Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Adrienne Iapalucci: The Dark Queen

Episode Date: November 14, 2024

Kippy & Foley are joined by The Dark Queen, Adrienne Iapalucci! We got Family Beefs, Bronx horror stories, creep crawly bugs and of course it' all TRASH! You know Adrienne Iapalucci from stand up comedy, Kill Tony, the Joe Rogan Experience, Your Mom's House, You Be Trippin' with Ari Shaffir, KFC Radio, The Virzi Effect and so much more! Check out "Dark Queen" OUT NOW! Thanks for watching the Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast! AYG & Friends 11/8: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Uncommon Goods: https://uncommongoods.com/ayg Promo Code: AYG Sheath: https://www.sheathunderwear.com/ Promo Code: Garbage Chubbies: https://www.chubbiesshorts.com/garbage20 Promo Code: Garbage20 Mint Mobile: https://www.MintMobile.com/GARBAGE Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage? Oh yeah. It's that little show we sit there with your favorite comedians and we back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is are you garbage? Oh, yeah, so a little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we found it out to be classy After just a big old piece of trash garbage. I'm your host stage fully coming at you on a beautiful day We're out back here at Tootie's in a new edition. She's upstairs in her room doing some beats

The beat laboratory. Okay, don't know freestyling up there. Sounds good. I'm not gonna lie All right talking some shit about you. I'll tell you that this track coming my co-host is coming at you from right next to me He is the CEO of are you garbage? He is an international businessman and my best pal in the whole wide world give it up for KJ Kevin James Ryan everybody What up everybody? Thanks for tuning in as always Please make sure you review subscribe on iTunes and. And then obviously a full video available on YouTube and then the greatest website of all time. You pull out your little desktop, your little laptop, whatever you got, you go to www.patreon.com slash RU Garbage. You get all that bonus content, gang. Thank you, Kevin. And gang, we couldn't be more excited to have her, incredibly,

and I mean incredibly special guest here with us today for the first time. She is a very funny, very successful stand-up comedian, and you might have seen her on, you got The Late Show, Last Comic Standing, This Week at the Comedy Cellar, The Degenerates, Gotham Comedy Live, The Joe Rogan Experience, and she has a brand new special out on Netflix right now, produced by Mr. Ari Shaffir, directed by Mr. Louis C.K., given up for the one, the only, Adrienne Appalucci, everybody.

The Dark Queen. Thank you. Love that title, by the way. That's great. That's Ari. That's so descriptive of you. It's very descriptive. One of the purest standups working today.

You are a standup comedian through and through, my friend. I will, yeah, I could totally derail a whole show. If that's what you mean. I can walk through three people. I can upset a room, yeah. If that's what you mean. I can walk through three people. I can upset a room, yeah, if that's what you mean. How many people do you think you walked over your career? I don't know.

In the hundreds, in the thousands? I know. I don't think that many. But maybe on the last tour, about 50 altogether. That's not bad. That's not bad. No, but most of them were in this one show in Texas. It was like 20 guys in cowboy hats that liked you like I could see not liking you and your point of view

Yeah, ladies got a foul-mouth owner They've really hung in a long time and I was like you guys are here longer than I thought And they're just like we're out. You brought up the military and they're like we're Thank you for your time little lady That's where I'm gonna to call it quits. Throw a quarter on the table and walk out. You are, because you have a very specific, unique point of view and joke writing style. And it's very dark queen-ish.

And you don't waver. You're okay with not, with going, hey, you guys aren't for me, I'm not for you. I'll see you next time I'm yeah I don't know it's probably not good no I think it's fantastic yes artistic integrity we love it no there's got to be a part of me that's just dead well hey I didn't say that wasn't yeah that's what we're here for let's get into it give us the backstory give us the origin story it's somewhat of a sordid tale you're're a New York gal. Uh-huh. Bronx. I lived in the Bronx my whole life.

And I think. And that's all the time we have today. And you still live in the Bronx. I still live in the Bronx. That's wild. I think if you live in New York, you're not supposed to live in New York the whole time. Sure, you got to hear that.

You're not supposed to live in the Bronx the whole time. You're not supposed to live in any of New York City the whole time. Everyone in the Bronx is just mad. Sure. That they're there. Sure. It's just chaotic.

There's a different vibe. I've always said that, like, I used to have to commute to the Bronx every day to get to work, and there is just a different vibe in the Bronx. It's different than New York. It's different than the rest of New York. Sure, listen, I'm also not in the South Bronx.

I'm in the regular part of the Bronx. Oh, sorry. What's crazy about the Bronx, if you don't know, there's like the regular part of the Bronx. Oh, I'm sorry. She is the queen, by the way. What's crazy about the Bronx, if you don't know, there's the city part of it, but then there's also this beautiful... It's huge. Suburbish. No, but beautiful nature. The Bronx Botanical Gardens are gorgeous.

Yes, but once you leave that gated area... Sure. You're in the Bronx. In the Bronx, we actually gate the the flowers because that's what we treasure And then we let the people kill each. Yeah sure. Let's go to protect these flowers. Let's protect the flat They're the prize possession. We need our pull ups. Yeah, so where did you grow up in the Bronx? Brothers sisters mom's dad's give us give us a story. So I grew up in Morris Park. I lived there most of my life I live in Pelham Bay now, which is like ten minutes away. And you were born in an apartment. This is apartment living. This is apartment living.

OK. This is like four people in a tiny apartment. Is this a big apartment building or more of like a house? This is like my biological father wasn't in my life. That's what we're looking for. Yeah. That's what we're looking for. I mean, but my dad that adopts me was like good to me. But like, you know, a gambler, emotionally unavailable.

And that's probably why I'm chasing guys like my dad. How did this how did this come out? How did you do? How did this shake out? So your mom and dad are how old when they get pregnant with you? And you have a you have a sister, right? I do have a sister. She's younger than you. She's younger. So you're first? I'm first. Right.

Hey, well you put that together. She's second, I think? She's second. And they say mom and dad? No. Oh. So my mom and dad, my mom and biological father had me. He was like a drug addict.

Okay. And then. How old is your mom when she has you? Young, like in her early 20s. Okay. 22, 21. Did they get married? They did get married. Okay

before or after you were born I Don't know I honestly don't know but I think I think I don't know. I don't I really don't know. Okay So yeah, they get married. He's like a methadone addict. She leaves him methadone Methadone methadone, whatever. Yeah, okay, so he's trying to get off heroin really splitting hairs hairs I gotta be honest I don't know if he ever did heroin I think he's addicted to that stuff I think he just got it's like going right to Nicorette yeah I think he was just addicted to the stuff you get off on yeah I mean it must be pretty good they can yeah, but like so he was like He was like a cab driver I guess but like he was holding the welfare track my mom's brother was a Hell's Angel

He had to have someone go there and threaten him to give him the money It was like just trash from the beginning right that your mom's brother's a Hell's Angel. He was he's mega dead Super dead mega. He's mega dead natural causes Megadad He's megadad natural causes I mean like I feel like I feel like if you get stabbed you naturally die I don't know. I think it was not like natural. His heart did stop. Yeah. Yeah, okay I googled him and I should not have really. Yeah, okay. No one googled What's your what's your mom's lineage?

What's your nationality, by the way? So I'm mostly Italian and, I guess, Hungarian, too. My mom's mother was Jewish. OK. So your mom was Italian mixed. Yes. And your dad was fully Italian. Well, my biological father was, I think, mostly

Italian and German and Irish. But I don't claim that part. I just say Italian and Hungarian. Of course. And also just Puerto Rican, just from being in the Bronx. That's so funny you say that, because you dress kind of Puerto Rican. I mean, you got the hoops, the track jacket.

But my cousins in Philly did the same thing. There was a time in the 90s where all my Irish cousins dressed Puerto Rican over there. Yeah, I'm going to the big hoops. I'm going back to it. I just got a men's car, hard jacket. Yeah, me too. Like I love it. Dressed acidic. Just rolling around. Yeah.

What was what was your mom's growing up? Was it lower, lower? Definitely my mom grew up were like poor. My dad, my grandpa. They all from the Bronx. They're all from the Bronx. Yeah It's crazy to have like all white people like born in the Bronx When like immigrants come here and make their life better and they were like this is good enough Yeah, that's wild to me to just settle like everybody moves in the Bronx gets their shit together that moves out

Yeah, they're like we this is it The height of luxury I like it alright All right, so they they get together They have you how long is your dad in the house? Is it this apart the apartment that you were that you grew up in the only my biological father? I think they were together like six months and that was this you don't really remember that. I don't remember I need to ever meet him. I did like six or 2017 so that's seven years ago. That was the first time you met him that's the first time I met him as an adult and then his

So he has a bunch of half He has a bunch of kids that would be like my half siblings Uh-huh, and he also married somebody that had two kids and that girl has been jealous of me her whole life because I'm So I so I said to him that's such such a trashy thing. It's so gross. But you don't see him growing up at all. No, not. And he lived like 10 minutes from that. You are easy man.

My whole life. So I meet him and I was like, oh, I would like to like get to know these kids. I don't want you initiate this or to see initiate this. It's like we kind of did that thing when you're like almost dating in a way where you come to someone and they're like, I'm not ready. And then you go back, it was like that my whole life. And then his daughter that he adopted was getting married and he's like, well, I can't do this now

cause she's, she'll lose her shit. She's like 50 and she's still jealous of me. And what's crazy is so like, it's so dirt bag. And then his, so my biological father, I meet him, we meet up a second time and he's like nervous. He's like, I don't know if anyone knows I'm here. He's like- Is he all cleaned up now? Yes.

Okay. He's all cleaned up. Doing well. Doing well, yeah. I mean, as well as whatever, yeah. He's doing fine. Gotcha. Bronxwell.

Bronxwell, yeah, he lives somewhere upstate I think now. So I meet him and he's like nervous. And he's like, I don't know how long I can stay. I don't know if anyone knows I'm here. I hope my wife doesn't change the locks. I'm like, change the locks? I'm like, we're not fucking. This is the weirdest reaction to like.

You're my dad, right? Yeah, so then. Where was that meeting? Definitely a parking lot. In the Bronx. I mean, we were in a diner near a parking lot, so yeah. So did you get something to eat? Did you guys order?

I don't think I did. That'd be weird. Got a frittata in front of you, you walk in. Yeah, what are you gonna order that can pay for like 40 years of fucking. Of abandonment? Of abandonment, yeah. So he's like, I don't know, I want you to be able to.

Who picked up that check though? You did. Okay. Yeah, I'm not paying. A gentleman. Yeah, a nice guy. You split it? He's a nice guy.

He's like, listen, yo, $18.50 for the Western omelet. I's a nice guy. He's like, listen, you know, 1850 for the Western Omelette. I'll get the tip. So his wife writes me like an eight page letter on why I can't. At this age, is this 2017? 2017. She writes me like an eight page handwritten letter where she's like, stay away from my Joey. It's like very Mary Jo Botafuco. It's very, it's very weird where she's like. The first time Bot Joey. It's like very, Mary Jo Butterfucko. It's very weird where she's like. That's the first time Butterfucko's been quoted

on this program. And I can't believe that, because they are the trashiest of people. And how is this delivered to you? It's mailed to me. Mailed to you, from the Bronx to the Bronx. I think they're upstayed at this point. Yeah, she could have just like drove it down.

Sure, okay. But she's like, stay away from my Joey. She's like, you're an attractive girl, why don't you get like a boyfriend? It's like, I'm trying to just like, drove it down. Sure, okay. But she's like, stay away from my Joey. You know, she's like, you're an attractive girl, why don't you get like a boyfriend? It's like, I'm not sure. What the fuck? It's so crazy, the letter where I'm like, I read it, I'm like, this is wild. Are you bouncing this off your mom? Because I've had this in my family

over lots of years of bad relationships, and there's always letters. After a certain amount of years, things become letters, and you gotta bounce it off your mom, and go, what do you think of it? Are you doing that? I mean, my you know, I told my mom about it. What is she going to do?

She already felt like mixed about me meeting him. She doesn't know what he's going to say about my mom. You know what I mean? Because like Ben, he was like very like nice about my mom. I think honestly, he probably still loves my mother and his wife should know that. Is like your mom's so beautiful He's like your mom so beautiful and you look just like her I know you can't stop top stop meeting this guy something's good. Whatever. He's telling his wife

What's me right? What is not attractive was? As I see why you're jealous of me Was the letter handwritten handwritten? Yes. How was the penmanship trash? Yeah, it was all it was all newspaper. There was sauce all over it. OK, Jesus Christ. So I never so like, yeah, me and him don't talk. OK, so he's out of the picture.

Your mom meets another guy. What's your mom doing for a living for work at this time when you're a young kid? Okay, so my mom does for work is she marry somebody. And that is her job is to get married and be married and have someone support us. Okay, she's good work. If you can get it. She doesn't have many skills. And she's just man you are an open book man. It doesn't matter sure Like I people don't have computers. I'm so close to killing myself every week. It doesn't matter

There's how long is your mom and your stepdad your sister's father married They're married so he died when I was like 22 I think and he had brain cancer and died so and then she right away like he died when I was like 22, I think. And he had brain cancer and died. So and then she right away, like she and my mom was like 45 when he died. So my mom was still pretty hot. Yes. Oh, yeah. OK. And then she roped another guy in. Well, this is the thing. We have this house. Nobody could fix anything.

So it's like someone has to fuck someone. Like someone has to keep up the house. Goddamn sinks leaking. Sinks leaking. No, no, no. We couldn't start the lawnmower. It's like somebody's got to beg someone. Hold on. So with the stepdad, you guys get into a house in the Bronx.

So no, we were in a house because my dad's parents died, and that's how he got a house. Your biological father. No, my dad adopted me. OK. So he dies. They buy a house in 96. And he dies like five years later

Okay, so you then you're still in who's in the house you your mom my mom and my sister my mom's not working You know, I'm like 22 my sister probably like 17 or 18 or maybe a little older Yeah, like bills are coming in and like my dad because he's like a degenerate gambler He's been taking money from his pension the whole time So there's not like a lot of money talk about chasing the dragon you're going into you can't just like that's not an account You don't have a debit card to that account. You got to fill out paperwork What he did but we would go with him and sit in the car and he would go in and bet and do whatever he was Doing my mom also forced him to go to gamblers anonymous while he's gambling

It's like the whole thing is crazy. Is this when he would go into what, like an OTB? Or like a casino? I went to OTB since I was six. We went so often, the girl, I knew the girl behind the counter, she had my school picture up. We went so often to the OTB. She knew us, she had my school picture.

Because we were like family to her. She knew us us we were like there all the time why don't take any checks from her yeah I mean we're in the OTB all the time is the worst you didn't go to lacrosse camp no I wish that's when everyone was smoking that's 90s, yeah, that's that's 90s OT. What was your drink at the OTB? Would you get a Shirley Temple? Do they have your drink? I don't think we even got anything. My dad, all my dad's money was for my dad.

Do you mean like he was very cheap with us? He didn't want to like he wouldn't. We went to Catholic school, which is crazy to me. Is it for it? It is expensive. But he also was living in his mom's, you know, building and he was rarely ever paying rent. So like he would not pay my tuition or he'd pay it late. And then I'd have to go back to him like a bookie and be like, you got to pay the rent.

You know, they bring you in like the principal's office. They would be like, here's the thing. Give this to your dad. This is for the tuition. I'm like, why am I doing this? You guys call him. That's fucked up what the fuck dude did you always have money for lunch and stuff like that yeah I mean we were you always have a little cash sure and my mom like after my mom's

mother died she had a wallet just a 20s and I would just go in there and take them all right oh you know lie about something and then I started working pretty early I was like 16 was the first job my pretty early. I was like 16. What's the first job? My first I think was like answering the phones at a pizzeria Such a fucking problem your teen teenager fucking probably had a lot of attitude on that phone It'll be there when it's there I was also I had I worked at an icy place for like a day Yeah, what's the name of the pizzeria? Emilio's probably pretty good. I'd imagine it's okay captains was better, but now they've closed down So Bronx pizza place back in the day probably all right. Yeah

Okay, okay, and what uh, what was the first concert you went to? New kids on the block like 13 where Gordon Maybe I don't remember. Where, Gordon? Maybe, I don't remember. Yeah, wow. You a solo? No. When'd you start taking like the subway by yourself? Never.

See, this is, really? She's one of those, there's a certain, There's a certain place in the Bronx where you just don't take the, it's not close to you. Their car, they drive their car. That's right. We've always had a car, even if,

like we've always had shitty cars, my dad at some point would just like paint his own cars and he'd get tired half way so we'd have two different colors his own car He would get like a car from someone and then he'd be like I want to paint this so he'd pry house paint He'd prime half of it, and then he would give up so that was just as car And if you're rolling around with a car with a primer on a primed car yeah Half prime half prime car we get what do you know about them uncommon? around with a car with a primer on it. A primed car, yeah. A half primed car. Half primed car. What do you know about them uncommon goods? I know they ain't common.

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which is the equivalent of $15 a month. New customers on a first three month plan only speeds slower above 40 gigabytes Unlimited plan additional taxes fees and restrictions apply seat a mint mobile site for details do it And we'd always go on vacation and he would take these cars that would just break down all the time. Where was the vacations? And is it just you guys? Is it just your nuclear family? Just the four of us. Yeah, my grandparents died when I was all of them died like Within two years no cousins around the area or anything like that. No, huh? It was just the four of us. Yeah, my grandparents died when I was all of them died like within two years No cousins around the area or anything like that. No, huh? It was just the four of us

We've always had like a very small family. They had to be there. You just probably didn't talk to my mom So, okay, so my everybody money or something probably my mom's brother died He had a kid somewhere but nobody knew who he was and then my dad watching that kid my dad's brother I had a kid somewhere, but nobody knew who he was. And then my dad's brother lived with his grand. So we lived on the second floor of a two story building. And it was like my grandmother and grandfather. And my uncle lived in that one apartment. And we lived next door.

And then underneath there were two apartments. Just random people. Yeah, like people that, you know. So his mom, your stepdad's mom, owned that building. Yeah, I mean he was like my dad He raised gotcha, right, but she didn't set these kids up for success. They're both gamblers He lived he didn't like move out till she died. So he was probably like 4050 years old my uncle did they ever sell that building they did who got that money? So This has got to be a fight. No way. When do it? So because my dad claimed bankruptcy, he didn't leave it to my.

I mean, we didn't talk like he didn't leave it to my dad. So my uncle gave him money, but that we were supposed to get money. He didn't give it to us. Like, it was just a whole fucking my uncle was like working for FedEx. And then he was on disability and he had a whole case against them. And it's just a case against FedEx, but he was like working off the books doing something in a hospital. Like, you know, just.

Off the books in a hospital? What the fuck? That's a Bronx hospital right there. He was a doctor. He was doing surgery on most people. Cash only, cash only. I got a thing with FedEx going on. But he did get a lot of money from FedEx

I don't and then he moved to Pennsylvania to go like so that's the thing he like just waits for people to die and gets their money So that's what he's doing in Pennsylvania now. He's waiting for my aunts to die. It's a solid move right there It is if you could deal with it. They're all skim artists Okay, where was it? where would the vacations be? Pennsylvania. To the Poconos? No, we would go to Crescent, Pennsylvania to watch my aunt die.

Jesus, where's Crescent, Pennsylvania? I don't know, but it's not nice. Altoona? It's not nice. Altoona, Pennsylvania. How is that a vacation? What would you do? So you would go to your aunt's house in the summer? Allegheny County. For what, a week? Yeah. And what would you do? Population would go to your aunt's house in the summer. Allegheny County. For what, a week?

Yeah. And what would you? Population of 2,479 people. And then when we were there, it was 81, 2,700, whatever. And what would you do? You're just sad. Now you're saying you go from being sad in the Bronx to being sad. There's a supermarket. There's nothing to do there.

There's dude. It's literally like. Did they have a pool? No, it was like just a house and you're. So we'd go visit my two aunts. My one aunt was taking care of her sister who was dying and you literally just watched someone die for your vacation. In the living room while you're watching Jeopardy. She's just dying. She was in the living room?

Yeah. In the hospital bed? Yeah. Oh. And then she finally got annoyed with us coming to visit her. She just gave us money to go to Florida. There you go. Ah, see, it worked.

So you got down to Florida one year. Two years. We drove one year and then took the train another year. Oh my god, dude. My father was scared to fly. I just looked up that train. It's brutal. And now Amtrak super quick, because they're fast.

It was not Amtrak. No, I know. It took us like 28 hours. It's brutal. Amtrak super quick as they're fast. It was not Amtrak. It took us like 28 hours. It takes over a day. Jersey transit. We did not feel it. Yeah, we just looked this up. It takes over a day. It's not fun. Was it a sleeping car? Like, was there beds in your little bunk?

No, they were standing. It was the L train. It was standing room only. Help this thing. I had to have sex with a 12-year- old kid to go in his bed at night. No, I think it was just seats. I think we were just in regular seats. We were just in like a pass.

How old were you when you guys did this? I think 14. I was maybe 14 or something. Like we were still kind of young. And where'd you go in Florida? Did you go to Disney World? We went to Disney World, yeah, Orlando. That's pretty good.

I remember we got a rented car which was like nice for because we always had crap cars my dad was like you could Leave the doors open if they steal it. We don't have to pay I was like he steals it from himself takes the insurance guys take turns hitting each other He's like it doesn't matter leave the doors open. That's a dirt bag feeling rich. Don't matter. It's covered It's come and how was Disney World was a fun. It was fun. Yeah. Yeah, we. It's covered. It's covered. And how was Disney World? Was it fun? It was fun, yeah. Yeah? We had a good time.

Got caught stealing Mickey's wallet. Holy shit. Disney was fun, sure. Yeah, it was a good time. And you guys did that twice? We did it twice, yeah. Two years in a row? In a row?

Yeah. So you went to Disney World one year, Disney World the next year. That's trashy. And then I think I stopped going on vacation with them. I was like, I'm out. Sure. I think after that, about 15. Yeah, older teenager. So you would stay at the house?

I think none of us did anything anymore. We just stayed in the house. Jesus. How were the grades? My grades are great. I was a smart kid, and I didn't really do a lot of work. I didn't really have to apply myself. Because my parents are both kind of stupid,

they didn't push me to apply myself. It was great. I was the smartest person in the house of 14. Did you go to college? I did. Where'd you go? I went to Fordham. I went to two years community college

because I was going to pay for it myself. And then I went to Fordham and I was going to go to law school and instead I started stand up. No kidding. Who paid for Fordham? Student loans? I mean, technically no one. The student loan, somebody is paying, I don't know, I haven't paid my student loans ever.

You just don't think, it's crazy, just like, out of it. But you have your degree from Fordham. I do. That's good school. It is. Sociology. I was gonna go to law school. Did you stay on campus in Fordham? No. No?

I drove back and forth. Would you hang out? Would you go to parties and stuff like that? I was older than people because I had taken off when my dad died, so I was about two, three years older than everyone, so I just went to school and I had my own friends. Wait, hold on. Back this up. So you graduated high school what year?

96. And your dad gets sick? My dad got sick, yeah, I guess, like 2000, 2001. So what do you do after? So you did the community college right after high school. I think I did one semester and then my mom was like, hey, you should just get a full-time job like college is a waste. So I think I did that.

I got a full-time job. What was that? I worked at a doctor's office in the Bronx. I'm at the table. No, but that was a fun office because there was a lot of like young kids. It was like almost like being in high school still. You just see your friends every day So it was an OB GYN office that also did abortions

Okay, so you'd see all the girls in the neighborhood that are coming in pregnant and then they stopped coming and then they're not pregnant It's like hey, I know what you did They're like, I don't want you to know but it's like I do know Did you have tight friends in high school, yes was there did you fight in high school? Are you a fighter? No, I never really fought I could see you doing a little scratching I mean I got into like a full and fight when my dad was sick. I got into like a bar fight But other than that I mostly just fought my sister like fistfight. Yeah, I would get her in the corner. Just go really She was such a pain in the ass and like always trying to get me in trouble

I would just go nuts on her. Are you guys tight now? No, okay She's gonna be very upset when the special comes out. Oh really? Yeah Have you like taught like that type of like still communicator? We communicate a little bit We'll try and have a relationship and then like we don't. And then like me, my mom and sister, like the Bermuda Triangle where like it's just. There's never the three of you talking at the same time.

No, it's always two. Are you and your mom talking right now? We're talking right now. Everything's cool. Calling each other bitches. Well you. Calling each other bitches. Calling each other bitches, yeah.

Well you guys, who do you do Christmas with? Will you do that with your mom? Will you go to your mom's house? I probably will, but they're like, when I was living in the basement for a short amount of time, they would have Thanksgiving, and I would just hear them, and I was like downstairs by myself. Wait, who would? What do you mean?

My family. Like, there was a point in time where I lived downstairs in the basement. Of the apartment building? Of the house. Of the house? Yeah. Okay. And I would just have Thanksgiving by myself.

How old were you? Would they say, hey, come up? Or were you? Maybe? Who knows? Wait, what? Who else was having Thanksgiving? Your mom, your dad?

My mom, my stepfather at this point, James, that she married after my dad died. Oh, this is after your dad died? Yeah. And then my sister. Okay, so you're older, so you're in your 20s? Yeah. Okay. You still pop up, you're gonna have some stuffing.

I'm aware. Yeah, I mean, I've always kind of had a relationship so that what I really like hanging out with them or their family Holy shit, so you hear them upstairs having Thanksgiving I'm like, I'm just gonna go to sleep That's fucking Psychopath so back to how so how does the bar fight come about? So my dad's in the hospital dying and. My boss at the time is giving me a hard time at work, like taking off to see my dad who's dying. The doctor.

I know my boss at my job at the time at the abortion place. Yeah, she's like, office managers aren't running. The doctors don't get mad when you don't. Yeah. So the office the office manager is like, get back here and do these abortions. The doctors don't get mad when you don't. They're not doing the schedule. The office manager's like, get back here and do these abortions. No, so she's mad. She's giving me a hard time about taking off.

I'm just in such a bad emotional place. I get wrecked. And my friend, tell us a story about it. I'm not a great storyteller, but this guy in the bar was flirting with everyone. And I guess he was flirting with me. And then this girl guy in the bar was like full of confidence. Was flirting with everyone and like, I guess he was flirting with me. And then this girl pulled my hair and was like,

oh, I thought you were my friend Angela. And I'm so mad now. And I'm like, all right, I'm gonna fight this trick. I take these earrings off. I go to my car, I put my hair up and I go back. I'm so drunk. I just remember slamming her head on the bar. And this wasn't our bar.

So we all get kicked out. What are you in the road house? That's your move to slam your head on? That's what Marines do when they're on. Maybe. That was my move. When they're out on leave. I gotta say, that's not a bad move. No, it's a great...

No, it's a great... It's a good move. You walk up and just grab her. She don't square off. I think I pulled her hair first and was like, oh, I thought you were my friend, and I just slammed her head on the bar. I talked to you for a minute. Oh, sir. I'm also so drunk. and I just slammed her. I talked to you for a minute. Oh, I'm so drunk.

Now you can't leave. Yeah, I'm also so drunk. So then we get kicked out. It's not our bar. And I remember they were. She called me. Why do you keep saying that your bar you hang out in? It's not our bar that we hang.

It was like we were in City Island somewhere. And that's not like where we grew up. So they were from City Island. And you're behind enemy lines a little bit. Right. So they're like, you guys get to get out. I remember they call me fat. And I was like, yeah, I know. Like, that's not like, you guys gotta get out. I remember they called me fat and I was like,

yeah, I know. Like that's not like a, that's not like the- Should we just bash this broad's head in? So we got kicked out. I'm so mad. I punch a glass window, my whole hand's bleeding. It was like chaotic. My friend who doesn't even have a license

drives the car home. I have blood all- That's why you gotta be worried about the license. I have blood all over my shirt. We go into like 7-Eleven to get 40s and I'm like, what's everyone looking at my friends like you have blood everywhere Wait, so you get in a fight. This is you and all girls you in a pack of pack pack of Bronx girls It's me and a couple of girls and some of their boyfriends were there too. It's like a bunch of probably a wrecking crew I don't know

I remember one time I was dating this guy and we all went out and like he was in the army at one Point he was like jacked. I remember we got into a fucking head Anybody looks eat wrong hold her hair and smash your face We got we got a fight and like we got to fight that wasn't even our fault And I just remember he picked a guy up dropped him and we were like that guy might be dead We got to go and we all just left so yeah he he was not there at this time that was pre him huh do you remember the name of the bar in City Island I don't and it's probably not I probably wouldn't what was your bar in the Bronx um I don't know he would just

go to a lot of bars I'm like I guess East Tremont there was like Frenchies that's no longer there and cheese is is a good bar name. Have you ever had your earring ripped out or ever ripped out another girl's earring? No. Hmm. I'm surprised. Yeah, did you ever date a guy who sold weed? I dated a guy that his cousin sold coke

and he went on, he went. It's the Bronx answer to that. He was also a gambler. So he was a way like. He'd like professionally play poker and we were like selling coke out of his Jetta. You were selling coke. I wasn't. He was.

I was in the car. He was filling in for his cousin while he was away. He was filling in for his cousin. He's a family man at the end. He was. And then I remember the money we made, we spent.

So he had to pretend his car got ransacked, so he destroyed the inside of his car. Hold on, so you sold coke for a guy? I wasn't selling coke. You were there when your boyfriend- You were just a chick sitting in the- Yeah, I didn't know. I was damsel in distress.

I had no idea what was going on. I've been the guy in the back of that car. Hey, what's going on? How are you? So how long you've been dating? Yeah Yeah, so then he just was like I got a we we spent all this money So we're gonna have to just say my car got broken. What would you spend the money on you guys living like? I mean, we're like 20 tracksuits

What's the name of the mall? What's the big mall in the Bronx? Bay Plaza. Bay Plaza, yeah. That's trash. Oh, I apologize. I love it. I was talking to the queen pin.

I love it, but it's trash. What was like a birthday like? Would you like, did you get like, if you guys were going out to eat, would you go to like a restaurant? What was dinner like? Was your mom cooking? My dad, everything was like the Pine Tavern. What's the Pine Tavern?

It's an Italian restaurant in the Bronx that my dad loved. Was there a while where things were somewhat OK? Like, you growing up, your mom and your dad were together. You had your sister. I thought I had a good childhood, just because I had friends. It, that's a good restaurant. It is a good restaurant.

I had friends and like. It has muscles. I was happy because I was like, you know, dating, you know, like me and my sister's childhoods, I think were a bit different. My sister was like struggled in school. She wasn't like, she didn't really have boyfriends. So she was always kind of trying to get me in trouble.

So I'd stay with him. You're what, four years apart? Three. Three, so you guys were kind of, you were in in trouble so I'd stay with him. You're what, four years apart? Three. Three, so you guys were kind of, you were in high school at the same time. Yeah, I mean we shared a bedroom. Really? Yeah, we grew up in a two bedroom apartment.

All the way through? Until I was 18, until my grandmother died. Where'd you, and then you moved into the house. When did you move out? Did you ever get a place on your own? I would move out with boyfriends. You know, because I started doing stand-up at like 26. Are they in that house now still?

Is your mom in that house? Well. Here we go. My mom and stepfather got divorced, but my mom couldn't afford to move out. So she was living upstairs, he's living in the basement. She's trying to get him to buy her out. Of a house that she doesn't own.

She does own it. She owns half of it. She owned the whole thing because she had that house from my dad. From your dad, from your, okay. And I told her don't refinance it. I'm getting confused with the dad in this step back now, sorry. I know, I'm sorry.

So she refinances, I go don't do that because now he's gonna be eligible to have some of this house. So she, okay, let me get, so she was the owner of it after your dad passed. Yes, mm-hmm. They get married. They get married, they refi. He's on the documents. Right. And I'm like, that's not a good idea. A stake in the house. Right.

They get divorced. How long did that last? They're married about 10 years. OK. So she got like his social security and stuff. It was like her best move financially for her. You're in your 20s at this point. Yes. OK. When they're married. Yes. Right. So he gets cancer and he's like, during COVID,

he gets cancer and then he gets better, but then he's like bad and my sister's like, like kind of caretaking for him. My sister gets in between my mother and anyone she's like dating, it's very weird. Even she did that even with my dad. This isn't her dad. No.

This is her stepdad too. This is her stepdad too. Okay. Her dad very weird. Even she did that even with my dad. This isn't her dad. No. This is her stepdad. This is her stepdad. OK, that passed away. Yes. Right. It's a whack a mole with dads. I know. And they're most of them have the same name. So I can't even tell you they're all frank. Yeah. So Joe, Joe, Joe and James. So James now, my mom's got a pipe. So James. Hey, you play the pony. Is your name Joe? He was in a gambler. He was an alcoholic a wild alcoholic

Drinking in the house drinking in the house and saying he's not drinking and then you go lift up the barbecue and there's like all Empty bottles like wild like a wild family. What uh, what was his drink of choice? I think whiskey Gentlemen, I got a couple empty bottles of Maker's Mark in my house. Yeah, he was like a wild alcoholic. So he gets sick and now like, he ends up buying my mom out of the house. Okay.

A month later he dies. If my mom waited, she would have gotten the house. Right, but my sister buys the house with him without my mother knowing. So now my sister owns the house and what my mother out What shut up? Yeah Wait, so she back or session for dirt bags. It's succession in the lowest level It's on like a two-bedroom house in the broth. They're back stabbing their mom bag. Yeah, it's crazy

This is when they were had already broken up. Sorry, Kibbe. Yeah, they're divorced. He's living downstairs. He's living downstairs. Where's your sister living upstairs with your mom? She might be living, I don't know. And you're not living there at this point. No, no, no, no, she's living somewhere else, I think. She buys the house with them.

Without my mother knowing, and then she also finagled into leaving him. He left my sister like his life insurance policy, didn't even leave his own kid it So my sister has a ton of money No way yeah What's a ton of money for someone in the Bronx probably like half a male? That's a fucking Quarter of a million a ton of money plus she owns this house plus

She also owned his apart his condo in Florida, and she's so cheap So she has a kid and she sends him to school in like the cheapest clothes. That's the Bronx in her. Taking a dig at her. He's not even wearing Nike pants. He's wearing fucking sketches to school and getting his ass kicked.

That go-chains. He is getting his ass kicked though. Well because he's like the only white kid in school. And my sister has all this money and he's like special needs. Like send him to a school where they're gonna actually cater to him, you know? So you're in somewhat contact with her. You guys are both aware of what's going on in each other's lives. A bit. A bit. So your mom has no recourse? Where's your mom at now? She's in Stanford.

Connecticut. Okay. She's in Connecticut. So there's got her own place. She got her, yeah. In an apartment. In an apartment. Is she dating? My mom is dating, I guess. But my mom is following the rules, that book from the 90s, where it's like you can all like if. Chicken soup for the soul?

It's chicken soup for the soul, yeah. Where it's like if he doesn't ask you out in two texts, you're out. And then you could only answer after 7 PM. It's a lot of rules like that. How old is she at this point, if you don't mind me asking? I'm not 68. She's 68.

But Julie still looks pretty good. And does she work or no? My mom did stand up. She did? Yeah. I knew that. Yeah, she got me into stand up. I didn't know that.

She doing comedy now. She does mostly black rooms. No, she's an urban. Your mom's an urban. No, she does whatever. But like she does do a lot of that. She's booking. That's where she's getting. Yeah. No shit.

Yeah. So that's how she's paying her bills. No. Oh, so how's she paying her bills? She's probably not paying. She's got that pension. You know, she's got my, the social security from like, your dad. I think she has probably money from my stepfather and then maybe she gets something from my dad

that she was with for 20 years. She's doing okay. She's doing better than if she worked. Gotcha. I think, I don't know. Do you see her often? I gotta start doing black work. No, she's not making a lot of money.

Get up down a little. Um, would you just ask? Mokey. Get up down a little. What'd you say? Mokey! Get up the mocha. Shut up. I'm going to give you a Google, or she's doing standup in a diner on a table. She's doing the hootest of rooms.

I've done that cake. Yeah, you've done it. She's done it too. No shit. Have you ever done the same show as her? Yes. And I won't do it again. Recently?

Or was it like, hey? No, this is a long time ago Okay We did a show and like all her white lady friends came out to like an urban show and like in the middle and it's late You know those shows don't start on time It's like 10 11 o'clock. It's 10 11 o'clock and they're all sleeping They start blue-haired white broad sleeping they start banging on the table during someone else's act where they're like, we want Debbie,

they start chanting her name. Oh my god. I go, I'm out, I will never do another show with you. It was in the Bronx. Is she asking you how to like, is she aware of your, she's aware of your success? Is she happy for you? I think she's happy for me, but she also is like a comic

where she'll be like, how did you get that? Will Ari Shafia talk to me? Yeah, she'll be like, how did you get that? Yeah, well Ari Shafia talked to me. Yeah, she's really like, how did you get that? Or she'll ask me to like Help she'll ask me a question like how to write something to a book or I'm like just fucking write to them I know who's coming on the show. I know who's next week's gonna be here next week. Yeah That would be that would be that would be one and that would just say it would end in a fight I mean you just push it would end in a fight. Just a dust ball Yeah, that would end in a fight for sure my head hurts dude my head hurts well who was Who was Putin? I used to say who was Putin?

That's what I thought you were going to say. That's my dad. That's my fourth dad. Were you taking lunch to school as a kid or was she making you lunch? No, I went to Catholic school. They always had food. Lunch was pretty good. Really?

Yeah, pretty gross. My Catholic school was really good. I loved it. They could have served you gruel and you wouldn't have had any. It was pretty disgusting. Okay, let's talk about chubbies. Ooh, chubby, chubby, chubbies. I'm a chubby chaser, dog.

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Was it Italian food? It was Italian food. She cooked a lot of chicken, but like she would cook, you know On Sunday, she would make you know pasta and she would do a sauce on she did a good sauce Really? Mm-hmm. It's pretty good. Would you get bro when like, during the Thanksgiving periods where you weren't invited up there, would you be... I feel like I could have always gone up. They wouldn't be like, shunned me. Like it's the lady from downstairs. Oh, I guess we could fit one more.

They'd start moving plates around, didn't you? Yeah. But would you be able to go up there on a Sunday and grab a plate? Sure. Yeah, I can do that. What's like, you know. But then you have to also deal with what comes with that. It's like, is the food worth dealing with the dynamic? Even the weeks of the blowback or just whatever is happening.

Good homemade sauce. I'd take a lot. Now, what would. All right. You know, it's fucking middle of November. What does Christmas time look like? When? Like, like even this Christmas, what's this gonna look like? You got your own place now, away from all this. Yeah. But still in the Bronx.

Yeah. Are you gonna go see them? Do you make phone calls? Like what's the? I mean, I won't probably talk to my sister. Maybe we'll text each other, but like probably not. Like just like a Merry Christmas. Yeah, maybe I'll see my mom.

Okay, will you go over there for Thanksgiving? To Connecticut, maybe. Yes. It'll just be you and her and... Maybe. Maybe she'll have a gentleman friend there. Oh, man. Joe, obviously. You haven't met any of her new boyfriends now.

I met... Okay, so last Christmas, me and her hadn't seen each other for a year. Last Christmas, me... Can I ask what that beef was about, specifically? You can. Who knows? It's like one of those things where who knows? I feel like you've released yourself to like yeah It's just always gonna happen like how much of a part of it. Do you think you are?

Are you like I think at some point good question cuz like a lot of times you are very go with the flow Like ah whatever you're being fucking are you starting trouble? I don't know if I'm starting trouble I think like so my family does this thing where like they want something from you, and if you can't do it Then they're mad at you is that with it would that be like hey come over for whatever like I might be like It might be like asking you for a favor. I mean my mom is also like pretty selfish Okay, what's a typical favorite cash? You're looking for cash. No I don't know if it's a ride. It's just like Maybe we'll get into a fight or something.

Maybe my mom will want me to do something and I can't do it. For a while she was like really asking me a lot of comedy stuff and I was like, I don't wanna deal. Like if I hang out with her too long, that's what happens and it's like I'm now mentoring her. It's like I don't wanna deal with that. How did she start? When did she start doing comedy?

She started when I was like 18 and then she would quit and then she'd start, then she'd start and she'd quit. Then she started in the Bronx, like just doing like an open. What do you think? Probably. Like the New York scene. No, she never really did it. Do you know what I mean?

Like she would do open mics. Whatever. I remember one time me and my dad took the bus to go see her graduation show. From a comedy class. Where was the comedy class? It was at Stand Up New York. Sure. And I was like, this is brutal. Who knows? This is a long time. Were was the comedy class? It was at stand-up New York. Sure.

And I was like, this is brutal. Who knows? Were you a comic at the time? No, I was like 18 or 17. I was young. We're taking the bus to stand-up New York. Dude, I would fucking kill everyone in my family then myself. It was brutal. If that was ever a life.

Taking the bus to stand-up New York. Now doesn't exist. Right. For a bringer show. For a bringer show. Which I've done those bringer shows back in the day where industry showcases, I was told. Sure. I used to come up and do like a 3 PM show

with like 15 of my friends from Philly. Man. I probably did a show with your mom. I don't know, you were way too young. True, good point. I think you'd be very young to be, I mean back then, maybe now. Maybe now. So as of right now you have no Thanksgiving plans?

No. If not, will you? A lot of times I would just work at the cellar. I'd put in a veil for the holidays. Okay. Because I'd be like, I don't really, I'm not hanging out with anyone, so I'll just work. Gotcha. You wouldn't make a little turkey yourself and have your own little thing. I mean, I've had situations where

if I'm dating someone, maybe we'd have our own Thanksgiving, or I'd go to their family, or something like that. Gotcha. I remember one time I just went to the diner and got the saddest turkey. The turkey plate? It's pretty good at a diner, though. The open-faced turkey.

It's not that bad, and everyone is not there. It's just you and a couple of sad men. Yeah, but see, I get that like you're The alternative would be going to your family and arguing and just be like there's no texting We're texting right you let other people in the diner know that you do have a family like I could be No, I'd rather they think I have no one it's a lot less sad that way I'd rather they think I have no one. It's a lot less sad that way. Jesus Christ.

It's like, oh, I have family. I just choose not to be with them. You don't have to say, but do you have a favorite diner up there? In the Bronx? Yeah. Bronx diners are kind of trash. Probably Crosstown, though. OK. What are you doing for most of your meals now? Ordering out. I'll just cook myself usually.

What's your go-to? I like a nice filet mignon. Really? That's my favorite. Clay see, how do you do it at the house? You do it on the grill skillet. Um, cast cast iron. Yeah, yes. I am skillful, right? That's what it is. I like it.

Yeah. How do you cook it? Do you do like medium? Do you do like the butter with the the cloves of garlic? Sometimes I do rosemary, but like now I'm just not doing that because I've also had pantry moths for the last three months. So I've been like bouncing all over the place. You said what?

Pantry moths, hand-drawn moths. They come in like you got bugs. They come in like your grain. I've had this. Have you? I can't. I mean, it's been three months. My place has been exterminated seven times. I've thrown everything in my house out. Pantry moths? And I said to my landlord, he goes. They're like worms.

But they're like little moths. Like, I'm not scared of them. I'm just over the whole situation. I've thrown everything out in my kitchen. I was living with my mom on her couch. In Connecticut? Yeah, that's how we were talking again, because I was like, oh, I need somewhere to go.

Because of the moths? Yeah. It was that bad Yes, come on in and can I get sdz mill? Give me the contact info for Netflix Let me run this bit by real quick. Have you ever had writing sessions with your mom like sit down and What are you talking about? Right? mean, I felt like we both I think One time I helped you the mic I gave her a joke for like a shirt of hers or something. We'd like bartered Okay, wait you put what?

Yeah, she wanted one of my jokes. I was like you can have it I don't do it and she gave me like a sweater. What was the joke? What was the sweater? Sweater is pretty nice. I don't know. I think it was the joke. What was the sweater? The sweater is pretty nice. I don't know. I think it was. It's like comedy in medieval times. Bartering for goods and services. The joke was something about

how she didn't like my boyfriend or something. And I was like, your first husband was a drug dealer. And she's like, no, he's a drug user. I'm like, that's even worse. The other way he had a job. Sure. Yeah. So I was like, she liked that joke. And it's about her. So she was. She was like, sure, I'll take it. So you're still dealing with the Moss situation. Yeah, I was like she liked that joke and it's about her so she took she was sure

I'll take it so you're still dealing with the moth situation Yeah, I called my landlord this morning, and he goes we just may not be able to get rid of them They may just live there I don't understand if you got rid of all the stuff in your pantry and the place is clean in a bump where are they? Living who knows multiply who knows? Who knows do you have anything else in the house any roaches any mice anything? Just these things I can't get rid of them. They were gone for like a month.

I was like, okay, I unpacked all my stuff. And then I seen like two last night. I'm like, I'm going to lose my mind. So you opened the pantry? There's nothing in my pantry. There's nothing in the pantry. You have moths flying around. It's not like they're flying around now

because the place has been exterminated seven times. That probably can't be good for you. No, that's why I'm staying on the couch. So I'm just rooting my back instead of my respiratory system. Jesus. Wait, you're sleeping on your couch? My mom's. Oh, you're still up there.

No, I've been down back in the Bronx. It's like, I have no stability. It's like insane. When's the last time you were staying at your mom's? You are about that life. I just moved back in a week ago. No shit. Yeah. One night I was like, I'm just going to sleep in my car.

It was like five in the morning. I went to eight hotels and I was like, I'm going to sleep in my car. There's no availability. No, it was like some kind of college weekend or something. Everyone's dumb family was in. I was like, I'm going to sleep in my car and I literally don't care. You're sitting there with your turkey plate. Just eating my car like this.

At freshman orientation. It's family weekend. I'm like, can you just adopt me? Let me ask you this. What do the moths do that you can't stay there? Are they like flying on you? Yeah, they'll just fly around. They're asking her who books this zeller.

Well, that's not that bad. It's not like their roaches are like landing on you. I can't deal with that. No, I had them too. It creeps you out? In like an almond flower or something we got. It was in a flower. I just, I can't deal with it.

I can't have bugs flying around. Listen, I also grew up where we grew up with like roaches. My mom, so I think bugs just freaked me out. My mom every like summer would like prepare mentally to stomp roaches when she opened the door. So I just, I can't stand bugs at all. It's not good. You think I'm not moving?

Maybe. Maybe I'm gonna move, I don't know. I just don't wanna take my- I would've moved after three exterminators. That's such a New York problem. They go, yeah, we tried, don't fix it. This is the problem. There's no alternate street parking where I live. It's kind of amazing. Don't fix it. This is the problem. There's no alternate street parking where I live.

It's kind of amazing. You're working through and through. There's no alternate street parking. It's 12 minutes from LaGuardia. It's like, it is a great apartment, aside from that. My landlord's okay. He's like, you know, we battle. It's like, we'll battle.

It's gross. Talking to him, he's a nightmare. Have you ever worked at any of the same places as your family members? Where like your sister got you a job or something or a cousin or anything? No, my sister usually if she has a job, people there are not happy with her.

So it'd be like. Man, she's getting it this episode. Which I respect. Where are you grocery shopping? I'm not even being mean to her. The special is she's going to be mad. Really? It's that bad?

None of it's a lie. That's what I'll say. That's serial killer shit. I didn't lie. None of it's a lie. It's all facts. I can't wait. It's all factual.

Folks, tune in. My sister's baby daddy lives like two blocks from me, and it's a whole chaotic situation. No way. Yeah. Wait, say it again? Your sister's baby daddy lives like two blocks from me and it's a whole chaotic situation. No way. Yeah Wait, say it again your sister's baby daddy lives like two blocks from me and like His wife or whatever was like stalking me for a while and like listening to my podcast trying to find out info It's all nuts. Are we in any danger? You guys are fine, Oh man. It's wild. What grocery store you shopping at? Who cares?

The one with the moths. I don't even know if you hit the whole food. I have no food in my house because of the moths. So I was cooking and then I'm like, all right, I'm out again. When was the last vacation you went on, non-comedy related, went on vacation? Drove to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania one time. All right, I'm out again. When was the last vacation you went on, non-comedy related, or went on vacation? Drove to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania one time. I don't know. Probably a long time ago. Probably with like an ex-boyfriend or something. Sure.

Take a vacay. Take the train down to Florida or something like that. I mean, me and me I'll go visit that aunt and uncle. Yeah, see if they're dead. What's funny is me and him became Facebook friends. Who, your uncle? My uncle, my dad's brother who like, owes, you know, who stole money.

And he was like praying for something. He stole the money from your adopted dad's parents. Yes. Gotcha. OK. He friended you on Facebook. I think I friended him on Facebook, where I seen a post of his.

And it was like, he was like asking for prayers for something. And I was like, well, maybe if you die, you'll see my father in the afterlife and you'll give him the money you owe him and he was like unfriend It's that peluche takes it out on fucking front street, dude. She don't give a fuck. I know it's not good You are like brutally on it. You do have like a brutally honest grip on life and I guess I don't think it's good. No I like it. No, I love I respect it. But like the people don't want to hear that listen

That's asking for prayers for somebody dying or so. He shouldn't have stole the money. He should have stole the money. I get it I'm just saying he wasn't expecting that blue with Judge Dredd Greg. Fucking Judge Jerry. Fucking Grim Reaper has entered the chat. The people I love I would do anything for. So that's like the yin and yang, I guess. Who would those people be? Yeah, because you haven't mentioned anybody

that somebody would typically love. A couple of friends. I guess I would still do anything for my family, even though they're nuts. And that's probably it. Couple of friends. Okay. High school friends, childhood friends, or comedy friends?

I have some comedy friends and some childhood friends that I would still do anything for. We actually used to work in this, me and you used to work in the same building. It took me a couple of years to put this together. That's right. We worked in the same building in New Rochelle. I worked at a law firm and you worked at a doc, what was that? So it was a law office and a collection agency. Okay. Wait, did we work at the same company? No, it was different. I worked at a law firm and you worked at a doc. Well, there's a law office and a collection agency Okay, wait, did we work at the same company? No, I remember it being different. Yeah, you you wanted I think a bigger office Yeah, yes, don't pretty well as all your jobs your regular jobs coming up in comedy Ben of that ilk collection agency

Family members you were a nanny. I was a nanny for all while. She's calling her family members. You were a nanny. I was a nanny for a while, yeah. For who? Just rich people, rich whites. Real. You couldn't have gone over well with them at all. They loved me. I could see that, actually.

Every day, would you stay there? Would you live there? No, no, no, no. So maybe I wasn't a nanny. But I was going there and watching the kids for three or four hours. OK. And then when I did it again, like in two days.

In the burbs Oh Westchester yeah nice And then I was like driving kids to like whatever their rich stuff was guitar lessons where it's like that's rich stuff Whatever they're doing. It's it's something that's unnecessary Take them to the doctors or whatever. I think I did take him the the doctor also. That's another rich person thing. What kid needs a dentist? You got a dentist and an orthodontist? It was like for allergy shots. That is a very privileged thing.

That is a rich kid shit. All right, so. I mean, you know. I mean, do you remember any of your AOL screen names? Vodka 217. You know, do you drink now or no? No, but I used to drink. What age we talking? You got it in high school, vodka 217. You know, do you drink now or no? No, but I used to drink. What age we talking?

You got in high school? Vodka 217? I was probably like, you know, 2018. Vodka 217. Yeah. What was your vodka? Whatever. Whatever.

Pinnacle girl. Whatever it was. Do you remember any fake, did you have fake IDs growing up? I had my friend's sister's fake ID. We looked nothing like. Sure. Well, I guess we both had like dark hair and dark eyes. What are you driving around town and now?

What kind of car do you have? A Rogue. Our Nissan Rogue. Own it. Lease it. Own it. Own it. How long have you had this? 2019. OK. Paid off. Are you still paying it off? Paid off. No alternate side parking. You could leave that car. I could actually live in the car.

I know, but see the thing is, what's the deal with... I switch streets. I switch the side of the street because I want to. But why... Is the car clean? Do you keep the car clean? It's pretty clean. I've been in one of your cars before. It's pretty clean, but because I've had to be moving and everything, there's just like stuff in it. You know what I mean? But it's clean.

Do you eat in the car? Sometimes. Okay You ever smoked a black and mild? Mmm. I don't think so. Really? You ever smoke cigarettes? Sure Shane smoke if I'm drinking. Yeah. Okay. Do you not drink at all? Are you sober? You just don't like I guess I'm sober Yeah, okay. When's the last time you drank like when in the hay day when you were drinking? Probably like two years ago I had a glass of wine or whatever. I think I just had like vodka to 17 Now I think I really like Captain Morgan and coke my god you are the more gonna diet coke

Yeah, I'm trying to save calories guys. It's gotta be diet coke. Captain Morgan, also she didn't do the, the trashier thing is the Captain Morgan's throwing an S on there. I'll do Captain Morgan's and coke. Who's doing the hair these days? Where are you getting your hair done? Where do you get your hair cut? I cut it myself.

Cut it yourself. It's not like I think, it's not like I don't wanna pay. It's just like, I wanna cut it right now and then if I call them, they're like, come in next week, I'm like, forget it. I'll do it myself. Huh. So no salon or anything like that.

That's not good. It's not good, but it's like the least worst thing I'm doing. Do you know what I mean? Like, there's other bad stuff I'm doing. But like, that's not that bad. Such as? For a while. I mean, I can't do this anymore now.

I used to just call in prescriptions for my friends because like no one had health insurance. Well, when you work in a doctor's office, you figure out how to do that. Are you allowed to be saying this? I mean, I think this is when I was like 20. Okay. I feel like the statute of limitations has run out.

Sure. Also, this could all be a joke. Yeah, it's all for comedy purposes. It's all for comedy purposes. So you would call in and say, hey, this is Dr. Appaloochee. No, I wouldn't say that. Of course.

Come on. Yeah, it's just Dr. Vodkutu once. Hello, this is- This is Dr. Appaloochee. No, I wouldn't say. Of course. Come on. Yeah, it's just Dr. Vodkitu17. Hello, this is. Dr. Belvedere. This is Captain Morgan. I wasn't calling crazy stuff in, it was mostly like amoxicillin. Yeah, amoxicillin or birth control stuff

that you should just be able to get. Man, you are running with a rough crew. If you're calling in antibiotics for your fucking friend. Birth control. That's great. I just need a Z-pack get me straight I mean a 100% what New York Bronx trash trash The thing is I'm not even the trashiest of the Bronx. That's what I don't think you're the trashiest of your family

Yeah, so that's what I'm saying. It's like there is way worse You're the trashiest of your family. Yeah, so that's what I'm saying. It's like there is way worse Say that for my sister my sister would be better because my sister would be like my sister's worse than me Like I know how to act in certain situations My sister does not she's gotten That one keep looking at you'll get kicked out of places all the time. Oh shit Yeah, she's like banned from places Like she'll steal this much Like sugar or whatever. It's like you're rich. Why are you doing?

Like a coffee like from like 7-eleven. She'll just grab a handful You're like you're out of here On the door. You gotta go, Tutsk. Gang, the specialist, the Dark Queen, produced again by Mr. R. Shafir, directed by Mr. Louis C.K. It is on Netflix right now. Adrienne is one of the funniest comics working. Killer. Do yourself a favor.

Check it the fuck out. Adrienne, like Kipi said, 100% trash. Bronx garbage. And you own it. You're not fucking away from it at all. anything else you want the folks out there to know tour I'm I guess you know follow me on Instagram check out. I'm gonna have some tour dates up go cool I don't know check out the special gang check out the special And if you hate it like even let me know what joke you tapped out on yeah

I love that to where you're like I was in and then I seen that and I was out. It was enough for me. I was out. Oh, man, buddy. Thank you. Kibbe, what do you got for him? Guys, nothing. We're chilling. Check out the AYG and Friends shows. We're going to be doing more of those live. Yeah. Website for the old Patreon and website for all the details. Gang, we love you. Adrian, we love you, buddy.

I love both of you. Thank you for having me. Congrats. We'll see you next week. Peace.