anything goes with emma chamberlain - emotions

Episode Date: April 23, 2020

Emotions, we all have them, and they can be a really tricky thing to navigate. Emma gets sensitive sometimes, as we all do, and she talks through it on this episode like a therapy session. From getting over people who wrong you, to worrying about relationships, letting yourself be vulnerable and opening up, why crying is actually good for us, and a lot more. Plus, Frankie the cat makes a (very short) cameo appearance on the podcast.   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hi guys, welcome back to anything goes. I am in my closet right now with my cat. So if you hear weird sounds, literally she's running around and doing the most annoying things possible. She's just being so loud, she's never loud like this. I thought it would be fun. Like maybe I could record with her sitting on my lap, I could pet her and it'd be really relaxing, but she's kind of ruining my life right now. But she's hallowed cute, so it's cool. Ah, okay, so today we're talking about something that I'm struggling with in the current moment. If you haven't noticed this podcast is therapy for me, probably more than it is useful for you,

it's actually useful for me, which is amazing for me because I need anything I can get. So I've been loving it. You know that already though, I don't have to say it. So today we're gonna be talking about me being a sensitive ass little bitch. That's what we're talking about because the fact that I am so sensitive,

see that was my cat, she just tried to jump up onto a piece of furniture and then she slipped. I might have to kick her out of this room at some point. Anyways, I've been struggling recently with how sensitive I am, more than usual. And I woke up this morning and it was something's bothering me, which I'm not going to get into. Directly. My alarm just went off. I'm having sensory overload. My cat's fucking jumping everywhere.

I'm just trying to get a fucking word out. My alarms are going off from this morning, because I woke up earlier than I thought I would. I'm kicking Frankie out of here. Frankie, I love you so much, but you're getting out of here. I swear to God, there's no element of peace when your mother, it's crazy. Anyway, my over-sensitiveness, if that's a word, like my sensitive side sometimes fucks me over. And, you know, sensitive in my, okay, I'm going to give you a little definition of sensitive

in my, okay, I'm gonna give you a little definition of sensitive in my opinion. I mean, there's an obvious definition, but like what I'm referring to is being sensitive to people's energy, being sensitive in general, like just being very sensitive. Sensitiv's the only word I can use to describe sensitive because there's no other word to use.

Maybe I need to pull out a dictionary. Anyway, and just kind of overthinking things a lot, and like thinking twice about everything, and just like overworking my brain in that way, but also being emotional and all of that, that's kind of what we're gonna be talking about today, because it's kind of biting me in the ass right now, and I bet it bites a lot of you guys in the ass too.

So I want to vent about it, and maybe we can kind of help each other here and learn something. We're calling this the sensitive episode. What's funny about me being as sensitive as I am, is that that's not really something that many people funny about me being as sensitive as I am is that that's not really something that many people know about me because I really don't come off as being super sensitive. Not a lot of people would know that just upon meeting me because I think possibly as a

coping mechanism, I come off very nonchalant and like I don't really care about anything. Even when I really fucking care. Like, I don't know if it's because I'm a Gemini and Gemini's are really good at being two-faced in a sense. But like I just come off like I don't care. And I know that I do that. Like I'm fully aware that I do that. But it is, it's definitely a coping mechanism.

Now that I'm actually thinking about it more, I come off like I don't give a fuck because that makes me less vulnerable which then prevents me from getting inevitably hurt eventually. Although I don't mind coming off like I don't care because there's actually a lot of things I don't care about. So it's like, it's kind of a weird thing,

because it's like, I act like I don't care about anything. And the truth is I do care about a lot of things, but I also don't care about a lot of things. So, and both of them are like very extreme left and right here. Like I mean, I either either really really fucking care about something Or I don't care about it at all like there's no in between I'm very Extreme like that all my feelings are very extreme like I have very extreme emotions Like I'm never like 50 50 on something. I'm always like a hundred or a hundred so

Maybe that's a bad thing. Maybe I should be a little bit more upfront with everybody about the things that I'm sensitive about. Maybe that would prevent me from getting hurt a little bit. I don't know, but for now, I'm just gonna act like I don't care about anything. And the only people that really know that I care about shit are people that are close to me,

and there's like five of them. And you guys actually, because I really open up on here. But I don't know why I do that. To give you a sense of actually how sensitive I am about random shit, because I think that's kind of funny. Let me tell you about the things that make me cry randomly.

Besides the obvious emotional take talks, I've always had this weird sensitivity about gifts. Okay, not giving a receiving gifts myself. None of that. If I'm on Facebook, POV, I'm on Facebook, and I'm scrolling through and I see a video about somebody receiving a really sentimental gift. I start crying. Another thing that makes me start crying,

POV, a grandma, or a mom, or somebody makes a dinner for their entire family. Family doesn't show up. That shit ruins me. That is the one thing that makes me cry the most. Is when somebody puts a lot of effort into something and then they go unnoticed. Oh my God, I'm literally getting choked up right now thinking about it. I have a really hard time with that. I remember I saw this video once of this guy who made banana bread for something and he brought it to work and he left it on the counter and then nobody

ate the banana bread. Like the whole day went by and nobody cut a piece off and he was like watching, waiting for people to take a bite of this banana bread, like take a little piece for themselves and nobody did it and he was so upset. And he was like, what's wrong with my banana bread? That made me literally cry. I remember that video was even kind of a comedy video.

I don't even think he was meant to be like really sad, but I literally almost started crying about it. Like there's something about those situations that make me so emotional. I wish I understood why, but like that shit makes me cry. I fucking cried while watching a Disney movie. The other week, it was like maybe it's probably a month ago now because time's slowing by, I don't even know what day it is.

But I watched the Disney movie onward, and I don't know if I it is. But I watched the Disney movie onward. And I don't know if I've talked about this on here yet, but onward. And I can completely, I'm not going to spoil the movie because I think you guys should watch it. Disney movies can sometimes end so fucked up. This movie, oh my god, I'm literally gonna start crying just thinking about it. The way that this movie ends should fucking be illegal. It is so fucked up, it is so wrong, it is so wrong. It was so not, it was so fucked. I was crying my eyes out, I was at my friend's house. There was like, probably seven of us watching this movie.

I know Emma was seven people at the same time. That's literally unheard of. I was crying in front of literally six other people. Balling my eyes out, not just tearing up, like fully like, because it was so fucked up. Don't watch that movie, but also please watch it because I want to vent about it with somebody. This episode is brought to you by State Farm.

There's no instruction manual when it comes to being an adult. Sometimes I lay awake at night rehashing something I said earlier that day, or I lay in bed at night thinking about what the future holds. I know I'm not the only one going through a lot of what ifs. Like, what if I get into a fender bender? Or what if my home gets broken into? But state farm can help you with some of those big what ifs. They're available to answer your questions day or night.

You can reach them 24-7, file a claim on the state farm mobile app or simply call your agent to ask what's on your mind. Like you good neighbor, state farm is there. Call or go to statefarm.com for a quote today. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is more than a website builder. It's in all in one place to make an online space that's entirely your own. Their all-in-one platform allows you to customize everything from the fonts and color scheme to your domain name. All you have to do is choose from one of their beautifully designed templates as a starting off point.

Then, at whatever you need to show off your ideas to get your side hustle on, you've got all the tools you need to sell products, schedule appointments, and send email campaigns to your mailing list. Plus, everything is optimized for mobile, so it looks just as good on a phone as it does on a desktop. Check out Squarespace.com for more features and inspiration and when you're ready to build your site, use the offer code Emma for 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Anyway, moving on from the mundane shit that makes me cry. I'm going to talk about how my over-sensitiveness affects me socially. So, since I was young, I've always kind of had an issue,

I think my main issue with friendships is the fact that I'm too sensitive in friendships. And it's gotten better, but let's dive into it a little bit. When I was way younger, I was always analyzing how my friends felt about me. Constantly thought my friends were mad at me. Constantly felt like my friends were lying to me. Constantly felt like they didn't want to be around me, and they were just faking being friends with me for whatever reason.

Throughout elementary, middle, high school, always felt like that. And I don't really know why that is. It might have been just insecurity for a bunch of reasons that are not important, but I definitely had reasons to be insecure. In though, I mean, I didn't, but like, in my head, I did. And so I can kind of see possibly how my insecurities led to me questioning all my

friendships. But I also think it was because I was so hypersensitive to how they were behaving around me from such a young age that I couldn't even understand why I was like overanalyzing every single word my friends said and overanalyzing every single action and overanalyzing everything. When actually none of it really mattered and none of it's actually that deep, but when I was younger, I didn't have that life experience to know that like I was over-analysing, and so I just drove myself fucking insane.

And then by the time I got to high school, it got to a point where like I was so hyper-focused on everything that my friends were doing that it was exhausting, and I didn't even wanna hang out that my friends were doing, that it was exhausting and I didn't even want to hang out with my friends anymore. It wasn't even just like trying to figure out whether or not they hated me or if they were mad at me. It actually kind of ended up evolving into me

being super sensitive to their emotions. And I had a lot of friends that were really mean in high school. I had some great friends too who are cool. And some friends that even like maybe they were mean at the time, but probably aren't even mean now. Who knows? But like, there are a lot of mean people in high school that just like, they didn't even mean to be mean, but they were just kind of bitchy.

And like that energy would like drive me insane and make me miserable. Because it was like I was so sensitive to every single thing that they would say and I was so sensitive to every action that they would act, that like it was miserable for me to hang out with anybody at a certain point because it was like if I wasn't overanalyzing them, then their vibe was off and I could feel it and that would make me uncomfortable and I would start to absorb that energy and then I would start to feel miserable

or I would start to be mean and it was like I was absorbing everybody's energies and like it was just too much for me to fucking handle and I so I just ended up cutting off like every high school friend I had because it like, I was just too sensitive to almost have friends, literally. And then I moved L.A. and then it was kinda like the same thing happened all over again. I made a lot of friends and then for different reasons because I'm so sensitive about so many different things, a lot of the friendships I end up cutting off abruptly.

And not saying it's even their faults Because I don't want to blame anybody for anything and I don't want to be an asshole but like Let's kind of focus on me in my part in this. I can't handle when people have an energy that I don't like or When they're wishy-washy with me and like they're not true about how they feel about me, and they're like half-assing the friendship, because that's not how I roll.

And so I absorb that, and then I like, it drives me crazy. I don't really know if that makes sense, but that's why I have like very few friends left, because I like to hang out with people that I feel safe with and that I feel like aren't just gonna turn on me in a second and also that are good people, genuinely because when people are bad people,

I absorb that and I can feel that and that eats at me inside and shit. So that's probably why I don't have a lot of friends. It's just sometimes hanging out with people is more tiring than just being by myself. It's like being around people is like sensory overload for me and it has been since I was younger, which is funny because I still love to be social.

Like I love it, but like more with people that I don't know that well. Because that's like not as much of a responsibility, right? Hanging out with somebody that you're 50, 50 friends with is such, it's so exhausting, because it's like, you don't really know them and well enough to have a good line of communication. You don't really know if you can trust them.

Like, you don't know if they're lying to you. Everything is just so up in the air when you're like half friends with somebody. Whereas going and being social at like a social event like you don't know if they're lying to you. Like everything is just so up in the air when you're like half friends with somebody. Whereas like going and being social at like a social event where you meet somebody and you have a good conversation with them and then you never speak to them again. Like that's amazing because there's just no commitment involved.

It doesn't matter how that conversation goes. You don't have to overthink what you're saying, like whatever. And then with people that you're really close with, it's like you know you don't have anything're really close with, it's like, you know, you don't have anything to worry about. So it's whatever. But for those 50, 50 friends, that shit is so exhausting. And that's why sometimes I don't, my friendships never reach maybe their full potential because I just have to dip out before it can even get there because I just don't even have the patience or the energy to like nurture it to get to the point that

it could be because I'm spending too much of my time overthinking it. Or they just suck. So there's those two options. But yeah, I get tired. I kind of cut my own self off about the whole sensory overload thing hanging out with people that maybe don't get you or you don't know that well. It's like 50, 50 friend, as I said. It's like sensory overload because you're like trying to figure out their energy and like what's going on in their mind.

And then you're also trying to figure out like how they feel about you. And then you're also trying to figure out if you even wanna be friends with this person and then you're trying to figure out, you know how you can like, if you're like me and your people please or how you like, how you can cater to them so that you're being the best friend possible because you're worried about your status with this person and you don't know if, I know I'm like going too deep into it but it's like this is the way that my subconscious

mind works and I'm just putting it into words now, and now it sounds stupid, but like when it's happening in my brain, like it makes complete sense. And the thing is too, is that I immediately know how somebody is feeling. The second that I'm in the same room as them. My friends will tell you this, nobody can hide their emotions from me.

I can read everyone like a book, usually. And so, I know that kind of contradicts what I said earlier because I'm always trying to figure out how somebody's feeling. I know how somebody's feeling, but I don't know why they're feeling the way that they're feeling. Does that make sense? So, like, I always know the way that everyone's feeling immediately. I can tell if somebody's putting a wall up, I can tell. I think I'm just, I don't think I'm fucking psychic. I just think that I'm really, I really, really pay attention to people's body language and that's like a huge thing for me.

I make sure that I am paying attention to people's body language. So that makes me very like, I can see how somebody's feeling immediately when I get in the room with them, even if I don't know them. But I don't know why they're feeling the way that they're feeling. Because I'm so perceptive, if you will, about how people are feeling, it makes me hyper aware of that. And then it makes me question why they're feeling the way that they're feeling. And then because I'm kind of sensitive, I always think that it's my fault. Like, let's say somebody's in a bad mood. I'm like, this is my fault. I always think it's my fault. And it never

fucking is. Actually, it has been a few times, but usually it's not. And I'm just overthinking it. So that is the jumbled explanation of my sensitive mind, okay? It doesn't make any sense. Well, guess what? It doesn't make any sense to me either.

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That's betterhLP.com slash anything. Now let me talk about how this has been affecting me recently. Okay, so I feel like I've just come out of such a pivotal part of my life. Like I moved L.A. I made a bunch of friends and then I've kind of now finally settled with who are my actual people that I vibe with that understand me that Hanging out with them isn't a chore. It's like just natural. There's no effort that needs to be put in It's like very organic no stress Whatever like super just this loyalty and like and trust that's just like whatever.

So I found that now, which is amazing. And that has like, but the point between me trying to figure out who my people were and also trying to get settled in LA and now, like there was, I don't know when the point exactly was. I think it was recently, to be honest, where I went from just kind of having constant uncertainty about who my friends were, who my people were, who I can trust, feeling safe and secure in LA and feeling comfortable here. I didn't have any of that stability up until recently. I literally within the past probably two months,

to be honest. But now I'm in an interesting spot because everything in my life right now is good. I trust everybody. I feel really good about all the relationships I have and everything's great. But the problem is that I can't stop putting myself out there. Like just because I have a really great group of friends,

I can't just isolate myself and stop trying, right? Like I still need to be trying to meet new people and trying to expand my circle because at the end of the day, like life is about surrounding yourself with as many good people as you can and enjoying people's company. That's what I feel like. That's when I get the most joy

is being around people that I love and feel safe around and whatever. But I need to do that. I need to be open-minded and I need to let some people in a little bit and take a little bit of some risk. But it's so scary for me because I have been fucked over a little bit sometimes in the past because I've been so sensitive. I think it's affected me a little bit more, maybe a little bit longer, who knows.

But because I've been fucked over so many different random times in so many different random ways, now every time I go into a new friendship or a new relationship, even whatever, I cannot let go of what other people have done to me. And I cannot, I've not figured out how to understand that like every single human being is different. In me talking to a new human being, whether it's a friend, a fucking boy, I don't know, I don't care. A fucking coworker for fuck's sake, I don't care. Like, I don't know how to not carry my hurt from my past relationships

and friendships. Relationships is broad, not like dating strictly. I'm talking about all relationships, every single type. I don't know how to not bring that past upset into new shit. I don't know how to let go of it. Like, I hold on to it. Like, I woke up this morning and I literally go downstairs, my mom's visiting me right now. And I was literally like, I cannot get over this one thing

that somebody did to me. There's this one thing that somebody did to me that I just cannot get over. And I was like, and it's making me hold back in potential friendships that I could be making right now because of something that that one person did. And they are their own person. Who knows, they could have learned from what they did.

I don't know, they could have like, you know, I don't care, it doesn't matter. I still am like traumatized from that. And I don't know how to let go of it. So I hope that some of you guys are on the same, I mean, I don't, because this is shitty. It's almost like kind of having, I think this is what the Twitter stands called trust issues.

Okay. I think I kind of have a little bit of trust issues and I don't know if it's because I'm really sensitive and so I hold on to these things more because I take everything a little bit more to heart than I should. Like there's just no reason for me to be taking things to heart like I do

and to be making everything such a personal attack on me. Like there's no reason for me to be behaving like that, but I do. And so I wanna try to work through this together. Maybe we can give ourselves some homework and figure out how we can get through this shit because I don't know how to not hold on to the past. What the fuck? I can't believe I'm talking.

I don't even think I've like worked through this shit with actually another human being. And now I'm talking into a microphone by myself in my closet about this. Like, this is literally something that people talk about to their therapist, and I am literally putting it on the internet, and I don't know if that's a bad thing. I don't think it is. I like it.

I don't know why I like it, but I think I like it because it's almost like less confrontational. I can talk about my problems, and then if I wanna go read what people are saying about it, I can, but it's like up to me. It's like when you're in the room with a therapist, you're talking about shit

and you're immediately getting a response. I don't know if I like that. I mean, I should like it. I probably should get a therapist, but I don't really bad, this is off topic, but why not? I had a really bad experience with therapy as a child. I'll talk about it, why not? This is why I use this podcast,

and I don't go to therapy. So when I was probably around 11, my parents were divorced. They'd been divorced for a few years at that point. My parents were starting to date a little bit, and so I was really having a hard time with that, and so my parents were like, you should go to therapy. And obviously me being 11, I was like, fuck no,

but then I didn't really have a choice because I was 11 and I didn't know it was best for me. And so my parents were like, let's try therapy for her because she's struggling a little bit. So they sent me to therapy and I fucking hated it. I hated it. I had to leave school every Tuesday at around noon and I had to go to therapy. And I really didn't like my therapist. She just was such a bitch to me and I felt like she was

she wasn't a bitch, but like she didn't mean to be a bitch. I don't think, but like in my 11 year old mind, I thought she was such a bitch. And I was like, I felt like the way that she was communicating with me. She was talking to me like I was a little bitch. And I was like, I felt like the way that she was communicating with me, she was talking to me like I was a little baby. And I would literally, I just would sit, she had this little sandbox that was like with the magic sand and I would sit there and I would play with the sand

and she would ask me questions and I would not respond to her the entire session. And then I would, after my mom would pick me up and I'd say, mom, can you give me a bagel? And she would say, yeah, let's go to get a bagel. And then we'd get a bagel for me and then I'd go back to school. And it was miserable though.

I hated it. I hated going to therapy. It was like, I was such a chore and I just was not ready to like talk about my problems yet. And like I felt like I was being forced and it was just so awful and it was so traumatizing and I remember one time I went to Ireland with my mom during this time. And my mom, my mom and I were going to extend our trip. And I was like, can we please extend the trip? I don't want to go back yet. But I was like, why do you want to go back? And I was like, please, I don't want to go back.

And I start crying. She's like, what's wrong? And I was like, I don't ever want to go to that therapist again. Can we please stop? Please don't ever make me go there again. And I was so upset and traumatized. And I can't really understand now why I was so upset and traumatized by it. But like, like, I don't know. I'm not in my 11 year old body. I don't remember exactly what was so bad about it. And to be honest, I think I blocked most of it out of my head. But all I know is that therapy has this like, really, really toxic, gross feeling.

It makes me feel this weird feeling in my chest. And so I just haven't been able to get myself to go since. But I have talked to a few energy readers over the phone when I've gone through some really, really tough times within the past two years. There's like these energy readers that you can call, they're like therapists, they're not like psychics or anything, they're just like people that try

to read your energy and like help you, they're basically a therapist, put over the phone, and I've called this one woman a few times, and she's helped, she helped me a lot, so maybe I should get a therapist, or maybe I can just call the energy reader at my disposal. Anyway, why, why, this is crazy. I'm kind of shocking myself with how open I'm being. Like, I don't know how I can just talk about this shit and put it on the internet and not be like, hey, Emma, maybe this is personal, but I don't care.

I don't feel like it is. I feel like this is like what's wrong with talking about it. I'm having an internal battle about it. Like, would this make people uncomfortable? See, this is me being fucking overly sensitive. Wondering, like, are people this make people uncomfortable? See, this is me being fucking overly sensitive, wondering like, are people gonna get uncomfortable while listening to this? Because I'm kind of just word vomiting

and talking about my feelings. Like, do people even wanna hear that? This is my sensitive side coming out. And nobody wants to hear it. She's not really fun to be around. All right, before I talk about how I can improve and how we can all improve on our over sensibility and sensitive ability, sensitiveness. I thought we could answer some questions about being

sensitive. Somebody asked me what's the stupidest thing you've cried over, probably the onward movie, the Disney movie, that was stupid. But then again, that plot was pretty fucking sad, so I don't really blame myself. God, what's the stupid thing I cried over? Let me thank for a second. I really need to think about this because there's probably a funny answer. You know what's happened before?

I don't have a specific example, but like, you know when you stub your toe really hard and you're alone and it just pisses you off, I've cried multiple times from shit like stomping my toe because it's like sometimes it just hits different and like sometimes it just hits home and it just it just sends you over the edge it just sends you pushes you over the edge. So that's something stupid I've cried about moving on. Somebody asked how can I open up to people without crying every time I try to? I don't know how to control my emotions.

This is actually an interesting one because I used to be like this where, and I still am, actually, when I'm talking about things that are like, if somebody asked me what's wrong and it's something that's really, really emotional for me, I'll definitely burst out crying. I mean, usually for me what happens is at first I'm like doing completely fine.

And then like something gets said and then I just lose it. Like I'm not like somebody who like slowly starts crying. It's like I seem fine and then I'm like bawling my eyes out and there's like no in between. I feel like I'm usually pretty good about not crying under pressure. Honestly, practice, like literally from practice, but I don't think you need to not like stop yourself from crying. I don't think that you need to hold back. Crying is human. Okay. Personally, I love when people feel comfortable enough to cry in front of me. I never get uncomfortable. It never makes me feel weird. If somebody's going through something

and they start crying in front of me, I'm not happy that they're crying because obviously that's sad. And I don't want anybody to be crying because that fucking blows. But I like knowing that somebody can release that feeling around me and feel safe to do so. I don't want people to hold back their emotions around me.

Like, I like when people fully are up front and like, let go around me because I'm so sensitive, in a sense, that is something I can connect with. And that's something that, like, I can see for what it is. Like, I see if somebody's just acting weird and being rude because they're upset about something and they're not telling me what's wrong, that upsets me.

Somebody can sit down and start crying and be like, this is what's going on. I would love advice or I just want to vent. Like what do you, you know, thoughts or whatever? I'm, I love that because I love That they feel comfortable. Sorry. I just like threw up in my mouth a little bit now it's burning my throat And I keep swallowing to try to get the acid out of my throat. So Anyway, um it hurts

So happens when you drink coffee on an empty stomach Anyway, I don't think you need to hold back. I Think you should just let it let it out think you need to hold back. I think you should just let it out. If you need to cry, you cry. Crying releases, crying is not pointless, okay? Crying isn't just like our body's way of just like being dramatic. It's like crying literally releases something.

I think crying releases in Dorfins. Give me a moment while I Google this. Okay, would you look at that? I just Googled it and it says crying for long periods Something I think crying releases endorphins give me a moment while I Google this Okay, would you look at that? I just Googled it and it says crying for long periods of time releases oxytocin and endogenous opi oids otherwise known as endorphins These feel good chemicals can help ease both physical and emotional pain once the endorphins are released your body body may go into a numb stage. Totally true. I'm actually going to read some of the benefits of crying because I feel like people forget how important crying is and that you shouldn't ever not allow yourself to cry.

It detoxifies the body, it helps self-south yourself, it dulls pain, it improves your mood, it rallies support, I guess, like it makes people come to you and help support you. Helps you recover from grief, it restores emotional balance, helps a baby breathe. Okay, well, we're not babies. I don't think babies are listening to this podcast. Moral story is crying is good, let it lose.

Okay, next is thoughts on how people in Validate being sensitive, saying stuff like you don't need to cry over that, it's not a big deal, et cetera. As if we have any choice over what we get upset about, amazing point. If there's anybody in your life that's invalidating any emotion that you have, they're not a good person. If it's like your family, I feel like family dynamics are different because like, you have, they're not a good person. If it's like your family, I feel like family dynamics are different because like, you know,

I feel like we're a little bit less sensitive with our family members sometimes. Especially I've noticed that with siblings, I don't have siblings, but I've seen other siblings like be really insensitive with one another and I don't think that that is, that, let's exclude that because I feel like family is a different situation because there's like this element of like because I feel like family is a different situation because there's this element of comfortableness

and it's just different. I don't really understand siblings, so I don't wanna touch on family invalidation, okay? But when it comes to friendship, if somebody's constantly invalidating your feelings, there are so many bad things about that. I've had, actually, oh my god, I have a specific, yep, I had a friend in my life that constantly did this a long time ago, like long time ago, like

I'm talking years. And like, it made me really insecure and like feel really bad about myself. And it was really, really toxic. And I'm so glad that they're not in my life anymore because the friends that I have now are like so fucking cool about in my family as well, about like making me feel heard and making my emotions like, you know, validating my emotions. And like that makes you feel so much better about yourself

and somebody's invalidating like you crying. That's like the worst thing you could do to somebody. And if you do that, you work on that because that's not a good friend thing to do. If somebody's doing that to you in your life, distance yourself from that person, or just don't open up to them as much because you don't need that. I would cut them off, but that's, I tend to just kind of be harsh about things. And I'm like, cut them off because I don't like to waste my time. You have one fucking life, you have one life.

Why the fuck would I be around people that are shitty? I don't waste a damn minute. Period. If somebody sucks, I'm not wasting another minute. If they've just proved time and time again to be an asshole, I am over it. I don't waste any more time. And that might make me seem impulsive

But I've never regretted it. Sorry, that was passionate. I don't know what happened to me Somebody asked how to not cry when somebody raises their voice at you This actually took me a really long time to learn because I used to totally cry every time Somebody would raise their voice at me and like I mean up until I was probably like 13 maybe. But I think that I ended up figuring out so consciously that like yelling is just, it's just a different tone of voice.

Okay, like I know that that's obvious. But like, if somebody's yelling at you, you just need to take a deep breath, listen to what they're saying, and don't let the words stab you in the heart. Like I used to let every word, every person said stab me in the heart, but you have to sit back at an arm distance length and like fucking not literally, but like metaphorically, like, you know, kind of separate yourself from what they're saying for a second. Don't be insensitive, but kind of shut down your sense, try to shut down your sensitive walls for a second and try to just be numb about it

while they're screaming at you. That's what I do. And then I absorb what they say. And then I respond to them in a very relaxed tone. I never yell back rarely unless it's to my mom, she's the only one I yell at, and she yells at me, it's beautiful what we have. But it's like, because she's my fucking mom, like whatever. But I never yell at anybody back.

I just talk in a very, I make them feel a little bit stupid for screaming at me by being very level-headed. And then usually the screaming stops and then everything's fine. It's like you just have to get through that initial yelling and then you're good. So just try to be as level-headed as possible, or at least come off as level-headed as you can. Somebody said, when my mom and my period of cry about everything does the same thing happen to you of course I'll catch myself crying about like really dumb shit and then I will Go pee and then I'm like oh

God it Got it although I've had my period for two weeks this month. Sorry To all the boys that are listening, but I've literally had my period for two weeks. It will not go away at least I know I mean it's better than being listening, but I've literally had my period for two weeks. It will not go away. At least I know, I mean, it's better than being pregnant, but it's still taking a toll on me. I've been very tired. Somebody said, what's your favorite thing to do when you're feeling overwhelmed by your emotions?

This is actually a good question, is that only good touch on this at all? I mean, a little bit, but if I'm feeling like very emotional and just kind of unstable, I will do one of two things. Number one, isolate myself a little bit. Go home, be by myself. Listen to some music, sing it out.

That helps a lot. Just kind of listening to music that makes you feel good. Like, for me, my feel good music. How, my fucking tailbone. Oh, okay. Sorry, I'm like, I've been sitting on the hardwood floor for 50 minutes, so my tailbone is killing me. Now I'm laying on the ground. And that also kind of hurts, but whatever. Some of my feel good music when I'm like kind of emotional number one. I mean, obviously like all of my monthly playlists that I make on Spotify. I need to update them though because I haven't updated them in a while, but I make a pot or I make a playlist every month.

And I'll listen to one of those playlists. I also like listening to Paul McCartney and wings cannot explain it. That's Paul McCartney's band that he made after the Beatles. His songs with that band, put me in a good mood. I cannot explain it. I was talking about my dad the other day. It's a conspiracy. Like, I'll read the song titles to you.

So you can listen to them because there's something about them that just literally turn my mood around. Like, I can't explain it, but they're just so uplifting. And I've been listening to them since I was really young. I remember the first song I memorized all the lyrics too was Band On The Run by Wings. Okay, if you're in a bad mood, you need to listen to. Oh, you can also, the Smiths is also a good song or a good brand to listen to because they have just set up lifting songs.

Actually, just go listen to my fucking oldies playlist on Spotify. Anyway, band on the run, listen to what the man said and silly love songs by wings. Those songs will turn your mood around. Period, they will fucking change your view. So anyways, sing to those songs and dance around and enjoy yourself. Or if you have somebody that you really love and trust that you don't have to put like emotional effort into having a relationship with them, like maybe it's a parent, maybe it's like your best friend, call them and talk it out. That helps a lot too.

Last question I'm gonna answer, when's the time being sensitive helped you. I think it's helped me be a better friend, a lot of times. And I think it's made me a better listener and a better advice giver, which is gonna be really nice when I like have children one day, five kids, because I'm gonna be able to give them advice because I feel like I've been over-analysing everything my whole life

and it's made me better at giving advice. That is the Probably the one pro of it all is that I can in my opinion give decent advice and I don't know if I'm tuning my own horn and maybe I'm just talking shit over here, but yeah Now let's talk about how a sensitive people can work on it. What I'm gonna do is my homework assignment for myself is that I'm not gonna take my past kind of trauma

and upset from friendships and relationships into my new friendships and relationships. I'm not going to assume that what somebody else did to me is what somebody else is gonna do to me. Does that make sense? I'm not gonna bring that energy into my new friendships and relationships moving forward. Because everybody is different and you just never know.

You just have no idea and it's not fair to the new people that you meet to be putting that label in a sense on them or like not label, but like to be putting that judgment on new people when you have no idea what they're like. I wouldn't want somebody else to be like, if somebody, let's say somebody was gonna be like wanted to be friends with me, like we were starting friendship. But then they kind of stopped talking to me a little bit or maybe they just stopped talking to me all together.

And I was like, what the fuck? And then the reason why was because they were too traumatized by their past friendships and they just didn't want to make a new friend. I would be really sad because I'd be like, I would approve them wrong. You know what I mean? So let people prove me wrong.

And if they don't prove me wrong then, fuck. So that's my homework assignment. You guys give yourself a little homework assignment. In any way, it doesn't even need to relate to this podcast. Just try to do, make a goal for yourself like that. I think that's really important. And yeah, that's enough on being sensitive. I have no idea if any of that made sense.

I cannot wait to listen to this back and be like, Emma, you are so, you're such a mess. You're such a mess right now, you are a fucking mess. But I'm not gonna lie. Being locked inside for the past month and a half or whatever has kind of made me a little bit crazy. Like I'm kind of losing my marbles and I'm overthinking things a lot more than normal.

And my mind is like analyzing things a lot harder than normal because I have nothing better to do. And I think my brain tends to like go there when I have nothing better to do. So like I've my brain's been a little bit messed up recently. Like it's been a little bit crazy recently. Like you can ask my friends and my mom, I'm like over thinking everything and crazy. Like, over thinking the most random shit. Like, even my friend, actually I had this conversation with my friend Olivia today, like, or yesterday.

Like, she didn't respond to my text. Like, so yesterday, I was like, I texted her. She didn't respond for like four hours. And I was like, I texted her. She didn't respond for like four hours. And I was like, that is so unlike Olivia. Is she okay? Started to think she was dead, or she was pissed at me for some reason. And it freaked me out. I almost like semi-self into a fucking panic attack over it. And I was like, and then she texted me back. And I was like, I just fully freaked out that you didn't respond to me. Like, I don't know why.

And she was like, dude, the other day you didn't respond to me in the morning. And I did the same thing. She was like, I freaked out. I thought you were mad at me. And I was like, why are we doing this? Like me and Olivia, like in my friend Amanda too, like we all don't get weird about shit like that.

Like it's never like that. But because we're locked inside and we have so much time on our hands to let our minds roam, we're getting all weird and paranoid about stuff. Like in ways we never do, because we're just, we have nothing, our brains have nothing else to do.

Our brains are so not stimulated that we're like almost creating issues that aren't there to entertain our own brain. That's what I think. Bizarre, anyway. That's what I think, bizarre. Anyway, that's enough of me talking. I think we're all sick of me talking. I'm not gonna talk for the rest of the day.

I never wanna hear my voice again. I love you all. I hope you're all keeping it real. And I can't wait to talk to you guys again next week. Don't forget to tweet questions to me at AG Podcasts on Twitter. You can also request topics that you want me to talk about. I'm kind of running out. Not really, but it's like because I'm not doing anything in the real world because we're locked in home. I don't have any funny stories. So yeah, I'm gonna go play some Fortnite and maybe go like start an argument with my mom because I'm bored, so fuck, yeah, it's about it.

Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to Anything Goes on Apple Podcast, Spotify, wherever else you hear podcasts. And that's all she wrote. I love you all, have the best day. Mwah. I'll show you what I love you all. Have the best day.

Mwah.