anything goes with emma chamberlain - imposter syndrome, a talk with emma
Episode Date: March 17, 2024i've talked a lot publicly about my imposter syndrome because it's something that i've struggled with since i was a teenager. but i had sort of an epiphany recently that imposter syndrome isn't really... a relevant struggle for me in my life anymore. it's definitely still a challenge, but it's just not as big of a deal as it used to be for me. and i think i figured out how i overcame it. so that's what i wanna discuss today - how i fixed my imposter syndrome. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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So, about a week ago, I was doing an interview and I was asked about my imposter syndrome.
And I've discussed my imposter syndrome a lot publicly because it's something that I've
struggled with since I was a teenager.
And it was interesting because the last time I was asked about my imposter syndrome, I
had an epiphany while answering that imposter syndrome is not really a relevant struggle
for me in my life anymore. It's definitely still a challenge. It's something that is not fully resolved,
but it's not as big of a deal as it used to be for me. And this was sort of a pleasant
surprise because I didn't really do anything in particular to alleviate my imposter syndrome. I didn't take specific steps to improve it.
It just sort of improved naturally.
And so I sat down a few hours ago today
and tried to figure out what happened.
Why is it not as big of a deal anymore?
And I think I figured out how I did it.
And so that's sort of what I wanna discuss today.
How I sort of fixed my imposter syndrome.
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Now, spoiler alert, one of the ways that I think I improved my imposter syndrome was
educating myself on what imposter syndrome is and what having imposter syndrome causes
your brain to tell itself.
So let's get a little technical here and discuss what imposter syndrome is. I got all of this info from betterup.com, psychologytoday.com, and verywellmind.com.
Thank God for the internet. So Imposter Syndrome is the condition of feeling anxious and not
experiencing success internally, despite being high performing in external objective ways.
This condition often results in people feeling like a fraud
or a phony and doubting their abilities.
People who struggle with imposter syndrome
believe that they are undeserving of their achievements
and the high esteem in which they are,
in fact, generally held.
They feel they aren't as competent or intelligent
as others might think.
And that soon enough,
people will discover
the truth about them, that they're a fraud, that they are cheating their way to success.
And apparently, this is a new thing that I didn't know about. There are five types of
imposter syndrome. Okay. This is new info. This was kind of fun. This was actually kind
of fun to read about. The first type is the perfectionist. This type of imposter syndrome
involves believing that unless you were absolutely perfect, you could have done better. You feel like
an imposter because your perfectionistic traits make you believe that you're not as good as others
might think you are. The second type is the expert. The expert feels like an imposter because they
don't know everything there is to know about a particular subject or topic. Or they haven't mastered every step in a process. Because there is
more for them to learn, they don't feel as if they've reached the rank of expert.
Three, the natural genius. In this imposter syndrome type, you may feel like a fraud simply
because you don't believe that you are naturally intelligent or competent. If you don't get
something right the first time around,
or it takes you longer to master a skill, you feel like an imposter.
The fourth type, the soloist.
You feel like an imposter if you had to ask for help to reach a certain level or status.
Since you couldn't get there on your own, you question your competence or abilities.
And last but not least, the super person.
This type of imposter syndrome believes that you must be the hardest worker or reach the highest levels of
Achievement possible and if you don't you are a fraud
after reading all these I realized I've
Experienced many of these types of imposter syndrome like I'm not just a perfectionist or just a super person
I'm sort of a mix of a few of them
I think the only one that hasn't shown up for me is the soloist,
where you feel like an imposter if you had to ask for help.
Because I've definitely asked for help along the way in my life, and that's never bothered me.
I've experienced imposter syndrome everywhere in my life, even in areas that are maybe non-traditional. I think imposter syndrome usually tends to address career, you know, like school, career,
things that involve success, financial success in some way.
That's sort of where the conversation tends to stay.
Although I've noticed I have imposter syndrome in other areas of my life as well that are not
related to career, but it's definitely been present in my career and it started in school.
I would say starting in middle school when things started to get a bit more competitive,
you know there was an option to take honors classes, more challenging classes, and kids started to become aware of how their intelligence
gets them praise in the classroom and at home. I've experienced imposter syndrome. I was
a good student, straight A's for the most part, in a few honors classes, not all honors
classes. I wasn't one of those kids that was in all advanced classes. I was always in a few, but I was never fully stacked, right?
As a student, I saw myself as somebody who was not naturally a genius.
And in retrospect, it's like, yeah, very few people are geniuses at school.
That's like a very small portion of the population who just nails it at school.
But that sort of made me feel bad about myself. That's like a very small portion of the population who just nails it at school.
But that sort of made me feel bad about myself.
Even though I got straight A's throughout middle school and high school, I never felt
proud of it.
And I think there were a few reasons for that.
Number one, because I definitely am a perfectionist and I didn't get an A on every test.
I rarely got 100% on a test.
And to me, not getting 100% on every test was sort of a failure.
And there's something in my brain that doesn't like even getting one question wrong.
Like, I love the satisfaction of getting 100% on something.
And I don't know, like in my brain, when I see something less than 100%, it's like, that's
not satisfying.
That's not complete.
I could have done better.
I don't see it as, wow, I got 98% of the questions right.
I see it as I got 2% wrong.
You know, that was sort of my mindset in school.
I also experienced imposter syndrome from not feeling like an expert.
It's impossible to know everything.
It's impossible to know your school textbook from page one to page, what, 700?
It's impossible.
But I would always feel unprepared going into tests, like, oh,
I don't fully understand everything. There are still things that are a little bit foggy in my
brain. And in retrospect, again, that's natural. That's normal. We're not going to know everything.
We're only capable of absorbing so much information. But that also made me feel
undeserving of my grades in a way. And possibly the most significant struggle I had in school
was not feeling like a natural genius.
I had to work so fucking hard to get good grades.
It did not come naturally to me like it did some other kids.
I had to grind.
I slept like three hours a night every night in high school
because I was constantly studying,
constantly doing homework. It wasn't possible for me to succeed in school any other way.
I had to destroy my quality of life in order to succeed at school. And that again made
me feel like an imposter and like a fraud. Like I don't deserve to be in these challenging
classes. I don't deserve the good grades that I have because I have to work so hard to succeed that I just
shouldn't even be here because it's so hard for me.
And then also sort of going back to being the type of student that's only in a few advanced
classes, not in all advanced classes, that also messed with me a little bit psychologically.
I was like, why am I in only a few hard classes?
Why am I not smart enough to
be in all advanced classes? Because I'm not in all advanced classes, that probably means that I suck
and I'm stupid. Again, it was like, I wasn't looking at my range of classes in a glass half full type
of way. I was looking at it like, oh, look at all the advanced classes that I'm not taking instead
of look at all the advanced classes that I am taking.
That's really cool and impressive.
And I honestly think that that is part of the reason why I had a bad relationship with
school, because I was good at it, but I had to torture myself in order to be good at it.
And I was working so hard and I was sacrificing a good quality of life in order to succeed
at school. And yet I didn't even feel satisfied. So it's like all this work was going towards
me feeling like shit anyway. You know, I worked so fucking hard and I felt no gratification.
I felt no accomplishment.
And I think that that's why I got to such a dark place
in high school because there was no reward it felt like.
And that's a very privileged sort of mindset, right?
It is absolutely a privilege to have an education.
But when you're a teenager and you're in it,
you're not thinking like that.
Again, in retrospect, I'm so grateful for my schooling.
I'm so grateful for my teachers.
I'm so grateful that I worked as hard as I did.
But in the moment, it was like, I'm doing all this shit
and I don't feel anything.
And that led me to my first real depressive episode
in my life.
Like, my first real depressive episode
happened at the end of sophomore year.
And I think it was as a result of imposter syndrome.
In retrospect, as I learned more about myself
and more about imposter syndrome,
I realized that that's what led me
to that depressive episode.
I think there were other things going on as well socially,
you know, just being a teenager is challenging in general,
but I think that that was the biggest challenge for me.
I also think, too, that the imposter syndrome was even worse
because I was putting all of my personal worth and value
into how I performed at school.
Being a good student was what I put my worth and my value into because socially I didn't
feel valuable.
I didn't feel confident.
I was insecure about what I looked like because I was a late bloomer and so I looked younger
than everyone else and that made me feel really insecure.
So I didn't put my value in my appearance really because I didn't feel like I could.
And then personality wise, I was very insecure. I was sort of, how do I put this? Like I felt
like a weirdo kind of, like I felt weird because I've always been very outgoing and very loud and very
honest and very silly. And that's not always been warmly welcomed in my life. And now as
an adult, I mean, I've calmed down a little bit, but I've also just grown to accept that
not everyone's going to get me in a way and
still to this day sometimes people just
Don't like my personality because it's a bit big. It's a bit bigger, you know And it's maybe a bit more unorthodox in a way
anyway, so I think school was probably the first place that
My imposter syndrome showed up, but then it continued into my work life and into my career life as I've transitioned from school to that.
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This episode is brought to you by Kraft Dinner.
Adulting is tricky, okay?
It comes with freedom and parties and good things like that,
but there's still some responsibility.
Bill paying and all that stuff too.
So when you need to break free from responsibility
and experience the deep satisfaction of being you,
reach for Kraft Dinner macaroni and cheese.
Being starved for moments that bring you back to who you really are
and what you really love is no good.
That's when it's got to be Kraft Dinner.
When you got to do you, it's gotta be KD.
Shop now.
I'd say in my career, I've struggled still
with the perfectionist sort of mindset.
I'm obsessed with everything I do being perfect.
Every YouTube video I put out needs to be perfect.
Every podcast episode I put out needs to be perfect.
Every Instagram photo I put out needs to be perfect. Every podcast episode I put out needs to be perfect. Every Instagram photo I put out needs to be perfect
in some way.
Now, when I say perfect, I don't mean perfect visually.
I don't mean perfect even aesthetically always.
I mean perfect in my eyes.
It's a bit more abstract, I would say, with my career
than it is with, say, school.
Because with school, it's like, okay, you're getting graded
numerically.
You can numerically, there's a number there.
Whereas with a YouTube video or a podcast or an interview that I did or a campaign that
I creative directed or whatever it might be, like those things are not graded numerically.
Those are up to me to grade in a way, and also up to the public in a way to grade, but
I tend to rely more on my own grading system.
There have been many things that I've put out into the world that have been well received,
but I have not maybe thought they were perfect, and so I was not satisfied with them, but
I've definitely struggled with that.
I've also struggled with the expert, not feeling like an expert in everything that
I'm doing.
Like for example, I'm not the best videographer.
I'm not the best photographer.
I'm not the best video editor.
I'm not the best speaker when it comes to talking on my podcast.
I'm not the best creative director.
I'm not like the best coffee roaster.
I'm not the best entrepreneur in a way, whatever.
I'm not the best.
I don't know why the word entrepreneur is so crunch to me.
I hate using that word.
Maybe because it's been so, I don't know.
I think there's a social media impact
on the word entrepreneur that is not positive in my brain.
But anyway, I'm not the best at any of those things. I'm not an expert at any of those things. What does it
even mean to be an expert? Of course I'm not an expert in these things. Especially when
you do a lot of things, it's harder to be an expert in one thing. Like, I'm really good
at some things. I'm just okay at other things. I'm terrible at some things. I don't think
I'm an expert in anything necessarily. At least I don't feel that way.
And that has been a huge challenge for me.
My confidence in what I do is challenged constantly
by the fact that I feel like there's more to learn.
And yes, that is exciting.
And yes, I use that as motivation as well as it just simply harming me.
Like, I'm able to sort of channel it into motivation in a way,
but sometimes it rears harming me. Like I'm able to sort of channel it into motivation in a way, but sometimes it rears its ugly head and I find myself psyched out and almost paralyzed by
this feeling that I'm not an expert in anything. I'm like, well, why, what gives me the right to do
anything career wise? Because I'm not necessarily an expert in anything. Okay. So that's another
challenge I've had career wise.
And then I'd say last but not least, the super person imposter syndrome, which is basically
the belief that I must be the hardest worker or reach the highest level of achievement
possible. And if I don't, I'm a fraud. Now that is particularly toxic in life because
there's no such thing as the hardest worker.
Like what is the hardest worker?
Who is that?
I'm striving for a goal that has no end.
It has no, there's no pot of gold at the end of that rainbow.
And that's caused me to sort of never stop going,
never give myself a break,
push, push, push through. More, more, more.
And the problem with that is I actually think that ultimately makes me less productive
because that's led me to burnout time and time and time and time and time again.
Overworking myself constantly, constantly until I hit rock bottom again
and I'm left unable to do anything because I'm in such a critical mental
state from burnout that I can't do anything, right?
If I gave myself little breaks when I needed them, I wouldn't need to take super long breaks.
It's like I constantly am pushing myself through burnout.
I don't let myself be burnout as often as I should. I never feel like
I'm doing enough. And that's, I think, self-inflicted, but also as a result of hustle culture in
a way. I think most people feel like they're not doing enough. But I think the hardest
thing to navigate is accepting the fact that there is no such thing as enough. Like a good workload is sort of undefinable.
Like what even is that?
I think a lot of us are striving towards that goal
without even knowing what that is
and what that looks like and what that feels like.
And so then we just end up overworking ourselves,
assuming that that is what it means
to be working hard enough,
is when we're just never stopping. And that is what it means to be working hard enough, is when we're just never stopping.
And that is not good.
So that's how it sort of affected me in my work life
and in my school life, I guess career life as a whole.
But it's interesting because I've noticed
that I've had imposter syndrome socially as well.
Like in romantic relationships,
I tend to have imposter syndrome about being loved by a man.
If you look at the definition of imposter syndrome, it's feeling anxious and not experiencing
success internally despite being high performing in external objective ways.
I feel imposter syndrome in a relationship when the relationship is going well and the
guy I'm dating really loves me and cares for me or at least they seem to and
everything seems to be going well I will get imposter syndrome in the
relationship I doubt my abilities as a girlfriend even if on paper I'm an
incredible girlfriend okay what does it mean to be an incredible girlfriend?
Well, from a bird's eye view, it's being honest,
being fair, being loving and kind, being present,
being willing to compromise, being fun to hang out with even,
like being pleasant to be around,
being attractive to the other person.
There's nothing I can do about that.
Like being attractive, being funny, being fun to be around is sort of up to the other person, there's nothing I can do about that. Like, being attractive, being funny,
being fun to be around is sort of up to the other person
to decide, like that's sort of out of one's control.
But when you have imposter syndrome,
you feel like those things are your responsibility as well,
even though those things are just ingrained
in your personality.
That's why I mention those.
But I find myself overthinking romantic
relationships and feeling like I'm not worthy of being in a healthy relationship. So I'll
start to doubt myself. Am I not being fair enough? Am I not being kind enough? Am I not
being present enough? Am I not attractive enough? Am I not funny enough? I'm looking for the catch.
Now listen, usually there is a catch.
I've noticed in relationships there tends to be a catch when things seem too good to
be true, but they rarely are involving the things that my imposter syndrome assume they
will be, if that makes sense.
But this has led me to really become a shell of myself
in romantic relationships,
because I get so caught up in feeling like an imposter
in the relationship,
like I don't deserve to be in it,
that I end up becoming too agreeable.
I don't have a spine.
I become sort of a yes man in the relationship,
just trying to avoid any sort
of ruffling of feathers or confrontation or anything like that because I'm under the impression
that I'm on thin ice to begin with when that's not even true. There's even been times when
I've remolded who I am as a person to try to better appeal to the person that I'm dating
in attempt to feel in control of what they think of me.
Like, oh, if I become what I think they want me to be, then I don't have to worry anymore
about whether or not they think I'm attractive or funny or fun to be around or smart or this
or that because I'm curating myself for them.
And that might sound manipulative and psychotic, but it's something that happens almost subconsciously.
Like I don't even realize that I'm doing it.
I think a lot of us do that.
But ironically, I found that when I succumb to the pressures that my imposter syndrome
puts on me, the relationship ends up failing.
Okay.
Now it probably would fail anyway.
And usually it fails for other reasons as well, not just
that alone, but that is a catalyst to the relationship crumbling because you have to
be yourself and you have to be honest and you have to have a spine in a healthy relationship
and if you don't, things fall apart.
So my imposter syndrome has absolutely negatively impacted many of
my romantic relationships in the past, but I think it's also come out even in
my friendships too. You know, like I don't really need to dig into it because
it would just be rehashing what I just said about romantic relationships, but
there's a very similar sort of struggle I would say in friendships as well at
times for me. I've definitely struggled with it more in romantic relationships, but it's shown up here and there in my friendships. And last but not
least, it's shown up in my sort of lifestyle in a way. Like for example, growing up, my
dream was to have my own house. And I really like I just I dreamed forever of having my
own home that I was proud of because I grew up in a wealthier
town and the home that I lived in was not super aesthetically pleasing.
I've talked about this quite a bit.
I had a great upbringing that I definitely took for granted, but at the time I was jealous
of all my friends, you know, modern homes, new cars, et cetera.
I didn't necessarily have that with my family.
In retrospect, I should have been fucking grateful
for what I had.
I had a roof over my head, I had food,
I had presents under the tree at Christmas,
I can shut the fuck up.
However, it was still a dream of mine to have a house
that I thought was aesthetically beautiful.
That was one of my biggest dreams.
I wanted to be proud when I had people over.
I wanted all of this.
And because of my imposter syndrome,
I have never felt quite comfortable in my own home.
I've accomplished that goal.
I've purchased a home and remodeled a home
that is exactly what I dreamed of.
And I feel like an imposter in my own home a lot of times.
I feel weirdly out of place in my own home at times,
because I'm like, this feels off.
Like this doesn't feel right.
I don't feel like I should have this home.
I don't feel like I deserve it.
I don't feel like I've earned it.
And that's a weird feeling to be in your own home
and to feel like, wait, this doesn't feel quite right. I don't feel like I've earned this.
I feel like this is somebody else's house and they're going to come home any day
now and scream at me to get out. Like I feel fraudulent in my own home.
Listen,
I could go on all day explaining different examples of how imposter syndrome
shows up in my day to day life. but I feel like you get the gist.
Here's the thing though, I have noticed that it's gotten a lot better recently.
Don't get me wrong, I still have these feelings, I still struggle with these feelings, but
significantly less.
And that's sort of the whole point of this episode.
How did I improve my imposter syndrome? Well, without even intentionally trying,
I've done a few things that have really helped
to improve it.
Number one, awareness.
I learned what imposter syndrome was,
I think after high school at some point.
And ever since then, it's sort of been
in the back of my head festering. And it's taken me a few years, but knowing what it is
and understanding that it's something that I have
has helped me figure out when it's happening
so that I'm aware of it.
And I've noticed with all of my mental challenges
throughout the years that one of the most important things is awareness. Just knowing what it is, knowing what it feels like, and being
aware of it when it's happening. And I feel like this is helpful because you
can't control something unless you know where it is. Like if you don't know that
it's happening and you don't know what it's called and you don't know what it
is even supposed to feel like, how are you supposed to nail it down and fix it?
You cannot address something unless you know where it is.
So that's been the first helpful step.
I've also tried looking at things through a more analytical, technical lens.
So instead of looking at my career and my successes through an
emotional lens, I've attempted to remove the emotional lens and look at things
through a technical lens. Find the facts. What are the facts? Okay? The fact is I
was a good student. I got straight A's and that's an accomplishment. That's a
fact. In my career, instead of looking at all the stuff
I haven't done or all the stuff that maybe I failed at,
I look at all the things that I've succeeded at.
And those are pretty impressive.
That's pretty cool.
If I look at the facts around my career, I can see,
yeah, I've failed at a few things,
but I've succeeded at a lot of things.
Those are facts.
And guess what?
Everyone fails. Everyone fails at shit. Those are facts. And guess what?
Everyone fails.
Everyone fails at shit.
That's inevitable.
That's also a fact.
If you look at anyone's career on the entire planet, everyone's had failures and everyone
has had successes.
Looking at that analytically, I'm able to see clearly that I have succeeded in many
ways. When I'm in a successful romantic relationship or friendship,
I try to look at who I am in relationships and analyze it again, factually. Like what
are facts? Okay, it's a fact that I'm emotionally available for the most part. It's a fact that
I'm kind. I do the best I can to be as kind and nice and thoughtful as possible.
And if I make a mistake, I apologize without fail.
That's a fact. You know what I'm saying?
I don't know. I found that it's so helpful to look at things through a factual lens
rather than an emotional lens when you have imposter syndrome.
Because if you look at things through an emotional lens, you won't see the truth.
I mean, this is true in other areas of life as well.
A lot of times emotion will fog the truth.
So there's that.
And then another thing I do is play pretend.
You know, if something really good happens to me,
internally I might feel imposter syndrome.
I might feel inadequate, anxious, like I don't deserve it, et cetera, et cetera.
But on the outside, I pretend as though I'm proud of myself.
So if someone congratulates me, instead of saying, oh, no, no, no, no, no, I know, it's
nothing, it's nothing, blah, blah, blah, no, I don't deserve it, blah, blah, blah.
Instead of saying things along those lines, I'll say thank you and that's it's nothing. It's nothing blah blah. No, I don't deserve it blah blah blah instead of saying things along those lines
I'll say thank you and that's it and in a way that is playing pretend because what I really want to say is no
I don't deserve it. But I'll let you know I want to lean into my imposter syndrome, but instead I lie and I say thank you
I really appreciate it and I'm really happy about how things are going. Thank you
Obviously not that verbatim but but you get the idea. And you know, someone gave me advice once to smile in the mirror when I'm
sad and it will inevitably make you feel better. And that sort of stuck with me because it's
the act of pretending. When you smile in the mirror, you're pretending like everything's
fine for a brief moment and it does make you feel better. And I've applied that in so many
areas of my life. Sometimes you just need to pretend a little bit to get yourself back on track.
And I've definitely done that with my imposter syndrome. And it does help because eventually
you actually start to believe the pretend. You know what I mean? It starts as pretending,
but eventually it starts to become real. I've also gotten better at ignoring what other
people are doing because a lot
of imposter syndrome is rooted in comparison.
You know, like, oh, I should be working harder
because that person is.
Oh, I should have gotten a better grade on this test
because that person did it.
A lot of times our imposter syndrome
is made worse by others.
So I've sort of stopped paying attention
as much to what other people are doing and
tried to separate it in my brain from my own
success. Like when somebody else does better than me at something, now I'm able to be like,
fuck yeah, rock on. And it doesn't impact how I view my own success.
I think I've always been a good team player. Like I've always been
own success. I think I've always been a good team player. Like I've always been stoked for other people's successes, but it used to be that I'd be stoked for other people's successes.
And then deep down I would be ashamed of the lack of mine. But now it's more like, okay,
I'm stoked and it doesn't really impact how I view my success. And I more am competing
against myself in a way. Now that can still be toxic competing against yourself.
So you have to be careful with that.
But I think that's better than competing
against others in a way.
You need a little bit of competition though,
or else you're not gonna be motivated at all,
but it can be easily taken too far.
So I don't know, moral of that story is just kind of ignoring
what other people are doing in regards to what I'm doing,
if that makes sense. You should still pay attention to other people's successes and congratulate
them, but you can sort of ignore them in the context of your own success. And that's what
I've been working on as well.
I think one of the most significant things I've done though is put my worth in other areas. This has been so crucial for my imposter syndrome.
If all of your worth is in your success
and you have imposter syndrome, that's a losing game.
You will not win that game.
That will lead you to a very dark place
because when you have imposter syndrome,
you cannot genuinely feel proud of yourself.
That's what it is.
So no matter how successful you become,
you will never feel successful enough.
You will never feel like you've done enough.
You will never feel good enough.
That is what imposter syndrome is.
So if you're putting all your worth in your success,
when you have it, you're screwed.
I've shifted my worth to other areas.
I would say my worth nowadays is in more of like my morality and
my values, who I am as a person. Do I treat others well? Do I do the right thing? Et cetera,
et cetera. Over the last few years, that's become more of a priority for me. And I think
I'm at a place now where I'm very proud of the person that I am. I still make mistakes.
Yeah, I'm not always perfect.
I don't always make the right choices.
I don't always have the biggest smile on my face.
I don't always handle situations
as gracefully as I want to.
I'm a human, but I'm pretty proud of who I am
from a moral and value perspective.
I feel solid about it.
And I've worked really hard to get there
and it's required a lot of discipline over the years. And I've also had imposter syndrome with that,
ironically enough. Like I even still struggle with imposter syndrome around my morality and
my values and who I am as a person. But I've continued to work hard to a point where now I
feel like that is where my worth is,
that is where my value is as a human being.
And even though sometimes I have imposter syndrome about it,
I've worked so hard to be good that, I don't know,
like for some reason I've been able to combat
the imposter syndrome with that much easier
than I was with my success.
I also think too that there's a lot of reward than I was with my success.
I also think too that there's a lot of reward that comes with putting your worth and being
a good person because you make people smile, you make people laugh, you build deeper friendships.
There's like such a vivid, obvious reward there that is so fulfilling in life that it's easier to convince the imposter
syndrome to shut the fuck up when you have such clear rewards for that focus in life
that, I don't know, does that make sense?
Probably not, probably not.
But going back to my career, I've also sort of shifted my career goals. Instead of my goal being simply
just success as it was for many years because I didn't really know any better, I didn't
know that there was such a thing as a career goal that wasn't just success focused, my
career goal now is to ideally be as fulfilled as possible in my job, as well as maintaining a healthy work-life balance.
Like now, having a work-life balance
is a part of my career goal.
Like that is now the goal.
Instead of the goal being work as hard as I can
and be as successful as I can, it's like, no, no, no.
Work in a way that allows for a fulfilling life.
That's become the goal.
Now, that shift has been challenging because my brain wants to go the other direction and
say, no, you need to work harder.
No, you need to be doing more.
But having that as my goal has just led me to a lot of improvements in my imposter syndrome
because my goal is not inherently feeding my imposter syndrome.
And last but not least, I've shifted my general life goals.
My goals in life now are far different than they used to be.
I think my life goals and my career goals used to be the same, but that has shifted
as I've gotten older.
Now I have much different personal goals.
My personal goal is to build a family one day, have a little baby maybe, just a little
baby, maybe move somewhere peaceful, maybe not, but maybe eventually have a more private
life.
Not necessarily fully, like my life is very public now. Maybe one day I have a more private life and maybe start a local business when I'm a bit older
and have a family and move somewhere else.
Maybe I have a local business.
I have other goals now for my general life
that don't involve max success in my career.
So yeah, that's kind of it.
That's what I've done.
If you have imposter syndrome,
some of these things might help you, they might not.
You might have to go on your own journey
to figure out what works for you,
but it's been really a relief
to alleviate the imposter syndrome
because it bleeds into all areas of your life
in a way that is really damaging and really just shitty.
Like, it's so nice to be proud of yourself sometimes. It's such a relief not to psych
yourself out all the time and overthink everything. And I don't know. So I recommend to all of
you to look inward if you have imposter syndrome and try to figure out how to get the fuck rid of it.
Although actually, I don't think you can really get rid of it,
but how to alleviate it.
So yes, that's what I meant to say.
I invite all of you to look inward
and try to find ways to alleviate your imposter syndrome
because I do think it's possible.
We might not be able to ever fully get rid of it,
but we can get close.
And that's nice.
So that's all I have for this week.
I hope that you enjoyed this episode
and enjoyed hanging out with me.
And if you did new episodes of Anything Goes
every Thursday and Sunday,
you can check out Anything Goes on Instagram
at Anything Goes.
You can follow me on Instagram at Emma Chamberlain.
You can check out my coffee company, Chamberlain Coffee. You can order online at Instagram at Emma Chamberlain. You can check out my coffee
company, Chamberlain Coffee. You can order online at chamberlaincoffee.com or find our
store locator on chamberlaincoffee.com to see if we're in a store near you. We might
be in a store near you. So go check it out. That's all I have for today. Thank you for
listening. Thank you for hanging out. I really love you and appreciate you. And I can't wait
to talk to you soon. Bye now. TTYL. Bye.