Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Akaash Singh: Texas Trash

Episode Date: May 11, 2020

Stand up comedian and podcaster Akaash Singh joins us to talk growing up in Texas, his Indian Family, and Pizza Hut vs Dominos. Its a hot one! You know Akaash Singh from the Flagrant 2 podcast and MTV.  Garbage Question Submission? [e-mail] 

Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast. This is Are You Garbage? The show where we sit down with your favorite comedians and find out if they grew up classy or if they grew up trash. I'm your host H. Foley coming at you on a beautiful day.

Beautiful day. Here in Astoria, Queens, my co-host, hot tail out of town. The first sign of trouble when the Rona came to town. He's at an undisclosed location somewhere in southern New Jersey, his mom's house. Give it up for Kippy, Kevin, James, and Ryan. My mom's vacation house. It pays to have a little bit of cash, you know what I mean? New money, baby, down here in South Jersey, living it up, playing it right.

Funnel cake all day, riding the Ferris wheel, hit the swings maybe, log flume, whatever you need. I'm your guy. Thanks for listening everybody. Please take a quick second to subscribe to the YouTube channel. On iTunes, you can rate, review, we appreciate all the comments, everything like that. And please tell a motherfucking friend how about that. Very nice. Thank you, Kippy.

Our very, very special guest today. We're so excited to have him. Kind of been a mentor to us going all the way back to the West Village days here in New York City. He is an accomplished and very funny standard comedian. You've seen him on wild and out, joking off, difficult people. The leftovers, StarTalk, video, clickbait, guide code, guide code versus Gert Claude. All right. And he is the co-host of the amazing podcast, Flagrant 2.

Ladies and gentlemen, the one, the only. Mr. Akas Singh. That is the most thorough list of credits I've ever gotten to the point that it makes me seem way more successful. I heard a couple of those. I'm like, I don't even, I'm like fully might be fucking juicing this list a bit. Three lines on difficult people. I don't even remember some of the other StarCross, the Neil DeGrasse Tyson show.

I mean, it's crazy. Clickbait, clickbait, you are an narrator for 20 episodes. I must have brought in a couple of fossils. You know what I mean? Oh, that was great. I saw that. I was sliding off my seat. I was like, what the hell is that?

Money. I was on like five, six TV shows. 2018, one by one, they all just got canceled and I just got more and more desperate. It was, it's one of the most like sad like falls from grace I've ever seen and I was, it was mine. It's always sad when you're in it regardless of how bad it is. One by one. I was like, every show I've got, I still got all these shows.

And then that one would be gone. I'd be like, I still got four. That was good. Then by some point I was just there with nothing over the course of nine months. Now we all got nothing, baby. To a degree. No. I see him.

They're breaking the social distancing rules. Him and fucking you guys are still recording episodes. Yeah, man. We're essential personnel or media. Yeah. Right. Fuck out of here. Oh, over at Schultz studios.

Yeah. What are you talking about? You guys would be bigger than MTV in six months. You'll be buying MTV in six months. Thank you, man. It's probably cheap right now. Nobody's watching Viacom. Yeah.

Now you definitely get your hands on comedy central. I think they're doing too hot. Oh man. I'll just sell a special of them and pretend I did it on my own. Yeah. Perfect. New executive at get comedy central. Mr. Case Rosso.

Hello gentlemen. He brings all the squad in. Everybody's running shit. Buddy. Buddy shows cancel. I'm sorry. Hey, so I was thinking about doing this show. Buddy go nuts.

That's good. Good stuff. I gosh, we're so happy to have it here on the, on the podcast. Buddy want to find out a little bit about you grew up. I knew you're a Cowboys fan. Yeah. Technically the show would be over there because you're fucking garbage. All right.

And we can say that as Eagle stands. Okay. Anybody, if anybody can judge other fans, it's Eagle's fans for sure. You guys are pure class. Yeah. If you think I've never been to a wedding in Philadelphia and people started chanting, fuck the Cowboys. I mean, yeah, for sure that happens multiple times.

Remember how there was a one scene in silver linings playbook where a Philadelphia fan who was brown got beat up for being brown by other Philadelphia fans. Honestly, this gives these guys an M give you guys an awesome. I just, I don't know how things get more realistic. Yeah, dude. That's, that's some real shit. That is real fucking. My wife, my wife is future wife is from Philly.

Her dad is an Eagle's family. He's sick. He wears the pub, the pub, the turban. I want to take him to a game, but like, I definitely won't cheer for the Cowboys. If it's a cowboy game, I'll be quiet as fuck. But man, I'm worried about these animals. No, you, you should be all right. If you put it, he can, he can wear the, you know, he can wear the hat, but he also has

to wear a jersey. If he wears a wench jersey, all is forgiven. Done. I'll get him a jersey. The most racist thing I thought in that scene was the people that were defending the brown people. When it was the fight was starting in silver linings public. The one guy yelled, Hey man, leave the Indians alone.

And the way he said that was almost more racist than the guys wanting to beat him up. That's as sweet as Philly can be. Yeah. That's an ally in Philly. That dude, that dude should run for fucking mayor. I'm Philly. All right. Put a record also.

I'm only a cowboy fan because I'm from Dallas. I get why other people hate Cowboys fans that aren't from. I get it. If I was going anywhere else, I would hate the Cowboys. The thing that I think is garbage is when, and I understand it, but when people are fans of, and it's all silly, but when people are fans of teams or they didn't grow up. Yeah. It's always trustworthy.

I can't trust you as a fucking person. I mean, you like the team of your town or nothing. That's all you get. Me, the guy from Jersey is like, Oh, I'm really at the fucking the San Diego Chargers. Like that the fuck out of you fucking garbage. Yeah. Especially when I've never been good. Like, yeah.

I know he's had like some bullshit story. It's like, well, my dad went up on a business trip to San Diego one time and he really liked the pizza. It's like, shut the fuck up. You know, you're a bad judge of character. That's like Chris Cotton was, it was the biggest 49ers fan. We used to make fun of them because they were terrible the last 10 years. I remember Cotton was a 49ers fan.

Cotton was a fucking 49ers fan. I'd be like, what the fuck did your kid from black kid from South Philly? The fuck do you care about the 49ers? Before Kaepernick. It wasn't like a Kaepernick thing. No. Yeah. Years, years before that.

And he was too young to remember Montana. And then I could kind of give it to you. Either way, garbage doesn't matter. So you grew up in Dallas. Are your, your parents, did your parents come here? Or were they born here? My mom moved here in 1968. I think she was 14.

That's her listed age. She actually doesn't know her real birthday at all. That's wild. But she, she was 14. She was somewhere between 14 and 18 and she came here. And then when she, my dad and her got in a range of marriage, he came over and he was 24. So seven.

Damn. I think he came over. Damn. And they, they went to straight to Dallas. Straight to Dallas. And I don't understand. I think my grandfather lived here for like 10 years before he brought my mom over. And then at that point he had settled in Dallas.

It was cheap. He had a job. So he brought them over and then when my mom and dad got married, you're not going anywhere else. Yeah. Yeah. For sure. And then did you grow up in like a house?

Was it like a suburban house? Did you grow up in Dallas? suburbs, white kids, all of that. Yeah. Single homes. Did you have a garage? Yeah. The next question.

We're in the middle. We're in the middle of serious questions here. This is a fascinating story. I know exactly where you're about to go with this. Yeah. Let's get into what the fuck we pussy. We just heard immigrated to America, arranged marriage.

And here's the first question. Go ahead. Do you have a garage? Did you have a garage fridge growing up? No. No, no garage fridge. You need a garage fridge. It's a garbage to not have to have a girl.

No, to not have one. Yeah. In that refrigerator should be like sodas, ice pops, things like that. Beer. Kind of, kind of summer oriented items. The fuck are you talking about? Who's hanging out in the garage?

You don't hang out in the garage. That's where you store the excess supplies. Why don't you keep them in the regular garage? Your poor ass refrigerator you got in the kitchen. It is kind of trashy. It always, it's, it's, you never buy two garage. You never buy two fridges. It's always like an old garage fridge.

You never buy two fridges. It's always like an uncle's or like you find it on the curb. Trashy that we had to do it, but I know you guys had to do it too. You guys are filling up ice trays every two days and don't fucking act like you guys. Oh yeah. No, I had an ice maker dog.

Oh, you piece of shit. I had an ice maker and the water spout. Yeah. We were no money in the, in the early 80s, early, late 80s, early 90s. There was a little bit of cage. Yeah. But here's the thing.

Akash filling up ice trays is classy. The trashy thing is, if you've ever had a bag of ice in your refrigerator, when it wasn't a party, then you know you were fucking garbage. Well, you just had alcoholic parents. Yeah. They're like a dirty screwdriver,

fucking hacking at it. I want to go back to this. So your grandfather came here, came here first on your dad's side. Yeah. And then you're, so your dad was here. No, grandfather, my mom's side. Grandfather, your mom's side.

He was like trying to get the money up or whatever story he told us. And then when my mom got married, she was visiting and this is crazy. Actually, she was visiting India for like a finite amount of time. And they wanted to get her in a range marriage to my dad. But they had to decide in like two days,

my dad didn't even get to, he didn't even know he was getting married until the day of the wedding. Everything had to move so fast. Jesus. That it was like, yo, she's going back to America tomorrow or whatever. So we got to get married today.

So my dad is at another family member's wedding in another part of the state. And then he's like getting fitted for wedding clothes on the way there. In India or in America? In India. And then that's your life. So she's in India right now.

You guys are going to get married. You're both going to go to America. That's how it's going to work. Your life in India as you know it is over. It's done. But it worked out. They fell in love and they like each other and they're still together and all that.

They're still together. They like each other well enough. Yeah. That's fucking nuts. That's hardcore. Was there a big Indian community in Dallas when you were growing up there? There is now.

When I was, when I was there, they had like a group of friends that I grew up with that were all Indian. My dad told me back in the day when you would see another Indian, wherever you were, you would like stop what you were doing

and go talk to that person and try to make friends. Hey, over here. Over here. Let's get going. Straight up. Like, oh my God, where are you from? Oh my God.

Like imagine being American and then moving a fucking, I don't even know, Antarctica essentially, because that's what it was like in the 70s, 80s. But like, when you saw an American speaking in English, you'd be like, holy shit,

what's going on? Who are you? Let's be friends. So they made a circle of friends that's still from their friends this day. And then all the kids became friends. There you go. All those friends like that.

And then that's, that's the community I grew up in. All right. This is going to be interesting. I want to find out. Here we go. It's still a little fucking R U garbage. It could be R U garbage

or where you just raised with immigrant parents or something like that. We have to have, we have to add an extra to the name of the name of it. I'm saying Akash's mom ran a, ran a tight clean household and there was no garbage in it. Oh, she's incredibly clean.

Yeah. I want to go over some basics though. Was it, was mayonnaise allowed in the house? Did you have mayonnaise? Mayonnaise is allowed in the house. Not often. Like we didn't eat it a lot,

but it was there. All right. So was it Hellman's mayonnaise? Hellman. It was a miracle way. You know, bitches, Hellman's mayonnaise. That's fucking cool.

Yeah, okay. Bringing that, bringing that pussy generic shit to fucking the, the seeing house. Oh, what are you fucking, what are you nuts, Foley? I see.

Hey, I was rooting for Hellman's. I just, I got to ask the questions. We got to be thorough. One way to make mayonnaise gayer and that is a miracle. Yeah. That's the blow on it.

Come on. Grow up. All right. Growing up, were you guys at Domino's or Pizza Hut family? Oh, we were both.

I was Domino's. My dad was Domino's. We went Pizza Hut and then we transitioned to Domino's and I always fought hard for Domino's. And then I remember they came out with commercials

a year later. They were like, we know our pizza sucks. Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's like,

come on, dude, I was in your fuck. I was riding with you and then you pulled that fucking shit. Yeah. I was like, go to Pizza Hut.

We used to sit in the pizzeria when I was a kid. Yeah. Well, that's why I always thought that I always thought Domino's was like new flashy. I thought it was like for like,

I don't know. I thought Pizza Hut was more like classic and elegant. Not that it was elegant, but like you could go and sit down, get a big, get a big sprite

and a red and that red fucking cup with the crushed ice. Same glass. Like it was a church. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. That's what I'm saying.

You walked in there. It was fucking nice. It was garbage, yeah, the red cups, the crushed ice. It was the fucking buffet sticking out.

That was like an actual fucking restaurant for a little while. Yeah. I didn't have CCs. Did y'all have CCs? Nah. You're trash. That's trash,

yo. And we used to get a buffet. Dude, the pizza's already shitty enough and now it's a buffet. A dessert pizza? You got a dessert pizza on the menu?

You're fucking trash. I'm in. Bavarian cream pizza? I'll have the Bavarian cream pizza right now, dog. Bavarian cream pizza? Yeah. It's just a pizza crust

with Bavarian cream on top and they got cinnamon roll pizza. Oh, that's fucking garbage. That is the trashiest shit I've ever heard in my life, dude. Oh, I defy you. It used to be a $1.69 with a drink,

all you can eat. And they raised it to $2.99 without a drink and I was like, are y'all crazy? Is this highway robbery? Right now. Jesus Christ,

the buffet was $2.69? $1.69 for kids. That was a kid. So this is also like $20. Yo, I'm sure cutting some fucking safety corners. So hidden. Forks and knives in the pizza.

Dude, that's, I thought Domino's was bad. Domino's is like a crack house because you don't, you can't sit in there. You just got to go top and fucking go home

and get high at your house. Yeah. There was never anywhere to sit. 15 to 20, 25% of the restaurants in Texas are all you can eat buffets. Really? Yes,

a golden corral, domino, I mean, Dolan corral, cc's, pizza in, small enough town. Yeah.

Pizza buffet was all right though. Pizza buffet was classic. On shows, there was a Mexican buffet. It's just, there's buffets everywhere. I always talk about the buffet at Wendy's. I don't know if you guys

are too young to remember that. Do you remember the buffet at Wendy's? Now Wendy's is too dirty inside. It's too greasy. Nah, this, this buffet was, they had spaghetti.

They used to make garlic bread out of the old buns and they had a killer salad bar. I'm telling you, they have like a Mexican station up in the Italian station. A Mexican salad full. We stop it.

Yeah. What do you mean? You can't get any more croutons from the salad bar. That's the only reason he was going, he's going, you got any more cards than the salad bar?

You fucking, I like salad, but I'm talking about a fucking 80s fast food buffet salad bar. So it was carbon and ranch dressing. They would shredded cheddar cheese all over it and a slap of chocolate pudding in the fucking corner.

Fair enough. Yeah. Come on. Now, being a Dallas kid, are you, are you, what are you,

Dr Pepper or Mr. Pibbs? Dr Pepper, is my Mr. Pibbs is fucking almost said that word. Yeah. This ain't flagrant too. All right. I can't stay in the heat.

I'm not Chelsea. I can't take the heat. Yeah. This is on Disney Plus. Don't fucking screw us over here. Fuck out of here, Mr. Pibbs. I just asked.

I wasn't sure. I hear, here's a garbage question. Where, where do they even sell Mr. Pibbs? Gay places. Deep south. I mean,

it's a deep south. Fire Island. I've never even, I've never even seen it anywhere. Mr. Pibbs. You better believe if I was in elementary school and I went over your house

and you gave me a fucking Mr. Pibb. I was flipping the table and walking the fuck out. Get out of here with that bullshit. I like it, but it's definitely

from the most racist parts of the deep south. If you're ever in a small town, you see somebody with a can of fucking Dr. Pibbs, get back in the car and lock him up.

That's fucking, bad to get dicey. Yeah. They think Dr. Pibb, Dr Pepper pretentious. Do you refer to it as soda or pop? I think soda.

Now that I'm in New York, but in the south, you call it all Coke. You say, hey man, give me a Coke. They say, what kind? No way. Dr Pepper or Sprite or whatever.

That's real trashy. I thought pop was bad. Ever hear somebody say pop? Pop is vocal. It sounds so kitty is coming out of someone. Yeah. That's Midwest shit.

That's like, you've never wore shoes before. It's fucking, get me a pop. Get the fuck out of here. It's like, and it's also like, how the fuck did like,

how, how is it going on to where like, soda hasn't penetrated? It's soda everywhere else in the fucking world, except like three states in the Midwest. How has it not gone through

your fucking idiot head to start calling it soda? When I hear pop, I see like a 12 year old in a diaper, like walking into the kitchen with no shirt on. I'm like,

God, some pop please. So do the low pretentious now that I think about it. Like add in the whole extra syllable, but it's better. For soda? Pop is just,

I don't even know how you get fucking full. Pop is trash, man. Pop is trash. Pop is RC. Coca Cola. Yeah. Which ain't that bad

in a pinch. Did you, did you, fully speaking on the mic a little bit more, but did you, did you guys, did you ever do generic cereal

or was it, was it, you know, proper name brand cereal? I tried. So what was your go to cereal? I tried to do generic cereal. I didn't have a go to any, I was a fat kid.

So anything sugary, I was in for golden grand. You were a fat kid? I was a fat kid. Yeah. It's jumpy. One, two, one, 60.

I was a fat kid. I looked like a big chipmunk. Damn. I would have never seen that. Yeah. I was a fat kid. So I loved it. And I still love everything sugar

to this day. And my girl is in fantastic shape, but she loves every kid's cereal. So if you, if I showed you my cereal thing right now, there's cinnamon toast crunch. There's a bunch of votes

within that bed. There's lucky charms. I made her by crunch berries. I house that whole box. This kid's good. He's clean now, baby. That's clean living right there. That's a cabinet full of love

right there. And your mom was cool with this growing up. Did you want to get sugar cereal? He let me do it. I wanted. And then at some point, I think she realized I would

wise up and not want to be so fat. And that's what happens. Yeah. But she was the one going to the store. So she would, she would, she would let you get that stuff at the store.

Yeah. Maybe me a lot. She spoiled me. My dad. Thought I was a bitch and he was probably right. But my mom spoiled. Yeah.

I was the same way. It's a tale of two cities right there. You went fucking. You went real fluff to real hard in two seconds. She was great. She spoiled me rotten.

My dad thought I was a piece of shit. Probably wasn't wrong. And that's how I answer my phone calls. What about lunchables or lunchables on the menu? Sometimes, but they weren't good.

They were just trash. We tried to pretend they were good. I used to get jealous of the stupid suburb kids, the white kids with the fucking lunchables pizza. And then I bought them like a

few times to convince myself, but eventually I was like, man, this shit sucks. Yeah. They do suck. They are pretty flashy in the lunchroom. Yeah.

I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, they were pretty flashy in the lunchroom, though. I'll tell you that. Yeah.

It's a thing, you know what I mean? It's the one thing by name, you know what you just like, it's not just a, you have a generic ham sandwich, but if you got a fucking lunchable, that's a,

that's name brand right there. Lunchable is like how stupid are children that you think that's good. It's crackers and baloney. I know. The only thing that I did like in that realm was the

fucking, and we've talked about this before, the handy snacks. The handy snacks was the little thing of crackers with its own cheese that you would peel back with the red steak.

You had to go bread sticks. If you went cheese, if you went crackers, it was no fun, but the bread. Breadsticks were fucking good. I don't remember the bread

sticks. The breadsticks came out a little later, fella. You were probably older, but then they even went, I don't know, whoever thought of this needs a raise. They went pretzel sticks.

Oh, pretzel sticks in the cheese. They came out later in the day. Like I was an adult eating those being like, oh, these are fucking. I wish these came out in the

fucking early 90s. Well, they got the adult version of that, which is a sob with pretzels and hummus. Yes. Yes. Dude, I always think of the same thing.

Which isn't bad. Which isn't bad because they're the thin pretzels. They're like almost like pretzel skins. They're not too shabby. I like that. It's a good time.

All right. All right, all right. I'm getting the picture of a standard suburban childhood here. Regular suburban kid. Right. What does your, what does

your dad do for a living? What kind of work did he do? He worked for a company called Texas Instruments. Then he got laid off. Then he opened vitamin source GNCs, which is ironic because I was fat.

And then we lost them all. Then I was, then I lost weight. Wow. Probably from the specific one broke. I don't know. But the point is he, that's what we did.

And then my mom worked there for a while, but now she's an accountant at an oil company. And I'm, my dad does taxes. Very nice. All right. All right. I see a couple of dollar signs

floating around through there through the years. Yeah. Up and down. But yeah, for a little while we had money. That was the same with us. I was like, yo, we are on top

of the world. Oh, shit. They're taking the car. Yeah. That's what it was. Yeah. I came back from college one weekend and saw a first sale

sign at the house. And I was like, you're real. Oh, shit. Dude, I had the same fucking thing. My dad's like, I'm just seeing what we can get for it. And I'm like, I think the bank's

taking it, buddy. I don't know what you're talking about. Oh my God. By the way, if bank America calls my name's Larry. All right, bro. Yeah.

Dan today. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Dan. Dan died a couple of weeks ago. Tell him that. Don't call me dad in front of people with people with suits on. All right. Growing up.

All right. Go ahead, KB, please. Did you have a power wheels growing up? No, man. I wanted one like a motherfucker but I didn't get one. I had a used.

That's how trash. That's garbage. I used red Jeep. Yeah. I had a used power wheel. That was a lease. Didn't tell you nothing. You had a power wheels.

Dude, power wheels are fucking hot. Shit. It was a real, it was a real catch 22. If you got one fresh, you were a fucking prick. You're fried. Any of my friends that got one, I secretly files.

I go, hope he fucking gets drunk and drives it off a fucking bridge. That's how garbage you are. You and the other five year olds are drinking. Do I'm driving power wheels? I mean, it's pulled over with coconut car and son of a bitch. He's got a power wheel.

No, that. But if you got one second hand, man, because my family, like where my generation is them having kids, there was finally enough loot going around where somebody could get one second hand. Oh, there's real, you see a little blonde headed kid riding around

and like a faded pink Jeep. I had a faded red Jeep, dude. It was fucking, mine was like weathered. It's definitely, they should have run a car fax on that fucking thing. It was definitely in a couple of accidents. Missed a headlight.

Having a power wheels at age five is like having a Maybach now. Yeah, dude. That's why I'm fucking upset at the kids now. Like you could just get like a Jeep or like, that was really it. You could really only get the power wheels. It was just like a truck or a Jeep. Now they get like escalades.

Like my nieces and nephews have like fucking escalades and Corvettes and shit. I'm like, you know, you fucking new money motherfucker. I think I've seen a Homer. I think one of my, like this kid has a, as a Homer,

has been filed to me. I've seen that. Take that to the Tyson, if you're a fight, if I can pull up and style one of those things. Did any of your friends growing up or did you have a backyard that was on a slant? I did.

Wait, your, your family or your friends? We built a fence so that the slant would go away. Like we, we like built this fence like in order to about seven, eight feet, 10 feet, 12 feet, whatever it was. And then the slant was outside the fence,

and we did have, it was like a, what do you call it? Like a taff of trapezoid or whatever. Great. And then dropped off a cliff. That's pretty garbage because that's the cheapest house in the neighborhood. You get your parents are looking for a good looking to shape a couple of bucks at settlement.

That way our house was the steepest. Like I had a bunch of micro rollerblades. It was like a fucking amusement park going down that thing. Yeah, you go to your driveway. It's tough too. Oh man, a steep driveway. You go to your buddy's house. Hey, you want to see the backyard will play.

You're out there like in moon raker fucking You're like, what the fuck is this? You got to throw the e-brake on in the driveway. That's no good. That and the people in the neighborhood who live near the recession pond or whatever it is, you know what I'm talking about? We're like, we're like, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. We live near a creek sound. You were struggling. You're on the outskirts of town. If you buy it correct. I lived in a townhouse community for the first four years. We moved to the suburbs of Philly that had a creek running through it. Did you play in the creek?

Oh my, I look back on times during like huge storms where like the creek would be all swelled up. The water would be rushing and we were in that thing playing around like, like we were in a fucking swimming pool in the middle of July. Just like, what the fuck? You could have been swept away. Yeah. And God knows where the water was coming from.

You are pure trash. Yeah. If you're swimming in temporary, temporary bodies of water, that's fucking garbage. Unadulterated pure trash. Oh, the catching crayfish down there. Oh, dude. Stay away from the sewer grade.

It'll suck in, Foley. Fucking Philadelphia crayfish. Jesus. Garbage. Dude, I'm so like, Foley's even like, they're even more from the like his side of the town. They're like kind of, they have a twang of mountain people in them. So that's like real garbage.

My family was like from poor in the city and then got a couple of bucks and my dad was able to get out in the suburbs. Well, he's coming from the other way. He's getting closer to civilization. It's born in mountain top PA. Yeah. No senators coming out of there. I'll tell you that much.

Got hit with a porcupine when I was five years old. A lot of Trump signs in mountain top PA. Oh, yeah. Little dicey. All right. I can't be. You're, I think you're, I think you're about the same age.

You're right. You're early thirties. 36 on Monday. At any point in your life. Did you own a pager? I did. Why? Why?

And I'll tell you what, if I look back on it, it really lets me know how friendless I was. No one ever fucking. You're paging yourself. Oh, that could be. I wanted my mom to page me all the time. Dude.

Oh man. There's nothing, nothing worse than a quiet pager. You're just sitting there. You can't play no fucking games on it. Can't play snake on it. That shit is a decorative piece. You look cool.

I was. I can't believe I did that. I can't believe my mom did that for me. That's how spoiled I was. She let me have a pager for like three months. And then she was finally like, nobody is ever calling you. I know man.

I wanted, I had the same thing. I had the same thing. I had the same thing. I had the same thing. I had the same thing. I had the same thing. I know man.

I wanted the same thing. I had one. No one. My dad would call my friend's house like looking for me, you know, and be like, fucking page me dad. What the fuck?

You know what I mean? Like a real piece of shit. How old were you when you guys were rocking these young teams? Yeah. I remember calling. I remember calling dealers on pagers. I never had one on my own. I was too innocent for all that and the idea that drug dealers use

those. I didn't even understand why. Sure. Yeah. I remember calling them. I remember calling them. I mean, I knew Polly was also.

That's cute. Polly was also in 22 page and people. That's for sure. For fucking cookie. She had a little different. He wasn't 13 looking for a dying bag. He was. He was fucking.

He was, he was beeping Pablo and the fucking Bronx. We were getting into the hard stuff back then. I can't lie. What about lawn decorations? No lawn decorations. No lawn decorations. Swimming pool.

And now swimming pool. I thought I wanted one. And now my dad not wanting one. I understand so much. Why? He doesn't want one. He was always just like, no, it's a waste of money. Yeah.

Maintain it all year. You're not going to go swimming as often as you think you are. I'm not doing that. Even when we had money, when we built a big house that we, the one that we ended up selling, he put that money in toward like a media room, which was great.

Oh, that's a fucking. Use that all the time. Yeah. Dude, anything called a media room is classy. It was incredible. You first saw those on MTV Cribs in the early 2000s. Like this is the media room. You're like, what the fuck?

I don't know. You can get bamboozled at a shitty hotel when you go to their business center though. And it's just fucking like an old Dell and a fucking printer. That doesn't print in color. Yeah. Yeah. No, this was a legit ass.

I mean, we didn't have like the movie theater setup or whatever. We just had a couch on the TV, but it's like 138 inch of the projector. And then I was watching golden girls with my mom, like a fucking. That's pretty classy. Your mom was a fan of golden girls. Oh, we both are fans of golden girls.

I love it. It's good writing. It's good quick. Yeah. As someone who's in the biz, we get it. Yeah. Sophia. Beast.

Rose. Beast. What was the big bitch? Beach. Blanche. Blanche. Be Arthur was the actor that played or be Arthur was fucking legit.

Side side note about that in, I live in Washington Heights and they opened up a golden girls cafe. I like 190th and Broadway and the Dominicans are like, what the fuck is this? And they got, they've only, they only hear God, like they shut down because they got three customers the whole time.

Yeah. There's no way they give a fuck out. It's just horrible business. Yeah. Downtown where it's ironic. Yeah. No, dude, they did it past the George Washington bridge and like where it's like people barely speak English.

You got to do that shit down in Miami. I know. Get a cry. Miami be a good move. Miami be nice. A big Miami fan. Yeah. All right.

Do you guys ever eat off TV trays growing up? No. No. Excellent. Yeah. It's trash. All right. Did you ever own a pair of LA lights?

I did not. I wanted a pair, but I didn't ever get them. Anybody wearing LA gear around the house? Oh, I used to love LA gear. I used to love LA gear. I'd go to pay less kids and LA gears, but the lights, I think I tried to pretend I didn't think they were cool, but Loki, I thought they were so cool.

Yeah. They were a hot ticket item when those things dropped. Those things were tight. Kippy, you got them? Yeah, man. I got them. I wanted them so bad and like they were like sold out. Like you couldn't get them fucking anywhere.

I remember my dad went to like a couple of malls and then we finally found a pair. I don't know. Let's say I was like a size five. They were a size like two and like I fucking squeeze my foot and I'm like, oh, it fits. It fits just so I could buy it. My dad's like, I'm not wasting my fucking money on this.

These clearly don't fit. But I ended up getting them at some point. British Knights, they were hot for like a year or two. Yeah. DK Knights were fucking tight. Yeah. You guys might be too old for this, but were either one of you guys zipping around with the

sneaks with wheels on them? I always thought that was trash. Nah, the Healies. They came out later, but they were fucking. It's like to get a pair of rollerblades. Be a man. You know what I mean? Yeah.

Akash, you ever get a haircut from your mom? No, I honestly would have been down though. I would have been into it. Really? Does anyone pay money I was into as a kid? Did you ever cut your mom's hair? No. I'm not gay.

I'm not gay. All right. What was your first car and did it have a CD player in it? My first car was I bought from my dad. It was a 1993 Honda Civic hatchback. Nice. Love it to this day. Yeah.

That's a fucking legit whip right there. I would buy that exact car if I had unlimited money. Wifey would lose her mind, but I want a stick shift, a little SI, a little speed thing. I fucking loved it. Did it have a CD player? It did have a CD player. They got stolen twice, I think in LA.

Yeah. CD player back in the day was fucking nice. The hatchback would be considered garbage, but I used to lie that two hatchbacks growing up and I fucking loved them. Not a big hatchback these days. I almost liked it because I knew it looked goofy as a high schooler, but now I'm like,

yo, I'm 36 and I'm like, there's so much utility. It's functional. It's very functional. It's mad functional, yeah. This is how garbage might, whatever, step grandfather, somebody in my family. Step grandfather, garbage. Garbage.

Garbage. Step grandfather. It's tough. It's tough. He froze up there. Garbage. You got to be to have a step grandfather. I also, I also did all one up and I have an X step mom.

How about that? Try that one on for size. But he took a mini van and just took all the seats out of the back. So it was like a, it was like an indoor. Oh, we're partying. And it was like an indoor, like an enclosed pickup truck. And he would just like put you in there.

I'm like, that's pretty smart, trashy, but smart. I have one of those indoor pools that the kids just hang out. I mean, it's perfect. All right. Fully. You got one. Yeah. I'm curious to know, I don't have one specific,

but where was the garbage place to go on a family vacation? Would you guys go on family vacations? No, I think we're too garbage for family vacations. So in the summer, you guys never went anywhere. Where would, where would like to trashy Dallas families go on a shitty vacation? Not a good one. Probably like one of the lakes in the area.

There's like a lake where Robert's like all these little manmade lakes. You probably just go to one of them like Texoma, which is between Texas and Oklahoma is probably one of those spots. Manmade lakes. We have those. Yeah.

Oh, that's garbage. That's a lot of man made. Well, it's not like just sitting there with a hose to fill it up. Like they divert water from a river. You idiot. They take a bucket and they just, Ernie, get the bucket. We got folks coming in for vacation.

Yeah. Anytime you, anytime we just like a pontoon boat on a lake is fucking trash. If you're tying boats together to drink beers, it's fucking garbage. Yeah. So that was never you. No, no, no, no.

We also, I think that was just Indian. Like we didn't do family. We didn't have family vacations as a thing. Yeah. I don't think, I don't think there's a large, Indian population buying pontoon boats. Okay. Did you have a super soaker growing up?

If so, what size? A 50. I only had the 50. I had a friend that had the 100 and that guy would normally had the 25. I think I had the 25 with the regular, the regular regular standard, John. Yeah.

Yeah. But the hundreds boy. That was what you were a king. They were having one of those running around, running around the neighborhood fucking squirting people parents. Planking them. Where it was like tight. You couldn't go any further.

You know, the handle would get tight. Fucking 11. I did have the, I had the backpack one I got for like a birthday. What? I never, I never fucking. This fucking rich kid, man. Fucking power wheels and backpacks. You had a good childhood.

Yeah, you had a good, I didn't man. This is fucking bullshit. Dude, it never worked. I would run around with the 50 or whatever, the 25. The backpack never worked to this day. And it's still, it bothers me every time I think about it, it bothers me. If we wanted some shit like that when I was a kid,

a fucking power wheel or a fucking squirt down with a backpack, you had a wind double there. That was the only way. Fucking way you were getting that shit. You had to compete. Go before the fucking throne. I'll buy a SPF 100 right now. I'm going to get tempted to look them up online.

Dude, I'm sure you can get, you can probably get one, you know, cheap. What do I got? Did you guys, would you guys celebrate Christmas? Would you do anything like that? We would give gifts, but that's it. And then my dad bought an official tree one year. And I think he used this shit for like four years and there was nothing left by the fourth year.

And we put up the sorryest lights you've ever seen, like one spring of lights that wasn't even like, you know, and they're like kind of like nailed in beautifully to the roof. My dad just had his shit just dangling up and down like a fucking. I don't even know, man. Just to try to fit in a little bit, keep the eyes off the house. Just to tell everybody you're not Jewish. You know what I mean?

Hey, keep it moving. One of the good ones, guys, don't worry. I want you getting confused out there. We're Indian, not Jewish. See you later. Have a good one. That's funny, dude. You can always tell the fat in the house on the block that really didn't give a fuck.

It was just like this one guy would just take his string and throw it over a tree and they would just dangle one time. And he told everybody they were candy canes and he made those every year. That is the fucking trash. Our Christmas said it was pure trash. Yeah. Christmas is a fucking dead giveaway, man.

Fucking colored light shitty tree fucked up ornaments. Yeah. Our whole thing was garbage. All right. I think you got one or two more here. Were you a Sega Genesis or Super Nintendo kid growing up? I was Sega Genesis to be different. Yeah.

Yeah. I was a big fucking Sega guy. I was a Dreamcast guy. Really? What a Dreamcast. What was that? My Nintendo 64 and got like a hundred bucks. But I loved it.

Is that the thing that was squared? It was a cube or something like that? You had the remote with a little display in it. Yeah, it was white, right? Yeah, but everybody was so excited about PlayStation 2 because it had a DVD player that nobody fucked with Dreamcast. Nobody? Yeah.

It came out what I guess between PlayStation 1 and 2? Yes. Yeah. Criminally underrated. Yeah. I never fucked with it. My one buddy had it. He would try to push it on us.

He'd be like, oh, Dreamcast is cool. Like, dude, get the fuck out of here with that shit. Let's play some fucking PlayStation. Yeah. Everybody was just, I remember everybody being like, PlayStation 2 has a DVD player. And that at the time was like the hot shit, like that idea blew our minds.

Yeah, of course. Yeah. It was the Wild West for a little while with game consoles. Told it all to even that. I hate it when there was like too many of them. You're like, what's this? What's that? Yeah.

It looks like a period. After that, they're like, look, we'll just make games. Yeah. Did you ever have a TV with a VCR built into it? No, I actually wanted one for myself. I wanted my own TV. Yeah. I had a VCR built in.

That would have been nice. I remember my sister came home from college with one of those. I was like, what in the fuck? What are you? Where do you go to school? NASA? What the fuck's going on with this? Are you from the future?

I'm like, yo, put that down on the TV room, baby. Let's get a crack in inviting some friends over. Yeah. Those things were used for one thing and one thing only pornography. That was a fucking mobile whacking unit right there. The original iPhone. That's right. Take that thing into the bathroom.

Run this. Turn the shower on and get cranking. I just got two. I just got two final questions here. You just do them in order. One, did you ever have a beanbag chair? No, man. I had meet the people with a beanbag chair and looking back.

It was the stupidest fucking chair in the history of the world. It was uncomfortable. Nothing about it was fun. It was garbage all the way. Especially as a fat kid. They're not easy to get out of. Oh, yeah. You got to really, you got to make sure everybody leaves the room and you

like, yeah, I'll be there in a second. You got to really fucking barrel roll out of there. Oh man. Get out of here. Yeah, that's tough. My final question. I'm sure it's going to be, you know, but you didn't have a race car bed growing up when you were a kid.

I wish I had a fucking race car bed dog. I'll get my son. That's why you're garbage. I'm fucking loving it. I want it. One, two, so fucking bad. I will get my son a race car bed. Fuck yeah.

Why were they so cool? They were. I mean, but the second I saw one of them, I'm like, never in a million years will I get that race car. What's not cool about it? You gave me a king size race car bed. I'd do that right now. I know, man.

I fuck it. Well, I'm sure I don't know why some company hasn't came up with them yet because they came out when our generation was coming up. So like everybody would fucking have them. Yeah. That's a good point. They need that king size, temper, pated race car bed. Oh, that'd be sweet.

You know what else was really sweet as a kid? The bed is the bunk beds that like crossed. You know what I mean? There was one, one, one way. And then the lower one went the other way. I didn't even know that existed. I was clean living. I remember shopping for, for, for bunk beds.

We went bunk bed shopping because we were thinking about your downsizing. No, it was me and my brother, my parents. And I remember just knowing because you see some fucking bunk beds. You're like, oh, that's fucking trash. You just knew you're like, we're moving into a whole new level of garbage here. You get bunk beds. I thought bunk beds were the coolest thing in the world to the point that I convinced my friend to convince his dad.

If he got all A's, he could get a bunk bed. And I didn't realize you're just sleeping on a shit of your bed and having fun. Yeah. A way, a way shit of your bed. That's a little dangerous to be honest. The bed chair of beds. It is. And you see it on TV and you think it's amazing, but then you're on it.

And you're like, it sucks. Yeah. Especially in the summer when you're fucking two feet, when you're two inches away from the ceiling and it's fucking hot as shit up there. Yeah. Oh my God. Good stuff. I got a thing.

I got to say this kid's clean. No garbage here, baby. I'm calling it a draw. I don't know. I can't. I mean, he's got a couple of blemishes, but I mean, you know, he's got the cinnamon toast crunch on hand right now. That's a fucking, that's an A plus move right there.

So that's pretty classy. The sugar syrup collection really, really puts some fucking points up. But I've hit it well enough. Yeah. He's pretty good. Pretty clean, pretty clean. I love it. Buddy, is there anything you want anybody to know out there?

What you got going on or anything? No, man, you want to check out my podcast flagrant to have gone to check out my YouTube page. The spelling on my name is here. You can just type that into YouTube, same with IG, Twitter, whatever. Check it all out. I'm gay. I love it, buddy.

Thank you so much. Keep it. We got anything we got to tell him. Yeah. Just make sure you rate, review, subscribe on iTunes. Also full videos up on YouTube. You can subscribe there. We appreciate it.

And if you want to see more of our new garbage on Instagram, at H Foley on ice on Twitter and at Foley grams on Instagram for me. Again, like Kevin said, thank you guys so much. I appreciate you guys being with us. We'll be back next week. Akash. You are the man. We appreciate it, buddy.

Thank you so much. Yeah. See you buddy.