Anything Better? - A Jewish Guy That's Like A Priest

Episode Date: August 19, 2023

what's up everybody and welcome back to the anything better podcast uh with your host me paul bursey in new york bill burr over on the other side of the, I almost said globe. I hope you're not on the other side of the globe. And Andrew Themlis, his empty chair over there in Beverly Hills, our great producer. You guys are listening to another episode, a good episode and a good number episode, guys. This is episode number 84. Okay. Well, the great 84s of all time. I don't think I'm going to get past this first one. Paul's going to have to say something. Let's see. Number 84, a guy named

Randy Moss, Paul. One of the first jerseys that I ever actually proudly wore around, even though I was a Giants fan, somebody bought me an 84 Vikings jersey the purple one and I was so enamored oh you know you know I loved he had his sunglasses on at the draft everybody said he was a bad kid he was a criminal I loved the head case from when I was young like you said wasn't the guy was I used to love when he would take a step and a half off the line and just put his hand up he already knew he was open I already knew he was open. I already knew he was open. I just want to say one story. Andre Reid.

Can I just say one thing? Yes. I got to say one thing here. I never seen anything like this in all the sports when the 07 Patriots came to Giant Stadium to go 16-0. Dude, this is coming. No, no, no. And Brady walks up to the line, dude I looked oh I just have to I looked at

my friend Nick and I go dude why is Randy single covered and that's when they both got the record on that play where he just does a three-step drop looks this way throws Randy a bomb Randy just catches it like they're in practice and just throws the ball and they both got the record and I was just like and and when randy moss went into lambeau field as a rookie and caught three touchdowns under the lights at lambeau in green bay it was like one of the sickest things ever i'm done i just had to have done and moon the crowd right and the last time the most disgusting thing All right. Randy Moss, 84. Andre Reid.

Shannon Sharp. This is a great number. Andy Robustelli. Roddy White. These sound like wrestlers. Gary Clark. Antonio Brown. Joey Galloway.

Herman Moore. Eric Martin. Sterling Sharp. Both Sharp brothers. Love Sterling Sharp. Jack Snow. Bill Stanfill, Joe Robb. Dude, there's a zillion guys here. Let me try to, Bob Trumpy, Chris Chambers, Haywood Jeffries. There's a great old school black guy name needs to come back, Haywood.

Haywood's a great fucking name. Haywood's great. Webster Slaughter. Webster Slaughter, Sean Jefferson, Gene Washington. uh hey what's a great fucking name hey what's great slaughter webster slaughter sean jefferson gene washington of the 49ers i had that football card willie davis jt smith trying to find somebody from our era a lot of old school guys here billy white shoes johnson oh my god uh paul mcguire daryl stingley rest his soul daryl stingley he's the one who got paralyzed in the uh preseason game against the raiders played for the patriots oh yeah and on that happy note oh jesus um yeah dude 84 84, 84, Randy Moss.

Somebody said something, and I don't know if this is a fair assessment. They go, if you put Jerry Rice's brain in Randy Moss's skill set and body, he'd be like the greatest. I don't know if that's a fair thing. You know, it's like, you know, do that math again. If you had Randy Johnson johnson what no no they said if you had randy johnson no if you had jerry rice's brain and you put it in randy moss's head and talents like skill level you'd have the greatest and i'm like randy's kind of number two or three still and i don't know if you know they're also also saying Randy was dumb.

Well, no, what they're saying is the work ethic. They're saying like Jerry Rice run up the fucking bleacher stairs every day. Jerry Rice was the guy. And I'm like, I don't know if Randy had to do that. If Jerry Rice had Randy Moss' skill set, you're telling me that he would be doing all the shit that he was doing? You know, yeah. Like he had Dante Culpepper. Then he had the guy in the Raiders.

Then he had, you know, he had, I know he had a late Randall Cunningham. Like, you know, he had different coaches. I mean, I got to be honest with you. I like, I mean, these people, they're reaching pretty far if they have some sort of problem with Randy Moss. I mean, if you got a fucking problem with Randy Moss, they go, you know.

It's like Terrell Owens. Okay, yeah, all right. The guy had his fucking, you know, run-ins with the media and stuff like that. But very quietly, he's the third all-time in everything as a wide receiver. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, dude. And, like, wide receivers get a lot of shit for going in and going dude i'm open they get like people like dude don't say that but it's like you know their job is to fucking go out there and get open and i would i would be like i would do it nice though

i mean i don't think you have to write a whole book about it yeah he sean johnson wrote a whole book basically saying that he was wide open in chapter two i'm still open i still want the book couldn't that just have been a statement um dude how about the story about Warren Moon? Warren Moon and Chris Carter, it's one of the best stories ever. Oh, yeah, you'll love this. An early young Chris Carter, a little arrogant swagger Chris Carter, is playing with Warren Moon, and he fucking did this thing where he showed up his quarterback and was shaking his head, and apparently Warren Moon fucking grabbed him,

looked in his face, and he goes, if you ever fucking show me up in this offense again, I will fucking bury you in this offense. Nobody will know your fucking name. I heard that. That was, yeah. He was like, don't fucking do that, dude. Don't do that.

Yeah, yeah. That's great, dude. My favorite thing Warren Moon said. But then Warren Moon beat his wife. So it's like, yeah. That's great, dude. My favorite thing Warren Moon said. But then Warren Moon beat his wife. So it's like, ah. You know, he had a bad Fourth of July weekend. It happens. Hey, you know.

Well, maybe she showed him up at the cookout. She asked for medium rare and he gave her medium and she's over there at the table like she bit her burger and was like they grabbed her by her blouse don't you ever fucking show me I will bury you in this family you'll never get french fries in this fucking house again

you understand me my favorite thing he said was uh when that the uh the houston oilers defense started calling the the houston astrodome the house of pain the house of pain like we're gonna fucking fuck you up and all of that type of shit and warren moon finally goes listen you guys gotta stop saying that shit because i'm the guy that pays the price for this because the other defense is coming in going like you want to see pain we're gonna do this and and he goes you guys are on defense you don't have to come out here and take fucking hits to shut the fuck up with that stuff that's great i would be like that and then he beat the coach

he beat the defensive coordinator dude isn't it suck that like people's business is out there in the public eye like i was i was uh yeah because i'm riffing on this joke i don't even know if it's true and that's really like i don't want to be joking. I shouldn't be joking about that. No, I heard some shit about him. And I hope it's, I mean, look, they said that. Listen, I stand by, I still stand by Warren Moon, you know,

and I have no idea what his wife said to him. Dude, you know the singer Seal? Come on, you missed that, Paul. That was the old school blaming the victim. I heard it. You know the singer Seal? Oh wife oh no what did she say that was america in the 1950s somebody goes dude what happened to rihanna was fucking horrible and nobody deserves that he goes i just want to know what she said 15 seconds before that.

It's like, listen. I made that joke to my wife, and she was fucking pissed at me. And then like a week later, my mother-in-law came over. And she goes, I know I shouldn't say this. And Nia goes, Mom, Mom. She just goes, I just want to know, what was the last thing she said? Wow, that's fucking awesome. Mom, mom. She just goes, I just want to know what was the last thing she said? Wow. That's fucking awesome. I think women know.

They just know. They know how to fuck with the man's brain. Yes. So it's like they want to know what she said so they can compare their game to hers to be like, oh, you don't say that. That's where she fucked up. The same way we watch sports going through. Why did he throw into double coverage right there? What are you doing?

He should have just taken the sack or throw it away. Yeah. And listen, by the way, let me just say this. Nobody here at the Anything Better podcast condones any violence against women. Paul, let me just say this. I don't beat my wife. I love my wife. Paul, we joke about everything on this podcast,

and I'm not going to fucking sit here and apologize for anything, because if you're some jerk off who just fucking takes shit seriously, then you shouldn't be watching this. I'm done explaining comedy. That's right. Does anybody really need to sit here and be like it's ridiculous i'm saying twice a year paul just to keep them honest uh dude i got one for you all right i i talked about this on a

i said this before so i'm trying to do this thing but when i fight with stace i apologize when i'm wrong and i really make an effort to go i'm wrong you know i mean you know it's not it's not often i'm literally picturing you like kobe you know like when kobe knew he's gonna lose the series he always be do that thing by trying not to cry i'm picturing you for some reason with your chain out. Paul, is there something you need to tell me? And you're sitting there. She was going at me.

I was sitting down. The kids were in bed. And I was just going through the phone. And she just came out and she goes, she just goes, can you get off your phone? Like, what the? And like, she had this like, Hang on, hang on.

I got to walk away for a second so she goes Paul I can't even tell you how much I would jump on the hook and take the bait on that one and she just goes yeah she just goes and I go what I go the kiss and she just had this look of fucking like she's like you're always just like she had like she had this fucking thing

where she's done like with the fucking phone thing. And I just go, I go, dude, I go, can you mind your fucking business? Right? Fantastic. Now listen. Now listen. I knew I shouldn't have cursed.

But it felt good. Oh, you had to. And so then later, she just gets up when she closed her book and she walks away. And I don't like talking to my wife bad. You know, listen, she said things to me. Paul, every once in a while, a manager has to get thrown out of a game to keep morale high. Yeah, that was me being Aaron Boone. You're coming up home plate with the dirt on that one.

Aaron Boone winks at his assistant, goes, I'll get him riled up. So she leaves and she goes in a bedroom and I'm going, dude, I was like, I don't fucking know if I should have said, you know, I could have said it different. So I just go to the bedroom. She's sitting in the bedroom watching TV and I walk in and I just looked at her and I was like, hey, seriously. Mind your fucking, no um i just i said my no i just go hey i said i shouldn't have cursed at you i love you i shouldn't have cursed and then i went in the bathroom and dude i'd be honest with you mind your business i should have said i should have politely said you know can you mind your business and she just i said i'm sorry i shouldn't curse at you like that that's my bad i shouldn't have done that and i said you know can you mind your business and she just i said i'm sorry i shouldn't curse

at you like that that's my bad i shouldn't have done that and i said you know and and then dude i'll be honest with you the next day like it didn't happen everything was good i'm like you know something dude all right all right because you know i told you what my stepfather said my stepfather dropped the gem he goes real love is apologizing even when you're right and i just go that i can't do that i can't i won't do that but i do that is not real love that is a man trapped in a relationship that he fantasizes every day on the way to work rewinding what if i just walk by her on that day if i just walk by her dude Dude, you don't apologize when you're right. That's not real love.

That's dealing with, that's treating your wife like a fucking child and placating all of that crap to her emotions. Oh, Paul, you got me a little heated here. You got me a little heated here. This is what it is. You apologize. Oh, he leaned up, Andrew. He leaned Andrew. You apologize when you're wrong, Paul. Always apologize when you're wrong because that builds credibility for when you're actually, when you're right. If you argue all the time, she's just going to look at you like

you're an asshole. But if you actually apologize when you're wrong and say, you know what, you're right. I'm going to work on that. Are you right? I shouldn't have said that. Then like you're an asshole but if you actually apologize when you're wrong and say you know what you're right i'm gonna work on that are you right i shouldn't have said that then when you're actually arguing something you you've built up this credibility where hopefully she'll be going like well he's really staying on this point this must mean something to him maybe i did something wrong yeah but that's that's the best you're ever going to get out of a woman. Maybe I did something wrong. Okay. Maybe I was wrong.

No, no, definitely. Definitely. You were wrong. Do you know? Yeah. Do you know what the number one thing? Narcissist? One of the top, they, the number top three things narcissists say when you call them

out or somebody, I mean, I'm not saying any of our wives things narcissists say when you call them out? I mean, I'm not saying any of our wives are narcissists. I'm just saying a narcissist has a couple of go-tos that are telltales and red flags that they're a narcissist. One thing is they go, well, I'm sorry you feel that way. Oh, dude, that's a bad one, dude. You should get thrown off a fucking porch if you ever say that to somebody saying oh i'm sorry you feel that way it's basically saying like this is you not me you're fucked up it's really passive aggressive it's really yeah no if i ever said that to

somebody and i wasn't immediately trying to figure out how to get out of some hedges and I wasn't immediately trying to figure out how to get out of some hedges, then I don't respect the person. Remember that shit where you'd just be in the hedges and trying to move my leg first? Yeah. I'm the only guy who ever got thrown in some fucking hedges for being a wise ass. I think I fell in hedges at my grandmother's once, and my feet were up. It was hard to get out.

in hedges at my grandmother's one so my feet were up it was hard to get out i think everybody's like the the fucking the shrub is like it's holding you up and holding you down at the same time there's got to be somebody to grab your hand out of it um one thing i wanted to talk about on the show today since we are all bill we are approaching NFL week one. It is coming soon. All the players are now in camp, which is great. I'm getting ready for my New York football giants. But we had a scare with Saquon Barkley. The scare was he wanted a deal and the Giants franchise tagged him. And the franchise tag was worth like $10-something million. He wanted a deal.

The Giants wanted to make the deal happen. Okay? And the franchise tag was worth like $10-something million. He wanted a deal. The Giants wanted to make the deal happen. Okay? The number one paid player that's a running back gets $16 million. The number two player that's a running back gets $15 million. They were offering Saquon a franchise tag for $10. His lawyer is going, oh, Jamie Bendel. Shout out to Jamie Bendel, Atlanta Punchline.

He's a big Giants fan. He's going, he's listening to the agent the agent's fucking up that's hilarious but the agent said get a deal worth this so he wanted a deal worth like 14 million a year the giants are like we'll give you a three-year deal and make you happy now but it's not should have got 12 yeah the giants go we're not going to do we're not going to do the deal that you want because it's just not in our thing, but we'll do 11-5 a year. You'll get 11-5, we'll give you three years. And they were basically a million and a half to two million off, and they lose the deal.

And now they're going, he's not happy, he's going to hold out. And you know what he did, though? He goes, look, I actually thought about sitting out, but that's not what i'm gonna do he goes so they gave him a franchise tag they said which is almost 11 million for one year but the whole thing now is saying that the nfl running back is more of a dime a dozen and anybody could be filled in there now with the new way the game is played and the running backs that are putting their fucking putting it out there on the line. They're going, what the fuck, dude?

Like this is this. They're almost like they almost want to strike. But I still think the NFL running back, Paul, is the NBA, is the football version of the NBA center. The guy down there, you know, feed me down the low post. The game just doesn't it just doesn't go that player's way anymore. The fucking goddamn center is standing out shooting trees next to Steph Curry. Now that's true.

But doesn't it run out running back? It's like, you got to be like Roger Craig. Roger Craig was, was fucking 40 years ahead of his time. Now that is the position. And it's like, you're probably going to have, I would be interesting to see the average running back, the amount of attempts versus the amount of times he's thrown the ball. Like back in the day, I mean, I swear to God, Paul, when I was coming up,

if you threw a pass to a running back that was longer than eight yards, they always dropped it. They couldn't fucking catch an NFL pass to save their fucking life. And there was the occasional guys like the Walter Paytons, the Roger Craig's, guys like that that could do everything. But it was like, you know, that whole establish the running game, eat up the clock, wear out their defensive line, just beat them down, beat them down, beat them down is, you know, the NFL passes. It's their version of the NBA three pointer. Everybody's thrown for 300 yards. Everybody's got like 40 fucking attempts a game. They aren't as necessary.

I think if he wanted to get the money, he actually would have to get his receiving yards up, like all-purpose yards. I mean, I think it's nuts. I feel like $12 million a year sounded about right for that guy because if the top guy's getting $16, he's not almost half gonna get half the money is the best guy in the league i know he's had some injury shit but um that guy's uh

i don't know what's the guy in the fucking titans getting no he's he's around like i think he's around like 12 they're saying he's like you know he's had a rough year last year's like 12 million something like that you know why paul because they were running him like they used to run like uh what's his name wilder on the fucking uh tampa bay buccaneers he'd get like 45 attempts and there'd always be some retired running back in the booth going like man if they do that every game this kid's not gonna last like that's how hard they hit and that was back then they hit even harder now they're even faster now like it just beats the fuck out of you george uh george kittle the tight end of

the 49ers was on a podcast i don't know whose it was deal was one of these guys and he just goes he goes what is it like during the week? And he goes, all right. He goes, Monday, you're sore. He goes, Tuesday's the worst. He goes, Tuesday, you're just in pain all day. He goes, Tuesday is the second day you feel it. He goes by like Thursday after being worked on, you start coming to, you start getting good.

And he goes by Friday, you're kind of ready. And then he goes, and then it just happens. And he goes, dude, your body is like for 17 weeks. It's just nuts. But, and I agree with everything you just said about the running back, except one thing. I do think that there are certain exceptions and the exceptions are the guys that do catch the ball in the backfield, but that's something Barkley does. And Barkley is so fucking dangerous that he's a decoy and he is a receiver too. So it just sucks that they were 2 million off. I agree with you.

The Giants should have budged a million. The Giants should have budged a million. He should have budged a million. They should have been able to come to a thing and make them happy. I think what ultimately will happen is he'll get 11 million this year, around 11 million, a little less. And then I think the Giants are going to give him a two, three-year deal next year if he doesn't get hurt this year but um i feel like he has a monster year

yeah and he goes someplace else because someplace else is gonna need him oh paul you didn't like that no it made me sick listen there's no way he didn't take this personally i know he's just a penn state kid fucking good guy so he's smart enough to not fucking say what the fuck he's feeling but it's just like all right franchise tag me you watch what the fuck i do this year and i'm gonna watch you crying when i take fucking uh when i take a 15 million dollar year from the New England Patriots, you heard it here first. Dude, I just want him to stay on the East Coast because I love him. Like, if he goes to the – if he did leave, I knew he grew up liking the Jets because he's from the Bronx.

If he goes to the Jets, I'll be happy. If he goes to New England, I'll be happy. If he goes to even the Ravens, I'll be happy. I just want to be able to see that kid because I think he's one of the most special. He's a fucking unbelievable talent, man. How about the first Monday night football game of the year? Jets versus the Bills. Andrew, can you look that up?

Somebody just told me that. Dude, does anybody make a better schedule than the fucking NFL? They just get it. It might even be the kickoff. No, the kickoff game is always the defending Super Bowl champion. Yeah, the kickoff game is going to be the Chiefs. I think it's going to be the Chiefs and some other AFC rival on the Thursday

night. It's going to be the first Thursday night, which is great. Back in the day, we used to get that game. Yeah, you did. Yeah, not anymore, Paul. I'm actually interested to see what mac jones does for you guys dude because that guy got a little disrespected he and and he's he's we didn't have an offensive coordinator last year paul i like that kid that kid talks a little shit dude i like you oh you know that bill he i like that kid mac jones when he was when he was when he

was yelling at the bench and he's going what the fuck dude i was like all right good i liked him you know we'll see we'll see what i i don't feel that he's gotten a good enough shot i mean last year the guy literally had no offensive coordinator and you guys still came close what were you guys a game off the playoffs? Didn't feel that way. So the first game for week one is Thursday the 7th. What's the Monday night game? The first Monday night game is Bill's Jets, and that's 9-11. Dude, I'm going to tell you this right now.

That's 9-11? Bill, you'll be on stage in Greece. Well, there's a time today. It'll be before. So will you, Paul! Yeah, no, I'm going to be there too, but it's going to be before. It'll be We got to have TVs on our phones, dude. We got to figure this out.

It's better than watching the first Monday Night Game of the year in Greece, Paul, after playing the fucking Acropolis Theater? Oh, dude, I'll be sitting on those fucking stones in Athens watching a game. Fuck yeah, you will. Dressed in a fucking loincloth or whatever they wear, toga. So here's the thing. For the last few years, the Bills winning the AFC East was just this foregone conclusion. It wasn't,

are they going to win the AFC East? It's like, are they going to get over the hump to win the Super Bowl? And now all of a sudden, Aaron Rodgers, who easily has three good years left in him. This is not Brett Favre. Brett Favre was at the end of his career when he went to the Jets. All right. Aaron Rodgers, I think I'm calling this right now, Paul. I think he beats him. Is it in their building? Where is it? It's in New York. Oh! He comes out like the savior. He comes in, classic Aaron Rodgers, fourth quarter. He's excited to play again. He's out of Green Bay.

You know, he's banged a couple of chicks in Manhattan. He's fucking loving the pizza, Paul. He comes out there loose, fucking throws a touchdown to beat the Bills. Josh Allen nodding like, all right, we'll see you again later on this year. I'm not saying the Jets are going to win the AFC East, but I just think, dude, I mean, as excited as I am for the fucking game. Can you imagine how excited Aaron Rodgers is? And there's no fucking pressure. The pressure's on the Bills.

Like, oh, fuck, the Jets just got really good. Yes. I think I'm so excited for this year. I'm so excited for this year, man. This is going to be, dude, Aaron Rodgers to the Jets. The Giants finally giving Daniel

Jones a bunch of weapons they're saying nobody could cover darren waller in camp i can't wait dude it's gonna be great saquon has something to prove he's a little pissed you know um i think it's gonna be a great year and i'll tell you the team that i think is gonna really really be something you heard it here first on that anything better i think we heard it last year if i'm i'm thinking who the fuck you're picking no no no uh i i think the jaguars are going to be really really good man oh i thought you were going to go with your san diego superchargers that that or i mean you might be right about that organization because justin herbert is as good as any quarterback in the league and they just i mean they just they just can't, they had everything. They had the running back, the wide receiver. They had a good defense. They had the

quarterback and they just didn't do it, dude. I mean, but I think what's his name? Trevor Lawrence, Goldilocks over there down in Jacksonville. He, they started to turn a corner at the end of the year. They, you know, they, they want to play off game. I think that they're going to be pretty good. So I do. The AFC is wide open. I think, I think the AFC has got a lot of good teams. Yeah.

I feel like we're going to have another like nine and eight year. I don't, I didn't, I mean, what the fuck do I know? But like the Patriots have never been like, let's sign a big free agent. We've done it once in like 20 years with Randy Moss.

When's the last time the Patriots were under 500? You could say when we signed Cam Newton. He still had some, that was still a big name. It was a big name, but it wasn't a big deal. Like Randy was the big deal. It was a big deal to me. When's the last time the Patriots were under 500 for a season?

What were we last year? We were right there. Andrew, what were the Patriots last year? Probably, if it was, it was a game. Because you guys were like right there ready to go.

Like if you guys had to win. 8-9-0. 8-9. 8-9-0. 8-9. 8-9. Okay. Last year. Last year. Okay.

Mack Jones hurt, though. You guys had to. Who was the quarterback you guys played last year at the end of the year? Is that a kid's name? Something. Something. Being with an H. Yeah. All right. Well, well you know that's the game that's why it was one game under you know mac jones was hurt uh and you guys still fucking

dude that's you guys still fucking managed to be within the window of possibility always always yeah you know paul listen this is how i viewed boston sports too we had a great run it was a zappy kid brian zappy i knew i thought it was something like airy or something like that zappy or hilly um yeah fucking uh patrice bergeron just retired for the Boston Bruins, played all 18 seasons with the Boston Bruins, won a Stanley Cup, went to the finals three times, was as great on the ice as he was off the ice. Major, I mean, I put as far as like the greatest Bruins of all time is like Bobby Orr. I mean, I put as far as like the greatest Bruins of all time is like Bobby Orr.

And then as far as what I watched was Raymond Bork. And for me, Patrice Bergeron is right there with them. Like they're both right under Bobby Orr. So him. Yeah, him retiring like and then, you know, something I really feel like I put Cam Neely between Ray Bork and Bobby Orr as far as like, you know, just what that guy did when he was healthy. Yeah. Was wasn't the only guy that I ever saw own Patrick Waugh fucking on and we can never the Canadians. And he would come in and have a fucking hat trick. Just undress the guy. And he could beat the fuck out of anybody.

And he was one of the best guys in the league. And then, you know, this other fucking asshole who stunk just went in and just blew his knee out. Came in low, right for his fucking knee. And he just was like, never. It's one of the. It's such a. Like, that's why, like, guys like that, I just never understand. Why is he still allowed to be in the league?

Where you just robbed all of hockey fans of one of the greatest players of all time. Because you suck. You know what I mean? Yeah. I'm not. I'll be honest with you. You it's when you talk about like mac jones he's done a couple of dirty things dude i'm just kind of like i don't know dude he did a quarterback slide and this guy is like being a gentleman on defense he sort of jumped over him

and had his legs spread the dude brought his cleat up right and hit him right in the fucking junk oh he had another one he fumbled the ball and he just grabbed this guy's leg and he turned his fucking ankles it's like this guy's kind of uh kind of win at all costs here what are we doing uh what do you think the greatest i was thinking about this the greatest retirements of sports that I've seen in my lifetime. I got to tell you, dude, Jeter had a good one, man. Jeter left intact as soon as there was like a glimpse of losing a step, like barely one step. He was like, nah, I'm not going to be that guy, dude.

You know, I didn't like about his retirement was he wanted to retire in Yankee stadium and they talked him into playing that red Sox game. And he could just see, he didn't want to be out there. So he went out there and he got one more hit against us. And then he goes, all right,

that's it. Like there, I just felt like they sort of robbed him of his retirement a little bit. It's like at this point, I don't, you think this guy earned the right to retire where he wanted to retire? Like, it should have been

in Yankee Stadium. As a Red Sox fan, it was kind of an honor to watch him get another hit off of us. No, no, but I'm talking more in the terms of, like, when they left the game, like, retirement.

Oh, yeah, no. You knew Derek cheated. There was no fucking way. Yeah. He wasn't going to go sign with the mariners or fucking the padres to just eke out another year no way and dude as time goes on the more i think about it barry sanders is a great one it was premature but it was great dude he was like i'm not gonna win and i'm gonna get hurt fuck it let me go be a dad to my son like that was a great one dude you know there were some ugly ones man you know who was the madonna of retirements

just hanging on oh god is that a reference now no i just came up with it but i don't know uh dude fucking madonna dude brett farve was a little, yeah, Brett Favre had that, dude. Brett Favre looked pathetic. Sorry. Dude, Madonna looks like some 10th graders that I went to high school with when they were trying to get dressed up and look hip. She looks like that at like almost 70. It's sad, dude.

Hey, hey, hey, she's only 65. No, she's older than that, I think. No, she is. She's born, hey. She's only 65. No, she's older than that. No, she is. She's born in 58. I know about her. I grew up fucking watching her. Borderline. Feel like I'm going to lose my mind. Well, you did, Madonna.

You did lose your fucking mind. I love over the borderline. Dude, fuck that, man. She had fucking hits for like four decades I know she's going too far with the work she just pushed through whatever the fuck she was going through cause she was sick she had to

rework her fucking tour I'm rooting for her Paul at some point we're all gonna be 65 in this business I wanna see her have a nice fucking ending here dude if you ever see me with duck lips and fucking bumps on my cheeks and shit just you better as a friend fucking pull me aside and say paul so well i will tell you that paul you're greek you're gonna be

fine i will tell you this speaking of greeks i've been watching old kojaks with telly savalas paul and i'm telling you paul if you ever shaved your beard and put on a fedora, they could reboot and you could be a fucking... An upgraded... You drive a Lexus instead of a Buick Century. You know? Dude, that's a good idea. It's a fucking great idea.

Dude, let's fucking get an all things comedy reboot going i'm down dude i'll lose the weight whatever you want dude i would shoot that in a second oh that was telling me sean penn's father directed all every episode of that i just watched a great episode where there was a guy a patient killing people in the hospital and they were trying to like hide his identity. So they were, they were doing the camera movement. His POV for a lot of the episode is really shot. Great. How many seasons was Kojak? How many seasons was it? Seven or eight.

Okay. Five. Oh, it's only five. Yeah, it was five. And, uh, and then they, time moves slow when you're young. They rebooted it, uh, doesn't slow when you're young. They rebooted it in 2000-something with Ving Rhames. Dude, if I got the new Kojak, I would be fucking in the gym every day. I'd be fucking, oh, dude, I'll Kojak it up. That'd be sick.

Ving Rhames played Kojak. That was not promoted well because I would have watched that. Yeah. By the way, Paul, you don't need to be Jack to be Kojak. You're like, I'm going to go to the gym. Paul, you want to be natural. Telly, the man ain't healthy. Wait, do we have... Wait a second.

Wait a second. Do we have a picture of Paul Verzi at the Kentucky Derby? Can you pull that, the game set match one? Paul, I mean, that was the Kojak outfit right there. You had the fucking hat. You had the suit on. All you were missing was the fucking lollipop.

Oh, we gotta get... We gotta get that. If you can't get that, we could... Hold on. Let me see. I think I got it. You know what's great? I got Nia's into Kojak. we fall asleep watching it every night now that's awesome she literally goes like where the fuck do you find these networks heroes and icons me i'm like you got it andrew yeah hang on now if you guys tell me that this isn't like, no disrespect

to Bing Raines here, but we got a fucking, we got a Greek here coming in. I'm going to hold it up and show you guys, but I'll drop it on the screen for the viewers. Dude, that was a great day, dude. I mean there that's great come on i'll play your sidekick dude that's great dude we should do a little mini series for that like a web series a kojak web

series or something uh kelly savalis what a great name too oh my god what i was trying to think the other night what is telly short for yeah greeks have all kinds of like my grandfather everybody called him gus but his name was constantine my greek grandfather rest his soul my babuli that's what it is in greek you call me a babuli but his name was everyone called him gus and i go what was what was uh but boy's name my mom goes oh constantine i go how do you get gus but i don't know uh dude that's one of those names that the chicks love you know and all you all your boys are calling you gus and all the hot chicks are like constantine yeah yeah yeah hey don't call me that i'm from gus all right Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hey, don't call me that. I'm Gus, all right? Why? It's such a beautiful name. That's exactly right. Telly's full name was Aristotelus. What is it? What was it?

I'll say it without any Greek. It's Aristotelus. Aristotelus. Aristotelus. Telly Savalas, yeah. That's great. Oh, that's great oh that's great uh dude how how psyched was his dad called telly oh my god that's great dude that is fucking great how old was he when he passed rest his soul uh he was born in 22, died in 94, 72?

Born in 28. That was like how, yeah, that's, man, they look old. That's not a long run for a Greek guy. That's young. Was that the only thing he did? Was that the only thing he did, Kojak? Like, was that the only big thing? No, no, no.

the only thing he did kojak like was that the only big thing in the movies no no no he would he i think he did uh he did an untouchables when he was like breaking in and stuff like that uh the one that i really remember him in the highlight role for him was in kelly's heroes when he was he was dirty dozen dirty dozen he was oh my god that's. He played the psycho. But in Kelly's Heroes, all he does is break Don Rickles' balls the whole fucking time. Because Don Rickles has got to carry the M60, and he's bitching. And it's great, because there's room for both of them. Like when they're improv-ing and all of that type of stuff. I felt like they did a lot of improv on that movie. But, oh, dude, when he played the crazy

guy in Dirty Dozen, spreckin'. Before he stabs that chick, fucking lunatic. Jeez, I gotta see that. That sounds awesome. Yeah, he played Blofeld in one of the Bonds. Dude, he fucking gets the shit beat out of him by

Jim Brown. Basically, that movie is a bunch of guys all on death row but doing fucked up shit in the military all right and then lee marvin and charles bronson no charles bronson is also a prisoner lee marvin comes in and it's a suicide mission to go into this french villa and kill as many German officers as they possibly can. And if you survive, it's a suicide mission. If you survive it, they commune your sentence, if I'm using the right term. Like, you know, they're going to let you go.

So Telly Savalas is like this crazy fucking rapist lunatic, psycho, like hears voices. He has this great crazy laugh. So they're all sitting there and they're eating or whatever and oh my god i gotta watch this dude yeah and what's his face lee marvin breaks down what they're gonna do and he goes any questions and telly's well as goose yeah do we have to eat with

n words but he says the word and jim brown gets up and starts beating the shit out of him they're looking at lee marvin to break him up and he's just like no no let him go let him go wow that's jim brown beats the fuck out of him it's fantastic that movie uh the john cassavetes role uh so he was franko franco yeah he was supposed to play disturbed like Franco. He was supposed to play disturbed. He was supposed to be this disturbed guy and he really did actual real life disturbed menacing looking guy

as opposed to Hollywood and the directors had to be like, hey man, that's a little too... You look like a man who's really got an issue. He was my favorite in there you know what's great in the beginning they go all right everybody count off and they're going one two three four five six and it comes to him and he goes oh that's awesome i love that he did that because that was him that was his rebellion against authority.

Like you could see like this guy is like he's like a cat on a leash. Like, why the fuck did you put this guy in the military? He doesn't want to listen to anybody, but he's going out there. And the whole fucking time is like, I have to count off of these fucking jerk off someone death row. What am I doing? So but he had to do it. So he just screamed 11. Oh, my God. death row what am i doing so but he had to do it so he just screamed 11 oh my god and also i gotta say such a ballsy choice because if you take it out of the character and on that movie set you're there with lee marvin and fucking charles bronson you make

a choice that big you kind of taking the scene from everybody so it takes a lot of balls to like make that choice but it was it was a big choice but totally fit his character fuck i gotta watch that movie again dude you got me riveted i mean i'm i cannot wait to watch that movie and dude that's what's so fucking cool about acting is as much as it's like people like, you know, playing pretend and reading off the thing. They're like, you make decisions on the fly that change the fucking. It's amazing, man. No different than stand up comedy, Paul. There's the David tells the fucking acting and then the fucking barroom hacks.

Barroom hacks. Yeah. And like most jobs, races, gender, everything, you are defined by the worst. It's all Jerry Springer. It's like when people think of a stand-up comedian, they picture a guy on offstage with a lampshade on his fucking head. You know, just having been so needy, he's got to be like the fucking, you know, the center of attention the entire time, you know, or the sad clown. It's never just like, it's never a guy like you, Paul.

You know what I mean? Who knows what kind of Air Jordans he's going to wear, you know, at a strike or if he throws a perfect game for the Yankees. I'm still never going to get over that like the how quickly you knew and oh yeah and the fucking level of detail oh yeah oh that's always back here for anything like that anything with the the just the joy that a heightened joy and bliss you know I love that what dude I love bliss you know that feeling of love that. Dude, I love bliss. You know, that feeling of bliss, that fucking feeling of just unbelievable happiness. Oh, you're walking into this thing, Paul. Hey, Paul, ignorance is bliss.

Ignorance. No, no. Paul, here's the deal. I am willfully ignorant now. I go out of my way to be ignorant of what's going on right now because I can't handle fucking watching anymore. So I'm Billy Smalltown now. I go out of my way to be ignorant of what's going on right now because I can't handle fucking watching anymore. So I'm Billy Smalltown now. I finally figured out all these years how to live in L.A. It's like whatever neighborhood you live in, you don't leave it.

If you want Italian, pick a fucking Italian restaurant in your fucking neighborhood. If you want to get coffee, find the best coffee place. But like, I'm not fucking driving all over like a jerk off and i just keep going to the same places and now they're getting to know me like my coffee that's the best i go flat white they go you want a double espresso on the side it's like well i wasn't going to order but like you know that i go all right then i bet a buddy

of mine at the diner and the guy came in he goes eggs over easy cappuccino in a mug not a glass right i'm like yeah that's the bet dude every cafe i go to they go hey what's up paul a everywhere that's what it's got to be you go to the same places you treat everybody the same they know what you want everybody tipping tipping. Everybody, everybody gets taken care of. I was trying to think how you're going to say everybody gets taken care of. Just. Dude, that's your cojack.

Yeah. Rather than the lollipop. Your thing is every episode. We got to have you do this. Yeah. Yeah. Get out, get,

get statements for everybody. I didn't even need a statement from everybody here. We, you know, we were talking about this the other day where we're going like negative people and shitty people or people that just always do the, yeah, but then you got to worry about this. Or then the other shoe is going to drop. They look at people who are positive like,

yeah, oh, just fucking naive, Mr. Positive positive and it's like no no no don't do that to me i know the fucking horrors and how awful shit can be and i i had some things that happened in my life not so fucking great i choose to not be a negative fuck like you and when you like because those people try to do that like you ever notice people that are negative and when you call them out you should should go, Oh yeah. Well, everything's going to work. It was like, no, no, I didn't say everything's going to work out. I never said that.

You're just a negative, miserable fuck. And I'm a, and I choose to live different. That's I don't always have to try to turn around. No, no. I get what you're saying. I'm not always like, they know they're fucked up. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I, I, yeah. It's like, you know, you're fucked up, dude. Don't, don't do that to me. I'm very aware of what can happen. I just choose to fucking look at the trees and have a sandwich and you're an unsettled unsatisfied lunatic who doesn't know how to do that so don't bring that shit out on me you know what i mean um dude you're making me want to go get a coffee you're making me want to go get a coffee and a sandwich and go sit outside unfortunately i can't because it's 104 and humid here well i know and that's everybody

they talk about the state tax in fucking california you're paying for the lack of humidity that's what you're paying for you want to go to a state with no fucking state tax enjoy the humidity mysterious the size of my fucking head. Fuck all of that. Yeah. Yeah, man. Dude, we're going to go to the Super Bowl this year. Paul, this is how much I actually I've gotten to know this fucking guy down the street.

I met this old guy. I don't know. What do you call somebody? A Jewish guy that's like a priest? Rabbi. Yeah. Guy's fucking, guy's hilarious. Hilarious.

Completely different business. And I fucking see this guy. I've seen him twice. Wait, dude, hold on a second. Hold on a second. We can't blow over what just happened. You go like this. Yeah, I met this old guy down the street, but what do you call the old Jewish guy that's a priest? A rabbi. I just had to work it out. So wait, now you're friends with this rabbi? I love this guy. He literally goes to me, the first day I met him, he goes, I'm waiting for my 10th.

He goes, you know what that means? And I go, well, I know what a sixth man is in basketball. He goes, no, no, no. This is for whatever thing he was doing. He needed a 10th person so that he could start the service or something like that. So I said, I go, I got a beard. Can I sit in? And he goes, you need a little more than that.

That's great. Oh no, dude, this guy is, uh, he's fucking hilarious. So, um, it's just one of those, you know, one of those great chance meetings, like, what world am I hanging out with this guy? And all of a sudden we're just, it's funny. He's never having having coffee but he's always walking around he's like the guy that organizes shit so he's always outside his building synagogue that's great i'm learning stuff oh that's great dude i just see you and a rabbi sitting outside drinking a cappuccino it's amazing sounds like a street joke phil bernard rabbi sitting outside drinking a cappuccino. It's amazing.

Sounds like a street joke. Phil Burnham rabbi sitting there having a cappuccino. I love how you use a sports reference too. I know what his sixth man is. It's so great. Yeah, he was funny. He was going, he was like, so what do you do? What do you do?

I go, I'm a comedian. He goes, oh, you know, it's funny. You know, we're right here in Hollywood, but I don't, you know, I don't pay attention. You know, he goes, I had a purpose. You know, I didn't need to watch that. I had a purpose. I go, geez, you don't have to shit all over my industry. Right. So the next time I see him, he goes, you know. I thought I thought about what you said. I thought you were right. I shouldn't have said that. I shouldn't have said that.

It's like it's your what you do. You make people think. I'm like, I fucking love this guy. That's great. Oh, dude, that's great. Imagine you just stop doing this podcast and you win a rabbi did one together. That would definitely be interesting as far as uh you know where he is when i'm fucking watching you know movies and all that type of stuff and he isn't doing any of that he would definitely have a completely like different perspective or

something but um i don't know i have always gotten along with those Hasidic guys. I fucked those guys down at B&H. You ever go to B&H? It's the greatest run fucking store in Manhattan. There is no fucking way you can steal from those guys.

They let you look at the product. You never have it. And then when you decide that you want and they know everything about it. And then you want to know if they have these tracks above. And it comes out from the back. And they literally tell you it's the most efficiently. Like this should be a documentary. 30 minutes.

Doesn't have to be an hour and a half. 30 minutes on how these guys run this fucking store do one of the you know all the problems well i mean i guess now because of the internet in brick and mortar stores are going away but one of the number one problems they probably had was people stealing their product and these guys these guys had it solved back in the 90s when bobby kelly was the one he goes you got to go down there. He goes, this fucking place. You know, Bobby. Bobby loves electronics.

Nobody loves a new gadget like Bobby Kelly. Bobby, my fucking gadget game when I lived with him, I was always right behind the latest thing because he would buy it and then get sick of it, sell it to me, and then he'd fucking move on to the next thing. And it was for missus though yeah and he loves a new app anytime there's a new app he's got to utilize a new app the other day the other day he goes he goes dude i'm buying a kayak off a guy and i go what and he

goes i'm buying a kayak off a guy at the marketplace from facebook and i go dude how about you go to dicks and buy one and he just goes no dude you don't fucking do it and he just like showed up to a guy's house he said like 10 o'clock at night and and yeah i'm different like that dude how much weight has he has he lost that fucking guy's gonna get into a goddamn kayak dude he lost he lost like i think 120 pounds something like he lost a lot of weight man all right does he have upper body strength dude you fucking flip over in those things you got to do like the dude i got the app no i got an oxygen app dude no it's not the kayak you go underwater i can't breathe fucking flip and boom oxygen right in I bought a helmet, dude. Water can't penetrate.

No, he got... Dude, I kayak in a full scuba suit. I already have the regulator in my mouth. It flip over. No, it's funny. I waved it out. No, it's funny you said that. I go, Bobby, you go in.

I go, be careful on those things. I go, those tip over. And he goes, no, dude, that's old old kayaks you don't go in anything on these you sit on top of them so i don't know exactly what it's like a different thing oh okay yes that thing you're not in the thing you're on it so then you just flip over the idea of going in a kayak where your legs go all the way through is so petrifying to me. People have like flipped over, couldn't get out of it. Dude, fuck that, man. Dude, didn't the Obama's

chef, 45 years old, rest his soul, I think he, did he die on one of those? Yeah, Bill, he drowned. He drowned. No, I'm kidding. Oh, that'd be the funniest thing ever. Oh, the chef knew too much.

The chef was going to bring down America. Yeah. No, dude. Hey, Paul, let a retired Republican, let Donald Trump's chef die and let's fucking bring him to court. Yeah. Isn't that the dumbest thing you've ever seen liberals do?

Bringing Donald Trump to court is all it's going to do. They ever seen liberals do bringing donald trump to court is all it's gonna do they're gonna do that to biden they're gonna do it every fucking you think that the right is just gonna let you do that to them and they're not gonna do something back dude although they started the shit paul with the fucking blowjob thing with bill clinton those fucking cunts they started this tabloid shit and ever since then nobody can be president without the other side fucking trying to impeach him the whole time. Could you imagine if like John F. Kennedy was president today? Rest his soul with all the shit.

All that they would be. Dude, they would just be. It's all. Dude, who doesn't have dirt? I did not have sexual relations with that actress. That is not me fucking her in the pool. That is AI. Dude, here's why Kennedy's the best.

Kennedy's the best because he goes, dude, all I want from Castro is a thousand Cuban cigars. Dude, he made that deal. No, that's not what he did. He fucking knew the embargo was coming. So they fucking ordered them for themselves. thousand Cuban cigars. Dude, he made that deal. No, that's not what he did. He fucking knew the embargo was coming, so they fucking ordered them for themselves and then do what they always do. You know, tighten the fucking belts and ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba

and all of that shit. Dude, if you were the president, you wouldn't have gotten a little stash? No. Dude, there is no fuck that's like being the guy in the plane crash taking more than your rations and everybody's fucking starving

I would never do that I would never in a fucking million years would I do that no fucking way alright I believe you you can sit there in the white house you fucked over all cigar smokers and well you can sit there in the white house all these cigar you fucked over

all cigar smokers and you're gonna sit there and enjoy a goddamn cuban and then go on tv and be oh the other way oh you're right no no no i know what you're saying yeah yeah no i was i yes no i would not i wouldn't have other people not be able to smoke while i smoked a cuban no no i wouldn't do that i wouldn't do that i thought he was i thought he was just uh before he shut stuff down i thought you know him and his brother were just getting their own shit and but i didn't realize that the other people weren't were getting fucked hey paul you know the cuban missile crisis it didn't catch it yeah you had no no interest Well, when was that?

60 what? 62 Andrew Andrew Thimless Andrew Thimless with the fucking stats I'll tell y'all about the Bay of Pigs I could go on for four hours I'll tell y'all about the Bay of bay of pigs yeah see guys it's not just uh

and andrew has hair like a kennedy all the kennedys have great fucking hair it's unbelievable dude that was amazing to see him and his brother walking on the white house just as like mid 40s early 40s just hanging out there like chilling at the white house fucking like seeing normal aged people and then now for the last whatever two decades you just got these white hair fucking guys walking around like zombies it's fucking embarrassing man they need to cut that age bill clinton was pretty young he was like 43 44 was he yeah and he actually had brown hair when he came in and then like you know that job dude the job and all in that rotation of bitches he had coming in there paul just made his shit go

white wait slick willie slick willie was 44 46 46 uh and Obama was what Obama was young yeah when he came in I thought George W. Bush looked pretty good when he first came in they all looked good when they first came in Joe Biden looked like fucking shit the second he got in there

Donald Trump just looked like a jerk off the whole time these last two fucking guys it's just almost like a jerk off the whole time dude these last two fucking guys can we just like we just like it's just almost like the nhl where like the presidency has to go away for like a season and a half and we just sort of reboot get rid of the red line yeah i said and the blue line oh my god politics i uh i said the other day on stage i go can we one time get like a 36 year old james bond looking fucking dude in there i mean just one time in my life 36 not 40s mid 30s dude you can't because they

they won't trust him he's not dirty enough i know you gotta do the dirt for 20 years they gotta have so much shit on you and they have to know that you're a fucking warmonger. Yeah. No matter how blue your fucking tie is. Drives me up the fucking wall that idiots think that fucking Democrats are peaceful people. I would love this warmongering is the guys with the red tie. They're all working for the same guy. Get me going here.

Oh, Pauly, it's a beautiful day. It's beautiful to just walk around my neighborhood. Yeah, I went outside and I was like, dude, it's a beautiful day it's beautiful day to just walk around my neighborhood yeah dude i went outside and i was like dude it's like 104 here hot or whatever so i don't know what to do i want to play golf got my son into golf dude and he's he's good he's gonna be good he's gonna be good yeah he's he's just an athlete man he's just one of those kids he's an athlete and he's a good kid and uh you know gets it from me no i'm kidding uh no you're not no you're not uh stacy actually stacy played stacy was a monster softball player in school i gotta give it to her she's a monster softball but it was it was it was

female sports paul come on yeah i mean it's half speed. What are we doing? You know? Their titties slow them down, Paul. Oh, dude, I got to tell you something. I got to tell you something. This is great, and this is not to be disrespectful. I get the same driver, okay? This older, 70s, old-time, wise, this dude, Charlie. Charlie's this black dude in Arizona.

He picks you up, and he just talks. He played in Arizona. He played for Northern Arizona university. He played against monsters and he was about six, whatever. He talks about his grandkids. And when he has hands on the wheel, he talks very calmly. And when his hands are on the wheel, you could see how big his hands were. And he was like, Oh man, he was like, I was, you know, I was telling him about Lucas playing. He goes, tell he goes tell tell your son he goes tell your son to get a little of that that chris paul in him and i go what do you mean he goes well he goes instead of having him hit those threes when

somebody runs out to him on the wing have him dribble in a couple steps and put up a higher percentage shot because that you know that's what point guards and we're just talking we're having a great time he's telling me about how he played in this crazy division uh in the 70s and we're talking and he goes well now now you see what the thing is he was one of those dude he was great old timer and he goes you know now he goes sometimes he goes uh when these guys there's like a lot of hesitation you know and he goes that you know there used to be hesitation now they just go and then he goes now if you watch the WNBA and he didn't he didn't even mean to say it he just goes that's that's kind of what you're watching you know that they're hesitant they're not really good he basically in the nicest way somebody could say he goes yeah you know when

you're kind of watching it and it's not as fast and it's just a lot of hesitation indecision he goes that's kind of you know it's kind of behind like he basic in the night but dude he didn't even mean to he was talking about nba and my son and and then he just is like because the the the wmba is kind of behind he's basically saying it's like slow motion and hesitating and it was no but i'll tell you this though, dude, it's way better. Oh, it is. It is. And that's the thing I'm calling this right now.

It's going to get to a, it's going to get to, um, it's not going to be, you know, the guys are just bigger, faster, stronger.

They just are, but it's going to get to a level. Dude, at the end of the day, it's a ball. You have a brain, you have, and you have,

you've got your four limbs. I mean, there's no reason why their handles can't be as sick or sicker than a lot of the guys. And I think all this disrespect that they're getting, they have the athlete mind, dude, that's going to drive them to be better. So I actually, I'm rooting for the WNBA.

Believe me on that. I mean, a lot of people didn't get that from that bit that I did in my last special. It's just like this thing could be so much bigger if women would support it. The thing that fucking is going to bring them down, the hardest thing in the fucking world is to get women to support other women. I don't know why. They talk a great game, Paul, but when the fucking ball's thrown up in the air,

getting ready to start the game, where are they? Yeah, you know what I think will make the WNBA better? You got to lower the rim, dude. If you put a mall, if you put a fucking mall with a shoe store instead of a fucking selling hot dogs, if they started selling shoes at the fucking goddamn game, maybe then they would show up. Just make the hoop eight feet

so we could fucking watch these chicks dunk and do shit. Dude, that's a great idea. I would say nine. Then you have women dunking in a dunk contest instead of only two women that can do it. Dude, imagine watching some pony tail.

I would love to see a chick dunk. Look at me getting excited. I would love to see a chick dunk Fuck. Whoa, shit. Look at me getting excited. I would love to see a chick dunk on another chick. Dude, imagine some chick with a ponytail fucking through the legs fucking yoking it. That'd be fucking nuts, dude. Look how excited we are by that. Yes. Have you ever heard a woman talk this excitedly about the WNBA?

Dude, imagine that. Oh, shit. Jackie dunks it on Cindy.y that would be fucking nuts dude dude did you see that her fucking clam was right in your face total disrespect i said that in my special muff in the face fucking this shit right here you know they fucking dunk it they start doing this with their fucking tweaks. The other chick's nipples. You can't do that.

That's disrespectful. That's the cut. Now that's what we need to get out of the WNBA. I will tell you this right now. And I'm not even trying to joke. This is dead serious. If they lower the hoop to the point where 80, 70% of the women in the WNBA can dunk viewership of that fucking league will go

through the roof through what i say paul and then over the years you gradually raise it back up i mean that's how we learn to play hoop right everybody had the oe had the little kid fucking hoop dude it's like britney griner and two other fucking uh women could dunk and everybody else is putting up threes dude uh it's it's it's you know it's i don't know i i mean paul what are we doing yet what are we going to fix the country next hey you know what we We can start with the WNBA. I think that idea that you had is fucking brilliant. But the thing about it is they've all been practicing on a 10-foot hoop. It's going to throw their shot off, though. Why?

Yeah, but why this? Why are women's golf courses, why are they at the ladies' tees on the red? You want to know why? They're at the ladies' tees on the red because that's basically what they figured out there the distance of them swinging the club would be so why not make the nba thing a little lower because they just don't jump as high they're not as strong that's not that i'm telling you tennis is the best yes women's tennis is great women they play on the same court they're still smashing it i can't tell that it's a little bit. Doesn't look slower to me when I'm watching it. You know, you're better looking.

They're out there. They got the little skirts on. They got the nice thick thighs, you know. And listen. I'd rather watch that than fucking Djokovic. Women's UFC is as entertaining. You watch a women's UFC fight, it could be as much of a fucking great bloodbath as another

fight you watch women boxing that's I mean if well with the helmet shit I don't love when they got the big fucking you know one of the sickest knockouts I ever saw this this black chick knocked out this fucking tall white chick it was like she was trying to throw somebody out at home plate that's how much the overhand right was and just caught this chick. I thought she killed her. Oh my God. She probably shouldn't have pelvic pumped when she was standing over. I mean,

dude, this chick's eyes were like in the back of her head. I'm going to tell you right now, Paul, if she hit me with that fucking thing, I still wouldn't be able to do this podcast. I mean, it was a life. I mean, I hope that other woman recovered. Like she doesn't have the effects

of the level of concussed that she got on that. I love the women's gliders. That's why both my kids, I'm going to get them into like jujitsu and stuff like that in the next couple of years. Cause I, especially for like girls, I think,

I don't understand why I got a whole bit on that. Why? I don't understand why they don't fucking do it. So stupid. Yeah. So stupid with all the fucking creeps out there. All right, Paul,

I got to get going here, man. I got some shit to do. Yes. All right, guys, this is the show. I hope you guys enjoyed it.

Please get the anything better podcast where you get all your podcasts, iTunes, Spotify, rate and review the show. Go to paulverzi.com for my dates. Go to billburr.com for his dates. Andrew Themlis, thank you so much. We'll be back next week with another episode. Enjoy the week, everybody. Thank you.