Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Andrew Schulz: New Money

Episode Date: June 1, 2020

Andrew Schulz joins us to talk about the right way to fly, growing up in NYC, when to wear a basketball jersey, and what is classy. You know Andrew Schulz from the Joe Rogan Experience, Brilliant Idiots, Flagrant 2, and MTV.  Get exclusive content at www.Patreon.com/AreYouGarbage Rate/Review/Subscribe!

Hey gang, it's your old pals Uncle Hank and kippy kevin james ryan special announcement the r u garbage patreon is alive Oh, baby. It is up and running clean living go to patreon.com slash r u garbage where you can get exclusive content We're gonna have bonus episodes every week. We're gonna have stuff me and foley from the hard feelings archive We're gonna do live streams the whole nine yards Getting why you can buy low sell high what they say so check it out everybody go to patreon.com Slash r u garbage. We need this Welcome to another exciting edition of r u garbage The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals

Or absolute trash Now here are your hosts kevin ryan and h foley Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast This is r u garbage the show where we sit down with your favorite comedians And find out if they grew up classier if they grew up absolute trash I am self-proclaimed garbage from philadelphia, pennsylvania I am your host h foley coming at you from what my co-host described as my mom's man cave Here in suburban philadelphia feeling pretty good

My co-host is in an undisclosed location somewhere in the southern tip of the new jersey coastline Ladies and gentlemen kevin james ryan everybody What's up guys no longer a secret north y wood new jersey king of the fucking boardwalk come see me if you want a shot at the title I'll be at the fucking condor waiting for you Guys happy to be here. Thanks so much for listening. Um, we appreciate it If you're new to the show, please make sure you go uh rate review on itunes full videos up on youtube You can uh subscribe and comment there. We appreciate it. Also the patreon is launched to go check that out as well Very nice and folks. I can't tell you I can speak on behalf of kevin and I to let you folks know how excited we are to have

This incredibly special guest here on the podcast today. You love them You wanted them and let's take our time and go over this rap sheet right here Okay, let's start out with uh, you seen him on guide code. You seen him on bender sneaky p. Hbo's crashing Fake news at night Feast of the seven fishes movie this week at the comedy cellar Funny pains documentary about comedy. All right. He is uh, he put out a special a few years ago We recorded the special for some reason nobody wanted to buy it So what did he do? We started posting the clips on youtube and let me fast forward to about 15 minutes ago

This young man has one million subscribers on youtube his special the crowd work special has 2 4 million views He puts out daily video and daily content that garners millions of views hundreds of thousands of views in a fucking clip He has his own multimedia studio He performs sold out shows to sold out crowds all over the fucking world He's got some of the best fans in comedy All right. He is the He is the definition of hard work determination and talent all fucking rolled into one

He's one of the goats. He's one of the kings. He's the starting fucking quarterback He's the prom queen and the prom king and from what I heard right before the fucking pandemic He was out there at teter bar airport christ checking golf stream fives But the big question everybody mind today is he garbage ladies and fucking gentlemen As I've said many a times in person and I can't wait to do it again Give it up for the one the only Andrew Schultz everybody Tell me it's true about the g5 if you start flying private. Oh man

I'm gonna I'm gonna have a poster of you on my wall Yeah, yeah, that's the next step baby. You can't be flying commercial anymore Yeah, I think that's how you get the rape case. I think Everybody who went g5 like louis I think started going private as ease went private every Private got a rape case or like a training case or something like that. Eddie probably went private jet and then went with the tranny Yeah, Cosby was flying commercial Cosby was not in coach. I know that much. He was flying fucking private in the 70s Yeah, yeah, yeah 100 that's why you got to go clean. You got to go like burst our flying helicopters everywhere That's right. That's a good one the helicopter. Yeah, I mean I could be a move for you

Yeah, I don't know man. I'm a little freaked out about the uh the helicopters post-coby I asked I asked her about that. He was just kind of like he's like no like you gotta just you know Look at the weather. You got to be real strong with your convictions when it comes to the weather I'm amazed with that. Would either one of you ever get into a helicopter with me if I had like Three years experience of flying a helicopter, dude. I don't even trust you saying the word helicopter get the fuck out of here No fucking way, dude Yeah, man. It'd be it'd be risks gay, dude I mean, I'd probably take a helicopter still fuck it. It was a nice day. Yeah

Yeah, why not? I mean come on Some of the ones from vietnam like a hui. I would love to flying one of those Fucking fire up the m60 start fucking laying down That'd be pretty fun little rolling stones playing behind me No, I was talking to versey about flying with burn. He's just like yeah, man Like if there's one person I do trust flying a fucking helicopter. That's my boy. It's him And I was like, I don't know if I have one of those boys. I'd fly with you. So see uncle hank. I'm right there with them I've never put you to a danger. I promise you. Thanks, buddy. All right. Well, let's we have limited time with you again

We thank you so much for being here. Uh, this is our you garbage Before we start asking you some questions to find out what the situation is. I want you to take me through Uh growing up in the city now a lot of times on the show when we get to the city kids It's a little bit. It's a little bit Not difficult for us, but it's hard to like get that image of how city kids grew up because we're both trash from the suburbs You know fucking riding riding dirt bikes and construction sites and jumping creeks and all that kind of stuff So I just want to get before we get into the questions is You know, take me through how you grew up in the city

I know your family you guys are kind of in the union square area mostly, right So, uh, yeah, I grew up in the east village, but we moved down there when I was like in fourth grade So before that I was like on upper east side and then up a west side Yeah, I don't know it's like I don't have anything to compare it to but people think like growing up in the city is so Weird when I describe it to them, but I just don't understand what else there is I I don't know it's it's hard for me to describe it as odd You know, I guess I'd go over to my apartment if there was a park your parents take you the park to hang out When you get old enough to go out by yourself

You just hang out on a stoop and you drink some fouries on a stoop or something like that So maybe we didn't have I don't know the fucking Local mcdonald's wherever you guys would hang out on crates But like that was what we did. We just kind of felt found some place outside And I want to get into that more specifically But before we get into that tell me like what did your mom and dad do growing up your mom? It was a dancer. Correct? Or is it dancer folks have a uh a uh ballroom dance studio Kids all fucking class. These are learned fucking people. He comes from learned people

Will we walk will we doing good on the cash at this point? Like were your parents doing well or did they start at the bottom? No, well, I think Well, my mom is like dirt poor from scotland Came here and then she becomes like the best dancer of her generation She's like three time us ballroom dance champion and she was just like what? I didn't know that She's a beast man. She's a beast. So it's like she came here and then my dad um

Grew up in Manhattan and then like when he was a teenager they moved to jersey to montclair, new jersey and then um He was in the army and then he got out of the army He was in baltimore and then he got into the news business and he was like at the same news station as oprah and then Yeah, it's crazy crazy and then uh, matter of fact a friend of his used to get ahead from oprah She's shut up. Dude. Yeah I said this the other day I said it on twitter

And you came through with the fucking the whole caller daddy business when you didn't go out on a date with that check You're like you're like fucking forest gump of modern entertainment right now. He's just in the middle of everything Ah, my dad's my dad's fucked oprah. You know, it's crazy No, my dad never fucked over but a guy that he worked with said he used to get ahead from oprah and he was like He literally said He goes and he said to my dad once he goes let me tell you something That this kid is gonna be a star We got the clip cut it print it fatso let that run. All right, it's too fucking funny

That's crazy. She's good. I'll tell you that she's good. She's all right. She's all right My uh, my father said that um, well, my father's like memories gone He's like losing all his memory the beauty of that is like He probably doesn't even remember telling me that so like Did you say that like if you try to sue him for slander he'd be like, I don't even know what happened Yeah, what are you talking about? That's also getting a blowjob from an early oprah is like something you don't tell for a couple of years because you don't want anybody Know and then you're like, oh never mind. I gotta I gotta head from oprah. You gotta wait to the peak of oprah. Yeah

That's when you drop that shit. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. So it's like like the more successful you get the better Girls feel about your one night stand. Mm-hmm Like yeah, you know I'm saying like the more like if you're just some bum Man, he really tricked me out of some pussy, but like If you start really making it all of a sudden it was like it's a story. Yeah crazy week in vegas, right? You're not some douchebag that said you were a doctor, so yeah, you're not some fucking landscaper or something that you know You got head behind a wendy's right exactly. So But yeah, so and he came up to new york and he produced the news

um In in new york and he did like these really cool stories Like he did the first ever story on like hip-hop music like with like russell simons And like he went up to the fronks and like grandmaster flash and all these guys Like he did this really cool shit and he was always and he did a story on my mom and then uh, they just started dating and then you know, I I became me and then uh, he started working with my mom and like Basically running the dance studio from like the managerial side and they just taught partner dance. It was really cool

And they just did some some great stuff and they they're like the perfect example of like you just do something good And then good things end up happening for you Yeah, literally just like preserved certain dance forms that weren't popular But like my dad just thought that they were beautiful my mom thought they were beautiful They didn't want them to die So like swing was one of them like he was like my dad will get written out of the history books with swing But like the swing resurgence is because of my dad In the 90s you mean?

Yeah, like so Literally he went up to this club I think it was called the cotton club in like harlem and they were going and he would go because there was this dance And he would see like no kids were there dancing swing and he was asking the The guy and girl who put it on this old blood. He's all black couple. He's like, what's happening to the dancer Why isn't it being passed on to the next generation? And they were just like yeah, the youth doesn't care. So like he like asked this guy who was one of the original savoy dancers Like from the savoy ballroom or whatever

Maybe it was a savoy ballroom and um, I don't even know what that is. So that's Foley's never been in a ballroom. So I've been in a ball pit Yeah, it's a little it's a little nicer than the cotton club It's not in harlem So so yeah, so they just like he was like, hey, can you just teach this dance to some of our teachers? We'd like to just like keep this going and my parents would call these like swing dances like like at random like restaurants and stuff like that Just creating a place for people to go out and like partner dance since they were teaching lessons

And then swing exploded Like yeah Exploded that it was hot for a while. It was huge in LA too. It was there was a thing called west coast swing in LA There was that movie swingers where? And the the style of swing that my parents taught and that was taught in my parent school by these like swing legends Um ends up becoming the big style and none of the other studios taught that style So everyone came there. It was like the perfect example of like, you know, just do things for the right reason and then you'll get rewarded monetarily and um

I just remember going to the studio and there'd be a fucking 40 people in every single room and the studio got bigger and it was like What a crazy thing So we're talking about classy people here and I like that but this is the one thing I want to know They're like Well immigrants can go either way real scottish woman from like the hood outside Glasgow like if I say her neighborhood to scottish people, they're like, oh like real Rough shit. Yeah, we found out this show is called. Are you garbage or were you raised by immigrant parents sometimes? So it's like the same it's the same thing, right?

um Before we get to the questions I just want to know take me on a typical night as specific as possible now when you say the east village so You're what 35 36 So you're talking you're 12 13 mid 90s, right? Yeah, does that make sense? Yeah 83. I was born 83. Yeah. Yeah, so The east village in the fucking 90s you're 12 13 years old. You're obviously not going out with your parents What are you and your boys doing like are you guys hopping the train? Are you going out to fucking coney island?

Not leaving the city. I 12 13 12 13 is early man. I'm trying to think like 12 13 maybe were I wonder if we were even going to play pool. We're probably just going to see a movie What we did was there was I forget the exact age of this but we figured out how to sneak into my local movie theater There we go Movie theater had like this back both of them. There's one on left and third and the other one was on 12th and second And both of them have this back entrance. So if we got one person to buy a ticket

We could go in and then sneak in The rest of us through the side entrance and then we figured out how to use like All the back places where they like put the garbage, you know, like they clean out the movie theaters And then they go through that little exit sign. You know, there's like an exit sign right next to the screen And we found out like how to kind of like get through so we just watched movies I think that was around that age. That's like middle school, right? Middle school or something like that. But yeah, I was born. You don't do anything as a kid in the city You know, like my private school friends, they weren't even really they weren't even doing a lot of drugs or anything by then

It's a weird age 12 13. You're not doing anything in the city. I picture like basketball diaries That's what I picture you guys all high school though High school shit gets crazy high school. Really? Yeah, that's when like That's when like you see the kids start fucking with drugs and then like the private school kids Like they realize their parents don't really care about them that much So they start like acting up and hoping to get attention so they're throwing parties at their house And then all the hood kids are coming to the parties to sell in the weed and they're stealing from the house It's like a law and order episode

Bro, I would have private school friends of mine that would call me and and specifically They'd be like, yo, do you think you could bring your black friends? We got this fight uptown and we just But they say my black friend Like don't you you might be able to fight you might be able to fight But if you just bring the black guys, they'll be intimidated in this one. Yeah, don't but don't bring don't bring tommy with you Yeah, yeah, yeah, we need your meal. I love that different times man It's crazy because like from suburban kids to think of having Especially the fucking east village having that as your backyard crazy, dude

It blows our minds and i'm sure you know the opposite But dude, you know what it is. It's like You have all this freedom because you can walk around and it's there's all this shit going on around But you can't do any of this shit. So it's like when you're in the suburbs You walk around your cul-de-sac and there's nothing to do And I have better shit to look at but it's actually worse because I'm just looking at all the shit I'm not allowed to do yet. Right. Yeah I'm just as bored and people are having fun. Yeah, they said like most crime happens in areas where like, uh

You're like there's relative poverty where it's like the poor people live right next to the rich people People see how poor they are But like in Haiti, you're not stealing because you're like, oh, yeah that guy's poor too So it's like that's what it was so Yeah, we got an earlier start probably around like 17 18 We probably started going to bars and clubs and that kind of shit Earlier years you're just fucking bored to playing video games. You're doing nothing You're trying to like tap the your cable box to get channel 35. That was like

We were doing the same things that was one of my questions too Oh, yeah, dude. I mean like my mom fucked up like classic Like poor immigrant thing the second she got some money. She just got the cable package with everything She just went everything right? My mom did weird flexes with her money like She the second they started to make money my mom got a cleaning lady to come three days a week Who she might be garbage But because that's her thing is like of all the ways you could spend your money, right? Like you could like develop like trusts so you could find different ways. My mom was like, I don't want to do

I don't want to vacuum like that I don't want to do laundry ever again. I don't vacuum ever again three days a week Monday. Wednesday Friday Like I just smelled like fresh laundry at school every single day at least she spaced it out I like the fact that she spaced it out because it would have been real trashy If she had them as she hadn't come three days in a row. Yeah, and then fucking thursday to sunday. You guys are fucking struggling All right, perfect. Yeah, that was it. So there's a bit of a new money aspect. That's yeah interesting My mom is pure new money. Yeah So was my dad dude. It was the same way. Yeah, and my dad is more like

Uh, my dad is like end of money Dad's family Had money back in like the 1800s. Sure. Yeah Jesus Like that money slowly that like my dad's family business was called auto typists and there were typewriters Like my grandfather like my great-grandfather. I think we're the typewriter business. So like basically you're just seeing the Right. Yeah, I like falling apart, but rich people don't stop acting like they're rich. Yes. No, not at all Not at all, dude. They got to keep up appearances. May especially man hat or new york

You got to keep up fucking appearances I remember my girl telling me like her grandparents like They were broke by the time that they Were like dead pretty much but They may maybe like they had like 150 000 dollars They like gave away 100 000 of that 150 000 to charity because that's what rich people did like So they had the show. Yeah, they were rather front like they had money that had people. Wow

So your dad's not your dad's not like driving around in the city in his own limousine like driving and then hopping in the back My dad was wasn't part of the generation with like money money. It was part of the end of it Yeah, but that legacy kind of stuck through Not with him like he has zero ego zero any of that kind of stuff Like he's one of six kids, you know, I mean like he actually like enlisted instead of like, you know fake Like he couldn't get into the honor And he had flat feet or what everybody else in the family probably did as much or something. Yeah, exactly So it's like

Now he's a real one about it, but it just is interesting to see that like kind of downward trend You know, okay the opposite like she's like on the come up. So she's like, ah, what can you do with money cleaning ladies? Yeah, yeah, for sure. We have this is how what do you do with money? He's like save it It goes Yeah, balance your savings account every month, you know what I mean reconcile that shit I think we need to donate this to a museum. Yeah, right. We're getting a new whirlpool. What are you talking about? I love it. Um, all right. So that's a pretty good dynamic. Thank that that's good info. So that kind of gives us, uh That gives us a lot to work with here. I want to start, uh, the re garbage questions in the house with the with your mom from Scotland

um What uh, like what kind of soap would you guys use in the shower? Did you have like a bottle? of like bar bar soap bar soap like irish spring or something like that like cheap shit like you have to understand like scottish people are cheap Yeah, there isn't aren't they like the cheapest like cheapest, but here's like You have to understand like my parent we moved into the dance studio. So we had a 4 000 square foot Loft Jesus, right?

That was a dance studio and my mom like tricked the people in the building Because it was this is down in the east village where you had to be an artist to buy So my mom's like, yeah, I teach dance lessons and they're like, oh They'll have like one person in there every once in a while not fucking like 80 people at a time running up and down using the elevator breaking Shit leaving you there. Well, you know, so everybody in the building fucking hated us The the business did well and then we moved in so we had this place But of course my mom is like irish spring support had in shoulders. I didn't have anything in my refrigerator my entire life We ate every meal was delivery. My mom does not know how to cook to save her fucking life

Really for red sauce I'm telling you you it's just you can't imagine it. It's just like That's pretty trashy. So like no snacks in the house growing up. No nothing I mean maybe for rollips if I really leaned in and picked them like we had cereal boxes Right, but it was every meal was ordered in chili I would make the chili and the canned chili if I was hungry for like a snack But there wasn't like I remember going to like people's houses and like you go over there And the moms are like making you sandwiches and shit and I was like, what the fuck?

No, I literally when I first met italian people. I was like, my mom not love me like I literally didn't understand it. I was like, I know what's going on Like I thought my mom loved me, but then these italian moms they just feed you and they give you drinks and snacks and There was a cabinet that had like all the snacks. Oh, yeah. Oh, dude, italian moms run a tight fucking ship, dude Dude, I haven't What am I growing up his name is derrick yadger off jewish kid They had a fucking pantry. There was a whole door you opened up. It was like a walk-in closet

Just yeah Rolla bars and snacks and chewy bars and all this other shit. I just go in there and open it I'd look through it and I just close it It was like some instagram models like Yeah, just I gotta get the fuck out of here. I don't even take anything. Yeah, no, but it was just amazing that it existed Dude, I remember the first time I went to my buddy's house same thing They were new like new money as that was a construction worker There was really no money there

We found out at the at the end of when that went that could win that train crash But they opened up dude I remember opening up his pantry door was a walk-in and he had fruit roll-ups fruit by the foot and gushers I was like, dude, this is like i09 at the fucking at Whole Foods. Oh, it was fucking clean living. That is the truck man Love a good pantry. Damn. That's that's a he's painting a picture man So with that being said, I want to work backwards a little bit. All right as far as the already garbage questions Um, have you ever taken a full-size pillow on an airplane?

Oh, definitely not. Okay. That's fucking trash. Yeah That's that's bargain. That's a bargain ticket right there. That's a middle seat If you're walking on a fucking plane with a full-size pillow, you're getting in a middle seat crazy. No, no, no Um, okay. Why we're still alive when you travel Will you buy a meal like in the terminal and then take it on the plane and eat it? Uh, if I'm yes, you'll eat anything like if you get a if you get like a burger You'll take a burger on the plane and eat it. No because so here's the thing. This is the reason why I do it I usually wouldn't I just eat whatever the fuck is on the plane

Like I've been trying to not eat, uh, like bread Yeah refined sugar Because it makes me kind of constipated and also i'm vain and like I get to stay in better shape without working out as much Sure. Oh, you can't do that on the plane. Everything on the plane is like a version of nuts Hold on or something like bread whatever Fuck it. Let me just get some asian shit while i'm in the airport like some kind of ice and like chicken or whatever Okay, I'll do 100% operating it on the plane without a doubt. Okay

Speaking of constipation. Will you shit on an airplane? I will shit in any location. Really? I can shit anywhere I put the shit on an airplane. I enjoy it. I look forward to it If I have to take a ship before we're about to take off. I hold it So I can sit on the airplane. Yeah, there's part of you that's crazy. You all you do have this like You do have a fucking wild side to you. I love some would say that's garbage. I'm like that too. I can shit anywhere I don't even care about to put in the paper. Do you put the you put the toilet paper on the seat or any of that bullshit? I'm not gay Bro, I wipe the bowl so I can go cheek to bowl. Yeah, I'll do that. I'll do that

Well for me unless I'm cheek to bowl. I have to feel my skin touching Bowl, yeah, I gotta spread my bubble out. Yeah, that's poopy going definitely that option Very interesting. All right. So you take your shoes off on the plane Depends depends on what? So this is this could be a good gauge It's how long the flight is and it's also how tight the sneaker is like my feet will swell up on a fucking plane I got a tight sneaker. Yeah, I'll do it. But if I'm wearing some blue shit with the laces undone I'm not I'll rock it for a couple hours

But you'll keep them underneath the seat Like a gentleman, you're not like flaunting your feet around. Oh, no, I'm not no no no that being said actually no No, you know how I sit on planes. This is what I do I put one foot in between the armrest in front of me and then the other foot in between the armrest in front That's fucking that is garbage. That's garbage Schultz. I'm at the guino, baby That's what I Okay, I need my pappas mirror That is trash dude. You were behind kevin. He would fucking lose it. Oh dude

You got to bump my foot down if I bang into your elbow It's staying there until you do something. Oh my god. I can't look at you the same anymore joltz I can't look at you the same. Okay. Wow. I think you're and also gender is not an issue to me If you're a woman and I bump the elbow and you come back You have to nudge my foot off of the armrest and then I'll let you have it But I got to see if you have I gotta see if it falls this guy is nuts That's my fucking seat rest. I like that. I like that put up

I put the foot up there before we take off so middle seat knows what's going on Has anyone ever been like what the fuck are you doing all the time? All right, I weirdly feel entitled to it because I'm tall So I'm just like it's so uncomfortable for me back here Like you should know that I'm gonna try to stretch out Sure. Yeah, terrible rationalization, but I get it. I don't know for me. It's like I'm suffering And like I actually really resent when I feel like shorter people take the Bigger leg room or like exit seat like I don't think that should be allowed in a lot of ways

I know you're supposed to like You know, it's a meritocracy and everybody's willing to pay more money. They should be able to access it I don't think this should be allowed I don't think it should be allowed I don't know. I like if you could if you buy the seat you buy the seat. That's what I like go up front you poor fuck Yeah, that's the problem. That's that's that's poor person's first class right there But it's not like you're spending 15 more dollars than me. I would have spent the money too asshole It's just yeah, if I could have got there. Yeah, it's in three days before the flight. Yeah, yeah, yeah

So it's just like just give me that I need that I require that Fully has to reserve his seatbelt extenders before he gets on the plane. Yeah, that happened that happened once man That was so embarrassing Bro, you got to cut that shit out cut that bad shit out. I'm working. I'm working on it It was double embarrassing because I was the I was in the the place where you might have to do something If something happens to open the door Yeah, you're the hero and for yeah, I was in the hero aisle and I needed a seat extender And the guy came up and he was like, hey man, listen if you need a seat extender

You can't be in the hero aisle. All right. We don't want you We yeah, we don't want you clogging up the doorway fatty So not only did they move they had to ask two in-shape guys To be in the hero seat and like some fucking boy scout in the bag He's like, I have no problem doing it. And then I had to get up with my girlfriend go sit in his seat And then the guy came back a couple minutes later and handed me the seat belt Dude, holy shit. Now. Do you think they were worried at all if you were the first person that jumped out? Did other people like jump on top of you like you were the boat?

Quick get on his neck They're hanging on to me like leo in the titanic Dude, dude, that's the most tragic. I would have cried if I saw that and if I saw that in real real time That's terrible. This is how garbage. This is how garbage I am the second that they got that snack card out I was fucking double fist and cheetos two seconds. Yeah Jesus Christ Let me ask you this. What is the most expensive pair of sweatpants that you currently own? Because that's class to me

I usually get my sweatpants when I oh, I'm having I have an ame pair of sweatpants. Uh That's probably pretty expensive. I don't know. I'm a day. What is it leon or something like that? I don't even know what the fuck that is. Holy shit. That sounds like some fucking illuminati. Shit. I like it Let me look if I don't know what it is fully definitely doesn't know what it is. Let's put it that way It's ame leon dorey It sounds fancy the guy's from fucking queens. It's like, uh, okay But it's like a fancy street wear brand. I'm gonna try and see how much Um, they can't be more than three hundo

No, no, okay. Okay I think probably A hundred and change maybe That for a for a high end I mean for a high end sweatpants. That's what they're going for At most that's pretty expensive to me At most 200 but you have to understand like I get most of my, um Sweatpants when I'm in portland and I go to the nike employee store

Yeah, I'm doing shows when I hit the nike employee store. It's 40% of everything in the store Yeah, so it's like I don't buy the nike track suits or whatever. I'm getting a half off That's what I'm flying in. Shelters isn't the outlets Essentially the thing about the nike employer is it's all the new shit. Don't you have to have an in or can you just get in? You got an in Come on. He's got an in. What are you talking about? He's wearing $200 per sweatpants. This is my city. Okay It's my city All right, I got I got one. This is something me and foley were talking about the other day. Um

Guys, if you had to go to uh, like an event, you know I mean you were going to a first holy communion or something along the lines And you had to wear a basket you had to wear a sports jersey Okay, what is the classiest and least classy sports jersey out of like a football jersey a basketball jersey To not wear to a sporting event You got to put it on. What's the trashiest one? starting first Oh, no, what's the worst one to wear to a?

Yeah, yes, not a sporting event Oh, but without a doubt Okay, mixed jersey like some basketball jerseys the worst you think like you could actually wear Bro, what are you gonna? What else? The opposite I think I say the opposite Hold on. Hold on. I'll wear I'll wear a six this jersey to a wedding A baseball jersey has buttons You could argue that it's somewhat fancy. I'll give you that I'll give you that

I'll give you that I'll give you the buttons the buttons that you got a button up right there That's a button. That's a button up. That's a fully functional button up. So I would say The fanciest without a doubt is a rugby jersey because it's like that's a sweater. They're called sweaters. I think right It's got a collar like I would wear that out. I wear that to me like my girl's parents or something like that. Yeah, okay easy What basketball jersey has got to be the worst thing to wear to anything? I don't know. I feel like there's no point in time. You should ever wear be be wearing like a football jersey To anything that's not a football game if I You ever see some just a dude eating dinner in a football jersey

That's not a nice restaurant. I guarantee you that Like a ram's jersey. That's fucking garbage. Yeah, especially if he's not in the city that he's living in, you know what I mean Yeah, dude, you can't even make football jerseys look cool. Like no because they got the elastic on the arms It looks like you got a fucking shoulder pads on Yeah, dude, you can only wear a football jersey if you're that guy Like yeah, you're wearing a football jersey. You should have been playing football recently. Yes. Yeah Yes, that's that's my only point That's pretty bad. No, I've never had a football jersey. I don't think I'll fuck with a little basketball jersey every now and again

Yeah, for sure. Okay All right, grow it up. Did your family ever have sherbert? Yeah, probably that's trashy. Did you guys have beans? Did your mom ever make you beans for breakfast? That's a big scottish thing big beans for breakfast. No, I honestly don't remember her making us breakfast really Dude, that's bad if you're doing if you're doing takeout breakfast. That's fucking she's gonna take out breakfast I don't know about takeout But like my dad would go out and he'd get like a pound cake and some bagels Or like we'd have cereal there that we could eat

I'm telling you there wasn't food in my house growing up But not because my parents didn't have money It was just like They were busy doing other shit like yeah, yeah My mom my mom never learned the rules to having money. That's a generational wealth thing where they're like Have different types of superware and have nice folded cloths and like All these little things that rich people need to do with their money to like prove that they're actually rich to each other My mom never learned that so she didn't care about it. She didn't value it

Like my mom didn't care about having a nice car. She's like, we'll just get the thing where we could put enough stuff Where we could go to the beach You know what I mean? So she's like She treated cars like she was like I said it too. She's like just get me a fucking Toyota Sienna Yeah And then we could go to the beach You know Like like that one

Toyota Corolla that I I I was either I was given Uh by my cousin my putt my cousin gave it to me white Toyota Corolla. Oh, that's a tough look on a car I don't like all this bad news. That's pretty trashy Drove it across America was free drove it across America. I land at my school I dropped my friends off that drove across America with me as I'm exiting their driveway Slam into a boulder 3000 miles As much as like denting the car a little bit right on the way out of their drive

Jesus Christ Talk about bad fucking luck Badness badness. Yeah Oh, Jesus. All right. This is fun. I like this. Yeah. Thank you. It's a good time, man All right, so now now obviously you got your own spot. Are you live with your girl? Or no. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, we live live with your lady Uh, do you guys do do you have laundry in house in the building or do you do drop-off service? Pick up sir. You got one in the unit

Whoo Damn, that's fucking clean. This kid's guys living This guy's a kennedy. Holy shit. I had that for a little bit as you get on here right now. Let's go and screw it around I don't find the next question is what's the pin number? What's the pin number? I need the last four digits of your social and your mother's made me That's what I need Yeah, now my place I have a place in Gramercy

Uh, that does not have laundry in unit Okay But laundry in the building you gotta go downstairs. That's a saving grace a little bit not that many people use it It's not like you're at like the fucking coin out place Humping laundry and with a bunch of you know housewives. It's got a nice credit card thing that you put into not your credit card But like Yeah, it's a little bit more fancy. Yeah They're clean living you know pump you're not pumping quarters like a jerk off. There we go

I got a question for you In your place now Because I know it's a different situation growing up in your place now Is the big question on are you garbage? Where do you keep your ketchup and where do you keep your syrup? Because growing up the syrup was in the fridge and Might have been in the fridge too All right, that's one that that's one out of two It should be open bottle of ketchups in the refrigerator

And an open bottle of syrup is left in the cabinet I agree right I I need to leave the syrup out Um ketchup is a doozy, but all I try to leave almost all condiments out Maybe barbecue sauce I keep in there Yeah, you gotta keep a cold barbecue sauce. You need a cold barbecue sauce If you have butter in the house, what do you keep the butter you keep it in the fridge you keep it out of the counter No, this is class The butter's outside the fridge dude. It's on the counter. No

Garbage that's garbage dog What do you think about that Kevin? Garbage garbage garbage garbage. No, dude, that's It shows doesn't that's it. That's a staple right now Buddy, I'll tell you I'll tell you garbage Garbage people have a fear of things going bad So they put everything in the fridge when it doesn't have to be class That they cover the butter with and they just leave it on the counter because

They want that butter ready to be sliced and put on top of a piece of bread at a moment So that's some frozen fucking block that you got to like mash into the bagel and cut through half the bagel to get it You leave the butter out. It's not even a question. It's not even a question No, no, that's no, okay It's different though, but at night. Oh, so this is my thing you can keep it out You want to be uh, listen, I grew up I grew up with the With the with the glass thing with the top and the butter in there I grew up with that, but the butter sleeps in the fridge. It's got to sleep in the fridge

You can't leave the butter out overnight for five for a week Honestly, dude, I have no fucking clue, bro If my girl puts it back in the fridge, she does I have no clue every time I see her using butter It's out of the fridge. So I assume it's always there. I've never taken it out. I've never put it back in So I'm not exactly sure. I assume you leave it out if it's pure class Do not I do not know Actually, can I tell you what I think it is? Go ahead. I think you have one piece of in the outside thing

And then the rest of the butter Stays in the fridge Sure. Yeah, you better not have this only put the piece that's in the outside thing It could be half a stick. I think that's what it is Okay, okay suspicion. Okay. I'll give you that. I'll give you that a little bit. Yeah We'll yeah, we're breaking up a little bit. We'll clean it up. It's fine That's uh, that's all I got for you. So it's kippy. You got any more questions? I think I got one or two more real quick real quick here

I'm still baffled by that feet on the feet on the armrest on the plane. That's still fucking baffles my mind Family vacation, where would you guys go on family vacation anywhere that uh, I would bully my family into going to Places with good surfing because I grew up surfing weirdly So I'd be like, yo, don't we want to go to Costa Rica? It's there all the family vacations usually Revolved around my hobbies like surfing or skateboarding and that kind of show okay But yeah, okay. All right. My mother hated that. She's like here. I am first time I gotta go watch this fucking kids surf Yeah

Okay, uh, I gotta say after the butter thing and just an argument that you put forth through it You're all class in my book and I do have one more question I want to hit you with um, and I know it's going to be a yes to all this It's going to put it over the top that Schultz. He is all class. Have you ever dated any of the following? You ready? Okay A model Yes An actor

Yes A professional singer Defined professional Open mic singer, I'll give you something like that Like once firing singer shorts, okay That's all class in my book hippie. Yeah clean living. I don't know. He's got a couple of blemishes in the file, but Overall, we think you're all class shelter. Thank you so much for sitting in with this Is there anything you want the folks out there to know that they that they might not know which I doubt it

But anything you want to let them know anyway, I'm I'm comfortable Um, I'm comfortable with whatever your guys assessment is if it's if it's trash if it's class either way I'm honored to be judged by you guys. I love you I wish you the best of luck with this man And I can't wait to get back into the clubs and do some shows with you guys soon Thanks again guys everybody make sure you check out Andrew Schoeps. He's all over just about everywhere You can possibly think of this guy is there if you don't already know which I'm sure you do

That's why you're listening to this. Check him out the king Andrew Schoeps. Thank you, buddy. See you guys