Another Below Deck Podcast - You're Not a Model | Below Deck Down Under S1 E8

Episode Date: August 24, 2022

While Nick is away Pat and Dylan break down Pizza Rat getting bullied and how that's more delicious than anything he's ever made, how Magda is not a model and how she thinks people hate her because of how pretty she is. We also talk boat safety, chryons, proms and even more Below Deck Down Under.The full season of Below Deck Down Under recaps is ALREADY available only on our Patreon at https://Patreon.com/AnotherPodcastNetworkAlso available is our coverage of Below Deck Sailing and Love is Blind seasons 1 and 2 for both shows!Check out our merch!https://anothermerchstore.comWe also cover Bachelor Nation very week on Another Bachelor Podcasthttps://bit.ly/AnotherBachelorPodcast_YouTubeThis show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/5727246/advertisement

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We're talking piping hot pizza, fresh coffee, ice-cold fountain drinks, and more. Join Inner Circle for free by downloading the Circle K app today! Terms and conditions apply at participating locations visit circlek.com for details. Dushka, if you don't remember, was the one who used to mop bathrooms and floors, and they brought her over because spas is near her, and she proceeded to cook shellfish and dry pans with no lipid inside. Sandy felt they nailed that meal, if you remember. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Teamwork. How do we guys, I was so proud of us and I know that the guests are bleeding out of their eyes right now but I am so Welcome aboard another brand spanking new episode of Below Deck. Dan and I presented by another podcast network, a Patreon exclusive episode. That was a Fococca intro, but I'm Dylan Saddle that next to one real Patrick Hickey. Hey, Nick is Ian Denver Colorado, I think, in his ass crowd. Yeah.

He brought Grammy there. Yeah, brought K there. Hope they're having a great time. Nick deserves the vacation. So do we. Hope you guys are liking this show. We're putting out, I'm trying to do the math, 47 episodes a week.

Try to make something like that. So yeah, I really hope you guys are enjoying it and we're so grateful for this opportunity we have. All right, let's get in the episode. Permission to come aboard. Permission granted. We've got to talk about, well, do you have any public service announcements to go to the end of that?

I just want to say, after down under, I need a week off or something like that. You think the audience will allow us to take a week off? We're getting sick. We are fighting with our spouses. We are not getting any sleep. And sure, sure, people like you're in this industry, you got a grind, baby, you got a grind,

but we're not Casey Neistat, okay? We just need a break after this. We need a fucking break. Let me tell you what our life is like. We watch 14 shows a week, that we come in and we record for 14 shows or something. Then we schedule interviews with C-Rats, the weird one, and we sit around and we wait, and then I email in my god, Kelsey. Weird one, docked points.

But I'm not a dog. I'm not a dog. I'm not a dog. I'm not a dog. I'm not a dog. I'm not a dog. I'm not a dog. I'm not a dog.

I'm not a dog. I'm not a dog. I'm not a dog. I'm not a dog. I'm not a dog. I'm not a dog. I'm not a dog. I'm not a dog.

I'm not a dog. I'm not a dog. I'm not a dog. I'm not a dog. I'm not a dog. I'm not have a kid, I have a cat. I have a life to live, Kelsey. I'm in my god, Kelsey. Weird one, docked points, but we're not here talking about sailing yet. We're here to talk about Bologdeck. Danana.

The worst version of Bologdeck, perhaps, of all time. You think so, it's pretty negative. I don't want to get ahead of myself's pat. What? Thoughts and knots go for it all right first off uh i'm not going to say i enjoyed the episode but there's a lot of food going there and Ryan's being i always say Dylan what makes a good reality show someone you hate and i have i officially have turned the corner

and i hate Ryan i'm going to call him the devil it's amazing that it's taken you eight weeks to get to this point, because it took me eight seconds. Well, because I thought he was being a little fake, trying to be the G-man, you know, one of those guys who thinks his S don't stink and you'll listen to him,

he's not listening to you, he knows what's right, he knows what's wrong. And he pulled it off the first two charters. Little did I know that it was just because the first charter was some dumb ticked hawkers. Right. And the second one was some has been rock trash, a whole horse.

Rock horse, yeah. Yeah. And he fooled them. Right. And he fooled me. Yep. And then we got some people that actually have some pal sensitive taste on their tongue.

Right. And they think his food is trash. Right. Well, not all the time, but sometimes. Anyway, he's the only good part of it. No, his pancakes are all right. Yeah, his apple pancakes, he has a lovely, but aside from that,

the scrambled eggs are fine. There's no fucking and sucking going on this boat. There's no little romances. You know what I mean? Everyone just wants to fucking suck hot capped. The only romance we have is Magda and her fucking cabbaged eating pollock, Tex and one of the- I fucking hate those two so much. Listen to me produce thoughts, Pots?

Uh, zero. Listen to me producers. Get the text, Kairan's off the screen. I don't give a fuck, not a single soul watching this show gives a fuck about Magda and her stupid boyfriend of five months. Stop with that storyline. They have nothing. They have nothing. Who were they think when you were, they were casting this? Who did they think was gonna bang each other? I mean, Culver is just a fun guy. I mean, I saw the trailer not to get him myself.

I think him and Brittany might make out or something eventually. But you can't count on Captain Jason to fuck his crew. He's not gonna do that. There's cameras here. And while I think he's the most authentic version of himself, he's starting to micromanage. He's starting to be a little dicky.

He's starting to get a little impatient. He wants to drive that fucking boat before, well, people are still hanging on the back. He wants to kill poop. He's his most authentic self with captain, fake captain, leaf, fake captain, sandy, their jokes. The only thing that Captain Jason isn't being authentic about is the fact that if there were not cameras here, he behaving exactly the same way, except he'd have a stew or two bent over that fucking steering wheel. So let's break this down. We did it last week. Jamie's a bad boss and Brit is not, Brit's just sat.

Brit's sad, not really contributing. Culver's fine. He's the fun guy. He is an important comedian, Andy, but he needs to have a bouquet around him. And right now all of these sunflowers are fetted and fucking stinking and rotten. Ryan is fun. Ryan is great.

He gives us a reason to hate and we need that. Asia is not a big enough of an asshole. She's a sweetheart, not very good at her job because she's too nice. Magda is a useless dumb dumb who is, I don't know, has as many brain cells as a fucking two by four to me too nice and then we've got Benny who is just a little tiny bitch who complains about shit all the time it's not good casting most Glaring example is something that you've just brought up. There is no fucking there is no sucking Screen this and then push it together like the trash compactor in a new hope.

Get these fucking sea rats to enter each other. The trash compactor negative four pots. Fuck this show, but you know what? Actually, I like this. I was out a lot. You did guy. I love the charter. I guess we're really fun.

I love them flaming Ryan constantly. I love that Ryan got completely shut out of this entire thing It made me believe in karma once again. I'm gonna give it 75 pots. All right. I will say this I wish the guests had been privy to what took place on the last charter and they just kept ordering Scramble eggs in the side of avocado. Yeah, just to just dig the knife in them a little bit more. Yeah. Oh Yeah, just to just dig they out the knife in them a little bit more. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I love these Postics Travis cancer, but what I'm really craving is some scrambled eggs in avocado Postics, Gravaganza at what my fucking God. I need a break. All right. Let's get into the episode looks like we've got a bit of a mutiny on our hands here

I try to go into the Australian accent and then bailed Jamie is not happy with hot captains reckless behavior and tells his staff to openly deny hot captains orders. That's called a mutiny. That's a mutiny. Now Benny has become incredibly attractive to hot captain. So obviously he says that Jamie is acting out of turn. It's more of a father figure, but no, he wants to fucking. I would say Benny, I agree with you, but you're a weasel. Nothing. You've done a board this vessel has been correct. And when speaking of danger, you tried to kill everyone two episodes and that fucking

skibby or whatever you call these fucking boats. Take it easy. Go take a breath, try to touch Jason's thighs. See how it goes for you. Now I want to cut to something, this is a personal story because I think I only have one page of notes or something like that, so I have to kill a lot of time. There was one shot where all the guests

as they're preparing to go up for dinner are just surrounding the bar. And it's kind of, I know, it's kind of, what do you call that? It's a wet bar. It's not really a bar with bottles behind it. It's just a fucking free standing bar there. And I was like, that's the favorite part of the night.

Right. And then share a little personal story. My buddy Greg, he has some friends down in Peru that work for Facebook with him. And we went down in my wife and I, and he all stayed at the same bed in breakfast. It's basically a house. Oh, I'm losing a frequency.

What are you talking about? You know what that happened? You could get that buzzing in your ear. Oh, you phased out? I'm losing a frequency. What's happening Is it can you hear me in both the ear? I can hear you in the right ear, but I can't hear you in the left ear because I'm losing a frequency. Oh, you know It's you get that saving private Ryan sound on the beaches of Normandy all the And Tom hangs is looking around and people are seeing if we're the're the bullets coming test ins are flying out people are crying for mommy. The guys are just happening in my ear.

Are you okay now? I don't know. What happened in Peru? So one thing that we used to do, we had a couple co-workers of Greg that lived down in Peru and we were staying in Lima, the capital city I believe. No, that might be Cusco. I don't know I'm an idiot. Anyway doesn't that I think that's a llama. So millennial joke to Emperor's new new groove go ahead. I got you. So our my favorite part of the trip was we'd always go out to dinner

at night and these friends were great hosts and in our little bed and breakfast they'd roll out a fucking bar very much the size of the one that these people and these friends were great hosts. And in our little bed and breakfast, they'd roll out a fucking bar, very much the size of the one that these people were around. And we would sit there and we drink piscos and just the... Good ones to drink. Good ones to drink.

It's basically like a margarita, but it has a fucking, the white of an egg in it. Oh, okay, kinda like a whiskey sour. It's delicious, Taylor. I am shocked, you don't know what that is. I'm shocked that you drink things with egg whites in them. Well, you got it, when you went in Rome. Anyway, that's a velvety mouth texture to it.

100%. It's great, we're just trying it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, this story's going nowhere to accept. Tastes like silk. Stories going nowhere, except to say, this is so fun when the guests are doing this before they're gonna go eat that pasta extravaganza.

Yeah, yeah. It's almost like your last thing you do before they electrocute you. Totally. It's like if everybody got together and they kind of bonded and said, now we're about to go be food poised by macaroni grill. And I know that we're paying $60,000 a day,

but let's all get together. Let's chuck back some liquor because what we're about to eat is pure shit. Yeah. I mean, food that you can pay with, you say a gift card. That's what kind of food they have. We were at some braero.

Do you have, you know what, that is that Italian now thing in malls Sabaro it's a borrow that's it. Yeah, you better understand why it took me a little bit because you said some Braille right not the hat Not the hat on a completely different country. Hey, it's time to talk about magic mine. What is magic mine? I'll tell you okay now you go a magical daily elixir that will help you Start knocking stuff off here to do this check Check What is it have 12 natural ingredients? What are they not gonna list all of them?

But one of them's matcha and what is it? Kinesha and Ashwaganda so So go to MagicMind.co, enter and promo code. Jason. For 20% off your order and free shipping guys, take Magic Mind. You'll throw people's cars at them, right? Or why I did it once, hurt that guy. Okay.

Because of the Magic Mind drink, which is also green. Well guy, fuck with me. Okay. And I picked my car up and I threw it at him It won't make you hurt people but you could have the potential to hurt people This is the ad if we're gonna be Lucy. Lucy. Let's get Lucy Sure, there's that movie about that kid that turns into Superman, but evil Superman now when you drink magic

I don't remember but when you drink magic mind you will have that inert superpower in you now because of magic mind You will choose the path of like 99% of the time but Pat is in that dark one percent and he threw a car at a guy I didn't hurt him so just be another great telling point is that it makes your nanny so smart that they will then quit and get Million dollar homes So if you do have magic buying in your home, you have to lock it up, but make sure they have an already snuck some

because then they will pretend that they don't know what it is and then you'll lock it up and then with their fucking Hulk strength, we can swear on this one. The Hulk strength, they'll rip the lock off, take the rest of the magic buying and it'll still end up not being your nanny in their million dollar home.

And you'll be stuck without an nanny, but then you'll take magic buying, you'll learn how to get a nanny, magicmind. dot co promo code Jason oh and so what you guys got to do this would be a fun thing Dylan will critique you by the magic mind and then post a video of you lifting some heavy stuff that you shouldn't be lifting and we'll talk talk about all this and I'll be the one the critiques it yeah I'm gonna do that next week. Got a magic mind.com, love you, but.

Hey, no timonus. Time to talk about us, bonus, eh? Oh, sex toys. It's time to get sexy, okay? We have to talk about Dame now. We've voiced some concerns about the product before, assuring in the singularity, but we've talked to the people at Dame and broke bread,

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bribed us to say that robots aren't gonna take over, but that's not what happened. They assured us that the robots aren't gonna take over. That would be incorrect subtext that you pulled from that. Pat. It's time to get sexy. This isn't sexy. How has Dame been helping you and Shere?

It's fun. My wife has trouble having an orgasm. The second I got these Dame products, boom, it's every time. And you know what, she's more fucking chill. That's what you want. Happy something. No, it's not a little misogynistic. I feel like you have trouble giving your wife an orgasm. I'm not hurt by that. I don't think you should be. I think she should be hurt by the way. I'm a selfish lover. Yeah, don't be embarrassed that your penis is one of the reasons why robots are going to take over this planet. Because you don't have to use your penis or hand.

Look, I just want my wife satisfied, and let me tell you something. The second I started getting shipments of these products from Dame, happy wife, happy life, dude. I think I make more money now because I wake up in the morning earlier. Yeah, she's pounded by your wife. Hey, is she using the Eva, the air, or the massage oils? It's a rhetorical question. Stop making that goddamn noise. I hope that's not a curse word. But listen,

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Use promo code below deck to get 15% off your first order. Let's get back to the show. All right, so dinner is served. Pizza rats response to the guests, they are asking him for sides with a table full of shellfish They themselves had to harvest is to overload them with carbs. We've got Rig bolanes mushroom risotto vodka sauce Palenta and a seafood Lingguini. This is the kind of food he can cook

This is the kind of food that meatballs in Philadelphia eat. And I was just wondering, did the guests ask for this? You know, we got the preference sheet, myster is gone, but I'm wondering if the guests specifically requested this. I do not believe that, and this is what a psychopath this piece of shit is, I call him the devil.

He, his counter to, oh, you want some carbs with that, those, yeah, yeah, see, hey, do you mind if we get some salad and some bread with this? What the fuck did you just say? What the fuck did you just say? I have a Vegas spread out there. Yeah, you have a bunch of fucking sea bugs out there, dude. Jesus Christ. But his counter in his psychopathic mind is, oh so they want carbs. Well I'll give them carbs. That's how this monster thinks. I calm the devil. Did there is buckets and buckets of pasta? Okay. This is macaroni grill. I'll say it again. And the bolinés looks thin. The risotto looks clumpy and overcooked, as well say it again, and the bolinets looks thin, the risotto looks clumpy, and overcooked, as well as flavorless, and the guests agree.

Now we haven't mentioned the service surrounding this atrocity either. It's impossible to white glove this because what they're going to do is dump pasta on their plates as they go and They begin to have a problem with every single bucket that is brought out the risotto is bland He tastes it after the guests have tasted it bravo chef. That's what you're supposed to be doing and it makes oh my bad This does taste like sure Then the guests begin dumping Everything they can just to taste something salt pepper garlic oil barbecue sauce get me some kind of flavor on this bucket of overcooked pasta one young lady pulls her ass hole out at the dinner table to show a little tattoo

please don't do that oh my god God, please do not do that. You know, when people were trying to add stuff to the pasta, I think someone actually, I spit in their pasta and add some flavor. Yeah, yeah. They were chewing gum earlier. Yeah, I've got some tried it. All right, so even Culver won't eat this shit.

And Culver is a butt plug and he's addicted to gains. Jamie has to dump ketchup and... Yeah and they did show him on touch and they ended it with Benny just spooning it into the trash. It is pure garbage. Stop cooking anything other than pizza. You fucking pigeon. Two pups. So Jason, reckless Jason is hot captain. Yeah, fed up with Jamie and rewards Asha with scuba diving. She's curmin excited, good for you Asha. I would say maybe reward the crew

when the guests aren't revolted by the meals and having a bad time, but whatever, you're hot captain, do whatever you want. Now one thing happened also with Captain Hot Stuff. I thought we were gonna have him take some responsibility for that whole rushing thing, the boat with a tender-getting pole then, but he cites 20 years of experience.

We're one of those years, he drove a mega yacht into a marina filled with people so it's not a perfect record listen man i've been doing this for twenty years uh... can you hang on a second quick google quick google just hold the phone of the boat crashing uh... alright

one of those years wasn't good so need a meanwhile meanwhile magda is cramming shitt her pile and fighting with her boyfriend. Brittany tells us her motto, it's about being used or something like that. That's fitting. And then the one who Polter Ass all out of dinner

pukes in the jacuzzi. Yeah. Magda asks, how can you vomit in a jacuzzi? Sorry. Have you seen this show? The jacuzzi is where people go to almost drown because they're so drunk in the water, so warm. A little bit of throw up is not that bad. Far from her. Yeah. Magna also, she believed the vomit initially to be leaves. So she's a blind Latina from Paul Liddell. Am I too preoccupied with her stupidity?

No, she's an idiot. Because later on, I mean idiot, like really, really, really dumb. Well, let's give an example of her being super stupid. Right. When Kermit critiques Magnus, skillset, I guess, with cooking some coffee at some point. Yep. And she believes this criticism is not the result

of poor work ethic or learning quick tasks on the job. But instead, the stereotyping of models, them being dumb, because she's, has officially two pictures of her on a horse in the ocean. That's not a model, Mack. Right. So, this is really where her neurodivergencies starts to drive me up a wall.

Because, that's what the horse sounded like that she was on in two pictures. because... Um... Tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tskruing people getting frustrated with how lazy and dumb she is, has an attack on her because of how beautiful she is. That's what she did. Is hair pull out kind of crazy. Couple things, you would. Especially since she only has two modeling pictures, I've seen them both,

because if they were more, I'm sure we'd see them. We would see them. And they would have some type of typeface on them, right? Because there's four selected, even a, you know, chuck it on page 12, you know, you're a model, if it's bound, but a couple things, one, you're definitely not a model. Two, she's, she's,

that's the point of it. Matt, it you because you're stupid, and three, you are less attractive than Asia So I and I don't want to sound like a pig. That's a great point. You're why do you think that Asia is attacking you because you're so Dropped and gorgeous. She's doing her work and she's not a conceited Excuse me got a part that I'm sorry. I'm gonna say something. You know ladies that are fans of ours don't like when we crit Critique the physical appearance of some of ladies, but she called herself a model. So, you know, she's free free game here. She looks like the horse As she was riding on well, I was gonna say something a little mean okay, you trim that hair a little bit and you

Put a ski cap on her. She's douche got That is so fucking true. Somebody side by side that shit. Somebody side by side. Dooshka. Dooshka, if you don't remember, was the one who used to mop bathrooms and floors and they brought her over because spas is near her. And she proceeded to cook shellfish and dry pans with no lipid inside. Sandy felt they nailed that meal, if you remember. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Teamwork.

How do we guys, I was so proud of us, and I know that the guests are bleeding out of their eyes right now, but I am so proud of us. Sandy, one of the primaries is looking for you right now. What do you think she wants? She's screaming about how her food sucked. She's saying something about how she has excess skeletons in her throat. They should have been cleaned out. She said she's bleeding.

Can you tell her to wait? I got to tell my team, I'll kick ass they are. Alright, so moving on to another piece of shit. Pizza Rat says that the night before he tried to do 900 things and that's why dinner sucked. Oh yeah. It wasn't 900 things, it was five buckets of pasta that you could have par cooked ahead of time

if you knew what you were doing. But breakfast goes great because it's pancakes and bacon. How can you fuck that? I could pull that off. How can you fuck that up? So, excuse me, do you want to explore the sad psyche of Brit a little bit more or just not? That's just sad because she didn't go to any proms or any places The where there was dancing apparently and she didn't date anybody in high school

Neither did old patty yeah except for Kelly where I lost my virginity to and then she banged the entire football team Yeah, yeah, you know, I prefer to have not dated anybody honestly looking back at those memories. Yeah very dramatic Yeah, hey, did you bang, Kelly? Yeah. Oh, do you know if Jeff did? Yeah, we did it in the same room with him. Oh, yeah, I definitely know the Jeff did. I smelled it.

I know. How about Todd? Todd did, oh yeah, Todd did too. Yeah, fuck. You know who else did? Those 50 guys. That's so, so sad. I hope she's okay.

She's okay. I know you're doing okay. I hope she's okay. We're friends. She got really ill about five years ago and someone let me know and that's when I just joined Facebook. I wrote her a nice note.

Hmm. Interesting. You joined Facebook in 2016? Uh, 2016 or late 15, yeah. It's a good time to join right when Trump gets into office Really ratchet something toxic. Oh, you get political on me. I block you. Yeah, okay good All right, so the guests are going to pick which crew members they want to go to crew prom with and it looks like everybody's got a date except Pizza rat Well someone needs to take the picture. I'm sorry

I'm sorry He says I wanted to not work and try to fuck the one that threw up in the jacuzzi Too bad too fucking bad so the guests had out to go scuba diving and we get a large swath of the show that literally has nothing to talk about. Well, it was kind of fun to see that you know, I could see some of those reefs were You could see the yeah, that's what you'd refer to it. They're losing the coat of skin over them the actual flesh of the coral Yep, those are called stony corals. Yep. Yeah. We're destroying the planet and it's because the major metric and input into capitalism is, biblically, the root of all evil. Alright, don't get political here. There's a lot of other reasons. Well, I mean, when you have the root of all evil being the thing that drives

your economy forward, I mean, and I don't know what the answer is But I just feel bad for the corals. Well, it's the the temperature of the ocean going up from 77 just 50 years ago to now 82 degrees It's sometimes the year. Yeah, and I think the solution is we just got to find out where the Koch brothers live It's let their throats and then put them on display, people that make soda. We got to take a break from probably Natasha and Dave's Toxic. Probably. And talk about one of our favorite sponsors, hands down, one of our favorite sponsors. I bet.

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Green Chef, it's the number one meal kit. For eating well. Now, a word from our sponsor. Better help. Pat. Yeah, buddy. I'm going to ask Nick this question. Okay. How well Nick? How well would you take care of your car?

You know if you had to keep the same one your entire life. How well would you take care of that car? Don't even answer. That's how our brains were. No, I'm gonna answer it. Go forward. Really well. Right. In the past, not so well. And I think if you wanted to. A tree fell on your car last time. I think, well, I guess that wasn't me, but I didn't care of it.

But if you parked it there next to a tree, it was rotting. Yeah. And kind of, you were welcoming Murphy's Law into your life at that point with that car specifically. I'm not arguing that I treated my car well. The tree falling on my car. And we told you not to get it either.

It's like an alpha Romeo. Like people can't work on that car. People like don't know what that is. It's like it's a dumb investment. But we can't. We can't. I'm getting another alpha Romeo in December that I'm paying for a cash and I will love it

and I will take care of it. I didn't take care of my cars before. Just like I didn't take care of my mental health before. But now to continue the analogy, I'm going to take care of the car that I'm going to get in December. You just have an alpha Romeo. Right, right, right. Take care of just like I do my mental health going forward with better health. Better health is online therapy that offers video fun and even live chat only therapy sessions. So you don't have to see anyone on camera if you don't want to.

It's much more affordable than in-person therapy. And you can be matched with the therapist under 48 hours. Can I say one more thing? On that night, it was the night of the Super Bowl 2020. 600 trees were cleaned up from the city of Los Angeles. So it was the biggest wind storm we've had in decades. Our listeners get 10% off their first month. I'm fair of you after him doing this.

Betterhelp.com slash below deck. And just in case you didn't hear that because there's no way you could have our listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com slash below deck. That is B-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P.com slash below deck. Love you, take care of your brain. All right, so, hold on. I want to get to Tony To me for one second because to me couldn't be happier about this whole problem, right thing, right?

And she says one day She hopes to be married to a primary and I was thinking you better hope the first name is in simple last name Yeah, I love his first name. I said I know. I love how his last name. Chuck. Yeah, I love how his first name's it. No, no, no, no. I love how his last name's Chuck. All right, so I can understand why Jamie does not like Captain Jason.

He's almost killed dozens of people, including Jamie. He's going to prom and he's just going scuba diving. I mean, the guy guys just fucking kicking his feet Down under is another planet asha says something that you and Nick speak of very very often She says that she feels like an alien visitor and this is something that we talked about last week I mean Jimmy camps can tell us a thing or two about that, you know He went to the bottom of Mariana's trench because he has too much money.

Alright, so more Magda and her dumb boyfriend fight and we head back to the boat. Pizza Rat is rightly a little miffed that Asha takes her break right after she gets back from scuba diving. Unfortunately, this manifests in him slapping pork and speaking so lowly of Asia that even Magda is like, well, you're a little angry. Why don't you calm down? This sounds personal. Yeah, she was still grabbing.

She was buying what he was selling a little bit because she's feeling a little bit too. And I think he was connecting with a fellow ear. Maybe the best of this. A fellow low frequency demon. Yeah, she's like, I think she thinks a fellow ear. Maybe the best of this. A fellow low frequency demon. Yeah. She's like, I think she thinks Kermit's a bitch too. Yeah.

Let's start being a team. Then he starts talking about how you could get someone fired or something like that. Yeah. Oh no. He's trying to get something going. If you can get two more people on the team, you can have a mutiny. Yeah. Let's talk about how delusional pizza rat is for a second.

So in his mind, he thinks that if Magda and Tumi are the only people that work interior, everything will be solved. You are a fucking idiot. God, these people. All right. So, below the exhaling hot cast is just, I mean, you got, so, below the Xailing Uts cast is just, I mean, you gotta admit, it's just infinitely better. Oh, yawning?

Yeah. Gabby Ashley, the weird boring, Gary Cazidog, Marcos, it's just a better cast. I'm interested in their lives, not only which one will enter who at what given day. Yes, 100%.

All right, so the deck crew is told to do stuff. Jamie says over the radio, make sure you do it safely, everybody. Whoa, caddy daddy, my god. In an M night shami man twist, they fucked up again. And much like a fetch, the term that Gretchen was trying to make happen, we're trying to make this quick paste narrative happen. I don't envy the people who were editing this show, but I can still say you didn't do a good job because tonight we've got two main narrative thematic occurrences and reoccurrences.

I brought it up before Magda texting her boyfriend. And to be fair, any girls in those pictures? They came with his friends. Go eat a pickle egg and leave me alone. Two, this don't do things too fast if you're not ready to do it narrative with the deck. I mean, who could care less? I'm telling you, Dylan, my theory is this wasn't when they started shooting this. This wasn't, uh, hey, we got a production.

This is going to launch this on peacock. No, no, no, no. This was going to be on Bravo. And then they saw what they got. You think so? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Interesting.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So what you're talking about though, I wanna say this about Brit or Britini, whatever the fuck her name is. Her name is Brit. When it's- That her name is Brit. Thank you.

When Captain Jason hot captain has to come down because he wants to haul ass to get that theme going and she's fucking up being too slow it's because the remote in her hand was the wrong remote yeah I would argue there are two remote and they're two feet away from each other yeah and they're both yellow. Right. Okay. Once for the starboard, once for the bow.

Right. Aren't you paint one of them blue? Let's chuck a piece of tape on one if we don't have any tape. Maybe a little nail polish. Yeah. You can write an S for starboard, a P for port. But Jamie has a little chat with HotC hot captain after this and he says that the crew needs time and they need to slow down and learn before they can be efficient.

You got to push them all. And hot captain Jason, hot captain, hot captain asks correctly, what do you think that'll happen? Second to last day. Shut up. Go teach your team how to work. So we find out the Jamie became the man he is today, former stripper turned Bosen because of a vodka so kruski who used to abuse high schoolers. Yeah, I was I was kind of conflicted with this because

you didn't you didn't do a lot of athletic. Oh yeah, I did a lot. I had a horrible athlete. Not a lot of people admit that to themselves. I was though. There were days where we were subjected to torture, you know. Dude, I had a coach during a football game. Come out and grab me by my helmet. Yeah. At the guard and swing me around by my neck.

In front of 200 parents. Yeah, by the way, this is 1992 right not a single phone call. No one said something. Yep. He apologized to me. Right. I didn't ask for one Didn't know I was supposed to get one and that's it. I was I was playing a defensive end and they kept running a swing on me Where they tossed the ball and they were a sweep right and they kept running a swing on me where they tossed the ball and they were a sweep. And they kept getting around me. And they realized they got a weak spot. They kept doing it three times. The coach runs on the field, grabs my helmet and essentially physically assaults me in front

of 200 parents. Now, let me tell you about my little... I still hate Dane Dymotopoulos. Sure. He can go fuck himself. Of course. I hope he dies of cancer cancer of course. I had a friend that came out here three years ago And he goes his name's very bad way and he's like oh, yeah, you know my were friends with the Dymotop So I said that piece of shit. Yeah, I hope he fucking dies Well, but do you want now that is a bridge too far?

I would say but the story that Jamie had of them running until they'd thrown up I was Prevy to that kind of wondrous treatment many times. Our first day back of varsity and I think I was a sophomore, they said, all right, before you kick a ball, we are running a mile. You have to do it in under seven minutes. And it was a way to just tell everybody, you're way at a shape, you need to get much better. And some people did it, some people didn't, I don't know how I did, it's just crazy to think about running a sub seven minute mile nowadays. It's insane.

But a lot of people were throwing up. When I was on JV, my freshman year, one of the days somebody fucked up something and everyone had to line up in the goal and varsity got to take shots at us. We bent over, put our asses in the air, covered up the back of our ball sack and just let them rip, right? One of the kids told his mom and she got every single coach on JV fired. Every single coach on JV fired. Wow. Every single coach on JV was fired.

And I don't want that to happen. Sure, that's a dangerous thing to do. Sure, people's a little tiny balls could get hurt. But it's a fun, rassing kind of thing. You know, I think it's just, it's boy stuff. It's boy stuff. We got to kind of stretch a little bit. We got a stretch the show is just it's not giving us a ton Oh, we were saying stretch yes, yes, I was gotta say we got to find a balance where you're not abusing children and

Scaring the shit out of them, but they need a little bit of scaring and they got beat the shit out of me Just a little bit. Yeah, but you cannot grab a child's head and swing it around. I also had Mr. Stillman freshman year basketball. I went and got a drink at the faucet while he was talking in between like a player some. And he just beamed me off the back of the head with the basketball while he was drinking. And then when I came to,

he screaming at me in front of everybody. Yeah. No, I think we've gone a little too far. One way, let's go back and I mean with both things. I was covering this show and the abuse of children. Just like Jamie, it made me the man I am today. So, let's get to prom. Everyone is having an absolute blast. And Chef Ryan is hearing every last second of it.

Numb, numb, numb, numb, numb. every last second of it. The best part about this entire thing is that he's asked to come take a photo. He is disinvited and then told to be the photographer. Now I'm not a Buddhist or anything quite yet, but how can you not believe in karma when you see something like this? I mean, my god, it was such a beautiful universal punishment. So hot cap, that's a copy of Katsun, and he heads down and he asks him directly, hey, will you come upstairs and take a photo? And he salts the way I give that he's about to fuck up

and eventually does head upstairs. But he's gonna make you wait. He's one of those people. Yeah. He's always in his people. He's always in his brain. He needs a, there's a scorecard going on. Right. And he needs to make sure he's the winner. So he's, I'm going to torture you. Right. Just a little bit. Yep. It's like if, um, let's say you're in trench warfare, right? World War One. Here we go. And someone stabs you through the throat. Hey, you fucking stab me. Right. And as you're dying

and coughing out blood and thinking of the girlfriend that you have the throat. Hey, you fucking stab me. Right. And as you're dying and coughing out blood and thinking of the girlfriend that you have back home in Arkansas, you slice them across the calf, right? Okay. And he's living away a little bit and you're too. And you think you've won, right? And then you slip on to the AT doctor life.

Yeah. What an idiot this guy is. That's him. Can you slip on to the answer life? What are you saying? What I see? I get this guy. That's him. So he takes the photo and the meltdown continues. He asks, to me, what's up? And when she tells him, I don't know, ask the chiefs to. He says, I have a better idea.

Fuck that. I'm just going to cook the food the way I want it. You know, Ryan, you may think that actually or Asia shouldn't have a job, but she does. And guess what? She kind of tells you what to do. And she's a woman. And you don't outrank her. She's pretty important. I'm sorry. I know that hating women is a Philadelphia tradition. But, uh, it's throwing rocks at Santa during the Christmas parade. Yeah. You believe they do that there?

You believe that Bill Burr had that rant about, they have one of the greatest boxers of all time, this black boxers from Philadelphia. They have a statue of Rocky Balboa, a fictional character. He's like, that's how fucking racist you piece shit All right, so before we get to dinner to me complains that she cannot take part up take part in prom What is up with these sea rats? What do you think that you just get to? Just get to rage all night. I mean you're a you're a fucking Dinner hits the table

Yeah. Dinner hits the table. We've got bows, we've got bowls of kimchi, we've got slabs of pork belly, and dare I say perfectly cooked wagyu. I wanna opus day myself for thinking this, but it looks fantastic. Really? It looked fantastic.

This is really the only meal that he has served that I felt looked edible. Well, Captain Hot Jason, that discrees with, he'll let him discuss that with him next morning. You don't think a salad was missing? This conversation needs to be had, but I didn't think that this was the night for it to happen because everyone loves it. It looks delicious. Pork is kind of a little too thick. It's a trashy. No one needs to eat a slab of pork belly. That big.

I mean, your throat will feel like gelatinous if you consume that entire thing. Also, you won't be able to piss for like three, it'll be pissing out like fucking gasoline. But it is 80 pots and hot captain doesn't give a shit. He's distracted for a brief moment though by the guests wanting to move to the Philippines with him and further pauses his eye or towards pizza rat

to do the worm with the guests upstairs. I mean, this man has had himself a day. He went scuba diving. He's getting hit on vacation He's on vacation only missing is the cameras if they weren't there he'd get to bend over a Stoo yeah over that steering wheel Benny and Magda both why not makes things up dude live your life He's evolved. It's the pinnacle of cool fucking guys and girls so It's the pinnacle of cool fucking guys and girls. So I Can't just shooting a fire hot captain shouldn't be partying this hard But at least he's doing something to try and kind of give these people an experience

He knows he's hot. He knows that he you know hot people do They they they increase people's like good chemicals in the brain. It's a spell. We need good looking people. It's a fucking spell that people cast. All right, you say you have a house party and there's 14 people, there's all only people that are bored and stuff like that. Have two hot people. Two hot people.

Watch what happens to that party. Yep. Everyone starts getting on their bed like, oh, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, hey. Not magged. Oh, not magged, definitely. We're talking about hot people. No, not people that think they're hot,

but look like fucking horses. All right. We're this guy. Okay, so Magda heads to sleep, having done absolutely nothing. And we rise for the final day. We get more texts from her boyfriend, I bravo, peacock, whoever did this, knock it off,

not a single soul cares cares not one fucking Iota Let's get to pizza rat. He gets told by Captain Jason hot Captain Jason to We have some constructive criticism Ryan responds by saying I like criticism Sure you do I tell them to make Instagram food Jason I can't believe I'm saying this, but stay in your lane. It's the same trap that fake captain time share Sandy said to with the Russian spy, she kept like going on Instagram

and pulling up like photos and like, we need this. Where's that from? Oh, that's 11 Madison Park. Yeah, a 13 hour shift went into that and seven people. So can you please shut the fuck up and leave me alone, Sandy? All right, but the most important thing is the groveling bitchiness

that is just the soul of Pizza Rat. When he hears this, he goes, no prop cap. I'm gonna knock breakfast out, I don't get right to that. And he got to the OTF, so he says, he can go fuck himself You know what he's not the captain of this boat. He's a fucking guest at the table. I don't give a shit What do you think? Well, he also says Captain hot chase and is not his priority and then the 64 thousand dollar question must be

Who is Ryan? Yeah, oh certainly not the guest buzzer buzzer. Yeah Ryan Ryan is Ryan's priority so He says that he's not essentially not his boss and hey rat. I think you've got that wrong So as we mentioned Magda is useless laundry is not done. There is trash everywhere But thank god magda and her fellow picoliter are doing well today Who cares Ryan? Slaps more links on a plate and fries some fucking bread and the guests Depart these people are vibrant and are openly shitting on Ryan. I love them I think Tom gave from USA is a little caddy towards the way staff think that's a sign of a disgusting human being but did they tip well yes they did so i'm going to talk about

us currency uh... it was sixteen thousand two hundred and thirty dollars which uh... each c rat will get uh... thirteen hundred dollars in uh... i'm sorry third no that's what three hundred fifty three dollars each uh. Mag's gonna get the helmet for the night and then they talk about wearing gloves up the hallways or some shit like that who gives the fuck. Yeah, all right. So the disparity between the tips is truly astounding. Yes.

I think the people on sailing I get a full grand more sometimes than these people. Her person. Last episode we just recap recap they ended up with $2,500 each right for a charter so more than a grand more per person yes unbelievable maybe it's just people thinking that because you know when you go to foreign countries you're like oh I don't have to tip yeah someone told me they don't even tip in australia so you tip 10% yes instead of the 20 that you tip in the United States.

I don't know, maybe that's it. Someone, when I was in Rome, someone told me, oh yeah, they don't do tipping here. I was like, yeah, who can hear this? I left a guy at 20. Guy chased me around the street to thank me. It was the weirdest thing. Yeah.

Rome, my favorite place on planet Earth. Oh no, you like Florence, didn't you? No, Florence is beautiful. Don't give me wrong. Florence is beautiful, but there's truly nothing like Rome. And I wanna go back more than anything, but the problem is, I don't go play same movie. Not anymore.

I don't go anywhere. I haven't shared this with my wife yet. Good luck getting me on a plane. You can't do it. You just can't do it. What do you mean? I can or she can. No.

I'm really speaking of everybody, but some people can, some people can. I think those people that can are insane. Did you hear the story of the champagne that went around the plane the other day? Mm-hmm. Well, the mask bandaid went down and everybody calmed down. I'm a flaming lab still. Just chill out. But champagne goes around the plane and everybody's toasting and there's one woman

who keeps her mask on and says she's insulted and disgusted by this celebration. and say so. She's insulted and disgusted by this celebration. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Someone open the exit door and throw her the fuck out. That's it for us. We'll be back next week with more below deck. Dan and we don't like the show, but we're having a fun time covering it

and getting in this room together. I don't like anything. We love you guys. That's the only thing we love. Thank you so much for supporting us in the most important way you can with your wallet. I'll joke this side. We love you.

Tell your friends, tell your family, still credit cards, jump in the comments and let us know. We'll see you next week. I'm Dylan Gatangabai. Nick say goodbye. Bombayade. That's a goodbye. Good bye Judy was boring.

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