anything goes with emma chamberlain - dealing with difficult people 

Episode Date: November 24, 2022

we deal with difficult people every day...sometimes it's our family members, sometimes it's our friends, sometimes it's people at work or on the internet...no matter where you experience difficult pe...ople the most, you're definitely experiencing them. today i want to talk about how i deal with difficult people, how i prevent them from ruining my day and how i've gotten to a place where i feel kind of invincible when it comes to dealing with people, in general...i've gotten to a place where what other people do or say doesn't affect me very deeply anymore. i want to talk about it, because i think it's a really incredible skill to have and it saves you from a lot of pain and grief in life.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hello, what's up? How is it going today? Today I wanted to talk about dealing with difficult people. We deal with difficult people every day. Sometimes it's our family members. Sometimes it's our friends. Sometimes it's people at work. Sometimes it's people at school.
Starting point is 00:00:23 Sometimes it's people at the grocery store. Sometimes it's people on the internet. Actually, it's people on the internet often. There are a lot of difficult people on the internet. That is for sure. But no matter where you experience difficult people the most, you're definitely experiencing them. And today I wanted to talk about how I deal with difficult people, how I prevent letting them ruin my day, I guess, and how I've gotten to a place where I feel kind of, what's the word? I feel kind of invincible when it comes to dealing with people in general, difficult, manipulative, whatever. I've got no place where I feel invincible. And what other people do and what other people say doesn't affect me very much. And it doesn't affect me very deeply.
Starting point is 00:01:40 I want to talk about it because I think it's a really incredible skill to have. And I think that it saves you from a lot of pain and grief in a lot of ways. Because when I was growing up, I was very sensitive. And I am still very sensitive. I used to take everybody's words straight to my heart, like straight to my soul. When somebody would criticize me or treat me badly, or pick on me, or give me a hard time, it would upset me on a deep level, and it would stick around in my head for days or even weeks. I was very vulnerable,
Starting point is 00:02:30 you know, emotionally. So people's words could go straight into my head. I had no protective barrier between myself and other people's words and behaviors. But over the years, I've started to build a barrier between myself and people's words. Now, obviously, this barrier is not real. I'm not saying like, I created a spiritual aura around myself that protects me. So when people say me and things to me, it just bounces off and I literally feel nothing. No, I have created my own barrier in my psyche, in my brain, that protects me from other people's words and actions and opinions. So now, when people say things to me that are maybe challenging to hear,
Starting point is 00:03:34 because they're either a form of criticism or their mean or judgmental or opinionated, whatever, it doesn't penetrate straight into my brain like it used to. I've almost created a holding area for other people's words and actions and behaviors. So before I let them take over my brain, they have to sit in this holding area first in my brain where I analyze them before I this holding area first in my brain, where I analyze them before I decide whether or not I'm going to ingest them fully. Does that make sense? It maybe it'll make more sense throughout the episode.
Starting point is 00:04:16 I don't know, but this sort of process that I've taught myself over the years has helped me immensely with dealing with difficult people. And, you know, there's a few other things that have helped me deal with difficult people, but this is the main mechanism that we're going to be discussing today. But before we go any further, let's discuss what a difficult person is. In my opinion, a difficult person can look many different ways. A difficult person could be somebody who is just very stubborn with their opinions and their beliefs. An example would be your aunt or your uncle or your cousin or something who is always starting a fight
Starting point is 00:05:08 during the holidays because They have One belief about something. Let's say they believe that all of the kids in the family should be going to college No questions asked every kid in the family should be going to college. And so every holiday, this family member comes in and says, so are all of you guys in college to all the kids in the family? And maybe one kid says, I'm not going to college.
Starting point is 00:05:35 I'm taking a year off to travel, I don't know. And this family member's like, no, you are making a big mistake and here's why. And then they lean in and they start fighting with, you know, they start, you see what I'm saying? Somebody who's stubborn and obsessed with getting their point across and stuck in their opinion and can't see outside of it.
Starting point is 00:06:04 That's a difficult person. Difficult people can also just be argumentative. Like they just want to argue for fun. An example of this would be, let's say your significant other is constantly trying to pick a fight with you, even though you're not doing anything really wrong. Like you go to the grocery store and you're there for like three hours because there was a lot of traffic and like the line was really long. It's like 5 p.m. Everyone's grocery shopping right now.
Starting point is 00:06:35 It takes forever. You get home and your significant other is like, so where the fuck were you? It's never taken me that long to grocery shop. I've been waiting for you for three fucking hours. And you're like, well, listen, I'm sorry. Like, I know it took a long time, but there was a really long line,
Starting point is 00:06:52 and there's a lot of traffic, and you're significant others. Like, then why did you go to that fucking grocery store? Because now I'm wondering where you even were this whole time, where you even at the fucking grocery store? I don't know, like I don't fucking trust you, Jeff. I don't trust you. Okay, you see what I'm saying?
Starting point is 00:07:07 Also, who's Jeff? I don't know. I don't even know anyone named Jeff. Actually, yes I do. I don't know why I said. It's just not true. I know at least five people named Jeff, but you go and I'm saying,
Starting point is 00:07:20 somebody who's argumentative, difficult person, somebody who's a bully, you know, maybe one of your friends in your friend group that you're like Kind of iffy with you're not super close to them, but they're in your friend group So technically your friends and they're always giving you a hard time. They're always kind of bullying you Like you guys are all getting ready for a night to go out and this one friend who's a bully is like, girl, what is that fucking outfit? No, what's that outfit? No, you are not, like, we're not going out with you if you look like that tonight. And like they're kind of kidding, but they're also just bullying you.
Starting point is 00:08:00 Okay, that's a difficult person. And then you also have somebody who has just like a shitty attitude. We're talking about the people who, you don't even know them necessarily, but they just have a shitty attitude, a shitty energy. For example, you're at the grocery store, you're walking through the aisles aimlessly with your shopping cart and you accidentally bump into somebody else's shopping cart. Very lightly, nobody got hurt, nobody even remotely got hurt.
Starting point is 00:08:31 Everyone's fine. It was just a slight bump on the shopping cart. And the person who was shopping cart got bumped into, it's just pissed. Even though it's not a big deal, what, bumping into somebody else's shopping cart, it's just pissed. Even though it's not a big deal, what, bumping into somebody else's shopping cart, that's not a big deal. Just someone with a shitty attitude, and a shitty energy, and whether or not
Starting point is 00:08:56 them being in a shitty mood is valid or not, like we don't know what they're going through, it's still unfortunate to be around, and that makes them difficult. So this is what I consider to be a difficult person. Now let's go back to what I was talking about a few minutes ago. Creating this sort of mental barrier
Starting point is 00:09:21 between you and difficult people. I think of it as being protected by like a protective cloud around you, okay? This is how I visualize it. It's like imagine yourself surrounded by a protective or a protective cloud. And so anytime somebody says something to you, does something to you, whatever. Before you internalize anything that they're doing or saying, you keep it outside
Starting point is 00:09:59 of your mind and body first. Like you put it in like a holding place first. And this applies to positive and negative things, by the way. But I think it's just more relevant with negative things than positive things. It's more important, I would say, with negative things and positive things. So the process goes something like this. Okay. Someone says something to you that is not very nice. Maybe they say, I feel like you really, really need a haircut. Like, your hair just, I don't know, the hairstyle is not working for you. Or someone says, oh, like, I saw your significant other, like talking to that person over there and they're like really getting along really well
Starting point is 00:10:48 It's weird or someone says don't you feel like you need to get a new job? Like I feel like your job now Like I just don't feel like it's a good look for you, you know, I Feel like you should get another job or someone says have you ever thought about going to college for a, you know? I feel like you should get another job, or someone says, have you ever thought about going to college for a few more years? Those last two are mainly applying to family members, being judgmental and stuff, but I don't think like your friend would say that to you. I think that's more of like your grandma or your parents or something. But anyway, you get the point. When somebody says something to you
Starting point is 00:11:26 that is upsetting, that's challenging, that's unnecessary, that's difficult, instead of immediately taking that to heart and taking what they say as fact, you hold it outside of yourself in this protective cloud that's outside of your body and mind, okay? And before you decide what you want to do with it, you analyze it. You analyze who said it. You analyze why they may have said it. You analyze whether or not they're saying that because they're insecure about something themselves and they're projecting some sort of insecurity onto you.
Starting point is 00:12:05 You analyze whether or not they have your best interest at heart, do they really care about you? And is that why they're maybe criticizing you or saying something that's difficult to hear or they're giving you attitude? Like, is there a reason for that that's rooted in your best interest or not? Analyze that.
Starting point is 00:12:30 Analyze what they may be going through on a personal level. Do you know what they're going through right now? Do you know anything about their life right now? Because without that context, it can be really hard to distinguish the root cause of their difficult behavior. Before you internalize things, you should be analyzing first. When I was younger, I didn't do that. I just let everything in to my brain.
Starting point is 00:12:59 Somebody would say something or do something straight to my brain. Now, someone says or does something to me. I hold it in this sort of purgatory of sorts. I analyze it and I decide whether or not I'm going to internalize it, or if I'm just gonna let it go and throw it away. I think that using the word purgatory
Starting point is 00:13:22 explains this sort of concept really well because purgatory in religion is I'll read the definition purgatory in the Roman Catholic religion is a place or state of suffering inhabited by the souls of sinners who are expiating their sins before going to heaven.
Starting point is 00:13:51 Now listen, I know you're probably like Emma, that does not relate to you putting a protective cloud around yourself, protecting you from people saying mean shit. But no, hear me out. The idea of purgatory is that sinners before they go to heaven have to sit in this purgatory and show themselves for who they truly are. They have to admit their sins. They have to apologize for their sins. They have to put it Lay everything out on the table before they can go to heaven Okay now with you in this sort of metaphor your heaven and this sort of protective cloud around you is
Starting point is 00:14:44 purgatory. And people's words and behaviors are the sinners. Does that make sense? Oh my God, am I losing it? Like this is how I think of it in my brain. And I think it's really a powerful sort of visual to have in your head because it allows you to analyze people's words and behaviors
Starting point is 00:15:14 and put them into this purgatory of sorts before you internalize everything. And like, I think having that visual in your head allows you to more easily integrate this tactic into your life. You know what I'm saying? Anyway, let's move on from the metaphor because that kind of that kind of means start to lose my marble. So the problem is there are so many potential factors that could be causing someone to be difficult. It could be that they lack some social awareness and they're not aware that they're being difficult.
Starting point is 00:16:03 You know, they don't even realize it. It could be that they're going through, you know? They don't even realize it. It could be that they're going through something on a personal level. It could be that they have ulterior motives. It could be that they care about your well-being and they don't know how to express that. So they might do it in a way that comes off as difficult. There's so many reasons why somebody could be being difficult. And because of that,
Starting point is 00:16:29 it's unfair to yourself to just immediately ingest that and internalize that. It's not fair to you. And that's why you have to analyze these things and then decide whether or not they're worth taking seriously. Nothing should ever be taken at face value. That's a dangerous thing I would argue, taking what everyone says at face value because there's always things that are below the surface. You know what someone says out loud is just the tip of the iceberg. There's a lot below the surface that could be influencing someone's behavior that has nothing to do
Starting point is 00:17:22 with you and if you forget that then you may find yourself feeling very overwhelmed with the opinions and actions of others. So the main way I deal with difficult people is just this. And I think it's a really powerful thing. But there are more ways that I deal with difficult people. And so let's talk about that now. Okay. Now that I've gotten that difficult one to explain out of the way, we can now talk about easier things to articulate for me because that was challenging for me for some reason. And my brain hurts. Another way I deal with difficult people is, I remain calm, no matter what. No matter if I'm being attacked, no matter if someone is saying something completely out of line,
Starting point is 00:18:22 with every ounce of strength I have, I try to remain calm. Now, are we going to be able to remain calm all the time? No, there are going to be times when we just can't. And that's fine, you know, but as much as I possibly can, I try to remain calm. The reason why I do that is that communication only works when it's done rationally and politely. When someone is yelling at you, you immediately want to rebel against them. Even if what they're saying is true, it's so hard to acknowledge somebody's thought or opinion or belief if they're screaming at you. Whereas if they're coming to you with a rational, cool, common, collected tone, you're like,
Starting point is 00:19:06 yeah, I'm going to give you a chance. I'm going to listen to what you're saying because you're approaching me in a rational way. And I trust that. So I'm going to listen, even when someone's yelling at me, or being aggressive with me, or being rude to me, whatever. I don't stoop to that level, or at least I try not to. I try to remain at a rational polite level because number one, that's being the bigger person. Number two, that gives them the chance to potentially rise to the occasion and stop yelling and stop being aggressive and
Starting point is 00:19:48 argumentative, interrational and difficult. It gives them the chance to rise up to your level and start communicating in a way that's less difficult. It gives them the chance to learn something. If someone starts yelling at you and then you start yelling back, now you've just stooped down to their level. Nobody wins. If somebody starts yelling at you and you are responding
Starting point is 00:20:15 in a way that is respectful and calm and open-minded, even if the other person never rises to the occasion, you remain the other person never rises to the occasion, you remain the bigger person, and that's a really good place to be. But if all things go as planned, they will rise to the occasion, and now you both win. Another thing that I do with difficult people is try to remind myself that it's okay to agree to disagree. This is a lost art in my opinion. I don't know why, I don't know why. There are a lot of scenarios in life where it's okay to agree to disagree. There are some areas where maybe
Starting point is 00:21:00 that isn't the right solution. But I would argue that without the ability on a personal level to agree to disagree with others, you might end up very isolated. Because the truth is that everybody has a different set of morals, values, ideas, opinions. And everybody's on their own journey of discovering what there's are. And everybody's working at a different pace here. We're not all in agreement about everything.
Starting point is 00:21:37 With almost every person I know, I disagree with them about something. With almost everyone I know, we disagree on at least one thing. And with some people, it's things that are much larger. You know, maybe it's a religious belief. Maybe it's a moral belief. I don't know. There are some people I have, I really, really disagree with on things.
Starting point is 00:22:06 In a big way, there are people that I disagree with on a lot of small little things, inconsequential things, like what types of food tastes good, and what way I like to take my coffee, you know? Like I disagree with so many people on things small and huge, but it's important to me that I don't immediately write someone off just because we disagree on something. There may be times where you disagree with somebody about something, and it becomes an issue that maybe ends said relationship.
Starting point is 00:22:47 There might be times when that happens and when that makes sense to happen. But I challenge all of us to really try to agree to disagree with people before we write them off as being a bad match for us, somebody that we can't spend our time with in life, somebody that we can't respect, we can't love, you know? It's a complicated situation that has a lot of nuance and I think saying like, we all need to learn how to agree to disagree 100% of the time.
Starting point is 00:23:24 That's not accurate because there might be times when that doesn't work. But I think a lot of people, and I notice this on the internet a lot, where people cannot agree to disagree on anything, anything, big and small things. And I think sometimes to get through life, you need to know how to do that. An example would be, let's say the person used to next to at work, who you have to see every day, because they are your coworker, and you know, you need to work in order to support yourself, and that is a part of survival, right? Let's say they are one religion. Let's say they're Catholic. And you are Jewish. There are different perspectives in both religions, right? And Jewish people believe one thing about one topic,
Starting point is 00:24:27 Catholic people believe another thing about the same topic, you know what I'm saying? And there are areas where those two religions don't agree. Well, let's say in conversation, sometimes your coworker, who is a different religion than you, brings up a sort of belief that the religion that they follow has in front of you. And you vehemently disagree because you have grown up in this other religion. And you really disagree. You're like, no, like I go to church every Sunday and I know and I believe with every bone in my body that this is not true. You have two options.
Starting point is 00:25:18 You can attack your coworker and cause drama in the workplace by starting to debate this person on their belief, because you don't agree. Or you could wait a second and say, hey, my coworker believing that this is true, that this is fact, right? right, is due to the fact that they've been a part of this religious group their entire life. And they have been told this and taught this their entire life just like how I have been told in taught a different perspective my entire life. Are they a bad person because they don't have the same opinion as me? Not necessarily. Am I any different from them?
Starting point is 00:26:07 Because I've been taught this other perspective my whole life, just like they've been taught this other perspective. And do we know what the truth really is? Not necessarily. And so you can look at it from that perspective and say, you know what, I'm just going to keep to myself. And I'm just gonna mine my own business. This is what somebody else thinks about this topic, due to their background in life,
Starting point is 00:26:35 I'm just gonna leave it be. Or you can say, you know, I actually disagree because Blink, but I also respect your perspective as well. You know, like I disagree, but I still respect your perspective as well. I disagree, but I still respect your perspective, and I'm not asking you to change your perspective, right? It's okay to agree to disagree. And maybe in some scenarios, you might disagree with somebody about something.
Starting point is 00:26:59 And so you say, hey, have you ever looked at it like this? Because this is sort of my belief, and here's why I believe it, and this is sort of my opinion, this is my perspective. And you share that with somebody else because you wanna share something with them that could open their mind to a new possibility. But maybe they say, I don't know, I'm sticking with my guns here,
Starting point is 00:27:24 like I still believe what I believe. It's okay to end a conversation there and say, you know what, we're agreeing to disagree on this. I know a lot of people that get really freaked out and fucking upset when they talk to someone else about something. And at the end of the conversation, they're still in a disagreement. A lot of people look at that conversation as a failure. If they weren't able to convert everyone else
Starting point is 00:27:51 to what they believed in that conversation was a failure, no, that's not true. That's an expectation that will leave you disappointed quite often. Just because somebody doesn't agree with you or somebody has a different opinion as you about something doesn't mean that your opinion is bad necessarily. Doesn't mean that your opinion is wrong. I think a lot of people take it personally when people don't agree with their opinion. It makes them feel insecure and that's honestly why I think a lot of people struggle
Starting point is 00:28:28 with agreeing to disagree, because they feel attacked when somebody doesn't agree with them. It makes them feel weird, they're like, wait, what? But the truth is, is that two people can be right in their own way and disagree. Are there times when you're
Starting point is 00:28:45 going to disagree with somebody because they're doing something morally incorrect, they're believing in something morally incorrect? Absolutely. And with people like that, you know, I would still argue that trying to force them to believe what you believe is still not necessarily the right response. You can share your opinion and try to enlighten them and help them understand why maybe what they believe is morally incorrect or why you don't believe in it. If they're not budging, then you need to walk away. You need to leave it be.
Starting point is 00:29:22 And you need to accept the fact that you might need to agree to disagree with them because they might figure it out at some point, but you gotta just let it be, you know? And maybe that just means, okay, you know what? We can't have conversations about this topic because they're not, they're too far away from me. Like we're not on the same page at all. And like I don't know, and this is a deal breaker for me. This opinion is a deal breaker from me. Like we're not on the same page at all. And like I don't know, and this is a deal breaker for me.
Starting point is 00:29:46 This opinion is a deal breaker for me. So I'm gonna decide right now that I'm not gonna talk to them about this topic anymore. And I'm gonna just accept them for who they are and hope that at some point they figure it out. But I'm just gonna leave them be in mind my own business because the truth is it only causes more harm to try to force other people to agree with you.
Starting point is 00:30:13 Even if they're fucking wrong, even if they're wrong, at a certain point, you just have to let it go. You just have to let it go. And I know in family situations, this can be very interesting because sometimes, you know, there are people in your family that disagree with you on larger topics. And the thing about family is that, you know, you have to be around your family, like with people at work or your friends or your significant other, blah, blah. Those people are much more interchangeable.
Starting point is 00:30:45 You know, you can sort of replace those people, not to be like an asshole, but you know, you can, you don't have to stay with them. You don't have any tie with them other than a verbal and emotional tie, whereas with your family, you're blood related. You know, and you see them every year during the holidays and you can't just throw them out the window.
Starting point is 00:31:07 So this especially applies with family members. When you disagree with a family member, it can be really challenging because you still have to be around them. You can't just say, all right, I don't care, fuck you, I'm out. I'm never talking to you again. You can do that, but it's a lot more challenging.
Starting point is 00:31:29 And in some situations, you may have to learn how to agree to disagree with them, because that's the only way that you can continue to enjoy time with your family. And I do believe that in a lot of scenarios, there is a way that you can coexist with people that have pretty different opinions than you. There are ways that you can coexist.
Starting point is 00:31:58 And I think the greatest way to do that is to acknowledge that you don't agree on a topic and then Not talk about that topic with that person. It's okay to do that, you know like It's okay to say you know what I can't talk about this topic with this person because it causes issues between us and We've already acknowledged that we're just we're never gonna be on the same page about this. So we just need to not talk about it. You know, I have family members where we disagree on certain things.
Starting point is 00:32:30 I just don't talk about it with them. And we're fine. We know that that's an area that's tender and we just don't talk about it. You know, and I know I have that even with friends where we maybe don't see eye to eye on certain things. And so it's like, you know what? We're just not going to talk about that.
Starting point is 00:32:47 But we still love each other. We still care about each other. We still respect each other's opinions. But we just know that we don't go there with each other because it's just, we don't see eye to eye. That's okay. Or if we do talk about it, we acknowledge that, you know, we might not agree with one another,
Starting point is 00:33:03 but we're willing to hear each other out. This is all, I would say, healthy stuff, and important. So my next tip, undealing with difficult people, is to know when it's time to stop a conversation. If you're in the middle of a difficult conversation and you're like, this is not going anywhere. We're not seeing eye to eye. This person is maybe arguing with me, or projecting some sort of internal anger discomfort onto me. And it's obvious that it's not rational or necessary or reasonable or warranted. You know, like it's just coming out of left field.
Starting point is 00:33:51 It's like, what the fuck is going on? Why is this person like being difficult with me? You know, no one is time to stop the conversation and just kind of walk away. You know, there's no reason to feed into an interaction that is difficult just for no reason. Be conscious of the usefulness of the conversation. Are we getting anywhere? Is this useful? And if it's not, walk away. change the subject, put a stop to it because you can. Another thing I do is sometimes when I'm dealing with difficult people, I'll add some
Starting point is 00:34:34 humanity back into the conversation because I think that sometimes people can kind of get on their high horse and forget in a way that you're a human. For example, when somebody's sort of picking on you or trying to shove their opinions down your throat in a way, or trying to argue with you just for the sake of arguing, right? A lot of times when those things are happening, it's rooted in some sort of insecurity or pain or something. And like sometimes people can almost get into a trance and start doing this shit without even really realizing what they're doing, right? But if you add some humanity back into the conversation, you're like, Hey, dude. Like, what the hell's going on? You're
Starting point is 00:35:31 hurting my feelings. Like, you're hurting my feeling. Like, this is like, what do you, like, why are you talking to me like this? Or you could be like, if you're scared of confronting that upfront, you know, you can say something like, Ouch dude, Ouch. Lighten up on me a little bit. Add some humanity back into the conversation by somehow and whatever way you feel necessary. Letting the other person know that they're not being pleasant to interact with.
Starting point is 00:36:02 The way that they're communicating with you is not working. The way that they're communicating with you is not working. The way that they're interacting with you is not working. It's not feeling good. I think sometimes people forget sometimes when they're being difficult, they can forget and they can forget how that might be making you feel. But if you can remind them, that might shake them up a little bit and then they're like, oh shit, okay, I need to like pull back a little bit here because I kind of forgot
Starting point is 00:36:32 that the person I'm talking to has feelings and is a human being and is another human being. So let me step back for a second and be a little bit more reasonable because now that I think about it, I was being a little bit unreasonable. You know, sometimes you just need to shock somebody back into reality by adding some humanity back into the conversation. When somebody's like picking on me or something, I might be like, okay, chill a little bit, you know, I mean, I'll let them know and I'm sometimes subtle about it, but I'll let them know. And sometimes it can subtle about it, but I'll let them know.
Starting point is 00:37:05 And sometimes it can snap them out of it. And it might even teach them something too. Because if you make them aware of the fact that they're being difficult in the moment, and you sort of catch them in the act, there's a good chance that that's going to be a wake-up call for them in some way. Because normally people don't do that. They don't confront in the middle of a difficult situation. They'll either rise to the occasion,
Starting point is 00:37:30 be the better person and not give them the time of day, or they'll stoop to their level and just start fighting back and they'll become difficult as well. You see what I'm saying? So it's not super common for somebody to not only be the bigger person and remain calm, but to also kind of come front. There's a lot of benefit to that.
Starting point is 00:37:53 It's not always possible. It's not always what ends up happening, but it's a great option. And it can really be a powerful thing. And the last thing I do when I'm dealing with someone who's difficult is I'll ask myself, wait a minute, am I being difficult? Is this person being difficult with me because I was actually being difficult with them first?
Starting point is 00:38:22 You know, wait a minute, am I the problem? It's easy to go and look at everyone else and say, why are they being difficult? You know, what's wrong with them? Well, what's wrong with you? There might be something wrong with you. There have been moments, especially like with my parents, you know There have been moments, especially with my parents, because I'm so close with my parents.
Starting point is 00:38:49 And I can be difficult with them. Like, I mean, we're all difficult with our parents. So you know what I'm saying. But I can be difficult with them. Have like a shitty attitude with them, be grumpy, be in a bad mood, be it like pissed off and be taking it out on them. And then they start being difficult with me. And I'm like, why are you being difficult with me? And then they're like, you're being difficult with me.
Starting point is 00:39:15 And then I'm like, oh, true. You know? But I didn't even realize it. I just noticed when they started being difficult with me, I wasn't aware when I was just being difficult in the first place. And so I think it is important to ask yourself when someone's being difficult with you, if you are also being difficult. Are you being stubborn about something? Are you being close-minded about something?
Starting point is 00:39:49 Are you being forceful with other people, making them listen to you, making them agree with you, trying to make them agree with you? Are you being argumentative? Are you being a little bit of a bully? Are you picking on someone? Do you have a shitty energy or attitude? Are you doing those things?
Starting point is 00:40:04 Because when you do those things, that might cause somebody else to then do those things in reaction to you doing them in the first place. So be aware of your own behavior. And don't think that you aren't capable of being difficult yourself because we all are. I'm difficult sometimes. My best friends, my family, my closest relationships
Starting point is 00:40:32 of my life, everybody can be difficult sometimes. It's just important to be aware that it might be you sometimes too. We talked about everyone else being difficult. What about when you're being difficult? Anyway, you guys, that's how I deal with difficult people. Okay, that's how I do it. Let me know what you think. Let me know if you have any different sort of mechanisms when it comes to dealing with difficult people. Tell me what you think. As always, you can tweet me at
Starting point is 00:41:06 AG Podcast or send me a DM or comment on Instagram at anything goes. And that's all I have for today. Thank you guys for writing it out. I really appreciate it. I had so much fun per always. I love you all so much. You are all the best.
Starting point is 00:41:20 And thank you for tuning in every week. And just having fun conversations with me, I really appreciate it, and I enjoy it more than you know. If you wanna check out my coffee company, check out ChamberlainCoffee.com and use code AG15 for a little discount. Right now I'm drinking an iced almond milk latte. I just got a newest Bresso machine,
Starting point is 00:41:44 and I've been seriously banging out crazy lattes. I'm currently using the Chamelain Coffee Butterfly blend, which is a light roast. It's really good. It's so good. Drinking it in a mason jar, you know the drill. The whole nine yards. in jar, you know the drill, the whole nine yards. Well, I guess I'll talk to you next week. Until then, keeping awesome, keeping the best, keeping gorgeous, etc. etc. Okay, I love you all. Talk to you soon. Bye. soon bye!

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