anything goes with emma chamberlain - my vagina lol, a talk with emma

Episode Date: March 24, 2024

i love oversharing... sorry! which is why it's shocking that i have not made an episode completely about my vagina yet. well have no fear, because the day has come. i am going to be dedicating this en...tire episode to my vagina. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 I love oversharing. Sorry, I do. I love it. In fact, I think it's one of my love languages. It's not on the official list with acts of service, words of affirmation, gift giving, quality time, physical touch. It's not on that list, but it's on my list because the way that I connect with people is by oversharing, which is why it's shocking that I have not made an episode completely about my vagina yet. How has that not happened yet? All I do is share too much information online. How has this not happened yet? Well, have no fear because the day has come. I am going to be dedicating this entire episode to my vagina. Now, what sparked the idea for this
Starting point is 00:00:41 episode was all of my recent challenges with my vagina. I feel like post puberty, my vagina has been a problem area for me. And I know that I'm not the only one. Okay, vaginas are very complicated. And at least for me, there almost always seems to be something going wrong with it. Like, I don't know, it's just, it's a complicated organ. It's sensitive. It's complicated. And because not a lot of people talk about their vagina, it can be kind of scary when things go wrong with it because there aren't that many people to call. And we all know what happens when we Google our symptoms. We end up coming to a far more dramatic conclusion
Starting point is 00:01:27 than we need to, right? I think the truth is vaginas are just complicated and there's always some sort of drama going on with them. And today I'm gonna tell some of my dramatic vagina stories, starting with something that happened to me today. But let's go back in time for a minute before we discuss what happened today because this story actually starts five years ago.
Starting point is 00:01:51 This episode is brought to you by Secret. Secret deodorant gives you 72 hours of clinically proven odor protection. How epic is that? And it's free of aluminum, parabens, dyes, talc, and baking soda. It's made with pH balancing minerals and crafted with skin conditioning oils. So whether you're going on a run or you're running late, do what life throws your way
Starting point is 00:02:14 and smell like you didn't. Find secret at your nearest Walmart or shoppers drug mart today. So five years ago, I was in the shower and I was shaving my vagina. Now we all know, well, all of us who have a vagina know how complicated it is to shave a vagina. Okay? There's a lot of nooks and crannies in there. It's treacherous territory.
Starting point is 00:02:36 And when you're in a rush, you can just sort of shove the razor down there and just start going into autopilot haphazardly. And things can very easily go wrong. Okay, you have a sharp razor and you have a bunch of flaps of skin that are sensitive and just whatever. Okay, I cut my vagina with the razor on this day five years ago and I cut it sort of on the inside, okay, in between the outer labia and the inner labia, in that crease there. Sorry, this is so TMI. I cut that with a razor five years ago. And I didn't really think much of it. It kind of hurt for a second. It bled for a second. And that was sort of the end of it. And then like a
Starting point is 00:03:19 month later, the guy that I was dating at the time noticed it and was like, what the fuck is that? And I was like, oh, I don't know. And I look and it's this unhealed cut from this razor, like almost like a slice. I was like, oh, it's just a cut from the razor, blah, blah, blah. It'll heal eventually. I forget about it for probably a year. And then I start feeling like a light, very mild, sharp pain. And I take a look at it one day and I realize, holy shit, that cut is still there and it's not fully healed. What the fuck? So I start to get a little concerned. I'm like, this is a little weird.
Starting point is 00:03:56 This cut has never fully healed. It kind of makes sense because the vagina is sort of a moist environment. Yeah, it kind of makes sense that something wouldn't heal properly there, but a year? So I'm like, you know what? I'll just keep an eye on it. It doesn't seem infected or anything. I tell my mom, she's like, that's really weird, but I decided to just sort of wait it out
Starting point is 00:04:15 and see if it goes away. Fast forward, literally another year later, it's still fucking there, okay? And the problem was I kept forgetting about it because I'd go through phases where I couldn't even feel it and then I'd go through phases where I could feel it. And when I'd start to feel it again, I'd check up on it and be like, holy shit, it's still there.
Starting point is 00:04:35 Then I'd be like, all right, I'll just forget about it. So then I'd forget about it. And then I wouldn't feel it for a few months, even maybe a year. And then eventually I'm like, this thing is not going away. I need to go to the gynecologist. So I do. And what does she say to me?
Starting point is 00:04:48 She says, you just need to do a sits bath three times a day for two weeks and it'll go away. I'm so sorry. I'm just not that girl. Okay, a sits bath is like a warm bath with, I don't know, maybe she wanted to put salt in it or something, I don't know what she even wanted me to put in it, but basically like a warm sterile bath that I sit in for like 15 minutes, three times a day to help keep the cut clean so that it
Starting point is 00:05:15 could heal properly. I didn't do that. I didn't listen to her. And then another year went by and it still never went away. I ended up switching gynecologists very recently to a very, very involved, very serious gynecologist who's very proactive. And I showed her this cut and she was like, we need to cut that thing off and we need to biopsy it because that is really bad that you've had this cut in your vagina for five fucking years. What's happening? We need to cut it off so it can heal properly, but then we also need to test it to make sure that nothing's wrong with it. So that's what I had today, that surgery
Starting point is 00:05:53 to get it removed. It was a minor surgery. I didn't need to be put under anesthesia or anything. I basically just came in today, stripped down waist down, and she offered me laughing gas to sort of make me a bit loopy so that I wouldn't feel anything at all and I would be completely aloof to the whole thing. But I had a really bad experience with laughing gas when I was at the dentist in my childhood years, and it kind of traumatized me. So I decided against it. When I was at the dentist as a kid, they gave me laughing gas and I started hallucinating. Like I started seeing Sonic the Hedgehog and Pokemon
Starting point is 00:06:35 running around in front of me in the room. It was very weird and I didn't like that feeling. And I don't think it's dangerous or anything, but that's sort of disturbing. Like I'm not trying to hallucinate when I'm already in a stressful situation. So I decided against it. I'm also too anxious.
Starting point is 00:06:54 Like I don't like feeling out of control. And laughing gas sort of makes you dissociate. I already dissociate with my anxiety enough. I don't need anything that will make me dissociate more. That scares me. I don't like feeling removed from my body. I already have that feeling enough from my anxiety. Please God, I don't need anything that will make me dissociate more. In fact, I need something that will make me feel in tune with my body. Wow, what a treat that
Starting point is 00:07:18 would be. So yeah, no to the laughing gas. But I did say yes to getting the area numbed. So I didn't really know what that was going to entail. Turns out it's a huge needle filled with some sort of numbing stuff, heavy duty. The irony of it is that you want to numb the area so that you don't feel the pain. Right. But the act of getting numbed hurts so fucking bad that you wish you were numbed for that. She stuck this big, thick needle in the areas
Starting point is 00:07:53 around the vaginal cut and it hurts so fucking bad. It hurts so bad. I was like, oh my, and I have a high pain tolerance and I was losing it. I was like, I couldn, and I have a high pain tolerance. And I was losing it. I was like, I couldn't believe how painful it was. I was like, why didn't I get numbed for this? This hurts so fucking bad. But I will say, I was happy I was numbed when she pulled out this medieval looking tongue
Starting point is 00:08:20 scissor hybrid metal, it looked like metal shears. When she pulled those out and inched those closer to my vagina, I was like, well, thank God. I am so numbed up right now in my vagina that literally they could cut the whole thing off and I wouldn't even feel it. I refused to look down when she brought that thing
Starting point is 00:08:42 close to my vagina because ultimately that was the tool that they used to cut the cut off. They basically like cut the whole cut out and then bandaged it tight so that it would just it would re-heal if that makes sense. I didn't feel them cutting the actual chunk of my vagina out at all because I was so numbed up so that was amazing. But just seeing that tool get close to my vagina, I felt a little loopy ever since. Like, I don't know, there's something about a sharp metal tool going near your vagina. Wow. That is on my list of biggest fears. Oh my God. Anyway, so I didn't feel it. The piece of skin, the chunk of vagina that was cut out
Starting point is 00:09:27 was honestly pretty small. It was like the size of a pea, maybe. It was not super big, but I mean, the vagina's not that big, you know what I'm saying? Like it was maybe the same size as the clitoris. Ow, oh my God, I think, oh! Anyway, so that was that. It's gone, they're testing it right now.
Starting point is 00:09:45 We'll see what it is. Hopefully it's just an unhealed wound and it's not a sign of something else going wrong. But I'm just trying not to worry about it and that's that. That was today's vaginal drama, but there's been more recently. About a month and a half ago, I was diagnosed with PCOS, polycystic ovarian syndrome,
Starting point is 00:10:06 which if you don't know what that is, oh no, it's polycystic ovary syndrome, not ovarian. Okay, excuse me. PCOS is a condition in which the ovaries produce an abnormal amount of androgens, male sex hormones that are usually present in women in small amounts. The name polycystic ovary syndrome describes the numerous small cysts, fluid-filled sacs
Starting point is 00:10:28 that form in the ovaries. However, some women with this disorder do not have cysts while some women with the disorder do develop cysts. So I was diagnosed with that about a month ago and I found out it's the reason that for many years I've had irregular periods, cystic acne, anxiety, depression, and a slew of other issues. It could also possibly impact my fertility, which is upsetting.
Starting point is 00:10:57 It's definitely a bummer. It's common. I know a lot of girls with PCOS and I think I have a milder version of it. I don't have the cysts. I don't have all of the symptoms of PCOS, but alas, I have it. And this was a little bit less frightening for me because my mom also has PCOS. She also has endometriosis, which apparently I might also have, but I haven't been fully tested for it, whatever. My mom has PCOS. She's managed it throughout her life pretty well. She was
Starting point is 00:11:30 able to get pregnant with me pretty easily. And I think that that gives me hope in a way that hopefully I will be fertile as an adult. Oh, I am an adult. Hopefully I'll be fertile when I'm ready to have children in what, six years? Six to eight years probably. And you know, there's a lot of things that the doctor recommends when it comes to PCOS, specific ways to eat that support PCOS, certain ways to exercise that support PCOS. But she also put me on a medication that will help with my hormones to hopefully keep the PCOS in a better state because you can't heal PCOS.
Starting point is 00:12:12 There's no cure for it, but you can manage the symptoms and manage your hormones so that it doesn't impact your life as much. So she put me on this medication. Now I'm not going to share what medication it is just because I think everybody's on their own journey. And I think it's best to speak to your doctor instead of hear what somebody else is on and be like, oh, I want to do that. I just think that's a slippery slope.
Starting point is 00:12:38 I don't think it's necessary. But I did get put on this medication. And I'm very afraid of medication just because with medication there's side effects and a lot of times the medication is worth it. It's worth the risk of the side effects to heal the larger issue. But some of the side effects of the medication that I was put on are stomach issues, fast or shallow breathing, fever or chills, muscle pain and cramping, sleepiness, decreased appetite, nausea, B12 deficiency, which is already, I'm already at risk for that because I'm a vegetarian, so I don't get enough B12. You have to be careful with
Starting point is 00:13:20 drinking on this medication. You can have diarrhea. It can make your anxiety worse sometimes. It can make your depression worse sometimes. There's a lot of potential negative side effects. Now, I read this list to you and you might be thinking, Emma, those are like the side effects for all medications. Like all medications come with similar sort of risks of basically feeling sick, right? But I have been so fortunate in my life thus far that I've not had to take many medications. And so I went into having to take this medication like a little princess, like, oh my God, like what if something goes wrong?
Starting point is 00:13:57 And so for the past month, I've been in this constant state of fear that something will go wrong as a result of me taking this medication. And what's ironic about it is that I've gotten panic attacks about being on this medication. And the panic attacks can mimic the symptoms of the medication reacting badly with my system. Like when I have a panic attack, I can feel dizzy. I can feel nauseous. I can hyperventilate.
Starting point is 00:14:27 I can shake. I can feel like I'm gonna pass out. You know, all these things can happen. And so I've just been a fucking wreck, adjusting to being on a medication every single day. But I've actually been really lucky and I've had pretty much no side effects. I don't know how it's helping my hormones.
Starting point is 00:14:47 I can't exactly feel that, but hopefully it is helping. My gynecologist did say that once it really kicks in, it'll help with my anxiety, it'll help with my acne because my acne is very hormonal, it'll help with getting back to a regular period schedule, could make my periods a bit less painful. Things are really looking up for me, okay? But in lieu of that, one of the ways that my health anxiety comes out
Starting point is 00:15:16 is through constantly thinking that I'm pregnant. Now, in my defense, in my defense, I do have irregular periods as a result of my PCOS. So I'll go six weeks with no period and then suddenly I'll get it. I'll go two months without a period sometimes and then I'll get it. I'll get my period twice in a month sometimes. My periods all over the place. So I don't have the predictability of being like, oh, my period's
Starting point is 00:15:45 here. Great. Now I know I'm not pregnant. I have no way of knowing unless I actually take a pregnancy test because I'm not relying on my cycle. I don't have a reliable cycle. The reason why it's a little bit irrational that I think that I'm pregnant like once every two months is because I have an IUD. If you don't know what an IUD is, it is a T-shaped plastic frame that's inserted into the uterus. Copper wire coils around the device and produces an inflammatory reaction that is toxic to sperm and eggs, preventing pregnancy. So I have the copper IUD.
Starting point is 00:16:22 I've had it since I was 17. It's worked for me every time, but it's not 100% guaranteed. No birth control is 100% guaranteed, right? So even though I have that, and even though it's worked every time, I still constantly think I'm fucking pregnant. And it seems that I always come to the conclusion that I'm pregnant at the least convenient times. I feel like my brain does it on purpose. For example, one time I was doing a red carpet event, okay? I was fully in a gown and I had this epiphany. I've not had a period in like two months.
Starting point is 00:16:54 Where the fuck is my period? And I was really bloated that day. Like I looked pregnant actually a little bit. My lower abdomen was so distended and it was not because of food, it was because of hormones. And I was like, hold on a little bit. My lower abdomen was so distended and it was not because of food. It was because of hormones. And I was like, hold on a fucking minute. I haven't had my period in two months. And my lower abdomen is so distended that if I'm not pregnant, what the fuck is going on? Like it's not a poop in there. Like I, yeah, I pooped. That
Starting point is 00:17:18 is a baby. That's Tommy Chamberlain in there. That's fucking Paula Chamberlain in there. And so I started freaking out. Mind you, I'm like fully glammed up. I have my hair done. I have my makeup done. I'm in a gown about to go to this red carpet event and I'm like, oh my God, I need a pregnancy test for when I get back from this event because I am convinced that I am pregnant. It all came together in my brain at possibly the worst fucking time ever, when there's no possible
Starting point is 00:17:45 way for me to take a pregnancy test. I'm in, oh, I forgot to mention this, I'm in France. So I don't even know where to go to get a pregnancy test. It's also the evening time. Who knows if there's a store even open with a pregnancy test. I'm in a gown. I can't lift up the gown and pee on a pregnancy test. Like I'm already locked into this gown and I have to leave It was the worst fucking time. Anyway, someone on my team did actually get me a pregnancy test, which was so nice
Starting point is 00:18:10 It was negative. Yay, of course That was probably the worst time I've ever come to the conclusion that I've been pregnant It also often happens to me late at night can't fall asleep 2 in the morning. I'm tossing and turning all of a sudden Oh, wait a minute. I'm probably fucking pregnant. Yep I I'm probably pregnant. And I can't tell you how many times that's happened to me. And I've opened my medicine cabinet to see if I have a pregnancy test and I don't have one. So then I open a delivery app to see if there's a store open who has a pregnancy test. Sometimes there is, sometimes there isn't. Okay. Next thing I know, I'm up until four in the morning because I'm so afraid that I'm pregnant
Starting point is 00:18:45 because I hadn't had a period in six weeks, blah, blah, blah. I end up taking it negative again. But every single time I take a pregnancy test, I'm convinced that that will be the time that it's positive. I am pregnant. And every single time I have an entire existential crisis, because it's not until you're afraid that you're pregnant that you think of the weight that it bears. It's fucking heavy.
Starting point is 00:19:11 Because every year that I get older, I'm like, ah, what would I do if I got pregnant? What would I do? Like, what would I do? I wait for the results, shaking, sweating, pacing the room. And every single time it comes out negative. I feel as though I've won a sweepstakes or something. I feel like, holy shit, I feel like I'm going on a free trip to the Bahamas.
Starting point is 00:19:35 I feel like I'm getting a free cooking class from Gordon Ramsay. I feel like I've won something. I feel like life has blessed me with a treat every single time. The it's, the feeling never gets old of not being pregnant, I'll tell you that. But I'm constantly afraid of being pregnant. But you know, it's interesting because now that I've been diagnosed with PCOS and it was brought to my attention that I might not be the most fertile woman there ever was because that can impact your fertility. It's made me ponder even harder what I would do if I accidentally got pregnant because
Starting point is 00:20:12 my likelihood of getting pregnant might end up being low when I'm ready to start trying to have kids. And it's like, oh my God, well then what would I do if I accidentally got pregnant now? Oh my God, the whole thing is, it's definitely heavy. But anyway, nowadays I always have a pregnancy test around so that the spiral doesn't last too long because, yeah, it's brutal otherwise. So I mentioned my birth control, the copper IUD. Let me tell you a little bit about that.
Starting point is 00:20:42 So I got that when I was 17. I was in my first relationship. I had just lost my virginity. I was like, okay, you know what? Let's fucking do it. And I went to the gynecologist and they were like, okay, here's the deal. Hormonal birth control might not be right for you because you get migraines. Migraines run in my family. I do get migraines. I actually had one last night. I woke up at three in the morning with a migraine. It was horrific. I was very angry about that. Migraines are horrible and I avoid them at all costs because they're completely debilitating and the gynecologist was basically like, hormonal birth control can make your
Starting point is 00:21:22 migraines worse. So, you know, weigh the pros and cons of that, but it probably isn't a good idea and you should probably do something non-hormonal. And really the only option is the copper IUD. I explained it earlier. It's the T-shaped plastic frame that's inserted into the uterus and there's copper wire coiled around it. And it basically kills the sperm in the egg and it prevents pregnancy. Okay, whatever.
Starting point is 00:21:47 I didn't really know what to expect. And in fact, I wasn't really afraid because I was like, oh, they're just gonna plop something in my vagina. Like just push it in there and I'll go on my merry way. You know, it can't be too big of a deal. I'm not gonna lie. It was not all sunshine and rainbows like that. Okay, I showed up early in the morning, popped my legs open. I'm 17 years old
Starting point is 00:22:06 at the time. Anything being in my vagina at that age was a little bit frightening for me. I barely just lost my virginity. It was still foreign to have things near and in my vagina. That was still sort of a disturbing experience. So when they stuck this metal tube-like thing in my vagina to prop it open, I already knew I wasn't going to like this experience because there's something really upsetting about having like metal tools in your vagina. Like the vagina is such a sensitive area that there's something very icky about that. So it started with that. And then inserting the IUD was just like a little pinch,
Starting point is 00:22:51 wasn't really that bad actually. It got really bad after the procedure. For the following two days, I had the worst cramping I have ever experienced in my fucking life. I've broken bones. I have had really severe migraines. Yeah, I've experienced some pretty bad physical pain. This was on a whole other level, but it did only last two days.
Starting point is 00:23:21 And then the cramping sort of went away. The cramping would then come back every time I'd get a period and the cramping sort of went away. The cramping would then come back every time I'd get a period and the cramping would be so, no, let me relax actually. It wasn't as bad as when I initially got it inserted. I was beside myself. I didn't even know what the fuck to do. Like there was nothing I could do. I was taking Advil, I was taking Tylenol, I was taking everything. I was like just trying to find something that would make it better and nothing would make it better. It was like being in a torture chamber in my own body for two days straight. It was pretty horrific. The cramping with the periods following getting the IUD, let's say 30% of that pain. So still
Starting point is 00:23:56 very painful, but not nearly as painful. The cramping was a bummer, but what really was crazy was the bleeding. I used to have pretty light periods, like medium flow, okay? Nothing too crazy. After getting the copper IUD, I was gushing, gushing, gushing blood, okay? I would fill up the largest, most absorbent tampon in like 20 minutes. I was having to switch my tampon every 20 minutes. It got to a point where I had to wear period diapers. Yes, they sell those. It's like
Starting point is 00:24:33 a diaper with a built-in maxi pad in it, like a super absorbent maxi pad. Started buying those because the amount of blood, I couldn't manage the amount of blood coming out of me. It was like a huge social issue. Like I almost couldn't leave the house when I was on my period for the first six to eight months after getting the IUD because it was, the blood was so, it was so much. Let's say I would take my tampon out and get in the shower, blood everywhere. I would get out of the shower to go get a new tampon, blood all over the floor.
Starting point is 00:24:57 Like it was crazy. Hot take though, okay, hot take. It was a challenge for a while after getting the IUD. Crampy periods, super heavy, blood flow, sure. But the joy I felt from being able to just have sex and not worry about getting pregnant in relationships, not have to wear a condom. Everyone's tested. We all know we're good.
Starting point is 00:25:24 Don't need to wear a condom. Listen, you should still wear one. Everyone says, I'm so sorry. I'm not. Okay? God bless all of you wearing a condo. If I don't have to, I'm not. Okay? You all know me. Okay? I'm a boyfriend girl. I'm always in something. Unless they're cheating on me, which I wouldn't know anyway. If we're only having sex with each other, great.
Starting point is 00:25:44 Then we're all safe and Emma's IUD really gets to have its moment. What a fucking treat. What a treat I loved that and I was like, you know what it's worth it I know like all this pain all this torture for this fucking birth control and you know what it's worth it for me because I like the freedom. I love the freedom. No, I don't just like the freedom. Fuck it. I love the freedom. I do. So I have no regrets about my copper IUD, even though it was horrific. I have had a few scares though with it, like where I've thought that it's moved. Like actually kind of recently within
Starting point is 00:26:21 the last few months, I had to go to the doctor because I thought it got moved because I randomly like started bleeding and I wasn't on my period and I felt like something was sore inside. Like I was like, I feel like this shit moved. I don't know. I couldn't know for sure because I can't see in there, but I was like something feels off. Like there's something kind of cramping in there and I'm bleeding for no reason and it's not my period. So I feel like it moved. Anyway, it actually didn't and I don't know what that was. I'll never know. And then I was afraid. Imagine, okay, so then imagine me already being afraid that I'm pregnant all the time. Imagine my fear when I think, wait a minute, is my IUD in the right place? I feel like it might have gotten moved. Imagine how pregnant I thought I was that week.
Starting point is 00:27:08 The drama never ends with the vagina. Like it's never ending. Oh my God. I also recently thought I had toxic shock because toxic shock is very rare, but it's still something to consider. Toxic shock syndrome is a rare life-threatening complication of certain bacterial infections. Risk factors include recent surgery, open wounds, and the use of super absorbent tampons. A high fever, low blood sugar, vomiting, and rash are some symptoms.
Starting point is 00:27:41 Treatment includes antibiotics and possibly surgery. It can be very serious. I mean, it can kill you. And it's basically if this toxic bacteria sort of gets into your bloodstream. And according to self.com, expert analysis says the more absorbent the tampon, the more bacteria it can hold on to. That paired with a tiny tear from something like pulling out a dry tampon before it's saturated with blood can introduce the bacteria into the body. Okay, so that's sort of a rundown on toxic shock. It is very rare. It's best to just
Starting point is 00:28:16 use tampons as they're instructed, use pads as they're instructed, change them out frequently as needed. If you're doing the best that you can in using these things responsibly, you know, it's the best you can do. I thought that I started my period one time in like a heavy way. So I put in a really absorbent tampon because I was not gonna be home all day.
Starting point is 00:28:40 I was gonna be out and about working. And I was like, I can't be bleeding through my pants when I'm working today. Like, you know what I mean? I'm in a business setting. I going to be out and about working and I was like I can't be bleeding through my pants When I'm working today, like you know what I mean? I'm in a business setting. I need to be professional I'm not gonna be a Happy camper if I'm bleeding through my dress pants today, like that's just not the right vibe so I put in a super absorbent tampon literally a half an hour later, I go pee and It half pops out and I tear it out because I couldn't push it back in properly, like it wouldn't go back in. So I was like, fuck it, I'll just take it out and put it in a new one.
Starting point is 00:29:12 But when I took it out, it ripped and there was a piece of tampon in my vagina. Not very big, but big enough where I was like, oh my God, if I don't get this out, it could possibly harbor bad bacteria and give me toxic shock. I stuck my fucking finger up trying to get it out. Unsure if I was able to get it out. For days following that, I dosed my vagina every single day, just hoping that I could get it out.
Starting point is 00:29:38 If it was even still in there, I didn't know. I was so nervous about having toxic shock from having a little piece of tampon in my vagina that I gave myself a panic attack which made me feel dizzy, which made me feel lightheaded, which made me feel feverish. So then I convinced myself, okay, wait, I do have toxic shock because I have all these symptoms. No, I'm having a panic attack. But that's what's so fucking sneaky when you are an anxious person and you get panic attacks. You'll convince yourself
Starting point is 00:30:05 that something's really wrong when it's really just you having a panic attack and the symptoms are so similar that you just can't distinguish one from the other. It's absolutely horrific. Anyway, I ended up not having toxic shock. Thank God. But what I did do was give myself bacterial vaginosis in my vagina from douching it too much. I douched my vagina so much trying to clean it out, hoping that I would get that rogue piece of tampon out of my vagina.
Starting point is 00:30:33 But I did it so much that I fucked with the pH of my vagina and ultimately gave myself bacterial vaginosis. Bacterial vaginosis is a condition caused by too much of a certain bacteria in the vagina. Bacterial vaginosis happens when bacteria usually found in the vagina grow too much. This growth upsets the balance of good and bad bacteria in the vagina. Bacterial vaginosis tends to occur during childbearing years. People with bacterial vaginosis often have no symptoms. Symptoms might include thin gray white or green fluid coming from the vagina.
Starting point is 00:31:05 Other symptoms may include a foul, fishy smell from the vagina, an itchy vagina, or burning while urinating. Treatment can include prescription, cream, or gel that goes into the vagina or medicines taken by mouth. Yeah, it was pretty fucking nasty. So I got rid of that really quick. It was no problem, but it was kind of ironic that I gave myself a new vaginal problem because I was afraid of another vaginal problem.
Starting point is 00:31:30 It's like, of course, that's just how the vagina is. We can't win. Last but not least, speaking of bacterial vaginosis, let's talk about yeast infections because from ages like 17 to 19, I could not figure out why I kept getting yeast infections. And yet I was. Now, a lot of you might be thinking, "'Emma, it's because you're a stinky girl "'and you don't shower and you have bad hygiene.'"
Starting point is 00:31:56 No, shut the fuck up. I had phenomenal hygiene at the time. The worst thing that I would do is maybe wait an hour or two after, okay, maybe three hours sometimes after working out to shower. That was the worst thing I would do. That's not necessarily a crime, okay?
Starting point is 00:32:14 That's a little gross, but I would, you know, go into a workout class and then I'd go get a coffee with friends and then we'd like talk in the car for a little while and then I'd go home and I'd shower. Do I think that that was the reason why I was getting yeast infections? Probably. Is that the biggest hygienic crime you've ever heard of? No. You probably do it all the time. But you know what's weird? I'm not fully convinced it was that and I actually think it might've been coming from a man, but I'll never know for sure.
Starting point is 00:32:45 Anyway, basically, yeast infections get a bad rap, okay? Like people are like, ew, it's like a fishy cottage cheese. Like, no, it's actually not fishy. That's the misconception about a yeast infection. It doesn't smell like anything. That's bacterial vaginosis. That's a different thing. That's what reeks.
Starting point is 00:33:06 Yeast infection is different. Vaginal itching, red and inflamed vulva, thick white discharge with chunky texture, burning sensation when peeing and during sex, I was battling yeast infections for fucking years. Like it was so annoying. Like I worked so hard to get rid of them and I could never really figure out what it was. And I think in retrospect, it was not showering immediately after working out. But also I do that sometimes now
Starting point is 00:33:44 and I haven't had a yeast infection in years. I actually think it might've been coming from a guy I was talking to at the time. And I think that that is another thing that is not discussed enough about yeast infections. They can come from a dude, like it can be spread to you. I don't know, because it's like, there's kind of a correlation there that's hard to ignore. I don't know, because it's like, there's kind of a correlation there
Starting point is 00:34:05 that's hard to ignore. I don't know. I don't know. Anyway, maybe it wasn't related, but that was just horrible. It was horrible. The worst part about it is that I was constantly itchy and I was like walking around 24 hours a day with an itchy coochie. Like it was just ... And I would take supplements, I would put these like pills up my vagina that were supposed to help with, like I did everything and nothing worked, but I also used to be a lot worse about managing things, like if my mom would be like, honey,
Starting point is 00:34:35 you need to take this supplement, or you need to try this ointment, or you need to do this, or you need to do that, I'd be like, okay, and I'd do it for one week, and then I would stop doing it, and then I would convince myself that that because I did it for that one week that that was enough and that it should have worked and that the solution must be elsewhere because I tried it for a week. Like it should have worked when in reality it needed
Starting point is 00:34:57 to be an ongoing treatment. Do you see what I'm saying? So some of it might have been juvenile neglect. You give a kid a supplement and watch that sit in the cupboard for years to follow. It's like kids are like, I'm sorry. I just recently became a responsible human being when it came to tending to various bodily needs like for example, I'm supposed to take B12 and vitamin D3. Those are the supplements that I'm supposed to take B12 and vitamin D3, okay? Those are the supplements that I'm supposed to take. And I've neglected to take them ever since the doctor told me I should be taking them.
Starting point is 00:35:32 A week here, a week there, blah, blah, blah. But recently I've gotten really good about taking those supplements. She's such a bitch. I think what really helped me though is that now I actually have to take a medication every day and I have to take it Every day at the same time and now that I'm in a routine It's easy to throw other supplements in there and just do a big a big gulp of pills twice a day
Starting point is 00:35:52 You know what I mean? All of this just proves to me that it's so much better to address an issue the second it arises like I wish I would have Handled my vaginal cut when it first happened instead of waiting years to address it. It's like how much stress and anxiety would we avoid if we just handled these things the moment that they happened? But it's easy to turn a blind eye when it's not a violent issue that's begging for your attention. But it does cause an underlying anxiety like I feel a weird relief today knowing that my vagina thing is being handled. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:36:30 Anyway, so those are all my vagina stories. Hopefully you found some sort of comfort in them because we can feel very alone when it comes to our genitals, our hormones, et cetera, because it's maybe not the most discussed topic. And a lot of times we keep these things to ourselves, understandably so, you know, it's sort of private, but it is nice to know, like, these things happen to other people. I have had so much anxiety about my vagina cut,
Starting point is 00:37:00 and I asked my mom about it, I'm like, have you ever heard of anything like this? And she was telling me about a family member who had something sort of similar and was totally fine. That made me feel so much better, you know? And if you don't have a family member who also had a cut in their vagina that never healed, and maybe you have a cut in your vagina,
Starting point is 00:37:18 let me be your friend in that. Let me bring you some peace because shit like that can be very anxiety inducing and It's normal being human is Constantly taking care of your body and keeping things under control, but we all got some shit, you know Anyhow, hopefully you didn't feel too violated by me talking about my vagina if you did, I'm sorry But you know what get over it. It's just a coochie. Okay. It's no big deal You might have one if you don't have one you've probably at least seen one so fucking relax
Starting point is 00:37:51 You came out of one probably unless your mom had a c-section But yeah, go ahead and relax And that's all I have today. Thank you all for listening and hanging out I hope that you enjoyed this episode and if you did, let me know you can send me a message on Instagram at Anything Goes, or my Instagram at Emma Chamberlain. You can go ahead and follow those Instagrams at Anything Goes, at Emma Chamberlain.
Starting point is 00:38:16 New episodes of Anything Goes every Thursday and Sunday. Video episodes are exclusive to Spotify, but you can stream anywhere that you get podcasts. Check out my coffee company, Chamberlain Coffee. We are probably in a store near you if you live in the US. Albertsons, Pavilions, Walmart, Target, Whole Foods. See if we're in a store near you. There's a store locator on ChamberlainCoffee.com.
Starting point is 00:38:36 You can also order Chamberlain Coffee on ChamberlainCoffee.com. We have phenomenal coffee, matcha, accessories, all created by me and dreamed up by me. And so there's that. I love you all and I appreciate you all and thank you for hanging out and I can't wait to talk to you soon. Love you, talk to you later. Oh my God, I love you, okay, bye.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.