D rock, uh, the guy who filmed our engagement, engagement also joined us for our after engagement meal on the 30.

She said that when we were laughing about this, as we watched the episode, she goes, you know what else you did to me motherfucker? The day we got married, we went and did a podcast with Dylan and Nick, which we did. We got married at the Beverly Hills courthouse. Four hours later, I went to the Corolla studios and we did a recap on The Bachelor. It was one of our funnier episodes. It's just unbelievable. Just unbelievable. I got to turn the

AC on. I'm so... Okay. Ruby, you seem- Oh, I thought he was saying it was unbelievable that your wife didn't leave you that day and say, never mind. All right. You and all that. She puts up a lot of bullshit, but old Patty's a great husband and father. So. Unlike Jax and Jesse.

Exactly. So good for you, Pat. She hit the lottery. All right. So Britt, Michelle and Janet, they all meet up there. Britt shows a pic of that thong on the bathroom counter she hit the lottery but you're a little bit of a pushover you put you put her in positions where she has to either be a massive B or you got to step up and go actually no you can't hmm was that Ruby and was that too much I think it's just marriage well anyway Michelle shares that yeah sorry that's okay okay she Was that too much? I think it's just marriage.

Well, anyway, Michelle shares that. Hey, Pat. Yeah. Sorry. That's OK. She shares that Miss Orange County threatened to sue her about talking a little smack, like a little defamation suit, I believe. Yeah, and this actually made me mad at Pat again all over,

because we constantly try to, oh, no, we're not at the, this is the allegedly part, right? This is, I think, yes, this is the allegedly part. Okay, that is a powerful word. Very powerful. In defamatory cases, libelous cases, and Pat constantly tries to eschew me and Ruby attempting to shoehorn that magical shield into the show.

Whoa, so Pat will say something like, he's a drunk and he's embezzled a bunch of money, and we say allegedly, and Pat says, no, I know it. The DeBros allegedly. Liars. Yeah. Everyone that works for them can't stand them. Allegedly. Yeah. Allegedly. But no, everyone does really hate them. Seriously. Everyone that's ever worked for them hates their guts.

No, allegedly. Alleg allegedly. I hate them. Yeah, I Love Brittany's lightness with the whole thing. You can tell that Brittany still cares for Jack's but that she's like she's seeing a life without him and I feel like she's actually pretty I pretty strong throughout this, this just nightmare of a situation that she's going through. She's laughing about him.

And what's going on with him is very, very dark. So kudos to Brit. Mammal! Okay. We talk about the, the word word allegedly and then Michelle starts crying This is this was brutal to see because she she is just facing a barrage of emotional grenades from this little baby Poor girl. I'd love to get in her head and like if she's thinking like god

I hope this motherfucker dies. Well Ruby said that she would kill him and I do think that there is a Chance that Michelle does kill him if they do think that there is a chance that Michelle does kill him. If anybody could poison somebody, I think, you know, Michelle. Michelle and Putin, probably top of my list, yeah. Well, Janet invites everybody to a Dave and Buster's party. Yeah, that's gonna be- So valley.

I assume this will be in the next episode. We didn't get there, but- Yeah, we used to do DMV parties, I think think 26 probably 26 years old. Yeah, that was fun. All right, so and D&B is fun. Sure. I love a good arcade. Same. Yeah. These people are 40. Well, it's still you know, I love a good arcade. I mean, the Jurassic Park game is really, I mean, it's an unprecedented experience in an arcade. Oh, play, play Skeeball and then try to only play it once. Yeah. I love Skeeball.

Yeah. No, Skeeball is just the best because the hundred calls to you, right? It's a, it's a ring of power. You, you are constantly beckoned by its small chance, but the main way to do it is to just play conservative. If I had more room in this studio, I was going to add a ski ball. Ski balls would take up quite a bit of space. Oh, take up half the room. Yeah, no, they're 20 feet long.

Amazing game. All right, so we get to Zach's place. Let's not. We get to the golf carts of it all. I do want to say this about Zach's place. let's not. We get to the golf carts of it all. I do want to say this about Zach's place. It's filthy. Gay guys are supposed to have really clean apartments. This one's gross.

It also has an air conditioning unit behind him. This bedroom, this apartment is probably still $3,600 a month. Yeah, I mean, we've got two wall units in our place. You pay $4,000 a month, don't you? Well, we don't need to get into what I pay per month, you know. But it's too much. That's right. I'll tell you that.

Well, I'll tell you what else we don't need. And that's more of this ever again. Fair enough. Yeah, fair enough. Let's get to the golf carts of it all. Dad shows up after mom sees the destruction of her home and Looks like Jack's had a quick bang before going into rehab for 30 days You know yeah, right?

It was it was Jack's going you know, I'm gonna I'm gonna go to rehab for You know, maybe 72 hours. I'm not gonna be able to bang anybody so I got to get one in quick. It's hard to get blow in rehab too. Yep pretty pretty tough so yeah good luck. Anyways, Jax's behavior throughout this entire ordeal is really really haunting if you've ever dealt with anybody who has addiction problems, the deflection, the emotional manipulation, the warping of reality. It's all just like, poor Brittany having to contend with this is really, really difficult. You can see it. It's like a perfect example is she goes, we agreed that we weren't, you weren't going to have sex. we weren't you weren't gonna have sex we weren't gonna have sex here and he says in response to this his repost is that I banged her at her place like two days ago which the crazy thing about it is one that he said it but two

that he's convinced that makes sense that that makes sense and that that's why he said it. He is He's on coke now and he has his son because he might have Herpes that's right. That was great. They accuse each other of doing blow. Clearly. We know who does the blow. Yeah Cruz and then Jason arrives for some reason. Yeah, Jason's there to give his Yeah, Jason's there to give his professional opinion. And drive him to- You are being absurd. He was always gonna get,

I think Jason was always gonna be the one that drove Jax to rehab. It could never be Britney. He was, the way that he, and again, I'm sorry. He is sick and I know that. That being said, apparently he's sober now and I've seen a lot of things since he has been sober, still fucking hate the guy so I feel very comfortable with my vitriol to him. When he says to Brittany in response like, were you with Julie in that last night? Huh? Huh? And she's just

like, no, I was not. When he says you ruined my life and she's like, Okay, yes, I did. It was me. I did. I was just like, sorry, Alex Baskin. We all go to jail. I don't know. Okay, we'll bleep it. Oh, no. Oh, no, I'll bleep it. I'll bleep it. Can't talk like that. Here's what I want. I want the show to get a little lighter. If I hope Zach Ajax I want Jax off the show. I think he needs to go to rehab for a little while. Oh yeah. Even if he's just held up in a hotel or something,

pretending to be in rehab. Yeah. I want to get back to the couples that I'm more interested in. Another amazing example of Jack's is deflection and gaslighting. One of the most pathetic straw man arguments I've ever seen in my entire life.

She says you have a coke problem. And he says, so you're saying that you've never done coke. What, what is going on? It's like dumb, dumb addict rage manipulation is crazy to watch. And you have to say Brittany's response to that when she was like, no, that's not what I'm saying. If I took a drug test right now, I'd pass. And you have to say, Brittany's response to that when she was like, no, that's not what I'm saying. If I took a drug test right now, I'd pass. Would you? Oh, great. Come upstairs. And he goes, you're bad. I can't even do this. Turn the cameras off. Stop the cameras off. This is very dark. But like I said, it's happening to Jack. So it's kind of fun. Um, Robs. One thing to say, it's kind of

fun and a little bit late. And I learned this on the after show, Jason said, he was like, when I was driving him, I was like, is there anything you need me to do? And he was like, I need you to do one thing for me. And he apparently Jack sells like merch things that they get for free on eBay. And he was like, I need you to like go to the post office and send a lipstick.

And he was like, okay, I got you. And he did. Good for Jason. Wow. Yeah, that drive must have been uncomfortable Five stars kind words get in there. We love to Read the reviews Pat pitch the rest of the stuff we have going on while I pull up a review We have summer house. I think we're kind of wrapping that up on patreon.com slash another podcast

Of course, we have below deck one of the best seasons ever. Below Deck, Dananda, season three. I think there's like still a half a season to go there. And then I guess we're gonna have to figure out what our next show is gonna be. We're gonna have to fill that void somehow. Wow, this is a crazy review from RogueJSL. Okay. 97 pots, five stars. Oh okay. I can find a bad one if you want. Oh no, that's okay. All right, let's go with a good one. 97 pots, five stars. Oh, okay. You got me a little worried there. I can find a bad one if you want. Oh, no, that's okay. All right. Let's go with a good one. The podcast, this podcast is for the intelligent and sardonic. Wow. Love that. It's true laugh out loud, which is rare for me,

having also survived being hung off a bridge. But it's not for the faint hearted or those who are burdened with being overly literal. Wow. That was beautiful. Yeah, that was beautiful. Wow. So many reviews. We got to thank you guys so much, but keep it moving. We want to keep that juice. Keep it flowing. Help us out. Yeah. Yeah. You know what coffee was for me, Dylan? I used to squeeze rotted fruit by backyard into a cup that was my coffee. He's got to have Millennials. One of the most bizarre characters Pats ever played just slipped into something. I used to have to duct tape shoes to my shoes, walk six miles in the

cold. I didn't even know what coffee was. Patreon.com slash another podcast network. Summer House, we just did the meet up with the fans. We're going to do another one soon. But they mentioned, and I was shocked, that we really need to go back to the VH1 of it all. So Flavor of Love, Rock of Love, that may be coming to Patreon sooner than later. I want a commitment out of like, I need like to do a poll to see if like two or three hundred people are Into that yeah, I think I think you'll be surprised. Okay. I think it's some of our finest work Follow Ruby substack gangs in New York follow us on Instagram, and we love you have a happy weekend I'm Dylan saying goodbye Pat say goodbye later dude Ruby Street. Side your head on every beat. And the beat's so right.