Anything Better? - I Have The Money To Make You Disappear

Episode Date: December 4, 2021

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what's up everybody and welcome back to your favorite podcast on planet earth it's the anything better podcast guys with paul berzy bill burr our producer out there in beverly hills andrew the greek freak and you guys today are listening to episode 44, or as they say in Spanish, cuatro, cuatro. I don't know. I don't think that that's how they say it. Bill, what 44s do we have? En français. Greatest 44s of all time. You got to go hammering Hank Aaron. Huge. The greatest 44s of all time, you got to go Hammer and Hank Aaron.

Huge. You got to go Reggie Jackson, the straw that stirs the drink. John Riggins, my personal favorite, an old cowboy back in the day. Robert Newhouse, blocking for the great Tony Dorsett. It was 4-4, blocking for 3-3. Who else? Pistol Pete Maravich. That's a great one.

Slapping the ball all over the place with his floppy socks. And the logo. And the logo. No, no, he's not the logo, is he? No, no. No, Jerry West is the logo. Jerry West was 44? Is that right, Andrew?

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That was him dribbling up the court to lose to the Celtics yet again in the finals. A lot of people don't know that. And then who else? Danny Age, speaking of a Celtic. Solid player, a great GM.

And there you go. Those are the 44s in sport that we know. Episode 4. It's all going to end with Wayne Gretzky. You realize that? Then where do we go? Episode 100? You got to go

double zero. Robert Parrish. Jim Otto. Yeah, because we never started with zero. So the last one, you know who else I think was, uh, was it? Jason Williams is zero. Yeah. I think somebody did wear zero, zero, but somebody said to me, somebody goes, dude, what are you guys going to do after 99?

And I go, we'll just do like the hundredth thing that's happened. The greatest hundredth thing that's happened. That's what we do on the show. We adapt. We adapt to something else. Cool. Um, I got to tell you something. I was sitting in my house last night, jumping off my couch.

I'm going, oh, oh, my wife is shopping for Christmas online. I'm sitting on the couch. My dog is looking at me. My New York Knicks go into that rat house in Brooklyn, that fucking rat infested, that disgusting place. They all flipped. Yeah. They all flipped. All those are all Nick fans that flipped. I don't know.

Witness protection program inside that fucking arena. You may fold on the questioning. A bunch of Henry Hills sitting in the fucking crowd. It was literally one of the best basketball games I've ever seen. Reggie Miller's calling the game going. He literally took himself out of being a professional. He just goes, oh, my God, this is awesome. I missed this.

It was back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. Whoever had the ball last, the Knicks end up losing a heartbreaker. Bad foul call, 112 to 110. But I will tell you people this. I would rather take my young, scrappy, defensive playing New York Knicks team than that pile on bunch of baby fucking rats who have Hall of Famers who complain out there. God, I love the Knicks. God, I love the Knicks.

There you go. I can't argue with that. No. I'm trying to think of a world where another team comes into Boston and, you know, into Cambridge. You know, the Cambridge cocksuckers, right? And then everybody's going to fucking jump on them and not be Celtic fans anymore.

I don't know. I don't know, Paul. It's a weird one. That's a weird one to me. That's actually a great point you just made. What do you do if a new team comes into Massachusetts and one of your family members or close friends goes, dude, I'm just jumping ship.

We don't know what we're doing there. I love these new colors. It's like it's sickening. It's fucking sickening. Yeah, but you know what the advantage is? You get to see who people are. All these people that you thought were all right, you're like, oh. So that's all it took.

Now, in defense, if you're a really old Nets fan, I can go with that because they were originally the New York Nets. With Dr. J. Julius Irving. Yeah. When me and you saw that old man who walked up to the foul line and did this, remember? And then he would, he would go like this. It was him and his wife and they gave him a Jersey and he would go like this. And then when the guy would make it, he'd go. Yeah. One of the few things I enjoyed about being in that,

that stadium, Paul, I got to tell you something, Paul, I got to tell you this fucking right now my christmas shopping is done and all the gifts are wrapped what i already have a tree i bought a little spray bottle i spritzed it i got the water in i got the little thing in there to keep the thing alive i'm done dude i got some knickknacks here or there i got stocking stuffers left paul done dude i got some knickknacks here or there i got stocking stuffers left paul i'm dotting all the i's i'm crossing all the t's all billy's gonna have his freckled feet up drinking eggnog and smoking a stick as everybody else runs around oh my god i gotta do this oh my god i gotta do that well you should have planned earlier should have been like me paul this year i decided to be a role

model of the holidays i think you i think you got all your t's across your eyes you're seeing the nfl good december 1st there's no christmas shopping i'm sure the dishes are done i mean you're on your game the kid is on his game not only the dish is done paul i checked the butter thing to make sure if we don't have any butter, I take one out. So the next morning, if I make pancakes or I make some toast, that is spreadable butter. Nice. It's not a hard, yeah. Yep.

I went by the hardware store. I got a little countertop thing to wipe it off so it stays so fresh and so clean. Like Andre 3000 used to say, right? So fresh and so clean. Was that with them? Well, yeah. Well, my room is a mess. Okay.

My room is a mess. I have no shopping done yet. But guess what? Paulie's got his last show tomorrow night at a casino in Pennsylvania. And then the kids not work until January. That's where I blew it. That's the shit right there, buddy. I'm going to tell you, everybody listening,

if you really want to know how to live your life, Paul Verzi is the man to go to. Paul understands. Paul texted me, happy Thanksgiving on Wednesday night, and said, don't text me tomorrow because I'm going to have my phone off because I'm not a fucking animal. The man just understands. I sat there all day there.

Happy Thanksgiving to you too. Dad. What? Hang on. Happy Thanksgiving to you too. Yeah. Bless you and your family also. We have to get together. Paul said happy Thanksgiving to the people he needed to say happy Thanksgiving to and then shut his phone off. The way you just said, you see who people are when a new team comes and they jump ship it's the same thing during holidays and important times you want to see a fucking people that are like this when their kid is tugging on them saying like come play with me no can't do it can't do it we can't have it i get it you know what i don't like i don't like the fucking happy thanks Thanksgiving exclamation point.

It's like, do I really have to fucking respond to that? There's nothing personal in there. How do I know you just didn't send it to like send? Yeah. The fake excitement. Happy Thanksgiving. So you get credit because of the exclamation point. Thanksgiving. So you get credit because of the exclamation point. If that's a mass text,

you should not be able to use any other punctuation other than a period. Don't pretend like you're so excited for me and my fucking happy Thanksgiving when you're really, I'm in a way, you're getting me out of the way. Paul, next year, I'm doing what you're doing. I'm telling everybody, happy Thanksgiving. I'm shutting my phone off and I'm shutting the phone off. That's what I want to do. I didn't text anybody because after Paul sent us that, I was like, well, I'm not texting anybody tomorrow.

I didn't text you. I didn't text anybody. I was like, thanks, Paul. All I did sometimes is I had to check, you know, when I was sitting watching the Lions, I looked at the fantasy score, put it down. But I had I threw the football with my son. I'm not a fucking animal, not an animal, dude. Fuck that.

You know what? You know what? And top of all of that, you're reasonable. I mean, that's that we've known that. You are not impressed by any bridge unless it has an overhang to let you know. Yeah. I don't like those little ones. Paul, it's a suspension bridge.

Don't come at me with you just, you know, one side of the bank to the other. No. Yeah. What about a bridge, Paul, that is not a suspension bridge, but if you jumped off it, you could still die? It's like make an impression. If you're a bridger in tunnel, make an impression. That's all. I want to feel it. What do you what do you like? What do you look for in a tunnel? I'm fascinated. I'm fascinated by bridges and tunnels, but I'm not going to lie. When I'm halfway through a tunnel and gridlock, I start to panic.

I start to picture fucking water shooting through a tile and then everybody out of their cars running in a panic and getting trampled and drowning to death. I know that's weird. That's not what you do, though. What do you mean? You run towards the water and you do a big inhale and you get it over with quick. You run at that water like it's fourth and goal and you know you don't have an offensive line

and you just fucking end it. I thought you had something really to say like no you got to go towards i thought it was a strategy dude i guarantee you there's somebody who's so fucking claustrophobic and every day driving through the fucking uh the uh the lincoln tunnel what's to stop you from bringing a whole scuba suit just having it in your back with the tank the whole fucking thing can you imagine swimming out and all these bodies just oh my god i'm pushing them out of the way wow that's like doomsday prep or shit dude and then you guys then you have the rights to the

movie yeah oh my god dude and then they they fucking they they you know they they do the thing to your fingertips they find out you have explosive residue on you and then they they fucking they they you know they they do the thing to your fingertips they find out you have explosive residue on you and then they find out that you're the one that detonated the shit to make the because you had a hero fantasy dude paul we're writing for lifetime right now all we need to do is make a woman be the person that catches the guy doing it dude first of all going back to the other thing don't never i want to make this clear don't tell me don't ever ever wish me happy birthday by texting me hbd you might as well say i take that as you don't give i'd rather you not say it than just text me HP, HPD.

What is it? Driving and their kids and they're risking their kids lives. So that's all they can do before they rear end that semi. Then I need the followup text explaining that you need a video. I know. No, I need to follow up text going, Hey dude, the only reason why I did HP,

I was in it with the kids. I just didn't want you to think I forgot. That's a night. But the people that just do that, I don't want to hear from you. I don't want to fucking hear from you. It means, it means you don't care.

It's hitting off the ladies' teeth. You're getting credit for going the full distance and you know, it's bullshit. I got something for you too that's going to fucking blow your fucking minds, dude.

Okay? And I just, I just, I literally just thought of it now. I go out to dinner last night with my wife and two kids. Okay? And we're sitting down and Stacy starts telling a story. Now I wasn't being rude, but she was,

I was not, my kids were acting up. So as I'm trying to tell my kids to chill, dad, could I have your phone? She's trying to tell me the story. So then I wasn't paying attention fully. And I just go, wait, what, what happened? She goes, forget it, dude. You're not listening. And I go, no, no, I'm sorry. And in my mind, I'm like, this better be a good story. Okay. Because I'm just in a mood, right? She tells me that she went to school with somebody in elementary school that she recently

reconnected with. And the husband of this woman that she went to elementary school with was a guy who was a two-time felon. And there's a podcast out about it. And now they might make a movie. The reason I thought of this is because you said movie rights. So in the state of California, I believe, if you go three-time felony and it's something you go to jail, they fucking throw away. of jail, they fucking throw away. If it's, if depending on what it is, if it's armed robbery, or if it's a robbery felony in the state of California, if it's three times, you go away for a really, really fucking long time, like life. Him and a buddy decided to rob another house when

he had this shit on the line. This is fucking fascinating. And the guy who lives in the house leaves and they see through the crack of the door a safe. And the guy leaves and the fucking husband goes in and they steal the fucking safe. But they just take the whole safe and they get it out of the fucking house. Well, you have it bolted to the floor. You buy a safe big enough that you can't carry out. Go ahead. They open the fucking safe and in it they find diapers some that are wet some that are dry

they find lubricants they find a hard drive and it's tons and tons of disgusting child baby porn and the guy decides the guy who finds it decides I have to rat myself out to put this fucking monster away, even though it's my third fucking felony because I can't have this guy there. So he fucking sends it in and they fucking and they're trying to do a plea with him, but because it's a felony. But then there was another guy with him, dude. And I think the guy ended up doing like 14 years or something stacy said she's halfway through the podcast they're trying to get movie rights but this guy opened this safe and saw a fucking monster dude saw something that's out there in the world that just needs to be fucking stopped and did that and i was just like hey i knew i was fucked up but

this guy this guy's crossing lines like judge judge what are we doing here judge i mean what do we know but like that that is so so i guess the point is rape his daughter stacy's story his fat face i took money charlie fucking money that's good so stacy's story got good yeah that's a great story dude that's like that is movie shit like if you saw that in a movie you'd go nah i would never like that's a that's crazy dude he couldn't have dropped it off anonymously that's what i was thinking but no but you need the evidence you got to be like listen i took this out of his place and this was oh wow I thought like can't you drop it off with a letter

but now you gotta you gotta be like look we ran into the fucking house and then they look you up and then you're fucked but good on that guy can you imagine that guy that fucking creep when he came home and his safe was gone oh boy no he called no he called

he actually Stacy said in the podcast he called up saying some things were taken of mine he he wasn't he was like so freaked out that he called to get because he figured he could just get his safe back so he called that like so he kind of took part in it too oh i would have been like that's not my shit i've never seen that before in my life excuse me i'm I'm going to go have sex with an adult. Yeah, and it's like how... Who holds that?

Wow. Yeah, dude. But that makes you think what else is out there, man? That makes you think what else is out there? The fucking evil that lurks. It actually made me feel better about anything bad in my family. Why can't evil hang out, Paul? What?

Why does evil have to lurk? Come on, if it's so bad, man, why don't you come out in the open, man? Stop lurking. Yeah, that was. Yeah, I mean, I don't know how to follow up. He caught a pedophile. I mean, you've taken this podcast in a direction, Paul. Now we're on our way.

Now we're talking evil. I got something for you. I was thinking this the other day, like, you know, this mixed martial arts stuff, Paul. Yeah. I mean, basically, if you walk in there and you have hands and feet and a head, they're going to teach you how to do it. Why don't they do any sort of background check? Like, this should be like a fucking thing. Like, you know, they got that app you can find your cell phone.

They should have like that for a sociopath or a fucking predator or a toxic person. Why would you teach them that shit? Because you know what I mean? Oh, I see what you're saying. I'm going to learn self-defense and all that fucking shit. Well, what's stopping the lunatic from learning it too? I mean, they'll teach it to anybody, those fucking whores down there at the dojos.

It's hard to find out a sociopath, though, because they're so good at manipulating. Yeah, for you or I. That's true. But experts? Come on. Paul, wait a minute. You're pretty good at reading people.

Yeah, I mean, a sociopath, but it's hard to, I know a couple of sociopaths that they kind of came under the radar. Okay. Now there's a couple of people that came under the radar because they were sociopaths or they were just like selfish people that put up a front. What's your definition. Let's do this. Andrew, you could get in on this too because i don't know the what the difference between somebody that is unbelievably narcissistic and self-involved versus a sociopath because i've tried to take a narcissistic person could actually like uh you know watch somebody yeah watch something terrible happening and have no feeling for it like um past a certain level like a narcissist they don't see ever that they're wrong or whatever and in there not seeing

it usually continue the pain with whoever they're with but i would think like a sociopath is like yeah who is that somebody the terrible one of these guys he used to do this fucking thing where they this horrible torture i haven't a terrible i think yeah so they they would have this this this thing they would have literally this thing that had like a point on it they fucking make you sit on it and eventually would just work its way right up through your body and it will come out you're just agonizing death that took forever he was known for doing it and he went to meet with this guy and they had a whole field of people sitting there in moaning and dying of in this thing and he just sat there eating fucking lunch with this guy

that's a fucking sociopath wow yeah i mean now a narcissist just wants to get credit like day that was my idea to put everybody everybody on those things and it's and i feel like that torture device should be named after me i don't know paul this this is this is beyond my pig all right well how about this we'll take this you're right you're right i mean that's you summed it up really well thank you dr them you, Dr. Themelis. Well, I read. I mean, I had to, you know. You concurred.

I got a computer over here. You are a sociopath. Oh, by the way, Dr. Phil. You need to stop torturing people by ripping up their rectums. Am I right? Am I right? Let me ask you this. Let me ask you this. If two tadpoles want to become frogs and there's only

one puddle sorry I don't know where to go with that uh everybody pointed out he did not get a divorce by the way that that wasn't true oh he didn't no I thought he's going through a divorce oh I thought I found no articles. Everything just said that he was married. It was just all about his old ex-ex-wife. Oh, good, good. So he kept his house. All right, Philly, good for you.

He probably paid her to stick around. You will ruin everything. Dude, I have the money to make you disappear you are fucking things up um our house is so big i could just say you're in another part dude dude kfc from kfc from kfc radio barststool had the funniest fucking rant. And I'm giving him all the credit. This is not something on anything better. But, dude, I just was.

And he goes, how in the United States are we not talking about the Joe Biden farting with the royal family? Dude, apparently Joe Biden went and met with Prince Charles and Camilla. And they were at the climate change summit. And he fucking ripped ass in front of Camilla And they were at the climate change summit And he fucking ripped ass In front of Camilla And they said she's not stopping talking about it Is it Camilla or Carmilla It's Camilla

Camilla I'm so out of the fucking loop All over the news in Britain Not only did she find it funny She's just like dude this guy fucking Shit himself In the US Dude I was did she find it funny she's just like dude this guy fucking pissed me shit himself in the u.s dude i was fucking crying because apparently he had that incident at the vatican with the pope

where did he go where he had to he like sharted like with the pope and he had to change his suit what yeah dude it's real shit like and like they saw that like oh my god joey b is having a joey b's having a rough go but the kids like fart and shit in his pants dude i was fucking crying dude if you're just walking around shitting yourself listen we really have a bad way that we treat old people in this country like they don't have any knowledge left. But if, you know, you're stammering through speeches and you're shitting yourself, I think it's time to give it over to Camilla. Well, in fairness, the shitting himself, the shitting themselves. It was Camilla, right?

No, Camilla Harris. Camilla is Prince Charles is the one that he will all right that's where i got confused i don't watch game of thrones i'm sorry i don't know what's going on they said that obviously they can't prove the sharding but they have good reason to believe that he had an incident at the vatican and had to change suits but the fart in the royal family apparently was heard. Dude, Joe Biden. He's losing control of his faculty. Faculties, is that what you say? Is it faculties?

My fellow Americans. It is time to tighten the belt. Dude, I said it on my special, in my new special. The way you have to be 35 to be president, you should not be president of the United States of America after 65. I don't care. That should just be that window, dude. You have that 30-year window, and if your second term happens to overlap and get you to 69 or 70, fine.

And if you shit yourself, I don't care what age you are. If you shit yourself after that term, it's over if it's your first. Dude, shitting yourself with the Pope? I mean, dude, it's like another thing. Well, dude, those guys are murderers over there. You know, I was saying this the other day. You know, remember when Shanae O'Connor got all in trouble for tearing up that fucking Pope picture?

Yeah. She turned out she was right. Yeah, what was it? I don't even know. know what was her reason i don't fucking know she's crazy you know as bald people we don't know what the fuck we're talking about we just start going up she was like fight the real enemy and everybody's just like hey that's the catholic church then you find out years later they were out there fucking raping kids. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, if you can come back around and Monica Lewinsky's a victim, I mean, what the fuck? We can't bring her back? Go write a book. That Chappelle thing. You're so powerful, somebody sucks your dick. You get to write a book. You write a book. That was that Chappelle thing. You're so powerful. Somebody sucks your dick. You get to write a book. You write a book about it.

Go be somebody. Oh, man. That's a good one. I didn't hear that one. The evil that lurks in the world is horrible. That's why I stay in the woods with my family. What do you think? Oh, Paul, you live up in jerk off country.

What do you mean? There's dads running through the woods in their underwear, jerking off to your curtains and all of that. Oh, yeah. Those suburban guys. No, but I'm not even in the suburbs. I'm in the country, man. That's what I mean. I was stopping.

You're not in the country. This is pretty far the suburbs. I'm in the country, man. That's what I mean. Oh, stop it. You're not in the country. This is pretty far, dude. I'm in the woods, man. Okay. You're not in the country. Like, I'm going to go downtown, get some provisions. Oh, you mean like- Quakers driving down the street in their little fucking horse and buggies?

No, no, no. Lancaster, PA. Yeah, you're always up there going dude i got acres i get acres up here you you live on like an an acre i think a little more amazing i have a little more than any i have like an acre and a quarter or whatever yeah some people up here have like fucking 80 acres but um yeah no i'm not in the backwoods retired gangsters yeah there's a lot of shit that goes on up there paul i'm sure there's a. Yeah. There's a lot of shit that goes on up there, Paul. I'm sure.

I bet there's a lot of stories behind some of those homes up there. I'm sure. There are a lot of buildings. There are out here. Yeah. Dude, the whole Hollywood Hills is full of people that stole credit. Not all of them, but there's a lot. There's a lot of people.

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guaranteed, guys. See, there you go. No risk. And right now, for a limited time offer, guys. See, there you go. No risk. And right now for a limited time offer, get 20% off your painting. That's right. 20% off and free shipping. Get this offer text word better to 64000. That's 64,000. That's better to 64,000. Paint your life. Celebr celebrate the moments that matter most bill if you were a singer what would you what would you be your genre i couldn't see you going hip-hop what would your genre be would you go wrong what rappers don't sing or if you were a musician i should say then i'll rephrase that auto tuneappers use that auto-tune. I think, unfortunately, so do singers right now,

which is fucking brutal. I think a lot of people do, but I'm just saying. But singers are still singers. Singers can't rap either. They try to. And rappers try to sing. They both try to.

They just won't stay in their own fucking lane. It's like, listen, I sing, I sing, and then you come in and do the guestie fucking rap thing, right? Or you rap, and then I come in and do the guestie fucking rap thing, right? Or you rap and then I come in and do the guestie and I fucking sing the hook. When we, well, I'm a little younger than you,

but when I was coming up listening to rap, it was the rapper, the true rapper. Like it would be like Method Man. And then Method Man would have a singer do his hook. And it would be that. Now they do try to collaborate it with- Ghetto superstar, that is what you want. And then they go back into the rapping. Yeah, exactly.

That was Maya. And that was Maya. And was it Old Dirty Bastard? No. No, that was Mariah Carey. Mariah, go back, make back that's right pacifiers yeah yeah dude his son looks rest his soul his son is is touring with wu-tang and it's him it's a young old dirty it's him same hair looks like him comes out crazy it's it's bizarre dude it is him we saw them do um me and sal went

to see them do the 36 chambers reunion the first album reunion oh wow that must have been great dude it was nuts but it was funny like a couple of them were like heavy sitting down it was hilarious like one hot two hot three hot Bastard, live and uncut. Did they start, did they croon it at this point? One of them, one of them, there's like 12 of them. One of them was like really big. Jacques Cousteau could never get this low. I love that album. No, dude, he just sat on a speaker rapping,

and everybody knew he was just too big and tired nobody cared but it was the first time i saw a guy just resting while in a concert in a i never understood how wu-tang ever made any money you'd see him live and there was like 90 of them with those extra large t-shirts with the towel and it was just like all right so you're playing outside all right you're probably walking with 30 grand there's 90 of you had to pay for the fucking i think there's 12 of them andrew can you look that up i'm gonna i'm gonna i'm gonna list as many as i know ready so there's the rizza the jizzaZA, Old Dirty Bastard, Method Man, Capadonna was one of them, Raekwon the Chef, Ghostface Killer.

Now I'm done. I don't know anybody else after that. All right, so that's eight. Inspector Deck. Yes, Inspector Deck. Nice. Look at me. You thought I was really white. I'm only kind of white. Inspector Deck is kind of a dope name. That's eight. Inspector Deck. Yes, Inspector Deck. Nice. Look at me. You thought I was really white.

I'm only kind of white. Inspector Deck is kind of a dope name. That's nine. Who else are we missing? You forgot Master Killer. See, Master Killer, I feel like, wasn't always. And you got. And you got.

Okay, you got. And Capadonna didn't become an official member until later on. Okay. Yeah, I thought, for some reason, I become an official member until later on. Okay. Yeah, for some reason I thought he was like a solo guy. And that was ODB that was with Maya. That was Maya. Oh, so, dude, the JZA, Liquid Swords. When they all went separate and Method Man did his and Raekwon and Ghostface,

the JZA, Liquid Swords swords was fucking nuts maybe my favorite one and then when we were in high school the big argument was wu-tang or tribe and we would be at parties at keg parties and it would just be guys screaming at each other oh fuck you and it was like tribe call quest or wu-tang clan because that was right in you know 90 96 97 and that was like they were both like here you know because that was like dude it's crazy i didn't even realize uh when when kiss all did their solo albums which one did you like best paul uh kiss i like the paul stanley's best you just pulled that out of your ass yeah i did but i had you for a second

no i never i wasn't i never wrote this to that band either. No. I thought they did the song Beth, but I think that was, or is that, was that song Alice Cooper? Beth, what can I do? It's this really sad fucking ballad. Yeah. That's Kiss.

That is Kiss. Yeah. Bill, did you like that? Did you, was your generation into that seattle shit like pearl jam and nirvana and that or no um not my friends no like we came up there's two sides of gen x there's the metal side and then there's um um the post nirvana nirvana and on i mean i love jane's addiction i love that like dude i just listened to that went on a hike i listened to that ritual album front to back i mean that album is a fucking masterpiece um but like you know i came out of the 80s the 80s nothing but a good time that means all just fucking yeah just having a fucking good time.

And then all the Seattle guys came in like, I don't feel so good. I don't like being a rock star. And it was just like, Jesus Christ. I mean, we all have problems, too. I wouldn't dump my fucking day on you. But I understand you had to kind of like push back. I wish I was like you. older i get easily amused that was one of the most condescending fucking lines ever mike am i am i nuts there's this guy calling

me a fucking moron oh wow look at that shiny thing kurt oh i wish i was like you all right you know i like going to the malls. I like tap on solos. I'm sorry. I guess I am easily amused. Yeah. I think the older I get, I actually see what people like the Nirvana more. I didn't like it before, but I thought I loved Nirvana.

Nirvana was pretty fucking good, man. No, I do. But I can deal without without all the fucking whining. You know what I mean? Yeah. I'll tell you, Bandit's underrated. Not talked about enough. Def Leppard.

Not talked about enough. I got to tell you, the high and dry and Photograph. Dude, Photograph and that dude, those guys were the shit, man. That drummer with one arm. That drummer. He didn't have one arm on, though. photograph but dude photograph and that dude they were those guys were the shit man that drummer with one arm that drummer didn't have one arm on though he he got a uh he between that tour and the hysteria one um but i mean to keep going to keep going one fucking arm as a drummer and his band to keep him on was fucking amazing. Yeah. Dude, that's. And they still wrote happy songs.

And then these fucking grunge guys come in with all their limbs and they were just fucking just gloom and doom. They just brought Seattle weather to everybody. See, the metal bands were down in the L.A. Sunshine, peroxide. I'm downloading. I'm downloading Def Leppard shit today. Think I give a fuck? I'll put that right on the top of my list i'll rock that in my car right now my lexus is gonna be pumping leopard the next two days in my neighborhood how you like that rick allen is drumming on on high and dry and

on photograph i mean he just was like he had his own fucking thing going on and he was playing traditional grip um i get hysterical nah that's hysteria fuck that was for the chicks pour some sugar oh man that's where they lost me when they did pour some sugar their hair got a little more poofy like they got a little more like no they only i thought joe joe elliott was joe elliott's a fucking man that guy was like drinking like bon scott level you know what this guy's boozed dude that guy you know what he said he's doing the commercials for virgin australia first class and he's like oh you get a he was just talking he goes you get a full room with massage you're drinking the guy just sold me i was like this guy knows how to live oh joe elliott yeah he's talking about

that guy those guys are all i i loved all of those guys i listen i'm like a lot of you sound garden i mean for me that's jane's addiction and sound garden i love them alice in chains i loved um and then i just feel like it then it just became but rap went mainstream that was listening to wu-tang did you listen to biggie did you listen to biggie and oh yeah patrice was patrice was i remember being a tower record in uh newberry street and he goes you got the shit yet i'll go yeah it's like uh no no i have not gotten that shit yet because you should get that so i i had that on cassette tape uh the original one i don't know where the hell it was but it is now but then they ended up uh taking it back because uh puffy didn't

get the rights to a lot of those samples or the laws changed i don't know what happened so then the album went away for a minute now it's back i think they just paid everybody but yeah i i was a 100 biggie guy dude new york but you know who else do queens new york queens new york getting tribe call quest run dmc hollis queens 50 cent cool jay was from there i think yeah if you look at the guys you're out of my element here no i'm just saying if you look at the guys the hip-hop guys from run dmc almost to like present day jamaica queens 50 cent a lot of guys came out of that borough who like really really i mean of course you got like staten island and brooklyn but dude queens has like real deep roots in um in hip-hop wait staten island has a lot of rappers The only guy I ever heard from there I thought was Method Man.

Welcome to Staten Island. All of the – I remember that shit. Why did Where You Live – I still to this day don't understand why Where You Live or Where You Were Born was like part of the fucking thing. You guys started that shit. I think New Yorkers started that shit. I heard guys from Oakland.

It was the battle between the boroughs, and then you guys just went out in the world and just acted like everybody should give a fuck about your city. We got to look into that. I don't know about that because I know like Oakland guys are like, yo, Oak Town. And there was a lot of that shit, dude. There was no Oak Town growing up.

Are you sure? Like, all right. I mean, I didn't know who started. Guys from Brooklyn. Anytime you meet a guy from Brooklyn, you're going to know he's from Brooklyn. And he's going to tell it to you within the first 30 seconds. What time is it? Well, you know what I'm saying?

Because I'm from Brooklyn. It's 930. It's like I didn't need to know that you're from Brooklyn. I get it. This one comedian goes, you could be anywhere in the world and be like, yo, where's Brooklyn? Because you could be on the moon. And one guy would go.

That's going to go away, though. That's going to go away, dude, because I know some of the fucking whitest dudes ever. And they are fucking, where do you live? And that's why I hate the barclays center they're saying that they fucking live at these places that like i used to hear on people using references on like eddie murphy eddie murphy on uh uh comedian or or some of the rap um or some of the tyson story brownsville and shit like this that like i don't even know where those are and i

just remember going like man if i went there i would get the fucking shit kicked out of me that's all you heard i remember eddie murphy's album i was on bushwick and something or else and the whole crowd in the early 80s in new york went oh jesus yeah now i knew that one of the whitest dudes ever what do you look i live off of bushwick yeah yeah now you go to the fucking Barclays Center, and they're going Brooklyn. It's a kid in a fucking yarmulke. Get the fuck out of here, dude. No, dude. Yeah, the Knicks fan.

It's coming back to that. It's coming back to shitting on the Nets. No, I'm just saying, fuck these Williamsburg people wearing Biggie. Wearing Brooklyn. It's like Biggie was a Knicks fan. Biggie was a Knicks fan. Biggie, listen, Biggie would never turn that. I mean, I can't say definitively, but Biggie was a Knicks fan. I would like to think he wouldn't.

Dude, I'll tell you a diehard Knicks fan who's unforgiving. Dude, Tracy Morgan is courtside at the Knicks. He wore a chain that I have to say was one of the most ridiculous things in a bad way as far as Gaudi. He wore a chain, Bill. Picture a cucumber around the neck. Mr. T never wore shit like this. It was literally, it looked like a cucumber thing. He pulls it off, though.

Like, for me, it's too much in Gaudi. Tracy pulled it off. But he goes nuts. He starts talking to players. Like, for me, it's too much and gaudy. Tracy pulled it off. But he goes nuts. He starts talking to players. He goes nuts, dude. I love it. He sits near Spike. He goes fucking nuts.

Oh, God. I mean, Spike goes crazy. Spike goes in. It looks like he buys up the whole gift shop before the game. Spike, I think, almost got kicked out. Spike runs up to the – he knows all the officials. He'll literally start arguing like a coach he'll start stomping his feet he's like next to the coach too it looks like he's an assistant you should get him a little suit

a little suit and a clipboard honorary assistantary assistant coach. Dude, Tracy Morgan pulls off the biggest chain ever. I got to show you a picture. I can't go that gaudy, dude. I can't go much more than what I got. You know talent, right? Comedian talent? I love talent. So funny.

I sent him a text the other day. I said, what is Richard Nixon and the New York Knicks both have in common? They both resigned after 1973. What did he say? He laughed, said I was childish. Because what he does, he's a Knicks fan, that guy. But then he sort of watches the other shit. He goes, I'm a New York sports fan. He doesn't give a fuck if the Knicks, I mean, not the Knicks fan, that guy. But then he sort of watches the other shit. He goes, I'm a New York sports fan.

He doesn't give a fuck if the Yankees or the Mets, the Giants or the Jets. He goes, I'm a New York sports fan. So all he does is wait for a Boston team. You guys are like splitting aces. You're doubling down on every sport. So he just waits for somebody to fucking beat one of my teams, and then he gives me shit. So I go out of my way to trash the Knicks.

Death, taxes, and hopeful Knicks fans in November. Yeah. Well, look, we have to win to get that stink off of us. I'm not trying to bring you down. I like the Knicks. No, no, no. We have to win to get that stink off of us. It's just something that it's oh you're talking

to a celtics fan we know all about winning don't ever don't ever do that again what do you mean you what do you mean you guys know what it's like to not win for a long time no we don't what are you talking about the red sox didn't win for a long time i'm talking to the celtics oh yeah no celtics are don't you dare say that what are are you going to say next? That fucking MSG is a basketball mecca? People come from around the world to gather there to beat the Knicks ass. The world's most famous arena. Yeah. Dude, I can't even defend that.

I can't even defend that. It's like. It's not fun. it's not fun. It's the place where it's like I'm knocking ice cream out of your hand. No, it's the place where fucking Jordan came and Reggie came and LeBron came and Kobe came and everybody goes and gets their 50 point game at their garden against us. And I can't deny it. But Bill, I'm going to tell you this right now.

And for all you listeners, just know this the day that we win the day that we hoist that up. How old do you think you'll be? What's the over under Paul? I want action on this right now. I got a hundred bucks, Paul. And I will take the over. I think that the Knicks within eight years will be champs.

I got a hundred on it. I think within eight years, we'll be champs. You got a hundred. I got five the over. I think that the Knicks within eight years will be champs. I got 100 on it. I think within eight years we'll be champs. You got 100 on it? I got five on it. That was the one, right, from the early 90s? We got 100 bucks on that. We still have a $200 bet that you're going to do. Paul, I swear to God, if I have to fucking pay you that 100,

I'm going to make sure I buy a box of Kleenex to go with it because you're going to be sobbing. You're a man of your word. I can't believe they find it. You are going to fucking cry, Paul. Like Josh Adam Myers when the Capitals won the fucking Stanley Cup. Dude, me, me, Jerry Ferrara, and my son, and, you know, Petey, Pete Davidson, huge Knicks fan, a lot of my friends, Sam Morrell.

There's like five of us who truly give a fuck. I don't know. I'd have to see those last two. I'm not saying they're not, but I got to, Paul, you every October. Three, two, one. Hello. Dude, have you seen what the Knicks have been doing? Like, I have never seen somebody get so excited after three fucking games in my life.

It's actually painful to watch because I love you as a friend and to just watch you. I know. You got passed in the ball? I know. Who's that Asian kid, dude? You almost fainted. Oh, Jeremy Lin. Jeremy Lin.

When Jeremy Lin came around, oh, my God, dude. Like, you were on the phone every fucking night, and I was just sitting there going, like, please, God, just get him to the Eastern Conference finals, which I think they might have. I don't understand why that guy was so fucking amazing. Were they not using him the same way in Houston? Dude, it was really weird. He would drive to the hole and do a crazy move.

It would go in. He hit a fucking game winner at the buzzer, like on his 12th game of being on this run and the coach just goes by his coach like nobody and then yeah then once he got traded he kind of turned into just like this media he just went on this magical thing dude i don't know god bless him for it but you know i'm putting that on to lucas Unfortunately, not, not unfortunately. I'm my son likes the Knicks maybe more than me, which is because of me. But I said to Lucas, I go, Lucas, what are you going to do if they win? And my son just goes, Oh dad, like you don't understand the elation.

Like Stacy doesn't talk to me. I put my hood on last night. You want to laugh? We're down one 10, one Oh seven. There's 13 seconds left. 10 seconds left. We inbounded hit a three. I go, Oh, Oh. And Stacy just was shopping. And she looked, I got off the couch, put my hood on and stood like this in front of the TV. I mean, Bill, I want this. Like, you know know who's on is sort of passive like don't fucking talk to me yeah yeah yeah she knows she knows when the knicks are on we have an unwritten marriage rule in the marriage when the knicks are on there's no chores i'll do anything after i said i was like i gotta do the cat litter i'll do it half time you know but until then, no talking. There's just, you know, yeah. What,

what out of all your teams out of your red socks and your, your Patriots and your Celtics, which do you yell at the TV the most or pace around the most? Give a fuck the most truly in your heart. Oh, gun to your head. Like who's your baby, man. Who's your baby bill.

Cause there's definitely one. No, there isn't because of Paul, you do have to understand that. I don't think it's ever been acknowledged. You have to understand that the Bruins, their number one rivalry is the Montreal Canadiens. Okay? Who are the most successful franchise. No, I was at that game with you.

Yeah, we went to that game in Montreal. Right. who are the most successful franchise. I was at that game with you. Yeah, we went to that game in Montreal. Right, and then the Celtics were going up against the Lakers, the two fucking behemoths of the league. So those games are like Michigan, Ohio State in two different sports. And then we got the Yankees and the Red Sox. Yeah. So the Red Sox and the Bruins were the doormats to the Yankees in Montreal the whole time I was growing up.

The Celtics actually owned the Lakers until right in the 80s. The Lakers started coming back, and they won five, and we won three in the 80s, right? And then they fucking bought a bunch after that. That's, you know, whatever. Mobbed up refs, you know. And then, which isn't their fault fault but it is what it is um and then the patriots were like it's like we weren't even in the league like our fucking stadium was a joke like there was like high school teams in texas had a stadium like

like the schaefer stadium sullivan, Patriots Stadium, that fucking thing. And then, you know, the Sullivans. It's just one of those things like the Patriots. I never even – I remember one of the Patriots won their first Super Bowl. I was like, I would have thought the Red Sox would have won a World Series before that they would win it. I got to the point I didn't think the Bruins were ever going to win the Cup because when we finally got by the Canadians, we beat them. Those fucking Edmonton teams were just juggernauts.

Like, dude, I have to be honest with you. Like, I can barely watch the big dude, the Pats versus fucking Rex Ryan and the Jets. Like, I mean, when we lost that playoff game to them oh my god do you stay quiet fucking brutal do you stay quiet like it is true though when you love the big four and the big four meaning basketball baseball football and hockey one of your children is gonna be two or doctors you know like My Yankees were doctors. The Giants was a lawyer.

The Knicks are just still at home taking bong hits, getting yelled at by his parents, never getting the shit together. That was the Patriots for a while until you have this legendary, legendary run. That was everybody but the Celtics when I was growing up. Everybody was still living at home. And then the Celtics was like the fuckingeltics was like the fucking he was like the guy that just married some loser chick and had a couple of fucking kids and then he was just out there having to put the whole thing on his back that's what the celtics were but um

you know i was just reading about that trade the joe barry carroll trade we traded that pick to the golden state warriors we got robert parish and a pick that turned into Kevin McHale. And then everybody gave Joe Barry Carroll shit. His nickname became Joe Barely Cares. But you look at his stats. The guy was an all-star. You know, he didn't play that long. But I don't know.

He got a ton of shit. You know, it's just one of those things. He was one of those guys. He got a ton of shit. You know, it's just one of those things. He just got – he was one of those guys. He got way more shit than he should have. There was a guy, Charles White, that came out of the USC, had a drug habit, was able to get past it, had two all-pro seasons. Nobody ever talks about that. You know, rushed for the 1,000 yards, I think, one season.

What is – I got one for you. This is a great thing to talk about on this podcast. 44, by the way, guys, 44. Going into a little bit of overtime here. I want to thank all the listeners. Please, please continue to rate and review Spotify, iTunes, everywhere you get podcasts. We truly appreciate it. We have new merch coming out. You can be able to go to the merch store. You'll be able to get hoodies, t-shirts. The new incredible thank you guys for that i got one for you bill out of every moment that's given you joy in your sports world what's your favorite moment where you could have cried and joy is it is it i mean i guess the easy

guess would be is it when um you guys won the world series or do you have another moment oh yeah that was definitely up there. Um, yeah, I'd probably say the red, the red socks run was so magical just because it was so long. Um, yeah,

I would say that, that, yeah, it was probably one finally beating the yankees celebrating the way you did too oh three coming back from all four oh three was the usual no no no you were down oh three oh down all three and then you came back and you won four the yankees ran out of days we'll get them tomorrow that's what we kept saying i will get them tomorrow we'll get them no i know dude it's three to one of course they're gonna win one i know it's three to two the guy stole the base it just and then the nightmare

hit when damon hit that dude when my my buddies went in grand slam i was driving into universal park i just pitched his show and that was the closest sports bar and i was driving up that hill screaming with the, hopelessness. My buddy got tickets. And I go, dude, I didn't go. And the hopelessness in my gut when Damon turned on it, I actually see the hit now. I visualize it vividly now.

When that shit went up there, when he did that, and we went down, whatever it was, 4-0. I'll never forget the silence in yankee stadium dude it was it was silent was the place who's your daddy all of that 1918 everybody was shut up homes people were like dude it was a sickening then you started like reaching out to people going like all right dude at least it's the first inning dude it was that you want to talk about shot hurt around the world that was a bullet shot to the fucking head, dude. I know.

And then you guys all ran for cover afterwards. No, I'm happy for you guys. I'm happy. Like all the Yankee fans that I knew that had been rubbing my face. And I remember even Regis Philburn was going, all right, you know, you want it. Okay, let it go. It's like you guys have been chanting 1918 in our fucking faces. You're going to get a little shit for this.

Well, my favorite moment hasn't happened yet. But when that, when my, here's my dream. Can I just tell you my dream? I just want to put my dream on episode four. You can't tell me the Giants beating the undefeated Patriots in the fucking Super Bowl. The Giants, I'll tell you the two moments. The Giants beating the Patriots in the Super Bowl the the Giants I'll tell you the two moments the Giants beating the Patriots in the Super Bowl when Burris when Burris was open like that and I thought there was a flag and there

wasn't that one but I got to tell you the other one was beating the Mets in the world series dude beating the Mets I was jokingly gonna bring that up I was gonna say Clemens you know breaking Piazza's back no no no no, no. Winning the win. You got to understand the friends that I had, the shit talk. I had friends going, go, go position by position. We got Ray Ordonez. He's there with Jeter. He's right there with you, dude.

And we would be in bars going, we got Benji Molina. Dude, we would get it. Yeah. Beating that team at Shea. Oh, I mean, dude, that was like, I remember Joe, Joe Torrey going, I thought my job was, he goes after, cause you know, Steinbrenner cared about beating them more than anybody. It was like, you got to beat the Mets. It was the Mets and the Red Sox, but he wanted to be the team in New York. He, he was like, there's no Mets. It's just us. And when

they did it, Torrey goes, it was like pure nirvana. That's what he said. He goes, it was done. He goes, we did it. And then he goes, and then a couple years later, it's like my job is on the line again. But like beating the Mets and yes, Burris catching the ball to beat the undefeated Patriots, but nothing will be what my dream is. And what my dream is, is it's 100 to 100.

dream is and what my dream is is it's a hundred to a hundred that's amazing to me because the mets yankee series was just such a foregone conclusion and boring i was just going they're not gonna fucking beat these guys no because the way that new york you gotta understand dude there there's a i was living there during the time and i i mean i was outside of it now the hatred of the met the hatred the mets had of us and the talking was it. But, dude, it's 100 to 100 at Madison Square Garden. It's game seven of the NBA finals. And we are playing either. Who's a team that I thought?

Probably I would say the Lakers, God willing, with you guys have a rival. That's a no. The Miami Heat were for a while in the east that was a great rivalry the miami heat were but dude dude there was so many tough motherfuckers alonzo morning what about what's his name uh what about the the pacers the pacers was a rivalry. Oh, no. Here you go. The Bulls. The Chicago Bulls were a rivalry. For years. For fucking years. But, Bill? Oh, Bill. But in the last 20.

Who? I'm asking in the last 20. That's what sucks, dude. That's why it's like there's not a known. It's almost like that. It's like an era rival. We have era rivals. We don't have the known rival like the Celtics have the Lakers teams have to be good for it to be that's what was so funny about the Reds but the Red Sox had the decency to almost get there I guess but I mean as far as like looking at it I guess I mean a rivalry doesn't really depend on success it just makes you because

you look at Michigan I mean they lost nine years in a row. Lost almost every year this century to Ohio State. They still fucking hate each other. Ohio State still gives a shit about beating them. I wish we had that, but you got to let me just tell you the dream. You got to let me tell you the dream.

Just so I could put it into... I just want to put it into the world. I just want to put it out there. I just want to put it into the world. I just want to put it out there. I just want to put this into existence. Jim Carrey. You just moved up to the heavens. It's 100 to 100, and the Knicks are at home at the Garden. Everybody is standing nervous.

Game seven, LeBron's on the Lakers. Let's just throw that in there because that would give me nothing but bliss and who would do it who would hit the who would hit the jumper on this team now I would say either Emmanuel quickly or like Alec Burks just a sharp shooter comes around the corner three two lets it go the fucking buzzer goes off it falls in i know what the garden feels like when that happens in a in a big moment if that happened that's my dream that would be i would probably collapse i would be i'd start hugging strangers dude i'm not joking around i might kiss a stranger on the cheek i'm being dead serious

you're not gonna want to know the vision that i just thought of what i was picturing when they finally win it remember when marlon brando's character was all old running around the garden and the kid was shooting the fucking bug spray at him i'm picturing you shuffling around in like nick's slippers oh come in they're gonna do it what i'm coming hit pause i hope i'm not that old god i hope i'm not that old. God, I hope I'm not that old. But, dude, Josh Adam Myers. I had to say to Josh Adam Myers, I go, Josh, were you fucking with people? I said, dude, were you like trying to like be dramatic?

Dude, Josh Adam Myers crying when the Capitals won. He literally was like this. Dude, I was like, dude, are you fucking with me i thought he was joking dude yeah i don't know maybe he had too many onions in his crab kicks that day dude the best one ever was when we were in that casino we bet that soccer game one of the world cup games just because we like we have to give a fuck about this let's put some money on it you me and bartnick we're just sitting there with money and we thought we were going to win the bet as always right algeria versus

germany we bet yeah oh my god right we bet germany and i forget uh germany didn't cover something no no we bet algeria to win because on 100 you won 800 and they almost right yeah okay all I remember was they cut to the crowd was it an Algerian dude or were they going around the league with highlights you're talking they were going around the league at highlights and Argentina lost to Brazil oh and they cut to the crowd of an Argentinian fan and he was just standing there this old guy just went he started crying like that dude we were fucking howling I mean that's literally what are you one of those like yeah that's not an exaggeration he actually like he lost control dude it was like yeah i mean i've never given what kind of cry is that that's not sobbing no you said it's like bubbling

it's like blubbering you saw his shoulder. Oh, he's fucking. I never was great. Was they held it on him before when he was holding it together? And then he just couldn't hold it in anymore. Dude, Andrew, you could find that Andrew fine. Argentinian fan crying after Brazil beats him. Dude,

you'll do it. I'm going to, I got to give a shout out to fans of anything in South America because how much they go off at MotoGP, Formula One, rock concerts, and soccer. Let's be respectful. We'll call it football, what they call it. Those fans, when I saw ACDC live in South America, I think they were in Argentina, I was like, oh, my God.

They must be bored shitless when they come to the States. Is this in 2014-ish? Yes. Yeah. Hang on. Oh, please tell me this is it. Oh, my God. If you find this, this is the greatest search I've ever...

I don't know how I would ever find this. Oh, man. But, dude, fans down in South america like they go fucking they were in in they there was people in line to go the acdc concert crying saying they changed my life and i was just like wow man i i i thought i was an acdc that's why i'm never taking my kids to any soccer game like that or anything out of the country dude because i'm not taking my kids to any soccer game like that or anything out of the country, dude, because I'm not getting my kids trampled. Fuck that man. That shit.

When I see soccer games and they're all going, Oh, and the fucking thing is rocking. I want that actually scares. I want no part of that. That's funny, but you'll go to an American one with a bunch of fucking animals. If I have a seat and I'm in the lodge,

I like the, I like, I like a sweet. They have that there. They got load seats. Did you find it? I went to a premier league game. Arsenal versus, I like a sweep. They have that there. They got load seats. Did you find it, Andrew, or not? I went to a Premier League game, Arsenal versus Everton.

And I remember Arsenal was up 1-0, and they started singing this song, 1-0 Arsenal. Yes. What's the matter? What? Fuck you all. Dude, I'll share this with you and the fans. Today was my son's first cuts of making the basketball team for junior high

school. And me and Stacy had been talking to him and going at him and I've been sending him motivational stuff. And he just texted me and he said, shot the lights out, made it. And then I, I, oh dude, he said, I made four. He just said, I made four threes, jumped out for loose ball, played defense. Oh, my God, dude. My son made four threes in a scrimmage today.

Yeah, boy. That's fucking great, dude. That's fucking awesome. Fuck yeah, dude. Oh, I could cry. Oh, see, I got to share this. Could you cry like this guy? Oh, Andrew Demlis for three.

This guy? Is this the guy? I don't know, but he's got the right look, though. No, no. I mean, these people are devastated. A woman, you understand. They cry over everything. It's when you see a guy.

No, they got to show the guy bubbling, dude. I bet he's the closer. I mean, these guys, they're the greatest sports fans on the planet. The level. No, dude. They said that beating Brazil meant everything to them. They got kids in trees and shit. No, that's nothing, dude.

You got to get the guy. Dude, look at those people, though, dude. They look like they're looking at a comet ready to fucking kill her. The kids still clap and still stay. Look at that. Oh my God. Have you given? there he goes.

There he goes. And it's totally acceptable. I bet you think men live longer down there. Cause it's okay to cry and get it out of you. Instead of throwing a remote, you actually just sit there and go, they start fucking bawling. Have you cried over any sporting event in your life? A sporting event?

Have you cried or teared up over any sporting event in your life? No. Me neither. You just can't. Look, if they've done like a 30 for 30 about what somebody went through and you build it like that but I've never just watched a game and a guy missed a field goal oh no no I take that back I take that back when the Knicks lost game seven to the Rockets my friend I was in my friend's room and he had this big Lego thing set up the Lego thing and I went fucking I punched it and what the fuck and

i saw when i saw when i saw ewing in the thing talking and he was like we thought we had it i saw you i started to get like i didn't cry but i just got real like fuck man like we had it you broke your lego land was it was it like was it like this was it like this guy? Oh, come on Oh my god No, but I think it's the next guy Wait, wait, wait Oh, it's this guy

I think it's this guy I think it is this guy They're just doing it on a loop though They gotta get him going They're doing the quick loop That's the guy, 100% But they showed it, they just on a loop though they gotta get them going they're doing the quick loop it is that's the guy 100 but like they showed it they just have a loop he broke down oh dude oh these poor people man these fucking poor people man fuck that they're beautiful people man they live in, they're diehards, dude.

It's no joke down there, man. It is no fucking, they go all in. That whole, that whole continent down there, man. They're some of the greatest fans on the planet. Dude, I'm telling you, that level of emotion, they'll have at a rock concert, a fucking, if, if, if, if, who was the guy? Was it Cena? That was, was he a Brazilian driver?

Seneca. Seneca. Is that what the guy's name yeah they would fucking that guy would win they would be crying that the guy won a fucking car race dude i remember acdc they're amazing amazing fans bill bill bill we go to bills like vers We're going to do a show in Montreal, and then we're going to go to see the Formula One. And we're watching the Formula One. We're sitting there. Yeah, we're all there. We're having a good time. After like 20 laps, I just, you know me.

I act like I see something, and I figured the whole sport out. I looked at Bill. I go, nobody's beating this kid. This is the best kid in the world. Nobody's beating this kid. Yeah, Lewis Hamilton. I mean, all this guy does is win i'm like paul you've literally been watching this sport for 25 minutes i got nobody's beating this kid this kid i mean oh look at the guy i mean he's he's you know he's driving for mercedes he's got a nice helmet

but then when we met daniel but then when we met Daniel Ricardo, you were like, well, I'm rooting for that guy. Cause he's like, you know, well, no, he was, he was, he was a Sicilian that lived in Australia from Australia.

I was like, Oh, I'm rooting for this kid. But he had the Mediterranean vibe. Paul did. He had the smile. He let those Aussie people drag him down. He still was.

That guy was fucking loose. He was laughing. He goes, I'm Sicilian. And I was just like, well, I'm rooting for this guy. He came in third that day well daniel ricardo came in third for like didn't he after after you started talking to me about all those he came in third all the time with red bull right

yeah red bull couldn't get past the ferraris and mercedes uh for most of that time and then he had like a falling out like i don't know things went south and he ended up driving for i want to say renault or something like that why can't why don't they make the formula one cars all equal and have the driver be the one that why how could a formula one car be faster than the next it's just the the amount of money um put into because yeah because they are dealing with the same rules and regulations but it just comes down to like money, I guess. So it's like a baseball team having more of a payroll? Yeah, like it's, another thing too is that the cars are really wide and low now.

So you don't get as much passing from what I've heard like back in the day. I gotta be honest with you. I started watching some classic Formula One races. It was fucking scary. Like they were like, I mean mean to you know anytime you do that shit you're risking your life but back then like death was right there like people fucking died no dude that motorcycle shit you sent me that was some shit that i was like those guys going that

fast flying off of cliffs and shit dude fuck that was nuts oh yeah that's the tt race in the isle of man but no but like like moto gp dude you watch clips of races from the 70s and 80s and it's just like they're just wearing leathers that's all they got and they're just flying around and that was like you know as you know it's just like aviation they learn every time somebody dies so just the way they had the track set up in all types just it was just it was like when i watch those old races like because i don't know what's going to happen i'm on the edge of my seat like people could really get up you could get burned up like all kinds of crazy could um could happen to you and uh i mean it used to i mean dude formula one they used to in the 1950s dude they would be going down a straightaway and the crowd was standing behind one yellow rope and two cars would touch and a guy would just go into the fucking crowd and people

would die i mean it was fucking bananas wouldn't cars go airborne too wouldn't cars go airborne there was one a hood came off spinning like a chinese star went down a road and decapitated like five fucking people you're just sitting there and you hear boom you're like oh and then you look back and there's five people in front of you with like a sprinkler coming out of their neck what the race still goes just keeps fucking going oh my, my God, dude. Yeah. There was a German driver.

I think his nickname was Crash or something like that. There's videos of a lot of those. They actually have the crash where the hood went into the crowd, but you can't see what happens. But he went airborne, and then he landed on those concrete barriers, dead on fire in front of this whole crowd. There's like kids there and he's just on fire. And dude, when I say on fire, I mean on fire, not like just his shoulder. The guy looked like a candle. Oh my God, dude. So I read this amazing book called The Limit, which is what they are all going for,

is they are driving at the absolute limit that they can, as fast as they can fucking drive that car around a track without dying. And back then it was without dying. So they were just holding it together. And everybody was trying to figure out a way to go just a little bit faster just now what were that edge what were the top speeds there bill like 210 back in the 50s you know i don't know i would think it was still in the hundreds but still dude i mean jesus christ

still dude you fucking can you imagine driving a car 80 miles an hour with a guy bumping into you and you're just sitting there with your fucking, from here up, just sticking out of the car. When the American got his first ride with Ferrari, it was about the, I forget the guy's fucking name. I only read the whole book. It was the first American, possibly the only American, I don't even know, that ever won the Formula One championship. We were considered inferior drivers.

The technology over there was always like better because um basically the geography because we had all this we have all this space over here so our shit was like i'll fucking do the quarter mile in fucking half a second flying down you know our designs were vulgar and they were they their roads were made out of old cow paths so there was all these tight turns and shit. So their suspension, their designs to this day, man, their designs are fucking incredible over there. So there was a driver when he got his first ride,

the last driver died. And there was literally like a quarter-sized hole in the floorboards, but it's metal, that was there. And he realized the last guy, the reason why it was there, because the last guy got decapitated and they were washing the blood out. So, I mean, the doors are welded shut, so you just had to drain it out there. And it was so primitive back then that anybody else would have, just for drag, would have covered that hole up. Or at least they hadn't at that point.

And it's like, all right, buddy, you're next. Jesus. And the dark humor of Ferrari was Enzo Ferrari, when he found out a driver died, the the rumor was he would say that's terrible and then immediately ask, how's the car? Wow. Here's another great Italian thing for you, Paul. Oof.

You know, how you guys, you know, can find your way around some things there. So the reason why a lot of those Ferraris are so rare, you know, those ones, those baby boomers pay like $10 million for, there was this for some reason in racing, you were required, whatever car you were bringing to the track, you were required to build 100 that could actually be on the road for regular people. I don't know what the reason was. That was a law? Yeah, regular people that it was i don't know what the reason was that was that was a law yeah i forget what it was so what ferrari did was they're like we're not fucking wasting our time hand building a hundred of these they just started the first one they called number

one was number 78 and then they would only make like 22 was Where's number one? We can't file. We don't know. It's number 100. Or they'd call, like they'd make a number one and then they'd make a number 13. You didn't have to have all 100 cars there. And they'd make like whatever. They'd only make a handful of them. So there was only going to be 100. And they made even way less than that.

You know, a couple guys went out there and wrapped them around trees so that's why this they're so rare plus not only that they're absolutely gorgeous gorgeous cars so this is 78 i don't know they got stolen now you shut up you eat manj manj oh that was my sicilian grandma manja manja yeah manja just now you shut up that was the time i remember uh i took my wife to little italy and we sat down and this guy showed up really good looking guy smoking hot wife just had the whole fuck you could tell the guy was just crushing in life right one of those guys you just keep looking at him like oh wow look at him you start thinking about how great his life is and everything so the waiter came up and it was one of those places where you didn't really order

they just fucking brought you out anything and the guy was going yeah hey you know because the guy told all the special i was thinking maybe blah blah blah blah and he just goes like oh yeah yeah and i forget what he did he brought over a plate he just sat it down it wasn't what he ordered he goes now you shut up you eat and his wife fucking lost it absolutely fucking lost it and you could tell you know but the guy laughed too but i think he was just you know you know you know wives love to see that they love to see another guy take their husband down a little bit they don't want to see you lose but you know animosity builds up in a relationship i'll tell you this she fucking died laughing she loved it now you shut up you

eat does that annoy you i was one does that annoy you if your wife does that like i'm trying to think if it annoys me if she laughs at somebody taking a dig at me yeah it bugs me it depends on the laugh i've had a couple of big fights with that now i don't give a fuck you know you kind of you know you expect it i just give a i'll give a look and then I'll just, it'll be a fight later. I'll be like, the fuck is, you know, what was that? You fuck, you know? And then afterwards I'd be like, are you fucking enjoyed that? My wife said one time, she goes, Hey, no,

it's just funny to see people shut you up every once in a while. You know, a good for her for saying. I actually laughed at that. I was like, all right, well, maybe I should fucking put run in my yep so much. When Eddie Murphy, it's one of the greatest bits of raw. When he goes, don't you ever disres, Italians? He goes, don't you ever disres, you fuck, I'll put this glass in your fuck,

don't you ever disres. He said, everything's a question. He goes, what am I, an asshole? Yeah. What am I, a fucking asshole? It's so true, dude so true dude no all right we got to wrap this up because you know i have a little window here i'm gonna go smoke i got i gotta go hug my son dude i gotta go find him hug him and i'm taking him out to dinner did you tell him how

well how proud uncle bill is i definitely will i'll tell you you have no idea the adrenaline jolt i got the second you read, I shot the lights out. I was like, he fucking, it was like, you know, you didn't see the game.

He just checked the score and your team wins. Dude, the kid knocks down threes from the corner. Like you do John Wallace, NBA player. Do you shot his part? Uh, Chrissy D who's got a record at St.

Joseph's goes, Oh, that kid's got a Jimmy. It's got a J does man. He's, you know, but, um, so I'm going to go do that, but thank you guys so much for listening, uh, for coming out to my shows, the stress factory for everything. Um, Paulie's off the clock as far as stand up until January, but we're going to give you this show every week. Um, that's pretty much it, right? Andrew, go, go to the new, the, the merch store, get our merch.

And off the clock. Paul, you know what? Next December, I want to be off the clock. I'm doing this. I'll go visit you. I'm just clocking out after tomorrow night and I'll be home. I told Stacey, I go, Stace, your husband's going to be home for 30 days. She goes, God help me.

I know they get used to us being gone. All right, brother. Have a great one. Love you guys. Talk to you soon. Thank you.