anything goes with emma chamberlain - the illusion of money

Episode Date: October 22, 2020

Money can be a very tricky subject. When we don’t have it, it can seem like it will solve all of our problems. But when we get it, is it really all worth it? Emma gets super passionate this week, talking through her childhood growing up around people with a lot more money than her, how her perception changed when she started making money on her own, and why she wouldn’t change a thing. Plus, questions on saving, supporting others, and she clears the air on an article written about her when it came to money struggles. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hi guys, welcome back to anything goes. Okay, so today's episode is inspired by a question that I answered in my last episode, that I cut out, because I ended up deciding that I wanted to make an entire episode about this. And the question that someone asked me was along the lines of this. Hi Emma, I'm struggling because I'm a middle class person, but I go to school with a lot of rich people and it makes me feel really bad about myself and I need help. Like how do I not look at things like that and how do I stop the jealousy, right?

And I got that question and I related to it beyond belief. And I got super passionate. Like I was like screaming when I was answering this question and I realized, you know what, let's make this into an episode because there's a lot here and I really, really wanna what, Emma, let's make this into an episode because there's a lot here and I really, really want to dig into this topic. Just the overall jealousy of wealth and the truth of it because I grew up in a very normal

family where, like, meaning my parents and I, where, you know where they were by no means rich. And my parents got divorced when I was five, so I kind of only knew them being a part, which financially can be tough, because each of them had to support themselves and me individually, rather than together. I mean, they were, of course, splitting everything that had to do with me. But like, when it came to living, food and housing and everything, like everything was, they had to do it on their own, which definitely was tougher than it would have been if they weren't divorced, right? And, you know, they also worked normal jobs. Like, they didn't have some sort of Google tech job, so they were like normal parents, but also living in

Northern California where there's a lot of money and a lot of wealth and So I just grew up with this weird complex Feeling like I was well, do you know what fuck it? let's just get into it. Let's just get into it. Let's start out with my childhood childhood, like elementary school childhood. I grew up in a very normal town, not a super wealthy town. In Northern California, it was very normal. It was middle and lower class, I would say, in the area that I grew up in initially. With my mom and dad, that's where I lived. And I went to elementary school there. And to be honest, I never had a thought of money.

Money never crossed my mind. I mean, I was a kid. And my childhood seemed super normal. And it was. My childhood was very normal. I never thought about clothes or what car my parents had. Like it just none of that mattered to me. So that's kind of how my life started.

But things all changed when my parents got divorced and my mom moved to a different town. There was about 20, 30 minutes away, where everything was very different, okay? There was a lot more wealth in this town and the overall culture and environment of this new town was very different, even though it was only 30 minutes away. There was a lot more families that had parents

that worked in tech, which is obviously a very high paying job to have. There's a lot of big houses that were super nice. A lot of people that had a lot of nice clothes, a lot of the rich moms driving the rich cars kind of vibe. There's a lot more of that. And don't get me wrong, there's of course, still people like my mom and I

that were normal and like had normal cars and like her income was normal middle class, but there was a lot more wealth there. So I went to middle school there and I remember when I went to orientation, everybody was wearing Abercrombie and Hollister and like juicy cator and hug, boots and shit, all being things that like I had never had

unless it was hand me downs for my cousins. And I was like, oh shit, I'm gonna need to keep up, huh? Like, this is different. And everybody's parents had these beautiful luxury cars and I was like, fuck, not everybody, but everybody had a new car. Like, it was very much that, right? Or at least all of the people that I wanted to be friends with.

And so, that immediately clicked in my brain and I immediately knew like, okay, I was going to need to figure out how to make this work. And so, you know, very quickly, my mom and I started going to the Hollister outlet. I remember there was an Abercrombie outlet that was like, I don't know, an hour away. We go to TJ Maxx and sometimes they'd have juicy jackets. This is not a joke. I used to get all of my juicy jackets

at Marshalls and TJ Maxx and they would have them there and I'd be like, wait, and they would be like $25 and I was like, this is amazing. And so I was kind of like faking it, right? So that I could fit in. And when Christmas would roll around, the only things on my Christmas list would be like a pair of hug boots and a special North Face jacket

that everybody else had so that I could fit in. And I think that that's when things started to get weird for me. And then I started making friends. And I started going to my friends' houses and they all had these big, beautiful houses. friends' houses, and they all had these big, beautiful houses. When, at the time, I was living in an apartment with my mom that was kind of dated, you know, in a sense, and I remember my biggest insecurity being that there was no front lawn on this apartment. There was just a dirt patch. And arguably it was the least attractive apartment

on the street. And that bugged me because, on the other hand, all my friends had the nicest houses on their street a lot of the times, or at least one of them, one of that nicest. And so that was like weird for me. And I was embarrassed to invite people over to my home because I was like embarrassed to be completely honest and I was mortified and I especially knew that I was playing the game right right like I

Had all the Abercrombie jeans. I had all the juicy jackets. I had the ugly but it was because I was Playing the game, you know what I mean? It was like I had to wait until Christmas to get ugly boots Which is still getting ugly boots their expensive ass shoes My mom was working her ass off, and my dad was working their ass, they were working their asses off so that I could have those little things that completed the story for me.

Yet, I was embarrassed and almost angry at my parents because I was putting on a show and had this whole facade going on like I was one of them. When in reality, no, like, you know, I was going on a show and had this whole facade going on like I was one of them When in reality, no like you know, I was going to the outlet. I was like, you know Having to wait until it was like a birthday or Christmas to get the things that they would just get on a day-to-day You know what I mean? And so That made me angry because I'm like fuck what I'm faking. I feel like I have this fake identity of like this wealth.

I wanna look like I'm wealthy so that I fit in with these kids. When in reality, my family's doing absolutely just fine, but like, I don't have that amount of money. I don't have that amount of freedom. You know, my family can't go out to dinner every night of the week because that's fucking expensive. And this was when I kind of started to realize like,

my family has to budget things. And it felt like my friends' families didn't have to budget. They just got to do whatever they wanted with their money. They were going on these vacations all the time. They had like their lake house. They had this, they had that. And for me, I'm like, my family can't just do that. Like we have to budget things out.

And then to me budgeting money. So like, you know, being smart about when we go shopping or being smart about when we go to the movies or being smart about when we go out to eat all of those things, all of those things became associated with me feeling like a victim. Like I don't have this financial freedom. I didn't realize that 90% of the world doesn't have financial freedom and 90% of the world has to be budgeting shit out But I didn't know that because I was in this wealthy environment and you know in middle school is pretty bad, but High school was when it got really bad My throat strike is I'm like scream talking. I'll slow down

High school is worse because I decided to go to private school and I'm like scream talking. I'll slow down. High school is worse because I decided to go to private school. And with private school, there's a tuition. And the tuition for my school was, you know, a pretty decent amount. Obviously my family couldn't afford that. So we applied for financial aid and we got it. Woo. And at that time, I actually had gotten a lot more comfortable with my financial standing because I had really good friends going into high school.

I had two best friends at the time that I felt accepted me for who I was and never judged me and like had grew up going over to my place and like a lot of my friends actually really liked my mom and I's apartment because it was really cozy and warm and homey and you know shitty because we had downstairs neighbors so like we had to be quiet constantly in tiptoe around our apartment. But like you know despite that it was really fun to have friends over and stuff. And I felt good about it. I wasn't weirded out. Also, I felt like, at that time, my mom had gotten a new job

and things were just going really well. So, I didn't feel as insecure about money and about my family's, maybe, lack of money in comparison to everyone else. I feel like I had found more of my identity and it had nothing to do with money. But I went to high school and immediately when I got there,

like the whole friend group thing switched up. I kind of drifted away from my two best friends that I had went to school with. We started the high school together. We all kind of went our separate ways, and I started making new friends, and these friends were even more wealthy than who I was friends with in say middle school, right?

I mean, these friends were like, their families were rich, rich, and it's because I was going to a private Catholic school, like, yes, you're going to have some really rich kids. And it was because the school that I went to was kind of close to this really wealthy town that's all mansions, all mansions, like these massive estates everywhere. And a lot of those kids ended up trickling to my school. So I had a lot of wealth at this school. And mind you, I'm still at a very similar financial standing

to when I was in middle school and whatever. So it was even crazier for me to see. So I'm going to these kids' houses. They have designer bags. They're shopping at expensive stores. They're going to expensive dinners all the time with their family. They're going to these expensive dinners all the time with their family, they're going to these, on these crazy European vacations,

their families have like planes, private planes, and fucking some of them, not all of them, but there is like a few that fucking had private jets. Okay, that's like what we were dealing with here. And mind you, I had financial aid. So I'm dealing with kids that like, are paying full tuition for the school, whereas I'm paying like, I don't know,

like a very small portion of what they were paying. I need water, I'm screaming, beer be. Okay, I'm back. I accidentally stopped the recording, which scared the shit out of me because I thought I deleted it, but I didn't. Anyway, we're talking about some wealthy ass kids, all right? And you can only imagine I immediately was like,

oh no, like like this is bad. And all the kids, when we all started getting cars, I got my mom Subaru, which was a great car, relatively new at the time, on like three or four years old, fully paid off so that I didn't have to pay for it, because she like got it paid off from her work or something. So I got this car completely for free as my first car. Amazing, amazing thing, so grateful for that.

Yet I still was like angry that I didn't get an outy for my birthday. And luckily at school, we all wore uniforms. So when it came to like clothes and stuff, it didn't really matter as much. Like, I fit in just fine when it came to all that, but it was really tough being surrounded by that level of wealth on a day to day basis because kids were always talking about what purse they were going to get for Christmas or what this or that they're gonna get for Christmas. Mind you, I'd never been into a fucking designer store in my life, okay? So I'm just like, so out of my element here, and listen, it's not those kids, those girls' faults

that they were born into money. Their parents had extremely high paying jobs and they were born into money. Their parents had extremely high paying jobs, and they were born into it. Is that their fault? No. But not only did I resent them, but I also resented my own parents for not choosing a higher paying job, as if it was fucking up to them. Or I resented them because they both had to support

themselves individually, which made it harder to have you know say a big house like my mom Lived in an apartment because that was what she could afford because it's not easy to just go and buy a house in the Bay area when it is way overpriced and in general it's hard to Just go buy a house Straight out of a divorce, like what the fuck did I expect? Not to mention, I had a roof over my heads and I had two extremely loving patient parents that worked their asses off to give me everything that I had and I had more than enough, but because I was

sitting next to somebody who was a private jet in English class, or sitting next to somebody that had a fucking Louis Vuitton, pencil bag, in math, I felt like I was a victim. I felt like I was so unfortunate. When in reality, I had everything that I needed and more right at home. And I had everything that I needed.

I had a computer for school. I had a backpack. I had the uniforms. I was going to an amazing school. And even though I was on financial aid, my parents still had to pay for that school to a certain extent. It wasn't like it was completely free.

Like they still had to pay for that school to a certain extent. It wasn't like it was completely free. Like they still had to pay. I had more than enough. But because I was spending all of my time comparing myself to these wealthy girls, I didn't appreciate what I had and I resented all of them. And it was so beyond toxic. And luckily by sophomore junior year, I feel like it got a lot better just because I found myself in a way and I just kind of started to see through all of it so it's not like it lasted the whole high school experience but definitely

freshman year was a tough one for me. Then let's get to when I started making my own money. This episode is brought to when I started making my own money. This episode is brought to you by State Farm. There's no instruction manual when it comes to being an adult. Sometimes I lay away get-night rehashing something I said earlier that day, or lay in bed at night thinking about what the future holds. I know I'm not the only one going through a lot of what ifs. Like, what if I get into a fender bender? Or what if my home gets broken into? But State Farm can help you with some of those big what ifs.

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to do is choose from one of their beautifully designed templates as a starting off point. Then, add whatever you need to show off your ideas to get your side hustle on. You've got all the tools you need to sell products, schedule appointments, and send email campaigns to your mailing list. Plus, everything is optimized for mobile, so it looks just as good on a phone as it does on a desktop. Check out squarespace.com for more features and inspiration and when you're ready to build your site. Use the offer code Emma for 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain.

So, I was under this whole impression that I was, in listen, when I'm this whole, I was under this whole impression that I was, and listen, when I'm describing this, I'm not proud of this. I thought of myself as a massive victim. And listen, there were money struggles in my family as there are in most families, even the really, really wealthy ones. Like, you know, there were times when like money was tighter than other times.

There were times when, you know, money was really low. And there were times when money was comfortable. And that's normal. Okay. At one point, you know, I don't want to get into that, but there was there was some struggles There was definitely some struggles and there were definitely some really low points But overall I always had food on the table I always had a roof over my head. I always had a car to drive me to school and my parents made that shit happen and they worked their asses off and my mom got a new job and my dad You know worked as hard as he could While still having a job that allowed him to spend time with me and

Like I had everything I could have ever wanted yet. I was still a little brat and I still wanted more, okay? As they say in the Coraline movie, it's funny, this actually does relate to Coraline. How Coraline, if you've ever watched this movie, basically I don't wanna spoil it, but basically she lives a normal life in her parents. There's like normal family struggles that go on with her parents and money and things like that. And she finds a secret portal that takes her to another dimension where there's

an identical family to the one that she has at home except it's perfect. It's exactly what she wishes that her family was. You know, infinite money, yummy food that her parents cook. Her parents have cool jobs and there's a beautiful garden and everything's beautiful. But at the end of the movie, it turns out that all of that was fake and her parents were, they were evil and they were just trying to kidnap her. Those parents that seemed so perfect in the other dimension. And I remember it says something and has a line in it about like how Coraline always wanted

more, you know, and be careful what you wish for. And that's exactly what I ended up realizing is that it looks so great, right? This wealth seems like it can fix everything. It's like if I had more money, I could buy this type of food. If I had more money, I could buy this type of clothes and I could do this to my hair and I'd look like this

and I could buy better makeup and I could buy better this or better that and I could go travel and do this and that. It makes it seem like, okay, well obviously it buy you happiness, duh, the fuck, like it seems so obvious that money would make you happy. And I was so convinced of this, nobody could fucking shake my view. I hated the wealthy, I hated anybody who had more money than me, and would like rub it in my face whether they meant to or not. I hated it.

Okay, and I hated people that had money, and I thought that they were evil, and I thought that their life was too easy, and that they should all shut up. That's truly, I was so jaded about it. Okay, but then I made my own money. that they should all shut up. That's truly, I was so jaded about it, okay? But then I made my own money. And, you know, I had a very weird, the way that I, you know, I made my YouTube channel. I never expected to make money from it. I didn't even realize that people

were really making money from it. I like, didn't, I mean, I knew that you could monetize your channel, but I was like, okay, maybe if you actually like, bucks here and there, like whatever, I didn't realize that it was like a full career, okay? I mean, I kind of knew that, but I like didn't expect it to be that for me. I was just doing it for fun. But, you know, six months in, I was making enough money to support myself outside of my parents where I didn't need to ask my parents to pay for anything anymore. And it was amazing because I was like, I can't give myself everything that I've been begging

my parents for in the braddiest way possible. And this is great. And so that actually really helped in my relationship with my parents. And so I started to make money. And this is great. And so that actually really helped with my relationship with my parents. And so I started to make money. And this was great. And then things blew up and whatever. And I was able to move out.

And then, at a certain point, I was making the money that I had been envying my entire life. And to this day, I can't comprehend it because my brain just will never be able to understand how that happened. Like, I, listen, I'm in disbelief, I don't understand how this happened.

I am beyond grateful for it. I am so beyond grateful for it. I am so beyond grateful for it. But what's so interesting is what I've learned about money and envying wealth and all of that. And I feel like, you know, some people might be like, well, it's easy for you to fucking say that, you know, money doesn't bring you happiness. Cause now you support yourself and you have the money that you were fucking envying, which I hate to say, because that's so annoying. And I want to punch myself in the face.

Like, it's annoying, because money is touchy. And that's why I avoided making this episode. But I feel like it's so important, because what I've learned from being on both sides of this, right? I didn't grow up with this, so I'm new to this. This is new for me. I've never been able to, like I've never, like, you know, I got my first car and it was a Mercedes and I was like, this is insane.

Like this is so weird. I mean, I kept my fucking super as long as I could and then that thing turned into a piece of shit. But like, I think the second I started to make money and it was in my bank account, I realized, all of these materialistic things, they mean nothing. And the money itself is necessary. It's necessary and it's incredible to have.

And it's, you know, whatever. But I struggle now just as much, if not more than I did when I was living with my family and we just had a normal amount of money. Nothing happened. There was no like hitting a Nirvana with this. I expected that like me making this amount of money would change my life in a way that was made me feel ethereal. I thought that having money would make you feel ethereal and like, you know, nothing whatever. No,

because it can enhance your life. Money can enhance your life. You know, it gives you freedom to travel and, you know, to do whatever. But at the end of the day, there's a bigger picture. Money doesn't matter if you don't have people in your life that you love and things that you care about and a life that is fulfilling. Money doesn't fulfill you. You can use your money to make a

fulfilling life, but without people that you love and shit like that, it means nothing. And I never realized that because I had to rebuild relationships with my parents, you know, after being a brat for so many years, you know, it's been a working, it's been a working progress. You know, I still feel terrible for some of the ways that I, you know, treated them, I didn't treat them terribly, but like, I didn't know any better. So I was asking them and begging them for things

when they were working their ass off and giving me more than I needed as it was, and I still was asking for more, I have incredible guilt about that. My parents forgive me. They totally understand. They don't have any kind of resentment towards me for that, but I resent myself for that, right? There's a lot of growing that I still need to do and a lot of with them, right? To prove to them that I'm sorry for that.

And I don't even think that they expect that, but I feel this guilt because I didn't understand that none of this shit mattered. And it's funny because my dad actually grew up in a family that had money. His dad had a very well-paying job and they lived in a nice beautiful big house. And then my dad decided when I was younger, Well-paying job and they lived in a nice beautiful big house and

then my dad decided when I was younger to Quit his kind of nine to five if you will and become an artist even though that was a financial risk Right because when you do a creative job and you become self-employed there's a lot more risk in it There's no salary. there's no guaranteed tomorrow, it's like all in the air. And he took that risk because he knew that it would make him happier and he knew it would make him a better dad.

And yet, there's a chance he might make less money, he might make more money. There's nothing is guaranteed, okay? But he decided to do that because he knew that it would make him happier, him healthier, because his job was very labor intensive and it would make him a better dad. And so he prioritized that over having money for not only me, but also for himself.

He was taking that risk because he knew that his quality of life was going to be better. He was going to be able to spend more time with me. And that's a very selfless thing to do and a very smart thing to do. He knew because he grew up with money that it doesn't mean anything. So he made the decision to potentially make less money or to potentially take a huge financial risk because he knew that that's not the cause that life doesn't have a purpose just because there's money in it and I wish I would have taken it to his advice sooner because you know he's one of the happiest most fulfilled people that I know because his job allows him to have free time his job allows him to do

what he loves every single day and then certainty of it and the fluctuation within it. Yeah, it can be tough, but at the end of the day, like he's doing what he loves and the money doesn't matter to him. He has enough money to live the life that he wants to live and that's that and that he doesn't need more.

He doesn't need excess. You only, you don't need a lot. You need a roof over your head. You need food and you need good people. And you need money to put into your savings if possible. But even then, it's like you don't need an excess. People think that excess will bring them happiness. If I have that bag, if I have that outfit,

if I get to go to this restaurant twice a week that's extremely expensive, I'm gonna be happy. No, my dad, you know, when he wants to go out to eat, he'll go get a fucking $3 burrito and it's delicious! Or he'll go get like, he'll fucking make himself something at home that he enjoys. It doesn't matter, going to the nicest restaurant in your town doesn't bring you anything. It's about making life enjoyable with your circumstance.

And yes, money can give you opportunity. And I understand that and I see that. But I wish that I would have seen back then that I had such a beautiful life right in front of me. My parents both had jobs that allowed them to spend a lot of time with me. There's a lot of kids that have really wealthy parents that have like nannies and they never see their family

because their parents are working and traveling constantly. But they, you know, and they're in this big huge house alone with no family because their parents are working every day, day and night to give the kids this, you know, lavish lifestyle, but they don't have their parents. They don't have that relationship with their parents. I got to have such a beautiful relationship and such an intimate relationship with my parents that was so close because we lived in these small spaces together where, you know, one on one, and they were home a lot of the times. And that's a beautiful

thing. You know what I mean? I used to envy kids that had stay at home moms, but my mom got to be home like, you know what, after six, whatever. If I needed to go home by myself, like it's like, it's all about your circumstance. There's pros and cons to everything. And I had a very, I have a very amazing life and I had a very amazing life back then.

And I did not appreciate it and I wanna punch myself in the head for being as materialistic and dumb as I was. At the same time, I didn't know any better. How was I supposed to know that the wealthy life that I was envying was just as flawed as my own life? Every single person's life is flawed. Would I wanna have one of their lives?

No, they don't even, they've talked to their dad once in that month because their dad had been in Tokyo all month on a business trip. I don't wish that for myself. I love the fact that my dad is an artist and I have a creative household. And yeah, we made me made less money, but we made enough money.

We got to go to San Francisco and go and walk around and like, go and get coffee together. That's such a beautiful thing and such a beautiful memory that those kids didn't get to have with their dads. Yeah, maybe they got to throw the craziest pool party of all 2016, but like there's a piece of their life that they might envy about mine and I never realized that until I got older. This episode is brought to you by LiquidIV. You might think that hydration is only necessary after intense crazy activities, like working

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all this money, none of the money matters. When I have toxic people in my life, the money doesn't matter. I hate my life just as much as the next guy and even more than I did when I was younger and I was in high school and I had a great group of friends. Because there was a period of time in high school. I struggled in high school. There was peaks and there was low, low points with friendships.

But like, if I compare the time in high school where I had a very good group of friends to a time now, me and L.A. with everything I could have ever dreamed of in more, but I have toxic friends in my life Let's say let's compare those two. I was way happier in high school When I had those healthy friends and yeah, whatever I I Blubba blah there was flaws at that time too, but I

Have everything I could have ever dreamed of now and yet if I have a few bad apples in my friend group My mental health will struggle just as much, or if not even more, because I'm like, Emma, you have everything that you want, everything you've ever wanted, you little bitch, okay? And you still feel sad. What else could you fucking want? What else could you want? You idiot. But it's true.

Money means... I can't say it means nothing, but money is not what it seems to be. It's an illusion and you know I I still Struggle with the illusion. I I hate people that are super flashy I And like listen, you know I Understand there's certain people that really enjoy expensive things and they really love that. And don't get me wrong, I appreciate

things that are expensive and stuff like that, but not as a status symbol. And I found that, you know, living in L.A. there's so many people that are so obsessed with the image that they put out, right? Like I want to seem super rich and wealthy and successful and like, you know, I want to seem like this. It's all so empty and I think that that's why, you know, there's a way to do it that's respectable. And I think that some people are just so flashy about it. And I just want everybody to know from the inside. If you see a celebrity being all flashy and shit with their money and stuff, I can guarantee

it's not as smooth sailing as you think. 90% of the time. It's all an illusion. Money is an illusion. People with their crazy sports cars and their expensive blinged out watches and their crazy big mansions, it's not as smooth sailing as you think. And also, it's not as fun as you think. The excitement of those things wear off and then you're left with your life. And what's there, right? The excitement of these expensive, crazy, nice things, it wears off.

And that's why people get addicted to buying these luxury things because they're like when they're in this position of having money that they never expected to have, they're like, okay, well, I'm just gonna go buy whatever the fuck I want all the time. Well, once the excitement of your new Cartier bracelet wears off, what do you have left? You might as well go buy a fucking fake one

because it's interchangeable. It doesn't bring you any happiness. For me, if I buy something nice for myself, it's because I love it, and it's because I love it and it's because I genuinely really like it and will use it and I appreciate the craft of what it is. And that's when I spend my money on something nice. I'm not spending it to prove something or to get this weird dopamine rush that, you know, people get from that.

It's all so surface level and empty. None of it means anything. The only time it means something is if it actually does mean something to you, I could buy a $3 shirt from the thrift store that means just as much to me as like a really nice pair of sunglasses that I've wanted for a really long time. It's just something that I like. It's not about the status symbol behind it, you know? And it's all empty.

Trust me. The moral of the story is, you can't control the life that you were born into. You can't control what cards you were dealt. Always remember that somebody's looking at you and wishes they had something that you had. While you're wishing that you had their big mansion, they're wishing that they had the relationship with your parents that you have, or while you're wishing that you had the same car as them, their new Audi, they're wishing that they had your sense in fashion.

The grass is always greener. And all of this doesn't matter. You make the most of the life that you have. You enjoy the small little things. And remember that your parents work so hard for you. And yes, they brought you onto this earth, but they're doing their best. Okay? Don't you think your parents would have a big mansion too if they could? It's not their fault.

And also, there's something so nice about a normal life. It like this crazy wealthy image is great in all, but like having a cute house on a cute street or having a comfortable cozy apartment can be like equally as amazing. Like, I live in a house now that I could have only dream to live in because I grew up primarily in an apartment with my mom because it was closer to my school and I also my dad had a house as well.

But my mom's apartment was, you know, as I mentioned earlier, it was not, it was, it was definitely a huge struggle. I think mainly because, you know, aesthetically it wasn't so great from the outside. My mom did a great job decorating it, but but you know, it was not the cutest thing, not the nicest looking thing. And me and her have talked about this and I got her permission to talk about this. And we both, you know, it was not the ideal situation

for either of us. Neither of us were super pumped about this apartment. Also because we had neighbors that, you know, were really fucked up. I mean, they were like not good. Like they were constantly smoking weed and it was coming up into our apartment. Our apartment always smelled like weed. And you know, we always would fight with the neighbors.

And because they would yell at me because they would say that I was stomping too loud. But really, I was just walking normally and there was just no building insulation. But they would scream up and hit our fucking and hit their ceiling and our floor with a broom and scream at us and bang on our front door and harass us about being too loud when in reality it was just like, yeah, I'm a fucking 12 year old and I'm walking around with a heavy foot. That's not my fault, whatever. And we would also like, there was mold in this apartment. It was not the ideal situation, but it was also not terrible.

It was like, it was cute and it had big windows and the cats loved it and blah, blah, blah. And so, it was a great location and so we stayed there for a really long time. But it was tough for my mom and I. And we both talked about this. And I called her, I want you to know, I talked to both of my parents about this. And I called her. I want you to know.

I talked to both of my parents about this. I got their permission. I told them what I was going to talk about. And they were all born on board. And whatever. I'm not talking about this without their consent. But anyway, it was always my dream to live in a house where I could make as much noise as I wanted,

not be harassed by my neighbors, where I could have friends over and wouldn't get the police called on me and my friends just hang out talking in a room at like nine p.m. because that was always an issue for my neighbors. Like that was always my dream to have a space where I felt safe to like do whatever I wanted and like have friends over and have a sleep over

on the weekends if I wanted that was never an option and it's crazy because now I've moved to A house where I have all of those things yet for some reason I Almost feel more comfortable in in apartment setting like my friends all my friends live in apartments, and weirdly enough, like, I like going over and hanging out there almost better,

because I like the coziness of it, and there's something comforting about it. So see what I'm saying? The grass is always fucking greener. Like, I'm not kidding, every time someone asks me, like, hey, my place are yours. I'm like, I want to go to yours because I genuinely prefer the feeling of the closeness of being in a apartment. It just feels more cozy. And there's something I like about it.

And there's something that's comforting about it. I don't know if it's because I grew up in an apartment. And so that's just kind of what I'm used to. And now I'm living in a house. It's like, I just, it's weird for me. I don't know what the mentality, I don't know what my issue is with it And now I'm living in a house. It's like, I just, it's weird for me. I don't know what the mentality, I don't know what my issue is with it, but that's, there it is. It's like the grass is always greener. And the moral of all this is appreciate what you have

and embrace the struggle of day to day life and embrace the stories. And, you know, like I have such good memories from the most traumatizing moments, you know, of my childhood, because they're memories that like shaped me. I wouldn't be who I am if I didn't experience every single thing that I experienced.

I have no regrets. I'm so glad that everything panned out the way that it did and I'm so grateful that everything panned out the way that it did. And I'm so grateful that I have been so fortunate to support myself and have the life that I have now. I am beyond grateful and I wouldn't have it without you guys supporting me and coming back every week, every month, whenever to support me. And always being on my team.

And I appreciate you guys more than you know, because being able to have this financial freedom in a sense has given me the ability to give opportunities to my parents and take them on trips with me and give them gifts that I only could have dreamed of giving them when I was younger. And those are things that are so amazing to me.

Those are the things about money that make me happy that do enhance my life and So I just want to thank you guys so much and also, you know Hopefully this lifted the veil on the truth of it all and that it really Isn't what it looks like and 99% of it isn't illusion On that note I'm gonna answer a few questions and then I'm going to wrap it up because my god, did I just rant? I blacked out. I have no idea what the fuck I talked about. So hopefully that was a good episode. Do you save money for the future if YouTube doesn't work out? Yes, this has always been

a huge priority to me. I mean, there's a balance with, you know, spending money on things that you enjoy. Like I enjoy buying thrifting, like I enjoy buying clothes. Like that's something that I really enjoy doing, right? Like I like buying vintage clothing, I like that, like I like collecting. That's a passion of mine, right? So I'm okay with spending money on that. But like I don't care about having a crazy nice car. So like I'm just leasing my car for now

and I only need one car and that's fine with me. I invested in real estate because I was like, okay, I'm gonna do this because this will hopefully benefit me in the future. And I'm also investing my money in other things as well. Behind the scenes, I've hired someone to do that because I don't know how the fuck to do that. But I've been trying my best to do that.

My parents are great at helping me with all of this. So I've been making it a huge priority that I saved my money and I'm smart with my money. But also, I still enjoy myself because you do have to enjoy yourself to a certain extent. It's like, money is there to be saved and spent, not just saved. You have to, like, you have to enjoy life. And if you want to go out to a nice restaurant and you have the money to do it, or if you want to buy somebody a nice gift and you have

the money to do it, sometimes that brings you more happiness than, you know, saving that money ever could have. And so I think that it's important to find what things bring you happiness. Like, if going on a trip and saving up for that and using that money on that instead of on something else is like important to you, you do that as long as you're being smart about it. And as long as you're putting a certain amount of money into savings every month, I think that that's really important if possible. Like, obviously those things are very important

But you also have to have you know you also it's if you can you know you should Use your money to it's because I always was so afraid of spending money I had like a phobia of it and still to this day I kind of do because I'm worried of running out and You know my parents have explained to me like this is how you can budget yourself out So that you know you don't have to worry and that whatever and just be smart. And it's hard and it's like kind of a confusing process to figure out like, okay, what do I spend my money on

and what is not worth spending my money on? And what's a good investment and what isn't? And I think that that's all just talking to people that know more than you and blah, blah, blah and just hiring a professional to run your money so that you can ensure that your money is being handled safely and whatever. So that's what I do.

But someone said, I'm 16 and I kind of feel the need to think about saving money to give my parents when they retire. I don't know if this is too young to start saving for them or even if I'm supposed to. Do you have some advice? PSA love you. Am I always make my day? Thank you. I love you and you also make my day.

So most adults have a retirement account and I'm assuming that your parents probably do too. That's a conversation that you need to have with them. You know, being like, do you guys have a retirement? What do you guys plan on doing, blah, blah, blah? But you are 16 years old and, you know, I think right now, you should be focusing on, you know, school and figuring out what you wanna do with your life

and, you know, you're a minor. Let your parents worry about themselves, they are adults. And when you get older, you can worry about stuff like that. I really don't think 16 is a necessary age to start worrying about your parents retiring, because I bet that they have a plan for that. And if they don't, that's not your burden to take on. You're your own human being.

And obviously, if you get to a point at some point as an adult where you can help support your parents, if they need it, that's amazing. But work on making money for you first because you are so young. This is not a burden that you need to take on. Somebody said, when coming out of high school, how did you manage your money with bills and taxes? Because I honestly have no clue.

I love you and your podcast and advice through them or such a great help and gives me so much confidence. You're literally my therapist, LLLI love you. I love you so much. I'm so glad to hear that. For me, it was definitely leaning on the adults in my life. I asked my parents for advice and they've been helping me to this day. I mean, I'm 19, right?

I'm still new to me to this day. I mean I'm 19 right I'm still New to all this shit and so you know really leaning on them and having them help me but also finding professionals To help me you know, there's so many amazing Companies that can help you with your taxes and can help you with you know filing things and blah blah blah and like so much So much information on the internet too to just Google you know the filing things and blah, blah, blah. And like so much information on the internet too to just Google, you know, the most random mundane things. But I think really leaning on your parents or, you know, any adult in your life.

Because they already know. So it's almost like the best way to learn is from word of mouth. I feel like from an adult. Because you don't even know where to start when you're kid. I still am confused by 90% of this. Like I don't understand.

My taxes are handled by the guy that does my taxes. Like I don't understand any of it. And when the money goes out of my account, it hurted me. And that's all I know, and it sucks. But I hire a professional so that I can be, I can have the most responsible. I wanna make sure that I'm doing my taxes right.

You know what I mean? Like I don't want to fuck it up because I don't know what I'm doing and I don't want to accidentally commit tax fraud. So yeah. Somebody said, how can I make sure that I'm saving a good chunk of money each week for my paycheck? What I do personally is I agreed upon a certain amount Personally, is I agreed upon a certain amount

with my parents and some professionals, about how much money I should be setting aside every month, every paycheck I get, what percent of that should be going into an account somewhere far away from me that I cannot touch. And so I think it's about agreeing with yourself. Let's say your paycheck, I'm gonna use, this is obviously not an accurate paycheck, but I'm using it as an example.

Let's say you got $10 every month. Obviously that's not accurate at all, but you get what I'm saying. Let's say you got $10 every month, and let's say you decided, okay, every month, I'm gonna put three of those dollars into a savings account, and then I'm gonna save that extra seven

for my day-to-day life, where I can just spend it freely as I want. Boom. Agree on a solid amount for every single month. So that you, it's routine and you know how much money you're gonna have for spending that month, every month, and it's consistent and it clicks in your brain

and it becomes a habit, right? It becomes a habit to put that $3 into the savings account every month. And you know that that is how that's gonna be. That's the best way. Somebody said, what's the best thing that you've ever spent money on? I think that my favorite thing to spend money on

is gifts for others and traveling, to be honest. And also, I think buying my house because that was such a lifelong dream for me to have like a space that I was proud of because I think that as a kid, I was always so insecure about where I lived. And always so embarrassed of it. And so my goal as a kid was always,

I would always tell myself like, Emma, you're gonna live in a beautiful house one day that you're proud to invite people over too. And I have that now, and it's so cool because I love having people over here, obviously right now, it's kind of a bummer because we can't really have, I can't have people over really, but just even

my closest friends and whatever, and even when my family comes to visit, if they come to visit, it's nice to have a place that I'm proud of to host people at, because that's something I always wanted as a kid. And so that has been such an amazing thing for me and so cool and I'm just so grateful that I've been able to accomplish that goal and so that.

But also, I love getting gifts for people. I love surprising people with things. I love all of that shit. And I like to also like, on a day to day, like if I go get coffee with my friends or something, when you really love somebody, you wanna provide for them in a sense. And so for me, like buying things for people that I love

is like, you know, just buying, even if it's just as simple as like buying them lunch or something Like I just I feel good when I do that and it feels good to feel like I'm taking care of someone And it's weird, but like or even just a coffee or like I Don't know just feels good and obviously, you know You need to leave it open for other people to do that for you too because I think for other people it feels good for them too But you know what I mean. So yeah, and traveling, I think traveling is very important. Spending money on traveling, I think it's something that, you know, it's

a memory, it's an experience, it's something that helps you grow as a person in a way because you're experiencing new things in blah blah blah and I like that. I mean, you don't need that to grow as a person, but I think for me, sometimes I need it because I'm so stuck in LA in the head space here that like going and traveling to like a little remote beach town for me is sometimes exactly what I need. And it's not even necessarily that expensive,

but it's like, I need that to reset my brain. And so that's something that is very important to me. I also like spending money on clothes because clothes is something that I'm passionate about collecting. You know, I'm passionate about finding cool pieces and cool vintage pieces and, you know, blah, blah, blah. And like that's something that also, you know, means a lot to me. So I just remembered one thing that I forgot to talk about.

And I want to bring it up before I end this because I just want to set the record straight. Because this also really upset me, and I feel like I never got a chance to talk about it. One time there was an article that was written about me, and the words in it were kind of twisted. And there was also an interview that I did where I kind of twisted my own words too. And I want to clear the air on it.

I can't remember exactly what I said, but it had to do with me not being able to go to the movies. It was this whole headline, from not being able to go to the movies to this, blah, blah, blah. And in the interview, I think the outlet that released this article stole a snippet from an interview that I did where I was talking about how, you know, I struggled with money when I was growing up, which I did here and there. But the way that I portrayed it was so victim mentality

and so acting like not being able to go to the movies a lot because my family was budgeting was like a really abnormal thing, okay? And in retrospect, the situation, I think I was remembering a memory where my mom and I were going to the movies a lot. The movie theater, which is crazy because now I hate movie theaters. They, I feel like a phobia of them, but whatever. There was this period of time where like money was a little bit tighter.

And so I think my mom was like, okay, we're going to need to cut back on like a few of these things for a little while. Like we need to stop doing a few of these things just because, you know, we need to be saving money right now. Which is so normal. Like, there was no reason for, you know, whatever. And, but to me, I was like, oh my god. At the time, and even up until recently, that memory, my memory was like, oh my god, we were struggling.

We couldn't go to the fucking movies. But then I was thinking about it, and I was like, okay, $ were struggling we couldn't go to the fucking movies But then I was thinking about it and I was like okay $30 for two people to go to the movies like multiple times a week that is fucking expensive So yeah, my mom's like yeah, we need to take a break from the movies This is that we can't go to the movies anymore because this is too much money like Okay, hello I was totally playing the victim and I didn't even know it I didn't know it. I didn't want sympathy I didn't like I just genuinely felt like that was something that was I at the time was like

Oh my god, that's so sad for me that I can't do that. What in reality? It's like Okay, yeah, but I had a roof over my head. We had to fucking budget some shit out and cut some you know lug Like some kind of mundane Fun activities out of our day-to-day for a little while because there was like, you know a money struggle at the time, but it was like, okay, yeah, but The fuck Like I just didn't portray that correctly and then it got twisted in the article and then you know my mom even We talked about it and I was like I really didn't mean it like that in the way that it came off like yes

It's in a sense true, but they made it look so different from what it truly was. And it was just that, and it was such a normal thing that I had subconsciously taken out a proportion because of the way that I worded it in the interview. And then by the way, that the article twisted it even further. And so I just wanted to clear the air on that. It really, yes, there were money struggles. Blah, blah, blah, blah.

But we were absolutely just fine. And I always had a roof over my head. And I always had food on the table, period. And that's all that mattered. So me fucking bringing up that shit where we had to budget out going to the movies because we were like, you know, it was during a rough time. That is so dumb. I should have never brought that up., it was during a rough time. That is so dumb.

I should have never brought that up, but I was immature at the time. And I also still had this weird money mentality that I hadn't shaken yet. So that was like two and a half years ago, two years ago, maybe so like whatever, irrelevant. But like I just wanted to clear the air about that because I think that I made it look

a lot different than it was on accident. And that was an accident on my part. So yeah, anyway, that's enough of this. Thank you guys so much for listening. I really appreciate you guys's constant support and I really love talking about this. And if you guys have any more podcast topics that are similar to this that you want me to dig into,

the Twitter is at AG podcast. You can DM me, you can tweet me, and I'll hopefully see it. And if you want to leave anything goes a little rating on Apple Podcasts, give us a little five stars. You can do that. And I'd really appreciate it, it really helps us out. And I love you guys so much. Thank you for listening.

Day after day, you guys are the best. And peace out, motherfuckers. and I love you guys so much. Thank you for listening. Day after day, you guys are the best and peace out, mother fuckers.