Another Below Deck Podcast - We’ll Miss You... | Below Deck S3 E11

Episode Date: April 15, 2025

Dylan and Pat are back to break down the shardcast, new blood, Dubai, punching things, koi, product, curls, love, accountability, plates, steak and more from Bravo's Below Deck Down Under. Patreon - Patreon.com/AnotherPodcastNetworkYouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@anotherbelowdeckpodcastKOALA - U.S.KOALA.com/BadTV 

He goes, I have no clue what happened. I've been blindsided. I did everything I could. And here's where the crazy comes out. He starts crying about a dare when he thinks about her, this guy. If Alicia was okay with it, he, they would have fucked right there. Okay. So what are you doing crying about a dare?

I mean, it's soft room kind of shit. But the best part of it is a dare. She hugs him and then to us in our interview says, you know, in the end it's best that he goes. Yeah, it kind of sucks. Hi, hello and welcome to another brand spanking new episode of Bad Television that is long for bad TV. And I'm Dylan and that's Pat. Great to be here. Permission to come aboard. Oh Whoa

What an episode man Two episodes back to back back to back. They're taking me on an emotional roller coaster Do I have a little curly Q right here? Yeah, you look it's called the hero curl that was famous They say miss by Clark Kent playing Superman. Okay Well, I'm gonna change that does it look good. I think it looks great. It's gonna read well on camera You think really plug check us out on another below deck podcast. Yeah. Yeah, go look at that and Listen man two great episodes as the season continues to be the best season of Bullittic. We've had in some time. I'd say season continues to be the best season of Bulletic we've had in some time I'd say. Major spoilers out there on the internet of the recasting of this particular version. Well if you want those then seek them out.

So I shouldn't do, even though it's out there on social media, you're not, I'm going to say this, you're not going to be happy who the new Chief Stew is, let me just say that Okay You have you have a You didn't even guess who you think it might be okay, but you have a chronic problem where you don't It's really amazing. I like to have a secret Can I get it out, please? Can you shut up for one second? Yes.

You do this thing. It is so Shutter Island. You just have no idea what's going on. You'll say, I'm not going to spoil anything, but, and then you, I'm confused whether you know what you're doing or not. Do you realize what a massive spoiler you just dropped? It's not a spoiler. It's out there on the internet. It's on all social media. Bravo Dish, all those Instagram sites are posting the pictures. Okay. But when you say you're not going to like who the new chief stew is, do you recognize what a spoiler that is? Well,

I think you'd have to take a guess. I'm not a fan of several of them. Okay. So you don't. have to take a guess. I'm not a fan of several of them. Okay, so you don't. Saying you're not going to like who the new Chief Stu is implies that the Chief Stu is going to get fired. Oh, no, Dylan, Chief Stu's in and out of this franchise come and go all the time. We've, we, I'll tell you what, we have had to see Kermit on like five. Are you talking about Below Deck Down Under or the new season? Down Under. Okay. All right. Oh like five. Are you talking about Below Deck Down Under or the new season? Down Under. Okay. All right. Oh, you thought I was talking about Fraser. No, you're talking about Laura.

Okay. I wasn't talking about this season. I'm talking about the one that they're filming now. They did a cast photo altogether because there's a crossover with The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. Oh, okay. So next season of Below Deck Down. OK, I thought you were talking about this season. OK. Who's the chiefs to next season? Daisy. No.

I can't believe they did that to us, unless they're fucking with us. But there was a picture of her and Captain Jason and Chef Ben and a couple other Real Housewives of Salt Lake. And it says, currently doing a crossover, filming right now. Not a fan of that. Let's hope it's, they're just messing with me. All right.

Get in the comments, get in the reviews, five stars, kind words, the weather is warming up, I got my first mosquito bite. Oh boy, I hate those. I don't mind killing them. Oh, you wanna hear a fun fact, Dil? Yeah. Okay, so, well, this, I'll tell the story behind the fun fact. The other day I'm in the swimming pool with Ellie. There's this bee that keeps flying around us getting dangerously close to my five-year-old.

Right. So I splash a little water in the direction of the bee thinking I'm just gonna scare it away. Well, lo and behold, it hit one of its wings. The guy goes spiraling down into the pool water. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I feel guilty as hell. I can still save them. I tried to. So I grab a piece of bark chip or chip bark, whatever they mulch, whatever. Yeah. And I try and lift him up. Poor little guy was struggling for life. I laid him next to the pool, checked on him 15 minutes later. Dead as can be. Okay, great. So I feel bad. So I'm like, okay, I killed a bee. Now I'm feeling guilty. I murdered something.

So I have to go on the internet and ask my iPhone, hey, how long does a bee live? He said three weeks. I was thinking in my head to make myself feel better. He had already lived two and a half weeks. So he was near death anyway. And then my next search was, what's the shortest lifespan for an insect?

Dill, you are not gonna get this. The mayfly lives three hours, just enough time to plant more mayflies. That's it! What's the point? How much living can you do? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know that bee was probably going through

some kind of existential panic and he wanted to die. Maybe. You actually were doing a disservice prolonging his miserable life. I mean, his wife hates him. Okay. Yeah. Cannot stand him. The racket he was running on the federal government, he was like getting these checks and he wasn't

really hurt. And he was just like, it's all falling apart. I got to end it. Well, imagine if he lived and he shows back home with one wing. She's like how you gonna you know earn for the family you can't get any honey yeah they're gonna laugh at you when you show up at the honey factory. Yeah she was like you couldn't provide for us would you add two wings David. Okay let's get into the show but before we get into the show, let's read a quick review. This is five stars. This is from someone we haven't heard of or heard from in some time.

Okay. Okay. This is, you know, there are a lot of fans that are real staples of the community. And some time ago we had a fan named Linda Yoga Girl. I remember her. Now she hated me and I hated her. She's a nut job. But we really appreciate the review of Five Stars Kind Words. Patty, heeding the call for warm words and appreciation, still delivering great pod after all these years. Thank you so much.

Linda, thank you so much for the five stars. All right, let's get into the show. Man. Great housekeeping. Okay, housekeeping. Okay, housekeeping. We are for our Patreon listeners, I guess next Wednesday,

we're gonna do a, what do you call it, a meetup or something? Happy hour. Happy hour. For about an hour, we'll sit there on like a, basically a version of a Zoom meeting, and then we talk face to face and we laugh and chuckle. We tell all the good dark stories that we can't say on air

that will get Patty and Dilly in trouble. Sure, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, we spill the tea and grab a drink, join us unless you've kind of, I don't know, ran over somebody or you can't punch somebody at a work function. You have a troubled relationship with alcohol. If you have a troubled relationship with alcohol, just grab a fresca. There you go. And also we, are coverage of the Valley starts this week. We already recorded the episode before the episode airs. It's a decent episode. I think it's going to be a really good season.

So you can find that at the bad TV, the feed that you're listening into right now. And if you're not familiar with the show, give it a shot. Yeah, give it a shot. It's a great show. Jax Taylor is fucked. He's kind of like that bee. Mm. Yeah. Well, he's still breathing, though. Yeah.

OK. All right. Episode whatever. This curl is bothering me. Give your pots. OK. First off, love the episode. As I was watching this episode play out, I'm like, the bad guy.

You know, can I tell you something really quickly? I finally found a good combination of product for your hair. Oh my god It's a little good. It's a leave-in right? It's a coconut II leave in oh you leave it in What are you doing? I'm pulling up a sound effect for later. Is it the tortoise having sex? No, no, no, that's played out. Oh But it's a leave-in and a and a and a do they call it a Palmade is that what you'd pal made like a wax or something. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so it's a leave-in with a pal made It's really doing wonders Now I've just got I've got to figure out how to groom this beer

I don't know how to grew I I don't know how to groom. You know what I mean? This is relevant how uh No, it's not. Oh, so let's get into the show Do you really think the sounds of the tortoise orgasming is played out? Oh, I used it in this comedy sketch like 12 years ago Really? Mm-hmm. That's a very niche thing to be worn out. Yeah, I forget what it was the bit was but I definitely use it It's been on the internet for a while. Okay, uh, thoughts pots go. Okay. First 10 minutes of this episode as I'm watching it go down, I'm like the bad guy won today. I couldn't believe it. It broke my heart. Then 10 seconds later, uh, later V hand gets axed and I was like, okay, the world isn't such a horrible place. Yeah. After V hand. Oh,Oh, so I want to lay out some theories too, but also Nicholas, Nick, Nick,

Jesus fucking Christ dude. I believe Captain Jason, there was one warning while he was going to watch beer pong, which was don't drink. I think he may possibly have the shortest stint as a crew member of any vessel in below deck history. Well, when you're around PR professionals, you have to have your walls up, OK? These people, they're usually wibbit. They'll just get you to do stuff.

You know, they're kind of pushy. We've dealt with so many PR people, you know? You can't ask that question. Oh, oh, I'm sorry. You know who my many PR people, you know, you can't ask that question. Oh, oh, I'm sorry the the look You know who my favorite PR people are? Oh the PR people over at Bravo who work on But outside of that just you know really tough characters If you're a freaking Spock nerd and you don't have the the cojones to stand up to these Dubai PR chicks You're gonna get fucking wasted regardless of what the rules are ooh well that was fun to see yeah we should take a bet does he survive the

next episode I think so okay we'll see I I'm gonna I'm gonna say he gets fired what are you gonna do with these kids I mean it's like he took a shot don't do that anymore I know but it's his first day. He hasn't been on the job for more than four hours. But you know what the J-Man said, it's hard to find people in the Sashels. Theory. Yeah. So it's, it's not common for someone to fire a boss, a captain to fire a boss. And that's kind of a big deal because you have charter guests showing up the next day. We've seen it before. I'm not saying that we haven't. I'm just saying the way that he went about it, it seemed like, like we'll see Captain Sandy Labor over like,

oh, I'd love to fire this person, but I don't have a replacement. Yeah. Captain Jason seemed pretty okay with it and pretty ready to move on, which made me think, sorry, behind the fourth wall he knew there was a bosun waiting at a hotel onshore. I think what you got to do is you got to pull the pull the bandaid off because if you don't, you'll shower with it, it'll get wet, the scab will fester and you'll pick at it and the longer you get down the line, you're like, Oh, I guess, you know, he's kind of getting better. Let's just stick it out with them. The rest, no, get him out of here.

I'm just saying, all right. So we've seen Boatswain's fired. I have not, we saw one, I think it was our first season of recapping Below Deck with Captain Lee. I forget, I think his name was Chandler. He lasted about three episodes. He was incompetent. He could have gotten people killed.

He felt bad for that guy too. And then there was also that guy who I think was a gun runner or something oh the guy who fake identity actually you know what he got fired in the first episode yeah okay all right so technically his journey didn't even he didn't even leave the dock that guy now all right anyway I'm going on too long here I loved this episode. Oh God, I hope it's not true how they change up the cast. But I'm going to give it a 99 knots. Yeah, that's very high. You know, the I this combo of

epi episodes part one and part two. You know, it was really great television, but I am heartbroken to lose Johnny. I really am I I think it's really fucking lame Okay, like are we are We doing maritime law or we not doing maritime lights at this weird thing. We're like you can thing where like you can like emotionally abuse people and sexually assault people and do all this weird stuff and you don't get fired but you punch a closet and you scream to the heavens and all of a sudden it's like you gotta go listen I understand it he probably should have been fired but I'm not happy about it I loved Johnny I think Johnny could have

slid right into wee man's position little wee man's position and we would have been fired, but I'm not happy about it. I loved Johnny. I think Johnny could have slid right into Wehenn's position, little Wee Man's position, and we would have had a great season, you know? I think when you were watching the evidence get laid out, that was one of the most interesting parts of this, because we had the footage, and I think Jason got to see that footage, which is why he fired Wehenn,

definitely had play in there, is that when you see she all right so Alicia does not mention when she's recounting what took place of her saying Johnny three times I've watched this episode that part three times just to make sure we can totally hears her say that welcomes her up in the bed yeah and and then later on in this episode, he goes, she wanted to talk. What's the problem? Is that how you talk? You, you smash your pod into the, the back of somebody you fuck. Did you see her read? Got barnacles. Let me know if Patty got this

wrong. Was she re snapping her bra back on? Okay. I said this last episode, I think she was just adjusting her mic. I think she was thinking about taking her mic off before she got into bed. I don't think that she was doing anything sexy. He definitely, you watch his hand just, and also if you watch it closely, just as she- You really did subrude to this thing, huh? I have to talk on it. I have to be informed. As soon as she notices or feels, senses it's not Johnny, she perks her head up just as Johnny walks through the door.

She was going to react. Had Johnny not walked in that room, give it three more seconds, she would have turned around and said, you're not Johnny. It's interesting the way the world works. Oh yeah, the world is really interesting. Now Johnny's off the boat and I don't think this is a spoiler. They show a teaser trailer for the future episodes't think this is a spoiler, they show a teaser trailer for the future episodes, any port in a storm as they say.

Well, not any. I mean, you know, let's give Alicia a little bit of credit, but you know, we had a lot of fans, especially on Patreon, going, you know, who, uh, she knew what she was doing, you know, and I don't think so. No, she did not. I don't think so. No, no, she was into Johnny for that period of time All right

Eight pots eight pots Okay, so let's get into it. We pick up with the punches and the screams of the Greek Freak They're so loud that the J man comes down an interesting little note You know, we've heard some things about the J-Man, okay? The J-Man, you know, he's the J-Man. He's there to captain the vessel and not smash it into, you know, Marina. He didn't want a second one to sink in the dock. Right, but one of the first things he does when he goes in there

takes the clothing off the camera. But one of the first things he does when he goes in there, takes the clothing off the camera. A little foot soldier for production. Ah, Captain J.C., do you mind pulling that underwear off? Yeah, like we need you to go in there and before you do anything, we need to get this. So, okay. Well done. Yeah.

I didn't even notice gonna say Alisa is just fucking blitzed okay she's slamming potato chips just like what is going on and Alicia and we in as Johnny's getting dragged out have a little phone call all right this is V hand doing damage control and also mind control essentially we should call him something else. We have one last episode with this guy. Can we come up with some kind of derogatory name? Oh, god, I thought about that.

Then I got bored. Yeah, yeah. A boredom is a bitch. Let me say this about Vigin. You are a gross pig. You have no morals. You have no loyalty. Yeah.

That was your friend right there, too. Yeah. You're a liar. And I don't even think you're a good boss. And you suck. I'm your friend right there too. Yeah. You're a liar and I don't even think you're a good boss and you suck. I'm happy to see you go. Yeah. Let's just call him Pig. Pig? Yeah. Well, it's crazy. What does he say in that phone call? Basically, he just says like, oh, he's crazy. He was acting crazy in there. He just acted crazy. He acted crazy. You know who's crazy? You're crazy. I mean clinically. Like you're crazy, okay? You go around and you say hi to people by grabbing their tits and grabbing their ass and necking them. Then

you pretend like you're confused as to what the problem is. You have no loyalty to anybody, Okay. Johnny was the second in command. They were as thick as thieves. Didn't matter to him. Alicia hops in that bunk bed. No code, brotherly code, no whatever. You're crazy. Okay. Not Johnny. Johnny is a little drunk and you know, things are firing up right now and he sees his girl in bed with you, his friend, and he punches something. It's a very childish thing to do but it's not as crazy as you are, okay? Nut bag pig. Yeah, I... Fucking pig. John, I feel so bad for

Johnny because even him punching the closet was definitely a way of restraining himself because I assume the former Johnny rained down elbows that's right rained down elbows we should call them weasel instead of wean fucking weasel I know they don't do reunions anymore but definitely if they had Johnny on I'd say having seen the footage of what really took place would you have reacted differently I mean rain down elbows so Jason does his rounds checking on the children. And we get up bright and early to sift through the ash of the night before.

Now, Johnny goes to a hotel room. And Alicia is wondering if he's going to get fired. The people across the pond call it sacked. Is he going to get the sack? Can I just say this? As far as a captain? I don't know if they, they certainly didn't do this with captain Lee, send them to HR Academy as well as a investigator because it seems like quite the spectrum of roles,

a person that you think is just there to drive the goddamn boat. Now they got to go talk to four different people to see who may have sexually assaulted someone. I'm just saying it seems like a lot of roles for one guy. That's what I'm saying. I mean what with how messy this thing is. Why do we have to be so fucking lame about it? Like okay he punched a cabinet. He's great. Just keep him on TV. I mean Gary King's been left on TV and he's freaking you know You know, we know what Gary King's done. Anyway, so um, he punched a wall to screamed like a banshee a Greek one so he is gonna get fired big reds like yeah, I think he is and

Alicia has called up to the bridge Captain J man HR rep J man says did I wake you? She says, no. He did. She is like, she's still in deep rem. She looks like a B-Boy and she does not look awake. I think she's still pretty fucking hung over from the night before. I agree with that. I know I already mentioned this,

but it bears repeating. When you watch this, and I like to look at it as a juror, I'm lady justice, like just look at the evidence. There is a plausible deniability for V hand had she not said Johnny three times. But the fact that we get to see that that is the evidence the the smoking gun smoking gun and she forgets that she did say that she doesn't even mention that. And in the case of the Zabruder film there were actually multiple smoking guns. Were there? Oh yeah. Do we have to do that? Yes. I mean yeah there's so many. Mm-hmm. Okay so Alicia is dismissed and then we get to Harry's tears. Now the J-Man is very protective of Harry

and when he finds out that wean Weasel Pigface made Harry cry that's kind of it for J-Man okay. He made Harry cry. He goes around the boat and does his reconnaissance and it's quite a montage of investigations. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Zarina and Harry really nail the coffin shut on the Wee-Mice weasel. This is what I'll say. Zarina was infatuated with the V-Man. However... A lot of fans have been, you know...

Zarina is like, you know... She's having fun. Her loyalty lies with Harry. And she threw him right under the fucking bus I'm referring to V hand and drove that bus over and over and ran his head over and finished him off. Yeah Yeah, I mean she drove the bus off a cliff kind of Thelma and Louise style, but she rolled out right in time You know Tom Cruise style, you know what I mean? Yes. So all this stuff is happening and I completely forgot We have a day off know what I mean? Yes. So all this stuff is happening and I completely forgot we

have a day off. The fact that we have a day off. So many heads get cut right before the paid day off. This is a celebratory occasion. This is and they didn't even get that way so it wasn't even that fun of a day I think it lasted 15 seconds as far as the episode. Well you know what everybody needs a little rest and relaxation every once in a while and the sponsor of this episode is perfect for that. Okay, today's episode is brought to you by Koala. You know, there are a lot of things that come out of Australia. A lot of good things. Yeah, not snakes.

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Koala comfy, easy, sustainable. All right. So we finally get V hand up in the hot seat. And this was delightful to watch because Captain Jason basically said, so what happened? He said, well, I woke up. There was a girl in my bed. Yeah.

Like hot blondes just fall from the sky into your bed yeah okay expect me to believe that well uh yeah yeah yeah he's he's he's an idiot and he you know what he's actually crazy oh I'm sorry he didn't fucking fire him no he did sorry that's why I was a little confused there you could hear it in my voice But Johnny gets called up and he is his employment is terminated and I got to say This is why we love Johnny, I mean he just he takes it like such a Good egg, you know, I mean, complete accountability. The juxtaposition of the two exit interviews between Johnny and weasel are, I mean, it's night and day. Although I wish Johnny had a little bit more instincts to see that his buddy was actually a scumbag because he apologizes for losing his cool and it's a lesson he can learn from.

This guy's like fucking Yoda. I remember the self of my that I am not. That was more Andre the Giant than Johnny but I mean he's like fucking Rafiki you know what I mean he's so wise. He's very wise. Yeah I'm really sad that he's gone. I still think he's going to be pretty pissed when he sees that watch back. Because he should have gotten that day off to hang out with his girlfriend. Yeah, I think so. I mean, who knows?

I don't even think they freaking porked. They didn't. And it's a real tragedy. They didn't even pork. Now, Jason Wells is well, and he departs, and he'll be back. I think he'll be back next season. They owe him that. I think so too.

And wouldn't it be great if Johnny came back and Alicia was on the cast too? Reunited and it's probably bad. Oh yeah, or yeah, because she's probably moved on. Yeah. All right. Yeah, alright, so Weasel freaking Pigface is setting up his big drunk day with a dare, his friend a dare, when Captain J-Man calls him up. Now he really puts up a fight and the one thing, the one concession I'll make for Pigface is he didn't yell at Harry.

He didn't yell at Harry. Harry is like, we love Harry. Harry is seditious and subversive in his take down of Weehan, okay? I'm all for it, but- He hurt his little feelings. But Wee in just was very firm. It was intense, but he wasn't a dick. He was being a dick to him, but he wasn't screaming at him. And there was alcohol involved. There are so many reasons why we in needs to leave the boat chief among them,

what he does to all of the women on this. That's right. That's the most important. If you're Captain Jason, would you have actually based on what you was reported to you, fired this person? And I don't think what was reported to him rose to that level. What was reported to him that he was screaming at Harry? Well, that was reported to him, but that was in fact not true. Yeah, but he's seen we and be a little fuck the entire season. I agree, but I'm telling you, I think Captain Jason got a little view of that black and white video footage and said, all right, I gotta let this fucking guy go.

All right, so he leaves the boat and it's very, very Wee in about the whole thing. He goes, I have no clue what happened. I've been blindsided. I did everything I could. And here's where the crazy comes out. He starts crying about a dare when he thinks about her. This guy, if Alicia was okay with it, he would have fucked right there. Okay. So what are you doing crying about a dare? I mean it's soft room kind of shit But the best part of it is a dare she hugs him

Yeah, and to us in our interview says, you know in the end it's best that he goes. Yeah, he kind of sucks So yeah, it's better and I also enjoyed that he didn't get the beach day If you're fighting or trying to fuck every single girl on the boat, you might be the problem. So the J-Man lets everybody know great quote from Laura. We're all going to miss Johnny, but now it's Harry and the girls for a little beach day, a bit of the old Seychelles. Um, J-Man heads with them to go see the tortoises, little beach day, a bit of the old Seychelles. J-Man heads

with them to go see the tortoises, the ancient creatures, the wisdom holders, the shelled wisdom holders of this land, and we actually do see them them banging, which is pretty cool. You know, tortoises deserve to get their freak on, you know what I mean? They're so wide, they're like little libraries of Alexandria just walking around. You know, every once in a while you've got to crack something off. Imagine being born with a backpack. You know what I mean? You can't take off.

Yeah. Seems like a pain in the ass. Complete pain in the ass. So you've got to give them something. Yeah. Let them live forever. Right. And only have sex doggy style. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's like, okay, so God's like, all right, I'm thinking of something and all the angels are like, okay, what do you got? Come on, create something. I'm thinking about a little kind of reptile kind of thing. Okay, we have a lot of those, God. I know, but listen to this. They're super wise they live forever

They've got a backpack. They can't ever take it off a backpack. Yeah Yeah, they got a backpack and the backpack will have all of this kind of sacred geometry and will trick all the human beings They'll be like, oh, there's something magical, but it's not I'm just we're just spitballing here, you know, and they can only fuck doggy style And they'll make this noise when they climax Seems fair to me god go for it. Absolutely. Come on get it into the factory I mean think of all the the the surly creatures that that God pitch I mean squid if I was one of the people not gonna bet a mayfly May fly I would have said no to squ Squids I would have said no to.

I don't like a squid, okay? All that stuff. Really the only thing in the ocean that I like is a starfish and I don't even like those. All right, so, she loving, she vibing, she wanna give me compliments. We hit the beach, Serena eats potato chips, kind of the way the tortoises eat lettuce. And Laura talks about how lovely her past friends are and that's when Serena swims up, who is

not on that list. Laura hates her. She's so mean to her, but I understand it. Serena is weird Barbie. She's a little bit oppressive. Now you sound like Laura. No, I don't. No, I don't. I'm telling you, man, you got to stop talking to these sea rats. It colors you. She came on and we interviewed her. She said she didn't like being called that. I heard her feeling weird Barbie. Yeah. No, she said she loved it. She was going to brand herself Weird Barbie. Wow, but Laura called her that. So this day off. Nothing happens.

Was completely destroyed by shitbag and fuck money. That's right. Or Johnny and shitbag. Here's, all right, let me in another another dimension had no one gotten fired that the night before Johnny and Alicia consummate their relationship now. They're on the path potentially having a sea rat. Yeah, maybe mm-hmm Because we've only had one sea rat baby so far, you know Vanessa Vanessa Lachey would have nothing with this show. I mean, there's just one Sea Rat baby, I think, and the father fled.

I want to say there might be one more. No. Yes, there is, there is! Gail and Nathan from last season, she's pregnant. We have a second Sea Rat baby on this one. But she's not pregnant from Gail or from Nathan. Yeah. Really? Sea Rat news. Are they still together? Yeah they are. They're in love.

Oh really? She's ripe and ready. Yeah she's gonna. What do you mean ripe and ready? She's ready to pop out a baby at any day. Okay okay. That was the guy that was, you always talked about how he was balding. Yeah prematurely it was sad. Talk about God. Yeah. yeah, yeah. Give someone hair that they only get to have till they're 22. That's pretty cool if you ask me. That is cool. God does a lot of cruel things.

OK. Doesn't he? Oh, so my second. So in another dimension, Vyhan would have had his hands all over Zarina on that beach at some point and also flirted with Alicia, that would have pissed Dare off and turned her off, and that would have been the end of it.

So either way, if- It would have been a lot of fun. Yes, that's my point. It would have been a lot of fun. But we had to go punchin' shit, and sleepin' with people's ladies. So we wake for the next day and it's time for the preference sheet meeting.

Harry, welcome to the roundtable. Can I say I don't we love hair. I don't know why he was there. There's no point in having him there to make him a breast of the is that correct? Yeah. Of the preferences so that when the Boson comes in, he would be fully aware.

And then in the case that the Boson doesn't make it on, Harry's the Boson. Harry's got a lot to learn before he can be the Boson. Okay. You gotta be in tip top shape to be the Boson. Okay, Harry's not there yet. Okay. So, I mean, being a Boson's really hard there yet okay so I mean being a bosun's

really hard you know what I mean yes I mean who was the little guy that did it for so long that had sex with that lady on top of the laundry remember that guy the little guy yeah you had the spiky hair a lot of them have that's true that's true you know he was like oh that idiot's true. You know, he was like, Oh, that idiot, Eddie. Oh my God. Yeah. He was just at Captain Lee's house. Yeah. You don't like Eddie. No, he's, he's annoying. Yeah. What do you not like about him? I asked him to be on the show. He said no. Oh, really? Okay. I don't like him either. Yeah. If you don't like me, I don't like you. No choice, but to not like you back. Yeah, if you don't like me, I don't like you no choice, but to not like you back

Oh, yeah, that's it Okay So come on The preference sheet is this a Bunch of PR ladies are coming in from Dubai. I can't stand Dubai I'm so fucking sick of Dubai. You know because I used to own a sightseeing tour company. Yeah. For some reason my phone always

feeds me these pieces of information. Yeah. Dubai is the number one overrated vacation destination on the planet Earth. Yeah it's just like how many carbon copies of Alpha Tate brothers and Nelk scum can go over there and be duped by the you know and the whole Housewives franchise that pissed me off too like it was this giant fucking tourism ad it's like fuck off it's too hot this was a number of years ago but when my wife and I were globe-rotting, I looked at a package there, I kid you not, it was seven days, seven nights, the flight, it was at that mega hotel that's built

on that man-made island. Yeah. I am not exaggerating, it was $1,300 a person. For one night? For a week. Oh, for a week. For flights there, the hotel. Yeah.

Yeah, I assume their rates have gone up or maybe not. Yeah, maybe not. I mean, yeah. They were trying to get bodies there. Yeah, I don't like it, but I'm sure it's a nice place. So they're celebrating their fourth anniversary as a company, which is a pretty dumb. Yep. Four years.

Big, big deal. You think so? Oh, yeah. Five. No, it's dumb. Yep. Four years, big, big deal. You think so? Oh, yeah. Five. No, it's four, four, five. Why four? Four is like, you did it. Four.

Okay. Okay. So stupid. What are you doing PR for? Over there? Well, perhaps you can read into that based on their preferences of what they want to do. They do want to do a rum tasting, dare I say integration of something they're promoting?

Maybe. Yeah, that's a good idea. Yeah. Well, they also want to do a mob night and Zarina, yeah, mob wife night. Zarina is way off the mark. Well, to be fair, she's known a lot of mobsters, maybe not a big fan of American cinema and the Italian mob, Godfather, one of the best. Mob Wives though is... Sure.

Yeah. But in the oligarchy and also, you know, Russia, I think she had used Russia as an example. I assume they have some mob-like characters. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, they get their wives to put poison in people's drinks and stuff so that they can frame them and throw them in frozen tundra prisons and stuff like that. I don't have a lot.

I don't know if you could tell, but I don't really understand the world very well. Me neither. But yeah, no, mob wives is a, it's a meatball red sauce kind of joint. You know what I mean? So um that's what we're going to be doing but the new guys head over. Before that though those those fish finally get a fucking breath of fresh air. Thank god. Water changes. Clean your filthy fucking fish tank. If you're going to be a caretaker of animals, do a little better job there. And also you're

overstocked with fish. The oxygen levels are going to be very low. The nitrate levels are going to spike before you know it. You have an ammonia epidemic and then the nitrite hit and then boom, they're all fucking dead. They're all dead. I mean, they're fragile little creatures. They don't even remember anything. Here's God again. I'm gonna make a thing and he's gonna only remember things for like five seconds at a time. It's like what the fuck man? And he goes well at least it doesn't have a backpack that it can

never take off. It can swim around you know. Well that's half empty. Why don't you own fish? You think I want that in my fucking house? Yeah, I don't see enough of that shit get get in the comments. Let us know if you own fish Or birds or anything like that. Do you have any exotic? We are gonna construct a Beautiful koi pond in the front yard. We were actually it's funny you mentioned that we were was a koi run you For me, it's gonna be free. I know everybody You know everybody. Mm-hmm But what is a koi run somebody? For me it's gonna be free I know everybody. You know everybody? Mm-hmm. But what does a koi run somebody? How big? Pretty big. Two grand. Two grand? Mm-hmm. What are they, what's the point of that? Well most are imported from Japan. Are they smart? No. Can you eat them? No, they're too bony. They're beautiful.

I guess. The fantail versions of them are very angelic. The fantail? Yeah. So you're telling me over at Terra Sushi, they got like 10 grand worth of koi floating around? I've seen those sushi in there.

I mean those koi in there. The sushi that's dead on the chopping plate is much happier than those poor little fish in those small tanks. Their backs are bent. They're suffering from a disease called S disease and dropsy. They'd, if I could, I'd kill them to save them the pain of existing in that restaurant. Right, so should we not go there anymore? Should we protest that place? No, that's fine. You seen those places where they have the,

I think you told me about this, they have the claw for lobster. For lobster, yeah. I think PETA shut that down. I would really hope so. You know, I can't even do that stuff. You know, speaking of Aussies, it's a big thing in Australia,

you go to all these restaurants, they got all the fish all over the place and the tanks and stuff. I can't do it. It makes me too sad, you know, because they're supposed to be out there in the in the water, you know, think of how borderless the water is. You know, here's what I'll say. There's headbutton fucking glass. I mean, they don't even know what glass is.

You want to have a freshwater tank? Go for it. They'll probably live out their lifespan. Don't even know what glass is. You want to have a fresh water tank, go for it. They'll probably live out their lifespan. Don't do the salt water thing. Don't go to your local aquarium store and buy a $50 fish that just got pulled out of the ocean and put it in a tank. It's cool. Yeah, don't. What are you going to put a shark in your living room?

That's crazy. You want to talk about unintended consequences. They're way too big. You have this beautiful movie called finding nemo in 2003 yeah also created the proliferation of the sea water like a sea salt movement and all these aquarium stores pop up to fill the demand they basically plunge the waters of like hawaii in the philippines kill all the environment they're trying to sell fish to America. Well that's why Disney that's why Disney made that film. Is that right? Is that right? Yeah that's right. Ha ha! They don't do anything for good. I fucking hate that company. Star Wars sucks. Star Wars sucks. You know I mean Out, it's a cute movie, but what are you doing teaching kids about depression? They don't need to know that yet.

Little Inside Baseball, they found out when they tested the only character that kids and adults liked was that angry little one that was fucking around with everybody. Yeah, he's my favorite too. No, I'm kidding, Inside Out's lovely and Pixar has made some of the most beautiful stories of all time, but they're meant to harm. So anyways, let's get to some Sea Rat history. Okay. So. Let's, we have two coming here. It's too many. I don't like this change. I don't like change. Well, I can handle it for us.

Yeah, please. OK, so we have Nate the Boson. He meets the captain. If you look at his CV, former kid entertainer. Then we get some Sea Rat history. Raised by a woman, taught by a woman. What kind of kid entertainer? What are you talking about? It didn't specify. I think we'll learn later on.

You're talking about like a carny or something? Maybe he dressed up like a clown. OK. Raised by a woman, taught by a woman, easygoing spirit. about like a carney or something maybe you've dressed up like a clown okay raised by a woman taught by a woman easygoing spirit oh yeah i was hopeful that this man was raised by women because maybe he's not going to be such a fucking pig well it's funny you mentioned that Dylan because so these are the ingredients for a man that will hopefully not be a womanizing pig. However, there is a wrinkle in that. There's a sea rat. Well, more importantly, where's dad? There's no mention of dad.

It's a common question asked and there's a lot of pain associated with an MIA pops. Yoda once said missing dads lead to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to douchebags trying to bang everything that moves. Yeah. And I think he said that in The Last Jedi. Nate is gonna be a problem. You think so? Yeah. Nate's got extra energy. Yes. He's like, he's extra, right? He's like, you know, listen, who am I to be judgmental of other people's character traits? But when I'm meeting new people I'd like to kind of slow play myself a little bit, you know, let's have a little probationary period where we don't like We don't really get too high. We don't get too low. Yeah, I got I got that. You know what I mean?

You got to pace yourself. Yeah pace yourself All right. So Nicholas is up next. He's really throwing the blue steel around quite a bit before he heads to the boat This is when we get another Sea Rat history and I know exactly what sound effector can I guess which sound effector? Don't guess it don't do it for the audience do it after do it after okay So Nick arrives and we learned that he cried while watching Indiana Jones live at Universal Studios Orlando. I'm not gonna judge because that is an emotional experience.

And then we begin with his Sea Rat history. He is a self-described nerd. Now, Del, you pointed this out and I always found it funny because I always thought if once someone said they were nerd, if they'd seen, I don't know, every Star Wars movie, that made them a nerd. And you'd pointed out that if you've seen every episode of Deep Space Nine, that does not make you a nerd. And you pointed out and I say always save this. This is an example of

a nerd. is how is you get so much dragon steel into a moon because it seems like there's a fairly significant amount. Adenolcium, Adenolcium core crashing. And Adenolcium did it. Yep, yep. And well, and like, you know, there's always like the is dragon steel Adenolcium's god metal if such a thing makes sense for Adenolcium. Those are nerds. Now, it brings me so much joy to hear

the fine folks at the Shardcast because they're right to kind of plumb those topics. What is at an Alciums God medal? What are Adonalsium's motivations? I mean, before he split into the shards, we really are not sure what that guy's up to. What caused the breaking? Why do we have honor? Why do we have ruin? Why do we have cultivation? They used to all be at an Alcian. I think you proved my point here though, don't Nick. Those are nerds. You're a fan of science fiction. Don't get it twisted. I'll tell you what this is what and also my guess was

incorrect. I thought you were going to play the scene from revenge of the revenge of the nerds. No, no, no. I've gotten much better my production value. How long did it take you to find that clip? Not that long. Did you listen to a fair amount of it? Yeah, it's very enjoyable because it's fun to hear nerds talk. Yeah. Yeah, it's hilarious Because what's amazing about those people is that they literally cannot exist outside of that zoom meeting with the others Anywhere else on planet Earth they are scared, sweating, and scared. I'll give Nick this, if you're a big fan of Star Trek, you're a nerd. Star Trek is nerdy as fuck. Okay, but do you just watch the films or do you meet with people and talk about?

Well, you know, there's there's levels to it. Fair enough. Well, Nick, I hope you did you watch Black Mary yet? We were looking they dropped six episodes. Is there one that I should check out? I've seen two fucking dog shit. They are. Which one did I watch? I read the one with Rashida Jones, and then I watched the one at the the chocolate company the chocolate company Yeah caught my eye Well, we'll talk about it another time. We've been going long anyway. Sorry All right. So Alicia is very distracted. She's texting with the Greek and Laura asks her 24 year old Stu if she's heard of the Brady Bunch

Okay, that's a stupid question because no she has not right and this is when I believe she refers to Serena as Jan. Mm-hmm. Right? I think so yes. Just complete mean girl stuff from her and this is where Serena is going wrong she goes I wanted to be sisters at the end of this. Why? She doesn't like you. She's mean to you. What is this Stockholm syndrome? Well, I think she's playing into her own insecurities and being open about it. She wants to be loved Climb out of the hole and kill your captor. Okay, that's what you have to do

So the charter guests arrive Nikita and they and they are, these are hot ladies. Hot, hot ladies. And I'm, did you see how sweaty Nate was? Nick. No, Nate. Nick, Nick was all hot and bothered. Really? I saw him walk in. I thought that was the back of poor Nick. No, that was the back of Nate. And I gotta say, don't greet people like that. Yeah, he was pretty wet. That's disgusting.

Yeah. If somebody comes over to your house, you've been woodworking or weed whacking or getting the party together. Change. You don't greet people just soaked in sweat. Yeah. It's disgusting.

I don't think I'd sweat that much if I ran a marathon. He might be on something, All right, Julie big being wild I mean while we get the tour we talk about the fish, you know, Serena's like I'm gonna I want to kind of Crack salt and scales all over the place and Laura's like I don't think that's a great idea Marina and Jason have a little chat about socks and Marina. This is you know, you got to be careful You know, don't don't call him the R word and slap his ass. You're going to get fired. That's right, right. But he's looking out for her in this moment.

He may realize that some of those little aggressive things that she's doing is because she's been trapped in the laundry dungeon for eight weeks. So he suggests to Laura that Marina be allowed out of the laundry dungeon too, because she deserves some time to shine. And in that moment, the sun is basically cleaning showers. Yeah, I mean, this is what happened to Gollum, right?

You spent too long underground and out of sunlight, you start to get a little squirrely. Laura will not. Dead on arrival, this request. Will not concede to this request because it's too difficult to be on service, right? What it what would Marina do up there? You know she couldn't serve like Poorly made Bloody Marys to drunk people. I mean it's impossible. She's not ready for that kind of thing. You know so I get where Laura's coming from

Things are running smoothly. I don't want to fuck anything up. She's gonna get in trouble for that though. I think yeah, we'll see So we get ready for the mob wife party Um, I actually got to give the ladies credit for this. This is you know, we've seen the white party the aids party This is different. So, um, we get into a little bit of a fight about plates I see both sides here. By the way. I see one side, Laura's side. Laura's side. It's an Italian dinner. What are you doing serving fucking food on coral plate? No, get it out of here.

The only reason I'm going to take at least here's arena side is she is in fact the chef and she gets to choose to you know she's created this whole meal. Yes there's a hierarchy. It also seems a little late in the we're right before service here but we're figuring this out. What happened to the chef being the head of everything? They are the head of their own department but I do believe that Laura technically has one step over her. We've seen men who are chefs aboard this vessel, boss, literally everyone around.

Doesn't matter who you are, the boss and the chief stew. I want Serena to get a little bit more gusto. So anyways, we get to dinner. It's saffron arancini balls, two types of pasta. Looked like we had a little vodka thing going on, a little truffle parm. We've got surf and turf with the exoskeleton of the sea bug adorned on top of the plate that's a lovely disgusting garnish and then we get to

Bruce. Bruce the snapper. Yeah he's a snapper and tension is really building between Zarina and Lara you're fighting over fish okay this is not the Manhattan project let's all get along. They did it in front of Captain Jason, too. Yeah, I mean, come on, guys. All in all, though, great dinner. I'd say 77 pots. That's good to hear.

Yep. So we end with a little beer pong. Nick is tasked with... Catching ping pong balls. Catching ping pong balls. One show, and listen, I don't know Nick, Nick could be great, the show can't have nerds on it.

It really can't. There is no tolerance for nerds on this show. They don't get fucked up. If they do get fucked up, it's sad. They don't have the kind of fly by the night sex addiction that we need that's customary with Sea Rats. You know the show we've had plenty of nerds on this show they don't work. All right. Barnaby do you remember Barnaby? Well Barnaby was also an alcoholic. Was he? I think so he was the one that worked he

cooked for the Obamas or something like that. I'm not sure well let's hope Nixon alcohol. He taught him how to swim. He cooked for the Obamas or something like that. I'm not sure. Well, let's hope Nixon alcohol. He taught him how to, uh, he taught him how to swim. No, not swim. He taught him how to surf. Let's cut that out. What do you mean? Barnaby bragged about teaching the Obamas how to surf. And you want to, you want to cut the swim thing out because of the chef that died? Uh, well, I don't want people to show up at my house. Actually, I don't want a joke about teaching black people to swim. Isn't there a thing about them, black people?

No, okay. I don't want to get in trouble. You're not gonna get in trouble. Okay, we end the episode with Nicholas catching pink bung balls and he doesn't do it well. And these women are just trying to get some of the awkwardness out of him, right? Because they don't want to be around it anymore, right? It's ruining their vacation. So they decide maybe if you have a little bit of liquor, you'll stop being so weird. And the slow-mo shot is made. He's given the

tequila shot and Big Red sees it and Big Red is not sure what to do. You know these Sea Rats, they'll really rat. They'll really rat man. I think Big Red if he didn't take accountability she would have shut that right up the ladder said this guy's a drunk. Yeah. God Nick Well, what I wish you would have done it would have been a cool move Especially as a nerd is if you took the shot and then you turned around and you slowly spit it out Yeah, yeah, but he didn't he sucked it down He sucked it down like the booze bag. He is right give them comments Let us know you thought about the episode. We'll be back next week. We will see the

$12 tier people over at Patreon next Wednesday and Summerhouse at patreon.com slash another podcast network. Get ready for the valley that drops when? Is the episode air tomorrow? It airs tomorrow. Yeah. Okay. All right. Well, Wednesday, we'll drop it on Wednesday and yeah, five stars, kind words, keep the reviews coming We're so grateful for them. We're so grateful that you guys listen. Love you lots. I'm Dylan saying goodbye Pat say goodbye Love