Another Below Deck Podcast - Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy | Below Deck S9 E9

Episode Date: July 30, 2024

Dylan and Pat are back to break down how mojitos aren't orange, Ian being a bonder of worlds, espionage, woodshop, the McCarthy hearings and more from Bravo's Below Deck Med. Ad Free and Uncensored at Patreon.com/AnotherPodcastNetworkYoutube at https://www.youtube.com/@anotherbelowdeckpodcast_Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/badtvpodcast/Facebook Group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/anotherbelowdeckpodcastGo to MagicMind.com/BelowDeck and Use code BELOWDECK20Use code BADTV in the Tropical Smoothie App 

Mm-hmm. Very short tip meeting. Very short tip meeting. I'll talk to you, Ian, because I think you're talking to walls or in another dimension or something. But either way, I got to talk to you because I don't trust you. Ian, we got to talk about your performance and you got to tell me what Mercury is like because no human's ever been there.

So we get to Ian and Sandy. He's got such a pissy, confused attitude about the whole thing. He goes, I'm just going to keep smiling. Don't worry about smiling. Worry about seeing things that exist. Hi, hello. Welcome to another brand spanking new episode of another below deck podcast. My name is Dylan. I'm saddled up next to Patrick Hickey. Patrick Hickey. Permission to come aboard. Granted. Tonight we have an episode that is going to be very difficult to break down. I felt like watching this

show, this episode was like watching Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy. I was like, who is, who is manipulating who, who is planting evidence against the other? Is anybody planting evidence against the other? It was the kind of tale of espionage that kind of imbues in you a sense of paranoia. Of course you're describing the people at odds that you're describing are Ellie and cheese of course. Biscuit and cheese, yeah.

Yeah, biscuit and cheese. Very very confusing episode, but lovely nonetheless. Before we get into it, today's episode is brought to you by Tropical Smoothie Cafe and Magic Mind, two unbelievable companies that will transport you to happiness in different ways. We'll talk about them later on in the show, patreon.com slash another podcast network for ad free episodes and additional content. Yeah. You get another podcast show there for five bucks. Also, we're going to be moving our coverage of The Bachelorette. Yes. I think we're going to do one more free episode, then

that's going to be behind a paywall. Yes. And I will in the coming week or so, drop the completely unedited Carrie interview at another podcast. Oh, cool. Even with me pretending to be Captain Lee? Yeah. There were a lot of things in the episode that, you know, the powers that be, we're not too thrilled about. But if you would like to see the full unedited version, that'll be at patreon.com slash another podcast network. Probably. Yeah, it'll be there. It'll be there. Okay. So we have to get into this episode. Can you hit the timer for me, babe?

Just because we're not. Listen, it's Patty's B-Day. We have a beautiful dinner to go to. We're gonna rip right through this thing and do our best to tell you what happened on this episode of Below Deck. Pat, how many pots would you give it? Well, speaking of the Ellie and,

she's got three different names, the Balkan Biscuits and Cheese's Drama. So let's think about this for a second. Okay. Because I was like, as I'm watching these two go at it and then Kermit being kind of dumbstruck at who to kind of in the same place that you are with them. All right. So I think-

Well, I think you must be too. Well, all right. So let's break down the game film. So Balkan Biscuit can be manipulative. She can stretch the truth. We've seen her do this. Can I have some of your San Pellegrino? It looks really good. Of course. Also, I've noticed Cheese, she can kind of take part in that type of behavior as well.

One thing that separates the two is that Cheese is absolutely incompetent. So is this, I mean, that cheese is absolutely incompetent. So is, I mean, Ellie's kind of incompetent too. You think so? Well, I mean, that's what's so confusing. Where the cabin's not done because she didn't have time to do them. No, that's her being manipulative. That's what I'm saying.

So you're kind of like, but is the mojito orange because she's being manipulative? Okay. I hear you. She did fuck up on that. Oh, maybe it's more, I need to add more Bacardi. No, it's orange. No, it's a, it's completely, it's like handing somebody a purple bloody Marion going, Oh, I know what the problem is. It needs more vodka. It's like, no, no, no, this is, it's all wrong. It's a good point. no, no, this is, it's all wrong. It's a good point. Yeah. It's a good point. But I will say this, let me, let me throw this out at the audience.

If the ball, and don't get me wrong, the Balkan biscuit at this point is definitely trying to eliminate competition. She's trying to eliminate someone that is not helping her at her job. She's absolutely doing that right now. But in a different alternate reality, another chief stew comes in, a third stew that is actually competent and isn't going after the same guy that she's going after. Is Ellie a completely different person? I say quite possibly yes. Yeah, I think so. I think so. Maybe possibly. Yes. So based on that we got to get rid of cheese

I'm sorry cheese. You got to go. I mean Cheese is like was that movie where the guy he's like He got hired by the CIA. Are you talking about Tinker Tailor soldier spy? No, I'm talking about John Nash John Nash from a beautiful mind, you know, he's like looking at all the fucking Newspapers and he's trying to decode it because like spies are trying to connect with one another. Yeah. That's what she does with those tags on people's pants.

Yeah. And then losing her mind. Yeah, it's not very complicated. And it's what happened. You know, it happens to a lot of people who are insane. They go insane. Bobby Fisher thought the Jews were trying to move his chess pieces around. And John Nash started seeing, you know, things. So I'm not really.

Oh, I'm not really having patience anymore with you because you haven't given your. Oh, I'm sorry. OK. All right. People are losing their minds. People are going insane on this boat right now. Yeah. I thought it was a good episode. I don't like it when they're an hour and 15. That's too much below deck for my taste. That being said, 40 dots. Okay. So I think that, yeah, if, if, If perplexing narratives need to serve a purpose, if we are in a film or a story where there is a purpose to the confusion and maybe that was a kind of meta device

all along and you get it, then that's cool. But if a narrative is just confusing for the sake of being confusing, then you're like, oh,'s cool. But if a narrative is just confusing for the sake of being confusing, then you're like, oh, I have an emptiness in me. I have a void. And that's what transpired in my void tonight. When I tried to decipher what this drama was all about, it kind of took away from the drama to a certain degree. But still a very fun episode. 50 pods. Trey Lockerbie You know, I was going to mention with People from the drama to a certain degree. But still a very fun episode, 50 pods.

You know, I was gonna mention, with people losing their minds, another character on this show, Ian, also losing his mind. I mean, in a major way. Well, he's like, he's like got the opposite of that kid in the movie Sixth Sense. He doesn't only not see dead people, he doesn't see living people.

He doesn't see living people. Yeah, he'd be the worst husband in a cuck porn. Hey, why aren't you crying? That dude's banging your wife over there. He's like, I don't see what you're talking about. No, there is literally a guy banging your wife. You're sitting next to him. I don't know what you're talking about.

I don't see living people. Anyway, people are losing their minds. I mean, I just imagine how much worse her of a movie, that movie would be if Haley Joel Osment is all cold and shivering underneath that blanket. And he says, I don't see living people. You know, it'd be like, what's going on here? Right.

And there's a new Web Nightight Chamalant coming out. Looks pretty good. Yeah. Yep. It's about a serial killer at a Sabrina Carpenter concert, I think. Oh, great. Yeah.

I'm in. Let's get into the show. Sure. So last we left off, we were heading back to the marina and Cheese was soliciting aid in laundry from other Sea Rats. And to Cheese, I would say, Cheese, laundry is not a multiple Sea Rat job. Okay. It doesn't require the paws and claws of more than one Sea Rat to get the job done.

So Cheese is a moron. We've got some anchor pole stuff. Joe says that being lead deckhand doesn't mean that he has to know everything. And Nathan can tell him that he's doing things wrong or can teach him about things that he knows nothing about. And he can be a lead deckhand. Let's apply this to another occupation. I would love to do so.

Okay. Quarterback. You're a surgeon, a plastic surgeon. Okay. Hey doc, I can't wait for my new face. Well, I'm actually, I'm a doctor more by title than by skill set. Right, right, right. Then I'd say, get me out of this chair. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. And let's use the quarterback analogy, right?

So you have a resume that says that you aren't good at this. And some team puts you on the field on the grid iron, you throw 15 interceptions in one quarter and you're concussed numerous times. Post game, we have a conversation about you remaining in that position because being the leader of the team doesn't mean you need to know anything about what you're actually doing, even though there are more qualified people to take your position. And I know that this is a little long winded, but it is patently fucking insane that one, he's in that position and two, he has to fake it to make it this

hard. Faking it to make it is okay when it's done in the shadows, a secret with yourself. But when you're telling everybody that you're faking it to make it, that's when it's like, oh, this is weird. And an added variable, you can get people killed. So negative on the port guys, Ian does not see living people. There's this issue where he doesn't see people and here's this thing. So Sandy goes, we need the port guys. He goes, there's no port guys.

Now there's a boat leaving right next to them. And it's like, if you see a dorsal fin coming through the water, that's usually a strong indication of a shark coming towards you that you have to punch super hard in the nose, lest you have a leg taken off. You don't need to actually see the people if a boat is leaving. You can assume that they're there. Right? So he's, he is, I, there's something going on where his brain isn't taking in the imagery of the world or he's stuck between realms. I think that's the better answer. The latter. Yeah. Cause I can't figure this character out. So he's also very poopy pants about the whole thing. Wake up, poopy pants.

He is poopy pants. He's not taking ownership of his. So poopy pants about the whole thing. So up, poopy pants. He has poopy pants. He's not taking ownership of his. So poopy pants about the whole thing. So Aisha heads down to the laundry room and we finally learn the truth about the dynamic between Cheese and Biscuit and the burn book. They're both in their very own psych ward on this boat. These two girls are causing one another to lose their respective minds. And cheese does confess that she was writing down the crimes of Ellie as insurance of any accusations that may be brought. She was keeping receipts. Yeah, she was keeping receipts, which is fucking insane. Now I will say this though. Whenever I worked for a corporation, of course, I've been an

entrepreneur for a number of years. I haven't had to work for the man, but they would tell me to write down things. If something was going wrong, write it down. Because if you don't, then we don't have any record of it. So she's kind of, you know, doing what I guess she's supposed to do. But the bad part of it is, why don't you put that under your bed? The memo to the file is a file on your computer that you have access to. Maybe the pathways to access it are a little buried, right? It's not code words, CRAT. It. Open with the I'll get this bitch titled on the cover. Yeah. I mean, Regina George's burn book was at the house. And they pulled it out when they went over to the house. And, you know, Amy Poehler said, if you guys need

a drink, that's fine. And it's one of the most perfect movies ever made. And Tim Meadows is a very, very underappreciated part of that film. He's just a masterful comedian. Wouldn't you say? I think him. I think he's hilarious. So very exciting news.

Sandy is going to be getting married to Leah. And I said that this was going to be very boring in the beginning of the season. I've turned such a corner on Sandy. I mean, I could not be more excited to see this. It makes my heart sing and soar for her and Leah. I think Sandy's found her stride. The audience has noticed I've warmed to her.

She has come around to me. She's a better captain now. She's a better captain now. So we dock. Ian, once again, excels as the leader of this team. It's a complete fucking disaster. She tells him to keep the lines out of the water when she's moving, and the air bubbles start to scream,

indicating that the yacht is moving. And I think that Ian, almost like a three-year-old child, just takes the lines and throws them into the propeller, into the boat. I mean, I don't know what's going on with this dude. Yeah. You know, I was at a in the eighth. He's a milkshake drinker, this guy.

In the eighth grade in our shop class, Mr. O'Malley, our teacher, he was a NAMM. He told us all, when the wood shop's going, and the blades are flying around, don't put your appendages near any of those goddamn things. You'll lose a fucking finger. There was this kid, Steve, he, when no one was looking,

or he thought no one was looking and the blades were spinning around, he'd put his fucking finger next to the blades spinning around there. And Mr. O'Malley at some point had to go, hey, shit bird, cut it out. He called everybody shit bird. I don't know where it came from.

Well, it came from the drill and tractors. Well anyway, my point in saying that is some people, it just doesn't make any sense. Ian could be trying to get everybody killed for all I know or himself or everyone. Vietnam was a, just a horrific proving ground for people like, what was his name? Mr. O'Malley. Mr. O'Malley. I mean, Mr. O'Malley came back from that conflict, having seen things that none of the children would ever lay eyes on, and having to relate to them

and then teach them was possibly insurmountable for him. But he went about it with pride and professionalism, something that Ian does not have. Yeah, yeah. Boy, don't ever ask a guy from NAMM if he killed anyone. I made that mistake and he punched me in the face. You can do that in the 80s. Yeah, I think we talked about it last episode. We haven't even discussed the chemical horror of Agent Orange used to slaughter the canopies

to make visibility increase by tenfold. You know what? You just got me thinking this son of a bitch, this old bastard. Okay. So at some point he used to tell tales of his time in NAMM and he told us about his first day when he got off. And we'll get back to the Ledeck and stuff. He got off the chopper, right?

He told me the first thing that he saw and I will spare the audience, but it's pretty horrific. Yeah. When you share that kind of stuff and then a 13 year old asks you if you killed anybody, okay? The incorrect reaction is not to punch that person. You're already trying to brag about all the weird and disgusting and horrific shit you saw. I was just, you know, asking a question.

Yeah. If you were a nom and you're teaching a 13 year old, you don't need to ask him, have you ever seen shin meat slide off a bone? Because that's what napalm does to human flesh. You don't need to go into the kind of nitty gritty detail about that stuff. But, you know, we can understand why you might. Let's top it up. Tropical smoothie. Oh my God. Yeah. Let's get out of NAMM and let's go sit on the beach somewhere. The canopies on the Tropic Time beach are not being blown away by the advanced chemical and ballistic munitions of the US military. That's right. They are vibrant, lush, and speaking to you.

And there are dolphins there. It's a dolphin over there, Dale. He wants some of my tropical smoothie. No, you can't have it, Mr. Dolphin. I'm gonna have all my tropical smoothie. What kind of thing are you drinking? I'm drinking a mango mocktail and it's delicious. So good.

Sit on a beach, having a Kai bowl, be a peanut butter nutter and flip and have an amazing time, okay? They have over 1400 locations. They have an app. You can use promo code bad TV in that app to get you to a place of bliss. Do you want me to keep filibusting? So there's mango, there's guava, there's peach, there's mint, there's watermelon. All of these flavors can be yours with Tropical Smoothie Cafe. And when they are yours, you will be on Tropic Time.

And when you're on Tropic Time, seagulls are less annoying. Dolphins are even more magical. Killer whales and sperm whales, they actually get along underwater. The power of one drink resounds out over the waters and into the coral. It is an un... I can't do it anymore. I can't do it anymore. I ran out of gas. I mean, I don't know what you're pulling up. I don't know why it's taken so long, but you know, I'm done. Well, it's these goddamn ad-based things with that conglomerate YouTube. Yeah.

I'm done. Well, it's these goddamn ad base things with that conglomerate YouTube. Yeah. Okay. Why don't you just say what you, why don't you, Pat, why don't you just say what you were going to play? I was going to play flipper. You're going to play flipper. Yeah. It was, you're going to play, you're going to play flipper. You know, I got to get that new plan on YouTube where I don't have to. Yeah, it's It was all worth it go to tropical smoothie one of the, one of the other 1,500 locations and get the app. Use promo code bad TV. I mean, I'm furious with you, right? I understand. I deserve all of it.

So, yeah, I know what I'll do. I'll make you feel better. The guests depart and then Gail flirts with Nathan and a producer asks, Nathan if hooking up with a sea rat is dangerous and he says yes but he likes it. Yeah. You know what he wouldn't like? A drone over the top of his head. Poor son of a bitch is going bald. Yeah. It's best he doesn't know it. Yeah. You know because he I don't think he does but he's got a big little round circle on the crown of his head.

You know, happens to the best of us. It really does. You know, my, my buddy Sebastian, who was featured famously in an episode of kitchen nightmares with Gordon Ramsay. Yeah. The closest Gordon Ramsey ever came to physically fighting another human. Yeah. Anyway, Sebastian started going bald when he was 22. It was almost like asking God, why bother even give me hair in the first place if you're going to take it away at 22.

Yeah. Most of my life- You jerk. Most of my life, I'll not have hair. I mean, I didn't really get hair until I was two or three years old. And then little did I know that two short decades later, you would rip it all off my head. And then I'd have to go and live out the rest of my years without hair. One of those years would involve an incident I had with Gordon Ramsey, the G-Man, where I'd be embarrassed on national television about how dumb my restaurant is. And I would move to greener pastures of the Tri-State area to start a tree

trimming company because I'm clearly not good at this. And that's a hard lesson to learn, especially without hair. So I think I'm high now. Gail calls Nathan a tiny dickhead or something. Oh, she, she says that his, his penis is small or something like that. And then she says, yet to be confirmed. I am going to give Gail a hard time in this episode a little later on.

I am not happy with how this was handled. I'm not happy with how Kermit handles this. I'll get to them. So we get to the tip meeting. Mm-hmm. Very short tip meeting. Very short tip meeting. I'll talk to you, Ian, because I think

you're talking to walls or in another dimension or something. But either way, I got to talk to you, because I don't trust you. Ian, we got to talk about your performance, and you got to tell me what Mercury is like, because no human's ever been there. So we get to Ian and Sandy. He's got such a pissy confused attitude about the whole thing. He goes, I'm just going to keep smiling. Don't worry about smiling.

Worry about seeing things that exist. Do it with a frown. That's right. Just as long as you're seeing things. I mean, let's walk through this. Are we running into a rock right now? Nope. Can't see any rock we're going to run into. And then everybody's dead. Now Ian, there actually was a rock there. So you kind of messed up. What's going on? Yeah. Yeah, man. You kind of messed up. Okay.

Kermit sets up that white party or yeah. Meanwhile, Joe may be a person. Oh, I've got a lot of mean wiles. Oh, that cause they're all going out tonight. And meanwhile, Kermit sets up that white party. Meanwhile, Joe is gonna, he's gonna choose to hook up with Balk and Biscuit. And meanwhile, Gail's boyfriend and his texts continue to be ignored. Boy, did those two hook up too, huh?

A little bit. Oh, oh yeah. And the back seat of that van. He's running his cock in the back seat, man. You know, with, with cheese later on, get ahead of myself. They were so awful, with cheese later on, get ahead of myself. They were so awful to cheese. When she requested, hey, do you mind not hooking up with him in front of me? I understand you guys will hook up.

And she's like, okay. Like when you think about it, it's like it was a foot and a half away from her nose. Yeah. Okay. So we talked to the Balkan. We'll get to it later. It's pure fucking psychotic behavior to do this as pointedly as it was done. Yes.

And Joe is a fucking asshole too. I agree. So let's get ready for the night out. The texts come, do you even love me anymore, from Gail's boyfriend who she loves. Hey, dude, don't send texts like that. It makes you look really pathetic. It does.

But these are the, as human beings, we have to do. The death throes. Yes. You have to go through this little cycle of it's basically throwing a, what do you call it, a Hail Mary out there. And it usually does not succeed. But you got to at least do it to see if the person cares about you enough.

And clearly, she did not. No. She if the person cares about you enough. Yes. And clearly she did not know she has quite the recovery after that breakup. Yeah. Spick and span. So we get to dinner. We're doing white. Ian is asking for milkshakes in, you know, at this point I was like, you're making a thing of it, dude.

But and he was making a thing of it. You can have a drink, man. Just don't be weird. Don't be asking for milkshakes. You don't need to go out. And I think I applaud you for not going out because when you're some kind of bondsmith torn between multiple dimensions, you, it's not a good idea. That's a very, very fragile mental state to be in. And whatever cosmic shamanic entity spoke to him before he embarked on this journey warned him not to commit one way or the other. You have to be an intermediary. And if you're going out and getting fucked up and drinking and waking up at 11 o'clock in the morning, heaving like SpongeBob without

water, you're going to lose your mind. That's right. So I'd say the only thing he could do, because he is stuck between realms. Yeah. He's in a different dimension now. The only thing he could do to help himself is to not get so drunk to add to the issues.

Yeah, keep the. He's still in another dimension. Right. But keep the faculties clean. Keep the cogs spinning. Lest our entire universe collapse. I mean, can you imagine the fact that this is the guy who's getting drawn and quartered by multiple dimensions and we have to depend on him to keep our universe intact?

I mean, are we doing too much on this? But I'm scared. I am too. He's no Iron Man. But hey, let me, I know the episode was probably filmed like a year ago, but I'd like to jump here to help cheese out with this whole being out maneuvered by the Balkan Biscuit with Joe. Okay. So Joe, Joe becomes pretty titillated by the Balkan Biscuits IG account. I guess a lot of guys are hitting her DMs. Yeah, it's a titillating Instagram account. Yeah, we've followed it for a while. But Cheese initially just tries to infiltrate the conversation, but that doesn't go well because Joe's looking at her Instagram account.

So this is what I, and she's being outflanked. So Cheese, this is what your best move should have been. You should have told the Balkan Biscuit that a Playboy talent scout was sitting at the bar, which would have led her to go try and put on that ridiculous Playboy suit that she has. Next thing you know, it's 94 minutes later, she's only got one goddamn boot on.

You're already out of there. Cheese, you'd win. I love that idea. I absolutely love that idea. It's so good. All right. So Joe and Ellie are hitting it off. Cheese is rightly doing everything she can to dissuade this. Maybe not rightly. I mean, I don't know. The concern, the stakes of these two hooking up with one Sea Rat is nauseating. I mean, this is like something that Indiana Jones would put his life on the line to get, and it's just hooking up with Joe.

That's right. I will say this though, to the Balkan Biscuit, she seems like a very competitive person to me. She must win at all costs. At all costs. So we get some more texts. Boyfriend's very sad. Boyfriend who Gail loves, very sad. He says, you don't say that I love you anymore and we should just call it. And this is quite brilliant from Gail. You wear down and you make the other person break up. Yeah, I'm not saying she's doing that, but if she was doing that, it worked flawlessly.

Yeah. All right. Can I break down the game film on all of this? Of course. Okay. So Gail gets the breakup text and of course she's overwhelmed and sad. So she gets up from the table and walks away and then Kermit follows her. Okay.

Now Kermit and Gail chat and I want Kermit to stay out of the relationship advice business because she's not good at it. Kermit sends Valentine Valentine day cards with pictures of her feces in it. Okay. I don't want to hear from her. Yeah. She has different types of relationship than these other C-Rats. Yeah.

It's like me giving dating advice. You know, I've been with one woman for 15 years. Well, Kermit says that it's her boyfriend's fault for wanting her to work on the boat where she was miserable. He was a jerk for that. And I just think that's the wrong advice because Gail has clearly been gaslighting this poor sap. Sure. She's wanted to be with Nathan. The correct advice is, hey, look, you're in your twenties, have fun, be free.

It's nothing against this guy, but cut him loose. You're saying don't turn the man into a villain. She's turning him into a villain. That's the wrong thing to do. Gail, you've been making out with Nathan for like a couple of weeks. You're cheating on your boyfriend. He's clearly feeling that you are putting distance between them. You're gaslighting them by not, you're not being honest. You fucking bone up. Not up or shut up. Break up with his sad ass. And then again, chalk it up to, I'm in mys. I'd like to have fun. Kermit,

you are out of your skews on this. I'm in my 20s. I'm also a C-Rat. I'm on a bow so far away. Not a big deal. That's it. Not a big deal. So Nathan, we could call him Mr. Greenlight at this point, I think. Right. Ian heads back to the boat. Very good for him. He's seeing ghosts and blacking out is not going to help. We get to dancing and Ellie and Joe get quite into it. The kids say they turn it up. Oh yeah. They were completely cranked and they do it not only in front of cheese, but then in the back seat. And cheese is very, very hurt by this. I would say to, okay, so Ellie is very, very kind of transfixed by this hierarchical structure on the boat. She puts a lot of import on the fact that she's the second stew. Part of leadership is not being seventh grade, caddy, vengeful.

And that's, okay, let's talk about you guys really actually having feelings for somebody who isn't a C-rat, who could make your life a lot better. Even then you still have the responsibility to not turn that into a contest. This is two Sea Rats hooking up with Joe. And like I said, this is the most important thing in the world to the two of them. Right now it is. It's just crazy. But the onus is on Ellie to not do this. She's the older one and she's the one who's in a leadership position. True. That's a great point. She likes to brag that she's outranking her. Yeah. So we get to the next day, but before we get to the next day, let's talk about a magical elixir known as magic mind. Now,

we drank our magic mind earlier, earlier, and I got to tell you, I'm feeling Earlier. Earlier. And I got to tell you, I'm feeling not jittery, not over the moon, just clean, calm, and here. You know, we're not Ian when we're on Magic Mind. Oh, no, no, no. I see living people. We not only see the things that are living around us, but you know, Magic Mind doesn't guarantee this, but if you are on a regimen like the way

that me and Patrick are, the fractals that make all of us up will begin to show themselves. You'll see life force unsheathed. It's a completely new language, not zeros and ones, something more divine. Del, an example, I was looking at a hummingbird when we took a break. Normally those little wings on them, they flap up and down like you can't even see them. I could though. Yep. Time slows and is cleaned with Magic Mind. It's a mental performance shot.

It's got adaptogens, nootropics, all scientifically backed. It tastes like a pineapple in a warm wood. It is a perfect drink. Yes, it is. It's a perfect drink. And you can get it at magicmind.com slash below deck 20. Enter in the promo code below deck 20. Oh, hang on a second.

The URL is magicmind.com slash below deck. That's right. Go to magicmind.com slash below deck, magicmind.com slash below deck and use promo code below deck 20 at magicmind.com slash below deck. There you will be able to claim an offer, that being 48% off your first subscription or 20% off a one-time purchase with code below deck 20 at checkout at magicmind.com slash below deck. All right. So the next day in a shocking twist, cheese in a very measured way goes up to Balkan Biscuit and says, can you please not do that anymore? Now that very fragile cap would be completely blown off in the coming

sequence of events, but it started well. We have to get to the charter five preference sheet. Meeting. It's not a lot here. Colleen Otero. A lot of food restrictions. A lot of food restrictions. Jonah was ready to pull this off. You know, I got to give it to this guy. Me too. I thought he was on his way out. Still here.

In a major way, I mean, Jono has slotted himself into the perfect kind of sea rat archetype. They're important, not ever present. When he is present, he increases the spirits of the sea rats around him. They're important, not ever present. When he is present, he increases the spirits of the sea rats around him. He's really come into his own this Janna. And I would say that he is here for good. I agree with you.

We're going to have the goddess party. We'll have the pajama party following that. Pajama party is all I got from that. A lot of nos. What we're going to see, you know, all this. No fish, no eggs, hates veggies. We're going to see if all this gilded talk of Jono will ring true next episode. But Gail up next, she's confused why her boyfriend isn't supporting her like Nate is.

Gail, this is- Maybe don't muddy the waters with hooking up with your coworker. Well, and also Gail, this is, you know, this is your love. This is being in your 20s. Maybe this is being kind of, I don't know, having a misunderstanding of the language of men. Nate does not support you. He's trying to have sex with you. He's trying to fuck you. Well, that can be a confusing mask to have to peel off. And you don't want to live your life cynical and paranoid,

but you do have to know that a large part of Nate's drive is to fuck you. So she talks to her boyfriend and I'm not sure if we're... She plays the game blame game for a minute. Yeah. And then it kind of, I don't know, it seems like they part ways respectfully. But you know, they'll, by the way, we will hear probably, I guess they don't do reunions anymore. Those two will be, they're not done having sex. They'll meet up again. Yeah, they'll meet up again. I've been dumped before like that.

Sex is amazing. So laundry again. Sandy speaks on investing in Bre. And we take a look at CBGB, Sandy back in the day, who, day, who was bet on by people. Yeah. OK, so good on Asia. She, upon speaking with Sandy about how horrible cheese is, goes down and says, what needs to be said, you're going to be fired if this keeps happening. Yeah. Yeah. I have a problem with this because she did it in front of her coworker, the Balkan Biscuit.

Did she? Yes. Balkan Biscuit was making a bed right next to Cheese. Very unprofessional. Texting a pick of your dookie would have been less unprofessional. Kermit, Kermit, Kermit, get it together. All right. I don't know if I, maybe I pulled an E in and did not see that correctly. Okay. So, Ellie and Cheese are both committing psychological war crimes against one another. We know that. Ellie realizes that she's losing the court of public opinion on this.

So, she arrives at this tactic that she needs to start making it known that she is an inept idiot to the rest of the Sea Rats. She is stooping to levels that are beneath her station and really beneath humanity, I would say. I agree with that. So this warfare is very real. We realized that Ellie wrote Jono on Joe's pants. These little, I mean, this is where I'm Tinker Tailor soldiers by. I don't know what's going on, who to trust, who to not trust. Is it completely on cheese? I don't think so. I think Ellie's going in there and I think that she's fucking shit up. You know, Balkan Biscuit's a survivalist given her past. You got to find a way to survive. Sometimes that means destroying people that are in your way.

Well, you know, the whole thing really reeks of, you know, so we've got an Eastern Bloc spy, right, in the Balkan Biscuit. And we've got a child of a State Department vet, Ian Cheese. Now, these two are in a heating up Cold War with one another, and there have been acts of deception and manipulation all throughout. I mean, you look at what happened during the Cold War, and I would say that Ian maybe is our McCarthy, right? I mean, he's just completely lost his mind in this whole battle and he's not seeing things. So it's really fucking crazy actually. Yeah. You know, I will say this too, anybody else that has a podcast that recaps Buller Deck, I don't think you're going to

hear them tie the things that are happening with the show with the McCarthy hearings. Yeah. And maybe it's good that you listen to a different one, because that doesn't make any sense. So the guests arrive. Gail says, I think that this is going to be a loud charter. Oh, boy. Microaggression. Jesus.

Hey, hey, coded. Hey, Gail. No, I know that you just meant that they were screaming when they were there, but don't say that. All right, so we make some mojitos. They don't taste right. They're also orange. We spoke on this.

Mojitos do not look like tang. That's right. They don't. They look like the muddled mint and lime and clear rum that you put upon ice. I think that's what a mojito is. Yes, it is. I don't really, have you ever, I don't think I've ever ordered a mojito in my life. I do it all the time. Really? Uh- huh. Wow. Yeah. Is it good? I love it. So we depart, we go shopping Asia with the let's go shopping song. Absolutely incredible.

Cheers. Cheese hears voices of criticism in her head and she's going through internal battles. You're a fuck up. Yeah. You don't know what you're doing. I wish you didn't tell that guy you'd suck his dick on TV. It's your dad. Yeah, crazy.

You know, the state department has technology like that. I mean, everybody knows that. Project Pegasus, MKUltra. Maybe listen to a different show. I don't know. Yeah. So, so Captain Sandy walks in and she sees that she's a struggling and she says that she's having a difficult time with Ellie. Now, this is what drives me nuts. And this is maybe the Machiavellian shit that we don't see. I think I know what you're going to say.

You think that Cheese is going to Sandy to basically give her resignation, but she is not because she's not a quitter. She's just a complainer. No, she's going to. Because she's not a quitter. She's just a complainer. No, she's going to Sandy to make sure that Ellie gets fired. That's right. Which I don't feel very good about. I think that that's really kind of disgusting, meek behavior.

And I mean, these people are not grownups. They're sea rats. OK? So it's confusing, though, because Ellie is tormenting cheese. And I don't think that that's a, I do think that that's kind of a fireable offense. I do think that what Ellie has been doing to cheese

is a fireable offense. But at the same time, when you have someone who's absolutely that, there's incompetent, Dylan. And I know that Sandy made the case that this is an entry level position. However, she's fucking with the workflow. You said that the Balkan biscuit might be a better version of herself if cheese was not there.

That might be true. I also, by the same token, do not think that Cheese would be much better at her job. She would be the same person. Nope, those two don't mean the same thing. Ellie would possibly improve if Cheese wasn't there. Cheese would not improve. That's right. So she's the one that needs to get fired, I think. Or both. I think both is probably the answer. But we're mid-charter. So I think it was last season that Alyssa and Millie Elysset were fired. Staggered firing.

Staggered firing. The better move would have been to just do a first time in below deck history, fucking you're both fired. Yeah. Fucking you're both fired. Yeah, fucking you're both fired. Yeah. I think we may see that. I would be all hands on deck for that. Get some new blood in here.

Yep, 100%. So Asia talks with Gail about two different walks of life. And then we get back to Ellie and Cheese. Now, Ellie is proved to be wanting. The cabins are not done. And they seem to be not done on purpose. I'm starting to maybe believe that at this point, I'm pretty convinced that Ellie is doing things on purpose

to fuck with cheese. If I didn't hear Kermit say, why didn't you do those cabins, you could have definitely set up the table and then also had those cabins done. Kermit's been in the biz for a while. She knows, she can call it bullshit. Sorry, we call her two names. Balkan Biscuit, this was definitely sabotage. Well, and you can tell that it's sabotage. You don't need to have a long running career um, career as a Sea Rat to see when Asia walks up to Balkan Biscuit and she says, I don't know, she, she begins the inquiry that Biscuit knows is coming. Um, Biscuit says, I, I have been working or something like that. It's, it's this defensive straight out of the

gate. I've been working. Very generic answer. If somebody begins the line of questioning with that, you've got your man. You got it. You've got your man. Yes. He definitely killed those two people over on Broadway. And also, Balkan Biscuit, you're a way better liar than this. You should have said, the bottles all fell down at the bar.

It took me an hour. Have another story. You're a horrible liar. Yeah. So Cheese flips out and says numerous times to Ellie, leave me alone, leave me alone, leave me alone, which Ellie does not do. She continues to antagonize her.

She grabs her at one point and says, look at me and stop doing what you're doing. I outrank you. Fired. Fired. Fired, fired, fired. She's asked you to leave her alone, OK? You were making out with and rubbing the cock of the person that she's into right in her face.

And now you're not doing cabins on purpose to sabotage her. She's asked you to leave her alone. And you're following her around and screaming at her. What kind of insane behavior is that? Yes. We got to call balls and strikes. We love the Balkan Biscuit. Okay. She's more than her work on this show, but this is not good. Fireball fence. So Ellie is in tears and Sandy gives her a really good piece of advice. Pull yourself together. Oh, I love that. Amazing.

Hey, hey, pull yourself together. Oh, good. You're pulling yourself together. That's good. Ellie's like, it's okay. I'm fine. And Sandy's like, yeah, good. Pull yourself together.

Now, also a fireball offense. You're freaking out on the deck. The guests are returned, the paying guests are returning and you just handed me a pile of towels to give the guests. Yeah. So you're fucking fired. Sandy fired Alyssa last season for calling her Sandy. Yeah. That's true. So we've got three sides to the story. Sandy tells Aisha that she's got to figure out both

sides and the truth. Very difficult thing to do. Aisha gets back and says, she tells Sandy this is the hardest thing that she's ever had to manage because she just has no idea who's telling the truth. And this is where we talked about earlier, that there are these two people trafficking in a cold war with one another. And it's very, very difficult to discern. So Asia asks Ellie what happened. Ellie says, I was working the whole time, like we mentioned. Somebody starts with that.

It's not good. And Ellie and Balkan Biscuit are dragged up to the crow's nest to speak with Sandy. We get a TBC card, but the beginning of this conversation does not go well. I think cheese gets fired. Really? I do.

They didn't give us a preview for next week's episode. And Cheese is just making some major miscalculations here. I think that Cheese may have. You remember the old saloons where people used to play poker and shoot each other and stuff like that? Oh, yeah. Totally legal.

If we put, if we equate it to that, right? Cheese lays all her cards down on the table. It's quite brilliant. She says, fire us both. Cheese is so filled with hatred for Biscuit at this point that she is fine with being fired if it means that Balkan is dragged to Davy Jones with her. We'll see what happens next week. Five stars, kind words, join us at patreon.com slash another podcast network for

more APS, BMZ, ad free episodes, The Lot. Magic Mind. Go get it. Tropical Smoothie. Go get it. We love you. We'll see you next week. I'm Dylan saying goodbye. Pat say goodbye. Later dudes. Love