anything goes with emma chamberlain - having a sleepover with owen thiele (rated R) [video]

Episode Date: August 29, 2024

hey guys, my best friend owen thiele - comedian, actor, and now podcast host - is back on the show. we’re having a "sleepover," where we're gonna play a pretty explicit game of "would you rathe...r" and "never have i ever." also, keep an eye out for owen’s new podcast “in your dreams,” coming soon Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hi baby! Hi, I can't believe it. Okay, wait, what's going on? What's going on? Okay, um, you do? Tell me now. No, and you, do you have any? I don't have any, do you?
Starting point is 00:00:08 No, nothing. All I know is maybe, and- But did we find anything out about the guy, the girl? Nothing, I don't think anything's happening there. Cut that. Yeah, cut that. Well, all this stuff we were saying before, it started recording like crazy stuff, like drama.
Starting point is 00:00:22 I want people to guess what we were saying. Yeah, guess what our gossip was. DM us. That's DM us what you think. Not me, DM Emma what you think. DM Owen too, blow up Owen's DMs, also flirt with him. Well, send me dick pics. This episode is brought to you by Airbnb.
Starting point is 00:00:37 One of my favorite trips is a trip to Palm Springs with my friends. You know, I don't live very far away from Palm Springs. It's a short two hour drive away. But what made it so special was our Airbnb. It was just a little weekend trip, but getting to stay all together in one house made it particularly memorable.
Starting point is 00:00:59 It was the perfect balance of privacy and community. And we were able to sort of live normally. Cook dinner, watch TV, we all hung out by the pool together. Airbnb also has something called guest favorites. All of the most loved homes on Airbnb based on reviews and reliability and are rated above 4.9 stars on average. I've used this many times when booking Airbnbs because it sorts it through to the best. I am very much looking forward to my next Airbnb trip. I'll let you know where I go.
Starting point is 00:01:30 I'm going back to university for $0 delivery fee, up to 5% off orders and 5% Uber cashback on rides. Not whatever you think university is for. Get Uber One for students. With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student. Join for just $4.99 a month. Savings may vary. Eligibility and member terms apply. It's me and Owen. Hi, guys. Owen is my best fucking friend. Do you mean that?
Starting point is 00:01:51 In the whole world. I mean, you and Jared, because I think Jared would stab me with a really, really rusty, rusty, rusty, rusty knife. A rusty sewing needle. Like a sewing, so true, because he's my stylist. Owen is my best friend, comedian, actor, writer, genius. And now, okay. Podcast host. Okay. Podcaster. Can you tell us about that? No, I know, but it's amazing because it's like, I don't know, just like to have a podcaster friend. Like this is amazing. And now we can just combine podcasts. No, it's going to be amazing. We're just going to constantly a podcaster friend. Like this is amazing. Totally. And now we can just combine podcasts.
Starting point is 00:02:25 No, it's gonna be amazing. And make them one. We're just gonna constantly collab. Of course. Can I hear a little bit about your podcast? My podcast takes place at, I'm gonna record at like 3 a.m. I don't sleep famously.
Starting point is 00:02:37 We know that. I know that about Owen. I sleep from like 3.30 a.m. until 5 a.m. every night. I sleep like an hour and a half to two hours a night, which is so dangerous. And anybody who can help mem. every night. I sleep like an hour and a half to two hours a night, which is so dangerous, and anybody who can help me should. Yeah, if you're a dodger listening, just like let him know.
Starting point is 00:02:50 No, yeah, let me know. Write him a prescription, all good. Actually, don't now, because now the show, the theme of it is that Owen doesn't sleep. Totally, so in a year. And he's recording podcasts at 3 a.m. So like, yeah, start looking into
Starting point is 00:03:00 what would be good for him, but don't give it to him. Yeah, don't give it to me now. And it takes place when I'm delusional at that time. And I think all of us at that time, if we're fortunate enough to be up, we're a little loopy and we're dreaming and we're also thinking of ways to improve our life
Starting point is 00:03:23 and also we're spiraling. there's like so many mixed emotions. It's a mess. And I think for me in this podcast, I have always dreamt of being an actor and being a writer and manifesting my dreams. And I think the time that I do it most is at 3 a.m.? Is it this horrible time when I'm spiraling and nervous and anxious, and I'm like,
Starting point is 00:03:41 how am I gonna do this? Of course. So that is kind of what I'm talking about. Well now you're doing that late at night with a friend and that friend is your audience babe. Or you. Or me because I'm coming on the show. We're doing an old-fashioned, we're doing like an old-fashioned collab. We are.
Starting point is 00:04:00 Where I go on your show, you go on my show. It's like a YouTube collab. It's amazing. It's amazing, so go listen to that. It's like Hannah Montana X Sweet Life of Zack and Cody. It's the Sweet Life of Hannah Montana. Exactly like that. Sorry, guys. It's so similar to that, that if you were to put them next week,
Starting point is 00:04:16 they'd be like, I can't tell the difference. 100%. Well, with us, it's like Raven. I'm Raven. Yes. We're the only black person on Disney. Wait, who am I? Cole Sprouse. You are Cole Sprouse. I knew it. Yes, wait, who am I? You're the only black person on Disney. Wait, who am I, who am I? You are Cole Sprouse.
Starting point is 00:04:27 I knew it, I knew it. No, you're not. Oh. Oh, fuck, this is hard. Wait, I guess I'm Miley Cyrus. Yeah, totally. Okay. 100%, you are. Obviously.
Starting point is 00:04:37 You're Hannah Montana. Okay, amazing. But you're Miley in Hannah Montana. You're Miley Stewart. True. That's true. I've not really tapped into my Hannah yet. Totally. This is not so Miley Stewart. That's true. I've not really tapped into my Hannah yet. Totally. This is not so Miley Stewart.
Starting point is 00:04:46 So true. Sorry with us. Wait. Sorry with us. Anyway, do you want to play a game? I need to play a game. I'm just really impressed by this water. It's delicious.
Starting point is 00:04:57 I'm loving this water. It's like, you know me, I can't drink water. Yeah. I can't drink normal water. Well, but this water for some reason you're loving. Let me tell you something. It goes down the gullet. Easy, easy, easy.
Starting point is 00:05:08 Like freaking like snail. It's like escargot. I don't like that, but I just mean like it would, you know what, like envision an escargot going down the throat. Gliding. Gliding, gliding. So this is what it's like.
Starting point is 00:05:21 It's gliding. I wish you could taste this. Wait, okay. Here, taste this. It's delish. For wish you could taste this. Wait, okay. Here taste this. Yeah. It's delish. So I for those of you who are just listening Owen is talking about literally just a glass of water that he's drinking. Oh, I forgot this is a podcast. Hey guys. Hi you guys. Wow, it does kind of glide glide glide down the roof. It glides. I think it's the straw. Mmm. Hey guys, so it's Chamberlain Coffee straw. It's a Chamberlain Coffee tumbler. We go into an ad. Um wall tumbler. And it just makes that water glide, glide, glide.
Starting point is 00:05:47 It glides. Go pick it up on freaking line. Tell me about the game. So here's what we're gonna do. What? Listen, it's like we're having a sleepover right now. We're in our pajamas. I love that.
Starting point is 00:05:57 You know what I mean? We're comfy. We're feeling really cute. My favorite thing. Honestly, it was just an excuse for us both to not get dressed up. 100%. Like I called you with this whole idea like, no, we're gonna pretend we're having a pajama party.
Starting point is 00:06:08 And like that's why that's the theme of the episode. And that's why we're gonna wear pajamas. Honestly, I think I just wanted to wear pajamas. Yeah, it wasn't for anything but you or me. It was actually me too. It was actually about us. We just want to wear pajamas. So we're gonna play sleepover games that are fun.
Starting point is 00:06:23 And there's two games. Well, can we just talk about this really fast before we do this? I haven't seen, wait, I haven't. So we're gonna play sleepover games that are fun. And there's two games. Well, can we just talk about this really fast before we do this? I haven't seen, wait, I haven't, no, we've had a sleepover. We've had sleepovers. Haven't we? Oh my god, yeah, but only on like trips. Like never at like my house. We should do that more.
Starting point is 00:06:38 And you should sleep in like, in my bed. Didn't we sleep in the same bed at Coachella? We did have a sleepover at Coachella. Okay, we've had sleepovers. I lied. And you slept in the same bed at Coachella? We did have a sleepover at Coachella. Okay, we've had sleepovers. I lied. And you slept in my apartment. Oh, I was super fucked up, yes. Very drunk, very drunk. Well, you had to sleepover because this was not good.
Starting point is 00:06:53 No, I was very drunk. Well, we stayed out very late. And I was very drunk. I have to tell the podcast this, but you can cut this. Emma had a little bit, basically like one month phase of being like, I'm summer, it's summer, I'm young, let's go out. So she was like, Owen, I'm taking you with me, we're going out, we're having fun.
Starting point is 00:07:09 And there were like four nights in a row where we stayed out until 5 a.m. And we literally the fourth night, we looked at each other and we said, well, just never again, ever. Like literally like, no, no, not even dinner. We get like, we just can't, we have to stay home. Like everything has to happen in our home dinner. We get like, we just can't, we have to stay home.
Starting point is 00:07:25 Like everything has to happen in our home now. We can't even venture out. No, we really scarred ourselves. Yeah. But it was like, for me, Hot Girl Summer. Yeah, that week was great. That week of Hot Girl Summer was so hot. I had like crushes on six boys,
Starting point is 00:07:41 never hooked up with any of them. It was amazing. It was the best time of my life. And they were really, they were fleeting. And they were fleeting. It was amazing. It was the best time of my life. They were fleeting. It was fast, it was one minute, it was like, whoa, love him, and then actually kind of done with him. Wait, next one, new one, new one, new one.
Starting point is 00:07:52 It was like one of those restaurants, like the sushi restaurants where they bring sushi around and like on the boat and it comes around. What is that thing called? I don't know. How would I know what that's called? Like it's almost like a Lazy Susan. Yeah, okay. But it I know what that's called? Um, like it's almost like a Lazy Susan. Yeah, okay.
Starting point is 00:08:05 But it's not. It's called... A rotisserie. Well, what it's called is a rotisserie chicken. So we've now figured it out. We've now figured that out. No, but um, I don't know why I was bringing that up. No, it was sort of like... It was kind of like a Lazy Susan of boys for that week.
Starting point is 00:08:21 Yeah, it was a Lazy Susan. But it was only for crushes. Like I didn't really hook up with anyone. 100%. 100%. But it was only for crushes. Like I didn't really hook up with anyone. 100%. 100%. Super lazy. But why was I saying that? Um, oh because that was, that week, I, or, okay, it was like a month.
Starting point is 00:08:33 That month. It was like a month. I had to sleep over sometimes. So Emma used to, Emma and I had this month and then, obviously I've seen you since then, obviously, because we, but I haven't seen you in a month. Like it's been a while since I've seen you. So now we need to have this sleepover ultimately. That's what I'm saying.
Starting point is 00:08:50 Like I literally... I don't know you anymore. It's really weird when you don't see your BFF. It's so weird. For a really long time. It's really weird. And then you're like, I feel kind of nervous around you. Would you call me your best friend?
Starting point is 00:09:03 Always. I call you my best friend. Everyone. I thought you were going to say I call me your best friend? Always, I call you my best friend, everyone. I thought you were gonna say, I call everyone my best friend. You were like, of course, I call everyone my best friend. I'm like, well that actually goes against my point. Literally, I always call you and Jared my best friends, and then I'm like, this is so, what if like? I call you my best friend.
Starting point is 00:09:22 I was like, what if they don't say that about me? I call you my best friend. Okay, good. But I actually call you my best friend. I was like what if they don't say that about me? I call you my best friend. Okay, good. I I I call but I actually call everyone No joking, that's so I don't but I call you my best friend But you know what like I I know that we have a soul bond totally soul that's gonna act No, we actually that is just different. So like I know We do. You're my brother. Well, we're related. You're my sister. We're related. We're not only children because we have each other.
Starting point is 00:09:49 That's actually very true. Prior to each other, we were only children. Now we're sibling-coded. Do you feel like a sibling with me? Yeah. Cause I feel like you like tell me, like you'll. Well, I'll tell you how it is. You tell me how it is, but so does Jared now too.
Starting point is 00:10:01 Jared does too. He didn't use to? No. Oh, I tell you how it is. I always have, you know that. Both of you will tell me how it is, but so does Jared now. Jared does too. He didn't use to? No. Oh, I tell you how it is. I always have, you know that. Both the people tell me how it is, even if it like kind of hurts my feelings. But not even like in like a mean way,
Starting point is 00:10:12 but hurts my feelings. Cause it's like, oh, I didn't want to hear that. Well, but like, but then I'm always glad. I also think you secretly come to me with something because you're like, he's going to tell me how it is. And I know I need to hear it. Yes. Cause you wouldn't come to me.
Starting point is 00:10:24 So you're like, hey, Owen, just want to is and I know I need to hear it? Yes. Because you wouldn't come to me. So you're like, hey Owen, just wanna float this by you. Is this a bad idea? And I'm like, hey Emma, yeah, worst idea yet. I'm like, absolutely horrible. Meanwhile, everyone else has been like, Emma, you are a fucking genius. You're a visionary, you're a genius, you're so smart, smart, smart.
Starting point is 00:10:42 You're like, jump off the building, Emma, do it. You're gonna look so pretty when you jump, just jump in. It's for a pic. It's for a pic, you're so smart, smart, smart. You're like jump off the building, I'm gonna do it. You're gonna look so pretty when you jump, just jump in. It's for a pic. It's for a pic, it's for grid. It's gonna be fucking huge, your engagement's gonna be up, go. And then I go to Owen and Owen's like,
Starting point is 00:10:55 Emma, we're not doing that. 100%. And you know, do I always listen? No. Depends, depends, no. I mean, with like a building thing you would listen. Like for big things you listen. For small things you have to deal with it yourself.
Starting point is 00:11:08 And then sometimes I'm right and sometimes you're right. Sometimes, I don't know. I have given you advice before that you haven't taken and then you've been right. Yes, I think, but I do think you often, you're often, you know, you're locked in. But also like no one's always right. You're like, I know, babe. Yeah, let me just think of a re also like, no one's always right. You're like, I know, babe.
Starting point is 00:11:25 Yeah, let me just think of a rebuttal. No one's always right. No, yeah, exactly. And also, yeah, no, I've been burping too. This water is getting to me. I know, it's super burping. I'm loving it. Well, I haven't had water in like 25 years.
Starting point is 00:11:38 Literally. You always know, Owen and I always have to put something in our water, like a little lime, a little electrolytes. Like we are such little divas with our water. It's so cringe of us. Oh, it's like I actually never thought of it as cringe. No, it is cringe. I've saw one little story and then we have to play again.
Starting point is 00:11:55 I'm sorry. But Emma and I went to Coachella. Yeah. And we were going through security. And Emma. Crazy story. Wow. Emma got stopped at security because she had a bag of like all of these random vitamins
Starting point is 00:12:10 and like all of these like electrolytes and like shit in her bag. And the guy was like, what is this powder? And she was like, that's ketamine. And I was like, no, totally, but it's a prescription. So it's totally fine. She's like, no, no, no, this helps me shit. And this one actually goes in my water. And this one's actually just, it's like the lime packets. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:12:30 And he's like, uh, OK, it's like spilling all over your bag white powder. It was hilarious. They did confiscate some, but they didn't confiscate all. And that's what's important. That is what's important. And I was fine with it. I was like, you guys.
Starting point is 00:12:46 I was like, I'm not trying to stir the pot here, but like, I don't want to get lightheaded. Totally. You know what I mean? During the Sabrina Carpenter set, I need to bring in my electrolytes. Well, we got lightheaded. You got lightheaded because you cried.
Starting point is 00:12:57 Also, oh, I actually did cry. That was so, I don't think anyone knows this about me. No. We're revealing secrets. One of the only times I've ever cried during a musical performance live is Sabrina Carpenter performing emails I can't send at Coachella weekend two. Who wouldn't cry? I fucking cried.
Starting point is 00:13:16 I know. And it was so weird. Like I... And I have to say something. Whoever... I am... And like... Watching you... How do I explain this? I already know what you mean.
Starting point is 00:13:29 No, no, no. I don't think you do because I sit here as Emma's obviously famous. And so I sit here as a non-famous person looking at Emma watching people videotaper. So I'm now sitting here watching Emma sob during emails I can't send while people are zooming into her face and I'm like how will this go on the internet? How will this? And by the way no one posted it. No one. I was refreshing. I was home. You're like you're like hey anything posted on Twitter? I'm like um I've been refreshing already for about two hours. Literally I've been checking love. Um Nobody posted anything. They really wanted you to have your special moment. And that is something that I cannot repay. All of you who saw me cry
Starting point is 00:14:10 during that. Thank you for letting me have my piece. You needed it. That was so sweet. You needed it. I love you. It was actually really special. Oh, it was so good. I'm like tearing up thinking about it. But whatever. Whatever. Okay. Let's play this game. So basically We're playing sleepover games. Okay, because We're kind of having like a faux sleepover. I mean right now it's obviously what time is it 2 p.m totally 2 p.m on on a little Tuesday and you know, but we're pretending that it's a sleepover because Owen and I are so busy that we never get the time to have sleepovers anymore
Starting point is 00:14:43 So now we're gonna have a sleepover and we're gonna play fucking cute little games. We're gonna play Would You Rather and we're gonna play Never Have I Ever. Like we're little teenage girlies and we're at a sleepover. I'm obsessed with that. Okay. Okay. You know I've never really played Would You Rather. No, I've played Would You Rather, but like I haven't played like a fun version of it.
Starting point is 00:15:03 Oh, well this is gonna be like inappropriate adult version. No, no, no. See we're about to take it. We're upping the ante here. I'm obsessed. Okay, we're taking this to another level. I'm obsessed. It's gonna be really inappropriate.
Starting point is 00:15:13 Great. Okay, let's get fucking into it. Okay, go. Okay, you ready? Would you rather marry your ex, your last ex. I'm obsessed with him. Or marry the last person you had sex with before your current relationship our beloved Jared. What?
Starting point is 00:15:32 Okay, who did I? No, I get it. I'm like, you know what I mean? Like your last one night stand. No, totally. It makes total sense. I'm just more like was my last sex my ex. Okay, well then it's whoever was like before that. Like, okay, no. How about like this? Oh, I can't. The most casual. I have an understanding. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:15:49 Have it be like, or would you rather have sex with, or rather marry the last person you had casual sex with? So it's like your last ex or your last casual hookup? Who would you rather marry? I think the casual hookup before Jared was this gorgeous Spanish man named Gonzalo. He just completely sang his name.
Starting point is 00:16:10 We're gonna have to believe that. Actually, maybe not. He lives in actually Long Beach. Next to the, have you seen the, it's the big corporate building right by the ocean. Have you seen it? It's very big, very famous building. It's huge, it has that big clock. And he lives on the third floor actually.
Starting point is 00:16:27 And it's so funny. It's a, it is ocean view. Unit 311, which is so funny. Cause like 11's might like remember. Yeah, it was crazy to go in there. And the door's always open. So just, you can just go in if you want. No, I, and he was gorgeous, but we couldn't, I don't, I learned, I took French,
Starting point is 00:16:46 so we couldn't quite communicate. Totally. Oh, so it was just like, that was too challenging. Yes, so I think I would marry my ex, is what I'm saying. Yeah, and do you think you'd be happy or no? I should not have asked that. Let's have Jared not listen. Okay.
Starting point is 00:17:03 To this part. Jared, turn it off. Jared, baby. So happy. No, I wouldn't. I wouldn't. I wouldn't. No, I, I, I, here's the deal.
Starting point is 00:17:15 I, he's a wonderful person and he's a dear friend of mine now, but like, I don't want to spend my life with him. Yeah, that's not the vibe. No. Okay, that's beautiful. How about you? Okay, so the last. I know. Oh, that's not the vibe. No, okay. That's beautiful. How about you? Um Okay, so the last I know you know who it is. I know okay. Um, wait, who is it? Yeah, I know Yeah, yeah, I know. Okay. So wait. Yeah, I know. Yeah, is that the last word? That's it. Yeah
Starting point is 00:17:40 Yeah, yeah, okay So I'm a key. Just look at me Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So I'm actually... Wait, can you just look at me? Yes. Yeah. Yes. Okay. Totally. So, you know, it's weird because I do think the last person I had sex with is actually a really delightful person. Great. Wonderful. Sweet.
Starting point is 00:18:00 Like a very sweet, super sweet, kind, kind person, who I actually think would be a good husband, which is weird, because it was such a one-night stand, we never really spoke again, ever. But. You didn't? No. That was something I needed to do.
Starting point is 00:18:18 I was like, I need to have this experience for a one-night stand. 100%. But if you saw him, it would be sweet. Oh my, like, it would be a delight, right? Like, he is so delightful. And I can see him being like a good dad. Like, not to like overthink it, but like I can see him being great. I would love him.
Starting point is 00:18:36 You know what I mean? But then also, like, I haven't experienced enough of him. Like, what if he has a fucking weird side? How would I know? Whereas my ex... What if he only eats raisins? Ew. I just can't. I just can't with that.
Starting point is 00:18:49 What if he loves an oatmeal raisin cookie but has to pick out the raisins? It was just like, and then he's just like a crumbly mess everywhere every time he eats an oatmeal raisin cookie. What if he skins a hot dog? Ew. My friend does that.
Starting point is 00:19:01 So with all this being said, I think it's smarter to marry the ex. Totally. But I'm actually not 100% there and I think it might actually be, you know, I think I'd really get, I think I'd really get like a princess treatment from the last guy. So I'm kind of- You would. But princess treatment, it does end.
Starting point is 00:19:21 It depends. Yeah, if you have a kid, it might not, because then it'll be like, oh shit, I have two princesses. No, but like, you know, like there's different, like different guys have different styles of dating. Like some guys are like, peace bitch, in like a cute way where you're like,
Starting point is 00:19:36 that's actually kind of like, some guys I feel like want you to be super independent and like do your own thing. And then some guys I feel like are like, no, I'm gonna spoil you. Well a man should always spoil you. I'm sorry, I'm of that mindset. I always was like, no don't spoil me.
Starting point is 00:19:50 And now I kind of am like, I think I've experienced like being treated a bit more spoil-y, which is not necessarily like. And I was like, oh that's kind of the vibe. So maybe I'd get that there. I think it doesn't have to be spoiled monetarily. I think like, like. I more mean spoiled emotionally.
Starting point is 00:20:08 Totally, okay, yeah. You know what I mean? Yes. Or like, yeah, I'll get you a glass of water without, like just because I'm being nice or something. Like that's a different mindset. Well, I hope whoever you are with, your ex or the man who you randomly slept with,
Starting point is 00:20:21 gets you a glass of water. When you want that, especially in this cup. I agree. Especially in that cup where it just glides, glides, glides down the throat. No, but I'm serious. I really hope that you have that with these two men. I hope that they both do that too, but I could see that more happening with the last guy
Starting point is 00:20:36 I slept with. So I think that I, I don't know, I think I might, I might date or no, I might marry one and then cheat on that one with the other. That's a great plan. Genius, right? Okay, moving on. Perfect. Okay. Would you rather never be able to stalk your ex on social media ever again, or have them be your next door neighbor? Oh my god.
Starting point is 00:21:06 Oh my god, what? Okay, I have to stalk my ex. By the way, I've been in a nine, it will be ten years relationship with Jared. I still stalk my ex. Duh. You have to. It's a rite of passage. You have to.
Starting point is 00:21:21 At least once a month. It's who you are as a person. It's who I am. It's ingrained in me. I have to. And it's not even like I'm looking because I'm toxic or I'm looking because me telling myself, it's not because you're toxic.
Starting point is 00:21:32 It's not because I'm looking because I'm actually like looking for anything. It's more just like, what do you have to do at this point? I agree and I do that with friends, like people I drifted away from in high school. Like I stalk every ex I've had at least totally. Every once in a while. Every day, once a day. Every once a day, once in high school. Totally. I stalk every ex I've had at least once in every once in a while.
Starting point is 00:21:45 Every day, once a day. Every once a day. Yeah. Once in a while. That's so hard. But also like having them be your next door neighbor. That's a lot. Kind of fun though.
Starting point is 00:21:54 No, I couldn't. I would rather not be able to stalk them. I'm sorry. I couldn't see them pull up every single day. That's insane. Picture this, okay? Picture you going home from a long day of work. You pulling in your driveway, and next door,
Starting point is 00:22:10 your ex has a girl leaving the house, and he's kissing her goodbye. Would you rather see that? No. Or not be able to see that ever again? See, honestly, like, I'm of... I... of... I...
Starting point is 00:22:33 I would choose to never be able to stalk my ex again. Just because what a relief it would be. That just sets you free. The social media of it all, getting to look, it's too fucking fun. It's too fucking fun, and it's too fucking available. It's like, it would be a treat to just not even have it there totally and it's too it's too much of a distraction also it like actually distracts us from things we actually need to do yeah like I have an email to
Starting point is 00:22:56 send totally not really totally emails I can't send but I the only thing that I think could be kind of fun is to be friends with your ex to a point where you're like, it's totally cool, like bring that girly pop over. You know what I mean? Like it's all good. Like let's go on a double date. Let's merge and have parties together. Oh God, would you do that?
Starting point is 00:23:17 No, but I like the idea of it. It sounds cute and fun. I think that's what everyone should do. That's like what people should strive for it's amazing That's an amazing relationship to be that comfortable and and Secure with yourself and also with your ex how great yeah, but then imagine You're single again, right?
Starting point is 00:23:37 Like you're not in a relationship and then you see your ex and they're still with their current person going strong and it's like oh shit I'd fucking lose my mind. Okay, so with that being said, never be able to stalk again. Next! Okay. Would you rather fart or burp every time you orgasm? Every time we orgasm?
Starting point is 00:23:56 Yeah, so you come and then you're like, oh my God. Obviously burp. Fart is so, I do have to do something else. Oh, but maybe that... But it might be covered up then. There's... I don't know. It's actually more embarrassing. I have to...
Starting point is 00:24:12 Because for my situation, I don't know if you know this, but I'm a man who has anal. Oh, no, I get it. No, no, I know that. So let's bleep the word anal. Because it's just inappropriate. It's so inappropriate. We've been talking about such appropriate things thus far. And so now it's just like to bring anal Okay, totally. Because it's just inappropriate. It's so inappropriate. We've been talking about such appropriate things thus far. And so now it's just like to bring anal into it.
Starting point is 00:24:28 Totally. It's just crazy. No, so I guess a fart is actually more normal in that situation. Yeah. But I guess every time would be a bit excessive. But it would be like, it would be like kind of like this. Oh. Like eventually.
Starting point is 00:24:42 But maybe it wouldn't make a sound. What? Like imagine. Like just like an air bubble. Like, eventually. But maybe it wouldn't make a sound. What? Like, imagine. Like, just like an air bubble. Like air. Oh, but I guess. Like sss. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:52 Like, maybe it actually might be better. I would do, I just like, I just don't want, like. The stink, the smell. Like, it's just weird. I would burp too, I would burp. I would burp. I would have to scream. But imagine like burping in someone's ear,
Starting point is 00:25:15 like you're right there or something, like and you're burping in their ear. I don't know. Well you could scream over a fart. You'd be like whoa! Ah! I'm like, I'm like, uh, uh, wait, hold on. I was trying to like...
Starting point is 00:25:31 Wait, your burp, what are you doing? You're trying to scream over the burp. I was trying to see if screaming over the burp would work by making myself burp. Does it? Oh my god, wow! Oh my god! Can I be honest? You orgasmed, but you just did that.
Starting point is 00:25:49 So I heard it, love. I think that's normal for you. This is a question that's just based in reality. You're like, would you rather fart or burp during orgasm? I don't do either. It's like you clearly do. Oh, I know. You have something weird going on with your intestines.
Starting point is 00:26:06 I have a lot of burps. I have a lot of burps. I definitely have fucked up intestines. So with that being said, out of both, I would choose, I would choose burp because I feel like I could like, I can control the burp more. I feel like a fart is harder to control. Totally. And it might be long.
Starting point is 00:26:21 Imagine if it's super long. Are you choosing a long, long fart?? No I'm choosing a burp. I'm gonna choose the fastest burp and I'm gonna make it inside myself. I'm gonna be like you're gonna do like an internal one. I always burp inside myself. Don't you? Uh no I let it out because sometimes it just gets all clogged up if I like suck it back in in that way. Watch I like I do that when I can't. OK, I just burped inside myself and no one would know. And you would. I mean, I look weird. I'm like straight to my neck, but you would never know.
Starting point is 00:26:53 And it might just look like I'm orgasming. Oh, Drew. OK, fine. Burp me up. Burp it is. That me up. That's just fire. OK, next. Would you rather join the Mile High Club or have a threesome? Now, before we answer this, there's a whole lot of talk about the Mile High Club as though anyone's ever fucking done it.
Starting point is 00:27:16 Well, I think a lot of people have done it. Really? No, I've never done it. No, no, no. I just wanted you to think I had. Okay. For that one moment. Like, I've never done it.
Starting point is 00:27:25 Would you? Rather? Like, I'm so anxious that I'd be like, I wouldn't even enjoy it. To be honest, I don't know how you're doing. I don't know how people do that. Wait, does the My Little Club include the fingering? Oh, yeah. I think it's just like having a sexual... It's just having an experience that's sexual then it's like
Starting point is 00:27:48 I'll blow someone on a plane. Okay. I do think actually having penetrative sex on the plane is insane is insane It's fully insane the small space that can find space like I don't even like I even struggle with the shower Like I really just love intercourse in a bed. Like I have no interest in getting all crazy and like I don't get this adrenaline, you know adrenaline- Rush.
Starting point is 00:28:17 Boner from, you know, from like being in like a space I'm not supposed to be having sex in. I just don't. I lost my virginity in a car, famously. Yes, famously. And, um, that's it. Bye guys. Um, what was I going to say?
Starting point is 00:28:33 Well, like, was it fun? Oh, and it basically like, it was the, one of the only, I think the only time I've had sex in a car and there's a reason that it was my virginity. Like I was young, it was like new, I was in a minivan. It was like, do you know what I'm saying? And I will never do it again. But it's fine. I know it's like some people love it. So would you do it or not? What's the root? Would you rather? It's would you rather join the Mile High Club or have a threesome? Now here's where I don't think I need to have a threesome. Like I really don't want to have a threesome. Now here's where I don't think I need to have a threesome. Like I really don't want to have a threesome. Okay maybe, maybe it could be
Starting point is 00:29:10 fun. With two guys. Oh my god Emma Chamberlain. I'm sorry. You want to be gang banged. All good love. You could do that. It's fine. It kind of sounds fun. Oh my god. I actually think I'd rather do that. Threesome. Two guys of my choosing. I want to choose them. Let me choose them.
Starting point is 00:29:38 No one's forcing you to. I don't want a Russian roulette threesome. If it's Russian roulette threesome. When has that happened? I don't't know we're playing would you rather like the fucking the rules are all over the great areas. Okay but I don't think what's gonna happen to you is you're gonna be at a bar and it's gonna be you're gonna be like I can't choose fuck it you guys choose. I don't think that's gonna happen to you. I think I think like if you wanted to have a threesome with two guys you could pick that. Okay so in would you rather... Would a guy who would a
Starting point is 00:30:08 straight man want to have sex with another man? Maybe if they like me enough. Oh my god that's beautiful. Would they touch? The boys? Yeah. That's totally up to them. I don't give a fuck as long as I'm having a good time. Challengers. This is Challengers. It's Challers coded. That's amazing. Me and my little juicy zip up. Like just having a little threesome. Hot. Okay so I think I'm choosing threesome just cause I really get such bad anxiety having
Starting point is 00:30:39 sex in like confined spaces, spaces I'm not supposed to. Like that anxiety would make the experience less enjoyable. Whereas the threesome, I am not really that stoked on having a threesome. I'm not supposed to. Like that anxiety would make the experience less enjoyable, whereas the threesome, I am not really that stoked on having a threesome. I'm not excited about it. However, you know what? It's a life experience. It's a life experience and I'd at least be able
Starting point is 00:30:53 to chillax and be like, get to work, boys. Let me just relax here. Let me just enjoy it. Totally, let me put my legs up for once. Put them up for once. Do you have grapes to feed me? One of them is feed me freaking grapes. That's still a thre so awesome. Right. Slapping grape. Now what would you choose? I've had a threesome. Right. Well, would you rather have another one?
Starting point is 00:31:12 No. Oh my God. Are you kidding? Oh my God. I'm going to dry even pass out. You didn't love. You didn't love. It's just I just I just I'm like, take talk. When's it ending? I'm like, uh-uh. I have a lot of shit to do. But would you be anxious having sex on the plane? Oh my God, I can barely fly. But it might distract you from being afraid of flying, because I'm also afraid of flying recently.
Starting point is 00:31:37 To be honest, if I had a crush on a plane, let's say you see a really hot guy walk into a plane and he's sitting across from you, I wouldn't be anxious, because I would be like, I'm licking, I have something to look at. So true. Do you know what I mean? So I think that the mile high thing would make me less anxious and the pheromones would be releasing.
Starting point is 00:31:54 Releasing. So then I'd be super calm. Maybe you'd heal your flight anxiety through having a good experience through sexy time on the plane. Totally. I would cure my anxiety through good dick. I mean, come on. Come on.
Starting point is 00:32:08 Is that what it felt like? No, I would choose that. Okay. Would you rather be single forever or marry the first person you ever kissed? So go time travel back to your first kiss. So here is the deal. I was just, I just did Call Her Daddy and we talked about my first kiss, which was, and I named the name.
Starting point is 00:32:26 And I didn't bleep it or cut it. So the name is out there. So now what I'm trying to figure out is if I say single forever, am I basically saying that I don't want to be with the person that I named? Oh no. I love him so deeply. PR answer. How do I answer this?
Starting point is 00:32:50 No, no, it's this. No, but it's also like if somebody said that they'd rather, like if my, I'm thinking about who I had my first kiss with and they're like, I'd rather be single forever, I'd be like, that's fine because. Totally. I, like. It was a first kiss and only kiss for a reason.
Starting point is 00:33:04 But also like, yeah. We were young. Why are we not together anymore? Because it's not a vibe. 100%. So because of that, my PR answer is I'm obsessed with you, Miles, and live your life. He was an amazing dancer. He had such beautiful features and qualities. I bet. And what I'm gonna do is be single forever. But!
Starting point is 00:33:27 But I'm gonna call him and we're gonna be close friends! That's exactly right! And he's gonna come to my house and we're just not gonna touch but we're gonna talk. Hang. We're gonna hang, we're gonna gab. Gab with. And we're gonna have sleeps. Over in different beds.
Starting point is 00:33:42 With the same miles. Gabbing with miles. Yep. No, it's, you're just gonna be roommates. He's my roommate. Fuck it. Literally fuck it. Miles, be my roommate. Fuck it. DM Owen, I would also probably be
Starting point is 00:33:56 single forever. Yeah. Because even though I also had a delightful first kiss, he's a very funny boy. High school? And very sweet. It was in high school's freshman year. Freshman year. And... An unknown or famous? Oh, fully. I mean, an unknown man.
Starting point is 00:34:11 This is an unknown man. Wait, when did you start vlogging? Um, summer before junior year. I'm understanding. But also, I didn't really, like... I haven't... Oh, that's not true. What? I was gonna say, like, I haven't really... that's not true. What?
Starting point is 00:34:25 I was gonna say like, I haven't really, it's not like I'm, I haven't hooked up with anyone really famous or notable. Like that we wouldn't know about. You know what I'm saying? That the internet wouldn't know about. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Me being the internet, I'm the internet.
Starting point is 00:34:36 The internet wouldn't know about. No, but like imagine like I secretly like, oh my god, I made out with Harry Styles. Totally, did you? Hasn't happened, no. Would you? Sure. Would you rather made out with Harry Styles. Totally. That hasn't happened. No. Would you? Sure. Would you rather hook up with Harry Styles or Paul Mescal? They're both handsome, sweet, nice.
Starting point is 00:34:57 I mean, I have no complaints. PR answer. I would say I would let them choose me. I can't choose. I'm a woman of no choice. I am a woman of flexibility. Totally. You know, I love both of them equally.
Starting point is 00:35:15 I might choose Harry Styles because I don't even know why. Like... Childhood crush? I guess not really for you. Because... I don't even know why, like... Childhood crush? I guess not really for you. I just love the song Satellite by Harry Styles so much that like I'm... I'd hit it. Totally. Well, I get that. Yeah. What about you?
Starting point is 00:35:38 Challengers, both. Why did I not... I would do that. Well, I mean, that's a cheating answer. I... Because you picked Harry, I'll pick Paul. So that we're not competing? Sure, because you would win. Also, Paul's hot.
Starting point is 00:35:55 So gorgeous. I need to pick Paul. You have to pick Paul. Just for my own self. You and Paul would be great. Yeah. We would. I gave in. Paul Call DME. Please. Okay, so we're both not marrying the person we can be our first kiss. Would you rather be made breakfast after a one night stand or have your Uber or Lyft
Starting point is 00:36:19 paid for by a one night stand? Do you watch Love Island? No. So in Love Island, you guys tune in. Comment below, do you have me? Yes! In Love Island, which everyone here watches, I know. I'll be.
Starting point is 00:36:34 The guys bring the girls breakfast in the morning. And it's this like cute thing that they do. And they're like, and it's like, you know who's with who because Cordell brings Serena breakfast and then Deja is super mad. And Deja's like, or he brings both of them breakfast and he's like, here you go. And then he like tries to slip Deja one
Starting point is 00:36:54 and he's like, here you go. And then he walks out and Deja's like, I got breakfast from Cordell. And Serena's like, same. Anyways, all to say, I think that is so, watching that, I was like hard watching it I was like that's so hot. Yeah, I want that. I don't care about the ubers I know it's like a thing that we should care about because it's like we should get our ubers paid for
Starting point is 00:37:15 When I don't mind either I think it's fine, but like breakfast so sweet Can I be honest you don't want to have breakfast with a one-night stand? I don't really either. I don't even want to sleep over with a one night stand. I don't really either. I don't even want to sleep over at a one night stand. Like I'm the type to leave. Like if somebody were to leave. But what if it's a gorgeous house and you're like, wait, you have a sauna? I'm gonna sauna.
Starting point is 00:37:34 No, I, okay, I guess it would depend on who, but like what I like about a one night stand is that I can get the fuck out. I don't want to be eating with you. I don't want to be seeing you. That's the whole point. I don't want you in light. I want to go on a date. Totally. If I'm gonna, like make me breakfast for a date. Totally. But like for a one nightstand I'm really excited to like do what we need to do. Totally and then get the fuck out. Can I be honest? I agree. I actually agree. I think that that's the nature of the interaction. Like I don't go into a one-night stand
Starting point is 00:38:11 Expecting anything more than a sexual interaction and going away and I only had like going a pounding than a going But I've had like one ago. I can't even talk about a one-night stand. I've had like three in my whole life So have I Gonzalo being one of them Spanish man? gorgeous couldn't understand one word Two of mine were roommates. What? You had a threesome. No. Oh. Two of yours were roommates? Well, no. Like two out of the three of my one night stands were two boys who were both roommates.
Starting point is 00:38:41 So I hooked up with both at different times. Sorry, what's happening? Not the same day. So you had... Okay, can we just explain this in language that I can understand? Yes. Because I'm not following you whatsoever. Okay, yeah, let's understand this. I just can't ultimately read or follow this.
Starting point is 00:38:54 I know. That's what you're talking about. So there were two men who lived together. Yep. You had sex with both of them separately on different occasions. Yes. And they knew about this? They did not care.
Starting point is 00:39:06 And neither did I. How great. Well, that's your threesome, love. No. The closest I ever got, because it was so different, you know? I know what you're gonna say. The closest you ever got was what?
Starting point is 00:39:17 Was, you know the story? Should I tell it or no? Well, is it the one I'm thinking of? The closest I ever got to a threesome? Yeah. Yeah, I think it is. It's only you. Okay, so go, is it the one I'm thinking of? The closest I ever got to a threesome? Yeah. Yeah, I think it is. It's only-
Starting point is 00:39:27 Okay, so go. Tell her. Okay, you guys. Let me let you in on a crazy Emma story. Craziest, yeah. You will not even believe that this happened. Basically, me and my friend went home with a guy and his friend, right? And what ended up happening was, we got back to this house
Starting point is 00:39:50 and they had a lot of friends over. And it was very clear that something was gonna happen. Well, actually, let me put it like this. Basically, both of the boys decided that they wanted to hook up with my friend and I at the exact same time. So totally. That's great and all, but there was only one bedroom open.
Starting point is 00:40:15 So my friend and I, and then the two boys hooked up. It sounds like you're at Disneyland, by the way. This is insane. You're like, so we only had a fast pass for, we only had one fast pass for Thunder Mountain and we had to go on it. It's like, you could wait for one more bedroom. It's like, it's okay love.
Starting point is 00:40:35 No, listen, I agree. But I was like, I was down for the ride. So we have sex next to each other, but we never touched or interacted. It was so weird. I love that Emma story. I'm so glad this episode is gonna be Emma stories. Like weird Emma stories.
Starting point is 00:40:51 But what about OE's story? No, no, no, but nobody can, I want your stories. I'm so glad I could bring them out. Wait, so you had sex with this guy next to your friend having sex with another guy. Yes. In the same bed? Yeah. In the same bed? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:05 In the same bed? Yeah. Did you feel the bed moving? I mean, we're literally less than a foot away from each other. So like, you know, like there are sounds happening. You heard sounds? Of course I hear sounds.
Starting point is 00:41:18 I heard it popped in an AirPod. Fuck it, listen to waves. We're sharing an AirPod. Hey guys, can we do some calming music? You go, yeah, you go, here, take the left one. You give it to your friend. So romantic. We're both listening to like... They're listening to rap.
Starting point is 00:41:31 We're listening to Charlie XCX. 100%. It's so sweet. 360. And you're like this, woo! Oh my god, that actually would be... That'd be hot. That'd be really good for energy.
Starting point is 00:41:39 100%. Yeah, that was crazy. Well, it was also like, that was one of my first one night stands ever, too. Well, I was also like that was one of my first One night stands ever too. Like I had never done that. I was a teenager To be you were a teenager. Yeah to be to to have a one night stand and you be like it be one of three and In the one of three you're having sex next to your friend in a bed together. You've done it all. Do you know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:42:05 You've done 100 one night stands. Yeah, cuz like that's so crazy. But see, I almost like that better. Like I almost think that was one of my favorite experiences because I think my favorite thing about it was that once it was over, it was like right back to hanging out with a group. It was like fun. Whereas when you do a one night stand with-
Starting point is 00:42:26 Totally, you're like, yo, what's up? Yeah, exactly. Should we go to Mel's? No, no, literally it was so chill. We just got fucked in the same bed. It was like, because one night stands are awkward for me when it's over and then it's like, okay. Totally.
Starting point is 00:42:40 What now, bye. Totally. Like whereas when you're in a group of friends, it's great. But that's something that only happens, I feel like, when you're like high school age. You know what I mean? Well, no, like, maybe college. I'm gonna say college age. That's something that's only, it only happens when you're 12. That's a college story. That's a college story.
Starting point is 00:42:57 That's my college experience when I'm 10. So, anyway, I, what even was the would you rather, oh, I would rather have my Uber paid for, full circle. I'd rather have my Uber paid for than have breakfast because I don't think I wanna hang that much. I completely get it. For you, I would actually adjust that to you'd rather have another bed. You'd just rather have a separate bed.
Starting point is 00:43:20 I'll pay for my own Uber. I just wanna have my own room for that section. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Would you rather stay up all night having sex? Okay. That's a threat. It's literally a threat. Having sex? Or would you rather stay up all night talking? What? With your partner. Obviously talking. I'm so tired. I was going to say, like, I have no interest in all night vibes. I'm also just too tired, like in general. I agree. I think most people are.
Starting point is 00:43:52 I can barely have sex. I get it. I'm like this. Jared's like, tonight's the night. I'm like, tomorrow is the night. And then tomorrow comes, he goes, tonight. I go, oh my God. And guess what?
Starting point is 00:44:03 It's going to be Tuesday next week. I go, Tuesday is the day what it's gonna be Tuesday it's gonna be crazy I'm gonna light candles Tuesday comes I light candles he goes tonight's the night I go oh wait the house on fire I just make up excuses you just tip over the candle 100% oops like you know I never I'd always been sort of like down for sex whenever like base down you know like that's always been sort of like down for sex whenever, like bass down, you know? Like that's always been my vibe. Like... Face down?
Starting point is 00:44:28 No! I've always been down. Like down from whenever. Oh, bass down. Like I'm always, yeah, just like I've always been down. Baseline down. Baseline, I'm just down. And then... Congrats on that.
Starting point is 00:44:37 Like I've never been like so tired that I've been like, I don't want to. You've never been that way. Until recently, I don't want to. You've never been that way. Until recently, I think I'm hitting a new level of maturity where now I'm like, I will have sex, but I can't do anything interesting. I will be, I'm just gonna lay down, sorry.
Starting point is 00:44:56 Yeah, yeah, I get that. That never happened to me. You're a passenger princess. I, yes. You're a pillow princess. Pillow princess, passenger princess, like I'm a nightmare I'm a fucking nightmare No one and I'm like and I'm a six so it's like a bad recipe
Starting point is 00:45:13 That's like me too a six except I'm on a six. I might be a five. I might be a five so I'm a five That's still really good and I'm For me, I'm like a three but Jared thinks I'm a ten because he's never been with anyone else. If Jared even touched another man, even just the touch, he'd be like, wow, Owen's a two. But like, I won't let him do that ultimately. That's not true. And love you for that.
Starting point is 00:45:35 But I think I would rather stay up all night talking because I love to talk. I would too. We do that. We can talk to ourselves. Yeah. I don't need, I don't even need like a guy there. I don't even need that. It's fine. I'll don't need I don't even need like a guy. I don't even need that. Yeah. It's fine. I'll just talk.
Starting point is 00:45:46 I don't even need them there. Bye. No, bye. Would you rather have somebody make the first move on you or have you make the first move on a person? Like what's harder to you? Somebody making the first move on me. I agree. Obviously. You want me to go up to you, make out with you at a bar?
Starting point is 00:46:02 No, love, that's assault. You want me to go up to you, make out with you at a bar? No, love, that's assault. I need you to give me no signals. No, I need you to seem super bored with me. No, I will not make a first move. Sorry. I won't either. Do a lot of guys make the first move on you?
Starting point is 00:46:22 I feel like... Have you ever made the first move? I was about to say, I actually don't think I've ever made a first move. I've maybe been like vaguely flirty. Vague. I'm not really super flirty. Like I'm kind of like... I'm kind of scared of that. I've seen you flirt.
Starting point is 00:46:42 Really? Describe it. It's not that flirty, you're right. It's more like this. Ask me a question. Hey, where are you from? I'm from the Bay Area. And have you been? It's like that. It's like, it's like. No. It's like that. No, it's not like that. It's like, it's like, no, it's not like that.
Starting point is 00:47:08 No. As me another question. Okay. Um, what are you doing after this? I told Owen I would go back to his house with him. But what are you going to do? Keep going. I was going to head back to my house. My roommates are all out of town, so.
Starting point is 00:47:26 Ah, shit. That sounds fun. We'll catch up another night. That's so true. It's very much that. It's so that. Me thinking like, seeming unavailable. And then you come to me like, I literally ate his ass. You're like, it was crazy. We did rim jobs in the bathroom. I'm like, love, you wouldn't touch him. And he invited you over and you said no. So confused what happened.
Starting point is 00:47:52 That's why it was so crazy. Like, when I recently did my, not recently, but like a year ago, did my one night stand randomly. And it was the one night you didn't come out with me. Which is why you hooked up with him. Well, because nobody was there to protect me. So I just kind of was like, OK, I guess I'll do it.
Starting point is 00:48:08 Which is amazing. I know, because normally I like, we'll get too nervous. You overthink things. We'll use Owen as an excuse. I'm like, I have to drive Owen home. He's butt drunk. And then the guy is like, Owen told me he wasn't drinking. He's scootering.
Starting point is 00:48:23 He's super sober. Owen said he was scootering home. He's razoring home. Like he's totally fine. He literally is fine and he hasn't drunk in days. In years. Yeah. He's sober. He said he's in his sober era. Yeah. And it's like really cute actually. Okay. So anyway, I don't make the first move. In fact, boys have to really make a move on me. In order for me to,
Starting point is 00:48:52 I need to be with a really confident guy. I've been with guys who are not confident and who really are afraid to make the first move and it's been really tough because I also am not out there with it My it's just a nightmare. Do you think you've ended up with men who don't make the first move? Yes But I've also ended up with men who really will make moves Totally I actually have like I think I'm split 50 50 50 50 and I will say that it there is something really delightful about just,
Starting point is 00:49:25 I love dating somebody who's so confident and like loves the game. Totally. And will just like get in there and fucking, and I just get to sit back and experience this like being sort of, I almost said swindled as though I'm being scammed. But sometimes that is what dating is. Totally. Yeah, like I like to just.
Starting point is 00:49:42 What's the word you're looking for? I know what you're looking for. Just to be like swept away by the experience. You know what I mean? What a treat swept not swindle. I don't like to work hard in that in general, but really I I don't when it comes to dating I like I'm like sub coded, you know, totally. I just want to sit back and like Be told what's gonna happen. Totally, you know? Totally. I just wanna sit back and like, be told what's gonna happen. Totally.
Starting point is 00:50:06 You know? I mean, I think emotionally, I'm more in the driver's seat for the most part, but I think physically, Physically you want someone who's, yeah, totally. Like let's just take me on a journey. Totally. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:50:22 Like just make it, that's, that's. So like reservations. Oh, I want to make the reservations What about you? I don't care. I know Okay, next would you rather try pole dancing or a lap dancing? Lap dance is easier to is like more You'll use it more Okay Like I'll give someone a lap dance more
Starting point is 00:50:45 if I know how to give one. Yes. Like where's a pole? Like you want me to use this? No, see I'm pole dancing all the way. Pole dancing is like also a great workout. It's so, and it's so cool, badass. It's so badass.
Starting point is 00:50:58 To me, I will never, I don't care. Listen, I could be looking face to face with my soulmate knowing this is the love of my life, this is the best I'm ever gonna do. That person could say, Emma, the only thing I need right now is for you to give me a lap dance and then I will be your husband. I would say you have to find someone else.
Starting point is 00:51:21 Nothing sounds worse to me. I get that because it's embarrassing. So embarrassing. But what if you're really good at it? Like what if a guy looks down and is like, holy fuck. He's not gonna say that about me. Yeah, neither me, love. He's gonna be like, holy fuck, my leg broke.
Starting point is 00:51:37 Can you get off? They're gonna say about me like, wow, her back just kind of never ends. Like it just kind of goes in. Where's the butt? Totally. You know? It's like, wow, this wow her back just kind of never ends like it just kind of goes in where's the butt? Totally, you know, it's like wow There's no crack like where's the crack out of a crack no idea. I don't have a great butt Oh, thank you. It goes through phases. So you're gonna do lap dance. So I Went to a strip club and this girl was dancing in a way that I've never seen.
Starting point is 00:52:06 I, the gayest person on earth was like. I need to be with her sexually. She was so hot and like her leg was like on the pole and like wrapping around the pole. Yes. See, it was insane. Right. So if I could do that, then I do pole dancing. But if it's like in my normal life, I'd probably want a lap dance. I get it. I just need to pole dance. Let's do it. I actually think I just want to.
Starting point is 00:52:33 No, I think we should do it. Because it looks fun. It looks fun. It's sort of like I was a cheerleader. Like it's in the same vibe. But also like I feel like a lap dance to me, like the thought of me giving a lap dance makes me cringe so bad that I can't even handle it Where's the thought of me pole dancing? Honestly, that's kind of sick. I totally get it. Okay, I Completely get it. I think you should pole dance and I think everyone here wants you should we take a class? I would totally do that. Would you do it? Yeah, okay. Let's do that podcast at the pole. Yes We have head we have we're upside down. the poll? Yes. We have Britney mics.
Starting point is 00:53:05 We're upside down, we can't breathe. We're throwing up. I think we'd be really good. I think we should try it. Okay, let's do it. It'll be good for our relationships. You know what I mean? It'll really up up.
Starting point is 00:53:14 For us. It'll be good for our relationship. Our relationship, yeah. Because I just think you seeing me in that light will be really inspiring. Totally. Because I think right now you see me sort of as like. Well, I don't respect you right now.
Starting point is 00:53:23 And if you had your leg around a pole, I'd really respect you. That's actually true. I just think you seeing me do something well, which could be pole dancing, would grow your respect for me. But also you seeing me as a sexual being, like doing something kind of hot, I think it'd be good for you to see.
Starting point is 00:53:41 Because I just think right now you see me as sort of this sexless being. Totally. I think to you it's hard to imagine me having sex. Which most of society looks at me and says that she doesn't have sex. Shut the... This is so insane. You literally are so hot and everything Emma posts is like the hottest photo even if it's
Starting point is 00:53:59 like you like in a sweatshirt. It's still like hot. Stop. And you've been doing really great, great fashion stuff recently that look really hot. Okay, thanks. Like Rick Owens top, did everyone see that top? My boobs were out. Okay, maybe I'm coming into my sexual self publicly.
Starting point is 00:54:18 You're coming into it, my love. But I can't wait to pole dance with you. I can't wait, I'll do it any day you want. Great. Would you rather have no sex ever again, or have no emotional conversations ever again? No sex. I agree. No sex.
Starting point is 00:54:32 I need to talk. Come on. I can't, and I need to talk in a way that's deep. People listening to this? You just saying, I need to talk. They're like an hour, two hours in. Yeah, obviously. Yeah, shut the fuck up. Um, no, I agree with you. Well Also, I don't think I can have sex with somebody and enjoy it unless we have good banter and good emotional talk
Starting point is 00:54:56 100% I don't think that exists I mean it does exist because it's like like here's the deal if you brought somebody who does that for a living like a sex worker or like a porn star or whatever like like into my room and they just like, fucked me, it would be amazing, I'm sure. Yes, that's true. Do you know what I mean? Because they know what they're doing. To do, right.
Starting point is 00:55:12 But like, a man off the street. Yeah. I'm not fucking you unless you make me laugh. That's... Amen. Amen. And Jared has never made me laugh. So ultimately now I am revising that statement
Starting point is 00:55:26 No, but isn't it true that like it like I I need like it's so hot to me when You listen to me talk for hours and hours and hours would it be really hard for you to never have sex again though I think I'd be bummed about it, but I think I'd be okay. I'd be like this. Eh. No, I'd be like this. Oh, what? Okay. That would be it.
Starting point is 00:55:54 And the first day would be, oh, I'd be sad about it. Second day I'd be like this. What? What? Like I'd be looking around and being like what? And then third day, okay. I would be like, for me, it'd be first day, I'd be like, fuck. But then second day I'd be like, okay.
Starting point is 00:56:15 And then I think my third day I'd be like, this is my normal. Totally. Third day, mom is happy. Totally. I can go like years without sex and be like, that's okay. Totally. Okay. Would you rather cheat or be cheated on? I mean here's the deal. Obviously I'd rather cheat because I don't want to be hurt. But I think in my scenario right now with the love of my life,
Starting point is 00:56:38 I would rather be cheated on because I could never hurt him. I would rather be cheated on because it's kind of the power position. You know? Like you did nothing wrong. You made no mistake. You did your freaking best. You feel like shit though. You feel like shit.
Starting point is 00:57:02 You do. But you know what I mean? It's just also like, I just can't even think about it. You do. But you know what I mean? It's just also like see... I just can't even think about it. Horrible. I know. It's a horrible thing. It sucks. Have you ever been cheated on? That is a great question. You know... I would say technically like no. However, for a long time I felt like I did. Because one of the guys I dated, we broke up.
Starting point is 00:57:27 And then we got back together, but it was like not really official. And I kept being like, we can't hook up unless like, you know, you're only talking to me. And then the communication there was so spotty that he was fucking everyone. And so he was like, I'm not gonna do that. Yeah, but then every time I would find out
Starting point is 00:57:43 about various girls that he was fucking, because like, like one not gonna do that. Yeah, but then every time I would find out about various girls that he was fucking because like, like one time like I saw, like he was on his phone showing me a photo, and then I saw a photo of another girl on his bed. I was like, oh my God. What? Wait, why did he take a photo of her on his bed? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:57:58 Like she was naked? Hashtag memories. No, not even. She was just like this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She was reading like a cute book. Like I bet he like- She was reading to all the boys I love before. Yes. Kicking your feet out. He probably like sent it. She's like Harry Potter 3. Love this one. It's like why are you doing that? Why did you need
Starting point is 00:58:14 that pic? Did something happen on the bed? It's so weird that they needed the pic. Yeah like was he sending it to like his house cleaner being like hey this spot. Totally. She spilled. Like but like I don't under like can I be honest? I'm gonna say something that's gonna make everybody turn against me. Okay, go. I don't understand photos, like, random people who are like, I have to document this. It's like, I actually like that later.
Starting point is 00:58:37 Like, my friend does that, my friend Zoe does that, and I love it later because she has all these photos that I would have never taken. I'm so grateful for that. Yeah, but in the moment I'm like I would never think to pull out my phone and be like I just have to get this well Especially in like a sexual situation. What's going on? It's so crazy unless they were setting up shop for a little vid They're a little test run getting it. Yeah, but like it's not like where the tribe my ex works in production
Starting point is 00:59:03 Like he's not like setting up the shot with like totally You know what I mean? So like it was just like that's a very production you think like he I'd love to believe he's that's I don't know. I mean that would be iconic No, but I saw it on his phone. And what did you do? And he like pretended like I didn't See it like did you say something and then later I brought it up I like didn't bring it up for like 24 hours, because I also knew like, is this really, this isn't really fully my boyfriend again. Totally.
Starting point is 00:59:29 Like, we're so on and off, and we're so not really clear on what the rules are. But for a long time, I felt like I got cheated on. Because I felt like we were dating again, and you know, he was, we were hooking up again. And he wasn't committing. Right, and it know, he was, we were hooking up again, you know what I mean? And he wasn't committing.
Starting point is 00:59:48 Right, and it was also weird, because we had dated already. Totally. Sucks, but anyway, so I was also so young too, that I like- How young? Like I was a teenager, you know? And like dating when you're a teenager, everything's so tender, you know what I mean?
Starting point is 01:00:03 So like now I would have been, I would have been like, who the fuck was that? And I would have been like, but I also don't think I would be in a situation. But I don't think you would be with somebody who doesn't wanna commit to you. Exactly. Would you?
Starting point is 01:00:14 No, that's number one, but then also number two, I wouldn't be with somebody and not have clear understanding of like where we're at. Like I knew deep down that like, that he wasn't fully hearing me when I was like, like I can't do this unless we're at. Like I knew deep down that like that he wasn't fully hearing me when I was like like I can't do this unless we're exclusive but also like he didn't even really want to be exclusive again and it was like me fighting him on it. Totally. Which was like cringe. You don't want to be with somebody who's you're fighting on.
Starting point is 01:00:36 No. Yeah. No. That's super cringe. It's really bad. Okay so now we have one more game that's a speed round. Okay go.. And it's, the speed round is a speed round of Never Have I Ever. Great. So, you're, I'm gonna say, Never Have I Ever blank. Totally. And then you're gonna say, whether you have or if you haven't. So it's like the fingers down? Yeah, but because it's a podcast, it's really for, the fingers down is not as impactful.
Starting point is 01:01:01 So we'll just say. So we're just gonna say, I have done that or I have not. Okay, I love this. Okay, great. Okay. Never have I ever gone through someone's phone. I've done that. I have not.
Starting point is 01:01:12 Do you want to elaborate? You're a braver woman than I love. Well, I... I... would literally lose my mind if somebody went through my phone. Like, that would... So would I. Literally freak me out so bad, cuz...
Starting point is 01:01:29 And, yeah. My phone is so sacred to me and I do say shit about other people. Like I'll talk shit in my time. It's fine. Totally. But I don't want people reading through my texts like that. No, it's really, it's such a breach of privacy and it's so, it's so horrible. And I do it all the time. No, I don't do it all the time at all. And by the way, I've been in a relationship for how long
Starting point is 01:01:48 and I haven't done it ever to do it, ever. I did it to my ex because my ex broke up with me. Is there a cry? My ex broke up with me and I knew that there was something else going on. So it wasn't actually, I didn't go through his phone, but his email for his Facebook was, the email and password for his Facebook was the email
Starting point is 01:02:17 and password for his crossroads for our high school email. And so I remembered that. So I just knew because of, I just, I knew it. So when he broke up with me, I went through his Facebook. What'd you find? Well, he ultimately hooked up with somebody or was planning on hooking up with somebody who, and by the way, we were in college.
Starting point is 01:02:39 It's like, of course, we shouldn't have been in a long distance relationship. This is setting ourselves up for failure. But he ultimately hooked up, wanted to hook up with somebody, who in my mind was like a hotter version of me. So I was like, oh no, this is a disaster. So I kept checking and checking and checking. And then one day he had changed the password. It was the worst day of my life.
Starting point is 01:03:00 No. Genuinely the worst day of my life. I still am kind of like, let's try again. Stop. But that's the only thing I've done. Huge kind of red flag. No, but that's fine. But I haven't gone through an actual phone yet.
Starting point is 01:03:16 I know. To me, it's also scary. Like, I do let people, like people I've dated have known my passwords. Not my like passwords,, but my phone password. Totally. And it's like, what can you do? That's spooky, but it's all good. But I'm not doing anything. You're not doing anything.
Starting point is 01:03:34 For the most part, I'm not doing anything, so it's kind of all good. If you wanna go on, what are you gonna find? Totally. But sometimes I will vent about a partner to you or my parents and be like, they're pissing me off you know and I don't want them to see that but so far I don't think anyone's looked through my phone and I've definitely not looked through anyone's phone. I would love to do it it'd be so fun but
Starting point is 01:03:56 I won't. Okay never have I ever texted the wrong person something really bad or embarrassing. Oh my god I have a really good story actually about this that I've never told. I've done that, but I think I've just been honest after and been like, yeah, I've just been like, hey, men stick someone else, obviously, you can see this is about you or whatever, and let's talk about it.
Starting point is 01:04:22 That's happened and you've talked it through? Yeah. That's so healthy and amazing I mean it wasn't health sure. Yes. Well, what what what's your well, it's at least healthy to communicate about it Totally and not get defensive or like just to own up. Totally. I love that. What's your story? Well, my story is in A really close call that scarred me for life. So I and it really wasn't that bad, but to me it felt really bad so basically like There's this guy for life. So I, and it really wasn't that bad, but to me it felt really bad. So basically like there's this guy, how do I explain this? Okay. I was with my friend. Um, I was maybe
Starting point is 01:04:54 19. Totally. I don't even remember. I was a teenager and I was driving with my friend and we were going to get a coffee and we saw this guy outside the coffee shop who is an LA kid, like we all know him or whatever, and he's known for being sort of a womanizer, right? Like he always flirts with girls. And I was telling my friend, I was like, if he doesn't flirt with me, I'm gonna be so fucking offended.
Starting point is 01:05:18 Like I must be ugly. Totally. I must be hideous. He flirts with the world. He flirts with the world. Like, you know, and I was sort of being like, I was really leaning into the joke about like, I really want him to like ask me on a date. Like I really want him to ask me on a date. Whatever.
Starting point is 01:05:34 I look down at my phone and open is a recording voice memo with my current boyfriend at the time. Did you send it? No. my current boyfriend at the time. Did you send it? No, I picked up my phone gently and I stopped it and I deleted it and I literally, and then I like fucking freaked out and I was like, oh my God. Oh my God, that's why you're so traumatized.
Starting point is 01:05:56 Emma texts me all the time being like, did I voice note? Like she'll send me a voice note and then she'll be like, was that to you? Like one second later, I'm like, no, it was to me love, but it's 10 minutes long I have to get you let me get through it no I'm a mess because that was so scary to me I didn't know that I know the back story they disappear you know and like you don't know what happened well now I have that it's so that they always save mine mine always
Starting point is 01:06:16 saved that I send but and it wasn't even like I was being there was no infidelity happening I didn't even like this guy that's smart yes that smart. Yes, cause then I always know where it went and it doesn't disappear. But anyway, but you know, the thing is, I don't know how he would have taken that. Like he might've listened to that and been like, why does she want another guy to flirt with her? And also, I just started dating this guy
Starting point is 01:06:39 and I was like, I don't want, I like him a lot. I don't want him to be upset. That's crazy. It was so scary. That's really bad. It was bad, but it didn't happen. So, but ever since then I'm a fucking freak. But let's do it tonight.
Starting point is 01:06:52 Let's do it tonight, I can't wait. Seeing you tonight. Seeing you tonight, bad idea, right? Are you going to the concert? We should, no, can we figure out when we should go? 100%. Okay, we'll talk about that. Okay, never have I ever started a rumor about someone. I can't think of a time I have,
Starting point is 01:07:08 but I definitely probably have. I definitely have, but I can't think of a time. But like, oh my God. Especially Millie. Comment below everyone I've started a rumor about. Yeah, wait, if I started a rumor about you, comment up below. Like seriously tweet.
Starting point is 01:07:18 Did I ever? I just want to, I want every tweet to be about us starting a rumor. All of the bad things that we're doing, that we're continuing to do. We've definitely done that. For sure, but I don't think I've ever intentionally done it. I don't think so either.
Starting point is 01:07:33 I think I've heard misinformation and then... I agree. I've never tried to sabotage somebody by starting over. No, we're not Regina George. No. Never have I ever faked an orgasm. It's hard for me, but. That's true.
Starting point is 01:07:47 But I have. But I still even have. I like, like kinda haven't. Like if I'm not, no. Like if I don't come, sorry I didn't come, and now you know, cause I didn't come. But do they ask? No, sometimes.
Starting point is 01:08:03 I mean, no, actually, yes, well, depends. Sometimes. Sometimes. No, not actually. Yes, actually, well, depends. Sometimes, depends on who? Depends on who. But I've had like, I've had it not be addressed. It's just being like, eh, okay, bye. Yeah, but I don't fake it. I'm not like, oh my God, it's a little awesome.
Starting point is 01:08:21 It's like nothing's happening. Like I can't, I'm not. Oh my God, I always fake it I think like how I'm like what I didn't know that was a thing that goes in that What why does it feel like that? Never felt that I do that all the time. So good. I'm like I have never even seen that before Monster of a dick meanwhile Micro, oh no, I've never done that. Meanwhile, Heidi? Super small.
Starting point is 01:08:45 Micro. Oh, no. I've never done that. I mean, I've done that. Yeah, like, I just don't feel good about faking it, because then you get stuck in some shit later when they're like, damn, baby, like I always make you comments. Actually, I've been meaning to tell you like... Totally.
Starting point is 01:09:02 You haven't, love. You haven't, love. You know? Like, it feels like it's going to tell you like... Totally, you haven't loved. You haven't loved, you know? Like, it feels like it's going to cause drama later. I get it. Okay, never have I ever peed in the pool as an adult. I'm too scared I think it'll turn blue because of that one movie.
Starting point is 01:09:18 I've peed in the pool as an adult, and definitely. I always get afraid it's going to turn blue. What's that movie where somebody pe myself in the pool as an adult. What's that movie where somebody pee's in the pool and it turns blue? I don't know what that is. To be totally honest, what is that? You don't know what that is? Okay, I don't remember what movie it is
Starting point is 01:09:36 or when I saw it, but there was this movie where this guy pee's in the pool and his pee has a chemical reaction with the pool, so everywhere where his pee is turns blue. I actually do remember that. Was that in an episode of something? I feel like it was in like Step Brothers or something. I don't know.
Starting point is 01:09:51 I remember that and I don't think that happens. I recently was in a pool a lot. And you pee there? And I, yeah, it was basically just my pee. What became your pee, the pool became your pee. And it was just like perfectly normal color. And perfectly warm. I do love peeing in the ocean.
Starting point is 01:10:10 I pee so much in the ocean. We were at the beach the other day and I didn't, I didn't want to get my, it was so cold and I didn't want to get my- Was it here? In LA? No, it was in New York. And I didn't want to get my full body in the ocean. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:10:24 But I needed to pee really bad and there was no bathroom. So I was like squatting, like in a shallow end, like kind of curled up and I was peeing. And then I got up and you know when sometimes when you get, like I was in such a weird position that my body didn't know that I, when I stood up, I was still peeing. So I was just like, pee was running so far, like...
Starting point is 01:10:46 And Jared was like, squat back down. Squat back down, man. I was like, oh, pee. But that's easy in the ocean. It's fine. Also just blends in with the fish. Totally. The fish love it. They love it. They eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it up. Goldfish.
Starting point is 01:11:00 That's all I have. That's all you have? Yeah, like, it's the part of the sleepover when like our mom comes in and is like, go to bed, girls! Totally. Mom! Ugh.
Starting point is 01:11:09 It's like, mom, stop fucking bitch. Mom, we don't need a condom. No, mom, we don't need a condom. No, I told you, she's gay. We're friends! Like, what? Okay. I love you.
Starting point is 01:11:17 I love you so much. Thank you for having me on this podcast. I guess I just love you. Obviously. Are you mad at me? Well, and I'm also going on your podcast. Why would I be mad at you, Owen? This is something in our friendship and in me and normal friendships where I think everyone's
Starting point is 01:11:29 always mad at me. True. Well, just know two things. Number one, I'm not mad at you. And number two, I'm just frustrated with you. Totally. Sorry, I should process that. So I love you.
Starting point is 01:11:41 Thank you. And I'll see you on my podcast. And then I'll see you on your podcast. And then we're doing a trade. And then we're doing a trade. And then we're doing a trade. We're doing a collab. An old-fashioned collab. Well, it's a collab. I go on your podcast. We go on my podcast. A collab. This is the sister squad.
Starting point is 01:11:53 This is, oh my god, literally, finally, we're back ladies. We're back. The sister squad. But there's just two of us. Yeah. It's kind of more of the sisters. We'll invite others maybe. Yeah, no, maybe. Who?
Starting point is 01:12:05 Discuss off-screen. We'll set up a Zoom. We'll set up a Zoom. Okay, yeah. We'll set up auditions. I love being on Zoom. It's my best friend. It's my best friend, Zoom.
Starting point is 01:12:14 My best friend, Zoom. We have to go to bed. I love you. Okay, I love you. I love you. Okay, bye. Obviously you had fun with Owen and I, if you're still here, so maybe you should go check out Owen's podcast.
Starting point is 01:12:25 Owen is really like really funny and like really cool. Check it out! Check it out! Check it out! Stream it! Wait shout out the name of it. It's called In Your Dreams. You can stream it anywhere. In your dreams, stream anything goes and in your Dreams. It's amazing. Anything Goes and In Your Dreams. In your dreams? You're my soulmate. In your dreams? Anything Goes. Oh my god.
Starting point is 01:12:50 Wait, no, we're fucking talking about each other. I knew it. Whoa. Okay, bye. Go listen. Love you guys. Love you guys. Love you guys.
Starting point is 01:12:58 Love you guys. Love you guys. Love you guys. Love you guys. Love you guys. Love you guys. Love you guys. Love you guys.
Starting point is 01:13:06 Love you guys. Love you guys. Love you guys.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.