anything goes with emma chamberlain - why do i hate myself?

Episode Date: August 27, 2020

One of the more deep and emotional episodes of Anything Goes. Emma talks through her recent struggles with low self-esteem and self-confidence. What causes these feelings, the impact it has on us and people around us, and how we can get to a point where we’re comfortable in our own skin. Plus, answering a bunch of questions on relationships, how to tell if you’re in love, and will Emma ever do the WAP dance?? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hi guys, welcome back to anything goes. I'm going to be straight up with y'all. The universe was on one today. I woke up this morning, I felt good, I made myself breakfast, I went to a hair appointment, I was getting my roots done and like getting my whole head a different shade of blonde, which seems as though it would be a relaxing activity. It wasn't. My anxiety was so through the roof.

I think it was partially because my phone died and then I was forced to sit with my thoughts for a few hours until I asked my hair person for a charger because it was killing me that I didn't have my phone. But I kind of want to talk about a lot of things because during my slight anxiety attack today, I realized a lot of things that have been really unhealthy about my mindset recently. And like I really want to talk it through with you guys

because even though this is about me and this is like not, you know, I don't know what you guys are going through and what you guys are dealing with and all of that is so personal but There might be parts of this that you guys need to hear because I know that I need to give myself advice today I need to like reflect on myself for a second and like really Analyze why I'm behaving the way that I am and like you know put my ego aside for a second and like reflect. And so we're going to do that today.

And the main thing that I've been doing recently is I've been being way too hard on myself, y'all. And it doesn't really make sense. But I think that it might be that I've been going on my phone too much, going on TikTok too much. I don't know. But I'm finding myself comparing myself to like other people on social media constantly. Like, and it's super weird because I never have this problem.

I'm normally very content in my skin, or at least within the past few months, I feel like I've been very content and happy in my own skin and very confident. And I've just been feeling really good. I mean, I had a rough patch before the good patch, but I don't know, I've just been doing so good. And that's why today I realized like, am I, why do you hate yourself?

Like I have been just shitting on myself constantly. Okay. I'm talking about like, I'm in the car with my friends and I like looking at myself in the mirror and I'm like, and I can't look. Or if I'm like looking, I'm like staring at myself in the mirror and like picking apart like my face, like just like looking at it and like thinking about everything I hate about it.

And when I'm like around people, I'm like constantly thinking about how I'm looking from their point of view. It's so weird. Like I'm so hyper focused on my appearance. And you know, I even had a little, a little meltdown and I archived Instagram photos that I thought I looked ugly in and all of that.

And I don't understand what's wrong. Really, I really don't know. Like, everybody in my life is so loving towards me. My parents are so loving. My friends so loving towards me, so supportive is so loving towards me. My parents are so loving. My friends so loving towards me, so supportive, so complimentary towards me. Like, I don't understand the problem. And I wonder if other people can relate to this.

Why do we as humans decide to have low self-esteem when there's no reason to? Like, in my, you know, what are normal, let's think for a second. What are normal things that make me insecure? For me, it's like acne. That used to make me really insecure. Like, if I was bloated or if I hadn't been eating the best that week and I feel like I'm not taking care of myself

and that could make me feel kind of like shit, although it shouldn't because we're human beings and we can do whatever the fuck we want and we should never beat ourselves up about anything. But those are the normal things that make me feel bad about myself. But it's weird because I've been taking care of my skin, I've been eating well and taking care of my body.

And I mean, all of that. And that's why I'm so stumped as to why I've been so hard on myself recently. I really do not know. I really, really genuinely don't know. And I think it's just a matter of, I need to make a conscious decision right now to like turn that around.

Because guess what, it's not fun to be around. Like I was thinking about it today in my chair when I was getting my hair done and I was like, Emma, do you think that people want to be around you when you're complaining about how you look all the time? When you look fucking normal, there's nothing wrong, and there's no way that anything could go wrong because the exact body that you're in is like the body that you're in, and you should love it for exactly what it is

in that exact moment. What is your issue? Like, there's no way that that's fun to be around. It's not charming to be around someone who looks in the mirror and is like, I don't wanna see that. Like that's not charming, and around someone who looks in the mirror and is like, I don't want to see that. That's not charming.

And if my friends were doing that, I'd be like, hey, don't do that. What the fuck? And that's exactly what my friends do. And my family, they're like, I'm a stop. What's your issue? You know? And I don't know. I don't know.

And I'm making the conscious decision starting now to turn that energy around because to be honest, I don't think that it's some sort of like thing that can't be changed. I think all it takes is just me making the conscious decision that I'm not going to think like that anymore. The problem was that it happened slowly. And like next thing I knew it, I realized, Emma, you are like not happy in your own skin right now.

You know, and that's a hard thing to admit to yourself. To be like, you hate yourself right now. You know, it's hard to admit that to yourself, because you're like, no, like I'm fine, whatever, whatever. But I truly realized that like, it's not something that I, it's not a way I want to live. You know, I don't wanna live like that. And it did, it got slipped under the rug

and I didn't notice for a while. But the thing is, there's nothing I can do. There's nothing any of us can do about the body that we are born into and the life that we are born into. It's about making the most of it. And, sorry. It's about making the most of it and sorry. It's about making the most of it, being proud of it, being grateful for it. And like, thinking that you're hot shit because you

are, the thing is, I've had a lot of like humbling experiences recently. Like a lot of, you know, this might be part of it. A lot of like decent, like really, really great and amazing things. I said decent, but then I was like, that's not even remotely the right word. Like I've had some really great things happen to me recently that like, you know, are really good and make me feel really good. And like, you know, some accomplishments, I've accomplished things that I've like wanted to for a long time. And, you know, I've met people in my life that I really love and care about and things like that. And that's the type of stuff that I should be so excited about and that I should be

celebrating. But I weirdly think that I, as a coping mechanism, am beating myself up to try to balance out the positive things that are happening in my life. and beating myself up to try to balance out the like positive things that are happening in my life. Everybody is happy, everybody is healthy, all of that. There's nothing for me to be upset about. I'm happy, I'm out of all of that. I mean, I'm happy, I'm like not, I feel pretty good.

But like I'm healthy, everybody that I love is healthy, in safe, and you know, things that are really, things that are really exciting are happening to me. And I think that my brain is like, Emma, this is too much good stuff happening. I'm about to fuck it up right now. Yeah, I'm gonna fuck it up. And I'm gonna make you have really bad self-esteem issues

for the next two weeks. I literally think that that's what my brain did. And I'm making the conscious decision to turn that off. And I encourage you guys who are dealing with something similar, whether you're dealing with it right now in the present moment, you're going to deal with it in the future or you've dealt with it in the past and you're thinking maybe, you know,

how could I have handled that differently? I think that it's really making a conscious decision to be like, you know what, I have decided that I'm going to appreciate myself. Because the thing is, is that that leads to so much happiness everywhere else in life. You get to live in the moment when you think like that. You're funner to be around, more fun,

but I like to say funner. You're funner to be around, more fun, but I like to say funner. You're funner to be around when you feel good about yourself. You're a better friend, you can care about others more deeply. You can empathize with others more deeply when you love yourself. And those are all things that are so important to me. A few episodes ago, I talked about how one of my main core values was keeping strong relationships with the people around me. A few episodes ago I talked about how like one of my main core values was like keeping strong relationships with the people around me. The problem is when I'm having these issues

with myself a steam like I can't be there for others like I normally am. And that's natural, that's normal. You know, you're not always going to be completely emotionally available. I mean, that's impossible. You know, but it's a challenge guys. It really is. It's really a challenge. But I really, I mean, I've never really consciously been like, hey, Emma, you're gonna love yourself now. Like, it's time. You have nothing to hate about yourself. You're a good person and you treat others well.

And, you know, you do your absolute best. And, you know, all of that. I've never told myself, like, let's do better here. I normally like do things to make myself feel better, such as I spend time with other people or, you know, put my time and energy into taking care of my body and all that. Like, I do that instead, but I think that weirdly this time, it's not that easy for me. I also think that a big part of it is that, I'm out of place right now where I've struggled with a lot of things that made me insecure for a long time.

One of them being acne, and one of them being, I was taking this medication for a period of time a few months ago during the winter. And this medication was making me really puffy in my face in swollen constantly. And during that time, I was super insecure because I felt like ugly and like actually funny story. During that time when I was taking that medication I felt like ugly and like actually funny story.

During that time when I was taking that medication, my face was really swollen and I had a bunch of acne and all of that and it was just like really uncomfortable and like I just didn't feel good because of the medication. Like someone that I respected their opinion a lot at the time, now I don't at all. one that I respected their opinion a lot at the time. Now I don't at all. They, like, said that I was super unattractive

behind my back. And I found that out a few months later, after, like, you know, me and this person drifted apart. And we weren't tight anymore. But like, after that, I found out that, like, that person was like saying that I was ugly behind my back. And this was a person that like I was really close to for a decent amount of time. And you know, it hurt me really bad that like they would say that behind my back

and that like they didn't they didn't really even want to. yeah. So that really damaged me because it was like, this person knew I was on this medication. They knew that like my face was swollen from it. They knew that it was making me really insecure yet like they would say that behind my back and like that really fucked me up really bad. Like to this day. And I think it's made me, like recently,

with this whole, like, random self-esteem issue, that's kind of come back up for me. And I worry, or I am constantly thinking about how I look around my friends and stuff like that, because I'm constantly thinking that, like, what if my friends think that I'm ugly? Because that's happened to me before. Where somebody, who I thought was a friend,

or somebody who cared about me a lot, because that's what to me before. Where somebody who I thought was a friend or somebody who cared about me a lot, because that's what they told me. Like, where was like fucking calling me ugly behind my back. To like somebody that like, they didn't even know that well too, which is like even weirder, you know? Like going around and like talking about me behind my back and the only thing that you have to say about me

is that I'm ugly. And we were like really close. I mean, it was just like mind blowing to me. I mean, like, I wish it wasn't true, but that's like kind of coming back up to haunt me. I don't know why that hurt me so bad, but it did. And randomly, that's been haunting me a lot.

And so I think that that's why all these insecurities are coming out in front of my friends and stuff like that, because I'm already kind of low, self seems already kind of low for no apparent reason. And then, you know, randomly my brain is like returning to that and, you know, thinking about that time when that person said that about me and I found that out. And that's just like weirdly on the forefront

of my mind, even though that person is completely not in my life anymore and like doesn't matter and their opinion doesn't matter. And they're obviously not the best Person ever if they're calling me ugly, you know what I mean? I don't know but regardless like that shit stinks and I think what I need to Really really put my time and energy and focus into right now is like Realizing that it's not about what other people say.

Like who cares if somebody says that you're ugly? Like who gives a fuck? It's about what you think when you look in the mirror. How do you feel about yourself as a person, as, you know, all of that. The other thing is too, looks really don't matter that much. Like think about somebody that you love so much. You probably think that they're very beautiful to you. Even if they're not fitting whatever the fuck standard that society has blah, blah, blah, blah, shut the fuck up about that. It doesn't matter. Like people

become beautiful to you and become attractive to you when you care and love them, when you care about them and when you love them. That's just how it works. So at the end of the day, let's say you're dating somebody and they don't know something conventionally unattractive happens to them. They get a shitty haircut or they get a full buzz cut. Or I don't know, they have a like a allergic reaction all over their face. Or something. Like are you gonna think that they're any less attractive when you're like fully in love with this person? No, you don't give a fuck.

And the same goes other way around. If you have the right people in your life, they're not gonna be judging you for your looks, for fuck's sake. It's just insane to me. And there's some people in your life where you don't have that feeling towards them, where you don't love them like that. And that's normal too, and that's fine as long as they don't know the, you know, that just doesn't need to be discussed with that person, and that's that. But more of the story is here, I'm making the conscious decision to only listen to myself, look at myself in the mirror

and love whatever the fuck is there that day, bloated, not bloated, breaking out, crying, laughing, tan, not tan, whatever it is. I'm going to make the most of it. And it's hard. It's hard to come to terms of that. It's hard to be happy with exactly the body that you're in. But, you know, the thing is is that I remember as a kid, I mean, I've always been very, very critical of myself and very hard on myself about everything, right? Just like by nature, like I've always

been like, I'm a you suck. Like that's just the constant voice in my head. And I think that's very standard for human nature. But I remember feeling like that constantly. And then I remember an adult telling me, I mean, you're gonna grow out of that. It gets so much easier when you're older. And I was always like, what? Like, how is it possible?

Like I feel like I'm always gonna be like this. But ever since I had this realization today, the hair salon that like, I need to love the body that I'm in, I've realized like, the bigger picture, which is that, yeah, like, who cares? Who fucking cares? If you have the right people in your life, then loving yourself is so much easier,

but also it does need to come from within. And I think it is something that you need to find within yourself. And that's something I'm still figuring out. And I'm gonna do my absolute best to convince myself that I'm the hottest person I've ever seen every single day when I wake up. Is that realistic?

No, but I'm gonna do my absolute best and try to have the best success, right? With that that I can. Because we all deserve that. God, I'm getting like emotional. I like got choked up for a second. This episode is brought to you by State Farm. There's no instruction manual when it comes to being an adult.

Sometimes I lay away at night rehashing something I said earlier that day, or I lay in bed at night thinking about something I said earlier that day, or lay in bed at night thinking about what the future holds. I know I'm not the only one going through a lot of what ifs. Like, what if I get into a fender bender? Or what if my home gets broken into? But state farm can help you with some of those big what ifs. They're available to answer your questions day or night. You can reach them 24-7 file a claim on the State Farm mobile app or simply call your agent to ask what's on your mind. Like you good neighbor, State Farm is there. Call or go to StateFarm.com for a quote today. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is more than a website builder. It's in all in one place to make an online space that's entirely your own.

Their all-in-one platform allows you to customize everything from the fonts and color scheme to your domain name. All you have to do is choose from one of their beautifully designed templates as a starting off point. Then, add whatever you need to show off your ideas to get your side hustle on.

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And let's all really, really make an effort to like really, really care for ourselves. And I think that that's such underrated advice. I really like, I know that like, everybody's always like, love yourself, it's so not easy. And sometimes there's no reason for why you are not loving yourself in the way that you should.

And normally when people say this shit, I'm like, shut up, like shut up. I'm always saying that. But I also think it shit, I'm like, shut up. Like, shut up. I'm always saying that. But I also think it's because I'm so in denial of the fact that I am really hard on myself. And it's not just with my appearance. Like, I've been really hard on myself about so many different things.

Like, you know, constantly thinking that I'm annoying when I'm around people, which causes me all this unnecessary anxiety and causes me to like not like say things when I like wanna say things. And like I'm always like backtracking and be like, I don't, I shouldn't say that. Oh, I shouldn't say that.

Oh my God, that was annoying what I said. Like whatever, that is so annoying to be around. People like confidence, baby. We don't want any of that. But I'm doing that right now. And that's not even me. That is not me. But the thing is addressing it head on,

noticing what you're doing, and realizing that you want to make a change so that you can have a happier life is one of the hardest things to do. You know how uncomfortable it is for me right now to say that I've been insecure recently and that I've been like kind of annoying like with the way that I'm like backtracking everything that I'm saying and like triple thinking everything that I'm saying and quadruple thinking, you know how I look every five seconds. Like I literally wore makeup to dinner the other night

and I went into the bathroom and I was like, oh my makeup looks like really blotchy and I just took out a makeup wipe for my pocket that I coincidentally brought. It wasn't a coincidence. I knew that I was gonna have a freak out about my makeup and I took my whole makeup off in the bathroom because I was feeling so insecure about it.

Who gives a fuck? Like why? Like why did I, I went in the bathroom for like 10 minutes to take my makeup off? That's just like not living freely. Like we need to be living freely here. And I mean, the thing is like, obviously like, you know, it's checks and balances.

Like it's not like you're gonna be perfectly confident all the time, whatever. But I think that truly loving yourself and everything that you're doing and all of that is just so crucial for having a good life. Because I'm noticing that it's affecting everything for me. It's affecting everything for me. It's affecting like my anxiety, you know, it's affecting like my friendships and my relationships and my ability to be there for others. And like I'm done.

It's embarrassing to admit that you've been slipping, but I think that that's the first step to fixing it. And so I'm gonna be working on that. I encourage you guys to work on that too. And also, you know, be proud of the things that you create, whether it's a homework assignment or a project or it's something for work or it's an art, something you painted something or whatever,

you sung a song, I don't care. Being proud of those things, because I am never proud of things that I create rarely. And that's just so sad. Like, I work hard on these things and I deserve to feel proud of them, but I never give myself that. I never let myself feel proud of myself,

and I'm done with that. I'm gonna start being proud of myself for what I do, and hold myself accountable for this shit that I don't do or the shit that I do wrong. And that's just the end of that, Miss Bitch. I really am making this a Miss bitch. I really I really And making this a goal and I really hope that you guys do too The other thing I've been struggling with is like focusing on

my past like I feel like I've just been thinking about like my past decisions and all that and like just regretting things that I've done and You know I talked about this with I believe my bestie Olivia, I think I talked about this my friend Olivia But I don't remember who I talked about with so good. I don't know. It doesn't really fucking matter at all um And you know, she was like, I'm like, listen, we are who we are because of our past.

We would be nothing without it. And you know, you can have done things that you don't, that you're not proud of. You know what I mean? Or things that you don't feel good about or things that you like places that you fucked up. But like, where would you be without those things? Like, I would not be the person I am without every single thing that I've done, everything.

And it's actually funny because I actually recorded, so the episode that you're listening to now was supposed to be a different episode where I talked about, I told you guys a story about this week that I had, I had this like terrible week, um, last week where like my plumbing, like basically the plumbing in my house had to be turned off, had to go to a hotel. I like the same weekend, I like got hives and like on my face during dinner and like all this shit happened, right? And I recorded a podcast about it and like I also needed to get my nails done super last minute while I had to like be at my home for the plumber. It was like this whole mess of a week right and everything went wrong about it. But I listened to it and I sounded set like such a whiny little brat right. I was just like complaining

complaining and planning for the whole episode about this terrible week that I had. And, you know, I listened to it back and I was like, Emma, you don't sound good here. Like you sound like a fucking spoiled brat, you idiot. You're just like, you're talking about how you had to get your nails done for a shoot. And now that was stressing you out. Was that stressful for me? Yes, it was. And it was like a tight time crunch. Yes, but talking about those things, Emma, is not the right message to spread. And so I listened to that and I was like, I'm not proud of that at all.

And I felt like shit about myself when I listened to it because I was like, Emma, you sound like a brat. And I know where I was coming from, which was not a bad place, but I also like, wasn't proud of it. And I wasn't proud of the way that I sounded in it because I sounded like a fucking brat. And it hurt my ego a little bit,

and I was like, damn, that sucks. Like I thought I was better than that. You know, I thought that I was better at conveying a message better than that, and like not making it seem like I'm sort of bitch, right? That just like is complaining about dumb stuff that doesn't matter at all to anybody but me, but I, alas, I fucking sat down and recorded a whole episode about it and it was awful.

It was awful to listen to for me. And so we're scrapping it and we're doing this one instead, but I mean like in the moment I was like, I'm a you suck for that. Like that was just a shitty episode, you little stupid bitch. But then I started thinking about it more and I was like, I'm a you suck for that. That was just a shitty episode, you little stupid bitch. But then I started thinking about it more and I was like, that's a super useful lesson. Like me complaining about things that don't really matter is not cute. And I've never thought about that before. You know what I mean?

I always feel like venting and whatever is healthy and normal. But I I think that like, and it is, but I think that to a certain extent and like, you know, everybody has such unique struggles that unless it's helpful for others, I'm not going to share it. You know what I mean? The story that I told and the things I was complaining about, it wasn't helping anybody. So what's the point of that? But that's something that I learned. I never thought about that before. And me listening to that episode back made me realize that. And that is super valuable.

So now I'm trying to look at it. Like instead of being mad at yourself for recording a whole episode that is not useful and just made me sound like a fucking spoiled brat, instead of like being angry at myself for that, I'm going to learn from that and only share useful things moving forward, something that's funny, something that's interesting, something that's educational,

something that's helpful, like anything of that sort that just has a positive impact. I don't wanna be like, you know, spreading like any kind of negativity at all. And I feel like that episode gave me that energy on accident. I didn't even mean to do that. And there it was. And like, you know, I'm looking at it now in a way

where I'm like proud of myself for realizing that. And I'm proud of myself for like not putting that out because I wasn't proud of it. And you know, it was a learning experience. And the thing is you have to learn from this stuff, not beat yourself up over it. And I think that that's like huge. You know what I mean?

Me recording that shitty podcast episode that made me seem like a spoiled brat, taught me something and is going to change who I am forever. It's a small little thing, but it's gonna change who I am forever. It's like if little thing, but it's going to change who I am forever. It's like if you kiss somebody that you wish you didn't kiss. It's like, that seems like it's just a stupid thing that like, it doesn't matter and it seems like inconsequential, it just sucks to think about.

Like, let's say you like, you like had a crush on an asshole and you like, kissed him and you're like, uh, I wish that I like didn't have that on my list. I think most people can relate to that feeling. What did you learn from that though? You learn that you want to hire your standards next time. That's a really random example, but I just like, I've been, I've like talked about that with people recently, so it's all my mind, but like, you learned something from that experience, you know what I mean? And it didn't go for nothing. And anybody who is going to judge you for the things that you've done that you're not

proud of yourself doesn't understand the big picture, which is that that makes, that made you who you are. And that's just that motherfucker. That's all I got on that. I mean, really, I think that we all need to be so much easier on ourselves, so much more loving towards ourselves, and make that a priority right now. Let's all change our mindset. It's a conscious decision to be like, I'm going to have a better relationship with myself starting right now and I'm going to do everything I can to make that possible because it's just you and you.

You're working with yourself here and it's not easy and I get that and it's a process but the first step is to become aware of the fact that you have an unhealthy relationship with yourself and then you can start taking steps to fix it, because you are in the driver's seat. I am in the driver's seat right now. This is totally in my control. And if I'm motivated enough, I can fix it. And I will. And so will you guys, if you guys are struggling with something similar, if you are down the

line or whatever. So I really hope that, you know, that is something that, you know, either you guys can relate to, um, whatever. I hope that it was useful. That's always my goal. And, um, if you guys are going through a similar thing, I just want you to know that I'm here for you. We're in this thing together. It doesn't matter who the fuck you are, where you live, how many siblings you have, how many toenails you have,

I don't give a fuck, everybody struggles with this shit. And it really sucks to see yourself in a spot that you're not proud of. I'm not proud of where my head's at right now. I'm not at all. But it took me having a meltdown about it to realize that I'm gonna make a change. And I mean, for fuck's sake, I could wake up tomorrow and it could be better. And I could wake up a week from now and it'd be completely gone in a fucking memory. And that's exciting to me, and that should be exciting to you guys too. This stuff is not like, maybe it'll take more time,

maybe it won't, but it's exciting to know that we have the control to change that stuff. Let's get into questions. Sorry, I was strong, my mouth. This episode is brought to you by LiquidIV. You might think that hydration is only necessary after intense crazy activities like working out. But if you think about it, running errands is still running.

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liquidiv.com. Okay, I'm going to answer some questions now that do not relate to this topic because I feel like it. So, I'm literally just going to do like a roulette where I just like scroll my finger and then stop on one. Somebody said, hey, am I been having so many mental breakdowns and identity crises these past weeks and I don't know what I need to do to make myself feel better? Is there anything other than therapy that can help me lighten my mood and enjoy life,

love you in the podcast, love you so much? I did touch on a lot of that just now, so like I feel like, but I do want to talk about identity crisis because I definitely have these all the time, especially recently. And I mean, even right now, even right now, I think I might be kind of having one. Just trying to figure out like, who am I? Trying to get back in touch with that, you know what I mean? To be honest, I think it really comes down to like talking it out with yourself and having a real conversation with yourself, checking in with yourself.

I never do this. I avoid this at all costs. I hate it. I hate like being in my own mind by myself because what happens? Cripplingly terrible anxiety. And I think that's because I avoid like having a loan time in my own brain sometimes, being alone totally fine for me. But being alone in silence, consciously thinking to myself and talking to myself, avoiding that at all costs.

But I think that's really, really important because I think that you need to figure out what your goals are for yourself. And you can also write it down, journal, make a list. I did this today. I made a list of all the things that were bugging me and all the things that were making me really anxious and all the things that I was doing that were hateful towards myself. I wrote them all down. And then on another page, I wrote down a bunch of things that I want to improve on and that I want to see myself do. It could be anything.

It could be picking up a hobby. It could be ways that I want to speak to myself in my own mind, things like that. Just wrote them all down. And that really helped me. Somebody said, what's something really embarrassing that's happened to you with a guy, like an embarrassing guy story?

Okay, I'm thinking of one, this is kind of a lighter, funnier story. So basically, I had been talking to this guy for a really long time, right? Like a really long time, but only over text, never face time, nothing? Like a really long time, but only over text, never FaceTime, nothing. We had only texted. And to be honest, I was very intimidated by this guy

because he was like, really cool to me. And like, somebody who I like weirdly admired, not even weirdly admired, like genuinely admired this person was like, holy fuck, like this person's really cool to me. Like, they have a really cool, like they're just cool. Like it was like scary to me. And I was,

so I was intimidated by this person for sure. And we texted for a really long time and I was like scared of this person. They actually had asked me to hang out one time. And I lied to them and told them that I had a fever for like a whole week and refusing out with them out of fear. And then they actually ended up going on a trip for a really long time. And so then we couldn't hang out for a while anyway. And we just texted while they were gone and it was interesting and fun.

And by the time he got back from his trip, I was like virtually in love with him without even really knowing him at all. And I didn't know him at all at that point. And he didn't really know me either, but I think that we both kind of had like a, like, I don't know. I mean, I guess, I don't know.

I think we just had a feeling that we would click pretty well. I don't know. But basically, after this whole month of us talking, he gets home from his trip and he's like, it's time to hang out. And at this point, I'm like, fuck, I already put this off like a month ago before you left on your trip saying that I had a fever And I didn't have one and that was a lie and now I've been pushing this off and now there's all this buildup because we've been talking for like

A month, a month and a half and now I'm really nervous because I was nervous before but I didn't really care Now there's more feeling involved because I'm like, oh shit, I've been talking to this guy for like a month over text and now I have to meet him. And it was like texting every single day, like not one day that we didn't text towards the end of it. Like the, so, and we were very excited to meet each other. And like that to me was like so much pressure. I was like, oh fuck, I need to be like perfect for this guy

Okay, so it's that night. I'm calling everybody. I'm texting everybody. I'm like, oh my god. I'm so scared I'm so scared. We're hanging out one-on-one. I'm like, this is my worst nightmare. I am so terrified right now I have no idea how I'm to act. I was like There's no way I'm to be able to like act normal here. I'm gonna be awkward. I really hope this goes well So I'm getting ready. I'm freaking out freaking out on the phone with like everybody like screaming me like I can't do it I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I cannot do it. Oh, no, I can't do it I'm wow weird. I have a fever again like I cannot do it and then I I'm, where do I have a fever again? Like I cannot do it.

And then I remember I went, I was like walking up my stairs. I remember it so vividly because it was like, it was very vivid to me. And he calls me. He facetimes me and I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I was so scared. And I was like, all right, let's go, let's do it. So I answered the call and I don't even know.

I think he was gonna get food or something. So he was like asking me about it. Like what do you, what I want it or something like that. And when I tell you guys, I could not get one sentence out. Like it might, this might be a had to be their moment, y'all, but like I, he was like, okay, I think I'm gonna go to this restaurant. Is that cool? And I was like, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, yeah, yes, yes, yes, yes. I, no, yes. And then he was like, oh, what do you want to eat? And I was like, oh, maybe like, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, like maybe like, what, have you ever, have you ever, have you ever, have you ever, they

have the pizza there? Ah, that sounds good. Like y'all, did not get one sentence out properly the entire phone call. I hang up, I sit on the floor, and I'm like, Emma, you just fuck that up. So fucking bad. This guy is not even gonna show up. He probably thinks you're so weird. You literally couldn't get a sentence out, you freak.

Like I was so embarrassed. And I mean, he ended up coming over. The whole thing was fine. But seriously embarrassing. Don't know if that scenario was ever discussed. So, I don't know. I don't know if that was something that like only I was aware of or if they were aware of also, but super cringy and sad. I really felt bad for him.

I'm actually surprised he showed up. So, mad kudos to him for showing up after that. So, that was a really funny embarrassing boy story. Hope you guys enjoyed that. Okay, somebody just said do the WAP dance. If you guys don't know what the WAP dance is, it is a TikTok dance trend that is going absolutely viral

on the TikTok platform. So, here's the thing. How do I put this? I will never do the walk dance ever. Here's the reason. I cannot find the bone in my body that would allow me to shake my ass on the internet. Listen, nothing against anybody who does. Do whatever the fuck you want.

It is none of my business. And that is true. But you will never see me shake my ass on the internet. Not to mention, I don't really even have one. So that's kind of like, that's system error right there. Like, I don't have one. So that kind of complicates things too. You know, it's like, well, don't have an ass.

So how am I supposed to figure that one out? You know what I mean? Anyway, we'll not be doing the walk dance. It is funny though, because I'm like seeing like, people do this dance and it's just like, listen, I'm not judging anybody. I don't wanna, this is not like, shitting on anybody or judging anyone at all.

I really don't care. It's everybody's business, it's their business, it's none of my business. But it is crazy to me that, that like that is a dance trend. It blows my mind. And like seeing like really like grown adults doing it is just so funny to me and it's just like bizarre. There's nothing wrong with it.

There's not I'm not judging anybody for it, but it is very bizarre to me and I hope that you guys know what I'm saying. Listen, if I if I could do that dance, I would. I might try it just for my own personal kind of enjoyment, if you know what I mean, but when it comes to that being on the internet, no promises on my end here. Somebody said, when you started your YouTube,

did you fear what people would think in your hometown or at your school? I wanna go after my dreams, but don't really have the confidence and fear people's opinions and judgment. Thank you if you answer this. Of course, I am answering it. I was super scared. Luckily for me, I started YouTube during the summer and I literally didn't hang out with anybody the entire summer. I think I hung out with one person and like she knew about it and she was probably judging me deep down, which is totally fine,

but she was nice about it to my face and that's all that matters. The thing is, is that, you know, what I did was that I just didn't tell anyone. I just didn't tell anyone and I just started doing it and nobody knew about it and then eventually people figured it out and found it. But the truth is, like, people weren't really that judgemental. You know, do they say say shit behind your back? Yes, but it doesn't matter because there's a bigger picture. And the bigger picture is, these people that you're around right now in high school, you're

gonna be away from and four years or less. Whereas pursuing a passion, that is a lifelong journey and that is a lifelong thing that brings you joy if you decide to do it for your whole life, whatever that passion may be. Think about the bigger picture. And I think that that really helps because that's kind of where I was at.

I was like, okay, am I gonna get a few dirty looks in the hallway, possibly, am I gonna get laughed at? Possibly, are people gonna say that I'm looks in the hallway? Possibly. Am I gonna get laughed at? Possibly. Are people gonna say that I'm doing this for nothing? Possibly. But I don't care because there's a bigger picture here. And if it works, then look who's gonna be laughing now.

You know what I mean? It's like who ends up laughing when you succeed at that goal? Amen. Ooh, this is such a good question. Oh my God. I love this question. I almost want to do a fucking full episode on it, but I won't because I talk about relationships

and dating and love too often. But it's just something that fascinates me so much and like consumes so much of my mind as a teenager that I cannot stay away from the topic. I think that that's super common. I don't know what it is about me, but I'm obsessed with relationships, not even necessarily my own,

but other people's and analyzing their relationships. I just love that shit. Really, I'd be a relationship therapist if I wasn't a YouTuber, and I mean that. But, Alas, here we are. I wonder if it's, I wonder where it stems from, to be honest, but how do you know if you're in love? You know, I, okay, so it's crazy

because I think that you think you're in love multiple times before you actually are. And I think it takes being out of the situation to realize that. So the first time I thought I was in love, in retrospect, I think that I may have been, but it was so not reciprocated that I don't even know if it counts.

Like I was very in love with this person. Like the first time I really was in love with somebody. But the thing is, is that they treated that love so badly and that for constant forgiveness and unconditional, like they were not unconditional with me. The thing about love is that it's unconditional. You know that it's love when it is that way. When you like look at somebody

and you're like, you could literally do anything, you could say anything, whatever, and I will still love you regardless. That is when you you truly love someone. Obviously if they're a fucking asshole, that's different, but I'm saying, let's say somebody came to you and was like, I'm feeling really bummed out, I need your help.

If that's a no-brainer for you, that's step one. If somebody doesn't look so good that day and you still love them just the same, that's unconditional, that is another check. If you would literally go to the ends of the earth for that person, like if you would do anything, drop anything for them, that's unconditional love, that's love to me as well.

I think that it's rare to feel that feeling towards someone where you're like I would do anything for this person and I would go to the ends of the earth to help them if they were in need or work things out with them. I would never give up on them unless like you know sometimes love fades and that's totally normal and healthy and it sucks ass but it does happen. But I think that if two people unconditionally love each other and they're in love, I think that there's very, very few things that could get in the way of that because when you love somebody that deeply, you will do anything to keep that relationship as strong as you possibly can.

Are you gonna argue sometimes? Of course, are you gonna butt heads on things? Maybe are you gonna have communication problems sometimes? Of course, these things are all normal. It doesn't mean that you're not in love or that your love for this person is non-conditional. But it's about how you handle it and your motivation and your drive to fix it.

Like, the thing that I realized was, in the past, I never really was concerned about maintaining my relationships in their health, because I was kind of not, I didn't love the person enough, I don't think, to like fully care about like keeping the relationship as healthy and strong as possible. Like I was more like focused on myself and my ego

in these relationships and I wasn't as focused on like the other person and like keeping my relationship with them as healthy as possible. Does that make sense? Like I was thinking about like, well I don't want to bring that up to them because like fuck them, they don't deserve that. You put your ego aside when you're in love with somebody.

You put your fucking everything aside and you're just like fully there with and for that person and you don't think about anything else. You don't think about talking to anyone else. If you're in a relationship and you're dating, you don't think about talking to anyone else if you're in a relationship and you're dating. You don't think about whatever. And listen, you can think that you're in love 100 times and you probably won't be in my opinion. This is all my opinion and my experience.

I thought I was in love before, but that's just because I'm fucking sensitive. I didn't realize what real love felt like until I did actually fucking feel it. And then I was like, wait, that is actually the craziest thing that I've ever felt in my life. It's very, very different. And to be honest, I think that real, true in love, true love feeling for someone else is something that I believe is more rare than we all let on. Don't get me wrong though.

You could have a great relationship with somebody that you maybe aren't even in love with, but you love them and you think that it's working and it's fine, but there's this different feeling when you're in love with someone. It is a very different feeling. It's so much more selfless. You don't give a fuck, but there's no ego in it. That's so much more selfless. Like you don't give a fuck,

but there's no ego in it. That's the big thing. If somebody's like competitive with you in a relationship and stuff like that, and like competing with you or judging you for things or like whatever, that is not being in love. That is like you might love the person, but you're not in love.

And if there isn't like a crazy amount of mutual respect and all of that, it's not real love. Like it's a very, very, very sensitive, very touchy, very special thing. And honestly, the thing about when you're really in love with somebody is that you'll also know because you're gonna be really scared of it, I think. You're going to be like, this is really, really terrifying to me.

You're going to be very scared and you're going to think that you're dying because you're like, why do I feel this feeling towards this person? It's such an overwhelming feeling that you feel like you're dying when you're feeling it. Like you literally feel like you just wanna lay in a bed and stare at a ceiling for days on end. Like it's almost like a, it's a very emotionally exhausting feeling

when you're in love with somebody I think. And the last thing I wanna say about being in love is that you can't even fathom doing anything that would hurt them. Like the thought of you cheating on them, like makes you sick, like even thinking about like the fact that you could do that, because you wouldn't, but the fact that like you could do that, and the fact that like that would ruin the whole thing, like you have almost a phobia of ruining it

because you're so in love with that person and you just wanna do, you never wanna hurt them even a little bit. And the thought of hurting them at all, like literally makes you wanna burst into tears. It's an extreme feeling, but it's so special. And I believe that everybody feels that, at some point in their life, one way or another,

and it really is special. And I think that you can feel it multiple times in your life too. I don't think that that just happens once. I think you can feel it multiple times. I think you might just feel it once. You know, you might feel it with your family, although we're talking about in love,

but, which I don't think you're usually in love with like, you're, I mean, you love your family, but you're not like in love with but which I don't think you're usually in love with like you're, I mean, you love your family, but you're not like in love with your family. That's weird and incest. You could be in love with a friend though in a way too. Like I think that that can kind of go both ways like friend, but I do think that there's something to be said for relationships in the emotional intensity. Like the intensity and the fear when you feel that shit is like really, it's really intense. I could literally talk about that all day, but I will stop because I bet you guys are like, I must shut up with the Sappy shit.

Shut up. Somebody asked me, how do you compliment boys? I always compliment, I don't know, that's a good question. We need to have a male on this podcast so that we can ask. I don't know. that's a good question. We need to have a mail on this podcast so that we can ask. I don't know, I think with girls, as long as you're not complimenting something that's rude, if you're like, ah, nice ass, like you can't really go wrong

with complimenting, like I feel like as long as you're being respectful about any compliment, it's good, but I know that with guys it's harder because it's not like you can be like, oh my God, you look so pretty today. I feel like for me with guys, I will say, like if it, I mean, you can just be like, oh my God, you can call them in their outfit, of course,

if you like it, or if they don't have a good outfit, you could be like, oh my God, like your hair looks really good today, or oh my God, you just look so vibrant today, you look so good today. Oh my god, you just look so vibrant today. You look so good today. It's awkward though. Commenting guys is really awkward. I don't know.

Cause you can't be like, wow, you look so handsome. Like what the fuck? Yeet. I don't know, that one, y'all stumping me on that one. Once you're like dating somebody, it's easy. Cause you can be like, oh my god, you look so good. Like whatever, and it's like easy, but like when you're not dating somebody,

it's just like a friend or something, it's like a weird balance where there's not really words in the dictionary for it. But you can just tell them, oh my God, you look good today, King. I don't know. Somebody said, tips on how to avoid buying clothes, thinking that you like them,

but then you never end up wearing them. It makes me feel guilty because I just wasted my own or my parents money money, thanks I'm a love you, love you too. I used to do this all the time and what I've actually figured out is that every time I'm going to buy a piece, I come up with three outfits in my head that I could wear it with. And if I can't come up with three, I'm not going to buy it unless it's like a crazy statement piece that like I'm obsessed with and that I'm literally going to frame or something,

I don't do it. I think of three outfits in my head that I could wear it with stuff that I already have or stuff that I could easily get. And I think that really narrows things down because I think a lot of the times, you have like something where you're like, well, this is cool but like I don't really know where it. If you can come up with three outfits for it, you're probably going to end up wearing it.

If you can't, you probably won't be able to. God bless you. Somebody said, you're someone who is really raw on here with your past on social media. But do you ever, from time to time, get anxious slash panics from it? How do you handle this type of situation? I love you, stay safe. Love you so much. I do get anxious about it, you know? Because, you know, there's people that I talk about. There's a story. I told stories about people today in this episode. There's always a chance that those people are going to listen and whatever, but I doubt

it with most of them or all of them. I don't think any of them would listen to this. Any of the people that I have run friends in my whole entire life, except for maybe two of them that are like my friends and like so it's like funny, but like I don't, I don't, that does make me anxious, but at the same time it's like, I try to keep it broad enough where even like the people might not even know that it's about them, you know, or like whatever. And at the same time like I really hope that a lot of the stories that I tell in the personal experiences

that I talk about are helpful to people. And to me, as long as I'm respecting the privacy of whoever I'm talking about, it's like, what else am I supposed to talk about? As humans, we share life experience. This is, I can't talk about anything else. I want to talk about my experiences in life. And like, I want to use those to help you guys.

Because that makes me feel better about the pain that I've endured. Or the good moments that I've endured helps me show my gratitude for those moments and all that. So like, I'm careful about it, and I'm thoughtful about it so that nobody ever knows who I'm talking about or whatever. I do my best anyway. I mean, and, you know, there's always guesses

and stuff like that, most of which are usually not right. But that's okay, have your fun. Sometimes they're right, who knows? Either way, by me telling the story, I hope that I helped someone and more made someone laugh or whatever. And that's kind of the end of that. So it does give me anxiety,

but at the same time, I combat it by remembering that these stories could maybe potentially help one person. And that makes me feel good. So, somebody said, hey, am I was wondering if you have any advice on making sure people are not in your life for the wrong reasons and are just using you? What should you do about it? I hate this because I have, I'm gonna get really deep with y'all.

I've talked about my feelings a lot today. This is stuff that I don't even talk about with my friends half the time, but it's a lot easier when you're in a room by yourself and it's just you, you know what I mean? I really struggle with this and you know, it may seem like something that's like dumb to complain about, but I actually had anxiety about this today, to be honest. It's like, I've had so many instances in my life where I've been like, wow, I think I've really good people around me. And I've been wrong. And, their true colors show eventually, and they were in it for the wrong reasons.

And I think what scares me the most right now is that the people in my life are people that I love more deeply than I've ever loved people in my life before. Like my very small circle, I love them so much, and I trust them with my life truly, and I truly know that they're in my life for the right reasons, but at the same time, my ask got trust issues a little bit,

because naturally, like I've been used before, you know, for whatever, and for different connections, or for, you know, X, Y, and Z, whatever, like, if this has happened to me, time and time and time again, and I get it, like whatever, like know, X, Y, and Z, whatever, like, if this has happened to me, time and time and time again, and I get it, like whatever, like it's fine. It doesn't happen all the time. There's a lot of people that come and go in my life

that never even wanted to use me. They just maybe weren't the right fit. It's not like every single person I've ever had in my life has tried to use me, but there's been a few instances that really, really stick with me, where I've let somebody into my life with open arms and they've just turned around and stabbed me in the fucking back so bad to a point where like

I'm so terrified of that I know that heartbreak that I felt when that happened to me was so painful and I know it would hurt 50 times worse if it happened with the people that are in my life right now. And so it's terrifying. I think the thing that you need to remember

is that like every person in your life is unique, every single person in your life is different, and you need to let them show you who they are. If somebody is very conditional with their love for you, very conditional about when they help you, when they are there for you, stuff like that. That's a pretty tell-tale sign that they're in it for the wrong reasons. Another way to tell is if they only want to be around you, if you have something to offer that day, And they don't just want to spend one on one time with you. That's a huge thing.

If somebody wants to spend one on one time with you, off of the phone, no money involved, no other people involved, nothing, no other factor. That's a great sign that they are in it for you because they like you and they like to be around you. It's even worse with dating. I think that dating the whole using for blank thing is even worse and it could be whatever,

like using for money, using for somebody else's body, which is fucked up or using someone for, in like LA, like fame, in like LA, you know, like fame, things like that. Whatever, and it's even more painful in that way. And that's why it's so scary, but I think I've found that like, you let people prove you wrong, and you give people a chance.

And, but you have your guard up and you keep your eyes peeled. And if you start to see something that's a red flag, don't ignore it, because I ignore red flags. Like, a specific example would be, like if I meet someone and they like want some sort of like, shout out of some sort or some sort of tag, some sort. I'm like, no.

Like you don't wanna hang out with me. Why you just met me five minutes ago, why are you asking me to post about you? That's so shallow to me. And that's something that I noticed, a lot of people do that. And I guess what, I ignore that a lot. I've ignored that in the past. And it came to bite me in the ass.

So don't ignore the red flags and be honest with yourself about where you think their heads at. Your gut knows. You just don't want to admit it to yourself with some people and Cut those people out before it gets too painful because the second you're in love or something That's when the shickets painful. Not like you'd even be in love the second you think you're in love or the second You think that that's your bestie and you're ignoring your red flag. That's when shickets painful. So Anyhow, I'm gonna answer one more and then I'm out of this bitch because I need to go to bed and like relax because I had a really weird day, a really weird day.

Okay, last question's another dating question because I don't know why I love them so much. This is really interesting and I don't think I've ever talked about this. So if you guys are here all the way at the end of the episode, thank you for saying and this is a fun one. Do you think it's okay to talk to multiple people at once, all of which you could maybe see yourself dating, but of course assuming that everything is casual so it's not a cheating situation.

So this to me is a little bit messy. I don't tend to talk to more than one person at once. I really don't like overlapping it. Listen, I get it. Sometimes you're testing the water with a few people because it's just, you don't know which one you're going to like. You know what I mean? You have to try new things.

Dating is kind of sifting through everybody to find that needle in a haystack. And sometimes you need to have a few hay pieces in your hand to find the needle because you have to move them around. Good metaphor, Emma. Anyway, there's a self love coming through. Anyway, personally for me, I don't do this for multiple reasons. Number one, I usually don't like more than one person at a time, and half the time I'm talking to somebody that I don't even really like.

And so then that just ends up going nowhere. So that's number one. Number two, I think that it can be messy because if you end up like getting serious with this person really fast, it can end up becoming messy because it's like, oh shit, now I have all these loose ends, right? Like let's say you're talking to five guys, burgers and fries, let's say you're talking to five guys. This is like talking about me,

cause I'm a, like I'm using me as an example. Let's say I'm talking to five guys, I've never done that in my entire life, but I'm just, again, using me as an example. And I end up finding one and I'm like, that's the one, I like that one. He me and him click the best, he's really cool, whatever. I'm gonna, I think I'm gonna pursue this guy more seriously.

Now you have four people that you need to be like, hey, sorry, but I am now in a relationship. Sorry. The problem with that is that number one, that's gonna end up hurting those four other guys because they're gonna be bummed, possibly. But also, it's kind of like weird for the person that you're like dating.

I don't know, like, I just feel guilty about it because I feel like I'm hurting more people than like whatever than I would like to. Like, that's why I just would guilty about it because I feel like I'm hurting more people than whatever than I would like to. That's why I just would never do that, but also I don't think I even ever have an opportunity with more than one guy. Every blue moon, let's just say that. So I don't like have like, I've never been the type that's like, I got options. You know what I mean? It's just not me. But listen, I think as long as you're respectful

and as long as you're not leading anyone on or stringing anyone on or being unloyal to the one person that you end up choosing, I think it's fine. If that's what makes you feel good and that makes you feel good and you enjoy talking to all those people and you're genuinely trying to work out like

Who you want to pursue more seriously than like I mean yeah, like work it out. It happens It's normal and like whatever, but I think that it's just important to make sure that all of those loose ends are tied up before you get serious with the new person because You just don't want that messy shit because it can get really messy. And you don't want anybody to be sabotaging your potential relationship that you're trying to grow

and like all of that. So, and as long as you're being respectful and you explain like, hey, you are really great. I loved my time with you, but I am pursuing somebody more seriously and I'm really sorry, but I would love to be friends or you never have to talk to me again, like whatever you want, I am, you know, pursuing somebody more seriously and I'm really sorry, but like I would love to be friends or, you know, you never have to talk to me again, like whatever you want, like I don't care, but just like I'm sorry and like be honest and, you know, don't ghost them.

I mean, I know that like a lot of people just ghost people and that's fine, do whatever you want, but in my opinion, I think it's just so much better to be in good graces with everybody, communicate and move forward. Um, and yeah, I mean, that's that. But I do think it gets messy when you're like consistently, like maybe even being romantic with these people. Like, if you're being romantic with like a bunch of people at once, that can be like consistently. That can be really, really emotionally damaging for you at least in my opinion. I mean, some people are totally cool with that.

Multiple people at once and it doesn't fuck with their head, but I don't feel like that would be so good for my brain. I think that would really, really confuse me emotionally. So any huzurs, that's that. That's today's episode. I hope you guys enjoyed. Thank you for listening to me. I hope that this was useful.

And I really, really like loved getting super personal with you guys enjoyed. Thank you for listening to me. I hope that this was useful. And I really, really like loved getting super personal with you guys today. And I hope that you guys liked it. Let me know if you want me to do more stuff like this where I just really, really talk about my feelings. I am a huge advocate for talking about your feelings. I say this to everybody. I think that talking about your feelings helps you grow and helps you learn from things and I think it's just so important so whether you're listening to me and you're fucking

talking back to the screen. I don't give a fuck. Just talk to somebody about what you're going through and put your ego aside and work through it. I love you guys a lot. This was very deep. Very deep. And yeah, you guys are the best and I will see you guys next week. Ha ha, peace out.