Another Below Deck Podcast - The Beach Olympics | Below Deck Med S9 E4

Episode Date: June 25, 2024

Dylan and Pat are back to break down what it means to set up the long jump, Omarosa's bad edit, restaurants that are sad and more from Bravo's Below Deck.Ad Free and Uncensored at Patreon.com/AnotherPodcastNetworkYoutube at https://www.youtube.com/@anotherbelowdeckpodcast_Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/badtvpodcast/Facebook Group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/anotherbelowdeckpodcast

They can be taken down by bad edit. I mean look at somebody like Omarosa. Yes, you know clearly got a bad at it Clearly got a bad at it 14 times No, I believe she's actually a horrible person yeah, yeah, yeah What was she like a health secretary or something? I think so You want to hear a funny thing this when I was politics. The phone call to her to President Trump at the time after learning she got fired they patch her through because she wanted to set her up. Yeah. I'm so sorry to hear that you got fired. Hi, hello and how are you? It's another Below Deck Podcast.

My name is Dylan and that is Pat. Permission to come aboard. Granted. Dude, what's up? Nothing. Dude, you know, you and I just spoke to the loveliest woman, the Balkan Biscuit herself, Ellie. Just a lovely interview about perspective, about...

How you approach life as a happier person. Yeah, you know, I got to adjust mine too. I'll be one of the vamp while you're doing that. Yeah. Yeah. I really enjoy talking to her because you don't see it that often. I haven't heard her actually, you know what? She does talk some massive shit about coworkers.

So she, she can get in the mud a little bit but her perspective on overall life and how you should. Hey, hey, hey, who doesn't love mud every once in a while? That's true. You know what? I don't trust a person that won't talk a little shit. Ugh, I can't stand it. I cannot stand it. It drives me nuts when people won't go there with you. It's like, what are we doing? We're not fucking selling him out to the SS. We're just talking about how he's fucking late all the time. Yeah, Nathan has bad breath. You don't get what's up. What the fuck? Come bad breath you know what's the fuck come on you know I got

to tell you man it is a marvel that I am here right now because daddy just got Diablo I know many of you have said that I need to get dragon dragon stagma too I will get around to it but daddy's got got Diablo 4 now and like that weed talk or something. He's so stupid fuck No, it's a I'm doing a I'm doing a druid build right now big big guys plays kind of tanky his name's oak So that's been a lot of fun. But like I said, it's a miracle that I showed up here today Oh good, but we are here and we are here to talk about Below Deck. Mm-hmm. Dude. Yes. I had so much fun with this episode. Wow that's refreshing. Yes it was it was an 88 pod episode it was quintessential

incompetence thrust upon the wealthy and it's not even a wealthy that we really like. I mean it's a wealthy that... I don't even... I don't like Gigi. I mean it's so many soliloquies about Senator Court and what not. So it was just a blast. We've got messy love triangles going. I mean Gail who loves her boyfriend is an Arrested Development character. I mean it is the funniest fucking thing how much she loves her boyfriend Oh, yeah, I thought I was at just an amazing episode 88 pots Wow, okay I liked it not as much as you did but what I thought was I love when Captain Sandy joins dinner It rarely goes well. She's like you ever see that movie the cooler. I think Alec Baldwin's in it and yeah

I know I actually When I was younger, I actually pleasured myself to Maria Bello Oh, she's very attractive so beautiful in that film. But but what a sick little puppy I was not at all I mean, it's it's just it's a film about you know depression and loneliness You know, yeah quick quick sidebar if you still got a fan of Maria Bello Check her out in History of Violence in that cheerleading outfit.

Ooh. All right, I'm sorry that I pushed us down that slope. Oh yeah, yeah, Cooler. The Cooler, it's a film where whenever someone's winning in Vegas, like they're really hot at the tables, William H. Mace, he was hired by the casino, he'd go stand next to him.

Yeah, he has a kind of like necrotic energy. He sweats bad luck. That's what Captain Sandy is to dinners. Yeah. She sits down and it's a horrific experience for all. Can I tell you thank you so much for bringing us all the way back around the... what are those places what are those places that Native Americans live at? Tribe? No. That's a grouping. Oh, yeah, yeah, no, I know what you're talking about.

The reservation. Reservation. Yeah, yeah, no reservation. Anyways, go ahead. Oh, okay, so anyway, Sandy's a cooler. And then has anybody else noticed that Sandy and Gigi, they look like sisters. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They are.

They're good buddies over there. Anyway, they look like sisters. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They are, they're good buddies over there. Anyway, I enjoyed the episode. I too enjoyed it because it is in fact, incompetence being thrust on the wealthy. Hey, thrust. Hey, oh, I cannot wait. Do you remember when the ice cream was soup next to the cake?

I mean, I can't wait to get into this this. Oh, I'd love to look at their Instagram and all the lovely pictures of those From those photos from the dinner. Yeah. Yeah, right No, but I think many fans will be delighted to hear that, you know I don't think we're we're gonna have to wade too deep into any of the Haliburton waters that we waited into last week because there's just so much meat on this bone. So let's get into the episode. Pat, where do we begin? Oh, okay. So this is a great start. So it's where we left off, clearly. Gigi's up in that bridge with her best friend and sister, Captain Sandy. And the deconstructed sponge cake seemed

like a fancy little title for a mistake. And I agree with that. And the eggs were cold and they were cold like her right hand was during that half Folly in the first set of that fourth Grand Slam title. Yeah, who gives a shit, right? By the way, you hang out with Gigi don't ever like tell her your dog died or something like that She'll find a way to talk about tennis and how awesome she is. I don't like Gigi Dude I Keep saying that word. I've said dude like a fucking turtle from Finding Nemo made too many times already. So I'm gonna try to stop.

Well, you know what? It's a trigger for me, Dylan. I mentioned this on our other show that we do called another podcast show, which you should check out on the bad TV feed once a week. Dylan and I just talk about whatever is top of mind. You know, I thought I bitch about my friendships and mainly the last couple episodes, I talk about how my friends I'll go out to lunch with them or a happy hour. 45 minutes passes. We've had a couple cocktails. They haven't asked me a damn thing about myself. They're like Gigi. You got to talk about themselves for an hour. Do you have those friends? You got to ask people about themselves. Okay.

And that's classic Malcolm. What's his name? Greenwald? What's his name? Uh-huh. The guy that wrote all the laws that you love to use to manipulate people. Oh I forget his name but the book's called the 48 laws of power. Right yeah. Ask people about themselves you know it'll get you a long way. It absolutely does and GG doesn't do that and neither do some of my closest friends. They should have a me-off date. Yeah, the last episode of APS, if it's in the bad TV feed, you know, I felt a little, I was a little worried about it just because we... Well, you hurt my feelings. You called my friends losers.

No, that was at Patreon. Oh. And I did feel bad about that. And I texted you after. I said I was having a bad day. I don't know what's gotten into me. Mm-hmm. You know? That's OK. We all have bad days.

See how good I am? You're talking about yourself, and I'm encouraging you. OK. But no, we broke down Therians and bearded vulture Therians. And people that think they're cats. Well, people that are cats. And people that think they're cats. Well, people that are cats.

So obviously this meeting is anticlimactic and Sandy says, Hey, listen, no problem that you served, you know, rotting cold eggs to, to my Gigi. More on that at five. So yeah, we're not moving out of that conversation, are we? I was planning on. Oh, okay. All right. So you're referring to when Sandy calls, uh calls Jono up to the bridge and he doesn't attempt to spin on those cold eggs He basically says hey Sandy look I made him at 830 and because the gas got up at 1030

Clearly the eggs were gonna be cold. Hey guy guy. This guy's getting fired next episode if not the beginning of the fifth episode a guys getting fired next episode if not the beginning of the fifth episode? 100%. I want to remind the audience in episode one I predicted episode five. I think I might be right. However, not however, more talk about Joano. I want to tell Joano this. Joano, I understand your explanation and I appreciate that you're being completely transparent and honest about your horrible fuck up.

Right. But you're not a chef at a prison, right? Okay, this is a super yacht. Hey, hey, Jonah. My eggs are cold. Well, you strangled your grandmother to death while she was sleeping So eat cold eggs mother fucker. I'm a rich person and I'm paying for warming Yeah, Gigi can't go to prison for boasting about her tennis accomplishments regardless of whether or not we think she should But Jonah is one of those people that John oh, excuse me. Sorry about her tennis accomplishments, regardless of whether or not we think she should. But Jono is one of those people that... Jono, excuse me, sorry. So Jono is one of those people that they give you very transparent answers. And it's, it's, they're the markings of

someone who is not familiar with the way things are done, right? So you'll go, hey, why'd you serve rosemary, coconut, lime, chicken? Regardless of how disgusting that sounds, why did you serve chicken? He goes, well, that was the only thing that they all ate. That is such an honest answer. Now, an actual chef would make two different things, maybe three different things, three different plates,

but not Johnno. Johnno's just like, they said they were waking up at 830 Okay, that's what time I put the fucking eggs out there. All right, John has gone in an episode and a quarter no more So the Balkan biscuit continues her tutelage of cheese We prep for a beach day the Boston has to set the whole thing up and come back more on that Five o'clock. Did we pass by that quick little vignette where they were talking about perms? Oh yeah definitely. Oh you did pass over that. Okay my dad had a perm. You know I didn't really have a good relationship with my father

but I do remember. Big fat dad. That's right. It's really even otter when a dude has a perm. You know like Mr. Brady. I think season five of the Brady Bunch he had a fucking perm. He died of AIDS I think. Ah yeah he did. Mm-hmm. Well the 80s ruined people's fashion and anybody my age or a peer of mine will know that the 80s were horrible. They did two things. Padded shoulders and women's makeup made every woman look like the singer Twisted Sister. Yeah, a lot of like steamed veg too. Oh, yes a lot of steamed veg Like kohlrabi got brought out a ton in the 80s. I Wasn't a lot though. So I'm not really sure

So Asia's staring down the barrel at two dudes who are on their way to completely and utterly incompetent So Johnno wants to make food that will retain its heat from kitchen to tender utterly incompetent. So Johnno wants to make food that will retain its heat from kitchen to tender to hypodermic beach that they're gonna be setting up at, which is kind of impossible. But that wasn't the issue. You know, I was thinking as he's, you know, spouting this nonsense, as he's going, you know, I want to get it from the kitchen to the tender to the needle-riddled beach, it's going to lose its temperature. You still got to put it out. You know, I don't know what the capabilities are with this boat.

You should probably just go to the beach and cook the food. I don't know if he could do that or not, but the real thorn in the side of this beach day is Ian. And I mean, Ian is like, I mean, I find myself asking, are you on fentanyl like what is going on? Yeah well alright so I'm not sure if we are at the place where Sandy and him they do like a little meet up there to discuss that picnic setup and she informs him he will stay on the boat yeah okay because it's a safety

thing and according to Sandy safety is always paramount except for that part when those two people were allowed to float several miles out to sea On paddleboards where no one noticed, but I want to point out Sandy. This is why I mock you You know, this is why I mock you you say insane things Like that this proposal is gonna be the most boring fucking thing ever. Listen, we're happy for you. But I mean, very happy for you. So happy. I mean, who doesn't deserve love outside of, you know, sickos and, and, you know, fucking corporatists?

Right. Right. But that didn't corporates. Well you say that in a mocking way but you know they are fucking disgusting they're ruining the country. I mean I don't know why we have to get into it okay? Not all of them. All of them? Well Patrick we can have a nuanced discussion. Let me take that again. Let me try one more time. Take this again. We can have a nuanced discussion about the corporate takeover of this country off mic, okay? Okay. All right. Let's make fun of Sea Rats. And you excited for that debate? I don't plan on watching. I'm going on out to have drinks with my friends. You should so um Ian is not on fentanyl, but he is

Bad at being Abosin they I don't know what this Insistence is on games Asia is like I found out later. They put it in the preference sheet, but what are we doing? We're on vacation. We're in our 60s. Why do we need? Games all over the place? You know, one of which was the long jump, which if you're not familiar is just jumping. Yeah, that's the oldest game in mankind. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you

run and you jump. Yeah, they they set that up. The Sea Rat set up long jump and a wicked game of I spy for the ladies. All right. A couple things here. Now, do you already touched on Jonah being very nervous about the lunch picnic, whatever, you know, because he's in hot water. I mean, he could be fired at any

time, more than likely the next episode. I would argue to Jonah, let's not concern ourselves with the lunch so much as let's not prepare it in an hour and a half before you're about to serve it. I think you'll be fine. Jonah, you're gonna be fine. John, are you going to be fine? Just don't do the things you've been doing.

So Ian goes and tells the Sea Rats that they've got to come up with the games. Gail who is in love with her boyfriend says, why don't we replicate the Olympic games? And Ian tells her to shut the fuck up while he's eating. It's like you just told them that you want them to come up with the things. What is going on with this guy? Well, to be fair To gail she is the most genuine girl that thing to has ever been his entire life thing one thing one forgive me Nathan that's right. Yeah, and if her boyfriend's watching he might disagree

Yeah, well he might Who knows though? I mean we don't know the guy he could be insane I mean we don't know the guy. He could be insane. So we head to the beach and the feud is erupting. Ian has taken the come back to the boat directive as I'm gonna go suck down a DC while you guys do all the work. Porth, what is it, Porthing too and Gale are aided at some point by a street child. I mean there's a child in a speedo that chips in more than they're boasting. Let me tell you something, Dillon.

I think Forrest Gump walked less than these two did this goddamn beach thing. Well, at least there weren't hypodermic needles on the beach, but you know, it's still, that was crazy. One of the most unenjoyable experiences in the human condition, picking heavy shit up and walking a long way with it. I mean, it just sucks.

It sucks. It sucks. I had to do that quite a bit when I worked at that amusement park. So Ian is pissing off everyone and the guests are ready to go and they hit that tender very quickly. They arrive at the beach before literally anything is set up. That's crazy. But par for the course with Sea Rats. Par for the course for Sea Rats, they literally, they land and there's one chair.

Okay? But they do have long jump and volleyball with a net that is maybe three feet off the ground. If you can rest your penis on the top of something, yeah, I don't think it's regulation. Right. No, no, no, no. When a four-year-old could jump over it, it's not a volleyball. Well, and you and I can't rest our penises on anything because they're so tiny. You know, they just slip right off. That's why I love, you know, carvings of antiquity so much. I see myself in the Statue of David. Me too. The first time I went to Rome, I actually

got to see a penis that reflected my own. I was born the wrong decade. Why can't I go back then? They'd love it. Watching all the porn that I have over the years, of course, that makes you feel inferior. But I should have grown up in Rome at 500 BC. Look at me, I'm a cocksmith.

They'd call me Long Dong Patty. Yeah, yeah, calm down. Now listen, the thing with the way that the Romans had it is that they knew that, all right, so let's take somebody like Johnny Sins, right? Now he's got a sledgehammer. It's completely unbecoming for art. No Do you imagine that thing made out of cement? Yeah, I mean it's just the structural integrity would be a disaster Probably break off after a couple thousand years. I mean, it's just they had it right

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We love you much. Tropical Smoothie Cafe, let's get back to the show. Oh yes. Okay, so we have ring toss too Del, that's also from I believe the ancient Olympics in Greece. What are you looking for there? My phone. It's right in front of you, you ding-dong. Oh there it is. Okay, we have ring toss, volleyball, I don't think volleyball was in the original Olympics and then of course the volleyball. Yeah. Yeah, I was oh what?

Yeah, oh wow great. So, um, the food is ready to go and John Oh is in the hot seat. So he's a little stressed But I would be stressed too if I had to work with Ian There's an exchange here that demonstrates that being is on fentanyl John Oh says it's 214 Where are we? And Ian says it's a quarter past to. So this is pristine below deck chaos. Okay, the sea rats are just see routing all over the fucking place. One of the games is, as we mentioned, all over the fucking place. One of the games is, as we mentioned, long jumping, which is like,

it's so nuts that one of the games was run and jump. So this is what I'd do if I was a Sea Rat, a savvy Sea Rat, you know? We're all like spreading out, you know? And like, all right, who's gonna set what up? And I'll say, I'll set up the long jump. know, and like alright, who's gonna set what up and I'll say I'll set Up the long jump. Yeah. Yeah all set up round robin. That's what they should have done They should have just fucking slammed into each other

How many shoulders would have been dislocated if they had done that so We move on to the food arriving There is shade for one and a half of them and they sit down and they suck down the best meal of the Charter but as they are doing so a Such or so a mutiny is but I mean this episode had everything See, right mutinies. Oh, yeah

I mean the thing thing one and thing two and Gail who loves her boyfriend all gather and speak on what an idiot Ian is And I think we cut back to pictures of that Italian grandpa who wasn't in the mob or anything He just didn't like tattoos. Yeah, it still sucks still a zero Hey, by the way the barnacle that reached out to me privately. Yes I would like you to update the Sea Rat sad scale after each episode. We need someone to- Oh Patrick, listen, you do not have to do that. You do not have to do that.

When you feel like updating it, you can. Like, let's say somebody comes on and says, I had a tap dancing show, my dad came in and said, your mom's been hit by a bus. Go out there and get them. If that happens, if we need to bump up the scale, bump up the scale. I mean, you do have a job.

But you don't need to do it every day, I don't think. I mean, that's very labor intensive. It's once a week. But why is this grandpa on the screen? It's less than a zero. It's bizarre. It's one of those things where you're like, why are the editors doing this? Are they in dr. Seuss land what does his grandpa have

anything to do with what this man's saying once again I'm warning everybody in production and anybody that mentions this Italian grandpa grandpa unless he blew up in a car with a car bomb as a result to mafia ties yeah I don't give Well, I mean, it doesn't just have to be the mafia, you know, I mean, let's say we've got an Italian grandpa. He's not in the mafia at all. Okay, he's he's walking down some kind of street market, some kind of bizarre. And there's a a fruit vendor and he's got one of his paring knives with him and he just kills him with it well, and that grandpa was You know a mentor to one of these he read so if they told that story mob no mob I mean, that's that's at least a two

paring knife Yeah, okay. Yeah, I mean it's not a it's not a good score, but it's definitely on. It's okay. Yeah. Yeah. Sandy says, when the guests get back to the boat, she wants to transform that boat into a goddamn resort, which I'd argue is the initial intention Yeah of being on a yacht So many yellow stains Imagine so Asia does a performance review real quick Shows when it says Beach Olympics on the preference sheet. You should probably Plan that at some point Ian is talking about how good of a job He's doing and Asia calls a Greek folk dancer dancer So that's gonna be happening dinner is gazpacho and seafood pasta

And sandy will be seated at dinner this evening and because of that John whose nipples are hot. Yeah. Yeah Hey, I don't am I an inferior food pig for just describing gazpacho as a fancy word for cold soup You know my my darling mother made gazpacho over the weekend. It was delicious. But the thing about gazpacho is that it's a low-ceiling food. You know, it's just, it's cold soup. You know, I don't want cold cucumber soup. You know, even, oh, but what about on a hot day? No I don't

want that. I don't care what the temperature is outside at all just on the merits of the dish. I mean it's disgusting. Thank you. But not I mean a good gazpacho can be a seven but that's the best. Now are we at dinner deal or do we have other details that we did get to? Let me see. Let me see. Let me see. Did we talk about how we spent the same exact amount on the wars in the Middle East that Donald Rumsfeld said was missing from the Pentagon on September 10th?

I think you mentioned that the last episode. All right. So all right, so we covered that. Then no no we've got a little bit to get into so cheese seems to and I'm kidding about All that stuff. Okay, I don't yeah. It's just funny to me. That's right Okay, so cheese seems to be doing well the ladies get back from jet skis and timeshare has returned She goes down to the kitchen and he tells her what he's making again similar to chicken and cake. He says I'm gonna serve them cold wet soup and pasta. I don't know what is happening with these two course chefs. Now, we did get a dinner to round out three courses, but the night before, I mean, he served them chicken and cake. And

a lot, it happens so often on this show where, you know, the food is just not enough. You know, you were served, you know, broiled turkey and some kind of sweet thing. And then you want like a grilled cheese sandwich and the chef's like, fuck off. And it's crazy. Fuck off, and it's crazy. All right. This show has done more damage to that fucking industry. I think than anything that, the world getting colder and turning the ocean into ice would do less damage than this show has done to people.

That's what Greta's been talking about. That's right. How dare you? That's a really good Gre. Oh my god. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's so disgusting. You know, whether these people as Greta matures and she gets what what crude pieces of shit call heavies. It's like leave the girl alone. She's trying to save the planet. We're talking about her heavies. It's ridiculous. So talking about our heavies. It's ridiculous. So, and also listen, you know, I want to stop the world from being sick too, but let's not spray paint like Stonehenge and paintings that mean a lot to the world and mess up Scotty Schefsler's. It doesn't help your cause. No, I mean just talk to Gision Pink. Have a have a meeting with him and start there.

Okay, it's great point. So um dinner time share is activated very activated the gazpacho hits the table. It is a gazpacho with a plantain chip and feta. And Gigi turns into a bit of a kind of a culinary basset out. She's sniffing out the spices. All incorrect. But the question arises, where'd this recipe come from? And John says, I don't know, some fucking old woman who's

probably dead, COVID. And Sandy. I wish you went that deep. He pretty much let on. It was a Google search. Can I teach this guy says some old bitch at Donnie Cove? Now I wish he did. Oh, because this is how Patty's gonna help him. Rather than, you know, say you looked up Google, you know, for a recipe of someone who might have like, you know, been around and up Google, you know, for a recipe of someone who might've like, you know, been around and say, you, when your great grandmother died, you loved her a lot.

And then you like play music under this or something. And you're like, uh. Do you want me to do that or? Oh, no, you don't have to. Maybe the listening audience will just picture it in their head, you know. So your grandma died and then you're like, wow, she's dead.

And then you went up to her attic and you found a box and under a pile of double-sided dildos Grammy was a freak what you know what you found a book of recipes in this recipe For gazpacho was in there And that's why I'm serving it to you tonight Dylan and sometimes the details of a story are what sell the shit out of it. Okay, if I didn't put the dildo thing in there, I don't think they're buying it.

Okay. Okay, I Googled it. What story works better? Well, okay, sorry. Distracted, I, I'm distracted. I'm a little distracted, but I'm gonna try to move on. I'm gonna try to move on, okay? I Googled it.

So crazy like Yeah, there's those communities In In Florida where the elderly are just pounding away at each other's obliterating. Oh They they have to bring so much like sexually transmitted diseases medications in there, blow your fucking mind. Yeah, but I hope that like, I mean listen to you. The first time you should get herpes should be when you're 92. Absolutely, absolutely.

I'm gonna do a hot shot of heroin when I'm older. There you go. You know, feel it for the first time. Anyway, let's move on. So I don't think the I googled a bubby recipe throws the scent that you have no idea what's going on any better than secret recipe. I mean, I think a lot of people, you know, if Johnno was like, oh, it's a secret recipe and had served you chicken and cake the night before, you'd be like, okay, this guy's zero clue what's going on so um Jono is on the chopping block Ellie is

flirting with thing two and cheese is hurt now let me touch on thing two in this flirting yeah cuz she's throwing out the sexuality and I appreciate that cuz that lets you know like oh you're into me man he's no no no this was when the biscuit okay tells Joe her crazy eyes because he goes you got crazy eyes She goes you know what that means. It means I'm great in bed. Oh, wow. Yeah, I like that throwing it out there Yeah, there's some stereotypes out there that just aren't true Irish people clearly don't have issues with anger and drinking whiskey Italians don't have uncles in the mob but girls That are crazy are definitely great in bed. Yeah, yeah.

And that's one of life's kind of torturous little paradoxes. You know, and it is a stereotype. It's the best sex you ever had. The bad news is she's throwing things at you. Yeah. How'd it happen? Hey, hey, can we just calm down and have sex again? You know Everybody's been there and and and women let us know like what's this?

What is it the same way with guys are bad boys good in bed? That's right I can't imagine men are good in bed period. Mm-hmm. I Feel like women are much better in bed than men probably You know, yeah, we're not docile enough creatures. No, no, we're not we don't pay attention to detail No okay, so um, we have to get to the pasta which is a nothing short of a fucking 16 car pile up short of a fucking 16 car pileup. The dish is cacio e pepe with a jumbo shrimp on the side. So let's do this. Let's not use the thickest pasta on planet earth for this, right? It was like,

I don't know. It was like fettuccine or something yeah it was so weird how thick it was and let's pick one of the other right let's go with cacio e pepe or let's go with a fruta de mar if you want to do a seafood pasta do that if you want to do cacio e pepe do that now of course you could combine them right but you know you could combine them in the way that like you could, you know, instead of using watercolor to paint, you could use feces. I mean, you wouldn't do it, but you could do it.

Can I point something out? Dylan, remind me, in the preference sheet, did they ask for a dinner that would have multiple courses? Yeah. Okay, three is technically, that doesn't fall under- Three is a meal at Carro's, okay? Yeah, hey honey, you wanna split the mozzarella sticks? Yeah, I'll take that for course one.

Course two, I don't know, plate of seafood pasta. And then I get dessert. Yeah, so Johnno serves the kind of food that fast casual nihilistic institutions serve, right? So places where you walk in and if you're not Completely numb to the world you'll kill yourself after you leave them because it's it's the mozzarella sticks. It's the Southwest chicken egg rolls. It's the Chicken fra diavolo pasta and then of course, it's a lava cake and I love California Pizza Kitchen so back up no no no California Pizza Kitchen is I'm

thinking more you know what I shouldn't be so snobby outwardly okay they also might be a potential sponsor whoever you're gonna throw and I listen okay soup plantation oh you plant I've thought about killing myself pretty much every single time. I've walked out I get so depressed. Yeah and sizzler Was a magical place for me. It's it's where we had divorced dad lunches all the time, right? But if you go back there without the rose-colored glasses of a child who just gets to spend time with their dad It's a breeding ground for the next pandemic It's a breeding ground for the next pandemic. It's disgusting.

All right. But CPK is where you're sitting down and you look around at the other patrons. You're like, I don't want to be that person. Yeah. Yeah. It's bad. But also, you know, by that same by that same thing, like you could go to Wolfgang Puck's restaurants and look across I don't want to be that dick. Yeah, right, but in a different way in a different way. He's got money You know this person's poor So

The dinner is disgusting and we get a cool history on The dinner is disgusting and we get a cool history on Gigi's tennis career where she met the king and queen of Spain from afar. Was this when she was almost thrown up at that seafood meal too? She kept going, yeah, I mean I don't know how anybody could have kept that down. So Gail loves her boyfriend but is falling in love with thing one. The girl is a hopeless romantic. She's also genuine Gail loves her boyfriend, but is falling in love with thing one. The girl is a hopeless romantic. She's also genuine Gail. Yeah, genuine Gail.

GG. So Jono is losing it. He says the dessert is ready. It is absolutely not. Ellie walks into the galley and he says, oh, you. I mean, he's a dreidel right now. So those little round cakes are hockey pucks. Hockey pucks. Hockey pucks. The dessert is overcooked. It's overcooked lava cake with wet ice cream that he forgot

he had. One of the guests describes the dish as interesting. I don't know enough about baking, but what's inside the lava cake is not the same... it doesn't have the same kind of like structure of flour as the rest of the cake does. So if you over bake that, it turns into something that not only is the cake disgusting, but the inside is interesting. So, two pots. But fear not, all will be fixed with a couple of gypsies playing cobblestone songs above deck. Yeah, I was gonna say though,

back to that description of dinner as interesting. Can you imagine someone critiquing you? In bed? After sex. Yeah. Interesting. Yeah, yeah, and if they say it like say like sing good or interesting I have braces. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, you said it like Cruella DeVille a little bit. Who's that?

Sorry, how is that from I don't follow that Disney horse shit Isn't that the girl that has two colors hair you don't follow the Disney horse yet? Is that what you said? That's right. That's right Oh, do you mean the films that kind of cemented Disney's legacy that they've gone on to ruin with your franchise that nobody gives a shit about Referring to Star Wars. Yeah. Yeah, yeah accolades pretty good Uh-huh. I bet it's interesting 101 Dalmatians is not Lion King, but's it's you know it's an important film. Oh I'm sure Elliot will check it out. It's the right age four years old. Well I mean it's a little brutal. Deranged old woman wants to slaughter

over a hundred puppies. We were watching Marvel or Miss Marvel what's it yeah and we're ten minutes in so I don't like this this Ellie. Yeah. Yeah, so it's too violent Yeah, who needs fucking Siskel and Ebert when you've got Ellie, that's right, you know All right. What happens next? We get that performance by the two drunks masking as entertainers. Mm-hmm Yeah, and then Kermit cuts her finger. What a little cottage industry. They've hatched, right? Just a couple of fucking drunks that just do that for free in the street and then they get paid to go on a yacht With all the merriment going on Asia does sustain an injury and she keeps moving She's a badass the plates are shattering everywhere, which is an odd choice for a barefoot vessel, but fuck it

We kind of already poisoned the guests with jumbo shrimp now let's bleed them. We get to the next day. Next morning! Who's on first? I thought you were into them. I thought you were into them. That's right and if you want to hear the breakdown of how that really went down our interview with the Balkan Biscuit will give you more in-depth perspective. Yeah, I don't even want to, you know, merit it really any discussion, actually. I think that... You'll have to listen.

I think that you gotta listen. I think that the Balkan Biscuit kind of clarifies what might've been a bad edit. Might've been a bad edit. Which, you know, that happens. Gets the best of them. Doc Boats guest apart and we get some feedback according to GG food was a hot was hot and miss a Hot mess. I mean look at somebody like Omarosa, you know

Some you said the best of them they can be taken down by bad at it I mean look at somebody like Omarosa. Yes. You know. Clearly got a bad at it. Clearly got a bad at it. 14 times. No I believe she's actually a horrible person. Yeah maybe. Yeah maybe. What was she like a health secretary or something? I think so. You want to hear a funny thing this is when I was watching politics. The phone call to her to President Trump at the time after learning she got fired they patch her through because she wanted to set her up. I'm so sorry to hear that you got fired. Who did that? I don't even know it's the first of you. I'm doing a horrible Trump. Any Trump you do is a fun Trump. Just do your Trump. Anybody out there who wants to do a Trump, just do a Trump.

So um the yeah the Balkan Biscuit and Ellie kind of just say we're gonna be best friends for life and we're not gonna fight over this. So the guest apart, I was a little high when I was watching this so can you take this? I'll wrap this up. Alright so we get a tip meeting. Now this was interesting because Sandy does her normal critiques of each department. She said the deck killed it and it's worth mentioning that she the deck team also got two people almost killed too but she doesn't really care about that. She'll chat about the food later with JoDo. Yeah it wasn't so much of a pun as it was she just completely forgot that that dangerous thing happened yeah yeah you guys killed it yeah and then interior crushed it 25k good on Gigi and all those other guests two grand each yeah worth it all the bullshit for that then we cut to Jo no and Sandy I was confident can I really quickly say that Brie and

we learned that Brie and Ellie are are staying together in the same room I believe so. That's why you know what I don't need to Backtrack, that's okay. It's alright. Yeah It's just it adds another component to it because who's gonna ask who to leave when you take thing two back to your bunk Well, and also what if no one asks anyone to leave? Hey God Wow, I mean Well, and also what if no one asks anyone to leave? There you go. Oh God Wow, I mean could we have our first Sea Rat threesome? We almost had one I think in the first season of sailing Oh with Gary and that

alley and Yeah, I wonder what's happening with that new season of Sailing. Mm-hmm. I don't think it's coming. Yeah, well, that's what happens when you have red-faced, rat-faced pieces of shit assaulting women. You know, you deprive everybody of great content. But, you know, that crew needed to get shaken up. They were very self-important.

It's like we love the Sea Dog, we love Colin, we love Daisy, but it's like, guys, you're not fucking all Richard Nixon. You know what I, but it's like guys, you're not fucking all Richard Nixon. You know what I mean? It's like, what the fuck? One of you can stay. I only say Richard Nixon because when he was around, he was so important. We don't need three of them. No. Jono and Sandy. The food was salty chicken. That was, I didn't, I forgot that was his

choice to make whatever he wanted that night. Yeah, Sandy says what's up with the cake and the chicken and he says it was the only protein that all of them could eat which is like we mentioned one of those accidental you know kind of cupboard openings like oh I I I'm a lazy piece of shit. That's why I'm not saying that he is not enough. Clearly. Yes. No, no, no. I'm not saying that he's a lazy piece of shit, but that was very very harsh language But but that is you just that's just atrophy. That's just I don't feel like doing

Something that would it's almost like Jono Jono, let's move on, you know, let's just move on He's he's he He's a culinary architect and he's gonna be gone next episode. I think so. All right, we go for a night out and, oh my gosh, can I tell you really quickly? What? The fact that he isn't fired.

Sandy says, well, you're not flipping out in the galley. That is a low bar. The bar for being on one of these boats. I mean, Cheese doesn't even know what a laundry machine is. It's insane. So we go out for a night on the town. Thing One has a chess piece tattoo that's going to be there for a while.

That was cool to see. We land a dinner, have some talk of espresso martinis. Joe, wish i had written it down i forgot to write it down he has some some line that was like it was it was so bizarre it was like a steve carell character trying to hit on a woman it was he he is a bit awkward yeah yeah that's why i'm kind of shocked that he is appearing to be the the apex predator this season. Well, he's got a wicked jawline, wicked jawline. So thing two and Ellie are flirting kind of a bit and cheese is pissed off. Now the Balkan biscuit says I've told her numerous times that I'm into him and it's a good idea not to hook up with the person that your superior is

interested in and when I heard that, I said to myself, that didn't happen. Okay, fascist. Like, what's up with you, fascist? But listen to the interview, it gets explained. So we hit the dance floor, Ellie is going for Joe hard, and Gail, who loves her boyfriend, tells Cheese that, you know, I think this is what therapists call projection.

Gail who loves her boyfriend says, what was the name you gave her? Genuine Gail? Genuine Gail. Goes, listen, we're stuck on a boat. Sometimes she's gotta fuck. And that's advice that Gail is giving to cheese. That's right.

She's not gassing herself up to make love to thing one who has an eagle on his chest or something. Give the iTunes ranger reviews five stars kind words. We love you guys so much. Thank you for listening. Patreon.com slash another podcast network for ad free episodes and additional content. We will be doing the live happy hour this week. Go to patreon.com. We'll post all the stuff there. Yeah. Okay. We love you guys very much. I'm Dylan saying goodbye. Pat, say goodbye. Later dudes. Love