Anything Better? - NFL Picks & Preview | Week 3

Episode Date: September 19, 2024

It's been a rough start!  Bill is 3-5 and Paul is 1-7.  Will Paul pick the Giants again?  Can they hit on two MNF games? If you haven’t signed up for BetMGM yet, use bonus code BURR and you will get up to a $1500 FirstBet Offer on your first wager with BetMGM! Here’s how it works:  1. Download the BetMGM app and sign-up using bonus code BURR. 2. Deposit at least $10 and place your first wager on any game.3. You will receive up to $1500 in bonus bets if your bet loses! Just make sureyou use bonus code BURR when you sign up! First Touchdown Offer Simply place a prop bet on the player to score the first touchdown in any NFL game.  If your player doesn't score first but instead scores second, you'll get your stake back in cash. Disclaimer: See BetMGM.com for Terms. 21+ only. US promotional offers not available in New York, Nevada, Ontario, or Puerto Rico. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER (Available in the US). Call 877-8-HOPENY or text HOPENY (467369) (NY). Call 1-800-NEXT-STEP (AZ), 1-800-327-5050 (MA), 1-800-BETS-OFF (IA), 1-800-981-0023 (PR). First Bet Offer for new customers only. Subject to eligibility requirements. Rewards are non-withdrawable bonus bets that expire in 7 days. In partnership with Kansas Crossing Casino and Hotel.

What's up, everybody? And welcome back to the Anything Better podcast show, NFL edition going into week number three. We've got a great show, me and Bill. Bill's feeling a little better this week. I'm on the other side, Paul. Yeah, doing a little better than I. Influenza, COVID. I am, ooh, old Billy Bedridden. He's as red as Rudolph right now. Yeah, well, dude, compared to last week,

you look fucking fantastic. Oh, dude, I had a headache for one week straight. I had a splitting dumbass. I'm taking Tylenol. Yeah, idiot. I'm taking Tylenol which doesn't have that inflammatory thing. I needed I guess to be taking ibuprofen or adzol and I finally went to the gym. It finally dawned on me to go to a dog. My, you know, the ladies in my life are going, you should go over to the urgent care. So I go over to the urgent care, they do whatever they're doing. And they go, ah, you know, it's not ride it out.

It's like, oh yeah, what's the copay on ride it out? So they go, it's gonna take 45 minutes for the results. Well, I'll fucking call you. I'm not sitting here. I'm dying like a dog. So, and I'm sick. Why would you want me here? So I go back home.

I never called him back. And I just thought I had the next COVID. I flew back from Tennessee next to a barefoot fucking cowboy. And he was crossing. I'm on the inside. He crosses his feet left to right with the dirty feet of his foot.

Dude, I'm telling you, these fucking people, man, it's like I go to get up to use the bathroom. He's standing in the carpet in his bare feet, fucking in and out of the bathroom, fecal matter, urine, tampon blood, all of that on the bottom of your fucking feet. It's so fucked, dude. This is an adult and he's got a first class ticket. That's fucking, dude, that's so gross. The floors are so gross with piss up. Yeah, no boundaries either because I

was like looking at my sides for the play I'm doing and he like when I sat back down he just goes when do you open and I'm like you got any what what the fuck you just reading my shit what look at all my shoulders about enough I'm looking at can I don't know who knows maybe I maybe I got it from somebody a Trader Joe's who knows I don't go to trade just Trade Joe's is the exact same. It's the exact same shit. They have in the regular supermarket. They just take one ingredient Attic and all these people go down there and they get like an avocado sandwich They're fucking man buns swinging behind their heads. Sorry, this is a football podcast. No, it's all good, man. We're going to get into the show, man.

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And there is a new special offer right now. It is called the first touchdown offer. This is pretty cool guys. Uh, you simply place a prop bet on the player you think is going to score the first touchdown in any game. Uh, on a player to score the first touchdown in any game. If your player doesn't score first, but instead score second, you'll get your stack back in cash.

You'll get your stake back in cash. So that's pretty cool. So, uh, check that out and, uh, let's get into these picks for week number three. Guys, I'm not going to lie to you. Okay. I'm a straight shooter. I'll look you right in the camera and I'll just tell you, Hey, I'm having a rough one. Okay.

First two weeks. I mean, Paulie six games back after two weeks, dude, I'm one in seven. I mean, I can't buy a fucking win. I'm losing by half points. I'm losing by toes out of bounds. That's the name of the game. The question is, will I bounce back? Some say no, and some say maybe.

I don't- Paul, you do this every year. Every year you start slow and then you heat up. Paul, there's nothing to see in the first fucking weeks. The top two fucking things right now are Brock Purdy and Gardner Minshew. I know. I know. I mean, it's like, you know, it's gonna fucking get out in the wash in about six weeks in, then you can start predicting what's going on. And the NFL dude is also in a really

weird place right now, where they don't have Brady verse Peyton Manning, they don't have Montana verse Elway or fucking Marino versus this guy. It's a very like team, which I'm telling you, if you look like this is my carry right now with these guys. I feel like the same way the NBA accidentally had super teams with the Celtics and Lakers in the 80s and that's what trends they brand on. Now they do it on purpose from like the late 90s Lakers on. They just had all of these pile on teams. Like it's became where we really didn't start getting the calls until after, uh, which was the spy

gate thing and fucking Brady dating Giselle. That's what took it to the stratosphere. Cause after three people forget this after three Superbowls, they was the systems quarterback with a weak arm. And if I had to start, I would go with Tom, I would go with fucking Payne. The day fucking, this cool hair, that's where fashion shows, he brought the NFL out of America into these international fashion shows and all of a sudden my wife knows who he is.

So you look at them right now, they tried to blow up Patrick and his wife's relationship, people weren't into it. Now Travis is dating fucking Taylor Swift International. Telling you, so now when you go up against those guys, you're going to, you know, these NFL teams, you got to get your fucking storylines going or you're not. Because we got calls, but I got to tell you, I don't know we were holding as egregious

as the fucking chiefs. I had the last week that last play of the game, like on one side of the field, the guy's just like this. Escorting him out of the club. The other does one of these and then kind of goes, go. It was like, you know what it is? I think in the end of the game, home's going back all the time in the world. You know, what's going to happen. He's going to complete it or there's gonna be a pep yep it's a fucking business Paul yeah yeah no am I crazy no no they definitely I think it's like anything I think when

the team is the flavor of the month they get calls I think star players get calls I just do and it is what it is I feel like this is going past that. This is like shit. Where it's like, okay, we're gonna have... Dude, look around the league. You tell me, uh, uh, other team. You froze there. It's nothing, dude. It's just bland right now.

Am I still... am I back? You're back, yeah. Yeah. I'm saying, look around the league right now, Paul. There's no other superstar team. It's all bland. Jets are born, Giants are born, Patriots are born. Bills didn't play out.

Commanders are a fucking joke. Look at the Eagles. What the fuck are the Eagles? They're like their coach. Is he confident? Yeah They both see nothing going on Browns Lions are like I don't know what they are. So it's just like this is all they got I I'm gonna you know, I don't want to jump the gun here because I think people are gonna think I'm I'm really not being biased here I'm really not being biased here. I'm really not being biased.

But the first two weeks I saw the Eagles, man, even that first game that they won, I felt like they almost gave it away. And then last week, their defense does not look good. And I still think there's something funky with the organization, like Jaylen Hurts doesn't look. I don't know, dude. I think the Eagles are, I don't see the Eagles in the same class as the Packers or the Lions in the NFC from what I've seen it's still early and maybe they can click but the Eagles just dude I mean Kirk Cousins and the Lions don't have the real housewives storylines you need

to get the cause somebody on those teams he got data celebrity. It's like Jared Goff's got to find a fucking supermodel. What's he doing? And a grand down, she's married now. He's got to, he's got to get something like that going on. Yeah. Something. You're not going to, you're not getting the, the only storyline they have right now is will these guys three feet and they are And they are gonna ride that pole.

They're riding that fucking thing this whole season until one of these other fucking teams steps up with a superstar fucking quarterback. How funny would it be? Who's like? Did I? I'm listening. No, how funny would it be if they called

James Goff into a meeting? And they go, I mean, Jared Goff into it be if they called James Goff into a meeting and they go, I mean, Jared Goff into a meeting and they James Goff is a comic Jared Goff into a meeting. They go, Jared, we need to talk to you. And he's like, well, what's going on? My plays not good. And they go, no, dude, it's your date in life. We got to figure this out. All right.

Are you going out? You got it like this. You got to stop being such a homebody. You gotta get you out at the US Open. You gotta learn- Fashion Week. Fashion Week. Fashion Week. Or you wanna go the other thing?

You wanna go country? I'm sure there's a country singer maybe you're into. Who's Taylor Swift's rival? Like who's Taylor Swift's rival? Can we get, can we do that? No, I'm telling you, you either got to do that or throw 500 fucking yards a week and nobody's doing it yet. No, no, dude. The yards are like, they're averaging 170 a week right now. Um, it's early. All right, Bill, I think I get the first pick this week.

All right. Yeah, because yeah, you had. What happens is if you lean in and out and then your camera gets out of focus. Yeah. Okay. There you go. All right. I got the first pick this week. I'm going to be all these lines are tight except for the uh, I said, Cincinnati this

week. This week is a rough one. You know what I'm going to do, dude? You know what you're going to do? Paul, you're going to fucking win this week. This week is a rough one. You know what? I'm gonna do dude You know what you're gonna do Paul you're gonna fucking win this week. I hope so buddy That's all your lips your lips to God's ears look and lock all the uptown. Is that what it's been? Come on How do I not I mean, how do you go? I don't know the Panthers dude. The Panthers are bad and Oh wait, well before we do this, hold on, before we do this, we have to bring Jake the Snake in here.

Jake the Snake, can we get in here? Can we get a, we got a lot of injuries this week. How you doing, first of all, buddy, you doing good? Yeah, I'm doing good. How are you guys doing? I think I went two and two last week, so hey, this is a nice improvement. You were the star of the week, I went one and three.

I've gone two and two and one and three. Hey, I didn't know that the Patriots got, I had no idea. I remember there was a fight with the coach. Am I freezing again? Yeah, wait, what did you say? Hello, hello. Yeah, you're there.

We got rid of Matt, uh, August 19th. I... Yeah, yeah. That was a weird one. I missed that. I remember hearing he got into it with the coach. Yeah, he's with was a weird one. I missed that. I remember I remember hearing he got into it with the coach. Yeah, he's with the Falcons now. Yeah, that that was a strange trade.

I didn't understand that either. Um, fucking third round. That was a steal for them. I don't get trading in the NFL. They're like, oh, here's a superstar defensive player for a third round pick. Like, who you drafting the third round? He made all pros on bad Patriot teams. I don't know.

He didn't buy you, and I don't know what the fuck happened. Jake, who's out, Jake? What do we got? We got a lot of injuries this week? Yeah, it's pretty insane. I can run through them all, but I think it'd be better to go game by game. So what game are you looking at?

I mean, is there a way to just run through as many as you can with like the big names? Yeah. What do you got the Raiders game is saving Pauli that minus? Yeah, the Raiders game is the Raiders game is minus five. What do we have anything on the Raiders? No, they're pretty healthy. That's probably one of the healthier games for sure. I'll take a quick look, but I think you're all good there in terms of the Raiders. They looked good last week against Baltimore. That's a big win. And the Panthers look terrible. Well, Crosby eliminated practice yesterday, but it sounds like he's still going to play. Um, all right.

Anything with the, uh, Patriots and the jets tonight's game? Um, that looks pretty good. Patriots had a couple of online injuries, but I think, but all the big names are, are out there. Um, so that those two like are pretty good. All right. So I'll go my first pick. I'm going to ride the hot team. And the Panthers are just bad.

They just benched. There's a lot of stuff going on in the building because they just benched their fucking first round pick from a couple years ago. I mean, the team seems like it's in complete disarray and it also seems like Gardner, Minshew and the Raiders coming off of a Baltimore win in Baltimore. It looks like the team is ready to go. It's less than a touchdown. I'll take the Raiders in Las Vegas to beat the Hapless Carolina Panthers. All right, I'm going to take the Indianapolis Colts minus 1 and 1 half at home against the Bears. I'm just not seeing the Bears at all. And I think the Colts have a really good defense. And what's his face? Anthony Richardson just has a cannon for a goddamn arm.

And hopefully, they'll get him some time. You know, Bears do have a good defense, so that's probably why the spread is so close. But I think if this comes down to quarterbacks, I like the Colts. All right. I fucking love that game. All right, dude, you know what? I'm just a mess this year.

Yeah, but Paul, you've been fucking picking losers, so that shouldn't make me feel. I'm gonna go with... Sorry, tickets, tear up the tickets. Yeah, tear up the tickets, dude. Listen, I hope I can do it. I don't know, man, because it's what have you done for me lately.

I'm gonna take the New York Jets tonight over the Patriots because it's what have you done for me lately? I'm gonna take the New York Jets tonight over the Patriots only because the last big anticipated game at home opener was when he cracked his fucking Achilles four plays in. I think he's gonna come out there. The place is gonna be excited to see Aaron Rodgers at home. I do like what the Patriots are doing and them getting six points is good,

but I think that maybe they got into a little bit of a rhythm late last week on the road. I think the Jets start, start their run tonight. All right. I'm going to take the Bills at home minus five and a half. I don't know. Jack was, I don't know what they're doing. They're playing like dumb football. They're a little erratic.

I feel like this is the third week Josh Allen is settling in with his new receiving crew. It's a home game. This just feels like a win for those guys. And they still have a lot of those pieces left. I don't know what happened to them. They were like this big band that everyone was like, they're the next big thing.

And then it just, they had that fucking re one of the most ridiculous games I've ever seen in my life that, that every moron who's not a real fan of football, it was like 87 to 80 and nobody could stop each other. Yeah. Um, ever since that game, they've just sort of come down to earth. So I'm going to take those guys. All right. Well, I think and I, hey, I could be wrong.

I think that the Minnesota Vikings and Sam Darnold are going to run into their first problem this week. And even though the Texans broke my heart with a fumble on the two, which would have given me a win, I like them minus- I want to hear anymore about your half of points. Half a point goes your way. I don't hear you complaining.

Come on. No, I'm not. It's true. It's true. It's true. But you know, when you, you're grasping when you're one in seven. You're going to be Brian on me right now. Anytime the ball.

Yeah, I'm gonna take a shot. Okay. Yeah, you missed a shot. You missed a shot. You're right. Um, I'm going to take the Texans minus two. I don't see Sam Donald doing this against that team. And everybody keeps talking about the brilliant, uh, Brian Flores defense. I think it could stop. I'm going to take the Texans on the road to win by a field goal against Stam Donald. All right, here's one for you that I actually fucked up.

The point and Seattle Seahawks were minus three and a half at home playing the Dolphins without to a tongue of viola, whatever you say his name. Who's who's a Jake the snake who up quarterback there and Miami It's gonna be Skylar Thompson to it was is gonna be out for a month at least with that concussion Yeah, that was a bad one Fortune as speedy recovery to him. What's the guy's name?

Skylar Thompson, he He's not very good. Oh, hey, by the way, I got to say, is it, why do you say the, I said Will Levi is what I called him because it looked like the name of the jeans when I was growing up, but that's, is it Levis? Yeah. The guy from the Titans? Will Levis.

I was just an old guy. Well, that's how you said it when you sat on the Davenport. I don't know. Jacob, that's a weird number. Minus four and a half. We got Dino Smith under center. Pete Carroll's gone. Who's even their coach? I don't even, what's going on up there? They hired the guy from the Ravens, their defensive coordinator, Mike McDonald, not the singer. That's a great organization. All right, all of a sudden the car...

I got to tell you something, Paul. We're going to have a little fun tonight. I'm going to go up against you. The Patriots have won two weeks in a row for me. I think we've got a good solid defense. The Jets won. This is going to be one of these games where you got to survive that opening quarter losing their minds like, you know, we're finally going to beat the Pats or whatever. They're one and one right now?

Yeah, one and one. Yeah, lost the first week one last week. I'm going to do it just because it's going to be fun. I'll take the Patriots, get in six. And then also I... Huge Aaron Rodgers fan. And I don't want to see it end this way. But I'll be rooting for tonight. My first game I'll get to see this year, Paul,

because they finally got a direct TV at the end of the day with Disney. Good, good, good. All right, for my last pick. All right, so we got the Raiders, we got the Texans, and we got the Jets. Dude, I hate- Can I get a suggestion? Can I give you a suggestion? Yeah. Yeah, I Was looking at this game once again if it was just point lower the fucking bank Joe burrow hasn't had a breakout game yet. He's playing the hapless

commanders Just I mean there but seven that's and a half, seven sucks. Seven and a half, but there's no fucking way you put money on the command. No, the commanders, you know, they looked so bad last week and they have a rookie quarterback. I just, and, and, you know, Cincinnati is so desperate right now for a win and their home. I think that that's a game they have to get. I know seven and a half is that perfect number. I'm looking at the Saints and Eagles, dude.

The Eagles, they just something is wrong and the Saints are flying. But this is too many favorites for me. And I think about David Carr, too. Jesus Christ. No, I know. And they're home, the Eagles are playing desperate. Saquon dropped that ball. They're gonna be really focused.

They probably had a fucking horrible week of practice. Ah, do I do it? Cause I guess just, you know, as a friend, you're a Giants fan, you fucking hate the Eagles. I know, you know what I'm gonna do? Is there any of that? Is this like you want this to happen? No, I'll be honest with you guys, I'm in a bad way right now.

I'm not seeing it. I can't see it yet. Well, I'm not seeing it either. Obviously, look at my record, but I would say it's a fun game to have a little action on. Saints, Eagles, that's a good game. Fuck it, dude. I'm going to take the Saints, dude. I'm going to take the Saints minus three at home. I just think the Eagles have a... There's something broken in Philly, I think.

Do you think it's hungover from whatever the hell happened last year? I think something is off with them. I think they could actually, they almost lost that first game too. So yeah, I'm going to just take the Saints. Derek Carr, Derek Carr and them look fucking fantastic. All right, cool. So everybody stayed away. I thought, you know, something out of respect, I stayed away from your charges, even though I wanted them last week, but you took them and you, you know, his, it's not Charlie Paul. You've been a Charlie, you've been a Charlie guy. So I, but I was surprised a point and a half. I like that matchup as far as like, where'd you go, Paulie? I'm coming. Where did you go, Paulie?

I'll just keep running my yap as I always do I just like Hold on I'm coming back you could hear me, right? Like I hear you What's going on here? I just like Jim Harbaugh. There you go. I love Jim Harbaugh I already like what he's doing the team's coming. They get the personality They're taking on his grit grit the guy is a fucking winner he wanted Stanford he won as a player he won with the Bears he won with the Colts two the hardest things you could ever do yeah prepaid man with the Colts he fucking wins at Stanford he wins at the 49ers, his brother wins. Even he wins at Michigan.

Yeah. What are they, 2-0? They're 2-0. Guy fucking wins. They ain't pretty so far. But I'll see you know, Herbert, hey yo, we took a long time off. Yeah, but I don't know why that number's so low.

It's a pick them, dude. Well, why don't you ask Jake the Snake? I'm sure he's got some sort of inside information going on there. What do you got there, Jake? Yeah, Herbert didn't practice yesterday. When you're not talking to the ladies and you're fucking looking at this game, what do you got? I like us in this matchup. Assuming Herbert plays, which looks like he um, I think we'll be good. Is that planter Fisher, right?

Uh, maybe he got hit in the leg and at the end of the game yesterday or Sunday, I mean, but, um, I think he'll, he'll be all right. He plays through everything. Um, and the Steelers offense did not look very good. I watched, I had them against Denver and it hit, but it was very ugly. Why is that line so low? Why is the line like that? That's a good question.

I don't know. Maybe it's because the Steelers are at home and they're giving them an edge there and their defense is outstanding. So those are the only two things I can point to. What about Russell Wilson? How's he doing out there? He's not I don't think he's gonna play again. Looks like they're gonna start fields again That's what they're gearing up towards

Do not fuck happen to that guy. I don't know He was one of the guys in the league He gets trades at the Broncos and all sudden can't play football anymore If we if the Chargers and the Chiefs both win, then they'll both be three and going into next week when they play each other. So it'll be a fun game that I'll be at. Oh, you're going to go next week? Yes. Oh, nice. Yeah.

All right. I want you to fill the offensive line on the last play of the game when the charges are up by two. Oh, well, yeah, like you're saying, we got to beat them by two scores. You can't beat them by one. They're going to call pass interference. Their players talk about that, about like the teams that they're into, dude. I'm telling you, it's not like the old days. It's too much media competition. You have to kind of finesse.

Yeah. And then they're trying to grow. The Chiefs have the winning formula. They have a great team, great person. They have a celebrity shift. They have everything. They can sell the game globally off of Taylor Swift's tickets. I mean, Travis Kelsey was at the fucking US Open. Yeah. The US Open, with the Gucci bucket hat. It's like they're ripping us off,

like when the Colts stole our offense. Yeah. It's like- What'd you think of that play at the end of the game, where the DB was going for the ball and they still caught pass interference I Mean, I thought it was obvious pass interference. I don't understand like yeah, I thought he got there all

receiver so he Threw it or a with the call Problem was the egregious fucking holding. Yeah on both sides of the field There's no fucking way you miss that. But it's just like, you know, it's like the old days, you know, when the Canadians were the Canadians, man. They went down a goal and there was five minutes left.

By hook or by crook, they were gonna get on the power plate. It just... You had to beat them by two fucking goals. And it's just, it's just how it was. It's just how, and the Patriots had it for the back end of their Super Bowl championship, and then they immediately turned that onto the Chiefs. And it's up to all of these other 31 teams to quit fucking crying and get somebody in

a celebrity relationship and get somebody to start throwing like fucking no look, half yard pass, I still don't get that. Two yard pass, they're freaking out like, I don't know, I still don't, I think Patrick Mahone's A- quarterback. Well, I don't see the fucking cannon arm, you know, changing the plays at the last, I just don't see the fucking cannon arm, you know, changing the plays at the last minute. I just don't see it.

I don't know what the big fucking deal is. Only because the second he came into the league, anything he did, they were like, oh my God, I hope you appreciate what you did. It was like, they were like, what it was, was their panic that they were like, the panic when Peyton left and then they're like, oh my God, Tom's gonna leave. What are we gonna do? Yeah. Yeah.

Romo's the biggest offender of that. He loves doing those Chiefs games. Uh-oh, my God. Hey, I will tell you this. This is the first time I watched football since I've had kids and actually sat and watched it. Because my kids are always coming in, they're a priority, right?

The sheer fucking information, they're just pumping into your head that just goes in one ear and out the other. I'm out of old NFL highlights and you just see him like, Hey, the Steelers are getting the running game going. And now it's just like, they got a cover to 37 is the Mike here. This guy's going over here to his job. He has to seal it off. Try to back to the inside. Now he has to fill the fucking egg gap. It's just like, I feel like I'm in a coaches meet. Yeah, we're all not coaches. Yeah, I know. It's like.

Dude, I have to look up the cover too every three fucking games. I have a life. What have you guys thought of Tom so far? Yeah. Yeah, my wife shouldn't know what a dime fucking coverage is. What she's making chili. Yeah, it's insane.

It's just, and then all the stats and all that, it is just like, it's a fucking lot. It is completely changed. And as far as the kickoff goes, I'm not gonna ever try to understand that. I'm just like, this is what kids do when they kick the ball off. But I know in about two minutes

they're gonna start playing football again. They're playing red light, green light? Is that what's going on? It's horrible. You know what's funny? I had a guest on the Verzi effect yesterday and she's from Pennsylvania, but her dad was a huge cowboy fan. So now she's a huge cowboy fan and she's Sicilian and her dad couldn't stand listening to the, uh, listening to the announcers. So he would mute it and then just play Italian music during the football game. How great is that?

No, that's perfect. Radio was better. Yeah. Radio was better. It's always been better when it comes to that stuff, but like, over promoting things. I saw one in like the Sunday, you know, so they're all like monotone, they can't sing or whatever, and then they come back and everybody was like, that's amazing, they should do that with every team. That's just like, yeah.

Was that amazing? It's just like, you know, the game is amazing. Remember the game? Well, people used to make fun of John Madden. You know, people would make fun of John Madden saying, John Madden kept it so simple, and John Madden just said the obvious. But you know something?

That was a brilliant move because, you know, he knows people aren't coaches and it was great. He didn't, he wasn't. He would diagram the play, but he did it in a funny way. He would circle the guy. He comes in, boom, this guy, boom, and then he goes up the thing. And then it was just funny because he had written all over the place. But like he was, he just, he had the way of doing that. But like now, they are talking like in the fucking locker room.

And like I fell fucking behind. But like it's, I don't know with my feet here. It's probably the NFL. Not long, I'm liking what I'm saying. All right. the took the charges, did you? I pretty sure took the charges, yeah. I did take the charges. Oh, and I'm sitting there saying we both stayed away from the game. Oh, I did take, I still got the fucking fever sweats here, dude.

Oh, Billy, bedridden for a week. So, all right, and I got the Jets, Texans, Raiders, and Saints. And now we would do, all right, so listen, we have a choice for the Monday night. The Monday night special, there's two Monday night football games, the Jacksonville Jags and the Bills,

or the Commanders and Bengals, which is two, right? Andrew, those are both on Monday, correct? They are, they are, sorry. Okay. Who the fuck has time to watch two football games on a Monday night? Doesn't anybody work anymore? Hey, I'll be in here. Is it Flag Day or some shit? Like, who the fuck?

What time do they start the first game? Yeah, I don't like when they fucking... I don't like when the games overlap. Like, one game starts at 7, and then the other game starts at, halftime of the first game. It's like just go fucking seven and ten or something. They can't make enough fucking money. This is what I'm telling you.

Somebody has to get a celebrity girlfriend or another fucking team and calls at the end of the game. Paul, what about you? You got some big dates coming up. You know, what if you, you know, did like a trial separation with your wife just just as it just as a gimmick. We'll help you out with somebody semi famous, you know, but wholesome like it's a cooking show broad, you know, but hot. Amy apron, whatever with it. She has all fucking 15 million. Influencer Paul.

It was right now. million. Right now, there's a new maze of making French toast. This could elevate your comedy crap. And my luck, it'll be like fucking Rachel Ray. Fucking. She's great, too, though. You know, I always thought she was fucking hot even before she did the lighter J. Lo hair thing. I always say, there's some about her. Now there's something about having somebody cook for you. She's together in 20 minutes. She gets a little bag afterwards. You know, I fucking, that was my speed. Dude, she slaps together a sandwich after fucking giving you a little fucking,

you know, Yeah, it's a little thicky, got those hips going, Paul, come on. those hips going, Paul? Come on. I don't know, dude. We could play with this, right, Andrew? I mean, we could do both games. No? What are we going to do here? The commanders are getting seven and a half. You want to tease the number up or down? Can we do that? Can we do a tease or no? Yeah, do whatever you want. All right.

I mean, I would feel a little better if the Bengals are out. You know, yeah, we could take the Bengals having to only win by two and then we could actually tease. No, no, no, they still have to win by five and a half why because they're favored by seven and a half yeah tease you get six points yeah i thought i thought it was six oh i didn't know that i thought you could just pick a number no no no we can you you kind of can build standard but standard talk yeah yes, two teams, you tease the f**king Bengals down a point and a half. Yup. You teasing the Jags up or the Bills down?

Maybe the Jags up. Teasing the Jags up to 11 and a half. Bills not going to beat the Jags by 11 and a half. I like that bet. Oh, Andrew doesn't like it. So we're going to take two favorites. We're going to take two favorites. You're going to take the Jags at home against the Bills. It's week three, just because it's due to one and two more crazy this year.

Oh, but the Bills are at home. The Jags aren't going to lose by more than 11 points. The Jags aren't going to lose by 12 points. No. All right. I didn't think the Ravens were going to lose last week either. No, but the Jags need a win and they't going to lose by 12 points. No. All right. Jack, Jack, I didn't think the Ravens were going to lose last week either. Nah, but the Jags need a win and Trevor Lawrence is a good quarterback.

They're not going to lose by that on prime time. No way. Jake, where you go the other way? I'm with you, Paul. I think it'll be close. It's, it's, it's going to be a close game. Travis ATN is playing right. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. This is one of the healthier games, ironically. Travis ATN's playing, right? Yes.

Yeah. This is one of the healthier games, ironically. Jags on prime time getting 11 and 1 half in a game that they have to win, or they go 0 and 3, or whatever it is, they're going to win. I mean, they're going to come close to winning. It's going to be a close game. I like them.

I took the bills minus 5 and 1 half. What's that? gonna come close to winning. It's gonna be a close game. I like them when I took the bills minus five and a half. I said where was all this advice earlier when I took the bills minus five and a half. No, but listen, even if we lose by 10, even if the Jags lose by 10, we win the bet. Not that's what Yeah. What do you mean? I take the bills and I get not okay. to the We're going against the book here. Paul, I fucking need this one, man. All right, Jack's getting 11 and a half, Bengals down to... Minus one.

What else? And what else? Yeah, what else? We got to do one more. Joe to throw one. And Joe. Joe Burrow to throw one. That's good.

And Josh Allen to throw one. He does run a lot of run one. Oh, oh, shit. That's what I'm doing to up there. Stefan Diggs is gone. Yeah, he is gone. Actually you know what if he's on like the four three or four yard line, he's going to run it himself, isn't he?

He's a country guy, Paul. You know? Oh, they got Cook too. They got Cook. They got Dalvin Cook's younger brother. Yeah. And he's throwing long and short to Cook. So.

All right, let's do that. All right. So we'll do Cook anytime touchdown, Burrow to throw one touchdown. Jaguar is getting 11 and a half and Bengals have to win or lay in one and a half, right? Yeah, I like that, Paul. I like that too. That just feels good, doesn't it? It does. What are the odds on that, Andrew?

Uh, keep talking, I'll put it together. Uh, dude, I need this, dude. I need a week because if I have a bad one, whoa, Paulie's digging a hole, baby. Give me that shovel. Oh, shit. And you know what sucks? This is the earliest in our doing this that you need a week. You're like, one and three, two and two, one and three. That's your September. I would fill one and three, Paul. Dude, if I was an NFL team right now,

I'd be O and three going on the road, needing a win. Yeah, you would be on the hot seat. Dude, I got a fan. You know what sucks? Now the fans reach out to me. Now I got a fan going, Verzi, man, I'm trying to ride with you, but I may have to hold back. I'm like, where the fuck were you the last three years, Dick? What the fuck? Can I get any positive? That's what they're there for. They're there for the fall. They're there for the fall. They're there for the fall. They're not rooting for you.

What if fans say to you, oh my God, dude, you're my favorite comedian right now. It's not right now, but the second anybody comes along and tickles my ass a little better, go fuck yourself. That's why all that matters is your wife and your kids. Boom. That's right. Everything else is bullshit.

Dude, I had a funny one at the stand the other night. Sometimes, Paul, and the second you're laying in the gut, dirty Jordan's stepping over you. It's the same thing with your fucking wife. It's the same thing with your fucking wife. Oh, here we go. No, it is. They don't, you know, it's like things are good, you know, things are good. Money's coming in. All you fucking did. As soon as there's a fucking bump in the road, it fucking changes, dude. It's fucking horrible. Sometimes it's not even a bump, Paul. Sometimes they're just looking for a problem. No bumps. Because they

haven't had a good fight in a minute. Yeah. If there's a problem with fresh asphalt, if the driveway just got paved and there's a problem, yeah, what is the fucking problem? There's no pebbles on the road, dude. No, man. Wait, you got asphalt? Asphalt. You didn't do the blacktop, right? I hate when people do the blacktop. That's like those fucking assholes. I'm going to put a new, you put a floor on top of the floor. No, you can remove the floor. Yeah, no, we don't have blacktop.

Put a floor on top of the floor, you start cutting doors. No, no blacktop. We don't do that. No, no. Um. That's, that's cheese on a fucking cheesesteak, Paul. You go provolone. You don't go black Paul. You go provolone.

You don't go black ton. You go asphalt. Listen, sometimes a little whiz wit though. Depends if I'm drunk. Depends if I'm drunk. So what kind of a fucking Italian chooses fake cheese over real fresh provolone? Listen, the latter is better, but if I'm hammered in Philly, and the guy, if I'm hammered in Philly and the guy, if

I'm hammered in Philly, I just, you know, it's like all inhibitions, like, you know, the bad mistakes you make in Vegas, same thing goes with food. Wait, not that I made mistakes. You know what's funny? Every fucking city is known for something like whatever food and everybody grew up there and you go there and you eat it you just feel like he just ate a boot None of it is good food. No Philly's Yeah, well, I've done cheese steaks steak and cheese in Boston Fucking whatever what he thought get the pizza or whatever you go out to Buffalo you get the fucking wings Oh, you got to go to Duffy's and you get the fucking wings.

And then, oh my God, I want to fucking kill myself. Why am I eating like this? Yo, do you remember me and you had those hot shrimp at St. Alamos? I should have got a Greek salad. Do you remember when me and you had those hot shrimp at St. Alamos in Indianapolis? You don't remember?

No, I thought you were saying when we went to New Orleans for the fucking LSU Alabama and then the fucking Saints Eagles Monday night game at Hartree's. I remember that. You will die. You go to New Orleans, you could actually, if you have not, Octurne had your heart checked,

you could fucking die down there. Oh, it's, yeah. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm the horse radish. But like, remember it, fuck it. Joe, the aftermath of the bite. Oh my God, dude. It's on YouTube, actually. It's on YouTube. Yeah. You could fucking somebody OD in on heroin. You could fucking throw some horse radish

in their mouth. They'd come around. It was like a two second delay to we bit it and we would go, oh, oh, my head went back. Yeah, we just shoot right up, man. Oh, fucking amazing. That was really good, though. Yeah, it was good. I'm happy to be back amongst the living. Got my appetite back.

Nice. Yeah, welcome back. You look great. All right, well, there you have it, guys. That's the show here. Bill got his picks. I got my picks.

You guys got the mundane. Oh, yeah, look. Yeah, play it right here. Oh, my God. Young Polly. Young Polly. Can you what? Oh, that's right. Then you would get the buzz in the back of the head.

Wait, Bill did it too. Oh, that was the best. Oh my God, I was young. Yeah, both are. Oh, look, Billy. Oh, Billy's got some hair left. Oh, look at that. Oh, Billy's got some hair left. Oh, look at that. Oh, that was a big bite. That's a big bite.

Hey, it's showbiz. Got to go in for the thing. Yeah. Yeah. Yo, it was like a three-second delay. Oh. It felt like a COVID test when someone else does it for you. Oh, that's a classic, dude It's fucking jamming way up there. Yeah. All right. All right.

Dude, that was 11 years ago. Holy shit. Time flies. That was, that was only 11 years ago. I looked 20 years younger. My daughter was my daughter. My daughter was one then and Lucas was four. Oh my God. All right guys, that's the, you got our picks. You got the Monday night special, fun Monday night special with the, with the double, what's it called? Tease, two game tease. And make sure guys you go to the Bet MGM app.

It's the best app out there. Guys, you know we've been with them for three years for a reason. Please bet responsibly. Here's what you do. The offer the offer is fifteen hundred dollars in free bets with your first To get your season going how it works is you download the bet MGM app use our code burr B You are are you sign up and deposit at least ten dollars into your bet MGM sportsbook account place your first wager and receive up To fifteen hundred back in bonus bets

if the bet loses. If the bet does lose, your bonus bets will be available once your initial wager is settled. Enjoy. Hopefully I get off the, what do they say, Bill, get off the snide? Whatever, whatever that means. I don't know about that. Hopefully you, you right the ship. Right the ship. Get back on track, whatever. Bill, you're holding the show down right now, dude. I mean, this is, hey, if it wasn't for you, I'm holding the show down with a three and five record. Yeah, well, I'm one and seven.

All right, guys, that is. And that's gonna be fun. We have, hold on, before we get outta here, we have some news here in the chat. It says, Jared Goff is dating a model. Herbert is banged up. And no AJ Brown for the Eagles, which is good for me, and Steelers first home game.

Okay. Wait, he's dating a model? Wait, every chick you met when you were growing up said I used to model. Wait, when did she model? A supermodel or a model, like, everybody, every chick you met when you were growing up said I used a model. Where does she model? A supermodel or a model? She does the car shows? Like, what are we talking here?

No, I think she's like a legit, you know, but I just supermodel. What a group for the Lions. Now what he does is he goes to one of those ridiculous events, okay? And then he steals from the freebies. And then higher-ups in the NFL, they start going like, all right, maybe the Lions could hold a little bit at the end of the game. Dude, there you go. It'll play out. It's my Uggs conspiracy. I love it. I love it. All right, everybody.

I love you, and Andrew, and Jake the Snake, and all the football fans that watch every week. And, dude, everybody was, honestly, a lot of fans were reaching out asking about you. The fans were going love the show hope Bill feels better. That you know you were a trooper holding your head up to that was your flu game and you fucking won some games. I was on for 10 minutes.

All right. All right guys, that's the show. We'll see you guys for week four. Enjoy week three bet responsibly and We'll see you guys for week four. Enjoy week three. Bet responsibly and we'll see you next week.