Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Ali Siddiq Returns!
Episode Date: May 16, 2024Are You Garbage presents stand up comedian Ali Siddiq! You know Ali from This is Not Happening, The Joe Rogan Experience, Bertcast w/ Bert Kreischer, and comedy specials like "It's Bigger Than These B...ars" and "The Domino Effect", check out part 3 OUT NOW! Thanks for watching Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast! Through the Roof Tour: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/hfoleycomedy/ Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Mack Weldon: https://mackweldon.com/ Promo Code: Garbage Mint Mobile: https://www.MintMobile.com/GARBAGE Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage?
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash.
Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast.
This is Are you garbage?
It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find it at the group to be classy
Yeah, just a big old piece of trash. I'm your host H Foley coming at you on a beautiful day
We're out back here at Tooties in the new edition. She's been working with the local Little League team
Okay, good for her selling their equipment
Beautiful sports equipment out in the garage if anybody's looking for some helmets or whatever you need,
my co-host is coming at you from right next to me.
I kind of got him this week.
He is the CEO of RU Garbage.
He is an international businessman, and he has led us to the promised land.
Did the K-Man do it or did the K-Man do it?
Give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan, everybody.
What up, gang? Thanks for tuning in.
As always, please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes.
Full video available on YouTube
as you know those numbers are
true to rip cooking.
That my favorite website of all
time www.patreon.com
slash are you garbage go over
there. It's a goddamn party gang.
How about a nice shout out to our
producer extraordinaire.
The old magic man makes us all
look good works the ones the
twos the threes and the fours.
He crosses the T's and he
dots the I's give it up for T
bone. Mcscruffins Toby
McMullen everybody. What up boys? Hey pal. I'm the T's and he dots the I's. Give it up for T-Bone McScruffins. Toby McMullen, everybody. What up, boys? Hey, pal. I'm Stoke. We got one
of the best in the biz in here, man. One of my all-time faves. Man, he came to our show
in Nashville and I haven't been nervous like that. Oh, man. He was sitting in the back
in the shadows like a mob boss, dude. Petrified everybody in the room. Man. The last thing
I needed with the pressure on it. He can change the energy
Gucci sweatsuit man. I was a near baby looking for a cell phone charger
Gang a long hair ain't lying cuz you couldn't be more excited ever incredibly and I mean incredibly special guests back with us again today
He is one of the funniest one of the most prolific standard comedians working today. He has a brand new special out right now, the Domino Effect 3 on his
YouTube page and he's also on tour. I got a story to tell story. You can get tickets
at AliSedik.com. Give it up for Ali Sedeik.
Thank you all for having me. Phenomenal show.
Thank you man.
Phenomenal show. I had a great time.
It was like Belichick walked in the room.
And when you when you popped into that green room, I was like, fuck.
I do. They were like, someone's outside and wants to come in.
And I'm like, all right, well, who is it?
And they were like, oh, Lisa, because I clean this place up.
Will you get these empty beer bottles?
Got a goddamn legend coming in here scraping pizza boxes under the couch.
It is. It's a weird thing that most audience people,
I don't, they don't know who I am at all.
Like, you know, I sell tickets to who I sell tickets to,
but comedian.
I never thought I'd become a comedian's comedian.
It's the weird, it's the weird,
and it's like, I wish it was like not everybody.
It's like when people see me,
because I guess because I don't be out much.
Sure.
So, I'm at the, I'm at the Rose, the Tom Brady Rose.
And I'm not on the show.
I'm just sitting in the audience
and comments are coming up to me.
Hey, listen, Ali, I just want to just,
I'm like, what is wrong comments are coming up to me.
Hey, um listen, Ali, I just
wanted to just, I'm like, what
is wrong with you? Like a
god damn patron right now. A
Zim, if you don't stand up.
And and Kevin was walking. Um
and he's he's getting ready to
do something and he took a
double take. He's like, yo, wait, I think what's going on, baby?
So, man, I'm I'm going to. And you got that presence.
You do. You do.
If Kevin wasn't enough,
I'm getting ready to go into the after party at the forum,
which I know I just wanted to go in and see what Maddie Johnson was doing.
His thing.
But this is this is for the forum.
So I'm walking in and this is the this is the craziest thing
that ever happened.
Chappelle is coming in at the same time.
All these people trying to talk to him and he stops
and says, Ali, you come into Cincinnati.
You come into the town. Call me. and says, Ali, you coming to Cincinnati,
you coming to the TAF, call me, I would like to come if I'm in town.
Wow.
And I'm sitting there like,
he knows that I'm coming to the TAF.
Yeah, he knows your schedule, that's crazy.
My schedule?
Who you been talking to?
And I was like, I don't have your number,
he's like, will you take my phone, put this on my phone, like, I don't have your number.
He's like, will you go take my phone,
put his number on my phone?
Like, okay.
Then I walk over and Sam, Jay like, Ali, what's up?
Like, Chappelle just put his number in my phone.
Dude, I would have been like, I'm leaving this party.
It's all down over here.
Get out on a high note.
Well, the last time you were here, you were talking about,
you were like, I love going to see when comics are in town
Or whatever and you're there you like I like poppin by we told I told you you can come but you're not getting
So he walked in and everybody's like and then you're like, oh you went like out to the bar sat upstairs
Or whatever you're like, you see everybody's like is he going up I go he is not a fucking
He can close out the show if he wants.
After we're done, he can go.
All of a sudden the lights are off.
They got a spotlight.
I'm like, where the hell they got a spotlight in here?
Man, I was in, I was telling you,
cause it's, I am true to everything that I've ever said
is gonna come to light in a person's life.
If I've told it to him, like just like coming here
and walking down the street, this guy has his bags,
and he was like, oh shit,
how they speak.
I'm like, yo, what's up?
Yo man, I gotta take a picture, man.
My girl put me on you, and I ain't stop laughing since,
the boo boo boo, and he's saying all this stuff.
And then we get ready,
we took the picture, get ready,
and he said, yo, and you fucking do be by yourself.
They are like, yo, I step by myself all the time.
We had when you were there, we had eyes on you like you were
the goddamn president.
We were like, where's he at now?
What's he doing?
Is he still here?
Yeah, yeah.
You move with a nice present. We were like, where's he at now? What's he doing? Is he still here? Is he still here? Yeah, it was, yeah.
You moved with a nice present, a good present.
Man, the line of, I was waiting to speak to you guys.
It was just impossible.
The merchandise line was so long.
I was like, yo, is this another show?
I was like, I don't sell merchandise like this.
You go to people's shows, you just jealous and shit. I'm like, no, they selling't sell merchandise like this. Like, cause you go to people's shows,
you just jealous and shit.
I'm like, no, they selling it right now.
It's amazing.
I see, I see that it happens.
Why do I have so much storage?
I have a storage space in Houston.
I have all the merchandise I've ever printed up
is still with me.
We have a lot of Mrs. as well.
We got a lot of shit.
We got plenty of koozies if you all want.
Beer koozies if you want that.
Well I saw y'all hit real hard.
I'm like, yo man, and I'm sitting there taking notes.
So they got the dude and then the table's on stage.
You know something, this is some good stuff.
Man, I can mimic this.
It was great to see you man.
Such a joy, such a very cool and honored that you came and watch the show.
Thank you. It was a great time. I had a really really great time. You guys are very funny. Thank you.
Very entertaining. I was like man and I've been to other people's shows and I hang out in the green room a lot. Mm-hmm. Yeah. If I'm not in the showroom, I'll just let you know.
There's some guys out there right now going, fuck.
If I'm, and this is when I used to feature a host,
and I hate his one, he's my mentor, so he figured it out.
And he was like, yo, people.
You dropped enough hints.
People would be on the road, I would be on the road with people and he was like,
yo, does Ali watch your show?
And he was like, no, by the way he doesn't.
And he was like, oh.
And he just, you know, whoop whoop.
Because if I like you, I'll watch your show on the last day.
Sure.
I'm not going to watch you the whole weekend.
I'm going to watch you on the last day.
But if I don't like your show,
like I'm never going to watch it.
Yeah, it's tough.
Because I don't want to have an opinion.
That's good. Yeah, yeah.
I've made my opinion.
And then because some people and it's not that they show is bad. Because I don't want to have an opinion. That's good. Yeah, yeah. I've made my opinion.
And then, because some people, and it's not that they show us bad.
I don't ever say a comic show is bad.
It may be underdeveloped.
It may be...
It's a very nice way to put it.
If I ever tell you this...
I got a lot of underdeveloped material.
Yeah, me too.
You also saw us on the second night of the tour, so I'm like, I hope this material can stand up.
Yeah.
It was very, I enjoyed myself.
That's why I stayed.
Thank you.
I stayed all the way through from beginning to end.
So it's a different between me saying
that you left Meat on the Bone versus saying
that your show is underdeveloped.
Because I say yo man, if I come and say hey man with that particular story you left a
lot of meat on the bone and let me give you, I'm not gonna give you the words I'm gonna
just say what about this right here.
The thought process.
What about this?
You left so much.
And now you have, once you think about think about now you have five more minutes on
That because you took a left when you got in there
No, so because sometimes you you're right something and it's just tunneled on what you're trying to get to when it was so much
On the side yeah to still get to that point
But you can still take some time over here
but you can still take some time over here. Man, I feel like I stink now.
If you told that to me, I'd be in a hotel room going,
meat on the bone.
That was a 30 second bit I did.
How'd I miss all that meat?
You're like, yo, you can get to a minute.
You let me get to a minute.
You want 30 seconds to laugh, you want 45 seconds to laugh,
and then 15 more seconds of laughs.
Alright, that's good stuff.
Buddy, we're glad to have you here.
Yeah, man.
Again, congrats.
Domino Effect 3 out on YouTube right now, already cooking.
You're on tour.
Last time we left, you were classy.
Yeah, you did come out classy.
You bought some land.
Yeah.
You got the Mrs. Do and Mary Kay, your garden. Oh man, let me tell you about the Mary classy. You bought some land. Yeah, you got the missus doing Mary Kay your garden
Oh, man, they're American. Let me tell you about the American. Did it turn around? It is definitely still a nonprofit
About merch around the other half of the storage
Bring it up noise like but what about this shirt right in it only I wear
It is like I can't even bring it up. No, it's like, but what about this shirt right in it? Only I wear.
It is.
I've I've increased a little bit.
I bought another home and I'm turning this into a bistro.
A really? Yeah, because when you last time you were here, you were just bought in
some acres that you were going to build the house on.
Yeah. And that turned into one of just grow food. Okay, so food
Yeah, so now at the bistro we've taken this land is where it's 5800 square feet
Okay, all the like we don't get huge. We don't we don't have
Shrubbery night people put shrubbery and rose out there. We put all food. Okay. Wow. Blueberries, figs, strawberries, purple
hull peas, apples, pears, oranges, limes, lemons, grapes. We don't, the whole, we gonna
put everything out there. So the chef that's cooking in the bistro come out and get. Just
grab it. From the table. Yeah. So right there. And it's a place where you can also stay. Oh, really? I mean, who's classier than this guy?
A little bed and breakfast. Say you guys come to town, you don't want to stay at a hotel
and you want to have private chef. It's a two-bedroom.
Damn. Oh, that's nice. Full bath in each room.
Huh. Half bath for dining guests. They never go into the bedrooms.
Use restroom.
Those are isolated places.
OK.
You stay there three meals a day.
When you don't make it back, the chef
will put your food in the warmer.
Full kitchen.
Who's idea?
Was this brought to you, or did you have this idea?
My idea.
Really?
Yeah. Was this brought to you or did you have this idea? My idea. Really?
And the crazy thing is when I asked the developer,
I said, listen, I want the rooms to be soundproof,
the way you can't hear.
Like when the chefs in the kitchen cooking,
the people who stay in it, they can't hear that.
OK.
They can't hear from the bedroom to bathroom back to each, because people who stay in it, they can't hear that. And they can't hear from bedroom to bathroom,
back to each, because it's back to back, right?
So, he's like, oh, we got a process for that.
The process, they do have one, and it is very expensive.
This is whatever the president pays.
Yo, they have a process.
And the process is, man.
Soundproofing will get you.
So we started doing it.
And I don't know if She Rock had, you know.
Maybe they can hear a little bit, all right?
If you're here a little bit.
And that's on beyond center place.
People are going to be checking into these rooms,
you're going to be clapping going, see that?
That's why it's 1,600 a a night. I saw soundproofing cash.
So when cars pass by,
so now the only thing left I have to do is the window.
The windows have to be a certain thickness of the glass
and it has to be doubled.
So somebody could be outside honking.
You can't hear.
So you can be dead asleep in there.
Can't hear the kitchen, can't hear anything.
And this is a, I'm like, I should've just not did this
process.
You know how when you watch the show, they're like,
well, this is gonna bring us over budget.
We are very over budget.
Yeah, we sure are.
This shit just got earplugs, man.
Man, I should've had my earplugs like in the Denver hotel.
They just hang out with earplugs. 10 cents a pop on them, dude. Man, I should've just put earplugs in, like in the Denver Hotel. They just hang out with earplugs.
10 cents a pop on them, dude.
I should just put them in every room,
just have a dispensary of them, just use them as will.
But this is, is it?
You can't hear the horn outside,
you're gonna miss your ride.
What do we do?
It's funny.
Wow.
It's a good concept.
That's amazing.
That's awesome, buddy.
In that world a little bit,
do you have a, when you travel, do you have a brand of hotel that you like to stay at?
Or do you just jump around kind of whatever?
I miss the old days where cheap was the brand.
You know, just any cheap spot.
But now, man, I am very uppity.
This is insane.
Man, I am so up across.
I like Marriott.
I like the fanciest joint.
Whatever is the like what I want to stay here.
I like to stay at the Western, right?
That's my my spot of choice.
But I had to settle for the W in Times Square. OK.
That's nice. You know what I get you is that.
What is it like white tea oil?
Whatever they put in the lobbies of nice hotels now
You feel fancy when you get in yeah, you know, that's different than cigarettes
So you want a room you can still smell the old continental breakfast from this morning somebody burnt the waffles
You know bougie, but you've earned it do you do the
If you put the do not disturb on the door immediately when you get in there
No, do you like the the room getting turned if you're there for multiple days?
You like the room getting turned down the next day every day day I want my room clean really you like when they like
they like fold your clothes and shit I don't like that
cuz I'm tipping though I'm leaving $20 in the room yeah you know a lot of people
don't tip the housekeeper man it's the person that's doing the most.
You know, you tipping the dude downstairs
with a bunch of luggage from outside to inside,
but you know, what about the lady who cleans the toilet?
It folds your dirty underwear.
Sure.
Yeah, I'm so like, cause man,
sometimes those toilets look like,
I walked in some of my friend's room,
like yo, you cooking pepper steak in your toilet?
Dude, that's room, like, yo, you cooking pepper steak in your toilet? You know what I'm saying?
Dude, that's me, man.
Yeah.
I'm like, nah!
He's like, you turned this into a truck stop.
That's buckshot.
I usually have to clean the room before I can leave
so it looks somewhat presentable.
Yeah.
I'll do that.
So like, because I'm embarrassed.
And sometimes I never do, I don't like them coming in,
but sometimes I forget to put it on the door.
So then they'll come into my room that's not great.
Like I got shit everywhere.
And then they'll clean it up for it.
I feel so embarrassed.
Oh man.
I'm gonna ask the question.
How long does it take for you to destroy this room?
He's probably pretty quick.
I'm pretty quick.
Yeah, I'm pretty quick.
Yeah, yeah.
It's something everywhere.
Out of man. It's shockingly because I just thought about that because we were
we were out in L.A. and I had been there for about a half an hour.
And I remember I had like laid down, took a nap and I woke up and I'm like, man,
how did you get this place?
Oh, how did this have socks everywhere?
I've used like five towels already.
Yeah, I was to my friends, bro. everywhere I've used like five towels already yeah I said yo I just want to
know did you walk in this room
we have been we checked in and early checking at30, I walked this room at 11.15. What happened?
I'm not even unpacked at 11.15.
That's me.
Well, you use the drawers and stuff or no?
Do you unpack?
Do you have a system?
I have a system of how my clothes are packed in my luggage.
So I know it's day by day. Like I don't have to, what I do is I take the clothes out
for the day and then when I leave them out
and then I just section it like that
and then I put everything right back in.
I know everything that's going to the cleaners.
My bag is set up pretty.
Do you leave the bag open like on the thing
or will you take your clothes out and then close it back and then put it away for the day?
What I do is I open it, but I keep it zipped.
Okay.
To where everything is still in there and I hang my jackets and stuff up.
Okay.
I bet you pull out t-shirts, see a single wrinkle and are like, how the fuck did that happen?
Yeah, I packed this well.
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details do it do it you bring the steamer with you you steam stuff in the
room they usually have an iron if they don't okay don't have a steam after
the can you iron do you know how to iron good really yeah man I couldn't he does
he uses the iron he uses the ironing board as a kitchen table. He sets it up next to the bed from getting something to eat
Eats on that genius sit on the end of the bed pretty gene. Yeah, and you can you can adjust it and lower it
If I'm thinking I want to stay for dipping
Now I don't know how to die I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it.
This is what you do.
Okay.
Take your clothes.
Put your pants on the hanger and clamp them in.
Take your shirt, put on another hanger.
Take it in the shower.
Right.
Adjust it out and just let the steam.
The hot water.
Just let the steam work.
Yeah.
I bring a steamer with me, but I ain't good with that either.
It looks like I was eating spaghetti.
I get spots all over it because the water like leaks out on it.
That takes like a half an hour to dry.
Yeah, you put it too close.
Yeah, too close and you're moving it too quick.
You got to. It's patience, baby.
It's like you're doing the curtains.
But don't feel bad.
Bert Bert came to my room to do his pocket.
I was in Tampa. He comes to my room to do his podcast.
I was in Tampa. He comes to my room and Burt walks in and says,
Ali, were you raised by a single mother?
I was like, yeah.
Why?
He said, cause your room is amazing.
Really spotless.
How long have you been here?
I said like four days.
Your room, he said, I've been, I just checked into my hotel.
And it looks like I've been squatting.
You know what I mean?
He's like, what?
He's like, he said, my shoes.
He's like, I know it because your shoes were in order.
Like when I take my shoes off, and then I have house shoes to walk around in the room
House shoes on the road with you. Yeah, they like little flat. Don't you just zip them in the bag?
Do you ever use the pool of the jacuzzi in a hotel where you walk down and use that no how we're big people
People I want I don't worry if I'm going down to the pool dude. It's crazy I don't wear my shoes you can't really get wet bare feet through a lobby so kid with dude. It's an insane scene
I've been sitting there eating breakfast, and he's come waddling
And there's like soccer teams from like mini Minneapolis like what the fuck
Using the amenities of the hotel man, and he doesn't move quick either. He's a slow he comes in like the tide
I see that man a lot. I'm like yo man
That's what I said it every time like you're obviously money ain't got no shoes on like no big man
Big man don't give a damn. He definitely put his hand in fruit
He definitely put his hand in that fruit. Definitely put his hand in that fruit.
This is the type of stuff that I be saying to myself and my friends like,
yo, big man, look, you see big man with no shoes on?
You think about who don't give a damn.
Walking through the lobby of a hotel.
He'll be standing on the elevator with a family checking in
and he's got no shoes on, big toenails hanging.
Yo, man, where are you coming from?
There's no homeless people allowed in here.
Man.
OK.
No, this lady, I don't even think
that even means anything to me.
This lady, it's nothing.
Let me say not this lady.
I'm going to say this lady up until I tell you who she is.
So this lady, I'm in this hotel, I'm checking in,
and I snapped on me, I left my phone in the lift.
So I'm trying to run out, like I left my,
I'm trying to run out to get to the lift.
Then I come back in and tell my roommate,
I say, yo, call the lift lady, tell her I left my phone.
She calls my, he calls my phone, the lady picks it up, boom,
I'm coming back.
She is sitting there talking to my road manager,
I'm outside waiting, he comes back in, he's laughing.
I'm like, what you laughing about?
He said, man, you know she calls security on you.
I was like, what?
She's like, yeah, I thought you was homeless.
I was like, what about She's like, yeah, I thought you was homeless. Jesus Christ.
I was like, what about me?
Look for me.
You got to get damn Gucci tracksuit.
I had on a Gucci tracksuit.
Every time I've seen you, you've had a Gucci tracksuit on.
I'm like, yo.
And I had this long jacket on.
Russell Westbrook has this brand, Honor the Gift.
It's this long blue jean jacket.
I had a Gucci Scully cap on. How did I look homeless? And she comes back
out of the back and she's like, you're lucky he just told me
who you were because you know, I was cured on you.
Oh, shit.
You looked homeless. And I'm like, oh, wow. That's crazy.
Oh, $5,000.
So I go to my room. Because these $5,000 shoes say different
The goddamn penthouse is lady
There's a rich homeless man running around he somehow got into the penthouse
so
My mother road manager. he's checking in later.
So he comes.
He have two road managers?
Yeah.
Sam, you're doing all right.
I got this guy.
For a homeless guy, and he's laughing.
I said, what you laughing about?
Yo man, she told me she almost called the security,
she called the security because she thought you was home.
Yeah, what you heard on?
I said, Uncle Jee Jackson.
So we talking, and he said, man, you know who she is, right?
I said, why would I know who she is?
I come down to get ready to go to the show mm-hmm she's on the phone with her brother okay
brothers on speakerphone mm-hmm he's laughing because she said he go right
here and I said who you talking to say he say, man, I know who you are, man. He blah, blah, blah. And I said, Trick Daddy.
No, shit.
No.
Damn.
Damn.
This is Trick Daddy's sister.
I would have never guessed Trick Daddy was
on the other line of that phone.
You know what I'm saying?
You met Trick Mommy?
Yeah.
His sister.
Trick sister.
This is Trick's sister. It's like his blood sister sister and we give up tickets to the show and all that and
This is crazy. What is the chances?
So sir trick that work that you know hotel in college security on you cuz she thought she was
That's amazing sure shout out to trick daddy
Dude, that's amazing. Shout out to Trick Daddy.
Shout out to you.
Oh, man.
Did you tell him what his sister almost did?
Yeah, she told him.
She probably found out you were Ali Saddiq, called her brother.
My own road manager told him.
Yeah, called her brother, was like,
I just got Ali Saddiq.
You know who Ali Saddiq is?
He's like, yeah, it's my commander.
I'm like, I've seen Trick in Fast Head,
and I didn't know he knew my stuff.
That's awesome.
That's awesome.
That's great.
It's all right.
Oh, cool.
How many people do you roll with when you're on the road?
You see you got two tour managers.
Tour two managers.
Opener.
The feature, which is Marcus, and then the DJ.
You got a DJ, too.
He opens up the show like,
Yeah, he does. You know, it's a different too. He opens up the show like yeah, he does you know
It's it's a different energy. Yeah, that's not when they just sitting out there. Sometimes it gets stale
Yeah, they just sitting out there listening to the house music or the analysis. Maybe if you have to
This is the thing about the theater
The things about the theater is I want it to be an atmosphere.
A vibe, yeah.
And I want people to show up early.
Like, I think I'm going to change my meet and greet
to in the beginning.
Whoa.
That won't take it out of you?
No.
And you know who does that?
Usher.
When I went to go see Usher in Vegas,
the show starts at seven.
The meet and greet is at six.
Okay.
So you meet and greet with him,
and then you go right into theater,
then at seven o'clock, the show starts.
So they get to see him like,
before the show as he's kinda not getting ready.
No, he has a whole different outfit and everything.
Like you come in, they have like a little,
when I went to go see him, they had a little setup of food
and you come in, he's standing behind his backdrop.
He's standing on this X that you can clearly know
that is his X.
Sure.
They usher you around him, talk to you, take the picture,
then you eat something on the way out, you're gone.
And they keep ushering people in like that for
an hour. That's pretty good. And
then the show starts, DJ start,
his DJ starts and then the show
off and running. So after the
show, he doesn't have to come
back out. He's done. He's done.
That's all right. I bet he puts
on a hell of a show. Yeah, no
kidding. He's a goddamn
performer. What? Did you see
the Super Bowl? He was row
skating. It was unbelievable.
It was like, going to see him in Vegas is seeing the Super Bowl show up close,
but for longer. Yeah, like he's doing this for like two and a half out.
Man, this is a great show.
And then he got surprised guests and he'd know he's not.
He wouldn't fill on these keys when I saw him.
That was crazy. I was like, yo, what are you doing?
It was part of the performance.
Her husband is watching.
You can't just be rubbing on this lady
because you got on a glove.
We know your hand is inside that glove.
I saw him do that.
I was like, yo, I would do the same thing.
Yo, it was like, I'm like, yo, man.
She doesn't get out that much.
What are you talking about?
You gotta make your move.
The tour was crazy.
I was like, yo man.
The roller skates were wild.
I would have been petrified.
Yep, man.
But I've seen, man, you gotta see him do it on stage
when all the people come out.
And today he had a, did he had a pole dancers
in the Super Bowl?
I can't remember.
I can't remember. Oh, but the pole dancers in Vegas, it is amazing.
Oh, it's amazing.
Was that a vacation you took?
You went to Vegas?
No, I went for my birthday.
You went for your birthday?
I went for my birthday.
OK.
What was who all went?
What was that like?
How many days is that trip?
The whole family.
Just two.
Just two days.
OK.
Yeah, me and Mark is my feature.
We took the ladies at the house to the usher for my birthday.
Okay.
We had a good time.
Okay.
Man, it was a good time.
Did you buy those tickets or you make a call to get them tickets from somebody?
Man, when you make a call sometimes, it's just different.
It hits different.
You'd be standing on the X.
Yeah.
You can't buy that.
You can't buy the X.
You know, I didn't even have the meet and greet. I didn't have the meet and greet. You can't buy that. You can't buy the X. You know I didn't even have the
meet and greet. I didn't have the meet and greet. You know how the meet and greet happened?
I'm walking up steps because I want to get there early. I want to get there early to
the show. Walking up the stairs. I'm walking through the lobby. Get some peanuts and stuff
to sit down and eat before the show starts. I love the way he talks.
Peanuts?
Are you getting peanuts for the show?
Yeah, I'm getting peanuts.
I want a crack peanut, put it in my little cup.
I've never been so intrigued by peanuts.
Wait, at the Usher show?
Yes.
That's crazy.
He's getting peanuts?
Yeah, it's at a casino.
They sell everything.
It's wild.
It's like a baseball game from the 20s.
Yeah, but he's got a cup for his shells.
So classy. He's got a cup for his shells. Classic. And I'm ready and I walk in and this guy sees me and says,
Alistair Deak?
I said, yes.
He says, man, I'm a big fan.
I said, hey man, thank you man, very much.
Hey man, I'm Usher's road manager.
Would you like to meet him?
I was like, yeah.
It's popping peanuts.
I got time.
And this is me, and I rush back, because nobody's with me.
Sure.
So I rush back and tell everybody, yo, look, pack up everything.
You're going to meet Usher.
And they're like, what are we about to meet Usher?
Girls probably lost it. I'm excited.
Lost it.
Lost it.
Any two girls in the planet would fucking lose it.
Even if they're not fans, they want to meet us.
Everybody's losing it.
I'm losing it.
You've been a fan of us at some point over the past 20 years.
So as I'm walking, me and Marcus, Marcus D. Wyders,
he's not just the, because he's such a great comic.
He's not just, you know, he's like you guys. You You are not just you know He's like you guys you know you just not the feature the one comes out for this is like my friend sure sure so
We walk in and I say this I say see once about Libra energy, baby
Us is a Libra. I'm a Libra and Marcus is a Libra and we blame everything that happens good on Libra
That's the tragiest thing you said.
Yeah, that is.
Classic Libras.
Classic Libra Energy.
See what happens?
And man, we get in there, we meet Usher.
It was a great experience.
And he Alicia Keys both our wives.
I'm talking about in front of us.
He was searching them.
He was like, what just happened?
And then I walk out, I was like, I should find out you didn't.
Yeah, he did.
Give him my peanuts.
Yep, went right back and said, man, I had a good time.
That's all right.
Other vacation stuff, where do you and the fam like to go?
Do you guys like to get away? Do you like staying at the house?
Will you do something tropical just with the wife or the inclusive anything like that?
I am I am a big getaway with the family and do everything
Like we go to Mexico. We taking the kids. We I everything to be, my kids to experience everything.
Okay.
You know, in Costa Rica,
hey man, I know you six, you going.
Now get on that goddamn zip line
and tell us what's up.
On this zip line is then,
look, yeah, you jet skiing,
I know it's choppy.
Learn, learn.
I know it's hurricane season,
but hold on tight,
God damn it.
So if you're paying that money,
you gotta get out there and do it.
Oh, but you gotta get out there and do it.
You're not sitting in the hotel room on your iPad.
If I tell you, my oldest daughter,
she'll tell anybody.
Choppy.
She'll tell anybody this story.
She said, I remember when this little white boy
got me cursed out and I was dead serious.
You know, my oldest son and my oldest daughter,
we had Disneyland.
And this little white boy,
he had on all type of paraphernalia
and he had a sucker, biggest sucker I ever seen in my life.
He runs by and he slides in front of me
and looks me in my face and says,
sir, I'm having the time of my life.
And he runs the other way.
And it's sucker juice all down his arm.
And I look back at my kids and they had a own And they looking like they judging this
Living his he's got Lieber energy right now
Gather my kids up. I said, let me tell y'all something. I just spent
I don't see your fucking teeth, I'm gonna knock them down your fucking
throat.
So my first wife comes back from the bathroom and she sees both our kids like this, just
smiling.
And my daughter, my mother says, what's wrong with you?
He said, daddy said he spent $4,700 fucking dollars.
If he don't see I.T., he gonna knock him down on the throat.
And the mom said, well you know how he is about his money.
I was dead ass serious.
Like how are you not smiling?
Like I don't, now I get my mom now.
Like when I would go places
and act like I didn't wanna be there.
Like she's like, what the fuck is wrong with you? Like yeah. You realize when you get older, but. I'm not gonna be there. I'm not gonna be there. I'm not gonna be there. I'm not gonna be there. I'm not gonna be there. I'm not gonna be there.
I'm not gonna be there.
I'm not gonna be there.
I'm not gonna be there.
I'm not gonna be there.
I'm not gonna be there.
I'm not gonna be there.
I'm not gonna be there.
I'm not gonna be there.
I'm not gonna be there.
I'm not gonna be there.
I'm not gonna be there.
I'm not gonna be there.
I'm not gonna be there.
I'm not gonna be there.
I'm not gonna be there.
I'm not gonna be there.
I'm not gonna be there.
I'm not gonna be there.
I'm not gonna be there.
I'm not gonna be there.
I'm not gonna be there.
I'm not gonna be there.
I'm not gonna be there.
I'm not gonna be there. I'm not gonna be there. I'm not gonna be there. I'm not gonna be there. I'm not gonna be there. I'm not gonna be there. It's nothing for us to eat here. Have you looked at the menu? And well, it's just nothing for us to eat here and then
We days Eve he saw an egg was shrimp and grits were on there. Uh-huh. What is the shrimp and grits?
Then he eats it and then he orders another one and he over there smiling and fucking cheesing and shit
I know you're mad. He's my one my yo
What's all the smiling shit by remember when I need you
You know, like but this is delicious. I'm like you you just being an asshole
Yeah, you just got here you try it out. You wanted to be somewhere else, which I don't know where that could be
You know like I don't got shrimp and grits there
And you're broke
You're with us Calling't say you're broke. You're with the... Who would...
Do you understand?
Man, calling a kid broke is great.
Yeah, calling a kid broke's all right.
Just think about it.
If you could walk around with a money machine...
You walk around with a money machine, would you...
Why would you not be happy walking around with a money machine?
Yeah, no kidding.
I'm a fountain of bread.
Double Shrimp and Grits. Double Shrimp and Grits is wild. Do you understand? He's 13. I Double
Sherman grits is wild do you understand he 13 double should be great
I respect you or do the double Andre's great bring it back
Do you
As long as you're smiling
Too much don But not too much.
Don't smile too much.
Yeah, that's funny.
I'm a great person.
Well, you inflate the cost of how much something is?
No.
To the kids.
To the kids.
No.
Because whatever it is, it's that.
It's expensive.
It's already enough.
Okay.
So you asked...
Like you said $4,700.
To me, that'd be $5,500.
No, that was actually $47,000. Yeah, I would have, it was actually 47. Yeah, I would I would have said
It would have got up to 10 grand. Yeah
I got no we talked about just the tickets and you know all the store here in the hotel in the travel
We're not talking about what we're spending while you're here. If I keep tallying
and while you're here. If I keep telling you, I keep telling you.
You know what I'm saying?
So I'm one of them.
And it's important that you know how much this costs.
I don't want you to ever mistake that this is like somebody else's life.
Because I know I didn't grow up like that. Sure.
My son does not eat fast food.
It is like.
He looks I think he looks down on people like if you with my
Son and you just ran you got other kids with you and let's stop in McDonald's get something. He is definitely really like hey
They got shrimp and grits
Truffles on my hamburger, I don't know who I talked to McDonald's. I eat McDonald's. Like, like, what do you mean?
Even though I literally. There's
no truffles on my hamburger. I
don't know who I talk to.
McDonald's. That's crazy. I
don't. It's okay. I'm out with
a eight-year-old and a six-year-old.
Mm hmm. I say, hey guys, what
do y'all want for lunch? It's
like, let's go to steak forty-
eight. And I was like, oh, okay. Cool.
Who said this? The 80-year-old or the six-year-old?
The six-year-old.
Man.
Yeah. Chunkababy wanted steak.
Chunkababy, she was like, man, Chunka was like, yo, steak.
That's crazy.
You don't do fast food at all, right?
No.
When's the last time you had fast food?
Like years?
Intentionally, it's been years.
Years.
I remember in Denver.
It was in Denver.
And the kids, like you're saying,
so if the kids are out with other kids
and the other parents, they won't eat it.
They're like, we're going to Wendy's.
We're going to get Chicken McNuggets.
Not doing it.
Really?
Not doing it. Really? Not doing.
So the other the most of the time when kids
families go out with us, we generally generally pick up the bill
because we know there's going to be something high.
Sure. Yeah.
And it's not because it's a choice.
I have one that's allergic to files, so she can eat duck. She can eat turkey. She can eat chicken. She can't even eat the choice. I have one
so she can't eat duck. She can't eat turkey. She can't
eat chicken. She can't even
eat the egg. She can't. Yeah.
So, she can't eat any. Okay.
So, her meat of choice is lamb
goat steak. So, that's what
she's going to eat mass
majority of the time. How old
is she? That's eight. That's
the eight year old. Eight year
old. Lamb. Go. Yeah. That's
**** nuts. Oh, man. This is
place. I didn't go till I I was 33. When you coming to Houston? Soon. June something. 13th, 14th, something like that. It's a place called Agos. Okay. Agos. Get the goat chops. Goat chops? Have a runner, go out and get them.
Get the goat chops.
I ain't got runner money.
What do you talk about?
I got a runner.
Um.
You got to get the DJ.
Have the DJ do it.
He don't go on those sex.
Ollie, you guys like platinum, right?
What?
Just get some of the choppers.
Go over there.
You guys have runners because you're in theaters and you've had a rider.
There's nothing on it.
I've never filled it out.
I don't know.
Definitely not goat chops.
I don't know how to get there.
We get there and it's always the wacky shit.
I didn't sign up for it.
Oh yeah, the one that we were not long ago, we were positive that they were gas station
sandwiches for sure.
Yeah, it was rough.
Hey, I will tell you, the runners are hit and miss.
It's not always like you.
Hey, who thought it was a good idea to get no salted popcorn?
Who said this? It's not on the rider.
Back skinny pop in there.
OK, who is getting the real cranberry juice? This is like this is cranberry
Man I said yo man
Who okay? These are not the towels
These are not these are not these are towels that you ever had a towel that doesn't really pick up the water sure
Yeah, rough one. I like to
doesn't really pick up the water. Sure. Yeah, rough one. I like that.
These are not the towels.
We need towels to wipe sweat.
I can't be wiping and it's still on me.
Sure, it's just moving into the side of your face.
Like a windshield wiper.
Wait, I figured you would be a real cranberry juice guy.
What's your cranberry? Ocean spray?
No, I'm a real cranberry juice guy.
Everybody else is not right
He's supposed to have both. Okay, and then sometimes I want to like the little cocktail
Just you know, I'm gonna just drink some real quick sure but man this this tart was thick
Yeah, it was one of them like yo, I do not have a urinary tract. Yeah
When you feel you have a urinary tract infection you chug one of those and it goes away instantly.
Instantly.
Yeah.
Instantly.
And I'm not going to say how we know, but instantly.
Yeah.
It's definitely, I wasn't looking for that one.
Sure.
Try to have a little cranberry, loosen up a little bit.
Will you shower at the venue?
Or do you shower at the hotel?
I've showered.
If you have to, I guess.
I've showered at one venue, that's when I was shooting
the special in DC at the Capitol Turnaround,
I showered there.
He won't use the pool at a hotel,
he's not showering at a theater.
It would be, I would have to be super delayed
and get to the venue.
You'd have to be showing right up there.
Yeah, but I have shower shoes.
Yeah, I have shower shoes.
You travel with shower shoes too?
You use them in the hotel? Yes. You shower
shoes in the hotel? Yeah. Wait,
you shower shoes in the hotel
in the shower? Yes. Really?
Where else would he use them?
I just walk around the room
in. Oh, he's got house shoes.
That's crazy. Wait, are you
checking a bag every time you
fly? Yes. What kind of luggage you rolling with? Oh, Briggs and Riley. Oh, are you checking a bag every time you fly? Yes.
What kind of luggage you rolling with?
Oh, Briggs and Riley.
Oh, I don't even know.
I got to look that up.
Briggs and Riley.
He said he didn't even make eye contact when he said that.
Sounded like an old Motown group.
I'm telling you.
Man, if you want to have a dope conversation with me,
let's talk about luggage.
Briggs and Riley is the...
You got the hard case or you got a soft case?
Man I have every case that I have. I have so much Briggs. My backpack is Briggs and Riley.
Really?
My toiletry bag inside is Briggs and Riley.
That's an expensive carry-on.
Yeah.
That's a $700 carry. I have the carry on. I have two
backpacks. I have the roller bag. I just bought a, man, the
new bag that I just bought is a roller bag, but you can lay
your clothes out flat. And then it folds up. And then it folds
up and it does not wrinkle. Oh man, this bag is insane. And
that's that's promo code Sadiq at Breiggs and Riley. I need them to give me an
endorsement. No for real. I have so and when people ask me about luggage I'm like yo Briggs and Riley
let me tell you the best part of this. Man if you saw the way I traveled you would be grossed out.
If you got Briggs and Riley you could take all that gross stuff. They got a washing machine in
I let grow stuff. I got a washing machine in the bag.
It desanitizes it.
They're putting me in there.
I'm telling you, man, listen.
This is a very, man, this is a very respectable bag.
Now let me tell you, the great part of this bag,
lifetime warranty.
And when I say lifetime warranty, with no haggling,
either they can fix your
bag or they will give you a new bag. It is like no discussion with them. It's like you
send it in to them. Go to the luggage store you bought from them, they send it in to them.
In three weeks, they will have you that bag back. It's fixed or it is new. They the man, it's like, and they so good.
You bring your old luggage, they give you $50 for your old luggage.
They just want that trash off the street.
You won't stop you that day.
I give you $50.
Yeah.
What do you put the toothbrush in?
What's your toothbrush in in your shave in your?
Toiletry bag the case it falls down it has a space for
Electric yeah electric okay, and you have that in a case. It's in the case I put it in a torture bag okay in the torture bag hangs so you oh
They have it all there my toothbrush is just in my shaving kit
It's a regular. So is mine.
Looks like the dog got it, too.
Is it OK? Is your luggage monogrammed? Yes.
That's all right.
Man, that's all right.
Great question for the perfect guest.
I would assume the towels at the house are probably monogrammed
on like the hand towels in like the bathrooms at the house.
We don't decorate with towels. And I think people don't decorate with everything is a choice
What does that mean? So like like you decorate with decorative things not the towels? Okay, so if I walked into the
The bathroom on like the first floor of the house like where like guests would oh use the bath of the guest bathroom
Oh, it is beautiful.
But is there towels in there?
It is a hand towel.
Yeah, he's saying it's function, not form.
Okay.
So it's like when you walk in, the wall, it has this beautiful wallpaper.
And then you turn this way, the wall is kind of like metal.
Gotcha. wallpaper and you turn this way is that the wall is kind of like metal gotcha
and then this is very unique mirror you know is all type of stuff in there the
Senate things and the toilet is a bidet as well you know you can course it in
his want to see this warm it has a light in it is it's all type of greenery in
this toilet is a light in the toilet is a light and toilet. And this is what you're doing.
Where you're going.
And it is it is.
Man, it is beautiful.
OK, the floor is done.
The cabinets and it is beautiful.
Don't decorate with towels.
That's the classiest thing anybody's ever said.
You have a thing with these napkins that.
Yeah, those are great.
And that's away from the Kleenex thing.
Just blow your nose. And for the rest of my life,x thing, just in case you have to blow your nose.
For the rest of my life,
I'm going to think monogram towels are uncouth.
Yeah, I'm going to walk in and be like,
these bozos decorating with towels.
I'm going to call my mom and yell at her.
Because I think, you know, I've said this a lot,
that I think that 93% of American people
bathe with the wrong towel. Like people bathe with the wrong towel. Like they lay it on me. What do you got? They bathe
with the small towel. Bathe with it. Yeah, like they bathe
their body with the small towel. With a hand towel. Yeah,
that's that's a face towel. Sure. What do you what do you
what do you so? So, it's three towels. How the towels come.
You have the big towel, the middle towel, and then the
face towel. You supposed to bathe with the middle tiles. How the tiles come. You have the big tile, the middle tile, and
then the face tile. You
supposed to bathe with the
middle with the middle tile.
Wait, not the washcloth. No.
This would be the smallest one.
That's the face tile. Okay.
You're you're talking to three
dudes who've never used a
washcloth. You're taking a
shower with a hand towel?
That's the that's the he's
saying that's the washcloth. Really? Yeah. That's what you're supposed to
bathe with. I use a pillow case.
How many times do you use a towel? The towel that you dry
off with after the shower at the house? You know, oh, and at
the house, oh, that's a good four days. Okay. That's good. Alright. I thought I thought you would've went shorter. Oh, and at the house,
our home are very community.
Anybody could add his towel on. Okay.
Cause you have small children that'll walk in
and just snatch your towel down.
Sure.
They bathe in your thing.
They just, why you got my towel?
You get tired of saying it.
As long as it's not wet.
You're good.
Just grab it and roll with it.
Grab it and roll with it.
Okay.
And I found myself getting out the shower,
my towel is gone and I decided, okay, my little mermaid towel is about to get used.
It's wrapped around my waist and I'm like, yo, this is actually
not my towel. Where's my towel?
Little mermaid towel. I love those. So when those things get
washed a few times, those towels are great.
But I saw this thing on Amazon now and I think I'm gonna put this in my bathroom. I need this towel warmer
Yeah, I've seen those in hotels every once in a while. I need it. Yeah, they're pretty cool
Yeah, they're good for bathing suits to to dry the bathing suit. Yeah, it dries it like only an hour
Yeah, I haven't had it yet, but I'm gonna get it.
The last thing I got on Amazon that I think is amazing is the steam room. The self, the
indoor steam room. Okay. The little zip up one? It's amazing. Yeah. I got a big chair
to put in there. The chair that they send you to small. So I put it in my office, tucked
in the corner. I go in my office, turn the
TV on, and man, I'm in it. Steaming out.
Steaming out. And you can only do like, you have to build up. Like, on the commercial,
they're like, we did 30 minutes. Yeah, it took you six months to build up 30 minutes.
Sure, and I did.
So, that's those things get cooking. They're not cheap. Yeah.
Man, I'm up to 15 minutes. I've had it for a year.
Okay. Yeah, 10. I'm up to 15 minutes. I've had it for a year. Okay It's I've been there once they get going you walk in there you like, okay
Yeah, and now you guys becomes a challenge. I'm not I'm not gonna break
But you're gonna break cuz this thing is it man that little pot of water is pumping it in there
Uh-huh. Whoa, I like a steam
Did you do a cold plunge ever?
I've done it.
It's not my favorite.
I don't know what you said.
You talking about man.
The tone in his voice.
Good lord.
That's gonna hate ya.
Man, this is a man's bath.
You have to be a viking.
Like, man, I don't even know, man,
I don't know how they do it, man,
cause it was, it was cold.
It was, man, it was, it was, man, it was,
I did it in a fancy hotel as well.
Like they, and they didn't even tell you,
like you go from high, it's just like this,
straight in this spa, you walk in,
it gets real shallow and you go to this,
but then you walk over to another,
and then it's a thing, oh, cold bath.
It's pretty cool, man.
And, and, and, woo!
Jack, like, man!
And I, and I, and I thought it was all right,
cause I saw, man, this, this is why, man, I don't,
you can't, you can't really trust white people
in a cold bath, like, it, it, it was, It won't get you. Like it was like this lady was moving very,
it was like it was a regular pool.
She was like, and I was like,
I can't be that bad.
And then she was like,
I can't walk forward or backwards.
I just need to stand.
Lady, what are you made of?
It was, and she kept coming by me, it's not that bad.
Ma'am, if you splash something on me, I'm telling you, it's gonna stop.
Stop, don't come over here.
That's great, dude.
It was, oh, man, I don't even know how people do it.
You know what I wanted to ask you?
What was the first concert you went to as a kid?
Do you remember your first concert?
Did I purchase myself?
No, just who did you see?
Did your parents took you or somebody?
Oh man, I thought you was going to say that I bought myself.
That was going to be MC Hammer in the audition.
Damn!
That's a good one.
But you want a better story.
This is Hammer time we're talking.
Hammer time in the new audition together.
Hammer was closing.
It was crazy.
So, better story.
First, first, first concert ever, five years old.
Okay.
Five.
And I am not supposed to be here,
but my mom dropped me off at my dad's house unexpected.
Okay.
He was going to the concert. He's going to the concert. Okay, he was going to the concert.
He's going to the concert.
And he just walk out of the concert,
it's a five-year-old on the hood is calling.
Oh, okay.
And he like, man, what's going on?
My mama says she called you,
you ain't been answering the phone.
So here we are.
So he like, damn, my to go home. So, here we are. So, he like,
damn, my father stuck me into
this concert and we're going to
see George Clinton. Really?
And this is Funkadelic. No
kidding. The parliament
Funkadelic. He. That's a big
show. This is a huge show. Were
you aware? I guess at five, you
have no idea. That hell is going on. No, everybody's wiping coke off
their nose. You got no clue. I
mean, there's a hundred people
on that stage. It is. Yo, this
is my first memory. No, this is
when George Clinton was Doctor
Funkinstein. So, they're I'm
going to be intrigued. It is a
spaceship. Sure. You might as
well think you're on another
planet. Yeah. It is a spaceship. And then.
The lights, I can't see the string.
Sure, I can see it now when you have five.
I look back, but if I don't see this during this man, and it's coming
down and it's over, it's coming over the people.
And I am. Whoa.
When it lands, it starts kicking in, god damn.
When it lands on the stage,
the thing, the door drops
and all of this smoke comes out.
I mean, that wouldn't ruin you.
And it's red.
And everybody, it's like everybody around
just lit up something.
And it's just, and you saw this huge top of this guitar come out first. And like, and people are losing their minds.
Sure.
My dad has lost his mind.
I'm not even with him no more.
My dad, I am.
That's a crazy first gutter for a five-year-old man.
Man, and he comes out.
Before the good talk comes out, you see this boot come out.
He got this huge boot on.
And he's Dr. Funk, and he comes out, and he's playing, we want the funk.
And he got this, man want the funk. Mm, mm, mm, mm.
And he got this, man, it's all his head.
And he's open with that?
Crazy.
Jesus Christ.
They got so much other shit to play.
Open with that?
And this, man, he's dressed up, it's like Black Kiss.
Sure.
And it's crazy.
That's a really funny way to put it.
That's a perfect linear. Yeah, it's like
All these other people start coming out with Pampers on and all type of wow
Yo, this is crazy
That's a current that would ruin you for other concerts
They see that you know how long it took me to go to a concert
This is the only hammer.
It's a Broadway show.
Yeah.
And this is like, yo, man, another group with a bunch of people on stage.
Yeah, that's true.
You know, man, it was insane.
How was that live?
How was Hammer live?
Oh, in sanity.
Killed it.
People forget how big at that.
I know it was only a short amount of time, but everybody.
Dude, white moms, white kids, black everybody. I know it was only a short amount of time, but and everybody
Dude my mom's white kid everybody loved MC Hammer man
You turned it on everybody that came on the radio everybody in every car turned that up. Yeah, I'm a man
It was insane in the see how many new addition together, but then you have
Concerts like the funk fest was huge like an Astroworld you would have LL Cool J,
Ron DMC, Slick Rick, you know, Rock Him,
then Orange Juice Jones, you'd have them in concert
at like Astroworld, Funk Fest.
And I was gonna see them at the summit as well.
But MC Hammer, New Edition, I remember what I. I remember what I had on a silk short. So remember what I had on
Fucking oh geez, you ever own a pair of hammer fans
And you know what's crazy
We attributed to hammer
But Bobby Brown had him first
But Bobby Brown had them first. Yeah, theoretically.
Theoretically, but we never wore them with Bobby.
He wore them with, I remember, no shirt
and like a blazer on over top of it.
That was the Bobby Brown version of it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It never stuck.
I remember that was one of those things,
because I was probably in seventh or eighth grade
when all that hit.
And it was one of those things,
it was kind of similar with the Michael Jackson jacket, there was that and then there was a lot of not quite there yet versions of that that everybody kind of got in there was a lot of hammer sweatpants going around my school that weren't really hammer pants they were like real shitty versions of it yeah man it man. It was a tough luck. Oh man it
That's I'm gonna say that's probably normal fake hammer paint sure because fake anything
Was normal when I was growing up
Do you know what it's like when polo came out and polo cost a pretty little sure sure and
It was polo polo and eyes or with the alligator.
Yeah.
And then he called Lacoste or something.
Yeah.
But it was eyes or right.
My dad came in, he was like, yo, man got you some shirts.
Polo shirts and you know, got them for the what?
For a discount.
So man, I'm looking at this shirt.
Horses upside down in ships.
It is a polo style shirt.
Sure, yeah.
But it's a man on a horse as well.
But.
It's got a gladiator helmet on it.
It's crazy, it's a Knights of the,
it wasn't a polo stick, that man had a flag in his hand.
Sure.
It's called Knights at a round table like this.
Like I'm not wearing this.
It just says broke on the flag.
Man, and then he made me wear one to school and man, you
talking about getting.
Yeah, you took a lot of heat.
Yo, yo, horse on you got three legs.
Yeah, you took a lot of heat.
Yeah, a lot of heat.
You didn't wear Zcavaricis, did you?
No, this on Domino Effect 3, I say that it was a dofiend in the cell and they didn't
check him well.
And he had on a pair of Zcavaricis.
He didn't even know what they were.
He said, you might find a little crack in these pockets.
And he had all these pockets on.
I don't know what one of these Z-Camariches.
So, and, man, but I thought that those were expensive.
Yeah, yeah.
But same thing, there was knockoffs of that
that everyone, it was a rough era.
It was a rough, yeah, definitely a rough era.
I just remember kids bringing,
trying to do the Thriller
Jackets they got for Christmas.
And they were horrible.
Man.
I remember, you remember running DMC at their own Adidas?
Yeah.
And people used to try to, like, yo, man,
Adidas has three stripes.
Yo, man, what is this four stripe doing, yo?
Mm.
Like, no, no, no. These are no, is this four stripe doing, yo? No, no, no. Those are four stripe
nothings. What are you talking about? It's been some knockoff and now people, I think
people okay with knockoffs now. Some of them look really good. I mean like you can-
It doesn't matter but it's not, I hate a knockoff because when you have money to get
something like I can't stand it's this bracelet that people keep trying to
redo um call a Van Cleef okay and the knockoff Van Cleef bracelets are
horrible they're horrible because you're much. What kind of bracelet is it? It's this. One of these? Yeah. Yeah, the one with the
the the five motif bracelet. Okay. So, they have the
knockoff of this bracelet and it's horrible when you actually
have the bracelet and people can't tell the difference
between the knockoff and the real one when the knockoff like I won't buy I have
the five motif okay but the bracelet that I wear that's a Van Cleef they don't knock
that one off because it's not you have to go into the store to know that they even make
it gotcha but see soon as athletes start buying this one I had it before LeBron so
it wasn't popular.
It was living a different life than us.
Not too shabby.
I was thinking about buying a fake Rolex or something.
Oh, and that it, man.
Someone said, you're gonna get mugged for 40 bucks?
I'm like, yeah, good point.
Yeah, this is the thing.
And then you can really never really make a fake Rolex.
Yeah, it does.
Because they're-
I mean, the circles I run and no one will know
You can't really keep the second hand it can never not
And then it's other stuff inside of it that
Like I've seen somebody with a fake one. Yeah, and you're gonna ask me how you know
It's got a calculator on it
So the calculator on it so the the role is not one it's not one Rolex sure yeah several
different styles like you are only duplicating this one but you don't do
you can't duplicate the lefty they only made one that has a left hand, the dial is on the left side. Oh shit. Really? Yeah. Only one.
This guy knows his jewelry.
Crazy.
It's only one.
I mean, I think I'm...
I thought we were gonna catch it.
I know.
Lenny just ends up talking about he had a bracelet before LeBron.
Yeah, LeBron didn't know nothing about that bracelet.
You hear that, LeBron?
Someone told him.
Then he went in there and got fancy.
No, you hate when somebody would wave them away
and you find out about something that you knew about first.
Like right now, DL wears Gucci suits.
I don't have to worry about, LeBron's into everything
before I get there.
I'm 10 years behind LeBron.
No, I'm telling you, you think we're trend-setting
DL Hughley?
My jeans are dirty right now. And that's the look. behind LeBron. No, I'm telling you. You think we're trend-setting DL Hoogley?
My jeans are dirty right now.
That's a look.
That's a look.
You hear that, gang?
Yeah.
Now, hey, we know if y'all start wearing dirty jeans,
when you've got it from first.
That's a look.
Look, look, I wear dirty shoes. Oh, yeah, but they're kind of dirty shoes are coming back now.
I gotta have that.
Yeah, no, he's been doing dirty shoes for years.
And that's the thing, and I attributed to it.
Hey, listen, I wear these.
He saw you in Nashville and was like, I gotta fuck my shoes up before I see them, Nick.
I wear these shoes, Gold and Goose, and I've been wearing them for a while.
I was on Bring the Funny with them on.
I wear them, but I attribute the look
to people who wore dirty shoes way before,
because I know I would have never wore.
My mother was like, yo, listen,
how much you pay for them shoes?
This is already dirty?
They already dirty?
I'm like, yeah, they supposed to be like that, mama.
They came pretty dirty?
They came like this.
What? Really?
Yeah. They came like that. This is new. I could be selling What? Really? Yeah, they came like that.
This could be selling my sneaks.
Yeah, come on.
This is what I put them in the next merch line.
Let's go.
Like dirty.
They have they have they have one of the hubs here.
Like you can get them made here in New York, Miami and a couple
other places they have them.
But yeah, Golden Goose is a big brand skater shoe.
What it's not that style.
Will you maintain your sneaks?
Will you keep, will you touch them up?
Like a pair of Jordans.
Will you touch them up before you go out?
Or do you just kind of let them age as they age?
Man, my own clouds are gonna definitely get touched up.
I what?
No, on clouds.
The other, the other.
Okay.
Like, Hokas and on clouds. So, you
like those. What? Really? What? Alright. Man, I just bought a
fresh new pair on clouds. Okay. I started wearing today
because I gotta do a lot of walking. You know, and and man,
let me tell you, this is when you actually lose your edge.
Like, I thought, you know, I thought I was a pretty edgy
person and I was walking around my neighborhood and I and I said to myself, I literally said this out loud
to myself, I said, yo man, you losing your edge
because you don't look menacing anymore.
Okay, coffee shoes on.
And I am literally black hoodie,
I have on all black and I'm walking in my neighborhood
in the morning and so many white ladies are speaking to me.
Yeah.
And like, good morning.
You're a rich guy now.
Good morning, good morning.
And I noticed.
The new Hokas look good.
I said, and that's the thing.
I'm like, I told my friend, he's like,
you cannot be tough with on-clouds on.
Yeah, no.
You have on some big yellow on-clouds.
They're like finance bros, yeah.
You have on yellow on-clouds. Is this what you had? He's like, is this what you had on? I'm like, yeah, that's what I had on. He's like, you big, yellow on-clouds. They're like finance bros, yeah. You have them on yellow on-clouds.
Is this what you had?
He's like, is this what you had on?
I'm like, yeah, that's what I had on.
He's like, you have them on yellow on-clouds.
I had a visor on and two little two pound weights
walking through the neighborhood.
Hey, Mary, how you doing?
You know, he's like, yo, you are not medicine.
No.
Dude, on-clouds are the whitest shoe in the world.
But they're comfy, yeah.
I own several pairs of them.
And I knew when they changed their style and everything, because you know, at the bottom, I'm like, oh, they're comfy.
They change their style everything because you know
they at the bottom rocks were
getting caught up in the bottom
of the the soles. So, they
change the soles. So, I wrote
customer service and I said a
strongly worded email. So, do
you wait? Do you think they're
how do you compare them to
Hokas? Cuz I've only ever worn
the Hokas and I love them. I
think they're the very much the
same comfort level. Yeah. it's for different things.
Okay, just like the Hocus have different shoes for different
things.
Okay, you I think the own clouds.
You didn't know that.
You had not.
I know that.
Oh, this is crazy day.
My feet were hurting.
It that's a different things in you may have been but was your
back hurting now just my soul were hurt.
So they it's designed they gave you some design for your feet because if your back hurting is No, just my feet were hurting. So they, it's designed, they gave you some design for your feet.
Because if your back hurting, it's a different salt.
He didn't talk to anybody.
Nah, he just bought that one.
Or you just went in there.
He just went in there.
And those are the ones they generally sell in the store, like the Dicks or whatever.
We were in Ireland, I brought a pair of like shell tops with me that were just completely
flat and killing my feet.
Dude, I was dying.
We didn't make it out of the airport.
I was dying.
He was, he couldn't walk Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's
you gotta get hurt. So if you
go to like a fleet feed like a
store or shoe store that for
specialized for running,
okay, they have special hokas
like they specialize in a
soul. Prescriptions. Yeah, but
you know, New Balance does it as
well. But on clouds, oh man, this is a
different shoe man. It's a different thing. Like Brooks have an arch already in them
so if you have a low arch, you can run in a brook more comfortably but Hoka's is
more of a flat kind of comfortable shoe. I thought it was just fat guy shoes. Yeah,
no but they actually have a running Hoka that's already curved in the front for
to push you forward. I own those as well. That's what I need. You know they have the Yeah, Hoka has a... Hoka, hit us up! Talk to me! Yeah, man!
Cut the check already!
And Brooks and Donner, whoever that delugage store was.
Briggs and Riley.
Briggs and Riley.
Sounds like a detective fair.
Too detective.
Get Briggs and Riley in here now!
These are the good things.
These are the things that you find out about.
You're like, wait a minute.
It's affordable and it's rich?
Ah, that's find out about. You're like, wait a minute. It's affordable and it's rich?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Gang, the new special, the Domino Effect 3,
is on YouTube right now.
It's already cooking.
Unbelievable.
Absolutely fantastic.
He's on tour.
I got a story to tell story.
You can get all your tickets at aliceadeek.com.
Ladies and gentlemen, the great Mr. Ali Sadiq.
Oh, man.
Thank you all for having me once again.
I am am I garbage?
No, what are you talking about?
You know, you came from garbage.
That was the assessment last year.
Your family growing up, obviously the drug deal and the whole night.
You've seen both your parents fistfight.
You checked at your first concert was fucking George Clinton.
Yeah, that's crazy.
It's like, yeah, you came you came but I mean you're very refined
Man we love you buddy. Thank you so much for coming in
Congratulations on everything on the tour on the new splash anything else you want the folks out there to know a
Domino effect for. Um uh oh. Father's Day. We just
got an exclusive right there. Yeah. I love it. Kippy, what
do you got for him? Uh guys, we're all over the road. We're
announcing more dates. Uh I believe next week. So, stay
tuned for those. RU Garbage.com. Gang, we love you and
we'll see you next week. Peace.