Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Are You Garbage Goes to Etiquette School! (w/ Myka Meier)

Episode Date: August 5, 2024

Are You Garbage is back with Kippy and Foley for a special episode to take the boys to Etiquette School! Myka Meier, Etiquette coach to the stars, helps Are You Garbage prepare for any classy affair. Its a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! AYG Live Show Tickets: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ True Classic: https://www.trueclassic.com/garbage Code: Garbage Blue Chew: https://bluechew.com/ Promo Code: Garbage Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is it garbage to run out of gas and the parent pick up line in school? What did this happen? And they still made it to the show baby! Let's go! I got a feeling the car's still in the school. Gang, AYG Live, AYG Live, AYG Live. Grab the squad and come out and see the boys in Red Bank, New Jersey, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, and all along that Route 66 tour.

All tickets available at RUgarbage.com. Welcome to another exciting edition of RU Garbage, the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H Foley. Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is R U Garbage. Oh yeah. It's that little show we sit there with your favorite comedians and we find that after

group to be classy. Yeah. Or just a big old piece of trash. Tr Oh, yeah, it's that little show We sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find that after group to be classy Yeah, or just a big old piece of trash trash trash. I'm your host H fully coming at you on a beautiful day We're out back here at Tooties in the new edition. She's off to an equestrian event Okay, she's at the track. What are you gonna do my coast is coming at you right next to me He is the CEO of are you garbage? He is an international businessman and my best pal in the whole wide world Give it up for KJ Kevin James Ryan everybody. What up gang? Thanks for tuning in as always Please make sure you review subscribe on iTunes full video available on YouTube as you know Those numbers are true to Roof cooking and obviously the greatest website of all time

www.patreon.com slash are you garbage you go over there for all your bonus content needs gang love that money and having a nice Shout out to our producer extraordinaire. The old magic man makes us all look good, works the ones, the twos, the threes and the fours. He's wearing his best thrashers. Tune up for T-Bone Mcscruffins, Toby McMullen everybody. Good afternoon, gentlemen. Thank you for that most illustrious intro. My two esteemed colleagues while taking shots at

my attire. I think I look like pretty dapper. Yeah, you're looking you're going to court if I'm being honest with you. Well, I look forward to our guests correcting our most bozo tendencies. Yes, we do gang the long hair ain't lying because we couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly and I mean incredibly special guest here with us. Dave, the first time she's going to straighten this out with the old etiquette. Yeah, she is the founder and director of Beaumont Etiquette. All right. She is also a best of Beaumont Etiquette.

All right. She is also a bestselling author of Modern Etiquette Made Easy and Business Etiquette Made Easy. She has been featured on Your Mother Seen Her at the Jennifer Hudson Show, The Today Show, Vogue Magazine, Time, The New York Times, Harper's Bazaar. She is the global ambassador for the Princess Grace Foundation. She is a very big supporter of nonprofits for children all over the world. She's also the founder of the Plaza Hotel's

finishing program and she's on tour in the fall. You can see her in Chicago, New York, Los Angeles, Austin. She just helped Snoop Dogg get ready for the Olympics. How you doing? Give it up for Micah Meyer, everybody. Hey! There we go. Thank you, warm welcome.

Thank you so much. I apologize for my crew. I feel like I should have put a collar on at least. I'm the only person without a collar shirt on right now. Feels like a job application or job interview for me. Micah, thank you for coming in. We have a lot of questions for you. We've debated heavily over the years about what's

the right thing to do, this, that, the other thing. And we finally have you here to to guide us. It's an honor. I'm really excited to hear what has been going on. Dare I ask? Yeah. How did you get your start in this? How did you get into etiquette? It was actually out of insecurity. I was I didn't grow

up with etiquette at all. And from Florida I saw I know I get the good fireworks Yeah, you know it's I am a Floridian and a proud Floridian, but I didn't practice a lot of good etiquette back in the day You could say and I was living in London Contractually obligated on the show. Hello. And I actually, my boyfriend at the time, told me I should take an etiquette class.

Really? Because, yes, which is the last thing you wanted to hear from someone you're dating. Well, the Europeans are different with the etiquette. They're very different. If I first time over there, I got laughed at in Germany for how I hold a knife and a fork. Exactly, which is where I was.

I was in that place. And so he suggested I take an etiquette class. And I did. And I kind of went kicking and screaming, didn't really want to go. And I left. And I was mind blown at what I learned. And I could not wait to take another class.

OK. Yeah. I mean, being ch not wait to take another class. Okay. Yeah. That's, I mean, being chained into it's pretty crazy. I'm at University of Florida. Like I'm like a big- You should be on Gator somewhere. I really should be. So it was, yes.

What did your parents do growing up? My dad is from Barbados. My mom is from Boston. And so we kind of grew up sailing and barefoot on boats. My mom's side of the family owns a construction company. Okay. And my dad. You're an etiquette, okay.

Yeah, and my dad in a marine, like a boating career, so we didn't really, but they were really, you know what it was? We wouldn't have real silver or anything like that, but they were very into respect. It was very much like little kids would be respectful and say, yes ma'am, no sir. It was about kindness.

So from a young, young age, that was really ingrained, which is actually the more important part of etiquette. Sure, of course. So that's, yeah. So I took my first etiquette course as an adult. What did the boyfriend do at the time where you guys were running? I feel like high society, you know, he he's sweat. He wasn't a peaky blinder It was no peaky. He wasn't a peaky blinder. Um, but he's Swiss. He's very

Conservative, I guess you could say in many ways buttoned up very buttoned up Yeah, he never leaves home without a collared shirt kind of thing and and so Toby are you Swiss yeah yeah so it was a big big difference I'm sweating so bad I feel like I'm wearing a full suit right now that's what he yeah I mean okay all right but you know the good news though in the end I married him that's a good so that's who you married that's your husband that's my husband whoa you made it seem like he was a guy you know spring fling or's you know, spring fling or something. You're throwing pistachios on the floor. I married him, so it was worth the etiquette course. Yeah. Wow, that's awesome. Wow, very interesting. Okay. All right. I would say, I mean, how do you want to, how do you want to

get into this? I mean, I got a million questions for her. Okay, I guess first of all, we tried to, you know, make the addition as nice as possible. We got a tablecloth for you. I love it. How is the setting? What do you notice wrong? What do you notice right and what do you notice wrong right away? Because there was a bit of discussion over the setting. Right.

So it's actually not bad. The only thing I would say is that the glasses are on the wrong side of the table. It should be on the right. It should be on your right. I told you that. No, you didn't. the right. It should be on the right. It should be on your right. I told you that. No, you didn't. You set them.

No, I didn't. I have experience in fine dining. Okay, but that was one, that's the first big thing. The smaller fork should be on the outside. Just be careful, we're gonna return those. Okay. Just be careful with them. Those would be the salad forks.

Those would be the salad forks. The salad pork would go on the outside. And then otherwise, it actually looks pretty good. Two spoons? Well, it depends on what courses. It depends on how many courses you're having. So if you had this many courses, then yes, you'd set this many. We've got five guys coming.

But if you just had, for example, one course, then you would just have a fork and a knife. You don't need all the others. You only put down what you're going to use okay and I feel like this is too many plates is that too many plates this is a bread plate so that also should be on the left not in the middle of the plate okay bread plate goes to the left so if you actually think think about the car think about BMW bread meal water wine coffee tea there you go I got my shit set up BMW, bread, meal, water, wine, coffee, tea. So BMW.

I didn't know that. There you go. I got my shit set up Beamer style. Let me ask you this. Okay. Sit down at the table. When does the napkin go over the leg? Okay, so if you're at a restaurant,

the moment you sit, it goes on the leg. If you're at a private home, you wait until the host or the hostess puts it on their lap and then you follow. But who's got these kind of napkins at their house? Swiss people. Swiss people. Not those hooligans you grew up with. Over the leg right? Okay but here's how you do it. There's an actual way you put it. Oh I love this episode dude. Okay here we go ready so you take it and then see how there's a seam? You put the seam folded in. Okay. Then, here we have a crease.

That crease faces your belly button, like this. My belly button? Yep, yep. So that the opening of the napkin faces away from you. So the crease is touching your belly button, the opening of the napkin is away from you. What's the purpose? Is there a purpose or is that just?

The purpose, yes. There's always a purpose. Put your chicken bones in there. Sometimes, in an emergency. But here, what we do is we bring the napkin up to our mouths. We don't go down. We bring it up to our mouths. And then you can open it. And then you hide.

You take your stains. And you can hide them. Whoa. You just blew my mind. So it doesn't go over. So I do this. And then I do this. I put it over my right leg.

Exactly. But then if you wipe your mouth, then everybody sees your stains. That's my problem is it's always very leg. Exactly. But then if you wipe your mouth and everybody sees your stains. That's my problem is it's always very dirty. Exactly. Looks like a murder scene if it's spaghetti. And how do you feel about this? Is he does this sometimes? I'm no no tucking ever. No, never. But I ruined so many shirts. Well, not after today. I'm gonna help you. I'm gonna help you. You're gonna have to be a goddamn miracle worker for him not to ruin shirts. I'm already ruining the table. I'm gonna try. I'm gonna try.

And okay, so what if you know, all right, let's say you're eating and there's something in you know, a piece of cartilage something that you don't like. Right. Where does that go? Cuz I'm Spitting it right in there, right? So that's an emergency etiquette scenario, and that is when you could do that. If you have, let's say, a sharp fish bone or something like that. But if you are getting a gristle or something like that, I think your bites are too big.

That's the point. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Yeah, yeah. I did not make an accusation. I did not invite you here to be accused. So that would be, maybe I'm wrongly assuming, but if you're getting a piece of gristle. No, you're not. You're a whole T-bone bone in your mouth. Oh, no, you're right'm wrongly assuming but if you're getting

Bone bone in your mouth. You're right on the money. Yeah, you're right on the money So I would take smaller bites so you can feel when you're cutting you can you can cut when you're cutting you feel the black out if I'm being honest, I Ask you this to be to be Total candor. I don't know if that's the right word Try to oppress you I'm impressed. My nose runs a little bit when I eat. When you eat everything.

So a lot of times. Yeah, what can what? Yeah, I'll have I'll do a little bit of that. Yeah, I feel about that. I don't feel good about it. Your husband definitely would. I don't feel good about it. Your husband definitely would have dumped you. Here's the reason why.

Because we pass these on to the next person. So imagine the person before you. I agree. Even if you wash them, right? It just feels a. I'm right there with you. So instead, I think. Where do we get the hotels you're going to eat?

You know, this is like an old fashioned either like, you just bring some Kleenexx and that's what I would use I would take that out of the- Can you excuse yourself? You can if you need to but if it's constantly running at the table, that's impossible You could get into a doctor I think is the main thing here Then you need a good ENT I went to him, he said everything was cool I would just have Kleenex like just like something in your pocket that you can use instead of the napkin

How do you feel about handkerchiefs by the way? You know, I like them. A lot of people say they're unsanitary, but I really like them. It's a very gentlemanly, kind of traditional gentlemanly accessory that a lot of people still use. But that's fine. You just got to watch what colors you use

in the wrong neighborhood, you know what I mean? Jesus. And read just relax. Go to LA. OK. I think this episode is going to cause so many future fights at dinner We're like well Mike has said not to do that We should we should have prepped you by letting you know that Foley is the final boss of etiquette. Yeah

Challenge okay. It's tough. Okay speaking of which I've taken a lot of heat over the last couple years on tour with these guys as far as my sneezing and coughing Etiqu's bad. It's violent. What is the proper way to handle that? We'll start with the sneeze. The sneeze, I think the sneeze is actually the correct etiquette is in the arm. Elbow.

In the elbow. Okay. Not this. Yeah, it's the elbow now. That's kind of a post-COVID thing, actually. It used to be in the hand. If you do sneeze in your hand, it's always your left hand. Because your right is what we meet, greet, shake hands with.

You lead with the right. Right? So your right hand's more your public hand in that way. So you would sneeze in your left hand if you needed to. But I think right now, it's the arm crease. I always thought classy people shook hands like that. They give you this The oh with the last hand. Oh like a what like a lady would do that right? No

No, like what's that? We're like, yeah Well, that would be if if somebody reached out for her hand then she could put I mean she could put whatever hand she wanted But I would never shake hands with the left hand No, and also, you know, the other thing, is when people sit while shaking hands, that's probably the biggest no-no. Okay. Don't ever shake somebody's hand while you're sitting down.

Correct, you always stand. Whoa. To show respect. What about the kissing of the hand thing? Who are you hanging out with, dude? I mean. Dude, don't listen. Okay, sorry.

I don't think a lot of people would want their hand to be kissed nowadays. I think it's super old fashioned. Yes. What about the double kiss on the cheek? So that's interesting. European. Well, a lot of New Yorkers do the kiss, I think.

I get kissed a lot. They want to be Europeans. The double kiss? In LA. I think LA, Miami, kind of. Yeah, but anyway, I think it's, so the one thing to remember, it's always right cheek to right cheek. That way, and if you remember that, you're not going to kiss somebody thing to remember it's always right cheek to right cheek that way And if you remember that you're not going to kiss somebody's nose, so you always lead with the right, right?

So we're going in where I'm coming into the right like this and you are coming into the right So we never have that awkward like oh, I would never do that and it's one kiss in America Two kisses in Europe or even some countries like Switzerland. It's three. Can you imagine kissing? Yeah, yeah, it's a lot, it's very intimate. That's a lot of kisses. It's a lot of kisses. Wait, kiss, kiss, kiss? Right, so-

Last one's on the lips. Right down the barrel. Sometimes, sometimes, no. Now, would you ever do that to somebody you've never met? Or that's like a reintroduction, like you're seeing them again, oh, hey, good to see ya, smooch, smooch, smooch. In Switzerland, it's after you've met them.

So I made the mistake once, very early on in my career, and I was just kissing everybody. I was like, oh, just three kisses. There you go. Those Americans are wacky, yeah. Kind of, and you could see the reaction was, and instantly I was like, okay, this isn't right, this isn't right.

So I would say it's more somebody you have already built rapport with. Okay. Gotcha. Now let's get back to a restaurant. You had this. How long? All right. I have so many questions.

Let's say you sit, there's a group of people. When you say you get your food first, you have to wait for everybody to get their food. Absolutely. But I was also told there was a number on that. Absolutely. Anything over six? I would say eight. I would say eight because you can get, especially in some of the larger restaurants, you can sit around a table of

eight. Pretty frequently. So yeah. So my number is eight. I think it's an opinion. I would say everybody, if you're around a circular table, eight people, I would still wait. Anything after that, I think it's too big and you just make sure people on your left and right have their food and then you start. Left and right. How do you handle, say you are at a table of eight people, you're the only one that orders an appetizer. Or two, I don't know. Or a salad. Is that a faux pas? Yes, it is. It is because you're making everyone else wait and often servers won't bring that.

So I would say, I would say no to that one just because you don't want everyone saying, and then it's awkward because everyone's sitting there looking at you eat. Who wants that, really? Right? That's usually what it goes with me. So I would try to match. I would try to match.

OK. Yeah. All right. That's a big thing, trying to match. Like, what is happening? And with the meals, if let's say we're around a table of eight and one person is waiting on their food and Everybody else has theirs then it's that person's job to say, please everyone enjoy what's so hot

Yeah, please and then you really should go. We're usually pretty good with that. Yeah, okay, okay We don't we don't we don't wait which makes me weird. Yeah. Yeah, I wait I say go go go and you go no, I'll wait and I know you're not happy I do that I do that with the guys of etiquette, but it's actually because I don't want to be the fat guy sitting there eating by himself, to be honest with you. Shouldn't order an appetizer.

OK, and what is it? Oh, sorry. Shared appetizers. Proper way to share appetizers. OK, so you could take a side plate, even if it's a bread plate, and you put some on the other plate, even if you have to ask for a second plate, and then you split it like that.

Yeah, we know that. I know, but we're not animals. Say you're somewhere, you know, chips and guac get dropped. Yes. Under any condition, are you just dipping into that guacamole? Because that's what I'm doing. I think you could.

It depends on the restaurant. If it's kind of casual, I think that's fine to do. But no double dipping, right? Sure. Or you could take a spoonful of guacamole, put on your plate, take some chips, put on your plate, and eat off your plate. That's the answer. If you weren't, that's the more formal way.

But in a casual environment, which is probably where you're having chips and guacamole, I think it's fine. It's the nicest restaurant I've ever been to. I think it's fine. Kip, let's talk about the blue chew. Ooh, I'm hard right now just thinking about it, gang. I was going to say you need it. All right.

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pay the five bucks for shipping. That's Bluetooth.com promo code garbage. You receive your first month for free visit Bluetooth.com for more details and important safety information. We thank Bluetooth for sponsoring the podcast. Yes, we do. How about this? Where do you feel? Okay, so you get a bunch of things for the table? Okay. How do you feel? Okay, so you get a bunch of things for the table. Okay How do you is it is there a line of where like if you're eating too much of the appetizer or what if everybody kind of? Gets their fill and they stop and there's still some appetizers in there. Is it bad form to go and knock them off?

Knock them off. Does that make sense? You sound like you're a witness. I've never heard anyone talk about food by knocking off. I like it. This is why I asked and knock them off? Knock them off? Does that make sense? Do you get what I'm saying? I mean, you sound like you're whacking a witness. I've never heard anyone talk about food by knocking off, but I like it. Well, let me tell you, this is why I asked. Yes. We went to Ireland not that long ago. And I'd been on Ozempic for a while before that. You don't need to give her the backstory. He was eating a lot, okay? And then I got off of it and like my superpowers kind of came back. And we are out, we We had a couple of drinks maybe a little bit, you know

I mean a couple touches of the green stuff. So I was pretty hungry I was in I was in the zone right and these guys were done and I kind of finished off all the Appetizers and they gave me a lot of crap. It was the table next to us You know, I'm not a big food waster. I love I agree. All right, you're with friends. You're with friends. I'm not a big food waster. I love I agree all right. Oh, you're with friends. You're with friends I'm not a food waster. I think I would have done it too if I were still hungry I would just say does anybody want? But anybody like the last chicken wings anybody like the last this what he said was everybody back up Okay, I like that okay, and will you take leftovers home from a restaurant? You cool with that?

I think it depends on the restaurant. If it's a formal restaurant, I think I wouldn't. So if you're at like a business meeting, I wouldn't. You wouldn't do it. I wouldn't. Casual. If you're at Chili's, go for it. You like the Chili's?

TJ Fridays. I love Florida, girl. Yeah, that's right. But if I were at a formal restaurant or anytime in business, I wouldn't. Hmm. Huh. What is acceptable to eat with your hands? But if I were at a formal restaurant or anytime in business, I wouldn't. Huh, what is acceptable to eat with your hands? A lot. I would say any, I mean, pizza, hot dogs, french fries.

I mean at a restaurant. Like if you're, like you go, the bread, you're not like, you don't rip the bread. Okay, so you wanna learn bread etiquette? Yes. Because it's common and it's probably one of the most, it's the worst eaten, I think people have a lot of trouble eating bread.

So bread is actually, so what side is our bread plate on? Left. Left. Excellent. BMW. BMW. So you take the bread, let's say a bread roll, and you put it on the plate, then you only tear off the one piece you're going to eat at time. So then you butter that piece,

and then it goes into the mouth. So you don't take the whole roll and break it in half, or butter it in half. So you only break off the one piece, butter it, and then it goes in. I'm not doing that. That's crazy. Is it bad to make a little sandwich out of the bread? Which I've done before. I got yelled at.

You make a little meatball sandwich out of it. You know, I'm gonna. No good? I'm gonna say no good for that one, but you know, I also, but with bread and sauces, actually in France and Italy, it is acceptable to sop up bread or dunk bread in soups in those two cultures. So if you're at an Italian restaurant,

it's actually you're not doing too much wrong there. I love that. Again, we were in Ireland, I had a lot of soup, I had a lot of chowder, and they served a piece of brown bread with every bowl of soup, and I was taking the piece of bread and just putting it in the soup

and then eating it like that, is that bad? That wouldn't be correct etiquette in Ireland, but. It was also buttered. But, you know, I think a lot of people do it. Okay, all right. I have a butter question for you, so and it's more common used to be Lower in place would even higher in place to it now. They give you the pad of the butter wrapped in foil It's cold it doesn't spread well is there a maneuver to because people will put it in their hands the really trashy move

Put it under the armpit. No good. I'm sure But he's from North Carolina You gotta give him a little bit is there a move for warming your cold butter up? I don't know one is the truth. I just let it stay out a little bit. And if you take your knife and sort of kind of skim it, skim it a little bit. That starts the process. That's what I would do.

I've never heard of the armpit under. I've never heard of that. I thought I heard everything. What's classier, the butter or the olive oil in your opinion what do you think's better real butter because yeah butter olive oil is a bit more casual it's more just like dipping and can be messy butter is a little bit more controlled not gonna drip on your nice clothes I like that how do you feel about people taking pictures of their food?

Great question. Informal, yeah. Formal environments, it's a no-go. I think- If you were to business meeting, you wouldn't break out. I would, no. I would never advise that. I think, no, but- You blew the Penske deal. But, yeah, I think- Took a picture of your entree.

I think casual, it's fine. But you know, some restaurants too, if the restaurant has a hashtag on the menu, they're like looking for you. For the interaction. If they have a molten chocolate lava ball that melts. And there's a big show of like, oh we're gonna light it on fire.

So I think you have to, it's situational. It's situational. Yeah. I, as I was saying before, I tend to get a lot of stains on my shirt when I eat. Is there a, is there a proper way to deal with that? And is the tide stick acceptable at the table?

Not at the table. Not at the table, but I love it. If you do laundry in a restaurant, I think I think I love a tide stick, but I would bring it so good. It works so good. I would just go to the restroom and just do it there. Or it's very common to also ask if you have a stain to ask for soda water.

OK. And I think- And you can do that at the table? I actually think that is much more accepted, because you just want to get it out right away. And sometimes the server will just bring it over right away, and then that's intended to help you. So you dab, dab, dab right there.

Just kind of You know not making a big deal of it. Yeah, what was the last time that happened to you just had a curiosity No, that's not true, I don't remember I don't remember but it has definitely happened to me, okay for sure What was the last and what was the last faux pas you remember make like what was one? That's hanging over your head of like, shit, I shouldn't have done that? Or what was the one that maybe triggered your boyfriend at the time to say hey?

You know, that one was probably, I was, I just used to not even understand how to hold my fork and knife. I think that- Can you show us the proper way? Yeah, that's great. Yeah, that was probably what triggered him to say- That's what, I was cutting with my fork.

Yes, okay. And my wife's German and they were all like, that's insane. I still get made fun of. What I like on, when I see British people eat or fancy people eat on shows, I like the upside down fork. Yes.

And that's- That's European. I don't do it like that. I use I like that I'm going to teach you right now. All right, so no matter if you're a left hand. Are you left-handed right-handed? I'm we're both right-handed. Okay, so even if anyone out there listening is left-handed It doesn't matter left-handed right-handed the fork goes in the left hand and the knife goes in the right hand So right now I need to reverse. Yeah, say this again. Okay, so the fork goes in the left hand Yeah, because you cut with your dominant hand. That's why the knife's always wait. I'm right now, we need to reverse. Wait, say this again? Okay, so the fork goes in the left hand. Yeah, because you cut with your dominant hand.

That's why the knife's always... Wait, I'm right-handed though. Yeah, you cut with your dominant hand. That's what you put pressure. You're putting pressure on the knife. Yeah. Okay. So... That's why the knife's always on the right-hand side because most people are right-handed.

Are you kidding me? I know. Learn that as a busboy. All right. Busboy. You stole my knife. A busboy for where? I have a restaurant in Philadelphia. Ah, okay. It wasn't the bus way for where Have a restaurant in Philadelphia It wasn't the block

St. Andrews took my knife. That's a faux pas. Okay. So what do you do if you do that? What if you actually grab somebody's knife accidentally eat someone's entree? Why don't you lead with that you give it to them? I would I would and then I would just ask for another one You don't take theirs their knife and fork, right? Yeah, are you just saying but it's okay if you touch it? No, no, oh so many touches that I would just ask for another one I would just yeah, I would just get another one. Okay, okay, and you would give it to them. No, they've already taken yours I would just ask for a new fork and knife You're not the person that did it okay, right? Okay. All right. This is what my left hand

So it doesn't matter So so okay. So here we go. We take our take notes out there. We go We take our palms out flat and the prongs of our fork are facing up and it's resting on our index finger And then our right hand we have our knives The the blade is up resting on our index finger. So it's index out, then wrap all of your fingers, and twist. Perfect, I call this in my book, it's called the IWT. Index, wrap, and twist, to help you remember.

Okay. And then you wanna scoot back. You're good with the acronyms. It helps, right? Yeah. And then I want you to scoot back, so your index fingers are there. So we never want that, we want to scoot back like that.

Perfect. It feels okay. That way it does feel okay. And then we don't want McDonald's arches, so we want flat index fingers. Beautiful. How's that feel? Horrible. Really?

Okay. Here we go though. Here we go. And then when we cut, we cut over the bridge, not under the bridge. So over the bridge, and then prongs down into our mouths. And we only cut one piece at a time. I learned that the hard way. With European etiquette, right?

So cut, cut, cut, and in. Is that what this is based, this is European etiquette? What's called continental etiquette, yes. But you can still, we can still use it in America. So you can use American etiquette in America, obviously, but then you can also use continental etiquette in America whenever you want to kind of get a little bit more formal. But the difference, American and continental,

it doesn't matter. It still should be the fork in the left, the knife in the right. The difference between American and continental etiquette is this, cut, cut, cut, then the Americans rest and go to their dominant hand. Is that okay? That's perfect for American etiquette.

Okay. But let's say we were in Paris tomorrow, then we want to stick, we want to follow continental etiquette, and then we'd cut, cut, cut, and then it hovers and we go in like that. Oh, this is America, I'm switching. Then you can switch.

You can always use American etiquette in America. Ah, I was so ready to throw you under the bus with a switch. Oh, I'm a big switcher. I know. I was in Paris two years ago, and I. Oh, I'm a big switcher. I know. I was in Paris two years ago, and I remember everybody, they were looking at me. Now I realize why. They're using chopsticks.

What if you're eating spaghetti? Oh, spaghetti is spaghetti. It. Nope. Really? So I cut my spaghetti. OK, so there might be a lot of angry people out there when they hear this, but actually, we don't twirl in the spoon. So twirling in a spoon is what we do

when we're training children about how to twirl properly. Oh, really? So in, right, so you just take the fork, dominant, dominant. Dominant. Yeah. Nope, you're, no, there's no nine percent. So it's fork, dominant hand.

Okay. Down and then twirl. And there's no assisting? There's no assisting. So you just want to make sure. Now what's the slurp? What if you catch a hanger? I never get it perfect in a nice bar.

I always got some hangers. So if there's a couple hangers, that's okay. It's normal. Can you slurp? Is that like, or what's the? So if you have the longest noodle, and it's super, super long, I would go back and retorl. Okay.

Because the slurping gets really messy. You go back to the dock. This is so good. I thought that was like an old school Italian thing to do. I mean, it's not correct. It's just not correct etiquette. You could do it, you could do a lot. These grease balls don't know what they're not made of.

No, but you know what, a lot of people do it, but it's just not correct. Okay, all right. Now, what is, I've been told I don't know nothing about it. That's not the proper way to say that. Also, these plates, I got bamboozled. These are wobbly. Now, I was told there's a certain way

to rest the knife and the fork throughout the meal, whether you're done, whether you're still working, whether you're completely finished. I think I know that from waiting tables. Aren't you supposed to put the knife and the knife and the fork at the four o'clock position? You are exactly right. Yeah.

But not in the fork like you have it I'm not sure loser go back to you really you know you're really that was good that was good it was just just like that that signals the server that you're done I'll take my second and then if you're still working then you're you're making upside down V okay so the prongs are down okay and that's taking a break don't take my food you know sometimes servers that then you're making an upside down V. Oh, okay. Yep, so the prongs are down. Okay. And that's saying, taking a break, don't take my food. You know, sometimes servers said, are you finished? Are you finished? Are you finished?

And sometimes maybe you're giving the wrong indicators. Sure. You know, one time when I was waiting tables, I was waiting on this pretty fancy couple that used to come in, they were young, but you could tell they came from a little bit of cash. They were from Connecticut. He worked in finance, I don't know what she did other than pills.

But she they they came in one time and he was done and she wasn't. And I had a pretty good rapport with them. But he got done and I took his plate and she like not freaked out. But she's like, that is so rude, which you're not supposed to. She was right. I mean, she was a dick about it. But yeah, she's right You shouldn't take you should wait until both are finished. I think she was more in the wrong there because to correct somebody to correct

Bad etiquette is bad etiquette. So bingo. Oh, you're gonna be throwing that in my face. Correct bad Yeah, you're good It's you know, so because it feels embarrassing a person or so she shouldn't have done that So just wait and trash them afterwards Kind of in that situation you bet you'll review But in that but yes, so you do wait until both people are finished, and then you take their place together, okay? Yeah, okay, and it's bad etiquette that that's really good now You just gave him a bulletproof I'm sorry. Man, it's bad etiquette that that's really

good. Now, um. You just gave him a bulletproof vest. He'll be blowing his nose on the table cloth. Yeah. I love the thing with the napkin. Doing the inside of the net. That's classy. That makes sense so you don't see it. Um hmm. Okay.

Uh huh. I have one. Yeah. Well, before we move past restaurants. I'm still I'm kidding me. We haven't even going Micah I'm still waiting on the appetizers if you and you and you you and somebody else go out to dinner Okay, you have an appetizer together All right, they get the salmon You're at a place that specializes in coal, pizza, coal fire, pizzas or wood fire pizzas. Hey, do you is it is it proper etiquette for the other person to get a whole pizza as an entree? I think that's fine.

Yes, that's the final. Thank you. He's got a big source. I ordered it. We were at the small coal fire like Neapolitan pizza or whatever at a cult that a brick oven place, the whole thing. And my wife got whatever the salmon, I think it was the salmon.

And I ordered a pie. And he was like, that's so tacky. That's cool. That's crazy. I think it's cool. And you eat the pizza normal? You don't eat it with a knife and fork? Depends on how it's served, actually.

So if it's already, if it's Napolitano, then that's knife and fork Actually, and if it's pre sliced then you can eat with your fingers. Yeah, it was pre sliced. Oh, this is a Westchester It was pretty sliced Okay Is at any point what personal items are allowed to be on the table probably none The answer is none nothing not your phone your wallet. I beat my be on the table? Probably none. The answer is none. Nothing, not your phone, your wallet. I leave my wallet on the table.

Nope, I always say if it's not a part of the meal, it doesn't go on the table. Really? Yeah. Okay. For the ladies out there, where should they put their purse? Couple options.

If there's something, a chair like this, then they can put it behind their backs. They can put it across, if it's like a clutch or something, they can put it across their laps. They can. How about that hook they sell? Have you ever seen that? Yeah, I'm fine with the hook. I'm fine with the hook. You're fine with the hook? I'm fine with the hook. I don't have one. My mom found that and blew her fucking hair back. You know, I don't have one, but I'm fine with it. It makes sense to me. Okay. It makes sense to me. The only, you know, because it also avoids, if you kind of hang it on the back of your chair, it's not safe, somebody can see.

I actually had a handbag stolen in New York when I was probably 21 like that. But also, it gets in the way of servers, right, who are trying to come around. So, I'm okay with the hook. Follow-up question? Dudes, jacket on the back of the chair. I would check it, rather than that, but.

That's the classy answer. If you didn't have that, then that's fine. If there's no coat check, then that's fine. Can you wear, that's like, you know, sport coat, you keep, a gentleman keeps his sport coat on. For formal dining, yes, but say you're at a business lunch and it's not, you know, some people have it on, you wait until the most senior person at the table

takes theirs off and then you follow. So for example, let's say we're at a business meal and we have a client here and that client keeps their jacket on the entire time. Then you don't want to be the one taking off our ties and our jackets or loosening our, yeah. Okay. In that vein of going off like the senior person

or whatever, what's usually the rule of getting booze? Like if you were at a, if you were at something like that, do you wait for him to make a move before you order something? So if you're hosting the client, right, so then you should offer, would you like a drink? Would you like any of the bottle of wine? And if they say I'll do a Diet Coke.

Then you don't get alcohol, would be my advice. I'll go to Long Island Ice Tea. Yeah, you know, I would be You know, I would be careful there. That's business, but say you're going out to dinner with friends. It's like, you know, you and your cool Swiss husband and another couple, and you sit down. You can drink then, right? Yes.

You don't have to match whatever. Definitely. And how many drinks is too many drinks? Depends on the person. You know, like... Because I better be eight. Yeah. And how do you Matt, like if you're because me and my girl run into a thing where I drink a lot faster than she does.

So like she's like at the end of the dinner, it's like she's still working on that one drink and I usually have to pound it before we leave. So I get the hell out of there. But like, what's the rule back and forth? If you're out with somebody, are you supposed to match their alcoholic intake? I don't think so because. All right. Yeah. Can't be beer bonging beers, though.

Of course. Have you ever seen a Flambongo? No, but I'm in. I'll send you one. No, it's a whole other episode. I'll just send you one and just see your reaction when you get it. OK.

And say it's from Micah. OK. You'll be shocked. Yep. But no, I would say that you don't need to match because everybody's different. when you get it. Okay. And say it's from Micah. Okay. You'll be shocked. Yep. But no, I would say that you don't need to match because everybody's different, right? Like somebody could just have one glass of wine

the whole meal and that might just not be enough for, you know, for you. Sure, okay. That's fine. Okay. And. But can I just add in one thing? Please. Please.

When you are, say with groups, let's say you're the only one drinking or you order champagne and everyone else just has a beer. I think you have to be really careful when it comes to bill splitting that if you're the person ordering more significant amount of things. You have to jump on that. You really, yeah, I think it's that person.

Well, that's paying the... We're dirtbags enough that we don't split anything like that. We won't split a bill. I'll have someone jump on it. One of us will jump on it. We'll just jump on it, yeah, because we get too uncomfortable and stuff like that. We won't split a bill. I'll have someone jump, one of us will jump on it. Yeah, because we get too uncomfortable and stuff like that. Wait, what do you mean?

You just. Like if I'm out with friends, I'll just pay the bill. I'm not going, hey, you had the mozzarella sticks. Or not even go, I think it's, I mean, he worked in the, you know, he worked as a server for a long time. I think it's a, you know, faux pas to ask. Used to know Full pot to drive me crazy when like to ask the waiter to split this five I said why you and why you can't just get it next week right? Okay? Yeah, that's how I feel So it's like you know if I go out with another couple ago

Maybe another couple will just split it down the middle like a two cards whatever But it's like usually I'll get it you get the next time but we've also gotten into discussions of sometimes, I know I do that too heavily, and we've gotten into the thing of that sometimes that's not cool to do to the other person, like it makes them feel like a bozo. Right.

Or- To always pick up the tab? Well yeah, it's just like, I mean, if like somebody, you know- Or really over tip, like he went out to some guy that he knows Invited him and his wife to their restaurant There was no check and he tipped a certain amount and we gave him crap saying that you should have gave him like you know 400 bucks, but sometimes that's like a face throw What's the like if you and your husband go out to do with another couple? I assume you know everybody does well

How do you guys handle that? I? I assume, you know, everybody does well. How do you guys handle that? I mean, usually, usually we just split it in the middle is two cards. Two cards is what we usually do. I think two cards is a couple. Yeah, two couples. I think that you're never doing itemized or anything. No, we don't. We don't. I really don't think there's anything wrong with it because I do think

a lot of people don't have the means to, you know, for sure. You know, so I think it depends on the person. We're just a't have the means to, you know it. For sure. You know, so I think it depends on the person. We're just a split down the middle. We never itemize. We, it's just not for us. Sure. I feel like it's too awkward for me to do that.

I'm the same. 100%. And it's, I mean, it's mostly social anxiety for me. Yeah, me too, me too. I would rather even spend the money if I don't have it. Me too. To get out of that situation. I often find if it's just me and another person, I almost always pick up the bill myself

How do you do it do you ever sneak away and give them the car all the time? That's all the time you're usually picking up the check when you're 90 percent of the time I go out class anything I yeah, and only if they beat me to it And even even if it's a man. It's like my it's like a power move to all that you know mine like yeah But yeah, I think it's a little bit of smaller chair It's like a power move too. Love it. Mind game. You're like, psh. Yeah. But yeah, I think it's- Put him in a smaller chair too. I also don't like feeling like I owe people things.

Of course. That's a bad feeling to me. I'm like, oh, I owe them. Yeah. You're a bit crazy too, we're finding that. I like it. I like it. Now what speed of eating?

I was told I eat pretty fast. That's not, I mean my wife is slow. I'm quick. So it's tough. So. Kimmy pulls out a starter pistol. Yeah. Okay.

So I think Americans, we eat really fast as a culture. But the correct etiquette here would be you do match the person you are eating with. Well why doesn't she match me? What are we doing? She should she should she should speed up, and you should slow down well I think too if I move if I move to the new knife and fork utensil You got three hours that'll slow me down a little it will slow you down, okay? Definitely well, but I think yeah

I was in there something you can remember to help you say say you're in a group And there's six people you're in a business meeting and the client's there or the VIP person, your boss. So that boss takes on the VIP status or the client and that person is like the king or queen of the table. And when they're finished, you're finished. Even if you're not done? You need to speed up.

You need to speed up. So let's say you're the king and we're all here Even if you're a fast then that means we all need to kind of fast right because we don't want the king or queen sitting They're waiting for us all stared like you hear that yeah Yeah, and that actually still practice in the palaces today. No really yes Come hang out with Uncle Hank. He's spilling all over the place. Uh huh. I have a couple more food questions.

Me too. OK. My OK. So I got into an issue with with a good friend of mine. So me and my buddy, Chris Cotton, got rest of the soul, went and both got cheesecake. We went to this cheesecake place. We each got different kind of cheesecake. OK. And we agreed that we were going to each take a bite of each other's cheesecake.

Right. OK. He presented me with his cheesecake. I believe I did the gentleman thing of going to the left corner of the cheesecake and taking it. He, when I presented him with my cheesecake, took the tip bite, which we all know is the best bite, and we got no big argument about it. Who's right and who's wrong? He's been dead for six years. Give it up. It's one bite of

cheesecake a decade ago. So, he took the tip. He took the tip. So, God rest his soul, he is wrong. Yeah. Yeah, he. You got that going for you. But also with any kind of cheese, any kind of pie, cheese, anything like that, you don't take the tip. You go along the side.

You slice along the side. Because if you just take the tip, that's like the tip of the cheese wheel. So it's the best part. Ah, even with slices of cheese. Yes. Wait, you mean if you're part. Ah, even with slices of cheese. Yes. Wait, you mean if you're presented with a charcuterie board.

Right, let's say there's some brie or something and you go to somebody's house, you don't just chop off the tip because then you're leaving the rind for everybody else, which is more tasteless. So you slice it like a cake. You slice it like a cake. Whoa. Yes.

Wow. At my house, they always go inside because they don't like the rind. Oh, and then it's like a hollowed out. Yeah, it looks like an empty deep dish pizza. Yeah. Now, a charcuterie board to eat with your hands, no? Yes. How do you call it? I like eating with my hands. What do you do with your, with a pastor, a pastor derv situation? What do you do with

your toothpicks? So a couple things there. Let's say I'm your server and I come around and I have past hors d'oeuvres. The number one thing people do, they just take it and say thank you. So actually first you take the napkin, you put the napkin in your hand,

then you take one piece at a time, thank you, they let them, you let them go, and then you eat it. And then you put the toothpick back in your napkin And then you kind of fold the napkin and get rid of the napkin I like my pocket. Yeah, no pocket pocket What if it's one of those cool little swords though, and you want to keep it for later then in your pocket? Respect now is it is it you know uncouth to post up by where they're coming out With the best or terms. Is it bad to play a zone defense next to the

kitchen door and only one piece? One piece one piece at a time one piece at a time. What if it's like the scallops or something that you know is not going to make it around a second or third time? You got to get what it getting good. Then I think I think I think you could go back for another one. I think it's bad to hover, but I do think that you could go back. You could go back.

I mean, you don't wanna be like a Pac-Man, right? Like the- Just me and you going around the party. Yeah. Oh, fair enough. Okay. When can you ask for your table to be changed at a restaurant?

When you are near a bathroom. Or the front door. The front door, a back door, near an air conditioning vent, anything like that. So something that makes you uncomfortable, basically. Okay. And I always say if you're on a date, or you're hosting a client or somebody else,

you get there early, you get there before the other person the other person, so you can check out the table. Whoa, get eye, get boots on the ground. And if you're really slick and you know the restaurant well, every single table has a number. Every single table has a number. So if you know the good tables, then you call ahead and you say, I would like to request table 15, table whatever ahead.

I used to work at a place that everybody knew that and there was a lot of movers and shakers that came in. They always wanted the one table in the front. It was a Denny's Actually Denny's has the best cheesecake of all time. Whoa With the cherries on top, okay Denny's cheese Florida and when is it okay to send something back and what is the proper way to do so? So only if something is wrong with it. So if it's even, so let's say you order something well done and it comes rare, that's an exception.

I think it's okay to send it back because that's an extreme. But if you said medium well and it comes medium, I would not send it back. I really would. Especially if you're in a business. Yes, I think if it's an extreme like that, or there's something wrong with it, those are the only times. I respect that.

I like that. Yeah, it's just like, come on. That makes me like you even more. And I think that with wine, if you just, some people taste the one, right? The server comes over and pours a little bit for you to taste if you order it. And a lot of people say, no, it's a little too dry.

And they send back the wine. But that's not why they're giving you the taste. They're trying to let you know if the bottle's corked or not. Corked or not, yeah. It's not like, oh, do we like it or not? They just open the whole bottle for you. They're just making sure it's drinkable. Correct, they're not saying, do you like it?

You already ordered it, they've opened the bottle for you. You should drink it. And the restaurant can tell, because we used to order that, I learned that working at Deon Seafood in Philly is that people will try to do that. And we can tell if the wine's corked or not. Right.

So it's like you're paying for it. Exactly. Punk. It's wasteful. Yeah, what about screw top wine? I have no problem with screw top wine. Actually there's some really good wines, really good wines that are screw top.

Yeah, we had a bottle somewhere around here. What happened to it? Yeah, I think it's, actually there's some really good wines really good wines that are screw top. Yeah, we had a bottle somewhere around here Yeah, I think it's actually there's yeah, there's some really beautiful bottles that are screwed up. You know that wine by the way No, I don't Oregon Luke It's not that was a shot at the other producer Bozo bottle of wine Okay, I have a few more restaurant things and then I wanna hit some other topics,

but I mean, we are such a food restaurant program. How many alterations can you make to your dish? I.e., hey, can I do this? No tomatoes, no whatever, whatever, what aside it like? I mean, I think you can within reason. I think you could say no tomatoes, no onions. I think that's fine.

I think when you totally change the recipe, I think that's not. Okay, fair enough. So one or two things. Within moderation. Right. I'm seeing a slight pattern, and I love this, and I love this about you, is that your kind of rule

is that you can be too over the top with it, and when you do that, like you said, then you no longer are being practicing proper etiquette. Exactly. Exactly. Like you can't be too much of a, you know, pain in the ass or like try to be too like bougie or whatever. Exactly. And the whole thing, no matter what course I teach, whenever I'm teaching, it could be to, you know, a business group or a individual person, I always teach that etiquette is about kindness and respect and thinking of others first and if you think of it in that way

It's not about being posh. It's not it's not It's it's about being courteous courteous right always hitting the server with a thank you and stuff like that I would assume oh my gosh that I was a server I know how it feels to be on both sides And I've been treated horribly and so it's like you're like the server should be the person that you show the most respect to at the table. And I feel like you can tell a lot about people how they treat servers. To me, it's like there's nothing more attractive

than someone who sits down, who has amazing manners, who's so kind to the server, who knows their name. Oh, sorry, what was your name? Ah, you know, Bill, thanks so much, Bill. And like treating that person is just, that to me is like the best manners I love it is it bad to do the check you know I would say I just caught so I have a little trick so I two fingers together not not peace sign together above your shoulder and then you call that's the signal to server yep yeah. Pretty good, just, yeah, it's not aggressive.

Because sometimes servers, and I train a lot of servers at a lot of restaurants, they see it as condescending when they look over to your table and you're waving or never obviously snap, clap, anything like that, whistling. Ew! Yeah, yeah. Jimmy!

Yeah, exactly. So I think that's one way to do it. Or when they're over, say, can I I please have the bill when you have a moment? Okay, how do you feel about this? So from being a server and I don't know if this is right or not from being a server I try to minimize their steps of service, especially at the end So I've gotten into this thing now where if you know, we're done I'll do this and I'll take I'll take the card out.

So when they come over, I'll just go put it on here. It seems dismissive to how do you feel about that? I think it depends on if you're trying to take the bill because you think there's going to be an argument over the bill. No, it's not. Okay, it's not because it's coming from the same. It's on the same credit card. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we're together.

So he just wants- I do this all the time. I would ask for the bill, because what you're doing is you're actually rushing them. So you think you're skipping a step, but maybe they need to go over and, you know, like they might have a protocol. Sure.

So I would say wait for that, just so you're not, you're like rushing, it feels rushed. So I would just wait, and just ask you're not you're like rushing it feels rushed So I would just wait okay ask for it Sometimes if the service is bad being true being totally honest I do that to be like I don't care How much it is put it on here which makes? Which actually makes sense to me if you are waiting and waiting you know It's going to take 30 minutes to get then I would do that just to Yeah, just to get out okay. How do you French fries fingers.

Well again with the hands. Let's say there's a shared cone of fries. We have a classy joint. That's a cone. You're talking about one of the cones. Or a basket. Let's say a basket. If possible bring it down.

That's a cone of fries. I never heard that. Okay. Florida is in your rear view. Okay. We have a basket of fries. I never heard that. Okay. Florida is in your rear view. Yes. I like it. Okay, we have a basket of fries. Fried and duck fat. So then if there's a basket,

then the correct etiquette is to take some fries and put on your plate and eat off your plate. With your hands. With your hands. With your handful? You know, I think so. You're in a casual place, a basket of fries. That is not correct etiquette because you're touching other people's fries.

But it's not the- But if there's no utensil for that, that's kind of what they're touching other people's fries. But it's not the. But if there's no utensil for that, that's kind of what they're intending for you to do, right? Because to take a fork wouldn't work, or take a spoon wouldn't work. And then, or you could shake a basket, you could shake it if you're weird about touching people's food,

you could shake it on your foot, or on your foot. On your plate. On your plate. We're rubbing off on you. Yeah. She'll be smoking by the time she leaves here. You would shake the basket.

Call it as y'all and shit. And then you know. What do you do later? Okay. Yeah. But otherwise, if it's on your plate, served on your plate, you can use a fork or fingers, whatever you want. How about, what do you think is the classier way to distribute your ketchup?

Let's say you have your french fries on your plate. Is it do the Jackson Pollock or is it dip? You are going to not like this. So get your ketchup, please. Please. So there is a place on your plate just for sauces and butters. Where's that? There's a place on your plate just for sauces and butters.

So let's say we're putting ketchup onto our plate. It goes on one specific part of the plate. Goes at five o'clock. So if this is 12 o'clock, it goes at five o'clock as for sauces and butters. No kidding. And so let's say I- I think, can I guess why?

Yes. Because it's the last place with your fork hand. No, your fork hand's over here. That does, okay, sorry. No, but our knife. So we're putting the sauce on. That's how a bunch of a dirt bag I am. we're taking the sauce and then we're putting it on whatever we're let's say we have barbecue sauce. We have a piece of chicken. We cut that chicken. We take

the barbecue sauce. We put it up and then we go. That's what we're never Duncan. We're only Duncan donuts. If you're a hillbilly, baby. All right. Yeah. Yeah. Arm pit butter. Maybe. All right. Yeah. Arm pit butter. And yes, I asked you this before, but with the forks, I love it. I'm a big guy. I'm a big multiple items per bite. I like to get everything together. OK. I'm also a big bite. We're also a big bite and sip people. That was my next bite and sip bad.

What's a bite and sip? You bite and then take a sip of your drink. Yes. Yes. We're going to work on the bite and sip. I love it then take a sip of your drink. Yes. Yes. We're gonna work on the bite and sip. I love it. It's the favorite thing. But hold on. You've never taken a bite of pizza and an ice cold screaming Coca-Cola? Really? And then you, it's like a big old washing machine? Yeah. But wait, hold on a second. That's a great way to put it. It's like a big

old, yes. Look at her face. But wait, don't you remember in Rat Tattooie when they talked about how. It's a a big ol' A. Yes. Look at her face. But wait, don't you remember in Rat Tattooie when they talked about how- It's a cartoon. Yes. About the combination of flavors. I love like a piece of cheese and a piece of prosciutto and then take a sip of the wine and what that does in my mouth.

Oh. No. Stop it. Dude, we are animals to her. No, God. But sometimes- That laugh was said so much. Sometimes I'll do that.

She just scooched her chair back. And I'll get a little something on the rim and I'll have to like wipe it off with the napkin. We're going to work on that. That's no good. No, no. Really? We're going to work on that in a moment.

Yes. No. What I was going to ask you, I'm sorry, is a piece of steak and then the mashed potatoes, they kind of put them on there. So you can combine two foods at once. So steak and mashed potatoes, great. Steak and broccoli, great. Mashed potatoes and potatoes, great. Steak and broccoli, great. Mashed potatoes and broccoli, great.

Steak, mashed potatoes and broccoli, er. That's a separate spot. Right? I know. Well, but if it's like a lasagna or something that's intended to be mixed together, and then my exception for that is Thanksgiving. I just think Thanksgiving is just an exception.

I use the mashed potatoes as a bit of a paste. Yeah. I get everything together. You know what, that's my secret idea, too. It's like a piece of gum. It's like my dirty little etiquette instructor secret. OK. Sure.

Yeah. All right. I have a couple, like, if you're hosting. OK. Right? People are coming over your house. What are you allowed to make them take their shoes off? Yes.

You can. You absolutely can. I would say, it's cultural. A lot of families culturally don't allow shoes in the house. So when you come into a home, I would say look for cues that you should be taking off your shoes. Always expect that somebody could ask you to take off your shoes.

So your socks match, are they clean? Are they clean? Do you have holes in your socks? Like think about, do you have a pedicure? Have you not painted your nails for 10 months? Who you been talking to? You know, like before you, yeah, I would say be careful about that.

Well isn't it kind of rude to be like, hey can you take your, I feel that's rude to the guests, to me, of like hey, I invited you over my home, now let's act like we're children. I disagree, I'm gonna shoes off now. Keep your shoes on, we're goddamn adults here. Yeah, but we also live in New York City, and that's disgusting.

You shouldn't be hosting parties, that's what I say. You don't wear your shoes in the house. No, but if I went over someone's house, no, yeah. I don't know, I don't know, I feel I really. It's not a goddamn slumber party, I'm here for dinner and cocktails. But here's the thing, if it's formal, so if it's a dinner party,

I let people at my house, I let people keep their shoes on. Can't be eating dinner with you in your socks. We're not at home here. So it depends on what people are. So if I just have a friend over, then we have slippers. So I got them at the house. Yeah, oh yeah. Yeah.

So I saw that. We have a little shoe cupboard where people put their shoes, and then I have slippers for them and but if it's a dinner party nobody takes off their shoes I would never ask that it looks silly if somebody's dressed so nicely in their barefoot in your house Do you guys do you guys do that a good amount you and your husband you host like all the time? We have super fun parties really yeah We have super fun parties really yeah, we have to invite us We love I would love to have Toby's got a collar churning can we would embarrass you I would love to have you I'd be looking as like zoo animals come see me at the Plaza Come on in there. I'm a question for you. What is just you? It's just you and your husband. I'll be going to your medicine

And you order in food. Yeah, are that on plates? Are you plating that? Or are you eating it out of the container? I will tell you the whole truth here. I, if nobody was looking, it was just me and him, I would not plate it. He insists on plating. This guy's hoity-toity. He seems like a classy dude.

A Swiss banker probably. But many times, many times, I would love just to eat out of a carton or, and he's like, Micah, can we just use plates? Like he's very. Do best thing animal. The Chinese carton is nice though. You feel like you're in a movie. He would never.

Really? I would love that. How many languages does he speak? At least three. Six. Six? Six. Swiss speaks four.

There's four official languages in Switzerland. There are. Crazy. How'd you know that? Learned that in Switzerland. Do you know all four? There's German, Italian. German, Italian. Then there's a Swiss, like there's a Swiss. Yep, so it's Romange.

It's Romange, it's a Swiss dialect. Then it's Swiss German. Then it's French and it's Italian. Yeah. Damn. Yeah, I just remember my They were speaking Swiss German. My Wife was like yeah, they don't know Billy's exactly. Well, it's the Germans often can't understand the Swiss

Yeah, it's it's I can't expensive over there too for like 120 bucks for lunch. What does he do and can we ask that? Yes, he is Kate up Can we ask that? Yes, he is... Caved up. He invests. He's an investor. He's an investor. I bet he doesn't miss. Yeah, he's probably a good-looking guy. Is something like that a faux pas?

I guess not to ask. Anything with money is wrong, right? Because I felt bad about something. How much cash you got on you right now? The other night I had a couple of drinks with me and I asked one of our buddies who just got married what they brought in Cuz I'm getting married later this year. You asked somebody how much they were making how much money they made at their wedding Oh That's no

wouldn't do that in her circles Shoes on it there and don't ask about finance. I You keep your shoes on at dinner and don't ask about finances. He had one drink, I was there. I think that might make them uncomfortable, would be my guess. He didn't give it up either. Yeah, I would say probably make them comfortable. That's no good, huh? And what if you're going over someone's house for a dinner party, right?

You're coming over my house, or I'm having a nice soiree, you can keep your shoes on because we're not animals. What are you bringing? Ah. Oh, good question. Because you don't show up empty handed. No, never, never, never, never. So I mean, you could get creative.

I think my favorite thing anybody ever brought me was kind of, I had a cocktail party and they brought me these funny cocktail napkins. I had funny slogans on them. Gotcha, that's cute. I thought that was great. It's kitschy, it's fun. You know, you could bring anything. You could fun. You know, you could bring you could bring

anything you could you know, you could bring a baked good you could bring something from your favorite bakery. You're bringing a bottle of wine. What are you dropping on it? Okay, well, here's the thing. Here's the problem with that. So if you I might get butchered for this too. But if you're going to formal dinner party, you don't bring flowers and you don't bring wine. Really? Formal dinner party. Yes. What defines who's who's who's butch? Other etiquette people like in the etiquette world? No, just the public. The public. Because the flowers and wine is the most. No one listening is going to a formal dinner party. Yeah, what defines a formal dinner party? You know, if somebody's like, I'm, I'm, I'm like, I'm serving, I'm having a birthday party and I'm inviting eight of you and it's going to be a really nice dinner party. At their house.

At my house. You go to things like that? Yes. Pretty cool. I think it's nice, it's such a nice thing to host. Sure. And so if, let's say, I invite you over to my birthday party at my home and I'm saying I'm going to have a beautiful

meal prepared. Get dressed up. Get dressed up, it's going to be a celebration. Then I wouldn't bring wine and here's why. Because the moment you bring wine, you bring your bottle of Malbec. And I am serving white wine sauce with a pasta and seafood and you bring your bottle of red wine that clashes with what I have.

And I have this whole, I've got white wine, that's what I'm serving, then you come with your red, you put pressure on the host, you're like, like ah which clashes with what they already had planned so now is it would it be uncouth to just Take that wine or do you have to open that wine? You receive the gift don't have to open it, but a lot of people felt like feel pressure to open it You don't have to open it And then you know so you could say let's say you bring wine to a formal dinner party

and then you realize that it's not, you know, that's all you had to bring. It's better than nothing. Then I would, you could put a bow on it. You could put like a little ribbon. You could say for a special occasion. You could tell them it's for, not for that evening. And then I think it's okay.

I do that a lot. Yeah. I'll go, but again, my reasons are selfish. It's a face throw. I'll go and get like a hundred dollar bottle of wine go over to my cousin's house I'll hand in the bottle of wine and be like don't put that out for these animals You keep that for later with something nice. That's nice. I like that. That's nice. Then I think it's fine I think it's totally fine. If you do that, you're just you just put pressure on the host Yeah, you know and then you all put a bottle of prisoner and be like put that away Yeah

That being said if it's a good friend You know that person loves that specific thing or would be in six site if there are big love chardonnay Then you bring what they like bring okay, you know It's more it's more like if you don't know that person well and to bring something like that and you can always bring champagne For celebration any kind of celebrations your champagne is always a good idea Yes, wait, so champagne is okay celebration. Champagne's always a good idea. Ah, yes. Wait, so champagne's okay to bring. You're not stepping on, it's not, that doesn't not include it in the flowers or the wine. Right. Okay. Yeah, I think champagne's in its own category. Who doesn't want to get

a bottle of champagne? That's real good. So, do you have a, do you have like a go-to that may be outside of the the booze category then? Like a whole wheel of Stilton? You know what? Actually, I have brought cheese, because the Swiss part, so it's kind of our kitschy thing. Or Clint. To bring something Swiss, so we always kind of bring like a really nice, like whole thing of cheeses, Swiss cheeses with a little thing of honey

and like a little honeycomb scooper or something. And we say, like just something that has a good conversation, something like that. Oh, it's from the whatever then flowers, because people have allergies, flowers have meaning. The number one thing people bring here is from a bodega. It's like a white lily, which means death, right? New York City, New York City, the number one, right?

Flower is like a white lily, so it has meaning. And also, if you bring me a big handful of lilies, you walk in, you hand it to me, hi Micah, thanks for having us. Then my job is to go get a vase, clip it, so you bring me a big handful of lilies, you walk in, you hand it to me, hi Micah, thanks for having us. Then my job is to go get a vase, clip it, so you're giving me work. So if you bring flowers, just bring in a vase. So there's caveats with wine and flowers.

I'm just teaching you the formal formal, and you can always scale down where you need to, but at least you know it all. Yeah, I always try to show up with a nice, heady indica. Nice, yeah, roll it, pre-roll joint. You're. Yeah, I always try to show up with a nice, heady indica. Nice roll it pre-roll joint. You're all class. Yeah, I mean, I was I feel. How do you feel about the short sleeve button down shirt?

It's not great. No, I'm OK with that. I like collars. But you can you wear that under a sport along jacket? You can't wear a short sleeve shirt on. No, no. And what is the acceptable gift for a wedding? Well, I would always go to the registry first. Really?

Yeah, because that's what the couple wants. You know, like if you go off registry, it's kind of like, you can, you can, but the couple has told you what their wishes are, and then you go and get them a lawnmower. It's like, you know, or like a barbecue pit. It's a lawn boy. You know, so I feel like, I feel like, and if you do that, if you go off registry, just get a gift receipt just in case. But I think I would say registry. What are we talking cash wise? How do you feel about cash? I actually just revealed in 2024 the most common

in America the average person spends between 125 and 150 per person to go to a wedding. Right. Is the new, is like kind of the new standard. What a cost to come. So you have to cover your head, right? I mean, people ask that. I don't think you do because you don't need,

you don't know what that person spent per head. But I would say if you're going with a plus one, you spend a little bit more. If you're just by yourself, maybe, you know, it also depends on how well you know the person is it your best friend is it just your does that change? So if there's an investment to get to the wedding if you're like I had to buy a plane ticket I had to get to help to two hotel rooms for sure it could it could if it's if you're if you're going to a destination Wedding you might spend a little bit less on the gift. What if it's a cash bar? I'm opening that envelope going to cash bar

well he's talking about all right open bar by the way I'm like the cash bomb that dirtbag you know I think I think if it's a cash bar I still would give them a nice gift I would still I wouldn't get out of that for target that was an effect how much I gave them okay okay oh. Oh, you're a better person say go to the registry first before cash I Mean cash is always it's always wanted. I think cash is always wanted sure, but I think instead of a random gift I would go registry. I mean I could sit here and yeah ask you questions for the next five years. This was fantastic Yeah, thank you so much. I mean what how I opening and how we gonna try to eat like this now We're not embarrassing ourselves at the palm, like, bozos?

I really, if you try it for, try it for one week. Like, really try it for one week and see, and it doesn't feel weird after a week. Because I didn't, I didn't grow up eating like that either. Okay. And so, but also can I just say one thing that's important, is that let's say tonight we go to our friend's house

in New Jersey, Connecticut, wherever, Brooklyn, doesn't matter, and everybody around the table is eating in the American style, it would be obnoxious for you to then pull out your fork and knife and eat in the, you know? If I learn how to do it, I'm doing it everywhere. I am face through, I'll be at McDonald's doing that. Okay, fair.

But I love that, that's why you're awesome My nose on my nap that's what it gets about it's like making people feel comfortable Before before we before we leave what is the proper way to eat a burger you cut the burger Okay, so yes, actually you do. You cut it not in quarters though, in half. And then you eat one half at a time. And when... I could be okay with that.

Yeah, that's okay. I like when it's pre-cut, it's nice. I feel a little fancier. Plus your bites are better. Plus it's also like, yeah, maybe I won't finish this. There's a little bit of a lie to it. Also, when you cut it, you also, if there's any sauce, it kind of comes out of the sides,

so that when you just take the whole burger to your mouth, that's when all the sauce goes to the side, that's when you get the drips on the shirt, so that if you're cutting it, the sauce kind of comes out and you can take the knife and just kind of like clean it up a little bit before you bring it to your mouth. Now say you were eating it as a whole.

We've always had this question. Would it be acceptable, this is what we do, we take a bite and then invert it and put it down like that. Why? I'm not really sure why it started. Because we're dirt bags. But in theory, if it's a very juicy burger, the bottom bun is thinner,

so it gets soggier and then starts falling apart. The top bun, typically brioche, is more absorbent. Right. And then so you do that and then Like I'm never like a crane right. I've never heard of it. Well put that in the book That'll be the cover of my next What an education Mike, thank you so much ladies and gentlemen again, Micah Meyer founder and director Beaumont etiquette I'm gonna be on tour this fall. She's gonna be in Chicago, New York, San Fran,

Los Angeles, Austin. For more, go to micahmeyer.com. Yeah, thank you so much. Thank you so much, Abby. Anything else you want the folks out there to know? You got your social media pages, which are fantastic, the Instagram and all that. Thank you.

Yeah, just micahmeyer at micahmeyer. And yeah, I have YouTube's, lots of free videos and free content to you all helpful and but no Thank you so much for having me. Thank you so much. This was fantastic. Give me what he got for them guys We're over the road Philly's announced that selling out Red Bank, New Jersey August 17th, and then the route 66 tour. We're starting in Chicago and in LA and we'll see out there's Bung or everybody peace peace