anything goes with emma chamberlain - the word "irrelevant" on the internet

Episode Date: July 16, 2020

Emma goes deep this week on the notion of becoming “irrelevant” on the internet. Navigating “cancel culture”, challenges of growing up in front of millions, a lack of privacy and extra scrutiny, and less wiggle room to make normal teenage mistakes. Why clickbait content is less important than creating something you’re passionate about, and how living life based off views and likes can really be a strain on mental health. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hi guys, welcome to anything. Goza! Happy Thursday, if you'll as news when it comes out. It's Thursday when I'm actually recording this. So this will come out in a week, not that you fucking care, but that's what's going on. It's literally 8 a.m. It's 8 in the morning right now. I've been waking up so early for some reason, like my body just wants me awake.

So I'm just gonna go with the flow. Like my body just wants to be awake by like eight, then you know what? Why not? Let's get right into it though. So This topic is really interesting because this kind of came to me last night as I was falling asleep and I was like I need to talk about this on the podcast. Like this is actually an important conversation that I think I need to have. Not only for myself, but for other creators and for even potentially people who have no interest in being on the internet and just our viewers of it. And they just like to watch it and look at it and they don't want to be a part of it. Or for people who are aspiring YouTubers, Instagramers, whatever.

Anything actually, it could go for musicians, it could go for actors. This could go for anybody who puts themselves out there and is kind of in the public eye in any way, shape or form. I think it's an important conversation to be had and I don't feel like a lot of people talk about it. I feel like it's kind of this thing that everybody has floating in the back of their heads, but nobody actually ever talks about it.

And I'm here to fucking lift the veil, everybody, because I don't give a fuck and I'm over it. And I feel like I've had a mental switch. Like I feel like my brain's done a full 180 on this topic. And so I want to talk about that journey and talk about what that is in the first place because I'm just kind of alluding to it if that's even the right word.

And I'm not talking about it. So today we're talking about the impending doom and fear of becoming quote unquote irrelevant on the internet. This is such an interesting phenomenon, phenomenon, phenomenon, whatever. So I think that from the time that you start on the internet at all in any capacity, your number one concern is like, how long is this all gonna last?

Is this gonna last forever? Probably not. How long gonna keep this thing going? The thing about the internet is that it moves a lot faster than any other kind of profession maybe. Like for example Brad Pitt was in one movie, he was in a lot of movies, but he was in a lot of movies, but he doesn't ever need to make a movie again. And he's always like, his impact was made, right?

And he kind of is going to be a celebrity and is going to be, quote unquote, relevant forever just because he's Brad Pitt, right? But on the internet, things move at a lot different of a speed and in a lot different of a way. It's like one minute, everybody can be caring and the next minute, it seems that people stop caring. It's a very quick switch that turns off, you know what I mean? At least that's the way that it feels

or the way that it looks. Obviously somebody like Brad Pitt is doing it. Yeah, I mean, it's not the most amazing comparison, but it's too late. It came out of my mouth. Basically, I think that everybody on the internet is so scared of what they have going away. They're so scared of having all of the attention go away. They want to keep that momentum forever. For many reasons. I mean, number one, because for a lot of people, they've taken risks. And now suddenly, this has become how they make their money. And most

of these people are very young. And they're like, fuck, I have to keep this shit going because I need to continue to make money and support myself because this is, I draw, I left everything for this. It's fucking terrifying. It's absolutely terrifying. And, you know, people are like, if I slip up or if I stop making videos that are as good or I, you know, people just stop caring for whatever reason, like I'm fucked, you know, I need to keep the shit going.

The thing is I used to torture myself about this all the time. I would be like, God, what am I doing? Like, I don't do collabs with people really anymore. I don't do things that are super shocking, you know? I'm just kind of like making videos that are fun for me. And if people like them, then cool. And if they don't, then also cool.

But I'm not doing all of the strategies that people do to stay quote unquote relevant. And sometimes, you know, sometimes there's clear like evidence of that. Like I have videos that don't do as well. Because there's something that like I just thought would be fun that isn't like a clickbeatable topic or even something that would be that interesting

to most people. A good example would be my last video. By the time that you see this, I'll have a new video up but my last video I made was this video about playing games that were nostalgic. So you know, Tune Town, Clip Penguin. And I knew when I was uploading this, this video wouldn't do that well

but I had a lot of fun filming it. So I didn't really care. And then alas, I got all these comments being like, not a lot, but I got a few comments being like, God, this video got no views in comparison to Emma's other videos. And I was like, is this really what people care about? How many views my videos get? Because it doesn't really matter to me. And I realize that it didn't matter to me that my last video didn't get as many views as normal. And I realize, oh my God, I may have outgrown the fear of a relevancy phase of my life.

Because a year ago, I would have seen that and been like, fuck, what am I doing wrong? And now I'm like, I enjoyed making that video. So, and you know, a decent amount of people saw it still and hopefully got to enjoy it. So, what's the harm in it? What's the harm in, you know, something not doing as well? Or even becoming irrelevant in the

first place. What is really so bad about it? If that's the trajectory of how things go, there's nothing anybody can do about it. There's no reason to be scared about it. Like, it's just that might be the way that it goes. And I feel like I'm finally coming to terms with that. The thing that upsets me is seeing so many people being scared of becoming irrelevant and right before it becomes a relevant such a nasty, nasty word. I fucking hate that word. And it's used way too much in this space. And I think it's such a negative word. And it's so degrading to the person that it's describing and I really don't like the word but I don't know what other word to use. So let me try to find another word.

Okay, I'm looking at words and they're really sad actually. The thesaurus definitions or synonyms, the synonyms for irrelevant include unimportant in unnecessary. That's so fucked up. The fact that people use the word irrelevant about creators on the internet is basically calling them unimportant and unnecessary, according to the Sosaurus. Sosaurus, including what the fuck? According to the Sosaurus, which is not true. Every single person is on their own journey.

You know, all of this has a different, the journey is different, it looks different. It feels different, the experiences in it are different. It looks different. It feels different. The experiences in it are different. Everybody has their own thing. So everybody has their own journey. So why are we so focused on like who becomes irrelevant in thinking that that's the end of their lives?

I remember a long time ago when you know I would notice that some people would kind of disappear and kind of stop doing The social media thing and they would just kind of go and live their own normal life. I'd be like, God I'd almost feel bad. I was like I hope that they're okay like that It's probably really tough on them that they have to like go from this one life to another like that Is probably so weird. But now I'm gonna like, maybe it's not. When you become a YouTuber, or you become a social media person,

you believe that like once your dream comes true, which is like becoming a YouTuber, becoming a social media person of some sort, you think like, oh my God, now that I've accomplished my dream, like this needs to be how the rest of my God, now that I've accomplished my dream, like this needs to be the rest of my life is. Because I finally accomplished my dream, like I can't let it go now. Like this is it, this is what I've done, I need to make this work forever.

No you don't. No you don't. Being on the internet is actually, it's amazing. Don't get me wrong. But it is so fucking tough mentally, which makes me kind of believe that when the universe is like, you know what, you're done. Your time is up. This is not working for you anymore.

It's just fucking sign from the universe that like you've made your mark and that you can go live a normal life now in a sense. And a lot of people are like, why would you want that? Why would you want to live a normal life? Maybe some people are like, yeah, it makes sense. Honestly, I sometimes miss living a very normal life. Sometimes I'm like, I don't know, I wish I just wouldn't have done this. You know what I mean?

And I know a lot of other people that think the same thing. And then I remember, obviously, the connections that I've made with all of you and how important that is to me. And hopefully the message I've been trying to spread since the day that I started this, not the day that I started this, took me some time to figure out what my core message was.

But I remember, like, okay, my goals since day one was to hopefully inspire people to just be their true selves and be unapologetic about it and to not be so worried about the superficial shit, and just have fun, and be a good person, not take life too seriously, but also whatever.

That's been my whole thing since day one. I just have hope that I could inspire some other people to do that, and I've found that at least, a handful of you have felt that from me. And that makes it worth it, you know what I mean? That makes it worth it whether it all goes away tomorrow and the whole internet dies and shuts down and I have to, you know, figure something else out. Or if, you know, I keep doing this for a few more years, whatever the case may be, I already

am proud of that. And I'm already happy with that, and I'm satisfied with that, and I feel like I've done that successfully, and now I'm like, well, I care about this, I enjoy doing this, so I'm gonna keep going, but if, for some reason, it stops working for whatever reason or whatever, That's okay. I feel like

I did what I was supposed to do and I'm going to continue to try to do that. But if it stops working, it stops working and I have a life outside of all this. I have a life outside of the internet to go to. I don't need the internet to be happy. If anything, the internet causes me a lot of stress and anxiety, as it does for probably all of you as well, whether you are on the internet and you're somebody who puts yourself out there or not, the internet is a very tough place to be on right now

and it is in general, but especially right now. I'm not gonna be too upset when I'm, you know, 40 and I'm like, you know what? Kind of done with the internet and I think it's time for me to hop out of here. I think that I actually crave the day when, you know, the internet has nothing to do with my day to day life,

and I can shut it off if I want. I can't really shut it off right now. I can do a certain extent, but, and I can do whatever I fucking want, but I don't want to. I'm like, this is like my passion. This is like what I do, you know, like all of this. So I can't just turn everything off and delete the app.

Like I gotta stay on there, see what's going on. You know, it's part of my job in a sense. So I, you know, have to be on it. But I do crave the day when I kind of get to turn that all off. Or at least the option seems more, I kind of have that option, right? I don't think it's really gonna be so bad. I think that most creators are dreading that day.

They're dreading the day when they have to turn their phone off and that they have to live in the real world. And I'm like, no, no guys, everybody, listen up, listen up. It might be really nice. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is more than a website builder. It's in all in one place to make an online space that's entirely your own.

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Use the offer code Emma for 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. This episode is brought to you by State Farm. There's no instruction manual when it comes to being an adult. Sometimes I lay away at night rehashing something I said earlier that day, or I lay in bed at night thinking about what the future holds.

I know I'm not the only one going through a lot of what ifs. Like what if I get into a fender bender? Or what if my home gets broken into? But State Farm can help you with some of those big what-ifs. They're available to answer your questions day or night. You can reach them 24-7 file a claim on the State Farm mobile app or simply call your agent to ask what's on your mind. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Call or go to stateform.com for a quote today. I think for me, the way that I've thought about it is that why not find the good and everything,

right? So, if being on the internet comes with the fear of becoming quote on quote a relevant, which I don't like that word, so every time I use it, just take it with a grain of salt because I just don't have another word to use. If being a YouTuber, being on the internet comes with the fear of being irrelevant, why not almost come to terms with that and even kind of see how amazing that could even be? Why dread something that might actually make sense at some point in your life? I've come to terms with the fact that being on the internet means that it might

not last forever. And I've come to terms with that and I've kind of realized that that might not be so fucking bad. And there's nothing I can do to control it except for going on the internet post videos that I think are fun. People like them, awesome, if they don't fuck with them, cool, that's also fine. I'll be okay. I don't need people to be interested in every single video I upload, like that's not anybody's

job or whatever, that's also an unrealistic expectation. You know, so who cares? It's not that fucking deep. I just have noticed this thing that goes on on the internet, where people in order to, you know, try to stay on top. Everybody's fighting to do the craziest thing. The most extravagant thing. And I mean, if you're passionate about doing extravagant

and crazy things, I would say Mr. Beast is a good example. He's absolutely fucking killing it. He's a YouTuber, but I think I truly believe that his passion is doing these extreme videos that are like, I don't think that he's just doing it for attention. He, I think it's an art form for him, doing these super creative, super extravagant videos.

You know, I, what? Good morning to me. I guess I didn't expect to be awake at 9 AM, so my alarm just fucking went off. I think that he's really has a passion for doing extravagant things. And I think that that's that combination of like him doing extreme click bait, not click bait, it's not click bait, he's actually doing things, extremely clickable things, and also

making the videos really entertaining and super well done. I mean, like, it's just an amazing formula. That's a perfect formula. But I do think that that's his passion. I think that comes from his heart. I don't think that he's just doing that. Like because he wants, I mean, and if he is, that's his fucking damn business and it's none of my, I'm just guessing like I whatever. But then there's certain creators that, and I'm not even bashing these people either, it's all

they're fucking grind. You know what I mean? Whatever you want to do, whatever feels right to you, it's none of my fucking business. And I'm just kind of commenting on it just because, you know, I'm not gonna give any names for this side of it, but you know, like, whatever, like, everybody's doing their thing. I'm not, I'm not here to tell them to stop or tell them that, you know, whatever,

but some people do things that are maybe a little bit more crazy kind of, because out of fear, I've noticed, some people are like, I can't make videos that I want because I'm too scared that people aren't gonna wanna watch it and I don't wanna become, quote unquote, irrelevant. Instead of making things that they care about, and you know, or even some people will make fake drama, or they will,

you know, create fake events of sorts, and you know, or they'll like, you know, like they'll do things that aren't real so that people will talk about them The thing is I don't want to be talked about for things like drama or Like making a really extreme video that is not something that I'm truly passionate about like I don't want that Like that doesn't make me feel good. Do you know what I mean?

That's not what my channel's about. My channel from day one has just been me hanging out with the camera for like 10 to 20 minutes and then that's it. I don't want to start drama. I don't want to be a part of drama. I don't want to be a part of fake drama, real drama, any of it. Fuck all of that. Might touch on that in the set because I actually want to get into that. But I also want to make videos that I enjoy making and that means things that are kind of just simple. That's what I like. I don't like to make things super complicated.

My whole internet presence is not supposed to be some sort of extravagant thing. I don't, that was never the plan. I didn't choose any of this. It just happened to me. I did what I enjoyed doing, which was making these fun little videos that were, you know, lighthearted and, you know, chill. And it wasn't, it's never been that deep, and it never will be that deep. I just like hanging out with you guys for, you know, whether it's on the podcast or it's never been that deep and it never will be that deep. I just like hanging out with you guys for, you know, whether it's on the podcast or it's on my videos,

I don't care about it being some extravagant thing. I don't care about it getting on the trending page. Anyone it does, that's awesome, but like, I don't fucking care. Like, I don't care about, you know, if it goes fucking viral, I don't care, that doesn know, if it goes fucking viral, I don't care, that doesn't fucking matter to me. That's not why I started this.

But it's really easy to get all wrapped up in them and be like, well, you know, if these things aren't happening to me, then I'm failing. No, that is not true, I am not failing. If my video doesn't make it on the fucking trending page, I don't care. None of that matters to me anymore. And I wish that I could just sit down with all of the YouTubers in this space and be like, listen, this is not what this

whole thing is about. Why did you start doing this? You know, how does making videos make you feel now? How, you know, how's your life outside of all this? Do you have a life outside of all this? I know that there's a lot of YouTubers that do not, and their happiness relies on the success of their channel, which I totally understand because I've been there, but I'm now over that. I'm like, no, fuck all of that.

I'm not gonna let this affect my emotions. I'm not gonna let, you know, whether it's a good thing or a bad thing, let's say my video gets on the trending page on YouTube, I'm not gonna let that affect my mood any more than if it doesn't get on the trending page. It doesn't fucking matter. It does not matter. It does not matter.

None of that fucking matters to me. If one person or 10 people or a thousand people or 10,000 people, whatever, whatever, if they watch my video and they felt comforted and safe and felt like we were having a conversation one-on-one for even just 10 minutes, I don't care what scale it's at. I enjoyed making it. Hopefully somebody felt a feeling of comfort

when they were watching it. And I don't fucking care about the rest. I don't care about the whole superficial element of it. I don't care if it's on the trending page. I don't care if, you know, I know YouTube has this new thing in the creator studio. Creator studio is like the app that like shows your analytics and stuff when you upload a video. Oh look, so on my last video it says, less people are interested

in this video than normal. It literally says that to me, I don't fucking care. I do not care. I don't care if doing collabs with people makes me, makes my videos perform better. I don't care if doing collabs with people makes my videos perform better. I don't care if me doing a video about this topic or that topic makes it do, but I don't care. I'm over it. Anyway, sorry, that was very passionate. I don't care.

And I really wish that I could have a conversation with every single fucking YouTuber or social media person in general and be like, listen, the grass is always greener, you know, and be yourself, be true to yourself, be honest with yourself, make things that you care about, and the rest will fall into place and happen as it will. And you don't have to fucking worry about it. You don't have to worry about doing crazy shit. You don't have to worry about anything. It doesn't matter.

Period. If we're skiing to worse, and you know know all this went away from me. The internet died. It all turned off. Time for Emma to figure out her life. I have a lot of interest outside of this where I'm like you know what I could make a career out of something else. Whether it was opening a coffee shop or becoming a therapist. That's kind of like a dream I've always had. Or whatever, life doesn't end when the internet ends. When my phone turns off, my life doesn't end. I have fucking normal things that I think about and care about.

I think about, fuck, well, I mean, at my age, what do girls think about at this age? clothes boys and Food Huh who can relate at it's like okay. I'm a normal 19 year old girl. I think about literally those three things probably and my cats. That's like four That's literally probably all I think about. But in like, oh, and I mean, obviously,

my friends and my family. But like, that's what I think about. That's where my mind's at. I don't, like, my brain doesn't think about the internet. But I do kind of want to segue out of this into kind of a different area of this topic. Let me have a little coffee break though. This episode is brought to you by LiquidIV.

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why having your internet career kind of end, maybe isn't such a bad thing. why having your internet career kind of and maybe isn't such a bad thing. And what I've kind of realized recently, I have a lot of really, really severe anxiety about my privacy. And the thing is, I never want to talk about this stuff, okay? Because I don't want to come off as ungrateful, because I'm exactly the opposite.

I'm so fucking grateful for every single thing that's ever happened to me, and for every single opportunity I've ever gotten, and for the fact that I've been able to make connections with all of you guys in whatever way that is, you know, whether it's by you watching my videos or listening to my podcast or watching my fucking TikToks or following me on Instagram. One way or another, I've been able to connect with so many people and I've been able to do so many amazing things and, you know, I went from, you know, being being so scared of how I was going to find a job that

or make money from anything that I was passionate about, but that being my dream, to that dream coming true and me being able to make my childhood dreams come true of being able to live in a house one day that's always been a dream of mine and that came true and like, you know, being able to support myself financially after, you know, feeling guilt for years about relying on my parents financially because I didn't have a job because I was too young, but I always felt guilt about that. And I think that the greatest gift that this has given me is having a that this has given me is having a way to support myself that also comes with such an amazing community and also allows me to do something

that I enjoy doing anyway, which is make videos and make podcasts and things like that, and allow that to be how I make money. Like, it's a dream fucking come true and I never wanna take any attention away from that because I really am so fucking grateful. But there is a lot of things that come with it that are really fucking tough as there are with anything in life. And part of it that I'm struggling with right now is my privacy. It's crazy when everybody, not everybody, it's fucking not everybody at all, but when there's a large group of people that want to know about everything that you do, right?

And I'm 19 years old, okay? So I do shit. I date people. I break up with people. I have made mistakes. I've done things that maybe aren't like things that I'm necessarily proud of as everybody is, you know, I've done crazy shit. I've done dumb shit. I've done smart things. I've done stupid things. I've done like everything. I'm a normal 19 year old.

Like I'm not perfect. I've made mistakes. I've like not like, you know, things that are crazy, but like normal mistakes. Like when you're 19 years old, I'm not gonna get into it, but you can like imagine the things that you do when you're 19. Right?

It's like, this is like my college age. So like, I'm growing up. I'm figuring all this shit out, right? And some things are fucking dumb that I've done. And I'm like, I'm learning every day, like I'm figuring this shit out. The thing is that's so scary about it is that, you know, and I think the thing that I struggle with most is that like, I don't really have a lot of room, I feel like sometimes,

to be like figuring out this whole growing up thing. It's not very private for me. It's like, I'm growing up in front of people, right? And so I'm figuring all this shit out in front of people and If I like I'll give an example. I'll give an example This is not something that's happened, but I'm just gonna give an example Let's say one night I went to a party and I was like fuck it. I'm gonna drink alcohol Even though I'm not supposed to I'm underage, but like let's say I did that. Let's say I got really fucking I got a little sloppy and Somebody takes a video of me and they post it

like I am going to be heavily judged for that whereas if I was on the internet in any capacity and I Did the exact same thing. I was in college, went to a party, got drunk, even though I wasn't supposed to. And I got a little crazy. No one would really, nobody would really know about it. You know what I mean? And it would kind of just be like, nothing ever happened because nobody would really be caring about it. So that's kind of an example of why it is tough,

because it's like, I think that a lot of people might forget that people on the internet are human. Don't get me wrong. People on the internet have a responsibility that is much different, and they have, you know, to be a lot smarter about the things that they do possibly because they are, you know, like some people, there's some people's role models and, you know what I mean? So, of course, there's that responsibility, but at the same time, everybody's human.

So like, these things still happen. And I think that that's, I hold myself to this standard of being perfect. Emma, you cannot fuck up. You know what I mean? You cannot, you can't kiss the wrong guy. You can't do this. You can't do that. You can't, you know, be caught doing X, Y, and Z, like the whole thing.

And it does give me anxiety because I'm like, God, I need to be perfect, I need to be perfect. Or else I'm gonna let everyone down, you know what I mean? Not only people on the internet that support me, but also people in my real life. I feel this constant need to be the fucking perfect person. I am not, though. I'm not. I'm a normal teen girl for fuck's sake. It do dumb things sometimes.

Never that hurt anybody. I don't do dumb things that hurt people. And if I do, it's a huge accident, and I will fucking own up to that shit immediately. But like, you know, I do dumb, normal shit that fucking people do, like everybody else. But I feel this guilt about it that haunts me for sure.

Like if I, it's not even like the things I'm doing are dumb, they're probably, or the things that I've done in the past, they're probably normal. But because I'm, you know, I do've done in the past, they're probably normal. But because I do what I do, I feel guilt about them. I feel guilt about doing normal teen things.

I'll give you a great example. Fuckin' come out and tell you something right now. I remember when I was in high school. I was at a concert. And I think I may have kissed three guys in the same evening. I did. I'm, like that's something that like I'm embarrassed of.

Right? That's not against, that's not with my, that doesn't align with my moral compass, okay? Like I don't feel very good about that. And like if for some reason like everybody found that out, like I would be embarrassed. I mean now I'm fucking telling everybody so it's different now I'm in control so I don't care.

And I was also like 15 and like what I was enjoying myself. Let me look, I mean yeah, it was funny because I was 15 but I literally looked like a newborn child because I went through puberty when I was 16, so I looked seven years old. But that's something that I've done. That's an example of something dumb that I've done. I am normal, I'm a normal fucking teen.

I did shit like that. I continue to do shit, not shit like that, but I continue to do things that are normal. Those things are normal, not for everybody, not everybody's gonna do that, right? But people do shit like that. That's against their moral code. That's against my moral code. I don't know why I did it.

I don't know why I was just. I don't know why I was just like, fuck it, I guess, like whatever. But like, I feel like I can, I can, there's less room for me to like, you know, do dumb shit like that now. And like if I do do dumb shit like that, that's like against my moral code. I'm like, not only am I afraid of like, how I'm, how I feel about it, right? Like not only am I afraid of like,

my own opinion on something that I've done, I'm also concerned about, you know, what if more people find out about this and then I have an audience that's judging me for the dumb shit that I've done. Dumb shit meaning, oh, stuff that's harmless, right? Me kissing three guys in one night when I'm 15 doesn't harm anyone It's not in my best. It's not my best moment

But it's not harming anyone, but I like and concerned about every action that I do even stuff that doesn't harm people because I'm like I'm like growing up in front of everybody. And that includes the good, the bad, and the ugly. And that's kind of why I sometimes, I'm like, you know what, if this all went away, I don't want it to. But if it all went away, that pressure would be lifted. Here's the thing, I'm trying to find a way

to lift that pressure from myself. To be like, am I it's okay to be a normal teen? It's okay to fucking go to a party. It's okay to be a kid and learn and experience. It's okay, that's okay. And that's normal. And that's not something that most people probably wouldn't even frown upon it.

Some people on the internet might, some people in my life might, actually not in my life, but it's not, I've never been, I'm very transparent with the people in my life. So everybody knows about every single thing I do, every single day, I wake up and I breathe, and everybody, all my family and friends know about it, all like 10 of them, 7 of them max.

But like, you know, there are some things that I get to keep private and like that I get to I'm learning and going through as I'm growing up and I'm very excited, I'm very excited for the day when I'm like 30 or maybe like 26 and I can just tell all the stories of all the dumb shit I'm like 30 or maybe like 26. And I can just tell all the stories of all the dumb shit I'm doing right now and that I did when I was younger. And it'll be funny stories that will be far enough in the past where it will not be too fresh

for me to tell the stories. But for now, I'm making the memories. I'm growing up, I'm being a teen and It scares me but It's normal and that's what it is and I need to stop being so hard on myself and being so fearful of like being a normal kid. So I Don't know if any of that shit just made sense, but we have questions, so let me go

through, find some questions. I asked questions about this topic, and we're going to get into it. So let me find some. God, you guys are asking the best questions about this. So many good ones. Let's get into it. Question time. My tailbone hurts because I'm sitting on the ground.

Oh, my God. Oh, God, why does it hurt so bad? All right. Somebody said, how do you continue to value yourself if you're being insulted on the internet? I know that social media can be brutally honest thing and some people have no filter. I think that for me, it's like muscle memory now.

Like I've learned how to just not care anymore and to talk to the people that are in my real life and get their opinions and talk through it with them and kind of just realize that I have people in real life. I have a really amazing support system. I have really good friends right now. And, you know, small group of them, but I have a really solid group of friends. And, like, my parents are just amazing. And my family is really amazing at supporting me. It took some time, but we're all on the same page now, I think. And so, you know, I think just listening to them

and listening, oh, and like, team, even, I have a really amazing team that I'm really close with, that has helped me through this whole thing and they're just like so amazing and like, I feel like they're my fucking guardian angels. So, I literally, like, I have such an amazing support system that I don't let mean things on the internet bug me in general, but like if it does bug me,

like I don't let it bug me for long because I talk through with these people and they reassure me like Emma, I know you, I know you're a good person, I know that you work hard and you care about what you do. It doesn't matter what people say because they don't know you. They do, but only as much as they can.

They've never met you. You know what I mean? So don't sweat it. And they're right. They're always right. But now I've kind of gone into a place where I'm like, all right, there's so many voices on the internet. I'm not going to let one or a few of them bug me because there's

so many people that don't have the same opinion as the say, hater. You know what I mean? It's not like everybody is a hater. There are people that like me and that like you don't feel the need to say things that are mean and unnecessary. Like there are many of those. So I'm going to focus on those, focus on the people in my real life and you know, check in with them and make sure that I'm on the right track. And then I'm gonna move forward and I don't really let it bug me.

It definitely doesn't affect how I value myself. I base my value on the type of friend I am, the type of person I am in real life and how I treat people on a day-to-day basis. That is how I value myself. If I'm being a good person, and I'm treating other people with love and respect, and I'm doing my best to be the best person I can be, that's how I value myself now.

It has nothing to do with anything on any fucking screen that shit is not even real you know what I mean it's not real life so why would I be judging myself off of that that's toxic moving on why do you think people become irrelevant on YouTube after a period of time where everyone loved them and now no one watches them anymore I don't know I don't know. I don't know. I think it can be multiple things. I think it can be number one that they didn't necessarily evolve and they may be stayed inside of a box of doing the same things over and over again.

And people just got bored of it. Even if that was still what they wanted to continue doing, people were just like, well, we've been seeing this for X amount of years. Like, we're over it. I think that that can be part of it. I think, you know, sometimes people just lose their love for it. And it shows, you know, I mean, even I've like gone in and out of love with YouTube. And sometimes it shows, you know what I mean? It happens. It's normal. So, but some people, it's like they grow out of it almost. They're like, God, I'm just like, not into this anymore. Like it's not my passion anymore. And, but they're like, but I feel strapped.

I feel like I have to keep doing it. So then they do, but then people are like, well, we can see that you don't really care about this anymore. And so then they're like, we're out. Which some people have said that about me. They're like, we don't feel like you care about this anymore. Which I understand, but that's not true.

It's more like, with me, I'm just growing up. And so like, my enthusiasm may seem a little different. Like, I'm kind of relaxed a lot. Like, I'm not as I watch my old videos and I think I'm so fucking annoying because I was loud and like super enthusiastic and crazy, but that's just not who I am anymore. Like, I'm an adult now.

I don't have that energy that I had when I first started. That doesn't mean I'm not passionate about YouTube and that I don't love doing it. It just means that my demeanor may be a little bit different because I'm a fucking completely different person than I was when I started. Next, do you fear that someone may be using you for views and to gain more relevance? Have you ever felt that?

Yes, absolutely. That is why I have literally, let me count. I maybe have five friends, like Max, like Max, like on a good day. Like I really don't have a lot of friends. My circles really small. And it's just because I don't want to be used. And I don't, and I have been, and I just don't want that to ever happen again. So I either keep my relationship super private, or I have relationships with people

that I know are in it for the right reasons. But this is something I fear with, like, you know. I fear this a lot when it comes to like, there's so many things, you know, like, when you fucking grow up and you start a family, right, and you like get married, it's like, there's an added level of complicatedness, if you will, when you are worried. You're like, God, people do use me. What if somebody fully just uses me,

even marries me and uses me? And the weight of it becomes a lot scarier when you start to make these big life decisions, like who's going to be in your life for the rest of your life? Ideally, like all of those things are 50 times scarier when you have that fear of being used. And like, you know, before I was on the internet, I would have been like, who fucking cares if you get used? Like, I don't know.

Like I would not have sympathized with this statement, but now I'm like, you know, and I even think about other people, and I see other people on the internet getting used, and the whole thing is shitty. That's kind of why I've decided that I prefer to just kind of do all this on my own. Like, I like doing my podcast by myself,

and I like making my videos primarily by myself, sometimes with my really close friends, but mainly by myself and I like making my videos primarily by myself sometimes with my really close friends but mainly by myself because like there's no risk of being used. I'm not I'm then not using anyone. Nobody has to worry about me using them. It's clear that I'm not using anyone because I'm not asking them to do things with me for this. I keep those relationships really off the internet so that nobody's worried about anybody being used and it's all just genuine. And then eventually maybe forces can be combined, but I'm kind of over just working with people that I don't even really know that well to, you know, because it's like, it could potentially be beneficial for everybody involved because that turns toxic quick.

Let me tell you about that. So like, I think it's better to just, I just, I can't, being used as the worst feeling, there's nothing worse. And like, that actually affects how I value myself and myself a seam, really badly. And so I found that avoiding that at all costs is best option for me. Somebody said, do you fear being forgotten? No, I don't anymore. I mean, do I wanna be forgotten?

No, I would hope that some people would remember me. If one day I decide I'm out of the internet and I'm like, no, I'm outta here, I'm not gonna do this anymore. I would hope that at least a few people remember me and are like, you know, I really got something out of her videos and I thought she was cool. I mean, I'd love that, but there's nothing I can do.

I can't control how I'm remembered or if I'm forgotten. I can't do anything about it. So I would hope that I had a good impact on some of you and like whatever, but there's nothing I can do. There's nothing I can do to control that. So it's like why spend time worrying about something that you cannot control. But I do my best on a day-to-day basis, and as I continue to do all this, to hopefully, you know, impact people in the best way possible, and you know, but what happens next happens next

and there's nothing I can do. Somebody said, do you think there's a way to avoid becoming irrelevant? I don't know. I mean, I think, yeah, if you wanna, I think some people cause drama and stuff like that because that isn't a immediate way to, you know, it's an immediate way to kind of get shit fired up again.

But do you really wanna do that, you know? Like at what cost? I fear drama with every bone in my body, I hate it. It's my like least favorite fucking thing on this planet. So I would rather just let nature take its course and like, you know, not, you know, sell my soul to the YouTube devil to not become irrelevant. I'd rather, like, if it happens, it happens,

there's literally nothing I can do. Next, somebody said, do relevant people pretend to not know less relevant people on purpose? I think that does exist in this community. There's a lot of shit like that. I would, what the fuck, I mean, that's just disgusting and gross.

I hope not. I mean, I know that that happens, but that's just the dumbest thing I've ever heard in my life. Like, who fucking cares? What does someone being relevant have to fucking do with anything? It's so not important. It's so not important. I just think it's so dumb. God, it's such a toxic way of thinking. And that's why I wanted to talk about it in this episode because like,

it's such a toxic mindset and so many people are stuck in it. And I can't even blame them because you know what? It is really hard to see through the matrix of the YouTube community, of the fucking illusion of being on the internet. It's really hard to see through it. And so I get it. I can't even blame people for thinking the way that they do. It's not good and it's toxic, but also like, it's pretty hard to snap out of it. It's like being in the matrix.

And once you realize that none of this really matters and that like, you know, what really matters is like what's actually happening in the real world with your two feet on the ground, it's like taking a red pill. You see through it. But not everybody takes the red pill, the YouTube red pill of the matrix, the YouTube matrix. I hope this is a good metaphor. But, yeah, not everybody sees it. And so, and sees through it.

And can you blame them? It's almost easier not to. I don't actually that's not true. I think it's easier if you see through it. But if you see through it, but if you see through it then it's kind of dark and it's kind of upsetting and it can be kind of scary and I don't know, but whatever. Moving on. Somebody said, how do you feel about cancel culture? Do you think it's toxic or is it necessary?

I think that this kind of relates to what I was talking about earlier. You know, everybody is a human. We're all human here, okay? I think that sometimes things get taken a little bit too far with cancel culture, and sometimes a line is crossed. I think that there's something to be said for holding people accountable for their mistakes. I think that that is important, but I think that the way

that the internet goes about it right now is really, it's a little bit too, it can sometimes be a little bit harsh and a little bit not helpful, right? I think that there's a balance. It is a case-by-case basis. I think with some situations, it's like, you know, somebody gets confronted and then they address it and they're like, I'm so sorry, I've learned and I'm moving forward. And I hope that you guys move forward with me. And it can be a positive thing. I think it can be a really positive thing if everybody does the right thing, right?

That meaning that like somebody, you know, realizes that they've made a mistake and they truly change and they truly learn from it. And everything, you know, can return back to normal and it be positive. And that person had learned. And I think that can be a really good thing. But I think that, you know, there's some things that are, some people think you're unforgivable. And that's okay because whatever everybody's entitled to their own opinion, I think when it gets too crazy is when there's death threats or there's intense bullying in hatred even after the person has tried to make amends because I think that

you know people can be angry right people can be angry the people can do what the fuck they want period but I think that with some scenarios some people are like I fucked up and I'm really sorry but you know people continue to harass them about it. The thing is, I think that the way it needs to go is that once somebody says, hey, listen, I'm sorry. I truly did not mean X, Y, and Z, and I am different now. I think that people usually deserve a chance. I think that sometimes there's things that are just like fucking,

I don't know, it is a case by case basis. But I think a lot of times people have learned, you know, and people have whatever. And it goes back to like, everybody makes mistakes. Everybody makes mistakes, okay? I don't think that people shouldn't be held accountable for them, but I think that people should be given a chance to try and make it better and prove that they've changed. And I think that a lot of these people wouldn't have learned the lessons that they've learned

or wouldn't learn the lessons that they have learned through these experiences without having, you know, it be broadcasted on the whole internet. But I also think that what people need to understand is that like Everybody is human and everybody fucks up sometimes, right? And so you know, it's this balance of holding people accountable and educating people but also being open-minded to like this person might have needed to Learn their lesson and they might learn it.

And they probably will. Most people who, you know, get canceled, learn a great deal from it. And truly, either are more careful and won't, you know, accidentally, will be more sensitive and more thoughtful to things moving forward if it was something that they did on accident Or if it was something that they did on purpose that was a mistake They're gonna change the whole way that they think about everything. I don't think that this stuff like doesn't change these people's lives You know, I mean even me. I've been you know, I've been confronted on things that I've done that haven't you know been insensitive and I have learned

from them and apologized and now I know and I'm grateful. I'm grateful that I was held accountable and I'm definitely going to think about things so much differently moving forward. I just think that it's a balance. And I think that people, most of the time, are excited to change and become better people and keep doing what they love and whatever. And I think that a lot of people do deserve to be given that chance to prove that they're different and that they have learned.

I think that's important. I think why not give everybody a chance most of the time. I mean, obviously there's certain things that are just kind of like, you just, you know, but for majority of things that I think are going on in the internet, I think that, you know, everybody's learning and growing in front of an audience and things are going to go wrong. It's inevitable. So, you know, teach their own and you, you know, as a viewer or whatever, as a fan, you know, you can decide what you do next,

whether you want to support them or not. And that's up to you, you know. But there's nothing wrong with giving somebody another chance and with giving somebody a chance to to learn and Become a better person. I think that's a beautiful thing Although it is you know, it can be quite overwhelming and crazy and scary when Instead of having your parents be like hey, you you messed up here. You did something wrong. You need to fix that It's you know The internet and it can be crazy. Next, somebody said, do you have other careers or backups? You could fall back on if YouTube stopped working out.

For sure, I'm really passionate about coffee. And I love podcasting even if people still wanted to listen to that. And I still love making YouTube videos. I mean, even if, like, for some reason, the only way I think right now anyway, in this present moment, I'd stop making YouTube videos is if YouTube got banned from the United States,

similar to TikTok. I heard TikTok's getting banned. That's like the only way that I, right now, I mean, obviously, I'm not gonna probably do YouTube when I'm 80 years old, maybe. But, who knows? But, you know, I have a lot of other things that I'm interested in. And I think coffee being the main one, I'm so passionate about that and like learning more about that and just, you know, I have some exciting things coming with Chairman L of coffee that are really exciting. So I try to keep my excitement and my passions, not all my eggs in one basket. I like to have my eggs in many baskets so that I'm excited about many different things

and all of that. Somebody said, if your YouTube views are lower than usual, do you question your relevance? I don't. To be honest, I'm like, you know what? YouTube is such a fast moving place that if I decided like, it's not like it can't just, like let's say one video doesn't do well. Your next video might do better than any other video you've ever uploaded. It's not like, you know, it's all like so relative and it all like, it fluctuates so much that like, you can't be hung up on one video

You just keep moving forward and you keep making videos and you keep loving what you do and like That's that you know what I mean you can't be hung up on one thing it'll fucking Paralyze you so that you can't keep going it'll make you Stop because you'll just be too obsessed with every single little thing Last question I'm gonna answer It'll make you stop because you'll just be too obsessed with every single little thing. Last question, I'm gonna answer. Do you think there's an equilibrium point between being irrelevant and being really relevant? Yes, yes.

For sure. I think that there's a point where somebody may have had their had a big moment where they were kind of a huge topic of convo. And then things kind of settle down, right? Where it's like just the people that really, really love and care about that creator are the ones that are watching, not like everyone.

Cause it or not, like it's everyone, but like I think that there's a balance. Like sometimes there's, you know, a lot of creators hit a point where like, they might be like a big topic of convo for a little bit. Maybe it's for a year, maybe it's for a few months, and then things kind of settle down naturally, and people move on to someone else that they're like,

that is kind of the focus of and people move on to someone else that they're like that is kind of the focus of the internet at the moment. I think that it's actually better to not be that person that everybody's like that's kind of, you know, maybe up and coming or whatever. I think it's almost better once things kind of settle down and you kind of just have your people who fuck with you and that you fuck with them and that it's this fun, happy community and things are kind of settled down. I almost think that's better and that is something that affects views and that is something

that maybe affects likes or something. But I think it's healthier because it's not like you have all these people that don't even necessarily care about you watching you. It's like things end up settling down and you just have the people that really love and care about you watching you. And the other people kind of got weeded out, right? And I think that that's not a bad thing. A lot of people fear that time.

I don't. I think that that's the most beautiful time of being on the internet. When you get to make whatever you want, have fun. People are watching that care, and the other people kind of disappeared, and they don't care anymore. And those were probably the people that were the haters anyway.

And it kind of all settles down, and it's actually maybe something that's kind of healthy, and there's a balance. And some people might consider that to be irrelevant, but I think that's just finding your core people that fuck with you and like that you vibe with whatever and like making shit for them and then watching it and it being fun, you know?

I love that. I think that that's an amazing time. I don't think that that's being irrelevant or whatever, fuck that word in general. And I don't think that's anything to fear. I think it's actually probably the healthiest way to be on the internet is to instead of being this almost viral moment like being like, you know, on the internet comfortably

with people that, you know, like what you make and whatever and it being this comfortable happy thing. I think it's amazing. And I don't think, I think even if it affects the views or affects the likes or affects, you know, how many people are talking about you, who gives a fuck? It's a lot healthier and it is probably a lot more positive. It is a lot more positive.

So, any who that's enough for today, I'm out of here. I hope you guys enjoyed this episode. It felt really good to talk about this. I think it's something that's so important to talk about. And I hope that if you are a creator and you're listening to this, that maybe this gave you some peace of mind so that you can sleep at night for once. I know that we aren't sleeping.

So I know it, you know, and I think being on the internet right now is crazy and it's a crazy time. And it's in everybody's learning and everybody's growing. And it's almost like a great awakening. And I feel like everybody's like, it's weird. It's weird. And it's crazy. But I think that there's a lot of learning

and a lot of growing that everybody's doing. And I think that, although it's scary, I think it's important. And I think that although it's scary, I think it's important and I think that in order for the internet to be fun and lighthearted again one day, you know, times like this need to happen. And so that's that. I love you all so much.

Thank you guys for listening to me every week. Thank you to the ones that watch my videos and that just support me in general. I appreciate you more than you know. And you guys are fucking awesome and your savages in a good way, like Megan Salian saying, savage. All right, I'm gonna stop. I need to get out of here. I also kind of have to poop a little bit.

So anyway, that is why I was actually gonna answer more questions, but I actually have to poop. So I am out of here. I also kind of have to poop a little bit. So anyway, that is why I was actually gonna answer more questions, but I actually have to poop. So I am out of here. I love you all so much. Have the best day. Have the best week. Put your phone down for a little bit today. Maybe it's for two hours.

Maybe it's for the rest of the day. Put your damn phone down. Log off. Live in the real world for a minute. It will help with your anxiety. I promise I'm going to do the same. Peace out y'all.