Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Band Camp w/ Kippy & Foley
Episode Date: June 15, 2023Are You Garbage is back with Kippy and Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. Its a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live ...show! NEW MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/hfoleycomedy/ Live Shows: https://linktr.ee/AreYouGarbage PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage Helix Sleep: https://www.helixsleep.com/Garbage Express VPN: https://www.expressvpn.com/Garbage This Show is sponsored by BetterHelp Better Help: https://www.BetterHelp.com/GARBAGE Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?
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Pump the brakes there gang get over to that are you garbage calm and pick up some a YG gear we're talking T zip
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Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Gabbitch? The show where you find out if
your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash.
Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H Foley.
Hey everybody out there and welcome back
to everybody's new favorite podcast.
This is our you garbage.
Hey, yeah.
So we'll show you sit there with your favorite comedians
and we find that after you're to be classy.
Yeah.
So just a big old piece of trash.
Freeze.
I'm your host, H Foley coming at you on a beautiful day. So just a big old piece of trash. Shree. I'm your host, Dave's Foley, coming at you
on a beautiful day.
We're out back here in Tuddy's in the new edition, baby.
She is upstairs in a room, watching a little dog
debouting a hundred and having some screwdriver.
Just getting her summer started the right way.
My co-host is coming at you from across the table.
This is a family episode.
He is the CEO of our Ugarberd.
She's an international businessman.
And when it's a summertime, baby,
he's a King of the Boardwalk,
giving up for KJ Kevin James Ryan.
What up gang?
Thanks for tuning in as always.
Please make sure you're right.
If you subscribe on iTunes,
full video available on YouTube.
And as you know, those numbers are...
Fruit of R.F.
And obviously, www.patrion.com.
So I show you garbage.
Boys, grab a newspaper that thing is
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And then obviously, I mean you sign up, you get bonus episode
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Then we got merch over at rugorbitch.com, we got t-shirts
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access to all the tickets we have on the road. More dates coming soon. Look at you with that.
That was very succinct. Yes, I'm a succinct kind of guy. It's very good. Having a nice quick
shout out to our producer extraordinaire, the magic man makes us all look good. Works the ones, works
the twos, crosses the tees, dots the eyes, give it up for T-bone McScruff and Toby McMullen everybody what's up, dude?
What up T-born beautiful summer day we got beautiful about the fire of the grill. I'm trying to wake board dude
I'm trying to get out there get some summertime activities going man. You ride your skateboard to Tuddy's today. I sure did
He did I saw it out there. Yeah, it was great about the roof it
Get out of here you hippie bastard I saw it out there. Yeah, it was great about the roof it
Get out of here you hippie bastard
You're punching any security guards on your way here. I let some people know what time it is. Skate 40s out of crime, dude
Sky Beat up a couple of jocks on your way here. Yeah, the beef continues
The day I die
I'm not a man. I'm a man.
I'm a man.
I'm a man.
I'm a man.
I'm a man.
I'm a man.
I'm a man.
I'm a man.
I'm a man.
I'm a man.
I'm a man.
I'm a man.
I'm a man.
I'm a man.
I'm a man.
I'm a man.
I'm a man.
I'm a man.
I'm a man.
I'm a man.
I'm a man.
I'm a man.
I'm a man.
I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. Okay, well you ever sent away in the summer where you ever sent off to an anc and uncles for the weekend for the week
Go with your cousins without your parents. Yeah, you were all the time down the shore get out of my mom's hair
Sure the shore
I know but that I just would have left what we had what my am patty had a house and see aisle shout out the am patty
had what my aunt patty had a house in C aisle shout out the amp hadty, uh, amp hadty and Uncle John, uh, amp hadty had a
house in C aisle, big old house, a riddled with disbestus.
I'm sure this thing was from like the 1800s.
It'll act me.
And, uh, yeah, one parent or one aunt, whether it was my
aunt patty or sometimes she was working.
So we had Carol, Mikey's mom would be down there and like one
aunt or I'm usually an would you be down at the house
and watch everybody during the week,
I'll watch all the kids during the week
while the parents were at home working.
It's like Lord of the Flies.
Yeah, it was, you know, everybody had bikes,
the beach, she'll boogie boards, the whole nine yards.
Yeah, what about you?
I went down to Myrtle Beach with my aunt and uncle
and my cousins.
I'm not talking about scoring fireworks
and then driving back.
Yeah.
Hey man, we had to pick some stuff up.
That's a shame.
Play it cool at the border, will you?
Yeah, no, it was just,
you got an answer, crystal up your ass.
We stated this horrible.
That's a nut.
I mean, that's a crystal.
You mule it. I know, you see. Chris, when you. I mean, that's a, crystal mule.
I know, you see,
Chris, when you call it crystal,
that means you're in the game.
It's meth or crystal meth or meth, they have fed it.
You don't say I gotta fucking out,
so crystal on me.
That's where a guy who's already dipped into the bag.
Crystal means you're banging, okay?
It's all slang.
Crystal Tina, Tina math all my
yards yeah ice no ice I'll give you
you gotta get off the ice crank yeah shut up the dog shot I was always a dog
you would get a guy in the back of the car be looking at on the guys he likes
a miss always like a missig like it was about to fucking face the firing squad
if you were cool with dog he was was cool with you. Oh, yeah.
If not, you were getting the bear spray.
Yeah.
Which I don't think they were allowed to have, by the way.
Those guys played it fast.
They ran around like ninjas.
What are you talking about?
They had a pony tail.
They didn't have like sirens or special license plates.
No, I mean, I don't think bounty hunters do.
That's how he got jammed up.
I'm sure we've, we've talked about this, but that's how we got jammed do. That's how he got jammed up. I'm sure we've, till we talked about this,
but that's how we got jammed up.
That's how he became famous.
What?
There was a guy who murdered somebody.
I think it was from the Estee Lauderd family,
and he ran down to Mexico, like, you know,
it was on the run.
It was 14 guys.
And he was wanted and dog just went down there
and kidnapped the guy and brought him back
to the, I had to break him back to the US.
Like, no jurist dick should know nothing.
Yeah.
Just jacked it dude up.
Yeah, that's all the bounty hunting's an odd profession.
I as a young man would go, they would send me and my brother up to my uncle Bernies
out at the lake.
Shout out to him.
Shout out to uncle Eater, Anthony and Uncle Bernie.
That's those two didn't have kids. Yeah, my uncle, they sent us out to my Uncle Bernie's
like once every summer out to,
I think it was Lake Silkworth.
If I'm not mistaken.
What was up there?
My crawler fold.
Lake Silkworth.
That's how it was called.
And we go up there and my cousin Joe would roll in.
He was about five years older.
My cousin Carol would be there.
And he'd take his fishing and all that stuff.
It was real like, you know, out with the boys kind of.
Sure.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then famously, when my grandmother was sick,
my mom sent me to like a distant cousins for like about a month
while my grandmother was sick.
My brother got to go to my Aunt Ray Cather,
an Uncle of Mayor, or my Aunt Ray Cathering
and my Uncle Reds and really live it up over down WB.
I got sent out to the sticks
with a bunch of kids I didn't know.
Yeah, no, that's slept on a fold-out couch.
I don't know, I was like three years old.
Yeah, I don't know if that's still fully the story.
I think Patty's throw some fucking smoking mirrors
every time that's brought up.
That ain't the real story. It was either her and your dad were about to get a divorce or she was out of hookin or something.
Dump me in a post office box.
$100 bill stable deer show. I won some of they sent me to the firehouse for about three months.
I was earning my keep fighting the Dalmatian for a couple of scraps.
Yeah, that's why I never, but that was the, yeah, the growing up, the thing was get,
get to the shore, how you gonna get to the shore, who's gonna bring you back?
It was like, my mom's driving down, Aunt Carol can bring you home in three Sundays or whatever.
It was just get down there.
What'd you do for cash down there?
What do you mean? Would you get broken off before you left?
Oh, I mean, I wasn't. I didn't have like, I would age and like seven and stuff.
Sure. Five, six, seven, like, you know, parents. I mean, my
aunt was, you don't want to get candy or something like that.
Yeah. I'm sure my mom gave money to my aunt or whatever.
But I mean, that also at that point,
I wasn't getting handed 20s.
May, like, maybe I might have had like 40 bucks in my bag or something.
I mean, not that I, I mean, that's not got a chain wallet on walking around
with a fucking bill full of hundreds.
I was, I was hitting the boards with that.
I was eating hot dogs and Fudgy Wudgy's the whole week.
It was, I mean, five bucks a day kept me too sweet.
Uh, yeah, I'm sure my aunt and my mom are, we gave my aunt, you know, I mean five bucks a day get me too sweet
Yeah, I'm sure my aunt and my mom are we gave my aunt, you know, I don't know but that yeah
That's when my mom went like full time back to work and they're a divorce just pedaling also off on anybody with a hundo
No camp for you. I assume
Little very very little my sister worked at a camp like a date like a she was like a camp counselor for a long time and I would go to that maybe one or two summers right right
right like a street like a hockey camp we did that was like a week long or like you know
Monday through Friday or whatever takes it. I did do I think I had to tell you this like a band camp.
No, you didn't.
It was technically a summer music program.
Uh-huh.
And it was at a college out by you.
Er, sinus.
No, Briar wood.
Ah, shit.
It's like a small, it might even be a junior college. God damn it real small private
Swarthmore no prior minor. Yeah, that's
Brinmore Brinmore no
Harkham Harkham junior college Harkham junior
I gotta see if that comes up. Oh you carolers
Harkham junior college that's wow The fact that that came back to me.
You had to procle Haram music camp doing a Wider Shade of Pale all summer.
Uh, something on it.
So it was like, I was just making Chinese music.
I don't know the fuck you never heard that song.
Wider Shade of Pale.
Turn to Wider Shade of Pale.
No, you play the bridge and I'll let you know.
No, you play the bridge and I'll let you know. No, you're fat.
Yeah.
The classic.
Yeah, Harcombe College.
Where is that?
Hold on, I'm sorry.
This is man.
This is bringing it back.
Holy shit.
Yeah, it's in Brynmore.
It's in Brynmore.
It's in Brynmore.
Can you think of Brynmore?
Harcombe Junior College in Brynmore.
Wabble, whatever. It was, I was in a band back in the day, you know? Brinmore it's in Brynmore. I could think of Brynmore a Harkham Junior College in Brinmore. Well whatever it was
I was in a band back in the day, you know, I'm young. This is
Seventh grade maybe eighth grade. Uh-huh bear. I look at them. She's getting all mad. You're not the only musician. Okay.
Fucking sunny day over here
Luke got my keyboard
Play white rain or whatever you're just saying
what is it called a lighter shade of fat
well the lighter shade of pale it's a famous song
your remix would be a thicker cut of bacon
whatever
thicker salt of bacon
extra side of mayo
give me an extra side of mail.
Okay.
Um, so we went, wait a minute, back this to fuck up, was it a sleepaway camp?
No, it could have slept there, but there was no AC in the dorms, which I found out.
I thought you'd be like a van or something like that, trying to get the full experience.
No, so I've had to talk about it at some point
in the past three years. No, to be banned camp summer music program.
Yeah. I take the checkbook away from you if I knew that. What are you nuts? This
whole operation being run by God damn nerd. Yeah. Shit. and then you shit. Like in school or rock over here.
Yeah.
It was very that kind of.
He weren't there training to be security.
Let me guess.
I'm a groupie.
I'm just blowing all the other kids.
Penny Lane was your instructor.
Did the weekend and you won the battle of the game. I'm not a fan of the game.
I'm not a fan of the game.
I'm not a fan of the game.
I'm not a fan of the game.
I'm not a fan of the game.
I'm not a fan of the game.
I'm not a fan of the game.
I'm not a fan of the game.
I'm not a fan of the game.
I'm not a fan of the game.
I'm not a fan of the game. I'm not a fan of the game. I did all of that. You just said that like, I told you I didn't have any
tell me to leave your
Colin. This is what you should do.
I started this story with I have
done that. I just picture this movie
opening up with like listen,
we were trying to make a demo.
Okay. There's a
good Jeff Chris down here to mix it
it perfectly. Rick Rubin wasn't
picking up my calls, okay?
I had to get to him somehow.
And the first stop was Harkham Jr. College.
I just picture the opening shot
as there's like a bus in front of like a bus station
and the bus pulls away and it shows you
with like a saxophone case in your hand.
Were you gonna name the album Harkham Asylum?
That's pretty good.
Seventh grade. Seth grade, maybe, maybe, I think it was going into, uh, going into 8th grade, maybe.
Okay.
I read it on that, 12, 13, whatever that ages.
And we, somebody got a, I guess it was online, maybe they saw something or a pamphlet
or something and it was like, you go there and you could go as a band
Oh, I just figured the A and R guy saw you
Katty mate
As Keith Richards
I saw you in Finland on the roof want you to come down to McCamp
Holy shit man talk about finding a little piece of gold
Do a little digging. He's got to do a little digging, folks. I could as wise word of God
I would have brought this out years ago. I thought I had nothing on this you don't remember no so
We we could join as a band or as like an individual
I want to do my own stuff. He-he-he!
I'm the lead singer of the band.
Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.
Who's springing for this, the piece?
My dad.
This was like...
Man, the eye roll he probably gave when he wrote that check.
No, he was in the music. It wasn't like... like man the eye roll he probably gave when he wrote that check.
No, he was into music.
It wasn't like he was in the like fall cat.
He was a big stones guy. Give him a little shelter.
If you catch my.
No, it's a.
I remember sitting in this dorm and sweating my fucking ball sacks off.
We got bamboozled as what it was.
So let me get it.
So the idea was you could join as a band or as an individual and they would pair up individuals
when they got there.
And it was like a week long, you just played every day.
And then at the end of the...
What did you play, your bass?
My bad.
You made it sound like it's not a real
bass. I would play your bass. Yeah. One straight. I played bass.
I bet there was a lot of topping going to do do do do do do do do do.
So what do they have instructors that would like teach you the basics of
bass? I'm trying to know it was like you joined as like, no, it was for
accredited musicians. It wasn't just like no it was for accredited musicians
It wasn't just like it wasn't for first-timers
All right, this is for people who play gigs
I
Had a couple of gigs under my belt. We did the talent show and the 50 year anniversary. Did you go as a band?
Yes a group of us did was flip involved in this
I Don't think so. Or was he still
with Emerson Lake and Palmer? I think this was maybe pre-flip or I think when the band
started to gel when flip came on the scene. Nah, I came in with this bad attitude and
tore us apart. Solid musician. It's great. Good kid. Shout out to Zinsky.
Check out Flips Man Zinsky.
Um, I know.
So we joined, I think it was like three or, I think it was three of us.
One, two, three.
It was a guitarist, a drummer bassist, me.
And then when we got there, they threw in another guitarist who like, they didn't have
a whole man.
This kid.
That's poison.
He's a wet new down.
This kid's stunk a rama.
I mean, could shred, they could shred.
I'll give him that.
He did a rendition of fucking AC DC
that'll blow your hair back.
But he's stunk.
I've always tried to find this kid
like one time a year.
I'll go, why?
I don't know, just to see what he's up to.
See if he's still fucking melting face.
He's up to stolen stolen in my lyrics?
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Hey, that riff was mine, man.
That fruit by the foot riff was mine.
Uh, yeah, so we went and it was like,
you worked all week on like covers,
you know what I mean, like whatever,
with like a really good like musician.
Okay.
You know what I mean,
somebody that can kind of play everything,
like, you know, a utility player,
Pizzett. Sure. Probably Mitch wanting something like that. I gotcha. musician, okay, you know what I mean somebody that can kind of play everything like you know a utility player visit sure probably
Midge wanting something like that. I gotcha. He could sing he could dance
He could do it all you know, no he gets so he would like and you would pick like I may be like four songs
We picked and then at the end of the week on like I guess Thursday you went to a recording studio like a proper recording studio
Cut a what cut a record
recording studio like a proper recording studio. Oh, cut a record.
That's gotta be some way.
I'm not even fucking around.
I'm pretty sure it's in a shoe box in the closet
at my old room at my mom's house.
I can picture it in there.
Come on.
And I'll bring it up for sure.
We're definitely on cassette or CD.
CD.
Okay.
We were the real deal.
Cossets.
Okay.
The same airheads.
You gotta get that
You know what's so funny. I'm surrounded by technology and have no way to play
There's not a CD player on that fancy computer. I bought you with the neon lights. There's run in the boom box I'll put the down in the basement. There's a five-dish changer down in the basement. Yeah
So
Yeah, you do you like you picked four songs. I think we did like I think we did white
room by cream of course something by AC DC not help what's the what's this what you laid
down so what we put on wax really uh-huh okay and I tried to fight for some originals they fucking uh and then at the end of the at the end of this
they didn't go for died coax and dinner rolls
that was the name of the album by the way
double CD
died coax and dinner rolls Iway to read a water
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Betterhelp.com slash garbage today. Do do it that's all right man uh yes it was in on Friday I guess that was Thursday you went in
the recall we move quick back in the day you know what do you mean come on right a couple of riffs
get in there put them on wax I remember being so nervous in the fuck I mean this is the this is the
height of fucking radio at this point you got to get a on tape to get it to the fun. I know. So and then Friday we played a, uh, uh, played a gig, the
Roxie. That was the cafeteria of Harcombe Jr. College if we're being honest.
That'd be awesome. They gave me the real experience and had to get some bar.
People throwing cans at us and shit. You're head's big.
You can't shred in your head's big.
Yeah, that was that.
I think it was like 400 bucks to go...
But I remember pushing the...
We get an album or whatever, you know.
Sure.
And I think it was 900 bucks if you stayed there.
We didn't say it because they just put you in a dorm. And the the rehearsal room was just a dorm room. Was it close enough?
What close to you?
We had to get driven every day. She's I think my dad drove us every day
Yeah, wow would pick us up and drive us wow. Yeah, man
Tonight is summer music program if any of you aspiring singers songwriters or musicians out there
I highly recommend it.
Yeah?
Uh-huh.
I learned a lot.
It was a...
Yeah, you try to, you know, at a fucking 11 years old you want to be a fucking rock star,
you know what I mean?
Sure.
You still do.
Making funny though, I did a theater camp.
You moved to North Carolina to get on Dawson's Creek and you're breaking my stones when I was 11
This fucking balls on this guy. I was 24 at the time and went down and smoke crack. Oh
Yeah, family to watch as it show prank caller
I forgot it's opposite day and it's called rock
It's called crystal when you're in the biz.
Yeah, I did a camp at Ford's Theatre in Phoenixville, PA.
Stay with my cousins for a week.
We did a production of Big Rock at Candy's Mountain.
You were the Big Rock.
No, he was the Candy Mountain.
No.
Can't remember what I played.
It was like a woodstock thing.
My cousin was a star of it. She killed it.
Yeah. I just had a small part. Yeah, small part. It was my first step, you know? I just got into the scene.
Uh, I just got into the biz. Yeah, sure. It's alright though. But yeah, those, I mean like as a kid they were good fun.
It's different. You're getting out of your fucking comfort zone. You know what I mean? Because if it was up to me,
I'd be sitting on the couch watching reruns of Mori
and fucking L.O.'s pizza all summer.
What a way to spend the summer.
You ain't lying.
God damn, AC cranking, parents fucking nowhere in sight,
couple of Ilios.
And man, I remember not having cable,
but Fox did a great job.
It would be like a double shot of what's happening,
a double shot of Hogan's heroes. It was fucking a great job. It would be like a double shot of what's happening a double shot of Hogan's heroes
It was fucking a good time throwing a price is right in there a live price is right. I watch it every day at 11
Wait, that was great. That's clean living. I'll tell you this what
You get your hands on that CD
I'll shop it around a couple of guys. Yeah, right now you get your hands on that.
I'll break out the the short film that's back there. What's short film? The short film that I
did in North Carolina. It's right back there. No, but see this is you want to show people.
No, I don't. Yeah, yes you do. You've read out a movie theater. You'd have a red car. Oh,
we need a couple eyeballs. We can get this. See, this is how he operates.'ve run out of movie theater you'd have a red carpet all we need is a couple eyeballs
We get this now see this is how he operates. I ran out of movie
Fucking doing a red carpet and shit. So what why why why did you first see see Henry act? You got your parents there and shit
That's the difference. I would just like to hear it. That's all yeah
I also don't want to see your short film
You're gonna. I'm sure try to fucking tell me the options to it So man if you're gonna do some embarrassing shit. I guess I can bring my old movie
I mean I guess you are such a fucking fat idiot
You are such a ham. I tell you let us you play that I'll bring in my episode of manifest
Number one show on Netflix
I mean you are something else. Yeah, really.
But that's neither here nor there.
I'll see if I have it.
I feel like it's probably got thrown away, but I can picture it.
Nobody's throwing that away.
She might have cleared it out, but if that shoe box is still in there, there's a really
good chance that that album's there.
Sure. They're that album that CD
You got the vinyl, but that's neither here nor there again. We got a gosh darn family episode where we got to answer your garbage
Questions when you join a patreon we will answer your garbage question on a airbaby shout out to the fucking homies
Oh, yeah, we love you. We love the bozos the whole army of garbage comes in full force, baby
All right, this one's from Jeff $10 homie ever pay for a haircut with a check.
That's probably back in the day.
I'm sure, do they even, what was, did everybody just take a check?
Back in the day, I remember like my mom would use them for like a tutor or the cleaning
woman or, you know, at the acme or whatever.
I've told I've written maybe four checks in my life.
Yeah, I've bounced.
I've bounced most of the checks.
One was for drugs.
I remember specifically because I was fuming that the kid hit me up and was like, hey, whatever.
And then I think two were the cash. That's bad. They didn't necessarily go trill
Uh-huh, that's a young man
Yeah, they didn't I my checkbook experience was very brief. Yeah, I don't even have it
I don't know I haven't had a checkbook since I signed up for my account at TD bank like fucking
15 20 years ago, but I was watching the science field the other day
where he goes into the end over shop to get the jacket
where Elaine meets Craig.
Sure.
The guy with the ponytail.
He wrote a check for that jacket.
Yeah, at department stores.
I don't ever remember.
Patty, I remember writing checks at the grocery store
because I was mortified.
Well, that's what I'm saying, but.
Even though I had no idea what it really meant,
I just knew that this was a tough look.
It was buying you a couple of days.
Because it's all it was doing, baby.
It was, it was lunch to me to be gone.
Yeah, it was kicking it kicking the can of embarrassment down a road.
Yeah, let's do this through the bank.
Not face to face.
I just knew it was weird because it like really held up the line.
Yeah, but back then everybody, do we even when I was a cashier at Acme?
I mean,
I was thinking a good amount of people road checks.
What was he thinking?
And the best way to do it, the best way to write the check back in the day, the guys who
were,
because at that point everybody's paying credit card at that point.
Like this was 2005, There were 2003 or whatever
So it's like a lot of people are still paying you know, there's a good amount of people still paying in check
You know one you know 10 15% of people are paying in check the reason all that stuff went away is because people were getting ripped off right
I just think the technology between you know became so much easier. I mean how long would it take the grocery store to figure out that this check is bad
I So much easier. I mean how long would it take the grocery store to figure out that this check is bad? I
Think a day or two, but then but then I mean like right and bad checks like not the person
No, like there's just no money in there
Yeah, if there's no money if the if it's written from the person like if I write you a check and it bounces yes
I'm liable for that money
Really? Yeah like Kevin you as the check writer is liable for the money. Oh, Yeah. Like Kevin, you, as the check writer,
is liable for the money.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know, sure.
I think the bank, Mike, or the store
probably gets made whole through the bank.
And then they go, okay, we're gonna turn our sites on.
So this guy can't write checks anymore.
Did you have anybody like that when you were back?
No, I don't think, no, I don't think anybody
was doing that, but it was also like,
you had to check for like eight things on a check to make sure like we had
the if these eight things weren't on the check, we couldn't take the check.
Wow, I got signature, the check number, the bank name, the routing number, the check,
the check and account number. Yeah, I'm not talking about fake checks.
Frank having mail. I think that's what people were concerned about because then your beat. Sure.
Then you're like, you fucked up. There's nobody. You can't get the bank. I think that's what people were concerned about because then your beat sure then you're like you a fucked up There's nobody you can't get the bank. I think we'll make the store hole. I
Think it's a real check if it's a real check and there's just no money. I believe
Never a haircut now
That's a lie could a fucking cuz then you don't really have any then you just have the embarrassment
You'd have to post a picture of them going this guy writes bat this guy floats checks sure
Barass man, you'd have to post a picture of them going this guy writes bad this guy floats checks sure
But the the way to write a check back in the day was at a grocery store whatever not to jam that lineup was come
Come in with it filled out and you just had to write the amount
You know what I mean? It was the people would go I got it. It's 103 98 and go 103 98 boom. Here's my day
Take it and go out the fucking disorder yikes
You never fuck with checks right you two young for that just for like rent payments and stuff I've never like written a check at a store
That's like 80 shit to me. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, what about your mom? You ever see your mom write a check? No
Like a grocery store or anything that no never always debit card swiping
Yeah, there you go. Oh, yeah, classy
bro. Oh, yeah. Um, let's see here. Uh, all right. This is, uh, from Cody with graduation season
here. What's a respectable amount to give your little sister-in-law for high school graduation
party? What a fucking great, damn question.
Fantastic.
Graduation, because I got one coming up, baby.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Great, great question.
I haven't been to, shit, I don't know if I've ever
been to a graduation party as an adult.
I was either not, that was always the thing.
I can, you know, up in, you know, fucking run around doing spots and stuff
like that, trying to, trying to make a name for yourself.
That would that always got sideline.
Oh, yeah, even weddings, weddings, weddings were usually
on the thing, you know what I mean?
If it was the wrong weekend, you know what I mean?
You had a spot or something like that.
Couple of funerals too.
Yeah, put me muderals too. Yeah.
Put me mud in the face.
Yeah, you got, yeah, for a graduation.
Yeah, but that's like a Wednesday.
Beat it.
Yeah, working.
I just had to miss one too, because we were on the road.
But the graduation, the graduation, yeah, my cousin's kid.
Yeah, we're just doing.
It's also like, it's just tough to New York to where they are.
I think they're like, they're like out by you.
We're like Delco.
It's like, that's a hump to get there.
Sure.
I don't know, I got the car.
I can't even get banged up.
When I picture a graduation party,
I picture a roasting hot backyard with no pool.
I don't know why.
That's what and wearing like being like,
kind of dressed up with like an uncomfortable shoulder.
Have some sort of collar on and sweatin.
God, dying.
Miss match ankle socks.
Yeah, drinking a half warm corona,
talking to somebody about something like that.
Oh, where are you going next year?
Oh, yeah.
That was comedy going.
When you grabbed, when you,
I borrowed 10 bucks.
You got a check on your shirt.
Oh, where are my dad's clothes?
Yeah.
And I'm pretty sure I'm going to have to walk back to New York. Where are my dads closed?
And I'm pretty sure I'm gonna have to walk back to New York 38 and I'm wearing my dads closed from 10 years ago
Got one coming up good kid too real good kid. I would go isn't like I mean because I think the idea is to get them ready for
Going away to college right like ever you got to have some money when you go away to college. Depends what your cash situation is.
It depends what their family's cash situation is.
I don't think that should matter.
What they're, what their family's cash situation is.
You're getting into the kid.
Sure.
I mean, if they do very, very well, you know,
I mean, you know, the kids taking care of,
he don't need your 200 bucks or whatever it is.
Yeah, I don't think you should look, I mean, I see what you're saying, but that to me is selfish to look at what the parents have to be like, oh, this kid doesn't.
He don't need it.
You give, we give, we give across the board. It should be the relationship to you.
Like if they're close, like your nephew should give 500.
This guy goes the fucking band camp, all of a sudden get some fucking morals over here.
I'm dude, I have a strict moral code. What so okay, hold on this specific question is
His sister-in-law his sister-in-law. Yeah, he could be 26 and a 26 and a sixers graduate in college. Yes, his wife sister-in-law
High school or college or whatever I
Don't know do you have a do you have like a, me, I have no idea. I like we said
we never went because that was, that was always first on the chat. I would say now. Hold on
a second. I know what I'm dropping on my boy because he's a good kid and I feel a bit guilty
about this.
But my, my, my cousin who's the graduation party I said I have to go to. Oh, okay.
His other cousins like his sister and, and his and his other older cousin, when they graduated, I was
on my ass.
They got nothing.
They were the less they graduated six months ago.
You've been on your ass.
The one, the one might have got promised something to, I'll send you something.
That never happened.
Sure.
But I'm going to make it all up with him.
That's just a luck and a draw.
That's kind of shitty, but yeah
What I would you jump what dare to bring them one too? Should I do that?
Should I pray this was for you? Hey, can I make myself feel better and make this all about me?
Hey, how do I make this kids graduation about me? Huh?
Bring me other kids over. You're after with fucking stags on your fucking throw. I want them man
You are a fucking hammerino
This guy likes this spotlight once the I want you playing your short film for everybody while you're there too
See if you can get funding you fat fucking
You guys have a screen here, my name is here with scoojis
I remember doing shows there. And just when you start out in comedy, you won.
You did one with me there.
They're almost into our relationship.
I know.
I have picture just but that was not too long.
Or that picture just popped up in my dude.
Your eyeballs are like fucking pin points.
Looking right through me.
Got into the doubles bag that night kids. I'm not going to be a little bit more little bit more little bit more
little bit more
little bit more
little bit more
little bit more
little bit more
little bit more
little bit more
little bit more
little bit more
little bit more little bit more I think I think you stopped it and stopped by glass. So it's been fine before the
thing.
You got a real problem.
I picked up a couple of things.
I got to stop by the Pfizer warehouse real quick. Get my head on straight.
I fucking hated you that day. Oh my god. You had a shitty vest on you brought that kid. I fucking hated it
You guys were so funny guys immediately passed out of my car drunk while at like fucking 315 p.m. On a Friday
Fucking came in
Started cranking heaters and passed out and the I was so fucking mad at you dude
In all time low for a lot of us.
But especially the crowd that night, they were about 70 years old.
They hated our guys.
I'm so bad, dude.
It's always on pills.
All right.
I'm going to excuse all fuck.
That's on roller skate.
No, but I remember when you start off in comedy,
you don't go right to the cool comedy clubs
that you're happy to post about.
And I remember having to post someone's,
I'm like, hey, if the name of the place stunk,
you did a better, you would do like the town.
I'll be in Brynmore on the 18th or something.
And I remember some kids like, where's it at?
And I was like, skew jeez.
That's like, oh man.
That's, that's like out of a, that's out of a comedy,
like a stand-up comedy movie.
But skew jeez is a great place to add a little bar up front.
Fantastic dude, been going there since I was a kid.
Fantastic spot.
Yeah.
Go to tang and food over there.
Just the show, the set up to the show wasn't ideal. Yeah, we stunk. Oh, yeah.
Place was fantastic. Yeah. Oh, fuck. Anyway, what are we talking about? Oh, what to get? Hold on.
So you don't think I should do that. Make wrongs right. How long ago was it?
I think they're both juniors in college.
Yeah, that's, yeah, you, that would look like an asshole.
That would come off super weird to me.
Hey, things were, things weren't good when you guys graduated
and I'm taking care of you, whatever,
I wanted to make sure you guys were whatever.
They don't need it either.
I'd be like, this guy killed a guy,
he's trying to make a man.
Yeah, that's what that, that's like my name is Earl type shit
That's like you fucking that's that's too weird to dude if one of my cousin if my uncle
Dude if my uncle came up to as a junior and cause I hey things were in show greep back in a day
Here's 200 bucks. I'm like, ah, hey buddy. Take a fucking chill pill. Yeah, right, you wouldn't take the two, Andy?
Yeah, it's lucky you're weird, though.
I see what you're saying.
Okay.
I just think it's the same thing.
I am very misguided with all that.
It's the same thing as like what you said
where you tip the construction marker.
It's like that same, like, it just doesn't,
the transactional is it's not a good transactional point
if that means.
Okay, that's all I think.
I mean, the sentiment is good.
I understand that. My one cousin had a birthday not that long ago and I made all I think. I mean, the sentiment is good. I understand that.
My one cousin had a birthday not that long ago and I made sure I was a little bit,
you know, heavier with the. Yeah, get it up to him on the next graduation.
All right. Yes. Sorry. I was a fucking. I, I, I, I sorry, I stiffed you back in the
fear. Yeah, that make it up. They're, they're juniors. I got one year left.
Okay. Fucking, you know, all right. That's when you hit him
That's the that's the time to make the transactions right there. I have a family friend that I iced on their wedding too
It's always bothered me. What do you drop it? I got hammer drunk. Yeah, it's been I mean let's move on from that what
I got a guy I got a couple of notes. Lumpin out
Get it pussy The crab king suck.
I wish GMDAR.
I'm making my wrongs right?
It took path to the goddamn indie.
I'm there enough.
I'm fucking, I'm doing what a guy can do.
I can't just show up on people's tour steps with a bag of cash
I got damn pedophile
Let everybody know I'm Kevin Ryan I used to be a piece of shit. I just moved to the neighborhood
I'm still a piece of shit, but I got a couple of shakles on me
Look those days, you know, if you don't remember I showed up at your wedding with a plus one and didn't have a plus one I mean, man. I mean, man. I mean, man. I mean, man. I mean, man. I mean, man. I mean, man.
I mean, man.
I mean, man.
I mean, man.
I mean, man.
I mean, man.
I mean, man.
I mean, man.
I mean, man.
I mean, man.
I mean, man.
I mean, man.
I mean, man.
I mean, man.
I mean, man.
I mean, man.
I mean, man.
I mean, man.
I mean, man.
I mean, man.
I mean, man. I mean, man. I mean, man. I mean, man. I mean, man. Let's talk about keeping your business a private your business is your business because you know what they say every time
You use the internet without express VPN
Mm-hmm, you're putting your business out there. Yeah, it's like when you tried to pass a note in high school
Did a girl be in light and then the then the class bully grabbed it?
He reads it out loud. He knows that you're writing your poems and you look at an idiot. Yep, both express
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Express VPN dot carbon express VPN dot com slash garbage today do it gang. It'll be our little secret now back to the show
Well back in the day to get for me my average bank account not liabilities not bills that had to be paid or that's
I already had incurred my average floating bank account not liabilities not bills that had to be paid or that's I already had incurred my average
Floating bank account was probably a hundred and eighty three dollars. Yeah, look at you. Yeah, but that's like
I oh built like I was like we're spinning the plates. I never had more than if I had if I had more than 200
I was in my figure I felt rich. You know what I mean? Yeah. So it's like, now I got a wedding in Philly,
I got to get there.
That's 40 bucks to get to Philly.
So now I'm down to 100.
Now you know Amtrak, Trane.
No.
That's the three hour tripe,
tripe, or ring it to what?
To war,
You're on top of it like the Darje of money. I'm not going to get a lot of
money.
I'm not going to get a lot of
money.
I'm not going to get a lot of
money.
I'm not going to get a lot of
money.
I'm not going to get a lot of
money.
I'm not going to get a lot of
money.
I'm not going to get a lot of
money.
I'm not going to get a lot of
money.
I'm not going to get a lot of
money.
I'm not going to get a lot of
money. I'm not going to get a lot of money. I'm not going to get a lot of money. I'm not going to get a lot of money. I got to have fueled it so I can drink more, old. A pack of heaters next thing you know,
I got plus I got to get home for another 40 minutes.
Real tight with the ones at the bar too, I bet.
You always went to your place.
That's where I spent, I hit them with a fucking,
probably then I hit them with a 10 early,
woohoo, hit them with it.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
hey, jerk off over here.
Remember this big forehead? Will y''ll be back in about 15 minutes.
You ever see a $3 bill huh?
Straight me out for the next four hours. That's actually collectors.
I take it back.
Oh shit. Okay, so what are you gonna give to your nephew? Um, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Let's do the recommendations first and then we'll see where you land.
No, let's find out what he does.
Send Nancy where he lands on the scale.
Yeah, okay.
Um, he might hear this.
Write it down.
Okay.
Can you, can you straighten me out with a piece of paper in a pen? Look!
Pet Hans for me.
We got the dog in the studio.
Scratch the dog smelly.
Tell my love them.
Okay, T-bone got us a pen and paper. Write it. Let's see where you fall in the national scale. Does it give you like high school?
Call it like middle school high school college. Okay. I yes, I'm assuming you stiff them on middle school too. What the fuck?
I ain't with what? Yeah, you know, again, you know, I can pay I think it paid out for middle school. Maybe a couple of aunts and uncles might have straightened me out. Got out of my uncle Mike and my aunt Colleen.
This is what I was thinking.
I think I probably know.
I probably have like a guesstimate.
But you also are very bad with money.
Well, it's about to go worse.
Ha ha ha ha.
There you go.
All right.
There you go. All right.
That was lower than I thought you were gonna go.
Give me the gun.
Give me the gun.
Give me the gun.
That was one lower than I thought you were gonna go.
Just one.
Yeah.
All right.
All right.
Don't middle school forget about it.
What would you give a kid for middle school?
Now that I, now that I,
the fuck outta here here nothing middle school?
No my my nephew I give him the sex talk and tell him not to be a weirdo
You kidding me
Middle school. Yeah, man
If your if your niece is enough you just said your uncles gave you stuff
What do I don't understand what you mean? You just said your uncles might have broken you off all right four grand
Yeah, probably a hundred bucks or something or maybe a pair of shoes or something That's what what I've been giving to kids. I've been keeping kids fucking plate in a Jordan's.
That's pretty good. Uh, the recommendation is 10 to 30 dollars.
Woo. Seems wildly low to me. That's low. These kids are rich now.
That's what patty does. Patty, patty usually goes low with the number, but it's very frequent.
That's good. Don't get, don't get 10 on St. Patrick's Day.
Look at 10 on Valentine's Day.
Yeah.
That's good.
Okay.
All right, high school.
30 to 200.
What the fuck?
Real.
30 bucks.
What is this from the 1800s?
This is from 2023.
Oh, jeep.
Oh, they're fuckers.
30 bucks. Yeah, but I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, You give them the money and then that's their nest egg to go away to college. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like they're for freshman year.
May I think most checks I got were probably 25 or 50.
That doesn't make sense. Maybe I think it was like 20, 25 was like standard.
Now that I think of it, graduation night, I didn't have a graduation party.
Everybody came to graduation night.
And I think I probably got maybe,
I don't know, nine to 10 envelopes.
Maybe pulled in 250, maybe three bills.
Yeah, that makes about sense.
You got one club, if you're closer to an uncle,
who's got a little bit of cash, maybe you want a Hyundai,
or something.
We were leaving the next day for senior week down in Ocean City oh to my graduation money didn't make it past Wednesday
what do you mean? yeah I was fucking down
yeah um I had that in a sheet of acid stuffed in a
restaurant at the end of the universe
the book right in my
it's always about food with you, huh? Even in space. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha They sure do. I would assume college should be smaller than high schools,
the biggest accomplishment to me.
You're on your own.
Yeah, college, it's like motherfucker 24.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I should have been working.
All right, college, 30 to 500.
30, what's with the 30?
That makes sense.
Who did this Rachel Ray?
Remember when she was going around Europe, Penny Pinchin?
No.
You don't remember that show, maybe it wasn't her.
Yeah, but maybe it wasn't her,
but I think somebody had a travel show.
It was like $40 a day, give that a Google real quick.
And they would go, they would, how you could get hostile.
No, no, no, it was just restaurants.
Okay.
And they would leave like $1.15 for a tip. And Europe, that's fine though. Well, maybe it was just restaurants. Oh, okay. And they would leave like a dollar 15 for a tip.
Europe, that's fine though.
Well, maybe it wasn't Europe.
I'm telling you.
I remember Bourdain really, really ripping on them for it.
So yeah, you can save money if you stiff
every bartender or waiter in the city.
Rachel Ray's tasty travels.
Okay.
Yeah, it was 40 bucks a day, right?
Yep, 40 bucks a day.
Yeah. Well, you're living you learn right? Yep, 40 bucks a day. Yeah.
Well, you're living you learn, you know what I mean?
Sure.
Um, okay.
Oh no, that show was called, that show was called $40 a day.
The show she had after was race, was Rachel Ray's taste of travels.
Okay.
Just use that pasty travel.
Um, all right, so Foley was, you know, do you want to reveal what you want to give?
I mean, that wouldn't be tasteful. I, I agree. I'll give you, I give? I mean, that wouldn't be tasteful.
I, I agree.
I'll give you, I'll give you that.
It wouldn't be tasteful.
But.
400.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
It was.
I thought you were gonna come.
I'll see you down there big man.
I love you kids.
So he's 18 probably.
He gives a fight.
He's like, he's probably already spinning.
He hears this.
He's fucking on Amazon right now.
Getting a blow up, Dolphins. And you know what, I get two tree drinks for me?
I'm going five.
How about that?
I thought you were gonna go five.
Because you think you can-
Alright, let's go five!
You think in round numbers like you do.
So I saw four, I was flabbergasted.
Well I didn't want to, I thought you usually use with yellow me.
Why?
For being too much.
No, no.
Why would you think I'm always gonna yell at you?
They think the other kids when they get winded out will be like his fucking dick head then then then you fucking bamboozle on one a graduate college
We already went over it. All right. You just can't go up to us. Somebody in hand them 500
I'd love that
Yeah, you're a dirt pack. These are learning people who made it to junior year of college
I did not. All right, fantastic questions.
There you go.
Fucking home run.
That's got to go in the repertoire.
Sure.
But I guess not a lot of people know
that you don't go to that many.
And it's like, oh, I had 25 bucks, 50 bucks.
Sure.
I remember I got a trapper keeper
from one uncle, Yikes.
It's like, buddy.ikes Buddy schools over dude. Yeah
Drug dealer don't take fucking trapper keepers
Better be some weed in here
All right, that's well this one's from that's not a snack. It's a lunch
I assume it's in regards to something you had said sure never have on red is a garbage
I have to wait for a decent weather day to trade in your car because the wipers don't work and you don't want them to find it out
That's a chest not checkers right there. Yeah, that
Hey, don't go reverse. You don't need to if it doesn't work or something. It's a home run. Yeah, that's pretty good
When I dropped the last car off
At the at the at the least guy,
I mean, dude, I had crushed eaters in there for three years straight.
Yeah, they did, I don't know.
We didn't give in the whole time.
It was gonna happen when you return it.
When they didn't, he's like, I don't give a fuck.
We need cards.
And no chips.
Cautumat the right time. They had no chips caught him at the right time
And no chips T-bone you got a chip up. Yeah, and no chips
They didn't know I took a chip out put it in my new car now I got two chips and I got double chip Jeep
All right, let's see this one's from Dion sandals long time
Long time $10 homie here is a garbage take your bedroom door off the hinges and use it as a beer pong table?
That's nice.
That's a real college 20 early, 20s had like, you know, I've, the hundreds of times I've
played beer pong where like a table had like a punch hole in it or like, you know, like
sure, kicking it from knocking it down or something.
It comes off and then it's like, well, that's the beer pong table.
Can I say this?
Because I thought about taking the doors off of my closet
to have a little more room in my bedroom.
And that's not as hard as you would think.
Taking doors off hinges.
You just pop the screwdriver in there,
those things come right out.
Yeah.
You know what I'm talking about?
The door's gotta be open though.
If the doors close, that's why they get like kicked in and shit.
What do you mean?
What do you mean?
I would open the doors and take them off.
I'll say it's saying most of, I'm sorry, I said, it's an easier process.
Oh, yeah.
Then you would think to take a door off the head.
I thought you were talking about a front door, like a bedroom door.
Yeah, I think even those are the same.
They're all just on hinges. Yeah. I'm taking a closet door off so that I could
Make more space in my little dirty ass room. Yeah, I just on the floor
Yeah, I want to put your head in the in the thing in the closet. Yeah, that's sweet. Yeah, it was awesome
Yeah, yeah, but the problem a little little stuff in there. Oh, yeah, that's good
I had a little I had way too late, dude. This was this had to have been like
2013 making 2012. I had a could you have closed hanging above you inside?
I mean where you are fucking losing a bad comedy club
It's debone and I had it was like 2013 and I had a combination
And I had it was like 2013 and I had a combination one unit VHS
Television that I would I would I bought a bunch of VHS at a thrift store and I popped those in that was in the closet with you No, that was the foot of the bed on a mirrored table
Jesus
Like curious I know I would assume
That the answer to this question is no I
I would assume that the answer to this question is no.
I have one yes and it was a long, long time ago and they didn't have kids,
but do you know anybody, any adults in your life
when you were a child that had a mirror on the ceiling?
Yeah, because my dad's boy did.
Drove a core that lived with this blonde headed bimbo
Yeah, that's where you want the that's it was maybe it's just boom hour. It was maybe 82
That's the neighbor fucking ethos for family. It was some guy that was he was in the Navy with that we drove like maybe it felt like
Three days would probably like 45 minutes away
We went to see him on a Sunday
I met because I met, because it was the summer
and they had the fireplace going,
I'm like, what the fuck is this place?
And it was real, at the f**k out.
And he took the gave us the tour,
shag carpet everywhere.
Trying to get a coer's bank, what I bet.
Dude, when it was that-
You won one little man.
You want to take a run at her?
She's all year, she's clean. I tested went into
Went into his bedroom and he had one of those like the posts on the bed
You know, they mean with like the canopy. Yeah, but it was a mirror and I remember I we thought it was so cool
My my my my start your joke
I'm gonna give this a shot. I remember when patty thought she's like oh get out of there
They're like dragged us out of the bed. Yeah.
Right now he's going on in there.
I think I remember, I don't know who it was,
but I remember there was one like on,
but it was, it was, I don't think the intention
of the bed manufacturer was sexual.
Mm-hmm.
Cause it was like in the,
like on the headboard?
Yeah.
What the fuck it was? I know, but it was very old. It Like on the headboard? Yeah.
The fuck it was.
I know, but it was very old.
It wasn't like...
That guy wouldn't have had it.
It was like from like the 20s or something.
It was very...
You think I'm thinking of freaky back then?
Yeah.
Give us some boardwalk empire.
I know, but it wasn't sex.
It wasn't like...
And it wasn't the whole thing.
It wasn't like a fucking, you know.
Was it just waste-hi?
Check that goods.
No, I think I've been smaller I
don't know it wasn't it wasn't real isn't a big enough where you can do one of
these pull the bait man I don't remember where it was though I remember seeing
that being like oh that's fucking freaky naughty and then being like nah I don't
think that's not it doesn does have the same vibes.
Probably your bandcamp.
I wish.
We're a slaying plus back then.
All right, let's see, this is from Jack,
$10 come back here and never have one red.
Is it garbage if your dad used to defrost the windshield
of his truck with a propane torch PS,
he ended up cracking it.
I guess when you're in a jam, if it's that much snow or ice or whatever and you're fucking
you're late for work.
I don't know about you guys, but back in the day, the icing technology was tough.
It was real tough.
The frost didn't work the way that it does now.
It was a nightmare.
Sure.
My dad would be out there scraping.
Oh yeah. Scraping. that it does now. It was a nightmare. Sure. My dad would be out there scraping. Oh, yeah, scraping.
Mm-hmm. No people do now. They put a towel over the. Yeah. The windshield in his yanket off.
Fucking genius. That I would never do that. Of course. Of course not because I'm a fucking idiot.
Now, Kippy would just rip the whole windshield off somehow. Sure. I would. I wed it or something.
Yeah, sure. I would have.
I wed it or something.
Uh, yeah, no.
I'll pour ice on it, my pool water on it myself.
I'm also very, I don't wait.
I fucking scrape just a little circle and keep it up.
Yeah, I gotta be a couple of feet before I start scraping.
Yeah, that's the way.
Yeah, you gotta be real dangerous when the roads are bad.
That's the worst time to be the worst time to lower your fucking peripheral vision.
In my opinion, that's when the windshield wiper fluid and the windshield wipers
is supposed to show to fuck up. Yeah, but they don't always, especially if they got a little bit
all you saw in them. They're getting tested to their limits. I'll take it at.
Trying to get that thing going jammed up for sure. Yeah. Uh, all right. Let's see.
This was one of this one's from Jay
First time long time as a garbageer run a forklift while crushing bud lights my company gets beers for everyone after four o'clock
And I'm the only one who drives the forklift management doesn't seem to care
Sweet gig
That's OSHA's playing. I mean you get OSHA to pop in on that you are
Never pop in I don't know They never pop in on a Friday.
I know someone who's got real,
that's gotten wack two three times.
Really?
Real bad.
Real bad where the fines are like 50 rent,
like they were like, hey, you been really fucking up.
Yeah.
That guy's operating a crane with a beer helmet on.
Uh.
Hey, buddy, you can't drive that bobcat with a catcher's mask on, right? guys operating a crane would a beer helmet on.
Hey, buddy, you can't drive that bobcat with a catcher's mask on, right?
This one's just the home run grace. Is a garbage if your karate studio shares a wall with a gas station.
That ain't fucking good.
That's, I mean, that's not a true dojo if we're being honest with you.
That's a pet voice.
Yeah, presented by Amco.
Uh, I don't even know in what world that would even work,
because most gas stations are stand alone.
Solar.
Or connect, like they're by themselves with a Dunkin' Donuts
or a cheats or a, wow, like they're rarely have,
you don't see them in a strip mall for, I guess,
for safety purposes, right?
That's really him, though.
They go up, they go up.
Yeah, you're not allowed.
I'll tell you what, that gas station is never getting robbed.
It's all so bad.
Sure, true.
But Kung Fu guys were around.
Yeah, building self-defense.
Coming over the roofs.
Sure.
Yeah.
I always do love when like the drunk guy or the tough guy probably crazy or something,
walking by the boxing gym or the fucking bridge.
Those are all set up.
No, no, there's this huge thing.
If you ever like hear guys talk about it.
But just some guy who thinks he's a tough guy.
Like drunk or on drugs or just fucking off, like, you know,
Kuku banana.
They usually get their e-shroom.
Oh, yeah, and they come and they're like,
you dig your tough and then they go,
I'm like, guys, I got a fucking up out of care, you know what I mean?
Yeah, it happens a lot, they say.
It's just something like weird.
Fucking lizard thing in their brain,
but they're like, you're not tougher than me
I got to show you who's tough. I think it fucking been up like a goddamn pretzzy
Get put in a very impretzy
All right, let's see here. We could do do a few more
This is from Dodge, but Ram Dodge Dodge Bunchroom. I don't even know what that means 10 dollar homie
Is it garbage to put hot coffee in your cereal?
What the fuck?
Who would do that?
This guy apparently, I could see it with like an oatmeal maybe?
A s-
What?
What do you mean?
An oatmeal.
Listen, we're living in a wacky world here.
I'm saying I can see it where...
I can't see it at all, no, but hence why I've never done it.
You dump a little coffee in your vanilla ice cream. That's nice. You do that with a
espresso. Wait, I'm saying I forgot. Is he saying in replace of the milk or add it with the milk?
And I only drink black coffee. So if this guy drinks like extra cream, extra sugar,
that could serve as a fucking hot cereal. With cocoa puffs that would work. That's what I'm saying.
I don't know.
I just don't like anything cinnamon that could work.
Corn pops, I could see that work.
Gotta stay away from like fruity pebbles or anything berry.
Sure, but cocoa pebbles.
Maybe that's where they really come alive.
Coco pebbles, cocoa puffs, those Reese's puffs would chain bad.
They were too sweet and they cut the roofier mouth like crazy
Get stuck in your teeth, too. Oh fucking impacted in the bag you an old-ish to sweet me
Puffs were great. All right, let's see this one's from Clapper the snapper
Did you ever sit in a lawn chair in front of a high collision intersection drink and watch the close calls?
Shit that's fucking that's like Joker level shit. You want to watch the world burn
That's wild
But a lot of times when people sit out in their front yard they're looking for a lot of action. Yeah, of course
Yeah, that's like if you're looking out the window of a hotel you want to see something bad bad. My uncle used to sit on a front porch, poppin beers, listen, it was a police scanner.
Yeah, waiting for action.
Yeah.
Waiting for action.
And then one day it did happen.
It was a bank robbery or something like that.
They cleared the streets.
Was wild.
Yeah.
Did you ever see?
I mean, it's been going around recently.
It was like the ring cam of the guy, the pizza delivery guy in Delco.
Oh, everybody was tired.
Yeah, probably like a month or so ago with the kick, with the kick dude.
It's a high speed chase.
Like a guy's dodging the cops in a residential neighborhood.
The pizza, you haven't seen this even.
Pizza guys walking up with the, like the food or whatever.
And the woman comes out as well.
And then this guy like hops up on the front yard of like across the street,
and he's like, yeah, what are you doing?
And he's like, don't hit my cord, dude.
So then like, he loops around, he gets out of the car
and he's running like now we'll crawl back across the screen.
And he fucking trips them, and he falls.
With a back kick.
With a back kick.
Sneaks him.
Guy flips falls on the ground, cops got him
and he goes, don't run from the cops dick head
All right, that's too. Yeah, babe that pizza place is fantastic. Oh, yeah, they're probably I mean, dude They're probably that's now that what if they I'm sure if Delco found out like the community found out
That's the delivery guy from that place. Yeah, dude. They Dude, they're probably flooded with orders right now.
They probably do.
They're probably constantly in the fucking weeds.
The change the name of the place that trippies.
Welcome to Trippies Pizza and mozzarella fries.
Yeah, you gotta go down trippies, bro.
Oh, damn, that's good.
We gotta wrap it up, gang.
Gang, I'm gonna tell you this right now.
We tell you on a time we love you to death.
Come see us out there on the road.
Get your tickets to the Vogel Theater August 11th
The second show that we added that's gonna sell out tickets are cooking grab them might be a couple and Cleveland and Columbus
Probably maybe well a handful were left. So that's probably sold out by this point. We'll be out of more dates
Check out our your garbage com. We love you. See you next week. Bye
We love you. See you next week.
Peace!