anything goes with emma chamberlain - the importance of boredom, a talk with emma

Episode Date: April 18, 2024

i came to the conclusion the other day that i need to allow myself to be bored more often. this is not a new conversation for us here on anything goes. i have talked about this before, but i've come to the conclusion again recently that i'm not bored enough. and i know that being bored is important because, through life experience, i've noticed that times of boredom have led me to do incredible things. so today i want to get into why i think boredom is important. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I feel like we've gotten to a point now where discussing the reality of what it means to live today in 2024 in regards to technology has become cringe. It's very cringe. Okay. To be like, social media is rotting our brains. Cringe. To be like, we're all overstimulated and addicted to our phones. Cringe. I know. I agree. However, it is unfortunate that it's cringe, because I am going to be talking about it today.

Again, have I talked about it before? Yes. Have I said everything there is to be said? Yes. Am I revisiting it today because it's still sort of an issue in my personal life and I'm trying to work through it with all of you? Yes. It's unfortunate that it's cringe because it's not a conversation that should be over necessarily. I sound like... Listen, I know I sound like your mom or your dad or your grandma or your uncle

coming to you at Thanksgiving being like, you need to get off that phone. I know I sound like that. I sound like that now. I've sounded like that before, and I'll sound like that again. This is just the reality of who I am. I've said this before also, but it's almost like I have a mom,

like a built-in mom in my own brain. I obviously have my mom, who I love and adore, but I also have like another mom, slash grandma, slash older, wiser voice in my head, telling me what's right, what I should be doing. And then on the other side of my brain, I have 22 year old Emma. And those two sides of my brain are constantly fighting.

But today I'm gonna be talking from the mom in my brain, the grandma in my brain, for the most part. And then 22 year old Emma will come in too. This episode is brought to you by Secret. Secret deodorant gives you 72 hours of clinically proven odor protection. How epic is that? And it's free of aluminum, parabens, dyes, talc, and baking soda.

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Oh, you've never heard that before? Yeah, you have. I know, I know. I don't need to explain why this statement is true. You know why. There's endless entertainment, readily available at all times, and it's addictive. Okay, we know that. Something a little less discussed is also the fact that we live in a culture that sort of shames boredom.

Not necessarily directly. There aren't people saying like, being bored is bad. It means you're a failure and it means you suck. But indirectly, I feel like we don't live in a culture that says, hey, you should go and be bored. There's a lot of emphasis on working really hard, grinding, blah, blah, blah, which is sort of, in my opinion, indirectly saying, if you're bored, then you're not working hard enough and there's something wrong with your life. There's this emphasis around finding your dream job and working really hard at it. And that whole narrative does not have boredom

anywhere in it. And I feel like if you were to go to someone who has this major grind mindset, like find your dream job and work really hard at it every single day, if you were to say, I'm bored to somebody like that, they'd be like, okay, why aren't you working? And if you're like, I am working, I'm bored and I'm at work, they'd say, okay, why are you still at that job if it's making you feel bored?

Do you see what I'm saying? Like that whole narrative just does not support boredom. On top of that, everyone's constantly comparing their lives on social media The whole narrative just does not support boredom. On top of that, everyone's constantly comparing their lives on social media, and everybody looks like they're always doing something fun all the time, blah, blah, blah. That's something we already all know. That also makes us all feel like we should never be bored. Because it's like, oh, well, this person's on a trip to Hawaii, and they look like they're

having so much fun, and they're doing something. Meanwhile, I'm not doing anything. I'm sitting in my backyard looking at a bird and I'm bored. I shouldn't be doing that. I should be doing something else. I should be entertained. I should be doing something with my life. Again, that does not support the idea that boredom maybe can be good. Everything going on around us pushes us towards over stimulation in one way or another. And I came to the conclusion the other day that I need to allow myself to be bored more often.

Now this is not a conclusion that I'm coming to for the first time, okay? I've come to this conclusion 10 times before. This is not a new conversation for us here on Anything Goes. I have talked about this, but I've come to the conclusion again recently that, you know what, I'm not bored enough.

And I know that being bored is important because just through life experience, not that I have a lot, I'm 22, but through experience, I've noticed that times of boredom have led me to do incredible things, okay? I can look back and see the value in times of boredom in my life. And simply because of that, I'm inspired in moments where I'm not ever bored and I'm constantly overstimulated that I need to create more space to be bored.

And I need to allow myself to be bored more often. Now there's a few things I want to go into, but the first one is why I think boredom is important. In my personal experience, I found boredom forces me to reflect, for one. If you're not bored and you're constantly overstimulated, when are you going to find time to sort of do the dirty work and reflect on yourself and your life and the people around you? You don't really have to do that if you're constantly distracting yourself with other things. I tend to reflect most often when I'm driving or I'm in the shower.

Even in moments of overstimulation, I can't usually distract myself very well when I'm driving or when I'm in the shower because what else am I gonna do? I mean, yeah, sometimes I can listen to a podcast or play a YouTube video or call someone on the phone and I've been known to do that. Sometimes no one's available.

Sometimes everyone's working. Sometimes everyone's busy. And guess what? Emma's left to be alone, and a YouTube video or a podcast is not cutting it, and that's not a distraction enough, and you know what? It gets to a point where it's like, maybe silence is the best option.

And then I find myself briefly, for just a moment, bored. And guess what I do? Without a doubt, I reflect. And I always find it miraculous when I do give Without a doubt, I reflect. And I always find it miraculous when I do give myself a moment of boredom in a phase of overstimulation, how quickly that moment of reflection makes me feel better. Like we always have things going on in our head. Okay, here we go, here I go with a metaphor,

but I feel like we have this backpack that we're carrying all the time. And there are certain things that put weight into the backpack, and then there are certain things that take weight out of the backpack. Daily challenges and dilemmas and questions that we have unanswered, unsolved, weight in the backpack. And then anytime we take a bit to think and reflect and answer some of those questions

and address some of those uncomfortable things, we're able to take weight out of the backpack. In the moment, it's annoying because there's a lot of heavy shit in the backpack and it's annoying and you've just sift around and find the things that you need to take out. And it's harder to lift something up from the front than it is to be carrying it around on your back.

So it's really heavy and it's annoying and then you get it out and you throw it and then you're done. And it was annoying to go into your backpack and get it all out and like whatever. But then now that it's gone, you're so stoked that it is. That's sort of what it feels like to be in a phase when you aren't reflecting. I feel like when you're in a phase where you're really overstimulated and you're distracting yourself a lot, that almost acts as like these pads on the straps of your backpack.

These like soft, fuzzy pads that make it hurt a little less when you're carrying around all this heavy stuff. You don't feel as inspired to look into that backpack because you're like, well, my shoulders don't hurt as bad because I have these pads that are protecting the straps from digging into my shoulders. I'm not thinking about it as much. I don't have to think about it.

But eventually you'll add enough heavy stuff to that backpack that now you have really bad back pain and maybe your sciatica is acting up and now you have to look into that goddamn backpack. But you don't want to get to that point where your backpack's so heavy that you have so much stuff that you need to reflect on that it's like overwhelming and daunting.

It's better to have more moments of boredom throughout your day and in your life that you have so much stuff that you need to reflect on that it's like overwhelming and daunting. It's better to have more moments of boredom throughout your day and in your life so that you just naturally end up addressing those things more often. At least this is my experience. I also think boredom is crucial for creativity. In all ways, I'm not just talking about like

a creative project, like, oh, I'm making my magnum opus, I'm painting a self-portrait that hopefully will be in the Louvre one day. It's not like that. It could be good for that as well, don't get me wrong, but I'm just talking about using the creative side of your brain in general. I'll use an example for when I'm trying to come up

with things to talk about for my podcast. I sometimes get really stumped because I've had a podcast for a long time and I'm like, fuck, what did I never talked about before? Like, and by the way, this is not me complaining. I'm just, this is just genuinely an example from my life. I'll be like, okay, I want to think about something that I haven't talked about before.

Something that feels, you know, fresh and exciting maybe, or maybe I have a different take on something that I have already talked about before, something that feels, you know, fresh and exciting maybe, or maybe I have a different take on something that I have already talked about before, but sometimes I get stumped. And I can't really figure out what I want to talk about. And I have to sort of get creative and try to figure out, okay, what could be a full episode? And you know what the best solution for that is? Forcing myself to be bored. I have days sometimes where I lay in bed all day, bored as fuck, with my computer open, trying to figure out what I could talk about for the podcast. That's part of the deal. If you are trying to

create something new in some way, no matter what it is, a lot of times you're going to end up really bored staring at the wall, not sure what to do. And that it is, a lot of times you're gonna end up really bored, staring at the wall, not sure what to do. And that's sort of a part of it. And I wish in a way that I set out more time in my life to be bored, because I think that if I did that, then in those moments of boredom, I would end up coming up with ideas

instead of coming down to the wire and then having to force myself to be bored on days when I'm like, oh, I want to record today. And it's like, oh, I don't have an idea. And then I end up needing to stare at the ceiling for six hours to eventually figure something out. Then I have to shove all this boredom into one day out of necessity instead of, I don't know, being bored some other time and spreading it out in a better way. Does that make sense? I think that nothing inspires creativity better than boredom. And I think that you're able to be creative in all areas of your life so much easier

when you have the space in your brain to do it. I feel like creative endeavors, whether it's a creative problem or it's a creative project, it requires almost an empty brain. You almost need to have an empty brain. And when is your brain empty? When you're bored. So, and similar to that, problem-solving. I mean, I kind of already addressed that with reflection and creativity because both of those involve problem-solving.

But I feel like problem-sol solving, similar to creativity, it requires so much focus in such a blank slate in the brain that without boredom, it's very hard to solve a problem properly. And then last but not least, recharging. I think a lot of times we look at boredom as something that is not recharging because being bored is not the most comfortable feeling, especially now. It can make a lot of us sort of antsy because we're like, God, I should be doing something. I should be doing something. But being bored is, in my opinion, crucial for recharging and preventing burnout in all

areas of life. Having the freedom to do whatever you want with your brain, whether it's uncomfortable because that's actually not always a comfortable feeling, or it's comfortable because maybe you're someone who, I don't know, understands the value of boredom and appreciates it, I think it's the only way to recharge in a way. With all that being said, it's clear that boredom, at least for me, is very important

because it allows me to do all of these critical things in my life. And you know, I was thinking about it the other day, it's not hard to find boredom. Like it's actually really easy. In fact, it's easier than ever because I do think that it takes much more to stimulate us now than it used to in the past.

Like people in the 1920s didn't know what they were missing. They didn't have an iPad. They didn't have Instagram. They didn't have TikTok. They did not have Netflix and they did not have Max, formerly known as HBO Max. And they definitely didn't have Hulu either.

Like they were probably properly entertained by, I don't know, going on a walk through a flower garden. They were probably properly entertained reading a book. I would argue it's much less entertaining now for the majority of human beings alive today than it was for human beings in 1920 when there was just a whole lot less going on. Our barrier for what's entertaining and stimulating,

it's just different. But with that being said, it's kind of cool in a way because boredom is all around. Like, we can find boredom in way more places because we're so much less entertained by mundane things. Like, let's say it's a Saturday and you have two options. You could overstimulate yourself as we all do, okay, by spending all day going on TikTok

and then maybe watching a really addictive TV show and then ordering dinner on a food delivery app and then, you know, just all these things that are very addictive and very, just prevent you from being bored because you don't ever have to be bored during those things. All of those things gather all of your attention. Now, before I even go any further, I wanna say that I don't wanna demonize a day like that. Because I also think that there can be something recharging at times about having a day like that, just letting yourself do all the things

and indulge in all these things. I don't think that that's always inherently wrong and I don't wanna demonize it because I think there is some value maybe there too. I'm not sure if there's value there. That might be pushing it too far, but I think that we shouldn't feel like we can't ever do that.

I think that's so unhealthy as well because whatever, but I think we should keep that to a minimum. You know what I mean? I think that there should be a limit. Like I don't think we should do that to a minimum. You know what I mean? I think that there should be a limit. Like I don't think we should do that anytime we'd have a day off, anytime we have an hour off. You know, I think that there should be a balance

where sometimes our time spent off is like that, because that's fun and that feels good sometimes, but it should also be spent being bored sometimes too. And we should just create more boredom in our life in general. Anyway, and it's easy to do. Like replace a day like that, watching TV, going on TikTok, ordering food delivery with going for a hike. For a lot of us, going for a hike is fucking boring. Some people love it. Some people are vividly entertained by that. And that's beautiful.

Some people are not. Many people are not. I do enjoy going for a hike and I find it to be fun and somewhat entertaining. But I also do think that there is a little bit of it that's boring. For sure. You know, maybe in good company, it's less boring. But actually definitely in good company, it's less boring. But if I were to go on a hike by myself and force myself to just walk and not listen to anything, maybe listen to music, but I might get a little bored. I'm gonna be honest. Like, an hour in, I may be like, all right, I'm fucking bored. Sitting in your backyard with no form of entertainment, no music, no podcast, no YouTube video,

not even a book, and just sitting there? Ooh, that's uncomfortable. That's boring. Laying in bed with the TV off, thinking time, oof, that is boring. Who'd wanna do that? It's not hard to find boredom. Like you can make yourself bored very easily. Finding boredom is not the hard part.

It's motivating ourselves to create boredom and then not succumbing to the addiction to all these things when we are in a moment of boredom. Not just being like, oh fuck, fuck this. I'm just gonna, like what's so wrong about playing a podcast right now? I'm on this hike and I wanna listen to a podcast. Like what's wrong with that?

It's like there is nothing wrong with that necessarily, but I don't know, I just, I think that there's a balance that we're not striking, you know? It's almost like for a lot of us, we have to almost manufacture boredom nowadays, which feels so unusual because I feel like in the past, it was always like, you know, people would tell their kids, oh, go make yourself busy, you know,

go figure something out, go figure out how to entertain yourself. And kids would have to go get creative to entertain themselves. Whereas now it's like, we all have to manufacture that boredom again, because we don't have enough of it. And we need a little bit of it at least.

I don't know, it just feels so backwards and unnatural. It feels weird and forced to do that. And it feels kind of silly. But for me personally, I feel like I need to do this. Like I know I need to do this more because I am constantly overstimulating myself because it's just the easier route in life. And I know that it's not good for me in any way.

Like it's not good for my creativity. It's not good for my growth in life. It's not good for reflecting on things. It's just not good for my overall soul in a way. But it's so much easier, it's so much easier to just let myself indulge in all of it. It takes a lot of discipline. And I go through phases, you know,

like you've heard me talk about this topic before, maybe in a slightly different way, but I've talked about being addicted to social media, and then I've talked about how, you know what, I think I kicked it. I think I kicked it, I think I figured it out. Maybe I picked up this hobby, or I started doing this, and this really helped.

I've only ever found temporary solutions for this problem. I've never found a permanent solution for this problem. And maybe there is none, but I would say right now in this current moment, I'm back in a period where I am just constantly listening to YouTube videos or podcasts. You know, I go on Instagram reels all the time. I go on YouTube shorts all the time.

I waste so much fucking time on those because I don't have TikTok. So I'm not addicted to TikTok per se, but I might as well be because I'm addicted to all the weirder forms of TikTok, AKA Instagram reels and AKA YouTube shorts. I would say actually Instagram reels are not weird, but YouTube shorts are obviously weird

and everybody talks about how weird they are. However, I found that their algorithm is actually very addicting once they understand what you like and it's just as Potent as like if not even more potent sometimes than Instagram reels like I'm so addicted to YouTube shorts and they have me down So good right now and I get actually positive content I get a lot of like food reviews and stuff which is fun because I'm always like oh maybe I'll go try that restaurant of course, I won't I don't know the next time I'm going to be visiting Singapore and remember to go

to this one restaurant that this person visited. The likelihood is very low. You know what I'm saying? Or I don't know the next time I'm going to be in Mexico City and know and remember this exact bakery that this person went to. However, it's very entertaining. And I'd like to think that I would go there one day. I also get a lot of videos of people on van life, doing van life, living in a van. And I know I'm 10 years late to that sort of trend, watching content about that. Doesn't matter.

It's just as fun to watch now as it was 10 years ago. I'm very addicted to YouTube shorts. I'm also very addicted to Instagram reels, whatever. I get very funny stuff on Instagram reels. I'm laughing up a storm over here. I'm sending Instagram reels to everybody and they're like, Emma, this is so annoying. This would be less weird if you just had TikTok

and it's all good. I've resorted to just sending reels to people who appreciate them and also don't have TikToks such as my parents because they love it and they get it. This is all a pointless tangent. I'm in a phase again where I'm very addicted to all of these things. Food delivery, social media, and the internet as a whole,

constantly having noise going on, constantly having a going on, constantly having a podcast or YouTube video playing, there's constant noise, I'm back in that place. And I think the reason why it happened was because in phases where I'm maybe working harder or working more, that tends to give me an excuse. I'm like, well, I've been so busy working on all these things that when I have an hour off, I just wanna fucking rot doing, working on all these things that when I have like, you know, an hour off,

I just want to fucking rot my brain. Like that just feels good. And it's like, yeah, but when is the time? When do I get, then I'm never gonna get that moment of silence, that moment of boredom, that moment. Like I'm not getting that at all. I can't tell you the last time I was bored. Because anytime I would be bored, I just drown it out.

I'm very much in that phase again. I'm frustrated. I'm fucking frustrated because it's like, I can't tell you how many times I've cycled through like, okay, I get to a point where I'm so overstimulated that it's like actually starting to make me, it make me lose connection with myself. I don't feel connected with myself. I don't feel connected with my life. I don't feel connected with the world around don't feel connected with myself. I don't feel connected with my life. I don't feel connected with the world around me.

I'm not looking inward enough. I don't feel connected. And it starts to make me feel like shit. Slowly but surely it leads me to a sort of a dark place. Like it can make my anxiety worse. It can make my depression worse. Like it can make these things. I think particularly in this phase of my life,

my anxiety worse because I'm not in a depressive phase necessarily, but yeah, it can make me start to feel like shit and it can make various mental health challenges even worse. And I'm reaching that point now, again, where I'm just feeling down in the dumps a little bit. And I'm like, I can't keep coming back here. I don't wanna keep ending up here. I wanna get into a routine that's so solid

that I don't end up back here. It takes so much discipline though, that it's so fucking tough. And I honestly think the best way to kickstart it in past experiences is doing somewhat of a dopamine detox. Okay? About a year ago, actually, I tried my first dopamine detox, which is basically when you abstain from addictive things such as social media, gaming, food delivery, alcohol, shopping, watching TV, listening to podcasts.

Like you basically anything that would over stimulate you, anything that makes your life too easy. Uh, not happening. This episode is brought to you by Fizz. Looking for a new mobile provider. Fizz does things differently. They offer complete transparency, no contracts, no hidden fees, no false promises.

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You can even roll over unused data each month. Try the other side, switch to Fizz. Check out fizz.ca conditions apply. So I did the dopamine detox and I actually, from what I can remember, found a lot of value in it. I think it was really challenging because it was uncomfortable a lot and I was bored a lot. And I realized how much time I waste entertaining myself with pointless shit.

And it was sort of an uncomfortable realization, I remember. Like, I felt a lot of shame, I think, about how much time I was wasting doing all this pointless shit when I could have been doing something else. But I remember it being pretty profound, and I think I did it for a week or two, I don't remember. And I remember feeling really good during it. I remember feeling much clearer in the head. And I actually, if I close my eyes now,

can remember the calmness that I felt towards the end of the detox. Like, I felt amazing. And in the past, the dopamine detox was a very trendy sort of movement. Like, everyone was doing it. It was like, we're all, you know, so overstimulated, we need to do a dopamine detox.

And it was very trendy and a lot of people were trying it. And I think that that was great. The problem is, it fell out of favor because the name of it is scientifically inaccurate. Like you technically can't detox your body from the chemical dopamine that your body releases. Like you can't cleanse your body of dopamine. You're always releasing dopamine.

So it's scientifically inaccurate. And I also think too, there are some people saying that it doesn't technically work the way you're always releasing dopamine. So it's scientifically inaccurate. And I also think too, there are some people saying that it doesn't technically work the way that people explain that it does. Like people say, okay, a dopamine detox is you remove all of these things that produce the chemical of dopamine

so that you can start releasing more dopamine when you do less exciting things. Like that's sort of the idea. Like we get all these easy hits of dopamine all the time from social media and food delivery and shopping and video gaming. And we get too much dopamine all the time from all these things.

So to strip it all away forces us to find little hits of dopamine in things that are more impactful in our daily lives. And then soon we'll be able to release more dopamine from those things. Basically there's a whole lot of like science debate on how it actually works inside of the brain and body. And it was sort of proven that the name of it was kind of bullshit and the whole concept and what people were selling when it came to the dopamine detox that it was sort of proven that the name of it was kind of bullshit and the whole concept and what people were selling when it came to the dopamine detox, that it was sort of

bullshit. It turned it into somewhat of a fad and made it disappear out of the zeitgeist. Like you don't really see people talking about the dopamine detox anymore as much as they once were, which I actually think is a shame because I don't think that there should be something that's a f fat. I understand that the science is kind of spotty. I'm not a fan of that either, but I think it should be repackaged into something new where the science is backed up that people can revisit whenever they feel like they need it because I think in theory, it's actually a really beneficial thing. That just reminded me of there was another flaw with the dopamine detox where it was

at times considered to be too extreme. The rules vary depending on what website you went on or whatever, but with some, it was like no reading books, no listening to music, certain things that are arguably like not that big of a distraction. You know what I mean? Like music I guess is sort of, that's maybe a more controversial one with this. Like some would argue like music is distracting. Like it's better to have complete silence

if you're doing a full detox. I could see value in that. Because music can sometimes prevent you from reflecting and stuff and being fully bored. But I don't know, that one's kind of debatable. Or like saying that you're not allowed to eat any sugar, you're not allowed to eat out at any restaurants. It's like, okay, if you wanna do a dopamine detox,

quote unquote, for three weeks, the rules need to be a bit more realistic. Like what if you wanna go out and eat with friends and what if they order cake and like, yeah, you can have some of the cake. Like it just feels too extreme to be realistic, I think for some people, which I think is also a flaw with it. So there's scientific flaws and then there's also like,

flaws with how extreme the rules can be. I think, I don't know, I think it's something that should be revisited though because I think that there is value to it regardless of the incorrect science and regardless of the optional extreme rules. According to Harvard's website they describe the concept of the dopamine detox as something that helps you to instead of automatically responding to these reward inducing cues, like text messages or Instagram notifications or TikTok notifications, blah, blah, blah, which provide us with an immediate but short lived charge, we ought to allow our brains to take breaks and reset

from this potentially addictive bombardment. The idea is that by allowing ourselves to feel lonely or bored or to find pleasure in doing simpler and more natural activities, we will regain control of our lives and be better able to address compulsive behaviors that may be interfering with our happiness. Based on my experience with doing it a year ago, that was kind of true. That was genuinely what happened to me. So here's the thing, like the dopamine detox,

I wish that it had a different name because that name has absolutely no respect on it, but I wanna do it again. And I think I'm going to. But I think I wanna do it for longer, I'm thinking. And I think I'm going to. But I think I want to do it for longer, I'm thinking. And I think I want to change the rules to fit my life better. But I think I'm going to do it again. And the reason for that is because I know that I need it. And I think by doing a longer but less strict version of it,

I'll learn more about what's sustainable for my life so that maybe some of these habits will stick. Because I think that was the problem last time, the rules were maybe a little too strict so I couldn't continue the detox, if you will, for as long as maybe I needed to to build some new habits. And on top of that, I didn't really have a plan for what I was gonna do after the detox, if you will, ended.

So then it just all kind of went to shit after that. I'm not quite solid on what my detox sort of plan is, because I'm also kind of confused. I'm like, should I try to just make new rules for my life, period? Now that feels, when I look at it, like so extreme. I'm like, to have rules in my life, is that realistic? Is that something I'm actually going to stick to? Is that even fair to myself?

I'm making excuses about it. I'm like, oh, maybe, like, do I even fair to myself? I'm making excuses about it. I'm like, Oh, maybe like, do I need to have rules? Or should I just do a detox for a longer period of time? And then I don't know, I like, am I gonna, am I setting myself up for failure by setting up indefinite rules? Maybe, maybe not. But then again, it's also like saying, am I setting myself up for failure? It's like, it's up to me how I handle the failure. You know what I'm saying then again, it's also like saying, am I setting myself up for failure? It's like, it's up to me how I handle the failure. You know what I'm saying?

Like, let's say I create a set of rules for myself. Like, oh, I only order food delivery on weekends and I only go on social media when I'm posting something on social media. Like if I'm posting something on Instagram, then you know, I can scroll around for a little bit and then I'm done. And then I will not be on Instagram again until the next time I have something to post. Or in the car or when I'm walking around the house, I'm not allowed to listen to anyone talking. So I can't listen to podcasts. I

can't listen to YouTube video. I only can listen to music. Like are those rules too strict and are those also preventing me from possibly benefiting from YouTube in a way? Like I love watching YouTube videos, listening to podcasts like I love, and sometimes it's educational. Sometimes it's not, it depends. I'd say it's like 60% of what I listen to and watch is educational, which is not bad,

but then the other 40% is not. So it's like, okay, I've learned a lot from things that I've been listening to on YouTube and on podcasts. Do I simply remove and not allow myself to watch the things that are not educational and are simply just entertainment? Do I save those for another time? Do I only let myself consume that stuff on the weekends?

I'm still trying to figure out sort of the rules, and I'm also trying to figure out if it's a detox or if it's just a lifestyle. And as I'm talking about it now, I'm starting to feel like I think it needs to just be a lifestyle. Let's try to figure out what the rules are together, okay? This might be boring for you, but I don't,

this is useful for me. So let's indulge in this together. I love eating out at restaurants so much and I find that experience to be so magical. And I also find it to be very present. Like I love being present at a restaurant. You know, I get to interact with the servers and like I just, I love that experience and I love, I rarely go and eat at a restaurant, you know, I get to interact with the servers and like I just, I love that experience and I love, I never, I rarely go and eat at a restaurant alone. So it's usually

a time that I get to bond with friends or family. I love eating at a restaurant so much that I'm not going to give myself any rules or restrictions on that. However, I also don't do it as often. It's usually something I do on the weekends anyway. So it's like a special occasion thing. However, food delivery, I think needs rules. I think I'm going to make the rule. This might seem a bit extreme, but I think that it's something I can do. I'm gonna say no food delivery when alone.

So like, if I'm with friends or my parents are visiting and we're hanging out and we're like doing a puzzle or something in my living room, I'm not gonna be like, hey, you guys, let's pick up and let's go to a restaurant now. Sometimes it's fun to hang out with people and order food in because we're all already together in my house and we're doing another activity. You know what I'm saying?

So I'm gonna make the rule, no food delivery when alone. So when I'm alone, I have to either cook or go and eat at a restaurant by myself, which I actually love doing. I did that recently when I was on a trip in New York. I like fully went to a sit down restaurant by myself. And I was like, is this gonna be kind of weird? Like I haven't done this in a really long time.

It was fucking phenomenal. I loved it. I just sat there eavesdropping on other people's conversations on accident. I wasn't trying to. It just was inevitable. I couldn't help it. I forced myself to not go on my phone too much. I did go on my phone a little bit, but not that much. And I really enjoyed it. So, that's a rule that I think I can stick to.

The next one is YouTube. What am I gonna do with YouTube? Okay, I think with YouTube, to. The next one is YouTube. What am I gonna do with YouTube? Okay, I think with YouTube, the rule should be as follows. Okay, I think I know what the rule is. No YouTube at all before my work for the day is done. Even when I'm eating lunch and I wanna watch something, even when I'm doing a little chore in the middle of the day, like putting my dishes away in the to watch something, even when I'm doing a little chore in the middle of the day, like, you know, putting my dishes away

in the dishwasher or something, like whatever, or folding my laundry, like, it doesn't matter. Even when I'm doing chores, no YouTube, no podcast, no talking, music only. And then limit myself to only consuming educational content after that during the week. Maybe it's just all the time. No, because sometimes you gotta watch fun shit on YouTube.

Come on, like on, maybe I save it for the weekends. Okay, so here's my YouTube rule, okay? During the week, no YouTube before work is done. And then once work is done, only educational content. On the weekends, only allowed to watch YouTube. I can watch any YouTube I want, but I'm only going to allow myself to watch it once the sun is down so that during the day I'm forced to go and do something else. Like I'm not going to allow myself to just rot inside all day and watch YouTube like I enjoy to do a lot of times.

This is a personal rule. For some of you, this might be too strict. However, I think I need this rule because I think it'll be good for me. Okay, now we have social media. Okay, this is like Instagram. This is like Reels. This is like YouTube Shorts,

which is weirdly more like social media. This one's been the toughest one to have boundaries with, and I'm starting to think I just need to have really rigid boundaries because I get so addicted to social media, more than most people I think. Like more than a lot of people I know. I really get sucked in where I just am like doom scrolling on my explore page on Instagram for like,

I just have a horrible relationship with it. And I think it's something I need to fix something I need to work on. I love Instagram as a platform. In fact, I find a lot of inspiring things on there. I find a lot of amazing things on there. However, I have yet to build a healthy relationship with it. So I think I need to go a more extreme route for now. And I think that my extreme route is honestly, I think I only am going to post on it. I think I'm going to post on it. And I think when I post things, I can, you know, go and read comments and interact and like, you know, enjoy that experience and maybe go and check in on people like some friends on those days when I post and in those moments that I post like maybe I give

myself, you know what it is? Here's the rule. Okay. This sounds like I'm literally like a fucking mom like giving rules for my toddler, but here it is. And I'm the top, not only am I the mom, but I'm also the toddler. Here's the rule. I'm only gonna allow myself to go on social media when I post. And when I post, I set a 30 minute timer, a whole 30 minutes to do whatever I want. I can go stalk whoever the fuck I want. Like it doesn't matter.

I can do whatever I want for that 30 minute period after I post. But then once that 30 minute timer is up, I'm not going on it again. And I think I have to be this extreme because I've been more lenient in the past and I just find myself slipping into these routines where it's just like any down moment I have.

I'm on Instagram, I'm looking, I'm scrolling, I'm whatever. And I just, it does not make me feel good. I'm not strong enough to have a healthy relationship with it. So I'm gonna really give that a try. I don't feel like I have any issues with, like I don't have any issues with video games. I feel like my alcohol consumption is pretty, it's pretty rare.

It's not rare necessarily, but it's once a week, once every two weeks, maybe on a day on the weekend. So I don't think I need to touch that. So I think I'm good there. I don't think there's anything else I need to like refrain from doing, but rather I think I need a few more rules for things that I need to do. Like for example, I do think I need to read

10 pages of a book every day minimum, minimum. And you know, I decided when I was writing this outline last night, I was like, you know, I'm just gonna stop going on social media now until I post, you know, like unless I post. So for the last 12 hours, I've been fighting, I've been like wanting to go on social media so bad. Like when I'm on the toilet, I just wanna go on Instagram.

I just wanna start looking at Reels. But you know what I've been doing instead? Going on the app, the book app on my phone and reading. Now, I'm not reading a full chapter, but I'm reading a book that I already had started from like literally eight months ago. And thank God I remember the plot. I know what's happening. So I just could jump back in. But it kind of replaces it to like just read the book on the phone.

And I've tried that method before, but I fell off of it, of course. But I don't think it's going to be hard for me to read 10 pages a day if I have nothing better to do when I'm on the toilet or I I'm waiting in line at the dentist office, or I'm bored in bed and don't know what to do and have thought enough, you know? Like, I think that that is realistic. But I think it's a good goal too. 10 pages of a book a day.

I also think I need to start going outside more. I think I need to be outside for 30 minutes a day. I could work out there, I could read a book out there, I could go for a 30 minute walk, it doesn't matter. I do not go outside enough. All of my work is indoors. I'm on my computer, I'm doing all this shit. I'm not, I don't know, even when I work out,

like my exercise routines are all indoors. I do indoor classes and things of that sort. So it's like, I just need to get myself outside for at least 30 minutes a day. I think that would be really good for me. Okay, so I think that that's sort of the rules. And as I've been sort of talking this through with you, I'm realizing, I think that this isn't a cleanse.

I think this is just, it starts today and I need to just fucking do it and I need to stop making excuses and I need to stop giving an end date and I need to stop doing all these things because I really do think that this will benefit my life in so many ways and I'm taking control of my internet addiction and here we are trying to better ourselves. And I know I sound like a broken record because I've talked about this a lot of times before,

but I think that this is one of the hardest things to kick. I really do. And I hope that there are some of you out there who are like, oh my God, I'm dealing with the same thing. Maybe I'll do this too. Maybe I'll create my own set of rules and really get a handle on this shit. So that's where I'm at.

I'll let you all know how it goes. I sort of started yesterday and I did sort of fuck up this morning because I did watch, it was at least educational, but I did watch something educational while I was eating my breakfast. But I want to stop doing that because I guess what? I wasn't done with my work for the day yet

and I started to get sucked down the YouTube rabbit hole where I was like, oh my God, I'm watching this interesting stuff. I want to watch more of this. And that gets in the way of me getting my work started. See what I'm saying? So anywho, I'll let you all know how it goes. And this is something that we all are battling, I think.

And to stop the conversation is the less cringey option. It's more cringey to continue to have this conversation because it feels so played out and old and just done. But I think it is an important conversation to have this conversation because it feels so played out and old and just done. But I think it is an important conversation to have. And here I am still having it. So that's all I have for this week. I hope that you all enjoyed working through that with me and discussing that with me. If you did, new episodes of Anything Goes every Thursday and Sunday, you can follow Anything Goes on Instagram at Anything Goes. We're also on TikTok now, if you wanna find us.

I'm not on TikTok, but Anything Goes is, so you can find Anything Goes on there. You can follow me on Instagram at Emma Chamberlain, or me on YouTube at Emma Chamberlain. You can check out my coffee company, Chamberlain Coffee. We might be in a store near you, but if not, you can order us straight to your door. And that's all I

have for today. Thank you all for listening. I love you all. I appreciate you all. And I can't wait to talk to you in a few days. I just adore all of you. And I'm so grateful that you listen and hang out. It's so much fun. And that's all. Okay, talk to you soon. Love you. Bye.