Anything Better? - Smoked Salmon

Episode Date: July 15, 2023

Is there Anything Better than Bill & Paul talking about breakfast?

What's up everybody and welcome back to the Anything Better podcast. See that guys? We are back, back-to-back weeks with your host, me, Paul Berzy over here in New York, Bill Burr somewhere in a hotel room, and Andrew Themlis, the kid that never leaves Beverly Hills. That's why we call him the Beverly Hills Kid. You guys are listening to episode number 82, and I always think of this guy at 82, but it's not my job. So, Bill, who am I thinking about? Oh, Don Beebe. Don don bb the great white hope they show him on the nfl network every fucking three days running down leon let slap him on the ball this is the classic at least

if you didn't win at least we didn't stop trying it's very inspirational though do you think leon let well you think more people remember Leon Lett for that than the great career he had? I mean, think about that. That guy had an unbelievable career, and then he's at the five-yard line, and he just fucking runs out of gas, or he's celebrating. He also dove on that ball. You know who loves both of those plays

offensive linemen offensive linemen are forever talking about how dumb defensive linemen are they're like they're not smart he goes their whole job is just uh go have a go with the ball right where they offensive linemen feel like they're the astronauts of NFL football. I don't know if they are or not, but they feel like all the stuff that they do is all cerebral. You know what I could say? You know what I want to say to you? I want to say this to you. You know the good thing about not working with you is,

because me and Bill don't get to me and bill don't get to work with each other or see each other i do you know it's the greatest setup for an insult ever you know what the greatest thing about not working with you is i don't see a fucking voice no no no i i was thinking about it dude this january i think i haven't worked with you for six i haven't opened for you for six years with the pandemic which is crazy but uh when we get to do this, I realized how much I miss you. You know what? I got to tell you something, dude. You know what really is fucking, you know what I'm really tired of? I'm working on this on my, I'm talking about this on my act

because I hate narcissists now. I'm tired of fucking Gordon Ramsay and I'm tired of all these non-Italian palates telling me what good food is. I'm tired of these non-Mediterranean palates fucking screaming about food and yelling about food. And that guy, when that guy like yells at somebody and like some like woman's chef is crying and he's in her face and his hair is all fucked up. It's such a fucking controlling, shitty thing to do. And it's like, I don't know, man man i don't think that guy's a great guy i think he's a fucking i think he's like a bully and it's annoying me really annoying me now he's like this you call this and it's like shut the fuck up man you know he annoys me that guy he annoys me you know what's funny is i lose all respect for people

that let somebody yell at him like that. Like he had this woman put two pieces of bread on either side of the head. And he's like, Roy, what is that? What is that? She said, it's a stupid sandwich. He's like, yes, get out of me face. I also think it's funny that he has the nerve to yell at people like that that have knives. And he's like, you know, pack up up your knives get the fuck out of my kitchen i honestly think i don't think it's that

bad no one guy went up to him one guy went up to him did you see the one guy i remember that i i love that guy that guy was like fuck you dude i don't give a fuck and he went in his face and then gordon ramsey acted like he would something, but you knew he was a little, you know, he was a little scared. And it's like, Hey Gordon, I ate food in your country. Yeah. What are you going to go do? You're going to go blanch some fucking potatoes or whatever the fuck you do. It's like, Hey Gordon, I ate in your country. And then I went to France. I got my dick blown off, you know, fuck out of here. Dude, every single thing that went in my mouth in France, every single thing was fucking incredible.

I'll say this. I had the best Italian meal I ever had in Paris. I had the best dessert. I had the best dessert I ever had in Paris. Dude, Paris is like low-level wine. If you go like red wine, which is a normal glass, and then you go to their top, their normal glass of like Cabernet was the sickest shit i ever had when you do like the top notch

it'll blow your dick off dude it's nuts dude those guys if you want to get gout eat it in france like it's it that's the day it's really rich rich over there. I mean, Jesus Christ, the amount of duck and the, like, even like their classic dishes, beef bourguignon and all that. Like, they all know how to eat. It's the weirdest thing. And then you go to Germany. It's right there. Like, what happens? Because you know what it was?

I really think it's because those countries, the people that have been so long, they're like way before travel, and you just weren't exposed to all of this stuff. At least you got to give it up to England. They understood that their food sucked. Like, they've literally enslaved and fucked up one of the greatest, most advanced civilizations just so they can have turmeric.

I got to tell you, the only thing, what, what the English did to India and like how advanced that society was and how they came in there. But what I don't understand is that they were so fucking advanced. How did they allow, that's like when they say women are smarter than men. It's like,

Oh yeah. How the fuck did you end up in this situation? Like I root for women. It's like, can you stop letting us dummies run shit? We obviously don't know what the fuck we're doing. I mean, I root for him to an extent,

you know, but it's like, you know. You know what it is, Paul? I root for good people. I do. I kind of like, my last mushrooms trip, my last mushroom trip got rid of all my misogyny. I'm doing this joke in my act, I go, so,

you know, now all i do is trash cunts yeah i feel like that's all i ever did i i used to lump you all with the one category you know i gotta figure out a way to do that i have to figure out how to enter that and still keep nice women on my side i'm i'm tired of tiptoeing i'm tired of tiptoeing around things that people say you can't do and i'm tired here's the thing everybody should be treated oh who says you can't do it well did the society shit though oh that you know the shit that's frowned upon you know like i'm i'm done not making fun of yes all right so where did we get start with that um oh yeah i just said what i'm getting sick of is not treating everybody the way that you know you know what i was trying to say

was i'm tired of having to tiptoe around people that want to, you know, they say, treat everybody equally. You don't have to, you don't have to tiptoe around anybody. People either like you or they don't, they either like it or they don't. That's it. It's, it's finally over. It was a time, you know, where, you know, people could fucking try to end your career but it's over because it's just fucked it everybody understands it's just like you you can do you can do this to anybody you can do if you go far enough back in anybody's fucking life you're gonna find a place where they made a mistake where they were in the wrong and to just sit there and define them by that one

moment like this is who you are it's it's just like it's just it's it's nobody can live up to that no congratulations you went into my past and you found where I made a mistake, where I was in the wrong, where I did something. I said something I wished I didn't say. That's part of being a human being. Of course. Yep. That's right. Now, OK, if you go all the way back and then you come forward and I'm still doing the same shit, I can see it then. Right. That's right. That's exactly right. Because that means you didn't evolve and you're just a fucking dummy.

And you got hate and all that shit. I get it. Yeah. So, I mean, I don't know. I don't know. But now they're acting like that never happened. But I have been telling people this entire time, just say what you want to say. Do what you want to fucking do. And then the thing is,

and then just stick up for yourself. But the problem was everybody else was running away. You know, corporate lawyers and shit. Paul, I don't want to talk about this shit anymore. Nobody cares. It's over.

I can tell you a great book, Paul. I read a book. Look at this book. This is what I loved about this book immediately. Okay. It was only 150 pages there is no pictures this is man's search for meaning by victor e frankl all right that is so fucking funny dude the name of that book that book, it's about a guy, this Jewish dude in World War II. He went

through four concentration camps before being liberated. He takes you through the three levels of the mindset, the disbelief that you're there, the numbing over of like seeing people dying in your own suffering trying to find meaning in the suffering and then being liberated this day you dreamed of and not even be having the capacity to feel joy because of all the shit that happened to you and then how to overcome it it's a fucking amazing book i got so much out of it um and i go to his wikipedia page i see the guy lived to 92 and i'm thinking this guy was starved tortured beaten until he was just literally skin and bones in his mindset he never let him take away his hope or his sense of purpose when he was in, because he had this manuscript that he was working on and they took it from him. It was sort of his life's

work. And to keep his mind right, he would make notes when no one was looking when he was in there, which kept him in the mindset that I'm getting out of here and I'm going to finish this book, which he did, the manuscript. So I go to his Wikipedia page to learn more about this guy because I felt him so, find him so fascinating. And there's literally a whole section of these fucking cunts taking the piss out of him, like his sort of his contemporaries, because the guy was a doctor. And one of them goes, he wasn't really in auschwitz there's no record of him there he was only there for four days oh my god cross it's just like

well he was in three other ones i mean dude say you're just like it was the ultimate it was the ultimate fucking thing we're like no matter what you fucking do in life, and he's just writing this book trying to help people. People are going like, well, you know, not for nothing, the real hero in this book is kind of him. He's kind of stroking his own balls, and it's just like, like, the left, like. No, that's ridiculous. Dude, that's the worst. The worst.

The fucking worst you know what that is that is jealous that you know what it is paul is if the guy wrote the book and it only sold 20 000 copies they wouldn't have had the energy to hate on him but he sold like 70 million copies of the fucking book so then it's got to be like, well, yeah, he kind of, he kind of exaggerated what? Dude, one minute of Auschwitz. One minute in that concentration camp would be a fucking.

Auschwitz. Auschwitz. What did I say? I can't say it because you fucked. You said Auschwitz. Auschwitz. No, Auschwitz.

Auschwitz was the backup center for the New York Knicks in the late 60s. Auschwitz. Auschwitz. late 60s. Auschwitz. Pearl Washington over to Auschwitz. Dude, one minute in that concentration camp is an eternity. The fact that that guy was there for four days and somebody fucking hated. You know what that's like? That's like taking a picture in front of your mansion and a nice car. But then like there's like your kids toys are on the front lawn and somebody just goes,

yeah, why don't you clean the lawn? It's like, it's you're never always do that. For me, for me, it's all about that dirty rag hanging on the shrub laughing my ass off. And it's like,

no, for you is you fucking hate your own life. Although I will tell you, Paul, these, these fucking assholes who get money and then take pictures of them standing in front of their own all of their own stuff acting like they're trying to inspire you it's like no you're not all right you're showing me all the and it's like the easy it's the stupidest why would you do that to people right right i'm just trying to call i'm just trying to show you you can

do this too yeah listen i'm trying to inspire you by showing you my success it's so ridiculous man it is ridiculous it is ridiculous and i'll tell you something else paul there's no happiness and stuff it's temporary but you know what i think happiness paul and that's in the book man's purpose is to help other people and ease their pain that's what it is and if you fucking do that you don't have time to be dwelling on yourself and your own ego it keeps you out of yourself and it gives you a sense of purpose it gives you a reason to get up in the day and like even other somebody else's pain is literally walking in buying a cup of coffee and making the person behind the counter laugh it can be as simple as that

dude that's everything that's life and yeah people that just want to take take take and don't want that i know people i know people that would look at you and go what are you helping them for you what do you just just get what you can get out of this life this life is and it's so fucking gross and disgusting and speaking of happiness i'm going to tell you to something that i just, I just came across this year, dude. I just came across it this year, dude. And it is changed a lot of my mornings. Do you know that for the first time in my life, dude, this is real. I'm not even trying to be funny for the first time in my life. I actually had a bagel and locks. I had smoked salmon on a bagel. Oh dude. I had smoked salmon capers with cream cheese on an everything bagel. And dude, I always shied away from it because I like sushi.

I just didn't want it smoked. I liked, you know, Ross. Dude, my breakfasts now with coffee, I can't even believe. And it's a Jewish thing, which is crazy. It's a Jewish thing because you wouldn't think. But dude, it's a game changer. No, no, no. You don't think Jewish people can cook? Jewish people, it's a game changer no no i don't think jewish people can

cook jewish people it's like it's like what sebastian said too they're good with the sandwiches they're good with the delis they're good with the they're good with the what is it the condition what's the sandwich come on dude cats is fucking deli what i'm saying a corned beef or a fucking oh my god i'll give you the corned beef and all that, but you wouldn't, I wouldn't. You don't have to, it stands on its own legs. Yeah, yeah. But dude, lox and a bagel with cream cheese and capers, a little onion, overdue. I mean, I'm almost glad.

I like matzo ball soup too. What's that? I like matzo ball soup too. I never had, I don't think I've had. I like matzo crackers. We used to heat those up in the oven and put fucking butter on them. You see Thelma's face? He goes.

Oh, look. You know what it is? I'm just trying to egg Paul on. I'm just trying to egg Paul on. Because I knew Paul was going to go, eh, it's not a minestrone. It's not a minestrone. It's different. Dude, smoked salmon is some delicious shit, man.

Fuck. Well, look, when you were describing that, like you painted that picture. I was there with you. I felt a breeze when you were talking about that. Well, here's the thing. You don't think cream cheese mixed with that. See, that's what was my fear, is throwing cream cheese with the fish. But, dude, it hits nice, man.

You know. You're not going to get an argument. Listen, Paul. This, I would say England is the only place that I went to that. I have bad memories of it. It was like they were doing it on purpose like when i went i i finally realized like i know why in england the indian food they're so crazy about it yeah well that's not even true because i gotta be honest with you this guy took me to his favorite fish and chips place um and it was incredible but i will say afterwards i felt like i was gonna die because it's just deep fried fish and you got the fucking french fries and stuff

like i literally i mean it was amazing we were sitting in a park and i had it and like you know i want to get the experience but uh and got to be honest with you, too. I'm going to walk all this back. Bangers and mash. At first, you're like, what the fuck? These goddamn baked beans for breakfast. You get into it, man. You put it on the toast.

It's actually fucking good. You just got to get in it. And it kind of, like, it gets you into something. I'm big on going to a country and eating what the fuck they're eating. Because there's something about it, ground, it tethers you to the rest of the experience. Dude, how about a freshly, how about a fresh croissant come right out, soft in the middle, flaky outside with some strawberry jam in it? Over. Over. Over.

I can't do the jam. Really? Because it's just fucking like I'm already having the – Dude, I'm at this age, dude. I got to go easy on dairy. Shit takes me out, Paul. I'm like punchy at this point. I got to make sure I fucking eat as well as I can. There's so much shit, dude, that I can't –

I can't have ice cream anymore. I mean, I look at it. I'm just like, that is just going to fucking, I don't know what. I feel myself slumping over. Dude, I got to tell you, I told you this on the phone the other day. And anybody listening to this, man's it took me 40 took me 40 plus years but i now know how to eat and fucking drink like a gentleman dude fourth of july people showed up in my house three o'clock booze everywhere stocked refrigerators coolers everywhere

dude throughout the course of the day and night i might have had two and a half drinks during the day and then at midnight when everybody left i and a half drinks during the day. And then at midnight, when everybody left, I poured myself a glass of wine. I was completely sober, but I did it right. Dude, I had one hamburger. People loaded up their plates. You know what happens at a party? You see the guy, two hot dogs and the burger. I used to be the guy, so I'm not knocking it. Two hot dogs on the side of the plate, the burger, then the fucking potato salad, then this. Then they go back and they gorge themselves and then they grab a beer and you're going, no, man, you're doing it all wrong. Pick the one you really like.

Enjoy it. Okay. It took me so long to eat like a gentleman, dude. I was not full. I wasn't gross. I didn't eat dessert. I took like a half of a chocolate chip cookie just for the fucking thing. Learning, man. I mean, you got of a chocolate chip cookie just for the fucking thing. I'm learning, man.

I mean, you got to. Look, let's be honest. You got to take a chocolate chip cookie just for the thing. Get the little fucking sugar rush there. You got to. You asshole. You got me. I'm in Atlantic City now.

I'm going to try to find a fucking bagel and lox. And I know it's not going to be good here. I was just in New York City. I should have done that. Dude, I got to take you. I have a coffee spot. I got just in New York City. I should have done that. Dude, I gotta take you. I have a coffee spot. I gotta take you too. Yeah? I love it.

It'll change your fucking life. I got one for you. Gun to your head, both of you two. Gun to your head. What's your breakfast of choice if you had just for breakfast? I know Bill's. Bill's is gonna be Eggs Benny, no? No, fuck Eggs Benedict.

Really? Fuck Eggs Benedict. Fuck Eggs Benedict? That's a strong. Fuck Eggs Benedict. Dude. That jerk off sauce on it. Dude, that shit just takes you down to the mat.

Fuck all that. You're not going to. Here's what mine is. Here's mine. Mine is two soft-cooked eggs. Not even poached. I got a little soft-cooked thing, right? One piece of toast.

Hold on. What's the difference between poached and soft-cooked? Poached is you do it in water, and soft-cooked is it's a steam. It's like a little machine. You plug it in water and and soft cooked it's a steam it's like a little machine you plug it in the steam cooks it okay poached that's how you do a poached egg fall poached eggs you get a pot of water right you made them for me at the masters they were delicious yeah so i learned this shit watching the Food Network. You get the water boiling. You got your vinegar in there, right? And then before you put the egg in, you stir it so it's spinning. You want the water spinning.

And then you drop the egg in the middle, and the water spinning makes the egg wrap around itself so it doesn't fucking go all over the place. Then you got two tight ones, Paul. Two fucking tight ones.otted spoon slotted spoon and i go beyond this slotted spoon and then i put it on a paper towel then i have the egg in the paper towel then i put it on the toast because my dad my dad he used to make poached eggs dude and he's like fucking a german lunatic right so he would fucking make them he wouldn't have a slotted spoon he'd take them out on a regular spoon

and he was so impatient he didn't even make toast it was like warm bread and he would dump it on there with the water onto the fucking thing oh dude it's soggy oh paul like the entire country of italy would cry watching him cook. I love the guy to death, but Paul, I'm telling you, man, like he used to do that every Christmas. And I would just be like, we used to be like, Dad, this is like warm bread. That's good. Hey, Tama. So what's your so what's your choice?

What's your. OK, so. I would just do that. The two two soft cooked eggs one piece of toast rye toast too not that fucking goddamn sweet shit my wife always buys that what is it borscht borscht whatever the fuck you call that bread brioche it's brioche bread that you go make french toast with that. I don't want it with my eggs, right? Rye toast, two pieces of bacon, and then either a cortado or a cappuccino. Or a flat white. Cup of coffee.

That's good. Go fucking sitting on a porch with a little breeze. Oh, that's good. All right. My wife comes out and I go, hey, hey, hey, not now. She goes, I'm sorry. And she walks out. And she slowly backs away.

That's, I mean, all right, here's mine. I'm getting hungry. All right, here's mine. Two eggs cooked over medium. This is if I had to. Two eggs cooked over medium. This is if I had to. Two eggs cooked over medium. Crunchy. Crunchy, cooked to perfection

English muffin on the side. Okay. Two nice sausage links on the side. I overbake it. I'll take the two sausage links on the side. Ice water.

Coffee. And a little shot of orange juice and i'm good that's my breakfast oh oh wait wait what what kind of coffee we talking about drip i'm uh for me i actually i'm i'm actually an iced coffee guy so i like a cold brew so i would do a cold i would do a cold brew iced coffee uh pretty much almost black and And I can do it black now. But if I don't do it black, it's a little drop just to take the edge off. Just to take a little edge off. I got one for you, Paul.

I got a theory about people who drink iced coffee. Oh, boy. Not smart. I love iced coffee, man. I love cold drink. I'm fucking i love ice coffee is the classic you know like i live back in massachusetts you see the construction worker come in and he'd have a shingle that he wrote the fucking lunch order on it was always give me this give it in uh fucking four iced coffees yeah no i get that but i can't go hot during the day in

the summer dude i can't have a hot coffee when it's 85 degrees outside i just i'm afraid to go iced coffee why i'm a because i know i'm gonna love it and they're fucking gigantic and you guys walk around like giant babies with like a baba you know That's like an adult baba. You could get a small one, dude. You could get a small one. Okay, that's what she said. Dude, this fucking, these helicopters keep taking off and landing. I had one of the coolest flights I went on.

I flew up to Santa Barbara, and then after that, I went up to Santa Ynez, and I landed up there. And after that, we flew up. The guy who was there, he goes, you want to look at Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch? We're like, yeah. He goes, all right. He goes, fly right towards that triangle in the mountain.

And then he goes, it's off to the left. Dude, we flew over that thing. At first, it was cool. Then I was just like, ugh. None of the shit is still there, right? No, it's still there, dude. And I'm going to tell you, dude, it looks like a fucking carnival. Oh, my God.

You mean like the Ferris wheel and shit's still there and all that? They took the Ferris wheel down, but they got all this other shit. And it's just like. Oh, that's fucking gross, dude. It was gross. Yeah's it was gross and i look i don't know you know this is my thing about that guy it was literally a black guy getting accused of molesting you know white children like how do you know you think the guy's gonna get you know with the level of racism that is prevalent in the court systems, the fact that

he still got off, that's the only thing I'm just like, but I will say when you go there, it's like, dude, this looks like if a pedophile had a billion dollars. Yeah, dude, like, I'll be honest with you, man, after all that shit, especially some of the shit my brother told me that I couldn't even watch because my brother said he watched the thing, dude, I can't listen to the dude's music after he was a kid. I just can't, dude. It's just a tough. I can still listen to his music the way I can still watch OJ's highlights.

I can separate the man's work from the fucking. Yeah, but that's different. What OJ did is different, dude. You know, I mean, it's terrible what he did. No, no, no. Listen, hold on. Let me. Let me. Let me let me uh hold

on a second ladies i'm sorry let me let me backtrack here oj what oj did is horrible okay what oj did is horrible he killed two people but watching a football highlight of a guy before he had a rage thing is different than knowing that a guy was going to go molest little children like on the regular he gotta quit it i don't fucking know i don't know but i will tell you this dude i will tell you just to say none of that shit ever happened at the very least it would be unbelievably sad because it would be about a guy that his childhood was taken from him and he was never able to uh get past that yeah having said that but we haven't done the great 81s yet let's get out of this pedophilia and fucking lost childhood 82s 82 we only said don bb yeah yeah ozzy newsome maybe. Ozzie Newsome. Okay. I remember Ozzie. Raymond Berry. I don't know why Alan, Alan Page

was 88. It must've been before he was on the Vikings or after. Yeah. They get other numbers when they go somewhere else. So. All right. John Stahl, Alan Page, part of the fearsome foursome, Ozzie Newsome, Cleveland Browns, GM that brought the Cleveland Browns their first Super Bowl title when they were the Ravens. That is the Art Modell, Cleveland Browns, Raymond Berry, the great Baltimore coach, John Stallworth. Oh, that's a good one. John Stallworth, him and Lynn Swan. I mean, arguably the greatest one-two punch ever shannon sharp again yeah shannon sharp the great shannon sharp um yeah yeah well not according to skip bayless but yeah um well listen skip bayless you know he holds people to the standard he holds himself

what what number were you when you played sports what's your number i was 10 ah i was i was 25 when i played football for like a month before my dad you know it was my dad saw cte coming oh he was right about that he was right he goes i'm not having to go out down there knocking your fucking brain around. He also saw how slow I was. So he's just like, look, all you're going to do here, you're already not doing well in school. Let's not have you be slow in all areas, both mentally and physically. So I played baseball.

I was number 10. And, you know, we didn't have the money for hockey plus we didn't you just didn't come from a hockey family dude i mean the level of commitment that that that is is apparent that you're going to get up at four in the fucking morning hockey i mean not only that money commitment traveling all that shit um yeah i played in little league one year i had a coach that was nuts so i quit uh no i put i was number five i quit dude the coach was screaming and after one game i was like dude this guy is living out his my mom was just i was like i can't be around this guy football i was number 27 as a defensive back and then I played quarterback and I was number 16, but I didn't want that number. Let me guess.

You're not a 16. No. You are definitely, you're a single digit guy. No, I'm a, I'm a, I got to give you a clue. You look good at number nine. No, my birthday is 11, 11. 11 was my number. 11 would be the number.

I like the number 11. All right. Bill Sims. Bill Sims. Tony Eason. Not many quarterbacks in the NFL other than Sims took 11, man. Drew Bledsoe. Danny White.

Wasn't Bledsoe 12? No, he's 11. Brady was 12. Was Bledsoe 12? No, he's 11. Oh, Brady was, okay. Brady was 12. Was Bledsoe 11 ever? I mean, 12 ever before Brady got there? No? No.

Bledsoe was 11. Tom Brady was 12. Steve Grogan was 14. Jim Plunkett was 16 Tom Owen was 17 Matt Kavanaugh was 12 dude Jim Plunkett

is a wild name that's a fucking sports name if I ever heard one dude Jim Plunkett could be baseball could be football put Plunkett in I love Jim Plunkett that's great that's great yeah yet another not yet another great graphic so one of the great teams no one talks about was

that 76 team the patriots had we were fucking stacked we got fucked on that call that would have been a great super bowl patriots first the uh the vikings That would have been a great Super Bowl. Patriots versus the Vikings. That would have been a great Super Bowl. But I do feel the Raiders were a better team. But we had that number that day, and it was just a bad fucking thing. But, like, I think the Vikings might have beat us where the Raiders just dominate them. You ever see that highlight? I mean, I forget who it was.

where the Raiders just dominate him. You ever see that highlight? I mean, I forget who it was. I don't know if it was – was it Jack Tatum taking out Sammy White or taking out Ahmad Rashad? I think it was Sammy White. Right over the middle. Didn't even play the ball. Went right for his head.

You could just do that. You look at it, and it was like – people are like, yeah, that's football. It's like, it's kind of some fucking punk-ass shit, though. It's like the guy's running, looking the other way, and you don't even play the ball. He's completely vulnerable. I really agree, as much as I feel like they may be overcorrected, but just that somebody could fucking do that.

It's like when you go back and you look at that shit Scott Stevens was doing in the NHL, it was totally legal. You can't say the guy was a dirty player, but you look at it, it was just like, dude, you're going beyond. Yeah, it's like what he's hitting. It's like you're going to alter the quality of this guy's life. Yeah, and it kind of reminds me of what the Detroit Bad Boys did, the Detroit Pistons, the Bad Boys versus the 90s Knicks.

Because the 90s Knicks had Mason, rest his soul, and Oakley and Xavier McDaniel, and their thing was this. And you could watch it. Their thing was if you come into the paint, you're going to pay for it. But when you see what the Bad Boys did, when the dude just turns around and punches the guy on the side of the head and they do that, it turned into like – it turned into – it wasn't basketball. It was like where I feel like the Knicks were just like, dude,

Mason and Oakley are going to put you on your ass, but it's going to be a basketball move. They're going to either foul you or get in your face. And you're going to be looking at them when they when they do it that that was my thing like rick mahorn and bill lambert like punching guys from the back and doing that shit that was just like that was some way for you to leave your feet and stuff yeah lambert was was a fucking animal dude that guy was a fucking animal dude punching but i'll tell you he is funny though that guy is. Like they said to him, you know, do you feel bad about when you guys walked off the court and you didn't shake the bull's hands? He goes, no, fuck them.

He goes, the whole time we were winning, they said we weren't real champions. So fuck them. I was just like, that's a fair point. Yeah, I think Isaiah Thomas had some sort of thing, too, of why they didn't. Like there was more to it than what the last dance said. But either way, you should be a sportsman, you know. I know that's that Jordan fucking Isaiah Thomas is literally like the male version of Real Housewives. Like they still fucking hate each other and shit like it's it's like they're both Hall of Famers.

Like, they still fucking hate each other and shit. Like, it's like they're both Hall of Famers. Dude, I got to be honest with you, man. I loved watching Isaiah Thomas play. That guy was so fucking smooth. He was an amazing player, and he was a tough player. He was a tough player. There's just so much shit now about, you know, Jordan trashing him and not having him on the dream team and everything.

People forget how fucking great a player that guy was. Did see him in magic made up and they were crying and they started hugging and crying and and all that and he goes i know no because you know what paul i don't want to watch that yeah it was brutal i don't want to see i don't want to see men crying i mean it's hard enough to watch women crying. I just don't like seeing adults crying. I understand it or whatever, but it's my own issue. Like,

I just don't want to see you fucking, uh, you know, like what, what, what, whatever that, that is.

It's just like, and then I gotta be honest with you. There's something weird about it. It's like, is it a legit fucking apology when you try you decide to monetize it and film it? Right. It's like these fucking assholes when they go out and they try to do good shit for other people and then they film it. Oh, that's true.

Am I going to quote the Bible here? Heathens pray in public. So I can see how fucking holy you are? Go fucking pray at home, you cunts. Yeah. I said something hilarious i go all you people buying pizzas i go all you people buying pizzas for these people in hospitals working covid night overnight shifts how about you just send them the pizzas and don't take

pictures and tim dillon goes oh no no i wanted people to see what I did. It's just so honest. You know, it's like, no, no, I wanted people to see, but yeah, it's like donate unanimously, anonymously, anonymously, anonymously. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, speaking of that, I wanted to plug something on the show. Our good friend, Vinnie Mark, our good friend, Vinnie Mark. our good friend, Vinnie Mark, if you go to my, if you go to my Facebook page, there's a GoFundMe there. Vinnie Mark is a, one of the silliest, nicest guys. Every time I think of this man, I smile. He's been a comedian in the, from Albany for many, many years. His wife, Jody Weiner, I believeody Jody uh yes his wife Jody she uh passed away after I believe a 14 year unbelievable battle courageous woman and he was such a good such an amazing caretaker

and husband to her um she passed away recently god rest soul. And Vinny can use any help with everything in his life, services and all that stuff. So you could go to my page. It's also on my Twitter. And go and give anything you can, a dollar, whatever you can. But Vinny Mark is seriously one of the most silly guys. And here's a fond memory that I have of him. And Bill, one day we got to go golf with that guy. I said it to him

and he said yeah me and Vinny so he he eats he admittedly eats bad and he loves pizza and his favorite thing to do is eat pizza and he said hey man you're in Albany let's go eat and I go what do you want to go eat he goes I really love pizza so we just go to like his favorite thing in the world is going to a pizzeria like that's what what he wants to do. If you go eat with Vinnie Mark, you're going to a pizzeria. So we go there, which is fine with me. Hey, okay. And we get slices and we go like this. We go, hey, man, can I go, can I get a diet?

Can I get a diet Coke? And they go, you know, in a cup and they go, yeah. And we just go, yeah, can we get ice? And I swear to God, the pizzeria goes, yeah, we don't serve ice here. There's no ice here. And Vinnie thought they were joking. So he goes, well,ia goes, yeah, we don't serve ice here. There's no ice here. And Vinny thought they were joking. So he goes, what? He goes, no, we don't serve ice here.

We could give you a couple. We don't serve ice. So from then, which is years ago till now, me and Vinny will just reach out out of nowhere and just go, how you doing? There's no ice? No ice. Everything is no ice. Everything is no ice now.

And I told him, if he does a charity, I'm down. So help this guy, dude. He's got amazing stories. He used to open and run with Ronnie. He's one of the funniest guys, one of the nicest guys. He helped me out on one of my first road gigs when I moved to New York. And I was like homesick and freaking out and everything. And I was opening for him

and there was some guy in the middle who was super negative. Super negative. Because the 80s boom had been over and he used to be headlining and now he was driving a bus during the day. And this fucking guy and I didn't have any deflector

shields or anything so I didn't know how to block this guy out. And he had me, i almost had a gun in my mouth when during vinnie's set when that guy talked to me he got off stage i was just like yeah he goes what's the matter you could tell my energy had changed and he goes oh i'm fucking listen that guy you're gonna be fine you know you're young you're funny you know just fucking you know don't leave just really just like very fatherly just fucking, you know, don't leave. He was just really just like very fatherly. He's, he's just the best dude. And, and talk about a great husband, man. He, uh, his wife died in his arms, dude.

He was just a hundred percent there for her for better or for worse, good times and in bad. And, uh, it's, it's, you know, he's going through it. He's still, he's still fucking, he's going through it. He's still fucking, he's still hilarious. I was actually talking to him today, so. Oh, dude, he, you know, it's funny because everything with him is like a smile and a joke even when he's going through it. But through all of that stuff

and the few times that I hung out with him and went to lunch with him and talked to him, it was always, I got to take care of Jody. I got to get home to Jody. I got to do it, man. The guy is an example of what it is to be a committed husband, truly in sickness and in health and all that stuff, dude, just year in and year out. And that's what a man does, but how silly he is and how funny he is. And I love his haircut. And I love that he's great at golf because he's great at golf. He's great at golf, which is like, and I mean, like, I think he's legit, like almost a scratch golfer.

I don't know now he's getting old, but like seeing him walk into a pizzeria and seeing his whole style and then knowing how good he is in golf is the best. It's the best. So shout out to Vinnie Mark. And please, guys, give anything you could give to help out but what a great guy there are certain people you meet in life dude that you smile how many of those do you have where like every time you think of them you know you could be and you just you're like oh man that was funny that guy's funny very rare dude to have that very rare he is

uh he's the best he also doesn't shy away from the White Castle either. He got so excited when we went to White Castle after that bananas. He was so excited. He self-admittedly eats bad but loves it. You want to make that guy happy, throw him a big birthday party?

Just order like 15 pies. He's a simple guy. Paul uh oh paul i'm gonna go eat after this podcast yeah yeah it's gonna be um it's gonna be great it's gonna be great uh because now you got choice now you could get locks you could even get the eggs you talked about or you could get pizza or you could get locks. You can even get the eggs you talked about, or you can get pizza, or you can get White Castle. I mean, oh, there's that sandwich joint by you, that famous sandwich joint. Which one is that one?

Oh, dude, the one that Sinatra goes to. We went to it. The meatballs are out. Andrew, can you just type in, I forgot the name. Can you just type in the famous sandwich spot, Atlantic City? We walk there every time we're there. It's insane. It's always best.

Well, he's going to the Yankee game today. Going to the Yankee game today. Going to the Yankee game today, right? Is Judge back? Look, Yanks are in trouble. Yanks lost 15-2 yesterday. They lost two out of three to Baltimore. We're still nine games above.500, dude, but we are going down.

Our pitcher, one of our top pitchers is shit in the bed and judges out with that toe and dude it's one of those things dude deon sanders career basically ended because of a toe you got to get that right or especially when you run the way he does what's it called andrew i don't know there's like 10 of them is it uh there's a big is it tony baloney's oh no no uh white house every fucking can i tell you something every fucking place in jersey Is it Tony Bologna's? No, no, no. White House. Every fucking, can I tell you something? Every fucking place in Jersey to New York tries to claim that Sinatra, he used to fucking eat here after Carnegie Hall.

Like, I love that shit. He played Carnegie Hall and he would fucking get that pizza from Connecticut. It's like, how fucking cold was it by the time it got down there? That makes no fucking sense. That makes no fucking sense that makes no fucking sense he did not order pizza from connecticut when he was playing madison square garden he just didn't he didn't and why and why is frank sinatra's opinion on food mean anything i know at the end of the day he's just some guy from jersey yeah it's it's – but I would take it over Gordon Ramsay.

Oh, callback. The best thing Gordon Ramsay ever did, I watched – I fell out of my chair laughing. I came up on my YouTube several years ago. It was Hotel Hell, and he would go to these hotels and talk about why they sucked but he went to there was one it was like a two-parter he went to this bed and breakfast in vermont and it was run by these two guys so horribly they didn't pay their people they had all this

art that they collected and at point, they bring in a specialist. And he tells them it's this $25,000 piece that he bought. He goes, yeah, it's a fake. Everything these guys did was bad. I'm sorry. I'm dying. But they didn't even live in the bed and breakfast. They lived in a bus outside. It was so bad.

Dude, it's bad enough when you blow 50 bucks in a Cuban cigar and somebody goes, yeah, that's a fake. They blow 25 grand, and you know, the second the guy looks at it, he knows it's fake, but he lets you talk about it for another minute. Look at the colors there. Yeah, it's a print. It's a print.

You can get that at the mall. It was amazing. Yeah, bed and's a print. It's a print. You can get that at the mall. It was amazing. Yeah, Bed and Breakfast in Vermont. It's on YouTube. I mean, you'll die. But, Paul, you like John Taffer, though, right? I think it's what's it called? No, I think it's the White House is what it is.

John Taffer. I love Bartnick's bit. I like bars before John Taffer rescues them. It's fucking so perfect, dude. It's really, really great. But no, I don't really like. It's like, hey, John, I'm not coming here for the mint tulip or whatever he says. I love that.

Hey, John. I'm not coming here for the fine cuisine or something he says. I'm coming here for the fine cuisine or something he says. I'm coming here because I think – what did he say? Because the bartender might show her tits? Yeah. I'm coming here for the cold beer, and I think fucking Marge behind the bar might show me her tits.

That's fucking perfect. It's perfect. No, but to answer your question, the Yankees are in trouble, man. The Yankees are, like, in third place in the East. Judge is out. What can you do, man? What are you going to do? I'm going to go there tonight. Well, dude, we're, like, two, three games above 500,

and we're in last place, and we're way outside the wild card. Yeah, but our whole division is the worst in baseball right now, and it's one of those things where, like, one of us can go on a six-game run and are, like, right back in it. It's one of those weird – What are you talking about, dude? We have one of the hardest divisions. We might have the best overall record out of all.

Tampa's killing it. Fucking Orioles are killing it. I mean, you guys, until you went to this slide, you guys were doing fine. Blue Jays are up we're all above 500 are we you guys okay i thought you guys were under 500 i didn't know that if we're under 500 it's in the last couple of days but we put the whole season we've been like two games above 500 and been 13 games out of first place and in last place if you're above five no we're probably in the top i'm sorry then i said it wrong we're in the toughest division

for the yankees it's the toughest division in baseball yeah yeah that's right tampa's cooled off a little bit the braves have the best record again fucking braves are probably going to do it again like those guys that's a great organization that's just a great – Tampa's a great organization. The Braves are a great organization. And I hate to say it, the fucking Dodgers, man. I mean, the Dodgers are playing that free agency game great. I don't know why the fuck we didn't pay Mookie Betts. I just don't understand.

I just don't understand that. I don't know why – That guy – I just – I don't – There's got't understand that i don't know why that guy i i just i don't i don't there's a gotta be there's gotta be a reason dude because that guy was too good to get rid of money fucking that's the goddamn but you know it's like you're not gonna play that guy then we're gonna go out and go blow a bunch of money on other guys i will tell you justin turner has been fucking uh has been heating it up he's been crushing it uh last i saw but um you know we still have you know it's just it's just we can't put the pitching and the hitting together it's just

it's you know if somebody throws a gem we don't score any runs and then we fucking score eight runs and lose nine to eight you know the same bullshit we've been dealing with the last couple of couple of years whatever i'm still hanging in there. You know what's funny? Somebody needs to do this. You know the way people do, like, impressions of, like, you know, like we had a friend, Jason Lawhead, he would do impressions of people at bat. And there's people that would do impressions of, like,

there's really good golf ones. Dude, if you youtube the guy that does phil mickelson dude dude he does his smile he does his smile then he does the thing dude he does every single thing perfectly and i want to see that and then he hits it lefty and then he does this and he walks by and he smiles it's perfect But somebody's got to do one of, and I think one kid on social media did it, where impressions of fans watching their team lose. Because there's only like four guys. There's the one guy who watches it like this.

There's the one guy that just watches it like this. Then there's the guy that that throws something through the tv and then then there's the guy that just he looks at it his eyes get watery and then there's one guy who just the guy that goes well they don't care i don't care like it's like four guys but it's me i me. I'm the first guy. Like if I watch the Knicks and I start to see it go down. Like Lucas, I told you, he went to his room. I just do.

I just kind of. I'm not a yell guy. I'm not a yell. What the fuck are they doing? That's not me. That was never me. I don't understand. I don't understand that guy.

Who goes like, what the fuck is he doing? You throw the ball. I don't. That's crazy to me. That's actually crazy. I don't know, Paul. You've said that to me a lot. Really?

Dude, one of the funniest fucking things you ever did was that Giants fucking Eagles game where they kicked it two times to that same guy. Oh, yeah. I still remember where I went to breakfast with my wife. You were like, dude, the Giants are fucking on today. They're killing the Eagles. And, you know, I'm out to breakfast, so I shut my phone off. And then so I got all the texts at the same time. But people don't remember the game. Yeah, Deshaun Jackson.

Who was that superhero that they had? Who was it? No, they kicked it to Deshaun Jackson. Deshaun Jackson, who's just like, I mean, he makes professional football players. Pam Oliver. Pam Oliver. You remember Pam Oliver. Her face was like this when the play happened.

They showed her on Fox. She was the Fox sideline. They showed her like this when they kicked it to him and he ran it back. She was going like this. She couldn't fucking believe it. She couldn't believe it. Dude, somewhere i have that in my text thread with you is that it was just like the first one was just like fucking deshaun

jack saying what the fuck are we kicking to that guy for in text but it was lowercase punctuated and then they kicked it to him again there was one what the fuck are we doing kicked it to him again. There was one, what the fuck are we doing? Kicked it to him again. And, Paul, it was the Gettysburg Address, all in capital letters. No, I know. I know. You were just like, what the fuck? What the fuck do we got to do? Will they just finish a fucking game?

Why the fuck would you kick it to this fucking guy again? Just absolutely. But I will say this it takes it takes a lot no what else i mean when i know my team is done i guess what i was saying was when i know it's over when i see 3.2 seconds left of the knicks and the other team starts cheering i kind of get quiet and just stare i i like when it when i officially know it's over but yes you're right i will yell at a moment but i i kind of just get really sad, and then I start thinking about the following year.

When I start feeling my team losing, that's – What in the fucking fuck is that? Dude, what is that? I don't know. Dude, how the fuck is this ride tethered to anything? That is going above. What is that? Oh, is that the slingshot?

It's not a slingshot. These guys are like in a fucking ball. That's got to be on some sort of string. It is. It is. Yeah, yeah. Well, from where the fuck I'm sitting with my old man eyes, I'm looking at like two people in a goddamn gumball.

Just. Can I tell you something, dude? These fucking people, if you just walking down the boardwalk. How fucking run down the goddamn fucking place to get a cheesesteak or a slices. What in the fuck are you getting on that nasa shit for you think they're tightening the bolts down paul you think that you think they're hitting that thing with wd-40 every fucking day to make sure it's all fucking looped up and running like a goddamn rolls royce like you are literally taking your fucking life in your fucking hands

doing some shit like what are you trying to are you trying to be a test pilot like what is the fucking purpose of doing that dude you just reminded me of something i did a show and the comedian told me he goes dude verzi the funniest thing you said was when that woman came outside i do a a show at the Celebrity Theater in Atlantic City. It's one of those things where, oh, Sinatra played here. It's like a 400-seater. And I go, yeah, I said it.

He came back and saw it now. He blows fucking brains out of it. So anyway, listen. There's fucking stained curtains, right? So anyway, we're done the show. Me and two comics go to the casino patio and we get cigars and we're smoking. And it's one night. We're there on a Saturday night.

So this woman comes out, right? It's Saturday night, dude. And this woman comes out. She's got a raspy voice and tattoos. And apparently I didn't know that it kind of came across rude what I did. But she came out and she's like, yeah, what's going on? You guys winning? And it was just typical Atlantic City, just animal.

And she goes, I've been here since Wednesday. And apparently the guy goes, Verzi, you looked at her and apparently I go, you've been here since Wednesday? Jesus. You're like, last Wednesday? Dude, you've been here since Wednesday go the fuck home dude if you're in Atlantic City on Saturday and you were there from Wednesday and you're not performing get the fuck out of there dude I mean that shit can take a beating that's all I can say I mean you're gonna just I mean, how long can you honestly be in a casino? No, there's no way she wasn't in multiple domestic disputes.

Multiple. Somebody that can handle that just had a dude that was just drinking bush lights. Leave me alone, Carol. It starts with the parenting. I had a great moment with my son he fucking he wakes up right oh shit does this thing dude he does this thing where when he wakes up he slowly opens the door and then he just runs down the hall you know how a three-year-old runs how loud it is

and i'm always asleep so i start waking up as he's bum bum bum bum bum bum bum coming down the hall and you start thinking like, fuck it. It sounds like somebody's six foot four broke into the house and is running down the hall with an axe and I'm fucking laying there like, you know, my goddamn BVD's like, what the fuck, right? And I wake up and then the door opens up

and this little kid comes in. So he was all fucking upset and flustered and he was hot and everything. So I brought him to his bed. I was like,'s too early it's too early and he's just like you know dad that's sweet you know he points at the other bed because he wants me to land i said no man i can't i can't he was just so fucking upset and i said all right you want me to lay down next to your bed he's like yeah he's like yeah so he just laid there i'm like you want me to rub your head he's like yeah and i'm just laying there rubbing his head and he slowly went you know and then his arm and i'm slowly like working my way away from him and he fucking ended up just like passing out i felt

such like a great dad i was like that kid just got more affection in that fucking moment than i probably got in a year's time right when i was like they really need like i feel like like um i'm gonna like i'm trying to build this man that is not gonna have fucking you know all the horrible shit i've said about women and stuff is because he's not gonna have that uh dude i told you man i watched this thing and this guy this actor was talking about um you know using memories to help your scene in one point he goes you know it's like this it's like daddy goes it's like the last time you know your cheek touches your mother's cheek and i was thinking like yeah we never did that yeah just it was just not a an affectionate generation

coming up and you think like ah yeah the pussy that neither then you realize when you get old it's like no i think i needed that i think i needed that and maybe i wouldn't be walking around all the time like one of my buddies his catchphrase was what fuck you that was what he would literally you just look at him be like what fuck you and he'd just be like no man i was i was gonna ask you something i just couldn't remember or you'd be like hey man how's that taste and he'd be like good and he'd be like yeah and if you didn't say anything he would immediately go what fuck you dude jay-z jay-z talks about that there were guys that killed people because one guy one guy went to jail they called him like the devil or whatever if you looked at him or you looked at him anyway you'd fucking try to kill you and it was just because he was just so

they broke down it's like he just was so fucking afraid of what people thought of him it's like uh yeah dude that level of love dude they they fucking need they they uh they need that stuff that's really funny like i never thought that i would learn through my kids like why i'm fucked up i learned and there are people in my life that i had to talk and confront about it you know because, because it was like, oh, dude, that's what happened. Oh, OK. That's a little. That's right. That's not fucking cool. Dude, my son is my height now and I grab him by the back of his head and kiss him. And I think he's a baby still because I love I'm like I'm hugging my son. It's like over my head.

Dude, there was there was a fucking instagram video yeah there was an instagram video of this dad for the who like he had a special needs kid and for the first time they were apart for like four days and dude they both like the guy was like the guy was like he looked like he was 70 or 75 and his son was in his 40s or something like that and he saw him they both fucking broke down crying hugging each other i was just going like watching it being like like he like that guy could not have done it any better he just couldn't dude i love watching. I know that this is completely different. But, dude, they showed a German shepherd watch his owner get back from the military after not seeing him for three years.

And he pulled up in the car and the shepherd goes like, dude, it was fucking. The shepherd was looking through the fence and he sees it. But then you could see he's like, no, it can't be. It can't be. And then when the shepherd like really saw it,'s and you know how smart they are its ears went up and he couldn't get to the fence quick enough and they finally opened the fence and the fucking dog runs up to this guy and loses his shit dude what do you got what are they uh any accidents out there no dude i can't tell you how i gotta get the video of it when they first shoot him up there, dude.

They shoot these fucking people. It's nuts. They fucking... Oh, I guess it's in between the poles because it's going above the fucking poles. No, it has two gigantic bungees next to it, attached to it. Oh, okay.

Yeah, it's like a slingshot. That's why I was saying. I don't understand. Like, okay. Yeah, it's like a slingshot. That's why I was saying. I don't understand. Isn't life terrifying enough? Like the fact that it was the hottest July 4th on record ever, and they're canceling flights. What is this going to do to aviation? This is madness.

What are we doing? And it's just not enough for people. They're going to get shot up. They're going to be like no some of them faint some of them faint you ever see a video of that one my favorite thing when you don't even like doing that shit and the second they get in like like this is the thing like this is the dude you know who's gonna pass out before even they turn this shit on. He's got his face in. He's got his, like, buried in, like, a non-existent pillow. It's just like, why would you do this?

You could YouTube guys going, no, let me out, man. No, I don't want to do it, man. And then all of a sudden they let go. They go, no. Yeah, I think they go, no. No. What? Yeah, I think I got a little thing on. Oh, I get it, man.

I will tell you this, dude. Like. Nothing scares the shit out of me like that stuff. Going to some two bit fucking carnival and getting on some goddamn rides dude like like the first time i soloed a helicopter was not as it's not as scary to me is getting on one of those fucking superman roller coasters where they just lock you in that fucking thing and you just you just look at the like this is the thing when When you go to a carnival, nobody running the shit looks like they even remotely understand physics

and everything that they're doing. You have to... You know what I mean? It'd be like fucking... You're going to go fly with a guy that doesn't understand fucking aerodynamics. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. It's nuts. Andrew, how are we doing on time, bud? What do we have? 40? Yeah, just keep going if you want. Yeah. Let's wrap it up in the next five.

Paul, there's a fucking video out there right now of this roller coaster with people Wrap it up in the next five. Paul, there's a fucking video out there right now, okay, of this roller coaster with people in it tearing around this corner. And there's this support post moves like this, and there's a giant crack. And it's just like, what is the fucking pre-flight before you turn this fucking thing on? What? I'm telling you, dude, it was like, it opened up like at least an inch

of concrete. And the crack was from the top all the way to the fucking bottom. And there's all these people, families going by like, I lost my nerve for that, man. I'm not a roller coaster guy, dude. I'll be honest with you.

I never was. I used to be online scared, and then I would do it. People are like, oh, it's good. You want to go again? Like, there was a couple fun times, but that's not me, dude. Not me. No, I am not into uh i'm not i'm not in it dude there's a guy that flies a red bull helicopter out of where i fly he goes i gotta take you up i gotta take you up i'm just like

dude i'm cool with the fucking robinson r44 straight and level i mean it's like it's enough for me yeah we're defying the law of gravity is enough for me i don't need you to fucking go all the way up and you know you know he's gonna try to make me puke i don't want to be insensitive i don't want to be insensitive here because i know people just lost their lives in that small submarine going down to see the titanic and anything like that but i gotta be honest submersible fall was it submersible what yeah well you know either way dude well it's a big fucking i learned there's a big fucking difference that's like the difference between a cadillac and a fucking yugo yeah yeah i i don't know these people that go down all those meters in the in the in the you know like look i you know me we

always discuss this not argue it but we always discuss it. I'm all for going, you know, up to your waist or chest in the ocean, boogie boarding and stuff like that with lifeguards out there. I'll do that. But, dude, getting into something that's going to go that many meters down and you just if there's a crack or anything gets in there, you're dead, dude. Like, I don't get that, man. Fuck that, dude. You know, wrestlers. I don't understand. get that man fuck that dude you know wrestlers i can't i don't understand paul i don't understand how the further down you go you have the weight of the water on top of you because i've never felt the sensation i've never gone i just can't get my head around my because you feel like you're in it and you're a part of it like where if i had a desk on my back because it's a solid i guess that's i can't understand like yeah i can understand a wave knocking you down but like the pressure of all

of that on top of you the fact that it could literally crush a submarine is uh you know like i would literally have to take like that scuba diver course. I mean, I didn't understand anything about air pressure. I had to literally get a pilot's license to understand. It can't crush a submarine, though. It absolutely can't. They all have they have limits. They have limits that you can't go.

You ever watch those sub watched any submarine movie? At some point, they lose power and they're going down. They're like, ah, oh, my God. And they always start to show water coming in, which I don't think probably happens. I think it's just like when it happens, it's just that was my favorite thing about it. Was that of all the ways they could go, imploding was the most humane. It happens so fast, your brain doesn't have time to register and even be like, uh-oh, nothing.

Oh, that's good. It is good because I just kept thinking of the father with his son. Me too. And then I'm probably thinking, why was I this reckless? Oh, my God. How's her mother going to handle the fact that she lost her husband and her son at the same – they didn't have time to think of that. That was the only thing that made me feel good about that story.

Oh, man. And football season's coming up, Paul. We got the bad MGM, baby. Week one coming up in a couple of weeks. Rest those people. What are you thinking? What are you thinking about Aaron Rodgers going to the New York Jets? The New York Jets finally.

Paul, it has been 55 fucking years. 54 fucking years since Joe Willie Naiman. Are you asking if they're going to win the Super Bowl? I'm asking are they going to have a shot? Yes, I think they are. And I think they're going to go to the playoffs because they have the defense and now they have the quarterback. So absolutely. But I also think the Giants got go to the playoffs because they have the defense and now they have the quarterback. So absolutely.

But I also think the Giants got a shot because of what they did and how good and far they went. Enough with the Giants, Paul. What do you mean? We got a shot. Huh? You got a good shot. I'm talking about the Jets.

You're the Giants, Paul. You always got a shot. I don't want to fucking hear about the fucking Giants. You won four of them. You won four. The Jets have a shot. I don't want to fucking hear about the fucking Giants. You won four of them. You won four. I'm talking about the Jets. Don't do this Yankees-Mets shit to me. I know you're a Giants fan. I know you believe in them.

I know you believe in the Knicks. I know your whole fucking sports ballot here. As a Patriots fan, they're in my division. Here's the thing. I don't... After the fucking run we went on, I don't have it in me to hate the Bills, Jets, and Dolphins.

I just don't give a fuck, right? I'm actually, I'm more fascinated now with what are the pieces they're going to give Aaron Rodgers. And then I have to be, you know, dude, like, who do you, okay. Here's a question. Here's a sports question for you. Paul, you're so fucking upset. Like the level that you hate the Jets. No, no, no.

The look on your fucking face. I mean, they're not even a fucking factor. No, I think they're going to be good. I really do. But that bugs you. no no what it is is no no what it is what it is is you know dude that was like an acting class give me three different ways to say no you're like no no no the rubbing of the nose what the fuck Did your nose even itch? What the fuck was going on there? You know what it is?

Because the Jets just have this. It's like we got to win something before you talk. I think that Jets, Mets, Nets, they all need to win before they talk. Knicks too. Knicks too. That's all. Win one, no? What else do they have other than shit talking?

They got nothing in their trophy case. Just fucking. Yeah. You're above it, Paul. You're above it. You're a Giants Yankees fan. You're above it. Here's the thing, dude.

I'll be honest with you. I don't know if Aaron Rodgers had a defense like this in a long time, dude. So that would be my thing to be in their division and worried about is their defense. But they had that quarterback that wasn't good. Now they got this kid back. They got him. So, and I think he's- All right, so here's my question.

Yeah. My question to you, Paul. Between Jets fans and Knicks fans. Yeah. One of those teams wins the championship. Who cries harder? The Knicks fan? Definitely. Or the Jets fan? wins the championship who cries harder the nick fan definite or the jets fan who's been through more misery dude i've been to both of those buildings for those teams and i could promise you this dude nick fans ask jerry ferrara that dude we dude my son it's like dude it's gonna be

ask jerry ferrara that dude we dude my son it's like dude it's gonna be it's i don't i don't think you understand what it's gonna mean to me i don't think you understand because because it's also like a basketball city and i and i think all of the baggage that we had with patrick never winning one and going to game seven with Riley leaving, with Van Gundy kind of getting us back, with all of the things that have happened. You know, like Clyde Frazier, they want him to see one. He's in his 70s and he's just doing games. He has it.

I think, dude, if we get – like, dude, how nuts was it to see all the old Knicks, Sprewell, Starks, all there cheering, flying with the team going. Dude, I think it's going to be – I will say this, dude. The fact that you guys did that, that makes up for Oakley a little bit. Throwing Oakley out of the guard, man. That was a fucking definite low point. That was. That was.

a fucking definite low point that was like it was i i do feel um a big part of uh a franchise continuing to have success is to maintain great relationships and respect with the people that made the franchise what it is and to bring them back so the kids can be like, I want to be one of those guys. I want to get invited back. When I got the white hair and my beard and waved to people, and I was one of the ones that continued the tradition of winning. I think that is a huge thing that the Knicks in the past haven't done. The Celtics are starting to do it. Like, they didn't do that for the longest fucking time, which is crazy to me.

Like, we somehow, I don't, I feel like we don't have a good, like, relationship with Larry Bird. So, anyway. Dude, how crazy are you? I'll be honest with you. I am just – I'm kind of like – it's kind of like, you know, I'm in this weird purgatory with the Patriots. Like I love the Patriots and everything, but I have accepted that the run is over and that we've got to totally reboot the thing.

But, you know, we won so much that I can. I don't know. I just don't like when you fucking lose is when you really hate. Maybe if we just lost for a while and they're assholes, I can like get myself to hate it. Like I fucking hated the Jets, although we were winning. I did hate the Jets when. When the guy in defeat there ryan uh rex ryan you know because they were talking all this yeah it's like yeah because they were talking they were talking all this shit like they had already won a super bowl then like with everything that they fucking did all they ever did was beat

us in the playoffs once and then you didn't do anything all of that fucking rebus island and this and that i'm not going to did it kiss the rings you didn't do anything no you guys have won so much you guys have won so much now that it kind of it something happens where you're just kind of like, it's like, you're chasing this like hot chick that you're trying to date. And then now all she does is call you. Are we going to do it? I loved it. And you're like,

dude, enough to, yeah. All right, dude. You'll never remember that happening to me. You're like, how many times?

I will say this. I, I am, I'm hope, you know know it'll be fucking great as if the jets are great and then i get to watch the bills and the jets because you're looking at two of the sorriest fucking franchises in the same goddamn division and now all of a sudden they have this aaron rogers been there and done it and like his knowledge and then josh allen the upstart and all of that which i feel like last year was a disappointment with that. They didn't get to the Superbowl. So I'm kind of really like that,

like those games are going to be marked down on my sports watching calendar. The two jets bills games. Cause it's like, what if, what if the bills missed their window and Aaron Rogers with all of his football knowledge and with that defense goes in and just fucking schools him i think is way is a way more interesting story than is bill belichick and mac jones going to get on the same page yeah i mean look i i'm never going to count you can't count that organization

out ever ever um i'm going to tell you something though, dude. I think I was a little early last year, but you know, I picked the San Diego Chargers. That was such a sin to see a team that good and then have that happen in the playoffs. Justin Herbert is as good as any quarterback in football. Are they balanced though? How's their defense? I mean, obviously- I don't think their offense is the problem. No, no. Obviously, the defense is not as good as their offense because they should have went. But, dude, I mean, I've never seen a kid like – I mean, I have seen a kid. I don't know if I've seen Justin Herbert 6'6", 6'7", make every throw.

Really smart kid. He's getting better. He completely keeps ascending. He keeps getting better. Yeah, dude, they should have went further. Did they make any moves, drafts or anything? They must have done something for the defense. They had to have.

I got to look at that. Yeah, I mean, I don't follow him close enough, but that team was really good last year. I think they kind of stayed together. I hope they stayed together. But, yeah, I think the Jets are going to be good, to answer your question. I think Aaron Rodgers is going to really kind of cause they're already saying that like his experience,

they say he's teaching young guys a ton of shit and he's going out with them. And now the defense that's really good and him go out to dinner and talk. I think they're going to be really good, man. And, and I, and I it'll be good to see for New York. I think we play them. So I can't wait to see that. That's a little shit talking, but yeah, they're going to be good. They're going to be good. What are you thinking about your boy there, Garoppolo,

going to the Raiders? I think it's great. I think it's good home for him. And Derek Carr ended up with New Orleans? Yeah. He went to New Orleans. Is he backing up down there? Who's that? Jamarcus Russell? Who's that guy? Jamarcus Russellsell jim marcus russell jesus christ i said the wrong guy the

guy from florida state oh winston james winston i almost said jacori harris there's too many j quarterbacks that's the guy from fucking the miami uh hurricanes uh or something or other dude going back to what we were saying there's this weird thing that if the knicks did win me and my son would lose something that we have together does that make sense like we have this thing where like if we got over that hurdle it would be something so in my mind i'm like i either want it to happen like right now so we can try to get another one or like keep it going in this weird way but obviously i don't want to keep it going but like me and him have this thing where we text

each other hey did you see the move did you see the draft can i say something you guys you guys have suffered long enough when you get to 50 fucking years it's like it's over already so um i have to be honest with you that's kind of where i am as a sports fan right now there's a few teams that i will never root for the uh i mean the yankees don't even bug me anymore the fucking canadians the lakers and there's no one in football that bugs me yeah it's hard to get mad anymore as a boston sports fan too yeah it's like there's nobody who am i gonna be am I going to be mad at? The Lakers, for some reason, the Lakers annoy me, dude. I used to love the Lakers with Magic.

And I was like, dude, the Lakers now really fucking annoy me. LeBron James fucking annoys me. And the Dallas Cowboys are the Dallas Cowboys fans, dude. I mean, I want them to, they're tough for me. So I'll say that I dislike the Cowboys more than the Red Sox or any New England team. And I'd go as far as to say, seeing the Mets in a little pain, I kind of know why George Steinbrenner wanted the Yankees to beat the Mets more than the Red Sox now. I just feel like that's, as a Yankee fan, that's so sadistic. Like, dude, all they know is fucking losing.

But, Bill, you don't understand the visceral hate they have for Yankee fans and Yankees. Well, they should. They're jealous. They're envious. They're envious. You should just sit there and be like, yeah, I know, man. It's got to suck. What are they gonna say

like when they're talking shit about your fucking team paul what can they say right it's true what are they gonna say all you do is buy it because well you guys try you guys try every fuck they're out there spending all kinds of fucking money they can't say that dude what about speaking of money bill what about these contracts nba players are getting dude you see the money these kids are dude guys that are like guys that would not make 10 million dollars are getting like guys that are not making that shouldn't be making 10 million are getting 60 million for two years it's like fucking dude it's money in the nba right now you're going like, they gave that guy $120 million for five years? You're like, it's wild, dude.

It's wild. This is what I don't get. It's like, are the ratings that high? I don't know. It doesn't feel like a – like, I'll be honest with you. I think this was a great season that the NBA had. I think that that fucking – that that Crypt crypt keeper that's running the fucking NBA now that literally looks like a fucking

Adam Silver. Yeah, yeah. You can't convince me that guy doesn't sleep in a coffin. And I'll tell you something, dude. I didn't see a lot of referees interfering with too many playoff games like this was a there were a couple bad calls, but like I was like, oh, they're letting

it actually it's the first time it seemed like a legit season, I feel, in a while. Since the 90s. Yeah, dude. Since the 90s. Like, I think that guy Stern, rest his soul, but I think that that guy was, you know, sports entertainment. He manipulated the game. And it was WWE, man.

And their brand was super teams. And I've said this a million times, so I'm not going to keep going on this. But I thought it was so great for fucking NBA to see. Denver Nuggets. The Nuggets. And even though the Heat, but The Heat's a good organization. I don't think they're played out, but I love that they were in there.

I wish it was a better series or whatever. It was refreshing to see a guy who just didn't... Okay, we did it. We did our jobs. I don't fucking want to go home. It was just funny as opposed to somebody standing there trying to contemplate their own greatness.

It just gets like, you know, it's funny. I was listening to something was on one of those fucking auto tune songs. I was hanging out with Josh Adam Myers and I'm just like, when are these auto tune guys going to get sick of talking about all the women and stuff that they have? I barely listen to it. And every once in a while, I check in. It's like you're still in your walk-in closet. You're still talking about all the shit in your garage. I mean, it's just like all the shit that's fucking going on that you could be talking about.

I don't know. It's just – I don't know. I remember the gangster rap shit that got played out, the fucking heavy metal with the devil shit that got played out. But talking about how much shit you have and how many women you have is on an unprecedented run. It's like 30 straight fucking

years. Yeah. No, it is. It's almost like listening to me bitching about the NBA. I think I've been doing that for almost 30 years. All right, Paul. Let's fucking wrap this up. You got a game to go to.

Hey, take Paul out to the ball game hey i got him out to the crowd give him a hoodie and jordan one's brand new yankee and a fucking hot dog jordan three sorry i'm thinking about thinking i want to take soph Sophia out to, dude, how about Taylor Swift? Going to make $3 billion on this tour because the worst seat in the house of a football stadium is $1,300. Dude, I wanted to take my daughter. The worst seat in the house is $1,300 at MetLife. And I'm like, my daughter's going to see a little ant.

And I'm like, are we going to even hear it? And I would pay for it. And then I looked like, get up close. They want like six grand. Dude, if you want upfront front listen to this shit if you want up front taylor swift concert tickets at a football stadiums 14 grand each dude that's a fucking jet that's a private jet to the fuck she's a gangster man dude she's a i i i like dude the way she took on record labels, the way she's done everything. She's a gangster.

But I mean, I don't this dynamic pricing that they're fucking doing it because it's just like, well, the scalpers are going to do it anyway. So I might as well get the money. Bullshit. I don't know enough about it. it but i will say i will say this like just as a performer like watching how dude look at this look how fucking high up they go past the things i mean what the fuck i'm just not gonna get over that doesn't your life mean anything dude how old are those bungees? You're in fucking Atlantic City. The fucking guy with parachute pants is running that thing. Me and Pete Davidson were going to do that.

We were in Atlantic City once. We're going to do that. Go ahead. The fact that, like, you know, my whole career, I've always looked up to people like Sandler, Mark Wahlberg, Tyler Perry. These guys that fucking, they don't just create. They see how the business works. And it's like, oh, all right, because you get in that mindset. Oh, I'm starting this thing.

Oh, I'm the pimp. And you realize, no, they got me walking the block. They figure out how to get on the other side of the desk. There's still always somebody stealing from you, but they figure out the business. So like Taylor Swift, like Jay-Z's another one. Taylor Swift is a 50 cent, vitamin water, all of this shit.

They figured this stuff out. Watching her see the bullshit, vitamin water all of this shit they figured this stuff out um watching her see the bullshit see that she's getting ripped off and then turning her around is amazing but i will say like i mean yeah but you don't need three billion on one tour you know if she just walks after this i'd be like man that is the most fucking tony soprano shit i've ever seen in my fucking life but like i i mean dude i took it you know what i fucking hate i hate when people come at me go dude like you're funny i ain't paying that i want to be like dude i'm not charging that yeah exactly i'm not charging that you're on a fucking site i don't

get any of that money. I took it personally. I was like, she thinks I can't afford it. I'm going. So now I think I'm going to fly my daughter to SoFi out of spite. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. So I don't give a fuck. What, she thinks I can't afford it?

Oh, wait. You're going to go out to SoFi? All right. I like that. You're going to be a... Yeah. What, does Taylor Swift think I can't afford fucking a few grand for a ticket? I'll show her I can.

Yeah, but you know what this is going to create for? Because I feel like people that play football stadiums and stuff like that, at the end, they don't have anybody left to compete with. So now she's setting the bar. So is this going to... I think this is kind of a bad thing. so is this gonna like i think this is kind of a bad thing like like the liberals using uh you know partisan politics to go after donald trump to fucking hold his feet to the fire for

doing shit that rich people do all the time what they've created now is the conservatives are now going to do that and you know who's going to suffer american people because nobody's going to be allowed to be president because the whole time they're going to be fighting off a fucking conviction. So I feel like people are going to be like, oh, she made $3 billion. I'm going to be the first person to make $4 billion. People at that level, they can get caught up in that shit. I don't know. Dude, nobody used to get impeached.

Now you're going to see presidents be getting impeached. You're going to see before Clinton, nobody got impeached. Now you're going to see, watch, 100 years from now, oh, this one got impeached. That one got impeached. That one got indicted. This one got impeached. No, the people got impeached.

There was a guy who actually got impeached and actually had to leave the office. Because the thing about it is, Bill Clinton didn't get impeached. What he did was there was enough votes to see if they would impeach him. Right. That's what it is. And the thing about it is, is you need like three quarters of the vote. So half of the people on your fucking team need to vote against you to

actually kick you out of the office it's not gonna what's his face um um nixon stepped down there was a guy i forget his name actually andrew johnson in johnson no andrew johnson andrew johnson andrew johnson okay he they were like, this guy has to leave. And I'm thinking, like, what the fuck did he do? Because they're all, what in the fuck did he do? It's like the classic Guns N' Roses joke. How much drugs do you have to do to get kicked out of Guns N' Roses? But back in the day, they're healthy now.

All right, dude, let's wrap this up, man. I got to go get myself a fucking sandwich on the boardwalk before I do my show. Okay. Well, that's been episode 82, everybody. Thank you guys for listening. Please rate and review the show. It makes the show go up. We're going to be back, guys.

We're coming back weekly, and we have the BetMGM, which you know will be back weekly because we got some football. Hey, Paul, let's stop saying it and actually do it. Yeah. We're like Jets and Mets fans. We're just talking here, Paul. We got to put on that. And we have to with the BetMGM shit too because we got games to pick. All right, guys.

Well, this show is like being a sports fan. When the big ones end, you know, we take the dark days of summer off a little bit. Go fuck yourself. I'm going to dip my toes in a goddamn pool. Check Bill out on tour. Actually, you know what? My first leg of the tour is kind of done,

but my last date of the first leg of the tour will be July 22nd and 23rd. I'm going to Phoenix. We just added it. CB Live, two Saturday, one Sunday, and then go to paulverzi.com. Check out all of our podcasts, Monday Morning Podcast, Verzi Effect. Andrew Themlis, what else do we have? Is that it? All right, guys, we'll be back next week with episode number 83. Enjoy the rest of your week. We'll talk to you guys soon. All right. See you. Thank you.