Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Adam Carolla!
Episode Date: July 25, 2022Kippy & Foley are joined by radio legend, Adam Carolla! Thanks for listening. Love youse guys. Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/foleygra...ms/ Live Shows: https://linktr.ee/AreYouGarbage PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://www.bonfire.com/store/are-you-garbage/ Dave App: Download the Dave app from the App store right now. That's D-A-V-E. Sign up for an Extra Cash account and get up to 500 dollars instantly. For terms and conditions go to dave dot com slash legal. Instant transfer fees apply. Banking provided by Evolve. Member FDIC. Butcher Box: https://www.ButcherBox.com/AYG ADAM & EVE https://www.adamandeve.com/ PROMO CODE: Garbage MVMT: https://www.MVMT.com/Garbage Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jean
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Hachi, Machi, that middle class famous tour is in full swing,
Gipperino.
You ain't lying, Fatty.
It's a live comedy show.
We play the little AYG with the crowd.
Great way to introduce people to the show.
Bring the squad.
Come out and see us.
We're coming, baby.
Yeah, gang.
These tickets are selling quickly.
So make sure you get your tickets.
We're coming in.
We're going to be Red Bank, New Jersey.
Then we're going to Seattle, Portland, all in August.
Then in September, we're going Kansas City, Springfield,
St. Louis.
Then we're going down under Nashville, hitting Indy.
Coming home to Philly, baby.
The chicken's got to come home to roost.
Then we're hitting Providence, Rhode Island,
up there to Beantown.
Get those tickets.
Let's go.
Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage?
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians
are classy individuals or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back
to everybody's favorite new podcast.
This is Are You Garbage, a little show
we sit down with your favorite comedians
that we find out they're going to be classy.
They're just a big old piece of trash.
I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day.
We're down here at Antutti's basement.
She's over there at the Wawa.
Got a couple of scratchers coming back to the house
with an arrows on her ice tape.
She's having a quiet day, I don't know what to tell you.
Mike Gohose is coming at you from right next to me.
He is the CEO of Are You Garbage.
He is an international businessman.
He is the Prince of Park Avenue,
but always the king of the boards, baby.
Give it up for KJ.
Kevin James Ryan.
Hey, gang, thanks for tuning in.
As always, please make sure you rate,
review, subscribe on iTunes.
Full video available on YouTube
as you know those numbers are.
Trutter off!
Cooking, and then the greatest website of all time,
www.patreon.com.
You can sign up there, join the fucking army of garbage.
We appreciate you.
Sweet Lord, we love that money.
Have a nice quick shout out to our producer extraordinaire.
The magic man makes us all look good.
He crosses the T's and dots the I's.
He works the ones and twos.
Give it up for T-Bone McBuffin.
Tubby McMullin, everybody.
What's up, dudes?
What's up, T-Bone?
Dude, Ziggie Zaggy, Ziggie Zaggy.
Oh, oh, oh, we got a motherfucking Legendary crew.
Let's go!
We got a hot one, baby.
Gang, the long hair, eight line.
We couldn't be more excited to have our Incredibly,
and I mean Incredibly special guests here with us today
for the first time.
He is a legendary comedian, actor, broadcaster,
and now author.
You've seen him in, but not limited to,
get ready for this.
It's a rap sheet on him.
Put a cup of coffee on Jesus Christ.
You've seen him down to you.
Mad TV, Frank McCluskey, CI, Son of the Beach,
Windy City Heat, The Bernie Mac Show,
Wasted Family Guy, The Hammer,
which he also co-wrote and starred in, fantastic movie.
Drawn Together, you got the Sarah Silverman program,
Wizards of Waverly Place, Still Waiting,
Wreck-It Ralph, Cranky Anchors,
Politically Incorrect, Hollywood Squares,
Love Line, Win Ben Stein's Money,
Hannity, Dennis Miller Live, Dawson's Creek.
Fuck it, I'm not at the creek, Jesus Christ.
Howard Stern, Craig Kilbourne, David Letterman,
Oprah, ever heard of her?
Live with Kelly and Ryan, Dancing with the Stars,
Jay Leno, The Soup, WTF, Rachel Ray, The Apprentice,
The Tonight Show, The Joe Rogan Experience,
Hot Ones, Hell's Kitchen, Gutfeld,
and of course you can hear them every week
on the Adam and Drew Show, the Adam Corolla Show,
and Unreasonable Doubt, and he's the proud author
of the brand new book, which you can get
at adamcorolla.com, entitled Everything Reminds Me
of Something, Advice, Answers, But No Apologies,
but the big question of what he's mind today,
is he garbage?
I think he's mad at us to be honest.
Give it up for Adam Corolla, everybody.
Thank you.
Thanks for coming, buddy.
Thanks for having me.
Yeah, what do you mean, buddy?
Thank you so much for coming in, good to see you.
Give us the backstory, what's the origin story
of Adam Corolla?
I grew up in North Hollywood, California,
which is basically, you know,
suburb of Los Angeles, San Fernando Valley.
Grew up sort of poor, essentially.
I mean, my mom is a food stamps and welfare.
My dad worked as a substitute school teacher,
lived in a little one bedroom, one bedroom house.
It was my grandmother's, she bought it for rental property,
but I do want to say this, if you're,
and I don't know if you guys are parents,
but I will say this.
I do not know.
If you're thinking about buying a second house
as a rental property, but then you wreck your daughter,
she's going to live in it for free.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So that's-
I'm going to lose out on some income there.
The business model is, don't have kids
and buy a second rental, or do have kids
and nurture them and buy a second,
but do not ruin your daughter.
She will squat there for the rest of your natural life
with her loser family, and you will get zero in rent,
and she will resent you.
Sure, sure.
Holy shit.
How many, do you have any brothers and sisters?
I have one sister that's a one year older.
One year older, okay.
The parents were together the whole time?
No, they were together until it was about eight or so,
and then they just sort of, they didn't divorce,
they just moved apart because they didn't have belongings.
And when you get divorced and there's nothing
to argue over, it's like, that's my throw pillow.
I'm taking this toaster, god damn it.
Yeah, that's-
You can leave, but leave the hubcaps.
Yeah, if there's nothing to whack up,
you just move out, that's what they did.
That's a very old school thing too,
getting separated but never getting divorced.
Yeah, they both got remarried later on in life,
but initially, it would have been some filings or chords.
Sure.
It cost someone $18 to file it or something.
Yeah, you can get that shit notarized.
It wasn't worth it, they didn't have anything.
Very nice.
So, nobody lives there now, right?
Well, my mom, that house was sold and then demolished.
Okay.
So, the land was worth more than the house,
even though it's in the middle of North Hollywood,
like Studio City Valley Village,
there's not too many teardowns there,
but this was a teardown.
Okay.
And then she then moved into her mom's primary house
after her mom died.
So, not only did she live in her rental property,
but then she waited for her to die
and then she moved into the main house.
There's still one bedroom, one bath,
so there wasn't that big of a man.
Kind of a lateral move.
Bart, but yeah, she's been living in mama's house.
Very nice.
What was the name of the street that the original house was on?
Houston, with a U-H-U-S-T-O-N.
Okay.
North Hollywood.
Not too bad.
Any pets or anything growing up?
We had a cat that just sort of let itself in,
like kind of a stray cat, you know?
Sounds about right.
Just showed up one day?
Well, we had one wall mount air conditioner
because the house was like 100 years old,
so we didn't have central heater air,
but we had the one wall mount,
which was in the den where the one TV was,
and it had the window mount,
the kind of stuff in the window.
And then because, you know,
not all windows are the same width,
they have this weird accordion thing on the side.
To suck the air.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It'd suck it off.
So we pulled the accordion out,
but eventually the plastic gets old and weathered,
and it heat cycles a few times.
Eventually, one of the pieces of plastic accordion
blew out, so then there was just daylight.
So my mom took a gene leg,
a leg from a cut-off gene,
you know, because, you know, that's still good denim.
That's like, why put that in the landfill?
There's, you know, there's 18 cents worth of denim,
and she took two push pins,
and she put it up in the gap
where the accordion was,
and then at some point a cat showed up,
and that was Norman the cat,
and he just hung out,
and that was sort of his doggy door.
He'd just come in, hang out, you know,
and then go back out through the flap again.
You guys would feed him, I assume?
Yeah, he just became, this became our cat.
Dude, that's fucking wild.
Geez.
What was the name of the grocery store
that you went to grow it up?
Well, there was, there was Lucky's,
which was the cheap one,
then there was Gelson's, which was the nice one, you know,
and so Lucky's we would go to, to shop,
but Gelson's I would go to,
because they had a deli counter in the back, you know,
and you didn't have to pay until you got to the front.
Oh boy.
And so I would go there.
He's in the back making a sandwich.
And they had whole turkey legs.
Oh shit.
Big old, whole drumstick turkey legs,
and I'd get one of those,
and then, you know, they put it in a foil bag and stuff,
and then I'd wander around for what I thought
a sufficient amount of time.
And then I'd just kind of stroll, you know,
in through the outdoor kind of, kind of thing,
and then just go eat the turkey leg.
So you're at medieval times.
I know, that's why.
Yeah, minus the tournament.
Or maybe the tournament was me evading the police.
That was the show that day.
Shop at Lucky's and you'd steal at Gelson's pretty much.
He's a gentleman.
Yeah.
At the end of the day.
I respect that.
He's not gonna steal cheap shit, you know what I mean?
Yeah, Gelson's was more expensive,
and that was a higher end place,
but he couldn't really shop there.
And where do you food shop now?
I guess, when I do, it's like Trader Joe's or something.
Okay.
And you live out in LA now?
Yeah.
Gotcha.
All right.
On the coast.
We'll get to that a little bit.
I like to see that.
Growing up, would you drink milk with dinner?
No, I didn't like milk when I was a kid,
so we didn't drink milk with dinner.
I don't think we drank anything with dinner,
we just drank just made some humble pie,
washed it down with some tap water.
Sometimes we'd break it up and eat crow, you know.
Whatever negativity there was to eat.
Would your mom, was your mom a good cook?
No.
No.
Well, I don't know.
She never cooked.
And she could have been great, yeah.
She could have been a Michelin rated chef,
for all we know, nobody knew.
What would be a typical dinner?
What would she make?
Well, my mom was kind of in the hippy-dippy
kind of health food times, you know, 70s and all.
So, she wasn't down with red meat or meat or all that.
So, she would make like a lentil soup
that had, you know, like a meatless lentil soup,
you know, or something weird.
And then at a certain point,
we just transitioned to TV dinners,
cause like, it was too much.
Food was so shitty tasting and nobody liked it
and no one wanted to eat lentil at any age, really.
But, especially at 14 or nine or 11, it's not,
there's no lentil sandwich, there's no lentil casserole.
It's bad stuff.
So, at some point, I guess she would just buy TV dinners.
We'd just do TV dinners, mainly.
All right.
What would you do on Thanksgiving and stuff?
Thanksgiving, we'd go to my grandparents' house
who would do up something for Thanksgiving
and or later on, maybe just go out somewhere.
To a restaurant or something.
Yeah, like my grandparents were like sorta normal.
And I guess we'd go out to like the store.
Did they do okay?
Did they do somewhat well?
Your grandparents?
Or if they had a rental property, theoretically.
Well, they did, but they had one rental
that they bought for $10,000 in like 1952.
That's the one we grew up in.
Gotcha.
And then they had their house,
which is another like $12,000 purchase from like 49
or something.
They bought these two, one bedroom, one bath,
no central air, no central heat,
900 square foot kind of valley boxes.
But my grandmother worked for the VA.
Okay.
Full time, so she had a job, was a VA,
job's a government job.
Good pennies.
Yeah.
And my grandfather, who was my step-grandfather,
he's not my biological grandfather,
he, this on my mom's side,
he was a retired writer.
So he wrote, his eyesight got bad
and he sort of became a stay-at-home husband.
She went to the good, she became the breadwinner.
She went out and earned the money.
He stayed home and just sort of cooked and cleaned.
And then my dad's side, his parents were from Philly
and his mom was old, his dad died when he was young.
They didn't have any money.
So no, there was no-
Did you see your dad a lot growing up?
Yeah, we split in between my dad's place,
my mom's place, my dad got one bedroom apartment
just in North Hollywood, a couple miles away.
You guys are really into the one-bedrooms out there, huh?
Jesus.
Yeah, I know.
He was so-
I hope your house now has a thousand bedrooms,
just despite all the missing bedrooms.
I do have my present-wrapping room.
Good, good, you deserve it.
He didn't have any money when they broke up.
So he moved in and lived in like a large closet
in my grandparents' house because he didn't have money.
That was his, that was a woman-
And he moved into his shoe for a long time.
The woman he left, he moved into her parents' house
with them, essentially.
Okay.
And it was 40s.
Jesus.
So he didn't have money.
And then he saved some money and he got an apartment
and that's where, so then she had the-
One small house, he had the one small apartment
and just sort of go back and forth.
You go back and forth.
Yeah.
His place on the weekends?
It wasn't, you know, it's not like people were fighting
over us, you know.
It was, if there was a fight, it'd be like,
I've had him two days in a row.
Why can't you take him?
You know, why do I have to do another pot of lentil stew?
Get this goddamn can at him.
Yeah, there were just, we'd kind of catch his catch can.
Maybe, you know, I don't know.
Monday, Wednesday, Friday over at the thing
and they didn't need their weekends.
There wasn't, they weren't up to anything.
They weren't out partying or anything.
No, no.
And how were you in school?
Did you do good in school?
No, no, I didn't do well.
I didn't have, I didn't learn to read or write,
like, you know, early in whatever those formative years are.
What's early?
What are we talking about here?
Whenever you're supposed to, you know, whatever that is.
But did you learn to read?
No.
Oh, when?
Yeah.
Ostensibly when I got into show business.
Really?
Yeah.
What are you, sling blade?
What the fuck?
Holy shit.
Yeah, we had been for a try.
Now you wrote a fucking book and you're writing books.
Yeah, yeah.
That's fucking crazy.
Well, you know, I went, I missed out on
traditional school from zero to about the fifth grade
is when I entered like a conventional public school.
Is this because the mom was hippie-ish?
Yeah, my mom was hippie-ish.
And so it was kind of a hangback,
free to be you and me, kind of communal,
like went to school in the house.
I would have never pegged you for any of this.
Yeah, nothing.
Well, my dad was from Philly and, you know,
sort of straight, you know, normal or whatever.
My mom was kind of California hippie.
And so we ended up in this community school,
like, you know, someone's house in Silver Lake.
And we just threw dirtcloths and made stuff out of clay.
You know, we didn't, there was no learning.
There was no books.
There's no anything.
No curriculum, yeah.
Then at some point that just kind of all dried up
and I ended up just going across the street
to Colfax Elementary.
It was just a regular elementary school.
Your mom put you in school.
Yeah, she put me in the one I could walk to, you know.
And so I entered in the fifth grade
and I didn't know, I didn't know anything.
You know, I was like, crocodile Dundee walking through.
Man, I didn't know, I, I, I, I mean it.
Like the, you know, the bell would ring
and people would start moving.
I'd be like, is there a fire?
And they'd be like, no, that's the bell.
What's this?
Why can't we make stuff out of clay?
And then the kid, like, I remember a kid
just looking at me because the bell was ringing.
And I was just like looking around going,
what is the significance of this bell?
This means something.
I gotta figure it out.
And he started walking and he said,
you're going to be tardy.
And I said, what the fuck's tardy me?
I don't know what that word is.
No one uses tardy outside of school, right?
I've never heard tardy.
You could have said late.
Yeah, most normal, that kid was a fucking nerd.
I'll tell you that right now.
So I just kind of like showed up and I couldn't read or write
and I was just kind of, you know.
So I just kind of sat in the back of the class
and just kind of kept my head down, you know.
And that was it for me.
Like I just couldn't do any of the work.
I, you know, but I pretended to read, you know,
like if somebody, you know,
somebody showed me a funny note or something like that
and said, look at this.
I'd look at it for the amount of time I thought
a person would take to read it and then I'd go,
oh yeah, that's good.
That's a good one.
That's like lying about seeing a movie.
Yeah, that was a good one.
Yeah, I wish I needed glasses
because I would have broke them, jumped them in my pocket
and went, ah, sorry man.
But I just kind of faked my way, you know, through it.
That's amazing.
That's fucking why you couldn't read in fifth grade.
No, I couldn't read at well.
And that carried into sixth, seventh.
You know, it just kept going.
You don't stop at fifth.
It's not like, that guy was a racist in the fifth grade.
Like, no.
And he grew up.
Yeah.
He kept it going.
So what were the SATs like?
Did you take them?
No.
Yeah, no.
No, that would have been.
Did you graduate high school?
Yeah, I graduated on,
I found out the last day that I graduated.
I had to pass.
I failed biology and I failed private ed, though.
Yeah, you couldn't read.
What the fuck?
No, I know, it was a disaster.
But I, well, I actually, so,
the day before graduation,
I took, I got a D in my Spanish, you know, final
or whatever, just cheated off of somebody.
There you go.
And they let me participate,
but I never got my diploma
because I owed the book room money for a book.
The books, I had withheld in it, yeah.
Yeah, they're like, you're not kidding.
I can't even read it anyway, jerk off, keep it.
Until you pay, you know, it was like,
it was like $18.95 for We the People.
And I was like, no way.
Yeah, but you take a turkey leg.
No way.
I don't have 20 bucks laying around.
And I know I'm not gonna need this piece of paper,
this piece of parchment.
And I never did.
I, you know, I technically graduated.
I never got my diploma and I just walked
basically on the construction site and that was it.
Were you drinking in, what was the social life like in?
High school.
Was that hindered in high school and junior high?
Due to the.
I was, I was a jock and I was good at football,
I was good at baseball.
I talked to Dr. Drew said you were making fun of him.
I kind of, kind of had that going for me.
I wasn't really much of a partier.
I wasn't, you know, I wasn't a troublemaker.
I was just kind of kept my head down, played football.
Okay.
Like sports, sort of good at something.
I played linebacker and in guard as well
on the offensive side and I was good.
Like I got all bally and you know, some scholarships,
but I couldn't read.
So I was like, I could have maybe.
Even Alabama wouldn't take it.
I was not being recruited by Alabama.
I was, you know, UC Davis or Cal Poly Pomona places.
Holy shit.
That's wild man.
Marshall actually.
Really?
There you go.
But that was, you know, a short period of time
after the plane crash and the entire team was decimated.
They needed human beings.
We just got cleaned out.
Yeah, get that parola kid.
Yeah, that was probably, I didn't know it at the time,
but I was like, Marshall's a decent program.
What are they doing?
I've seen them in the news, I think.
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What was the first concert you went to?
I believe I saw the cars with a friend of mine
who had a car, so it was like he could buy the tickets.
He was like a greater two older than me.
He bought tickets and he had a car.
That's probably like in the 11th grade or something
and we saw the cars.
Not bad.
That's a fucking good one.
Anybody involved in a class action lawsuit growing up?
No, but it wasn't all the rage back then.
Now it's like, did you work in the shipbuilding industry?
Did your priestess left you?
It's probably all happening back now.
Now it's come out, yeah.
Yeah, now it's all coming out.
When I was sitting home, we weren't watching commercials
for class action lawsuits.
We're watching commercials for truck driving schools.
That's the way people who were losers got paid.
I had to learn to drive a truck, but I was 11, so I couldn't.
So no, no, no lawsuits.
Did anyone in your family ever represent themselves in court?
No, my dad, well, the only,
so I did have a little clarity on this,
which is my dad lived in the apartment.
He wasn't much of an earner.
He wasn't very good financially or anything,
as I've discussed.
But at some point, when I was maybe
in the eighth grade or seventh grade,
he bought a very small farmhouse, an A-frame house
in deep North Hollywood, where it starts getting
a little dicey, and he bought it for like $13,000.
Okay.
I was probably a little younger, I don't know, like 1975.
But it always bothered me
that he could even cobble together $2,000
for a down payment, and how did he even buy a house?
Cause he was financially, he didn't have a credit card.
He just kind of lived paycheck to paycheck.
He didn't have any savvy or anything that way.
And so way later, when I was like 40, I just said,
dad, you saving up the money, going to the bank,
filling out the paperwork, getting a loan,
you know, it just doesn't jive with like who you were.
Something works the real deal.
And he said, yeah, I was driving him my VW bus
and somebody, bug I should say at a VW bug,
someone rear ended him.
And the guy who was in the car with him was like,
I got a friend as a lawyer, you should call somebody.
My dad was like, I don't know why, you know,
and he's like, I gotta call the guy.
He ended up getting like three grand
from the insurance company or something.
Okay, I love it.
That's the down payment for the house.
And now it explains where he got a house, right?
So there was, you know, not an illustrious,
long legal career, but he got rear ended at some point.
I like how that's changed the trajectory
of your family, is your dad getting rear ended
and the guy knew a lawyer.
Yeah, that's great.
That's fantastic.
Striking oil.
Huh, hmm, that's how old were you when you got your passport?
Uh, 35 or something.
I mean, I remember, I never got a passport,
but maybe season three of the man show.
I gotta figure out how old I was,
but yeah, it's 35, 36.
It was like season three of the man show
and we were doing our end wrap around best of whatever's.
And it was announced that we're going to Jamaica.
Shoot these things.
And I was like, all right.
And then somebody said, you need a passport
and I didn't have passports.
So I went, I think I went and got one too,
so we could go to Jamaica.
I think mid 30s.
Okay.
That's fucking wild.
Have you been to a circus in the last 365 days?
No.
Have you had funnel cake?
No.
A corn dog or fried Oreos in the last 365?
No, but now I want a corn dog.
And I want to eat it at the circus.
When was the last time you had lobster?
Man, it's been a year, I would say.
I try to order it when other people are paying.
I don't feel when I'm paying.
That's a true dirt bag and I love it.
I love it.
I'll take the four pounder to go.
Did you guys celebrate Christmas growing up?
Did we what?
Celebrate Christmas?
Celebrate Christmas?
Kind of haphazard kind of way.
We'd go to my grandmother's house on New Year's Christmas Eve,
I should say.
She had a rubber tree and a potted plant,
and she would decorate this rubber tree.
Because buying a Christmas tree seemed pretty ostentatious.
No Christmas tree.
No, I mean, not for, my mom cut off a branch from a pine tree
and leaned it against the wall.
It sounds like it happened in the Depression.
It sounds like it's in black and white.
That is bad.
I think my dad, you could go to the parking lot of luckies
and get like a three footer for like eight bucks or something
maybe once, but not a traditional.
It wasn't a big thing to get the tree decorated.
No, we didn't get.
So I was smart in that or savvy or something.
I never had any money.
My family didn't have money.
They didn't give it away or anything.
But I still wanted stuff.
I like mechanical stuff.
I like stuff BMX bike parts and stuff like that.
I was always mechanical.
So at a certain point, I just said to everyone in the family,
I'm just going to collect around Christmas time.
And, you know, I'd get 10 bucks for my grandparents.
I get 20 bucks for my dad.
I get 10 bucks for my stepdad.
I just collect.
I just make the rounds, collect it.
Sure.
You know, put together 60, 70 bucks.
And then I'd celebrate by buying a forks for a BMX bike
or something like that.
That's how I would do it.
Crowdfunding fucking bike parts.
That's fucking, that's how I would do it, yeah.
That is fucking hardcore.
Are you currently in a beef with a neighbor?
Not since I moved to a kind of normal neighborhood.
But when I used to live in Hollywood in the Hollywood
Hills, there was kind of, there was many beefs with many neighbors.
I can imagine you ruffle, you know,
ruffle on some feathers out there.
I, so we sort of go about my, my business,
but there's a lot of crazy people in LA.
And I lived next to a lot of them.
Yeah, we dealt with that.
We stayed in an Airbnb in the Hollywood Hills
and we got in trouble.
We got kicked out in, yeah.
Really?
36 hours.
Something like that.
Yeah, they're dicks.
Yeah.
And I moved to La Crescent or La Cagnata
and people are normal there.
They're nice.
Okay.
Is your voicemail box full?
Currently.
Maybe.
Really?
Check it.
How many unread emails do you have?
8,000?
Wow.
I don't know.
16,000.
I don't know.
Give me a million out of it.
I don't even know what you have.
I don't even know what you have.
Whatever that amount, whatever that number is,
that's what I got.
What are your thoughts on Hawaiian pizza?
I like it.
You do.
I think I get a lot of shit.
Okay.
I get it.
I'm not defending it.
But it's good.
I'm just saying I like it.
Sure.
You know what I mean?
Like when you like.
People judge.
Well, first off, it's generally, I like thin crust,
but it's generally thin crust with Canadian bacon,
and then there's pineapple.
So basically you're just saying you don't like pineapple
or you don't like it on your pizza, but I like it.
But I think the best is get the Hawaiian style
and then get like a meatlovers or something
and then go one slice, then switch over to the meatlovers
and just get the olives or the mushrooms.
Just break it up.
So it's all not the same bite.
A little savory and sweet, right?
Will you do bite for bite?
Like they bite one and then bite the other
or eat one whole slice, then the other whole slice.
I'll take them both.
I'll roll them both up.
I'll shove one up my ass and I'll eat the other.
No, I'm not a maniac.
I don't want people to think I'm an insane eating disorder.
Are you a bite and sip guy?
Do you take a bite of something and take a sip?
Or do you, do you eat it and then drink after?
Um, I would say I'm a bite and sip guy,
but you know, I'm not wed to that cadence.
Okay, like sometimes I'll feel bold
and take two sips in a row and maybe only one bite.
And then another time I'll throw a curve ball,
freak out everyone at the table by taking two bites
and then one sip, you know?
Okay.
Unless someone notices and then they're like,
hey, bite sip, bite sip, brother.
You just did two sips.
What's up?
Ever been at Colonial Williamsburg?
No.
Ever owned a paintball gun?
No, not owned one, I've played it before.
Ever been to a Civil War reenactment?
No.
Interesting.
Ever written your name in wet cement?
No, I'm trying.
Yeah, well, I poured a slab in my garage,
built a big garage and I poured a slab
and I put my kids initials in there,
but that's about, oh, and I think I gave my handprint.
I think I told them to do the handprint.
That's good.
We got our pull done, we did that.
That's classy.
Play horseshoes?
I have, but not a big thing.
Can you play chess?
No, not at all, nothing close.
I can't play piano or chess or languages
or any of the stuff that smart people do.
At any point where you're really into hacky sack?
No.
Okay.
Do you own a metal detector?
No.
And magnet fishing?
No, but I'm intrigued.
Oh, I love those videos.
Magnet fishing?
Yeah.
Oh, it's great.
I've never.
You always wanted to pull up a bot,
like a gun or something.
They pull up guns and shit, man.
It's fucking dangerous.
Oh, I thought they're feeding fish,
you know, iron bait or something,
and then go, I was like, magnet fishing.
Oh, you're talking about fishing,
like fishing for compliments,
not an actual rod and reel.
I mean, a rod and a reel,
but getting shit off the bottom of the lake.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay.
Sounding, bottom mercury in those fish up there.
Yeah.
I'll tell you that.
Magnet fishing.
I'm not gonna pull them up.
Do you sneak snacks into the movie theater?
No.
Well, I have.
Sure.
I mean, yeah, for sure.
I mean, you're stealing turkey wings and yelpsons, yeah.
Yeah, when I was a kid, yeah, for sure.
But now, if you took the kids into movies.
No, no.
You buy the snacks there?
Yeah.
Okay.
You don't have a chain link fence around your house,
do you?
I do.
Chain link?
Yeah.
It's black.
Should I get a few points for having a color chain link
fence?
It's a little nicer.
It's a little green, but they're black, you know?
It's a, but the house is nice.
It's just, the property's big and it runs along
like a common trail or something.
Gotcha.
Okay.
All right.
All right.
I'd go dog-eared redwood if I had a chance
to do it all over again.
Okay.
Very nice.
I don't even know what that is, but it sounds fancy.
It's a nice fence.
One by, you know, six footer, cedar, whatever fence.
Yeah.
It's just dog-eared at the top.
Yeah.
Right, right, right.
Usually a German shepherd on the other side of it,
fucking ready to rip you apart.
Do you have any pets now?
Yeah.
What do you got?
I have a bald eagle.
What's his name?
He's with me.
Sam.
Where is it?
Oh, shit, he got out.
God damn it.
Dude, I thought you were serious for a second.
This guy's nuts.
He has a goddamn patriot.
I don't know.
I was in Alaska with my son a year ago
and there were bald eagles constantly circling overhead
and I said to my son,
if you get shit on by a bald eagle,
you'll be the next president of the United States.
I'm extreme mad, baby.
I wasn't kidding.
Yeah.
Look it up.
I have a 110-pound black lab named Phil.
It's just a big, big lab.
Okay.
Love that.
All right.
Not bad.
What kind of car you got?
What are you whipping around in?
I would assume a couple.
Well, I have a lot of vintage race cars.
Nice.
And I do a lot of a fair bit of vintage racing.
So I have Paul Newman race cars.
Whoa.
I love his iced tea.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I just drive around like a Lincoln navigator, just nothing.
Okay.
Nothing.
Classy understated but nice.
Classy, comfortable.
It's who we like to hear.
Comfortable.
Yeah.
That's pretty good.
Ever been to a wedding that served breakfast food?
Well, I went to Jimmy's wedding
and he had a really good buffet for breakfast
the next morning.
The next morning.
Okay.
They had bacon in the Bloody Mary's.
Ooh.
That's a good place to touch.
Very nice.
That's a Jimmy.
All right.
What's your go-to drink if you're having a beverage
or if you're out to dinner?
I can, you know, I went out last night
or sitting with the guy who wrote the book
with Mike Lynch last night
and I was all fixin' to get myself a martini
and then he ordered an old-fashioned
and I was like, that looks good.
Okay.
So, you know.
You'll play the field a little.
Yeah, so I don't know if that makes me an alcoholic
but I'm sort of like, I'm a serial killer
who will just prey on anyone, you know.
It's not.
No real MO.
I'm like, oh, I've limited myself to teenage prostitutes.
Like, why shrink your pool?
I get it.
I could have, like, a glass of Pino.
I could have an IPA.
I could have a martini or an old, like,
I'm like, oh, it looks good.
Do you have a wine cellar at the house
or like an area where you keep wine?
No.
I mean, other than my belly.
I had a wine cellar in the house, I mean,
but there was no bathroom on the first floor
or the ground floor,
so I blew it out and built a bathroom.
Okay.
In it, so I don't know what that says.
I mean, I feel like it's more practical.
Sure, to have a working bathroom.
Well, you can keep a bottle of wine anywhere,
but you can't exactly shit in the entry hall.
You know what I mean?
You have to think of it that way.
I assume you have a garage at the house.
Yes. Right?
Is there a refrigerator in that garage?
Yes.
What do you keep in there?
It's not really for me.
It's like kind of overflow for the house.
Okay.
It's not like, oh, I got the venison
next to the lucky lager.
It's not one of those.
I have a shop that has cars and booze
and good stuff in the fridge,
and it's kind of, that's a little more of the fridge
you're talking about.
On a separate property?
Yes.
Damn, that's pretty sweet.
Yeah.
A couple of bucks on this guy.
Yeah.
Not too shabby.
That's a goddamn legend.
Respect them.
Of course, you've got another garage on another property.
Kev, let's talk about Dave.
Dave?
Yeah, not the bozo lives next door to you.
No.
Talking about when you're in a pinch,
who do you go out to?
Dave's got your back, dog.
Dave's got your back.
Gang, listen, we've all had financial problems.
Oh, yeah.
Currently in one right now.
I'm tanking over here.
But we can all use a little help.
Say the check's not coming till Friday,
but you got the hot date.
You're going out with the boys.
You don't want to look like an idiot.
You got a wedding or something.
Hey, can't go, you gave me money.
Well, now you do.
You can reach out to Dave.
We'll straighten you out for a couple of days.
Dave will break you off, dude.
Sweet baby.
There you go.
Dave is a banking app that can help you get up
to $500 instantly with extra cash.
That's more money to fill your bank.
You can buy that wedding gift.
You can catch up on bills.
You can go out boozing.
That's what I would do.
You can finally tackle those expenses
that have been stressing you out without any hangups.
There's no interest and no credit check needed.
That's Dave, baby.
That's Dave.
That's Dave, don't ask no questions.
Dave's all right.
There's millions of people have already downloaded
the Dave app and get financial relief
when they need extra cash.
So if you're in a pinch and need some extra help,
download Dave and think of it as helping hand,
helping hand from Future You.
There you go.
This is it, baby.
Download the Dave app from the app store right now.
That's DAVE.
Sign up for an extra cash account
and get up to $500 instantly.
Watch it, watch it.
For terms and conditions, go to dave.com slash legal.
Instant transfer fees apply.
Banking provided by Evolve member FDIC.
Future you will thank you.
Dave.
Do it.
Can't but talk about movement.
Movement, baby.
Let's talk about a couple of guys
in the Southern California apartment
that decided to turn the watch business upside down.
Two college dropouts at DAVE.
Shout out to the dropouts.
Shout out to the boys.
They're changing the world.
Doing it.
And gang, sunglasses, blue blocker glasses,
everything you need, this company has it all.
And they have it at a fraction of the price.
You wear a cool watch that looks like a $4,500 watch
for a fraction of the cost.
What are we doing?
You better believe it.
That's how they grow into one of the fastest growing watch
brands shipping to over 160 countries across the globe.
I even know there was 160 countries.
Yeah, those shit.
I've only been to about four or five of them, Martin.
Not a big man has said, movement has expanded
into blue light glasses that protect your eyes
from your screens.
They have minimalistic jewelry and styles
essential that won't break the bank all designed
out of the California headquarters, baby.
Shout out to the good old Cali.
The blue light glasses, they send it to me.
My lady uses them when she's working the 95.
On a computer all day, helps hurts the eyes.
You make it sleep better.
Eye strain a whole nine yards.
They got your back.
Got your back.
So if you want to elevate your look with your style
that doesn't break the bank, then join movement MVMT
and get 50% off today with free shipping and free returns
by going to MVMT.com slash garbage.
One more time, get a pen, get a pencil,
pull out your phone, upload a browser.
Do it MVMT.com slash garbage.
Now back to the show.
That's what I fucking like to hear.
Let me ask you this.
So you went to Jimmy's wedding.
Can I ask you what you put in the envelope?
Or how do you guys work that out?
Jesus Christ.
I do not recall.
I'm not good at that kind of stuff.
I'm not that cheap, but I'm also not very thoughtful.
So it kind of, it balances out, you know.
I would have got you something really nice
for your birthday had I remembered.
So I'm kind of back to even.
Jimmy, and then Jimmy I've always been pretty generous with
because he's done so much for me.
You really kind of launched my career
and so you could certainly justify given that guy
something pretty nice.
That being said, I have no fucking idea.
I can't remember if they registered somewhere.
Jimmy is probably like give to this charity
or something is one of those assholes.
What was the last time you had a massage?
Not that long ago, but it was a Thai massage.
I don't know if that makes it any better.
Wasn't that relaxing?
Someone's walking on it.
Someone's beating the shit out of you.
Yeah.
Will you get a manicure and a pedicure?
I have never considered it until recently.
And I have had one, but I probably made it to my 55th birthday
before participating.
Okay.
Have you ever been on a tour of a brewery or a factory
like the Pepsi factory in Atlanta?
The Pepsi factories in Atlanta?
I believe so.
Coca-Cola's in Atlanta.
That's the one.
Yeah, Coca-Cola's in Atlanta.
There's a Pepsi one in Philadelphia.
No way to do your research.
That's it, you're fired.
I'm sorry about that.
I have been on a tour of the Coors brewery.
That's pretty sweet.
Golden, I mean, to give it some context, I guess.
I didn't go to Golden Colorado to tour the factory.
I was doing a show.
You do shows all over the place.
You got your Saturday free.
You roll into your two shows on Friday.
You got all Saturday around.
There's some guy who works there.
He's a friend.
He's a fan of the pod.
I can hook you up.
Next thing you know, you're going down there in noon.
It's cool.
Had a good time.
Had a young blonde gal who was giving us a private tour.
And I said to her,
so what's the deal with the smoking the bandit?
Like, why couldn't they have Coors and Texar cannons?
She's like, what?
I'm like, smoking the bandit.
She's like, I don't know what that movie is.
I'm like, do you don't know what smoking the bandit?
He had an 18-wheeler full of Coors.
That was the entire movie.
She's like, I've never.
So I was angry, obviously.
Immediately ruins the tour for him.
It did.
She didn't know who fucking smoking the bandit was.
So that was ruined.
I think it was 22.
You told me you never saw Cannonball Run.
What the fuck are we doing here?
And then I went to the, I went to the coca.
I took, I was doing a,
was doing a car race and it rode Atlanta
and had an afternoon to kill.
Trying to think what happened.
We were rode Atlanta.
Maybe it started raining or something.
We went back and then we took the coca-cola tour.
So I have taken,
I went to the Larry's Seasoning Salt Plant tour
in Eagle Rock, California.
I don't think that's a thing.
I think you broke into the factory.
Got into that.
I was like in the fifth grade.
We took a tour.
I thought you went recently.
You were like, I had a show and, you know, holy shit.
That's what you were doing in fifth grade.
That's fucking wild.
Have you ever left a bad Yelp review?
No.
Okay.
You ever win anything on the radio?
Tickets or anything like that?
No, I had, I mean, I used to work in radio.
I've been there when they've, you know,
given away mountain bikes and stuff like that.
I don't know why, but it reminds me
of something that's funny.
Jimmy, me and Jimmy, we were at the morning show
at K Rock for a while in Los Angeles.
And Jimmy was on the radio talking smack
about one of the guys.
Name was Boogerman.
And he was talking about-
Yeah, Boogerman.
He was talking smack about Boogerman.
And Boogerman heard it and he came in to the radio station.
I guess he had a key card or something.
And he, Jimmy and I were in like the producer's office
or whatever, just the two of us.
And he started to choke Jimmy, like, right?
He physically-
He saw, he was a crazy guy.
He was like a homeless guy and he got onto the radio,
but he was nuts.
And so he was like physically choking Jimmy in the office.
And I was just close to getting up.
But I just figured I'd just let him settle it, you know?
And it got, you know, broken up and whatever.
And he never got fired.
But he didn't get fired for trying to choke a coworker,
but Boogerman got fired for giving away a mountain bike
to his friend because he'd done the, you know,
Caller 107 is gonna get the mountain bike
and he had his friend call in and rigged it
and gave him the mountain bike.
And when they found out about that,
that's when they put the foot down.
They were always real sticklers about that.
No friends or family can fucking participate in the contest.
I never, I never called,
I never called, I never won anything on a radio station.
All right.
Do you ever fly first class?
If someone is paying, you know, like God,
like back in the day, if you do Letterman or something
like that, you get the full first class treatment.
Usually if I'm paying, no, but sometimes.
And then other times there's, you know, the price, you know,
I've just always go like, how much does the coach fly?
They go 400 bucks.
I go like, how much is first class?
I go 575, I go, I'm in, I'll do it.
But then you get there and you realize it's the same thing.
You get some wheat thins and everything else is the same.
Yeah.
But then there's, there are times.
I don't know if they still do this domestically,
but like first class was like four grand
and coach was like 389 or something.
I would never buy it on that.
You would never bump up with that.
Not a five is paying.
Okay. All right.
I respect that.
You take your shoes off on a plane?
Yes, usually.
Bring food on there?
No, but I will kick my shoes off
and then go into the bathroom in my socks.
What's that do for your scoring system?
That's not good.
You just broke it, I think.
I broke the scoring system.
You were a neck pillow?
I do not travel with one, but I have 27 of them.
They just somehow forget to bring them every time.
Do you and the family get away now?
What do you guys do for vacations now?
Where would you go?
Well, now we're getting divorced.
So it's a permanent vacation.
And that should give me a couple points, right?
But we would go, we've been to Hawaii a few times.
Okay.
You know, brought the kids, you know,
the kind of the kids thing.
Sure.
How old are the kids now if you don't mind me asking?
16, twins.
Okay.
So nothing, you know, nothing major,
but we would probably,
probably got out to Hawaii with them like three times
or something like that.
Gotcha. Good.
Since you brought, are you moving out of the house?
Are you guys going to get rid of that house?
We will sell it eventually, but not yet.
Nice. All right.
Interesting.
Do you wear any cologne?
Not per se.
I have cologne.
I rarely don it,
but sometimes if I don't shower for a few days
or something like that,
I'll just give it a shot before I leave the house.
What's the deodorant that you're using?
I'll use whatever basically,
but I like toms of Maine and I like the baby powder.
That's good.
I don't like the stuff that smells,
you know, that's like sport, ultra red, guard,
you know, whatever.
I don't like the stuff.
I think real alcohol based.
That smells like deodorant.
Gotcha.
Cause when you get a whiff of a guy's deodorant,
you're still getting a, you know.
Sure.
So it's basically,
if you ever walk into a bathroom that somebody shit up
and it smells of pine and shit,
it's kind of worse than just shit.
It's like, you know what happened in there.
And I feel the same way about the deodorant.
When you get the deodorant that smells like deodorant,
you get a whiff of it.
You're just getting a whiff of that dude's pitch.
Sure.
And it smells altered.
So you go with something like the baby, like.
Yeah.
I'm not like a talcum baby powder kind of guy.
Or nothing really.
What about soap?
What are you using?
You using body wash?
Using a bar?
No, I'm not a soap guy.
I'm not a soap or shampoo dude.
So you just rinse off.
Yeah.
Basically.
You're fucking with us.
No, that's, that's my thing.
I don't do it.
No, it's not.
You don't use any soap in the shower.
Rarely.
That's insane.
What?
Yeah.
I have water.
It's not good for you.
I'm telling you.
Probably not.
Yeah.
Go look at the studies.
That's why everyone's allergic to everything.
Holy shit.
I don't have.
It's probably got a point.
I'm the only person I know that has no acid reflux
no allergies, never taken my lant,
my lanta, never taken a Tums, never had heartburn,
has no food-borne allergies, can eat.
I did that show Hot Ones.
I got up to the Scoville scale of like 35 million.
I left the place.
People are like, how do you feel?
And I'm like, feel exactly as I felt when I walked in.
And they're like, oh, but the next morning
on the toilet, man, you're gonna pay the price.
I couldn't even tell that I, what I've eaten or done.
I can eat any shellfish.
I can eat any, I can eat stuff that's rotted.
I can eat stuff that, if I got cottage cheese
and it's got green hair on it,
I'll just spoon it off, throw it and I'll eat that.
You think this all comes down to not using Irish spring?
That's what you think this is going to be?
All roads.
I need to see the science on this.
Well, I will look.
I gotta say-
I know that it does call,
it is linked to all that shit of course.
I wanna say in my defense,
I was never a funky smelling guy, never had that.
Some guys have it.
Some guys don't, it's just like the floor and the fauna.
Some guys just have that funk.
So there's certain things and I never had that.
I was never like funky BO guy.
Okay.
And so also, we didn't have a lot of money
and a lot of stuff.
And also I was just never into personal hygiene
or taking care of myself or anything like that.
So I just like, I've just like rinse off.
If I go in the swimming pool, that counts as a bath to me.
I'll just get up, dry off, go.
Get up in the morning.
I take a breeze and cold shower for like 40 seconds
and then I'm good.
You're good to go.
Yeah.
What about brushing your teeth?
What's that?
Do you brush your teeth?
I don't know.
Yeah, I do, I brush my teeth.
Yeah.
Crest, Colgate, what do you use?
What's the brand we're talking?
I like, I like Tom's again.
Okay.
Cause I just like-
I see where you're going.
I don't want the one with the flavor strips
or the orange, you know, line of goo running through it.
I don't like the-
Yeah, the sparkles or something.
I'm not a sunny D guy, like orange juice.
You know, I don't like the synthesized part of life.
Okay.
I just went plain, spearmint, white.
Right up the middle.
Done, you know?
That's almost kind of classy.
I know.
In like a weird way.
He's like, I don't shower, but when I do,
it's soap, so he's crazy.
Yeah.
Do you know how to tie a tie?
No.
No, I've never, if I do a tie,
now the wardrobe person has to do the tie.
And then they always do it.
The wardrobe chicks are always like five, three.
And then they go, I'll do it,
but they have to do it on them.
On themselves, yeah.
And then they do it.
And as they're doing it, I go,
you're going to make it too short
because you're foot shorter than me.
And they go, no, I got it.
And then they do it.
And then they put it around my collar
and then they cinch it up.
And I look like, you know,
Laurel and Hardy or one of the Bowery boys
is going to a funeral.
And it's like, it's up there.
And I'm like, it's too short.
And they go, oh yeah, I got to make it longer or redo it.
And it's like, yeah, that's what I was saying
when you're doing it.
I had, the only job I ever had with a tie
was I taught comedy traffic school for a little while
in like, you know, 89, 90 or something like that.
And that required a tie.
And I didn't, I had a girlfriend and I had one tie
and she just made this tie.
That's what I did for a long time.
Un cinched it, hooked it on the.
The doorknob or something.
On the doorknob and then next weekend
just pull it over, bring it up again.
But no, I do not know how to make a tie.
What's comedy traffic school?
People get a ticket and they can go to traffic school
back in the day, like eight hour class.
And you get the points reduced.
Even in the beginning, not even pay for your citation.
So I would do, if I got a ticket, I'd go to traffic school
because it was cheaper than the citation, you know.
And, but get the points off.
And then at some point they're like, you know,
it's eight hours, it's super boring.
So what if we did comedy traffic school?
Or they did like pizza traffic school.
And so instead of like 18 bucks at Sears traffic school,
they charge 23 bucks and I would teach the class.
And, you know, the eight hours feel like six and a half.
That's pretty wild.
Do you know your Uber rating?
No, I can't use Uber.
I don't know how to use it.
Okay.
How's the credit score?
I don't know what it is.
It's not as high as it should be considering
what I've done financially.
Right?
You'd be kind of surprised.
Yeah.
You could go like, I bought 10 properties
for $25 million sold, bought, bought,
sold, paid millions in taxes and some fucking school teacher
and our leader has a higher score than me
because she pays her credit card
all at the front of each month or whatever.
It's not, it kind of punishes the righteous
if you think about it.
Sure.
Ours are very bad as well.
It's good enough, but I don't know exactly what it is.
I'm 615, so it'll feel bad.
699.
Oh.
From 520, like a year ago, so I'm doing pretty good.
What's the top?
Is it like eight or something?
850, I think.
I could be, you know, low sevens, high sixes or whatever.
It's respectable.
I like it.
You're in the meaty part of the curve.
That's all that matters.
What cards do you use?
You have an American Express card?
Got a black one.
Really?
Oh, yeah.
That's the best.
The metal one?
Yeah.
Holy shit.
So you could technically buy a house.
And stop a bullet.
I carry it in my press pocket.
It's over my heart at all times.
I don't put it in my wallet.
No, no.
I don't mind getting shot in the ass.
But if you wanted to, you could walk over
the Mercedes-Benz dealership on the west side
and just buy a car and be at the door with that.
Boom.
I don't know.
Yes, theoretically.
I don't know what the limit is, but yeah.
Jimmy got it for me like in like 1999 or something.
That's when they started boom.
Back when you could get them.
The myth is that Seinfeld got it invented.
He said there should be a card where you can just
go spend whatever and then they did it.
And started giving them out to certain people.
It's not, but I've tried it at like 700 airport lounges
and they just go.
They still can't get in.
Yeah, you're not Seinfeld.
You're not Jerry.
Yeah, but yeah, I don't know.
I mean, I don't know.
Someone Google it.
I don't know if there is.
I don't know what the limit is.
Yeah, I think it's limitless to an extent.
I mean, I got all I need here.
What are you sleeping?
Oh, in or on?
In.
Is it go naked or underpants?
Okay.
Or sometimes gym shorts.
No socks?
Sometimes I'll start with socks, kick them off.
My feet get warm.
Kick them off with your feet and leave them in the bed?
No, I have a valet.
He's a nice guy.
He'll be summoned at some point in the night.
You're rigging the bell.
Gerritulfo, remove my ankle socks, please.
Holy shit.
What else you got?
You ever seen a crash at an air show?
No, I haven't been to a lot of air shows,
but if anyone ever pops up online, I'm in.
Any tattoos?
No.
You on a fish tank?
No, no.
Ever use a phlobe?
No, but I can't.
My style of hair won't gel with one of those.
Do you have a Swiffer?
Yeah.
Do you own any fireworks?
Any fireworks at your house right now?
Probably, probably feel around.
How do you feel about seafood salad?
Like the fake crab meat?
No, not a seafood salad.
Do you ever use the squeegee at a gas station
to clean anything else but the windshield?
Oh, that's a very good question.
Yeah, I've probably given a couple of like French whore bass
to the hood of the car with those things.
Clean under the pits, you know.
No, I've washed the car.
Like, you know, when you have X amount of time,
you just kind of keep going with it.
Yeah, you know, to be fair, like spotting seagull shit
or something, you know, on the hood or something like that,
but not a full wash.
I didn't detail it, yeah.
Yeah, I mean, 100% garbage.
But I love it.
Yeah, I fucking absolutely love it.
The shower thing that fucking blows my mind.
I mean, you certainly don't smell at all.
You look clean.
Well, the day is young.
We can go out and eat some Cuban food and cuddle afterwards
and see how we feel about that.
I mean, steel in the turkey leg, yeah, it's all.
It's all checking it.
Did that be able to read till fifth grade?
And what do you think you're an author?
It's crazy.
Yeah, I know it's been an interesting journey, you know.
What can I say?
It's crazy.
Gang, the brand new book that's out right now
by Mr. Adam Corolla is everything reminds me
of something, advice, answers, but no apologies.
You can get it at adamcorolla.com.
Adam, thank you so much for coming and sitting with us.
Anything you want the folks out there to know
other than what we said?
No, go to Adam Corolla.
I'll do live shows.
There'll be live dates up there too.
Fantastic, buddy.
We really appreciate it.
Kip, what do you got for him?
I'll check out our live shows.
We added new dates.
Thanks for the support.
We love yous.
Yeah, we love you.
We'll see you next week.
Peace.