Another Below Deck Podcast - The Season Finale | Below Deck Med S8 Season Finale

Episode Date: September 24, 2024

Pat and Dylan are back to break down a beautiful proposal, sea rat love, resentment harbored, Spartacus on Starz which was the biggest TV show of all time and more from Bravo's Below Deck.Ad Free and Uncensored at Patreon.com/AnotherPodcastNetworkYoutube at https://www.youtube.com/@anotherbelowdeckpodcast_Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/badtvpodcast/Facebook Group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/anotherbelowdeckpodcastGo to MagicMind.com/BelowDeck and Use code BADTVGo to BodySmartFitness.com and mention the show in your application. Use code BADTV in the Tropical Smoothie AppGo to Ro.co/BELOWDECK 

Ian, nice guy. You'll never be back on our television. And that's the tragedy of the work done in the shadows, right? Ian is in the cosmos, kind of astral projecting to where he's really needed, holding realms together. Meanwhile, Joe is trafficking in a very first, second floor kind of thing, which is here on Earth, us humans want to see two things blood and gun. Mm-hmm. Okay. Well put. Um, I mean... Barnacles and Sea Rats alike. Hello everybody. It is time for the finale of Below Deck Season Below Deck Med Season 55 and if it's a short one, it's a short one. You know, Pat's got

some crackers in his mouth right now, but we always say this with every season finale. You know, they're a little short. They're a little shorter, you know, we've got meaningless goodbyes for a little bit. So what we want to say first and foremost is that despite us cranking through this finale episode, despite us being a little fatigued with this season, despite this season kind of like winding down by episode, I don't know, four, we've enjoyed all of it. I'm glad you're saying that. I'm glad you're starting off our recap of the final episode of season 5800 yeah by saying these words because I we are simpatico on this Dylan yeah and I'm Dylan you're Pat yeah hi at the top of this episode we get a look back on the

season right right and it reminded me that not much really happened this season and yet I still like the show it didn't have a potential employee using someone else's identity to get on the boat because that wasn't now the audience is gonna be very upset with that those are the crunchiest crackers they're so crunchy what are you guys is gonna hate that that's like burping into a microphone where you get these Gelsons? That looks like a Gelsons. Ralph's Ralph.

All right, you're not going to crunch in that crack. Do you hate the audience right now? I'm done. We didn't need a chief stew smoking a little weed on the job getting fired to entertain us. We didn't even need a Sea Rat baby being made in a guest cabin. Be a lot cooler if you did.

Yeah, it would have been. That was all fun. But for what I'm saying now, I had a great time this season. This show just works. And the reason it works is because it has the same kind of idea that the real world did in the 90s, which is you get this group of people together, they're gonna like live and work with each other for a little while, they're gonna have these relationships, some good, some bad, and then they're gonna part ways and this will never happen again. And then there's a new group of people. Yeah, it's also like a Boon Jung film or is that the guy that did Parasite? Yeah, he has a name like that I think. Yeah.

parasite? Yeah, he has a name like that, I think. Yeah. Oh, man, what, what, what murky waters we've waded into here, what with trying to pronounce Korean names that we're really not sure what they even are. But the thing I want to apologize the audience is that the reason the show works is that there's class warfare on one vessel, right? So that's what's so important. And we love socioeconomic battles and skirmishes. Hey, why don't we do some plugs

before we get into the episode. Salt Lake City, the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, what a, it's my favorite, it's my favorite. Meredith Marks, Lisa Barlow, Mary Cosby is full blown back. She is a full blown rat and she's going to be saying absolutely horrific things to people. You can find that. Well we're gonna give you a couple free episodes on this feed. I'm telling you I don't want to do a lot. I don't want to give them a lot. I don't want to give them a lot. Couples too. You got to let them wet

their beak to see what we're throwing down. Alright fine we'll give you two episodes. Fine and we're also doing Real Housewives of Orange County on Bad TV and we're also doing... what the hell else County on Bad TV. And we're also doing what the hell else are we doing over there? Golden Bachelorette. That's right. Golden Bachelorette. Yeah. A lot of fun. It's a lot of shows. Love is Blind is coming. Everybody get behind the paywall, support the show. Know the holidays are coming around. But you know, if you listen to us, if you love us, if if we're part of your daily Throw a little in the hopper if you're on a Stairmaster right now getting that ass nice and trim nice and fat

Trim or fat whatever you want. I want my ass fat. Okay, that's why I've been doing squats lately I want a big rump, right? But if you're on the Stairmaster getting it rumped up or whatever and you're listening to us go to patreon.com slash another podcast throw five dollars or a little more if you can what you think in the last episode I think I sense from your initial statements that you feel the podcast is gonna be short which well I feel as though this episode was a little bit like Joe's dick when he tried to bang Carrie. It didn't work. And vodka and or whiskey and or tequila and or a combination of both will really do that to the the worm. It'll render it completely useless. Yeah. Which was quite anticlimactic. But let me

say this. I will give this episode 100 pots despite my perceived cynicism going into this episode. In the beginning of the season I said, I don't want anything to do with this Sandy proposal and boy how wrong was I. I mean, is there a draft in here? I mean, oh my gosh, was this beautiful. It really was episode saving. I mean, the love between Sandy and Leah is very, very real.

I'm very, very happy for both of them. And Ellie continues to chase Robin Williams across logs. I mean, it's just absolutely wild. Now here's where they made a mistake. Four pots. I could have watched a Sea Rat wedding. I would have loved to seen Captain Sandy's wedding. We could have had all the past Sea Rats on past seasons. Including Chef Dave.

Hey, Dickhead, nice to see your cake melted. You're just not good enough, OK? Well, I was going to say, nice to see you, Chef Dave, show up to something that you scheduled. We hate Dave. I don't like him anymore. No, I don't like him. You know what I hope for Dave?

What? That he lives a lovely life and that he has one more skiing accident. Not a serious one, but just one more. I thought he was a skateboarder. No, he's a skier. A skier. No, I'm kidding. I don't wish that upon you.

Life's too short to wish a will on people, except terrorists? Yeah. Yeah, definitely. All right. Anyway, I liked the season. It was one of the weaker entries that we've had in quite a while. I'm hoping for I'm really optimistic for this next season of below deck sailing that starts October. You can't be eating crackers on a podcast, Dylan. All right, he pushed the mic away. I'm looking forward to a new beginning. But this was fun. I did enjoy the wedding, the night out. Normally, there's a lot more going on. I'm still going to have to give this episode as a standalone zero-nots. You know I really mean this when I say it. I've not had a cracker with this robust kind of crunch in some time. It's delicious. It has an over baked...

How did we let them do this? How were they- We're working on it. I'm working with the city council. Dylan's referring to the planes that are flying over our heads. Are we trying to kill time right now? No, no, no. I'm just distracted by lots of stuff. Two things.

Stop being distracted. One, the deliciousness of these crackers. And two, the corruption in the city of Los Angeles, which has essentially issued some kind of toxic flight path over multiple neighborhoods so that people can fly to Las Vegas and throw up on strippers and fly back you know it's crazy well we gotta get out there somehow I might be going to Vegas in two weeks okay should I go I hate Vegas yeah it's the press is socks I'm gonna be fun now it's expensive too depresses... it sucks. It's gonna be fun though. It's expensive too. Pretty expensive.

Where are those billboards offering a 99 cent breakfast? I know and people are like come on down to Vegas and it's like where are you staying? Excalibur. Well I bet you got a cheap room there. Yeah we got it. We were on a waiting list. It's $600 a night. Yeah yeah yeah.

Oh wow Excalibur mm-hmm the cheapest place the cheapest ticket in town was Trump Tower but what with the rising popularity I think that those rooms are absurdly expensive and the sheets are made of gold it's not even comfortable like how do you sleep on gold all right let's get into the show we began with the feud that we left off with last week. I see both points between Asia and Ellie. Asia finds Ellie to be a gaslighting Balkan biscuit. And Ellie wants to show Asia that she's

capable of some final lap hurdle race heroism that will see her get a good recommendation. To be a chiefs too. Well, that's right. You've got to show off your leadership. Now, Dill, you just summed that up in about two sentences well done thank you it goes much further than that okay so Kermit confronts Ellie about stepping on her toes and warns her don't do this again uh-huh okay now um she very she

had a lot of Denzel energy tonight yes she did now if I'm the Balkan biscuit I would have just said, or what? Or what? Like, the season ends in eight hours. What are you gonna do? I would have pulled her in close and said, have you ever fashioned a dollhouse out of rubble and flesh?

And she would have said, what are you talking about? Ellie could have said, exactly. And then kicked her overboard. She could have done that. Yeah. My bigger point, Dylan is there's no point to this. I've used this example, but he times before, but it's like a mountain lion, like apologizing to a zebra after he's like eating half his body. Yeah, he's like, I really want to say I'm sorry about all this. And then the zebra with his last gas says save it.

You're a real jerk. Yeah, and I wouldn't expect the zebra to say really anything different. You know, I got a text from my mother this morning that was completely under. I mean, you know, she sent me a picture. She goes, what do I do? It's a picture of a young possum split in half in her backyard. I started to well up. I'm such a pussy but it just broke my heart. Now I'll get my hands dirty. You know I've lifted a waterlogged dead dog

off the concrete. You know if I have to do things I'll do things but God am I so sensitive to animals? She goes, what do I do? I go, you throw it away. She goes, I don't know if it was the dogs. I I go it looks like a bird because there was a clean slice. You know what I mean? It looks like some kind of Predatory aerial nightmare split this young thing in half, and it just absolutely broke my heart this morning I think it would have been more comforting if you said I think the possum took his own life Yeah fashion some kind of Katana and sliced himself in half in the most aggressive harikari Ever perpetrated in the animal kingdom. That's including Japanese culture

Alright, I'm losing my mind. Okay. Okay. Alright, so uh, alright, so any you suspects type twisty and the bender of worlds used to work at a gay bar I like this guy. I feel like I didn't get to learn him more and I won't because he'll never be back on this show again. So Asha heads down and says how long will it take to do shots? Hey I didn't know you needed lemon shots. This is the kind of communication that my wife and I have now where we have these little fights over nothing just because we're both so irritated. Right default setting is attack back. Yes.

Yeah. It's like, well, and Asha, I got to say, Asha has handled Ellie all season so immaculately. She has not been pulled in the melodramatization of any of the meaningless hierarchical feuds that go on in the boat. She just goes, you don't need to be so defensive. I didn't say I said how I said how long so good God.

Well, this is the first time we've actually seen Kermit like really dislike someone. Yeah. And uh and vocalize it. She disliked a guy. I can't remember what guy. Was it just a uh oh yeah. Well, yeah. She didn't like the guy on uh down end. You know, the guy on Down End. You know, the guy that tried to sexually assault a girl while she was sleeping? She wasn't a fan of his.

Ah, well no, not him, I mean. I can't even remember what that guy looks like. What a fucking piece of shit that guy was. You know, I was looking back in episodes because I was gonna see if I got an early screener for Below Deck Sailing. And I realized that the last time we'd seen a reunion was sailing a year and a half ago. Right. Stopped doing reunions. Still zoomed. And that was the worst reunion

because it was the fucking bloat face was like, I don't know. I've never seen an episode. You're talking about Gary King. Well, we're gonna have to talk about that idiot in three weeks. Yeah, I'm excited. All right. So, we're going to have to talk about that idiot in three weeks. Yeah, I'm excited. All right, so and I really am. I love sailing. So Jono gets some toga time. He says that he wishes he was this involved every charter. No, you don't.

God, no, you do not. Depending on the charter, I mean, lock me away. Get me away from these people. Gail, it says it's really hitting her that she's leaving the boat with me. You know what I did love because sometimes if you got to really listen to what they say on the episode to kind of catch the little things she says that she's scared about their future and sharing a bathroom. Oh, Patty, living with a girl was a roadblock for me

was the idea that you might have to do number two in the same you're very scatologically sensitive about that I don't even know why but I am I think a lot of people are I know it's so you know there's people that like won't poop for four days if they're on like a grid it's like that was me yeah it's heartbreaking yeah I don't want to let them down that I'm not perfect I think that's what you just do this goddamn bathroom wow't want to let him down that I'm not perfect. I think that's what I know You just do this goddamn bathroom. Wow, you want to be a god? I want humans don't human shit gods don't that's right Yeah, yeah, I'm Zeus met right right right It's a delusion

Mmm, can I tell you a misstep of production? So if we're not gonna have a reunion Why not like they do with the Real Housewives of Orange County as the season last episode rolls the credits they start doing the what happened you know with the various cast members after filming why not see if Nate and Gail worked out I don't know we're not gonna hear a reunion you got to follow them up on their socials to see what the hell's going on with their lives if you want the audience of this show to grow you have to Treat the show with respect and Bravo so often time and time again Treats the show with little to no respect why Southern charm has a reunion in this show doesn't I understand that they're on different boats And stuff I understand that there are different time zones. It's difficult. If you want to be on this show, you have to be able to do a reunion. That's

it. That's it. It's two hours out of your life. It's a day fly back, do the reunion and fly back or do zoom's but you know, pay the people you know, I mean, don't be so tech pursed about this kind of stuff. I mean mean you guys blow money on you know, a lot of dumb stuff A lot of dumb stuff. Okay. I mean people are getting IVs in IV treatments at the Bravo offices in Brooklyn. I guarantee you're gonna say P. Diddy's house. No He did he's house. They're being blown up. I Think they found 781 dildos

Really? There was a lot of baby oil there. Uh-huh. I don't know if that's AI. I never knew. Can I tell you something? You know, I work on this conspiracy show, AKA Deep Waters, and me and the producer and the other hosts

send texts back and forth about stories. And I saw a video on Twitter of Jake Tapper breaking a story that days after the Lebanese pagers had blown up. We're not going to get political here. No, no, no. Okay. Days after the Lebanese pager story, he goes breaking. Thousands of goats have exploded in Lebanon, killing thousands of people with explosives in their rectal cavities. I go, you know... Goats?

Eight pagers? Goats had bombs put in their butts and then they blew up all over the place. I go, this is... I can't believe we just missed this because we had recorded earlier. Sam, the guy I do the show show with goes it's not real. I go. Oh my god This is what's so dangerous about the internet Jake Tapper's mouth watching it back It did move a little bit differently, but I full awesome AI full-blown thought I don't know what's going on over there I mean crazy stuff's going on over there. So it wasn't

Outside the realm of possibility that goats had bombs shoved up their ass and they were blowing everybody up what's going on over there. I mean crazy stuff's going on over there. So it wasn't outside the realm of possibility that goats had bombs shoved up their ass and they were blowing everybody up. That's some World War II shit. I don't know. So anyways, just be careful out there and remember, it's all a lie. Gale is going to fall in love with Nathan, I think, and have children. We'll see about that. Joe flips his nips and we get prepared for the proposal. That's right. Now this is a slap in the face of the Balkan biscuit because Kermit grabs Joe and Gail, two people that are not

even part of the interior for like service. Yeah. And then also Carrie, the new girl. That's a real slap in the face to cheese in the Balkan biscuit. Well, it's also a slap in the face to Joe because as Asia is telling him about the responsibilities that are going to be on his plate after the

last charter ends, he's thinking, I hope this doesn't impose on banging time. You know, the wheels are spinning up there. He's got 16 hours to bang carry. And to that, you know, well the wheels are spinning up there. He's got 16 hours to bang carry and to that you want to know the real mark of a fucking alcoholic, dude Uh-huh. You have a shot at hooking up with a girl and you get so drunk You get so wasted. Yeah that you blow it. Yep. That's a drunk Yeah Yeah, it is. So the queens head back, and we ask a question. If you could sleep with anybody, who would it be?

Carrie says to the gays, Joe. And get that dick jokes are said in front of Ellie. Now, Ellie begins once again in her. And we love Ellie. I love the Balkan Biscuit. Love the Balkan Biscuit but Ellie does turn into a psycho frogger from time to time trying to barrel across freeways that don't exist. Yeah she also makes a Mean Girls reference I think. Yeah so she says Carrie is throwing this in my face and it's listen, I don't know if we didn't see certain things off camera, but from what we've seen,

that couldn't be farther from the truth. It's a non-existent reality that you are constructing. Kerry is seemingly a lovely girl who just wants to get a paycheck and get off the boat. Maybe get fucked, but unfortunately, he's such a drunk that the dick didn't work. No, whiskey dick, they have a word for that. Whiskey dick. Can I say something?

Yes. I don't have any sexual prowess. I mean none. But what I can say is that that literally never once ever has happened to me. I'm very proud of that. Wow. Has it happened to you? Of course. Oh really?

I have a problem with alcohol. I have a very unhealthy relationship with alcohol. That's true. That's true. How many times? Oh,. Oh really? I have a problem with alcohol. I have a very unhealthy relationship with alcohol. That's true, that's true. How many times? Oh, throughout my life? Yeah. Countless. Oh wow. Yeah, that's how I know. That's how I can speak to it. Wow, listen. You're a party boy, you're a party girl. I'm a square. You know? Yeah. I'm a complete fucking milk drinker. Okay. You know, I have to say this, and I don't think I'm spoiling anything for anybody, Joe's gonna be on the next season of Mediterranean. Who knows, maybe. Oh right, I'm not supposed to say that. Well, I think he was playing a part of mixing it up, because he knows where his bread is

buttered. The more you get out there and mix it up with the opposite sex and make a storyline for yourself, of course Bravo's gonna say come back guy like Ian You know Ian nice guy You'll never be back on our television And that's the tragedy of the work done in the shadows right Ian is in the cosmos kind of astral projecting to where he's really needed Holding realms together meanwhile Joe is trafficking in a very together. Meanwhile Joe is trafficking in a very first second floor kind of thing which is here on earth us humans want to see two things blood and come. Mm-hmm. Okay. Well put. I mean that's what we want to see you know. Well they've

made a whole series of it on Spartacus on stars. Right. Yeah I think it was called blood and come. Biggest show of of all time oh man I watched the whole season twice yeah people talk about mash people talk about Seinfeld you couldn't even measure how many people watch Spartacus blood and cum okay you know that guy's dead yeah so heartbreaking oh man you know I've never seen Spartacus people say that it's a good show excellent yeah three seasons seasons, maybe four. Right. You know, they work right up until that end. That's all you need. Get in, get out.

Get in, get out. It's the character arc. That's it. You don't need to do eight seasons. As much as I love Breaking Bad, Breaking Bad went on a little too long, you know? I disagree with that one, but I will say that I think... The fifth season of Breaking Bad kind of... You know, we lose a pretty major antagonist in Gus and we start to have internal struggles, but with the outward antagonists of that motor gang, it's just not as good.

You know what I jumped off? Handmade tale. Oh yeah, of course. Of course. After season three or four, I was like, I think the writing's bad. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, so What happens next? Oh in the show? Yeah, okay, so it's next morning next morning Yeah, it's a new day and not getting fired is it's a new thing for cheese, right and

by the gods grace the By the great by the grace of God, she has funked her way to the finish line. Yes, she has. Okay, it's unbelievable. And she's also taken the stance, and this is regarding Joe, that it's better to have love and loss than to have never loved at all. I completely disagree. Yeah.

Which I never loved my first girlfriend who proceeded to cheat on me with the entire football team and a football team that we played against. And maybe not all of them, right? That's a little hyperbolic. It was quite a few of them. Yeah, I mean, but four is too many, right? Four is too many, but it's definitely not 50, right? So let's not slander the young woman.

But yeah, you've had a couple of loves that you wish you had not. I blame all the cheating I did on her right and that's great That's a perfect way to take accountability But um yeah, no you've had lots of love in your life like that girl that punched you in the face while you were driving I mean who? Hey, hey, hey, who needs that? nobody except for terrorists

Okay, so Sandy coordinates. Yes, Joe is smitten. And he knows that there is a little time left. The talk is clicking. Biggest day of Sandy's life is coming. Leah is here. It's very cute, but we've got a job to do. OK, let's meet for the final time on the main deck.

Af, we've got the bag secured. The gays are going home and Carrie is on a knife's edge. Get her nut and lose a meaningful friendship with an enemy or don't get her nut and don't lose a meaningful friendship with an enemy. I mean, I don't know which hand to pick or which door to open. Pat? I don't care. The guest apart. It's quite the high note. Captain Sandy runs out even though it's against protocol to meet Leah, who is gorgeous. And by the way, as an audience member, do you think for one goddamn second Leah didn't know she was going to get proposed to? Get real. Dylan, I thought it'd be fun because we have nothing to talk about with this episode to tell our proposal stories. I have one.

By the way, Sandy's was lovely, but I don't buy it for a second. Sure. So I had this was quite a convoluted plot to get my wife to meet me so that I could surprise him with a proposal. Yeah, I told her that my car had oil problems like days before, because you've got to set the whole scam up weeks in advance. I said it was running out of oil. So I specifically put two things of oil,

just like in the plastic jugs that you buy at a gas station, by the door. And I called her, and I was on Mulholland Drive with this beautiful outlook of the city, one of our favorite places. And I called her and I said, honey, I'm stuck on Mulholland Drive. Do you mind driving up here to get some oil and she's like, where am I gonna get oil? I go, I left two containers by the door. So I have my friend D Rock hiding in

the bushes. He's got a camera to capture all of it. And D Rocks a creep. So that fit. Oh yes, yes, yes. She drives up to Mulholland to a little lookout point, pulls over. By the way, there are some people that were like snapping some photos, some tourists, and I said, Hey, get the fuck out of here. I got a proposal. And they're like, Oh, I'm sorry. And they drive off. They're like, Oh, I'm sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry. They were French. And, uh, that's what I was doing. Yeah. Well, Oh, I'm sorry. Sorry, sorry. Sorry. Sorry. They were French. And though that's that's what I was doing. Well, then you don't need to work on your French at all. That

was great. Thank you. So the wife drives up and I have the hood open. I'm faking this whole thing. She comes over we get to that point where the outlook is and I got down on one goddamn knee and I proposed she said no. And she knew she admitted later on she She's like, ah this was all kinda funny business. What was yours? Mine I uh, I woke my wife up with bells jingling on our dear Betty, our late Betty. Is that a dog?

No, we're not dog people. Oh, a cat. Yeah. And I love dogs, but I've talked about it before. I can't do the shit. Can't do it. Can't do the walks, can't do the shit. I see these people. Saw this woman the other day.

It was like six o'clock in the morning. She was outside walking her dog, smoking a cigarette. Just looked fucking miserable. Yeah, it's early in the morning. It's so early. So, I put the ring on Betty because I knew that Betty did not have the character of Dot. Betty needed to be remembered for something.

Otherwise she just would have been a cat, you know? So Dot was monopolizing too much of our memory so I needed to put the ring on Betty. That was kind of you. Yeah, CZ woke up saw the ring So so she crawled up on the bed. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, okay I said I said look on look it was very convoluted and and and cute, but the execution wasn't great I'd say probably six out of ten and she said yes, and our lives have been horrible ever since yeah

It's beautiful. Yep. All right, so let's get to the show. OK. Ellie, oh, sorry. We get to final meetings. Yeah. This is the tip meeting, Dylan. So this is the final evaluation. So Sandy says to Jono, you did great.

If I could have fired you, I would. Yeah. Wow. We can all have it. Ringing endorsement of Jonathan, who she's called Jonathan the entire season. She's not called him. John.

Oh, once Asia did fantastic. She's a staple on this show. Always good to see Asia. I welcome every single season with Asia at the helm moving forward. Ian, despite holding dimensions together, did a great job needs to delegate needs to delegate more sandy wants them all at her proposal because what would the

proposal be if Nathan who Leah doesn't know and Sandy doesn't know didn't come out of the bushes afterwards okay so Ellie is very low right now she was put in charge of the boat while Gail and Joe and Carrie went out and did the decorations for the proposal Not being involved in that renders everything that has transpired this season Completely meaningless it was meaningless all her hard work with everybody. You know she's carrying this boat on her back, Dylan Yeah, it's easy to slip back in the more torn pessimism and

cynicism and nihilism, existentialism when you're having bad days, if you've been in that kind of environment before, because, you know, if you don't know that kind of darkness, you don't know how to find your way back. And that's what I and I don't really think that I'm just talking. Yeah, yeah, that's how she's I'm just talking complete fucking completed. I turned on now don't the audience would be really upset if we didn't cover

the tip meeting though. Uh huh. Tip. It's 20 grand. And for those. Yeah, you that have kept track, right? It's been $20,000. Every single every single chart, dude, it's like Christmas with that grandparent that you don't like every year, it's going to be $25 to the AMC. I don't live by one. But thank you, grandma. Hey, mom, Uncle Tom need to come back. He's starting to smell. Yeah. Yeah. That's what the tip. Yeah, the tips meetings. Now.

Oh, gosh. Tongue got a little tied there. Huh? Yeah. Those crackers are just what are they called? Firehook baked crackers established in 1992. Wow, I believe them. Hey, don't put the fucking crackers down. We got to wrap this show up. Don't put another one of those in your mouth. No, I'm not gonna put another one in my mouth. Okay, I'm not gonna put another one in my mouth okay I'm just trying to try to buy a little time okay I felt awkward with the whole tongue tight we're gonna make it to the 35 minutes of course we are we're gonna

make it to the 40 minute mark listen dude we get in the bands and Ellie really lets it all out she just starts starts flaming Asia. And I would say to Ellie, I know that the horse has left the barn, you're not going to get the chief stew position that you feel you deserve. But it's probably not a great look to start shitting on your boss six hours before the work's over. I would levy the same complaint that I had of Kermit to Balkan Biscuit. What is the point of this? It's all meaningless, you're right, so don't get pissed off about it. Let's get to the proposal. Joe leads Sandy and Leah to their big day and they've caught a line. This is tension. This

is drama. Oh yeah, it was amazing. I thought they'd actually fake this just for a little bit of drama, but I don't think Sandy's that good of an actress and she did seem like she seemed stressed very stressed Yeah, and that's a bummer I'm sorry that Sandy went through that but the proposal was absolutely lovely and when Lee gets a call that she's gonna be on The show and she's never been on the show before She knows she's getting proposed to when you show up to a doc and the violinists are playing a wedding song Which if I was Sandy I would be very pissed off because What little cover we

have of this being a surprise is completely blown with these violinists playing this. OK, so we cut to the interview of Captain Sandy, and she says the following. She says, sometimes you have how something's going to look in your mind, and then it's how it turns out. That was shade at Kermit. No.

It was shade at Kermit. No. It was shade at Kermit. Oh, you think so? Kermit was in charge of putting all this together. Oh, really, really, really? Yes. I believe that. That's interesting.

That's interesting. She still loves Kermit, but I'm saying in her mind, you wouldn't fuck up this much. Right. But she did. Hey, I like that take. Thank you. That's interesting. Oh, no, no, no.

She proposes to baby. Okay. Listen, I love Sandy's checklist and a partner. God, not my thing, but my thing. I would like for ideally a partner to have some kind of acknowledgement of the littleness of what's going on down here. That would be beautiful. Well, you gotta have something to believe in. Yeah, we don't need dogma or anything like that. So there's God, love of animals. Oh, yes.

A love of family. Mm-hm. And you gotta be hot. Very hot. I mean, Sandy has blossomed into my favorite captain. Oh, come on. You got Captain Carrie, dude. She's my third favorite captain.

There you go. You got Glenn there, too. Yeah. But I love Sandy. I really do. I Glenn there too. Yeah. But I love Sandy. I really do. I do too. We've really grown with Sandy. She's a bro at this point.

Yeah, she's come a long way in my eyes. Who cares what I think? What is, what is, yeah, who cares what we think, but what is more beautiful than two Lesbos who absolutely love each other in this alcove with this, I mean, I genuinely started to well up. It was fucking beautiful. It was very beautiful. Very cutesy. All right, let's go suck and fuck. It was fucking beautiful. It was very beautiful. Very cute, CQ.

All right, let's go suck and fuck. All right, yeah, yeah. In the van. Let's spill some blood. Let's spill some C. Now Nathan does a little back channeling. Yeah. Nathan, I didn't know you had it in you.

Drops it down. Maybe it's too much sun getting to your head, because you're losing hair and whatnot. It's heating your head. I don't know why you have to bring that up every episode. Well, he's good looking and he's getting to have sex with Gail. I'm very jealous.

Yeah. You could not. You'd kill yourself if you were with Gail. She's too positive. She's too happy. Yeah? Too bubbly. Hmm.

Maybe. Don't you think? I feel like you're too much of a miser for that. No, no, no. I'm a pretty positive person. Kind of, I, uh, mirror my personality with who I'm around. Almost like a chameleon. Oh, okay. So you're saying that you have no sense of self. That's right.

Okay, so Cheezy's heard that Joe's flirting in front of her. He said practically fucking Carrie on top of her. Well, it reminds her of that time that Ellie was rubbing Joe's dick in the back seat and She's triggered and Joe says I completely understand why she's upset, but I'm sending it tonight. Yeah Yeah, it's just that he doesn't care. Yeah, he's a massive douchebag. Yeah. Yeah. So Ian is letting his hair down He's busting his tits out. He's busting his boobs out and Gail and Nathan drop bombs Yeah, oh they love bombed each. Oh, yeah, that's right. Yeah, I gotta see if that worked out or not.

I'm a Gallup you're talking to Gail right? Well, we texted she said she wants to come on the show. Well, listen, we we have to take a look we have to glass the landscape we have to see where we stand in our Cold War with Bravo because I don't know. I need those screeners. Oh no, I know. Yeah, yeah.

I don't know. They kind of have me. I know, but you cannot allow yourself to lose the high ground, okay? You can't allow yourself to be baited into submission like that, okay? Well we party at the... In order to win a war, you have to be willing to lose everything. Okay? not the screen All right, okay, we go to the club yeah absolutely absolutely nothing happens here

Okay, and then we head back to the boat and I'll tell you these sea rats are fucking trashed even by Sea Rat standard, dude I looked at Carrie, I was like, well, that's not okay to have sex with. No. Right? No, absolutely not. But Carrie, to her credit, gets the stamina, stops leaning at a 45 degree angle and headbutting walls,

and walks into the bathroom with Joe to get it on. And... It ain't happening. It ain't happening It ain't happening. Mm-hmm. What a tragedy, you know the Physiologically biologically the tragedy of that because the balls are full. Yes but the hose It's not working it's like there's glue stuck in it What you don't put a fire out by smacking the fire with the hose. It needs to be

taught, erect, and shit needs to be spilling out of the tip. Now let me tell you something. Yeah. As a engaging in this dumb behavior like Joe. Yeah. In the past there's a point with alcohol consumption where you do make a decision as a male, perhaps a female does this as well. You're going out, you're single, are you ready to mingle? You know, you're open for this as well. You're going out, you're single, you're ready to mingle, you're open for whatever may happen. And then at some point, you go, my bed and rolling through taco, now drive-through.

See, much more appealing than mowing a beaver. You know what sounds a lot better than pussy and or dick right now? A Mexican pizza. That's right. Two, actually. Two, but call it three. Chuck a beef and cheese burrito on there.

I don't know what they have. Do they have a beef and cheese burrito there? Yes, they do. Of course they do. Of course they do. Get one of those Gordita things, too. I don't even know what the hell's in it. I'll take three of those, actually.

What's in it is hot cat food and E. coli lettuce. And we eat it with pleasure. You know, I haven't had Taco Bell since that DoorDash driver stole my food. It was just traumatizing. Yeah, you were on the phone for like three hours to get your eight bucks back. Well, I drove to Taco Bell to try to find him.

Because on my map it said that he was there. So I drove there so I drove there and I started asking other drivers around if they were this guy I had lost my mind I was Ellie I was chasing somebody across a lumber oh wow yeah wait I circled his back to that yeah yeah you're welcome so he can't he can't fuck and the Sun rises the next day You know, that's the beautiful thing about life, right? You embarrass yourself. It's a new day. It's a new day Let's go again

I would that's what I'm gonna tell my kids when they turn into teenagers and they do something stupid and you know I think it's the end of the world. I'm gonna be like No one's gonna care about this next week. Well, unless you like kill somebody, of course Yeah, go for that. So we go to the last meetings, right? Yeah. Well, I want to say this. So this is where Jonah wakes up. And he tells us that he's very proud of himself

for getting through the season. And it's worth mentioning he should hold that close to the vest because if there was another Sea Rat available to sling some fucking flop, he'd be on the next Alaskan Airlines back to wherever the fuck he came from. So you know, he couldn't. Alaska, wherever the fuck he came from. So you know, last guy, I think that's right. Yeah. So Jono, we bid you ado. He's going to I thought you're not going to work to work. Yeah,

Jono was really fun. He was fine. And yeah, I think overall with what you saw him put down there. I mean, he had some bad I mean, we got to find like, disgusting. Okay. Well, he's gonna go back to school. So that's no, I'm kidding. There were some good plates. There were some good plates. There were some gross plates. What we need to do with Jono is we definitely need to eliminate garnish and powder form of any kind.

So we need to stop dehydrating beetroot and just popping it all over the steak, right? Because that was gross. He did that. He did that a lot. Sorry, there's a I mean, the audience can't hear. Yeah. Oh, wow. Just kind of. Yeah. So yeah, Jonah was it's overall, I'd say 69 pots. Okay, that's not bad. That's not a lot worse than that. There's pizza wrap. Oh, yeah Chef not pizza rat When I talk to chef matt chef matt, come on you want to come on it'll be fun

We made fun of you. He's like, yeah, you guys even make money doing what you do. Hey, you know what matt? Why don't you go shut up? anyway Surprisingly we do. I it's it's kind of crazy It's kind of crazy. Um So anyways, um enough of our squabbles with searats. Yeah, I know. Okay It's kind of crazy. It's kind of crazy. So anyways, enough of our squabbles with sea rats. Yeah, I know.

Okay. But we do have certain, we have squabbles with some of these sea rats and it's not our fault, okay? These sea rats are fucking sea rats, okay? Some of them are good, some of them are bad. But pizza rat, that's not a good sea rat. I mean pizza rat told Aisha to go push a vacuum. What are we going to get along with that guy now and i don't think our

audience which is mostly women would want us to get along with that okay is it and that is a fidgety pigeon who is bound to be run over by some kind of vehicle at some point in his life that's how he goes okay i cheese next morning she says goodbye sandy gives her a sticker star for most improved. Yeah. Inco incoherent moron. Yeah. And then Jono says goodbye. And then there's a bunch of other goodbyes and who gives a shit. Balkan biscuit compares her goodbye to not completing a full orgasm. Yeah, like this is like Balkan biscuit you're expecting too much. Okay. Um, Asha handled this so beautifully.

She said, I know that we had our difficulty, but I think that you're such a hard worker. Okay? And she goes, hard worker. That's all I got. Okay. What? What else do we want here? Okay.

I think we could see the Bulk and Biscuit on another season. I think so too. We end the season and we get to eight months later, eight months later. The wedding looks beautiful. Great to see Kate. Great to see everybody there. I will say Dave, you fuck the cake up. How dare you? Yeah, I do want to give it to Captain Sandy and Leah, though. They could have filled that wedding reception with all the Sea Rats of the

past chef Ben, all these people. I like that they chose not to was just Kate Queen of the sea and Kermit who she has a personal relationship. It's not like bachelor nation. One of those idiots gets married. They're like best man some dude that they've known for eight months that was on the same show. It belittles the the ceremony. Exactly. And once again, Dave, I mean, you failed categorically. I mean, can you imagine going to your wedding and having the chef that made the cake go, you know, it's so hot out. I mean, it's leaning. Like, yeah, haha.

Can't stand that guy. All right, listen, let's end on a positive note. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. The season was absolutely a blast. I give it. I had fun. How many pots would you give it? About 50. 50, I'd give it 50 pots too. Mainly because of my experience recapping it with you and occasionally Ruby and having a good time recapping it.

And we're gonna be back at it in two weeks. It's nice to have a little break. We're gonna be back here in two weeks with sailing. We can't believe that we get to do this for a job. We can't do it if we don't have you guys. So we love you guys at the end of every season. We kind of just like pinch ourselves that there are people listening to this. We love you guys so much. Hope we're making you laugh. Hope we're making your lives better. If you want to support us, go to patreon.com slash another podcast network. Donate a little

or a little more. Have a great rest of your week kisses to you all I'm Dylan saying goodbye Pat say goodbye Love