Another Below Deck Podcast - The Throuple Again Continues | Below Deck Sailing Yacht S4 E11
Episode Date: June 16, 2023Pat and Dylan are back to break down hangovers, motorboats, truth, lies, predictions, spanish, Bravo's shameful actions and more from Bravo's Below Deck Sailing.Uncensored content and exclusive shows ...including Vanderpump Rules at Patreon.com/AnotherPodcastNetworkInstagram at - https://www.instagram.com/anotherbelowdeckpodcast_/?hl=enFacebook Group at - https://www.facebook.com/groups/anotherbelowdeckpodcast/
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Not everybody can just get blackout drunk and have no recollection whatsoever of what transpired.
As pointed out, generally, being hungover coincides with severe anxiety. I think a lot
of these sea rats have not known that over the years. They're just like,
I'm having a panic attack. No, you're hungover.
Right, right. Well, and also. Welcome aboard another brand spanking new episode of another Below Deck Podcast.
My name's Dylan. I'm settled up next to one, Patrick Hickey.
Hey, permission to come aboard.
Granted, I'm not doing too hot right now.
Yeah, what?
What's up?
I went to Chavez Ravine last night.
Yeah.
Catch a baseball game?
Yeah.
Isn't that nice?
You can, in Los Angeles.
No, it's not.
Well, it's too expensive.
That's where I was going with this.
This is how it is in Los Angeles. I don't know how it's not. Well, it's too expensive. That's where I was going. This is how it is in Los
Angeles. I don't know how it is in other cities, but yeah, the kids get off of school. You say,
hey, everybody, everybody hop in the van. We're going to go over to Chavez Ravine. We're going to
watch a baseball game tonight. You go to the venue, you order some food for your family of five, and you walk out of the place at the end of the game $3,000 in the hole.
Yeah, family of five, which is too many people.
Well, mommy, daddy, three kids.
Yeah.
Well, listen, we're having a population collapse,
so we should probably.
Denmark's paying for people to have babies.
Said, I'll give you a van.
I saw a whole 60 Minutes on it. Wow well that's really cool way to go denmark wouldn't it be nice to just live in a small place where you could do stuff like that think about doing that here like we
ran out of vans in no time um but no uh if you two people let's say hypothetically speaking and not concretely
speaking my me and my wife probably spent 350 going to the game getting the foods getting
the haridora dodgerita bat margarita you know um and you don't need to get the haridora dodgerita
bat souvenir drink you definitely don't but the whole thing's a racket here's what i don't need to get the Herradura, Dodgerita, Betts souvenir drink.
You definitely don't.
But the whole thing's a racket.
Here's what I don't understand, Dylan.
You go online at whatever those,
even just Dodger.com or whatever,
because you're trying to get out of the middlemen
of Ticketmaster and all these other
questionable ticket sales companies.
A ticket for a nosebleed for a Dodgers game
is still $62. So a family of five that's
with taxes and fees you're still hitting almost 400 just to get in the building yep for nosebleeds
oh and then there's parking and if you want to get preferred parking it's like 75 bucks
so you're in a mood i'm in a bit of a mood. Also got the nacho helmet. The only steal in the park, the nacho helmet,
which is a trough of chips and nacho cheese,
which is, I think, a molecule away from oil.
Petroleum product.
You're forgetting the best part of the Dodgers nachos.
Jalapenos?
No, they come in a plastic Dodger hat.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And how fun that is to slide back and forth
from the fucking ground
when obese other goers
slide back and forth and back and forth
because that's another part of the game.
I mean, it's just up and down and up and down.
Oh, you're going to get another beer.
Get two this time.
Stop getting up.
But anyways, I'm not just upset because
I have an atomic
bout of something
horrific that's going to come out of me
soon. I have to shit my pants.
Okay.
The worst thing about this
whole thing is
that Bravo is disrespecting the show we love and worse the
fans of the show that we all love and then us and then us i didn't ask for four hours of work a week
for below deck so what they're doing now, now be knowns to us.
And the technicality with these people,
we were talking about it.
I sent a little bit of a nasty email.
You fired off an email.
The threshold of nastiness is so ridiculously high or low,
whatever it is.
What did I say?
I was just like, what's going on?
That's it?
Yeah. I wasn't like hey fuck you it was uh it was strongly worded but you were asking our connect our people
over at bravo uh yeah why are you doing this to everyone
i think no one wants two episodes back to back of below deck on money,
but I could be wrong because you and I have to view it through a different lens.
We see two episodes.
We're like,
Oh my God,
that is a whole lot of television that I need to make funny.
Right,
right,
right.
Most people sit back,
they smoke their weed.
They got a glass of wine,
whatever their poison.
They sit back on a Monday night and they're,
they may not even notice that they're watching two episodes.
That's how people view thing.
That's what the whole binge thing did to people they don't even know
before they know what they've been sitting on their fucking ass for 90 minutes like
oh i just like two episodes that's that's a uh insensitive impression of a stoner
the you might be you might be right you might be right you might be right. You might be right. You might be right. I'm sick right now.
You're upset.
No, I'm gastrointestinally sick right now.
But you're right.
People might not notice, but I would say,
and we've seen this over and over again, Andy, the brass.
Nope, no reunion what the putting out to a week is is there's no way to
cut it other than they are disrespecting this it's the ugly little stepchild of bravo it makes them
money they have five different versions of it for whatever reason they wanted more kids that they
want to turn their back on right exactly let's adopt more children and then
let's leave them home by themselves to make their own food oh and bravo this this evil set of parents
they're seamstresses right they they own some kind of uh what do you call those things uh the um
the big machines uh sills what what are they called? Silk Machine?
It was very prominent in the film Wanted,
I think, with Angelina Jolie.
It's been too long.
A loom.
A loom.
A loom.
So these loom-owning fucking child labor drivers,
what they've done is they've had these kids
and these kids are the best.
Their hands are bloodied,
but they're making them the most money
because this show does much better
than Summer House.
100%.
We looked up the ratings.
They kill it.
They double Summer House ratings,
but Summer House doesn't air.
If there was any show that they could have been like,
hey, you know what?
Let's just air the rest of the season.
In one day on a Saturday.
One day on Bravo.com.
Not even the streaming app.
Just put it on a website.
They could have done that.
But anyway, so Horse Dad,
the children are making the seamstresses a lot of money.
They should not be turning their back on it.
And so the audience should know, if you haven't't checked it out we are going to be doing two
episodes a week because bravo's dropping two episodes of below deck for the entirety of the
season until july 10th i think is the last episode for for the next three weeks they think it's a
great idea to unload the last six episodes of below deck sailing yep so we'll do tuesday night releases um and then uh
the second episode of the week will come either on friday or saturday yep so uh let's enjoy this
oh and by the way so we were and still will cover season one of below deck uh the og uh but we might
have to push off future episodes for a couple weeks to kind of clear it up it's just a little
too much below deck for dylan yeah yeah yeah i mean we love the show but we're not gonna
have bravo spit in our face like that you know what i mean and by the way any of you out there
if you can find a way uh we are we've been in contact with bravo con dylan and i want to host
a panel for below deck there anybody who knows anybody that can make that happen for us we're
in contact but it's coming up fast i think
in october or november dylan i really want to do it i may talk to him and to just go to vegas uh
with our wives and maybe do a meet and greet fan thing if you guys are buying tickets but that's
i'll shelf that for now because dylan is staring at me like what the fuck did you just no no no i'm
i took an edible this morning i i'm going to shit my pants at some point.
And did we talk about how pissing your pants is way harder than shitting your pants?
A hundred percent.
Yeah.
It is.
We did.
We talked about it, right?
Want to get in the show?
Yeah, I feel like it's because, you know, the anus is kind of like a Voldemort on the
back of the head kind of entity.
It's not really,
it's other,
you know,
what else is other this fucking episode.
I mean,
if I could do pots right now,
I know I'm pissed off at Bravo,
but this episode is a five pot episode.
It,
the thing that is making this show
hit whispering Aleens the way that it's never hit,
you said it last week perfectly,
they Vanderpumped us.
This thing, this throuple,
is getting a lot of attention.
So there are newcomers coming into the show.
It's getting picked up in the rags it's hot okay but as you mentioned and i believe i share the same opinion this is destroying the show that
we love so much absolutely what i want to see is the sea rats say, this is below deck. The sea rats serve half a cake
to people that paid for said cake.
They then proceed to eat the rest of the cake.
Then the guests say,
is there any more of that cake I paid for?
And then the sea rats go, whoa.
And we find out what happens next week.
That's the below deck we love. That's the below deck.
We love that's the below deck.
We love.
I don't want,
as I've mentioned on the last episode,
a three or six episode arc of the love triangle between Daisy,
Gary, and Colin.
I also mentioned,
and we brought up,
I think a new phrase for the Sea Rat world,
the idea of game of oars,
which is that there is a strategy and i thought quite a
bit about that uh as as we left that episode and i and i can't i hate the nipple on this coffee
it's a terrible nipple what's a nipple a little opening i don't even know how to open it i've
been drinking it through it like it's a crack at the top so i thought about it and i was like you know the best part oh well you've punched it too deep
oh no maybe flip it upside down yeah the best part about below deck is in fact there never
is a strategy dylan there is no game of oars right sea rats live solely on impulse
it forever there was a storyline saying hey some some deckie wants to be a captain someday.
He aspires to that.
The captain says, hey, tomorrow morning,
why don't you come up to the bridge?
I'll show you how to park the boat.
Said Sea Rat goes out the night before,
looks at his six shot of tequila,
and rather than say, hey, I better watch this.
My strategy is to be a good deckhand
and show up for that practice lesson tomorrow.
Fuck it.
Throw caution to the wind.
Get totally blackout drunk.
That is the blow deck. Zero strategy.
Living on impulse. I don't want
a storyline. I don't want a storyline.
We don't want Game of Wars.
I've watched now probably 400 episodes
of Blow Deck. The format is fine.
It doesn't need to be tweaked.
The emotional arc of
Daisy, Colin, and Gary,
I like two of you very much,
is over. It's complete at the end of this season. You guys have fully formed of your storyline. Thank you. Nice to know you.
And now let's clear the deck. Forgive me for saying that. Let's move on. And Dylan, you know,
often you and I in past seasons have made predictions
that i think are true we're almost like the miss cleo of the sea yeah in episode one of below deck
sailing somehow you and i were able to predict that a baby might be born out of the season in
episode one of sailing pretty nuts i believe it was season four of meta of med we predicted in the very first
episode hannah's gonna get kicked off for drugs i don't know how we did that once again i believe
we're the miss cleo of the sea yeah i think we could make another prediction i think we can make
another prediction what would that prediction be dylan uh the prediction is that uh you fuck around you find out this is not the game of oars this is there's no complex
government to a ball of rats in a gutter or on a boat in the middle of an ocean okay we're not
vying for parliamentary jumps on other people we're just binge drinking and fucking and subjecting the
wealthy to incompetence now when you think you are above the show when you think you can drag your
romance you're not capable of romance you're sea rats there's no commitment you're gonna have for
one another when you bring this stuff up it is mutually assured destruction i think next season
not only are we gary king is for sure gone that's a prediction for sure gone but i think we can say
goodbye to miss daisy and sadly mr collin that's a prediction dylan yeah we've been pretty good at
predictions we've been really wink we've been really really good
at prediction so given our back clairvoyance back to the dodger game giving our given our
a thousand percent batting average you know we saw a grand a grand slam last night i was like
i don't even care
i don't give a shit these people in front of us are trying to get everybody to do the wave.
And I'm like, this is what happens when you have 178 games a season.
Nobody gives a fuck.
Nothing matters, Dylan.
Our batting average is 1,000%.
So when we say goodbye uh gazey goodbye colin
sadly i feel as though we might have just showed their destiny for them um anyways let's get into
the show what the fuck happened this episode okay totally Okay, so we begin with Daisy and Colin. This is where the cliffhanger of last episode.
Daisy had just confessed
to Colin
that she's slept with Gary.
And I don't want to tell her how to do her
business, but look, girlfriend,
you drop
something like this after you've already had
an orgasm and his face looks like a glazed donut.
It can wait, is my point.
His face looks like a glazed donut it can wait is my point his face looks like
a glazed donut yeah yeah what are you fucking talking about he went down on her oh you have
sex you have an orgasm you're having fun you're mixing it up why ruin it with that piece of
information which by the way colin are you a fucking moron i as just a passive viewer on this
show knew gary and daisy have been fucking for
years get out of here you idiot that's a very evolved view to say that his face should have
the one with cum all over it isn't it i'm trying to grow as a person that's actually really fucking
cool pat i love that it's like uh it's like i dude hey uh before we have hot sex i probably
should tell you i banged your mom. What kind of idiot does that?
Right, right, right.
Because, you know, usually,
and especially with us being like, you know,
straight cis whites, which is so gross.
We're gross?
Yeah.
I kind of feel like I'm paying for the past,
my ancestors' behavior.
Well, you know what?
We're disgusting, so we have to.
I would have it no other way
fucking david letterman is on uh on smart list oh he's great and they're they're talking to him about uh progressiveness and how he couldn't get away with some of the
stuff and yeah his writer's room back and when he had the show and how he couldn't get away with some of the stuff in his writer's room back when he had the show
and how he feels about that.
And he goes, you know, I feel like now's the time
if we overcorrect and we make some mistakes,
then that's what we're going to have to do.
I think that's a lot better than the alternative.
Everybody's clapping.
You know, you can agree, you can disagree,
but one thing you can say is that Dave suffers no consequence.
Dave, there was no overcorrection.
The story dropped on Friday.
You were on air on Monday.
You made a few jokes.
The media said, look at him kind of making light of this.
I guess they're all moving past it.
And then we moved the fuck on.
You didn't pay any consequences.
You know, I think we should do anything and everything
to fix the industry that I made $500 million off of
and I'm about to die.
Dave, if any CEO of any company,
I don't care if it was a fucking Valvoline company,
if they did what you did on that show,
they would be fired immediately and possibly sued into the ground.
I think we got to overcorrect.
So anyways,
I think it was beautiful that we're moving on.
I think that Colin,
the only lie that Colin should not take umbrage with is this one daisy and gary for
a day and a half two days have been doing a lot of stuff that colin should be pretty pissed off
about yes the overt flirting overt flirting the lying he can you know he's he seems like a nice guy maybe nice to a fault but also he says
like mean things to be he's just a normal human being i think he's got enough intuition to know
that there's been some stuff that's been going on and i think that he can tell when daisy and
gary are lying to his face he should be upset about that stuff. Not that they had sex and that Gary didn't tell him.
Daisy didn't,
Daisy asked Gary specifically
to not talk to anybody about it.
One, because she's embarrassed.
And two, because she's embarrassed.
But the fact that Gary didn't tell anybody
is a good thing.
Is the only honorable thing he's done
the entire fucking season.
So this is where I'm like c-dog you gotta
calm down this you shouldn't be going to war over this exactly although i would argue gary was the
one who uh uttered it out of his mouth in the last episode on the sea rat day off so someone could
have heard it so he let the cat out of the bag then which then prompted her to get out ahead of
the story as yeah gary was, fucking you are so amazing.
And she's like, shut up, Gary.
Wow, she loved hearing him say that, by the way.
So Gary and Mads decide on bedtime.
We head back for a good night's sleep.
Again, the Searats wake the next morning to, oh, a little bit of uh a little bit of uh for telling chase wakes up and begins to destroy
a giant piece of cake in the morning wow hey dylan this is the next morning and often when
the sea rats awake for the new day i've noticed there's uh generally there's more than just
cleaning bedrooms and cleaning anchor chains there's in the past there's been generally there's more than just cleaning bedrooms and cleaning anchor chains
there's in the past there's been you know uh you know having to make uh apologize for offering to
take shots off someone's breasts yeah uh the n-word's been thrown around right right right
and that's like a crazy hypothetical or example but that's actually been done on this show
more than once yeah uh. And this morning,
they're dealing with the consequences
of lying and banging your coworker
to a dear friend.
Right.
Yeah, so it's a little different.
Normally, it's just,
yeah, I slept with a subordinate.
What are you going to do?
And it shows you how, like,
and listen,
I get that it's hard work,
but it's hard work only in that
it must be done.
It's not hard work in that the work is hard.
It's just that it has to get done.
So while your head's pounding,
it just goes to show you this. And I don't want to be too disrespectful. It has to get done. So... While your head's pounding.
It just goes to show you this,
and I don't want to be too disrespectful,
but it shines a light on what kind of work this is when it's often done in the throes of alcohol poisoning,
interpersonal stress,
and other things.
Those railings get cleaned.
Yeah.
Hell or high water.
But if you were, let's say you had to go in and pitch a marketing strategy.
Or maybe present a case to save a man's life.
I mean, they're just, you know.
Nope.
You're just cleaning shit out of a toilet bowl, Dylan.
And listen, this job is similar to that. You know, you have to have a little bit of a toilet bowl dylan and listen this is this job is similar to that
you know we we you have to have a little bit of a gift for it but we could do this show i mean i'm
about to shit my pants and i'm okay you know no shade but my god are you guys pathetic sometimes
it's so it's it's gotten so weird now that they all listen i wish it was like it back in the
day when nobody was listening and we could just you're talking about sea rats yeah the sea well
you know i love it it's one of my favorite things to do in the podcast you know but uh who doesn't
like to hear someone talk about them you know all right so daisy's very stressed as we mentioned alex goes uh stressed but why
alex not everybody can just get blackout drunk and have no recollection whatsoever what transpired
as pointed out generally uh being hung over coincides with severe anxiety i think a lot
of these sea rats have not known that over the years they're just like i'm having a panic attack no you're hung over right right well and also of course so colin
confronts gary about lying to him and can i take this call from sheree yeah yeah yeah
what's up honey you asked me to tell you that we're leaving we're leaving oh bring the kid
out here to say goodbye oh honey i'm running really
late it's 9 13 so if you can't come all right i'll come in and kiss her goodbye okay all right
so so pat is going to go kiss ellie goodbye and because he is a good father um and i am going to
no no no not yet he asked me if i needed to use the restroom and i don't need to use the restroom
quite yet because what i'm in the throes of is something that you cannot force you know i am not
the master of this situation this is the kind of thing that trust me i mean i've attempted to i've sat down and i've said let's go i'm ready
but it's not and when it is it will quicken its message it will tell me you ready to go yeah uh
okay so um yeah they confront each other about this lying thing but as i mentioned the lie here
is not the one that colin needs to pissed off about. This conversation should go,
hey, I saw that you motorboated Daisy yesterday.
I was really uncool with that.
Not, I can't believe you didn't tell me
you guys have had sex.
Well, all right.
So this is,
why am I even caring too much about this?
But Colin does.
This is the problem with the thruple.
We can't care that much about the thruple.
Especially when we know it's going to implode
because we all know, well, these are all sea rats,
not emotionally ready to engage in an actual relationship.
So Colin has not shared with Gary that he has feelings for Daisy.
has not shared with Gary that he has feelings for Daisy.
This is like watching a one-legged man charge in the front lines.
Odd example, but hear me out.
Let's say William Wallace is rallying the troops
and one of the characters has one leg
and somehow he's keeping up
and maybe he takes a guy or two down and you're like i'm
proud of him but there's no way he's going to survive he's not seeing the end of this battle
his fucking head chopped off eventually that's what happens that's the thruple that man died in
honor yeah and then he'll be buried in the ground and no one will ever remember him nobody maybe his
name will be scratched in on a rock and then people will walk
by with starbucks and go hey wonder who that is he's like if you only knew
nothing matters i killed nothing two young boys before i was decapitated
by their father imagine the pain he had to go through.
Enjoy the oat milk.
Okay.
Where are we?
All right.
So Gary and Colin and their conversation.
And that is when Gary goes full toxic and continues with this this is the thing that's kind of made me hate gary the most
this season is the egocentrism this everyone is doing things to me a cousin of a cousin reason being because i'm so it's just like the the most inflated
horseshit it's like dude you're a sunburnt sea rat you're a professional binge drinker and
womanizer you could not mean less brother and and again none of us mean anything yeah it's
think about that hero we
just talked about yeah your life i'd say at least you're having fun you know getting drunk you know
you're not getting your head chopped off you have both legs you're not living under a rock
you're alive you're having sex with 24 year olds yeah good for you dude good for you dude but you mean how dare you how dare you um is this when colin asks
uh says he's disappointed uh because he asked gary if he's hiding anything else i think at this
point gets nasty here colin gets nasty yeah i think gary that's when he says uh yeah glenn's
a serial killer and then they both laugh and then they move on. But we know better.
Yes, we will throw one of those in every episode because you mentioned you don't like it.
So now we're going to double down on it.
It's so odd.
And this isn't a good thing to admit that we...
I have no real tuning to what the audience would want to listen to.
But I mean,
maybe that's why the podcast is great because we just do what's funny to us.
That's right.
But I,
I had no idea that people really did not like that.
Glenn's a serial killer thing.
And it is unfortunate for them because now that we do know that there is
a certain amount of uh disdain for it there is nothing we can do but double down on it
i mean my god i'm really looking forward to it so we move on thank god there's fucking shit and
piss that you have to wipe off the walls because that's what we have to get to next.
Well, I was going to say, Lucy is getting her degree in sports management.
Yes.
Good for you, Lucy.
Yes.
Good for you.
And her name is not Lucy.
It is Lucky.
And I guess I just text Kalen, our producer, who's not here this morning to provide us with the preference sheet.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He says, no, boss, I'm at work.
He's at his other job today.
Okay. Well, let's give him a real uh quick call okay um let's see if he can just take it
off the top of his head perhaps yeah yeah and this should probably be a tradition moving forward
because this there's no way this isn't going to be um caitlin he's probably not even going to answer
oh he knows better than to answer from you.
How do you like the coffee?
It's delicious.
It's not too strong, but I know it is strong because my heartbeat is starting to increase.
Really?
Really?
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
Yeah, I'm really disappointed in him. Well, to to be fair i didn't give him a heads up i kind of just text him this morning if he'd be into it yeah
while you're uh doing whatever you're doing you want me to continue what does he think i'm going
to yell at him no i think he thinks you're going to do exactly what you're doing right now which is
you're going to try and get him on air and back him into a corner about that preference sheet oh yeah yeah yeah that is
what i was gonna do yeah he knows you all right well let's get to the preference oh you have it
i don't even write it down anymore uh yeah it is uh a woman and don't come for me. I'm aware that her name is not
Stu Hinya, but I
was watching this.
It's the second, third
episode we've watched this week.
I'm fatigued. I don't have
her name specifically. She is a
lovely woman, not named
Stu Hinya, but it's close to
that.
She is of the Caribbean.
I mean, these people are just lovely guests.
They're lovely guests, and they're primarily focused on the food.
So, and I'm sorry I didn't mention this.
The only reason this episode gets five pots
is because of the job that alicia does tonight to make caribbean food for black people who have
actual roots in new york it's very very important to them to pull this off the way that she did
is nothing short of amazing now dylan does she does she go, I mean, obviously a trained chef,
but to then just take a deep dive and pull it off
into probably food that she's never actually prepared?
Does she go to some kind of website or something?
How does she do this?
She probably goes to, okay, so this is what she does.
So there's a trans person on on bon appetit who's wearing a
bear midriff and they're talking about how their grandmother used to make goat curry and so they'll
watch that i gotcha and they'll be like that person has a lot of earrings in their... Anyways, they look cool.
She watches a YouTube video?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, that's how I put together most furniture
when it shows up.
I just...
But what that will do is it will get you over the line,
but you need to have a certain kind of...
Je ne sais quoi?
Je ne sais quoi to make it sing the way that she does.
Gotcha.
Okay.
Yeah, it's the finishing touches that really brings it home.
Yeah, because there are spices that you don't exactly know how they dance with hot oil.
You don't know what they perfume into the longer they're in a pot of rice.
what they perfume into the longer they're in a pot of rice,
you know,
things like that get understood by a generational oration and tradition,
you know?
So good job,
Alicia.
But yeah, they want,
uh,
they want oxtail.
They want Johnny cakes.
I mean,
this is,
this is some serious,
delicious black food.
Um,
you know,
what do we have?
Fucking beef Wellington.
Get out of here with that.
It's the most complicated fucking thing in the world to make for nothing.
For filet mignon with fucking puff pastry.
I would, you know, you consider American cuisine.
I have white people food.
Oh yeah.
I always thought that was hot dogs and macaroni and cheese.
That was served at my house four days a week.
It's pretty delicious.
No, it's good.
But I mean.
All right.
So Gary goes and talks to Mads and tells her about the whole Daisy thing.
She has the perfect response.
Go away.
I loved it.
Because he's like, I'm not going gonna get drawn in your attempt to make me jealous
get lost who gives a shit she is so rock solid this girl she's she's completely
she she's responsibly and appropriately detached from everything in this environment.
She's really well-suited for this.
And when you're really well-suited for it,
it means you should probably be doing something else
because you have too much potential.
You want to talk about Game of Wars.
If I were to say that one person is on this boat with a strategy,
well, we did have Eat Ashley from a couple seasons ago
who I guess went off to, what's that site
where you get to see girls' boobs and butts?
Only Fans.
I think she's doing pretty well over there.
She had a game plan coming into being on TV.
She's crushing it.
I think she's earning like $425 a month.
$425?
Yeah.
Oh.
Well, anyway, I think Mads here is doing a really good job
because she's very good at her job, I'd say.
And then also, she's not really getting overwhelmed emotionally
by any of Gary's bag of tricks that typically work on other Sea Rats of the past.
Starting an OnlyFans is kind of like starting a Twitter account.
But when you start a Twitter account, you're like, I'm going to tweet things I think are wrong with the world.
And you put yourself out there.
It's a little embarrassing.
And nobody really comes.
With OnlyFans, it's a little worse
because you take pictures of your asshole
and you post them on the internet.
And then nobody comes.
It's pretty rough.
Both hurt, though.
You know?
Oh, yeah.
Both hurt.
Wow, two views.
Ouch.
Yeah.
Thought I'd get more.
A lot of people told me I had a nice asshole.
Yeah, that's crazy because I have the wrong end of a hammer shoved up my vagina.
And someone just tipped me a dollar.
Can we just go back to like, can we just calm down?
Porn should be in magazines and VHS tapes.
Maybe DVDs.
All right.
So Daisy and Colin with this throuple stuff really just continues.
All right, this drives me nuts recapping something like this
because all day long, it's just mopey Colin being bummed
that she should have told him before they hooked up.
Yeah.
She did kind of.
And then Gary proceeds.
My favorite part is Gary just telling everybody on the boat
exactly what was going on.
I love the underlings examining the ruin of the top three chase was
great um and so is alex uh he finally hears what's going on from mads and he's just like
these are three of the most dramatic people i have ever met in my life and it really is is it's so dramatic overdramatic oh my god who even if you were not
even if you were not in a sea rat relationship like you were in a theater where this actually
could mean something like you're in just a city where people live and there's land
this still wouldn't need to get this melodramatic now if my friend uh if colin was my friend and we
went over at marcos's restaurant there downtown and we were catching up and he told me about this
i'd be like so so you're saying you didn't know that gary and daisy were fucking yeah
yeah okay all right can i ask you a question um why why does it matter
i guess yeah it's a great question um did we already slide past the part where gary and daisy
chat and they talk about them being core friends and gary
proposes a solution to this drama on board that only a a sea rat of this caliber could what does
he say why don't we just have a threesome does he really say that yeah it was really fast. There is nothing Gary would like to do more than high-five Colin
with both of their cocks in Daisy at the same time.
Not only does he want to do that,
there is a part of him that may think it can make things better.
It's right out of the sea.
I have an idea, Daze.
Oh, my God.
You ever been to Paris?
All right.
So they talk about Mads DMs.
I don't know where we are.
Okay.
So why don't we just get to the guests arrive?
Thank God.
Thank God.
Snacks are served. Who gives a shit? and then the boat leaves the dock dylan and this is where for the
third time for the third time i'm so happy we just got to this point this vessel threatens to burn
everyone alive on the boat this boat is a hunk of junk yeah it absolutely did not uh do the castle run in 12 parsecs no
needs to be docked possibly for six weeks to be overhauled i appreciate the efforts of colin but
at this point you're putting a band-aid over a stab wound and you're going to get multiple
people burned alive you fucking sea rat yeah yeah yeah
parsifal is like you're in 7-Eleven
and some guy just walks down the aisle
and then you hear like a slip
and you look down
and there is a river of blood behind him
and you're like,
oh my God, what's going on?
And he lifts up his shirt
and there's just this just gorge
and he's got a little bandaid on it
and you're like,
well, that's clearly not going to you're gonna die now that's the boat that's the boat dude um but yeah they take it up to uh
i think like 12 to 15 knots and obviously it begins smoking um that it it's so crazy that colin has been kind of it's a little bit like a an abusive relationship
colin in this boat um colin has a bit of stockholm syndrome because when they cut to the engine room
there are three or four different shots no fit. There are no fits. There are no
seams. There are these like lips where there's some mesh fucking aluminum netting on top of a
fucking thing. And there's smoke coming out of it. And you're like, this is what you do when you're
on a fixed income and you own a car that's 10 years old you get in that person's car i've been that person there's
duct tape everywhere there's things sticking out right and you understand that this person is kind
of struggling a little bit with money so you can say they're just trying to get to the next week
so they can go down to the car lot and purchase a new vehicle right this is a million dollar yacht with people paying to be on it we are the expectations are a little higher um all right so um smell oil the
guest wonderful the guest smell oil and gary runs down in a panic colin tells him to chill the fuck
out and gary says uh no i'm not gonna chill the fuck out there was a fire alarm it's this thing where it's cool that uh they both have
this opinion on the matter um and i want i don't care about them anymore no that's they've they've
reached their emotional impact on this series it is time to go and you've made that very apt
prediction that uh they've gotten handed their walking papers yeah bravo's not renewing is the prediction that we're making that's the prediction
all right so alicia burns her fucking thumb off and in a really crazy way i mean this is a real
burn this was during sailing i believe so far so good glenn said. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Only one person lost a limb. Right.
This wasn't a burn in that, like, it starts to blister a little bit.
This was like, no, the skin is coming off.
There's going to be a little pus, but it's fine.
So we move on to the guests.
They're looking for a pina colada.
Then we have some fun times in the water.
And then we get on a call is this colin calling his sister she seems to be a straight shooter
she also is fucking gorgeous i don't know this family they're like
like oceania kind of royalty look they both look like they could be disney prince and princess um
but she's also got such a good head on her shoulders she's right about every single
fucking thing she tells colin she's just like i'd be super embarrassed if i was daisy too i'd want
to keep that like kind of uh beneath the floor boards in a edgar allen poe kind of way yes well it's uh
the clarity of sitting on the sidelines not with a hangover that allows someone to actually call
it as sure yeah yeah exactly um all right so the crew had to uh set up a little Lowe's clearance sale on the beach.
You know, Gary's.
Oh, we'll wrap up the episode in a bit because the dinner is.
I want to get to the dinner, but there's a beautiful moment here where Gary comes up to Mads and he says in Spanish.
So what's going on with us
love?
Was this a Luan De Cepitas type of game?
They won't hear what I'm saying.
I never tell.
I never tell.
What are you doing right now? Well she told the pirate
that she got anal sex from in the bushes.
Don't tell and she did it in a
different language.
And of course, Bravo being this,
the savvy producers they are,
they just subtitled their entire conversation.
It was wonderful.
I never tell.
And Johnny Depp, the pirate that had sex with her,
was like just nodding away.
Right.
So she took it in the can in the books.
Her and Sonya were saying she took it in the butt or something like that.
It was funny.
Great time in,
in, in real house.
I love that.
I can't wait for the Lou,
for Lou and,
and,
and Sonya show.
Everybody watch it.
But Mads is like,
what?
Gary's like,
so what's happening with us love? And she just takes a beat and she looks at him and she is like, what? Gary's like, so what's happening with us, love?
And she just takes a beat and she looks at him and she's like,
what the fuck are you talking about?
She is all of us.
She is like, get away from me.
But then she fucks him at night.
Yes.
And I just listen, Mads, get your rocks off if you want to get your rocks off but
you're rightly annoyed and repulsed by this guy so i don't know no judgment but i'm just like how
can you fuck him well it's just casual sex as she puts it yeah and that has its place in in in our
connections with people totally using each other to flip our tabbies and come and especially sea rat life exactly yeah uh now i should mention this conversation is taking place
as paying customers are on the beach uh wanting to be served and that is when chase steps up to
light cigars make cocktails do various service things yes and uh that's where i don't remember
daisy's always been pretty decent at her job. It's this season, I guess.
She's completely enraptured.
She's completely tied up in this throuple.
She's at the beach talking to Gary about how he needs to apologize to Colin.
And this is when Gary goes full meanie and says, no, I'll never do it.
But we get back to the boat and we go to a dinner that is
filled with heritage first up chicken stew with sauteed veggies and johnny cakes the primary
is she she kind of gives the context that this food means a lot to her because her grandmother was a matriarchal figure in their community in new york and this food is i i believe her when she
says that it's taking her back um and restoring a connection to familial energy
but it looks like she has shit on her on her on the top of her lip i mean she's she looks
like she's absolutely disgusted by the food i mean i know she's crying but she's eating it and
she just has this face where she's like i think i'm gonna throw up she's moved dylan and for the
audience i had a little fun because i'm curious whenever someone tells me about some kind of food
or whatever i gotta look it up because i'm fascinated by it. A Johnny cake is, in fact, an all corn pancake, generally made of flour, eggs, baking powder, milk or buttermilk,
vanilla, and some spices. In other words, a pancake. The origin, it's fried bread called
the journey cake, which would be filled. And I always love when a type of food can either be
savory or sweet. It could be filled with meat or fish.
And this was, yes, in the Caribbean originally served.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Similar to a hoe cake, slaves would make them on...
I was going to read the next line.
Generally filled and eaten while working on the fields.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So the sad part about that is that the heat,
the hot, hot conditions that the slaves had to work in
heated the Johnny Cakes up to such a degree
that you could, or the hose up,
that you could actually make corn cakes on them.
And that's just the indelible spirit of human beings, you know.
And next dish.
Oh, sure.
Is, I think, rice and peas with coconut milk.
That right there.
That is probably the toughest thing to pull off.
And then we've got, I think, Oxtail Stew.
Gary is losing his mind in his OTFs.
He's literally saying, fuck him, to Colin.
So this is just completely just ripped apart at the seams.
These sea rats, at the end of the day,
they really don't know one another
that well. Their entire life is
predicated on going
out, getting fucked up, fucking each other.
It's supposed to be surface level
relationships. That's right.
When you go into the rest of the
iceberg, we get yucked
out because you can't handle it.
It's disgusting stuff.
Being in touch with your feelings. If you're a
sea rat is that's a no fly zone
in general terms. The
oxtail stew is delicious.
Alicia literally knocked
it out of the park. No, she literally
didn't.
There's no park on the show.
So literally she didn't but figuratively she did uh she is
love that word literally he literally killed him no he didn't no he's no he's there yeah
he's still walking around you mean he was mean to him yeah he's literally mean to him
okay we end with a cake, Kate,
as we mentioned in the beginning of the show.
Was it Daisy that said,
before dinner service is over,
to the rest of the crew,
you can indulge?
She said she eats the cake,
and Chase goes,
what if they want more?
And she goes,
slow your roll, buddy.
Calm down, pussy.
Okay, it's fine.
And sure enough,
they want more cake.
This is the show show that sequence right there is the show not colin daisy and gary they're not personalities
strong enough to handle this kind of thing we don't and it's not the right environment it's just
it's not the right kind of show i agree agree. You know, I would like it to be
back to the origin of this show, which was back in the heyday of it and just having fun. And just
remind the audience as we wrap up here, don't I assume we're wrapping up. Dylan and I are taking
a little break from season one of the OG with CJ, Kat, Sam, Porcupinehead,
and Lee.
Uh,
we're going to take a break for three weeks while we wrap up this.
But before we do depart,
we will drop an episode this week.
And I just emailed her and it looks like she's confirmed to recap episode three of season one with Sam.
Yep.
That's going to be a fun episode.
It's going to be a fun episode.
So when that shows up in your feed this week,
definitely,
uh, hit play definitely hit play.
Hit play.
Love you guys very much.
I'm Dylan saying goodbye.
Pat,
say goodbye.
Later dudes! Love