Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Bingo Night w/ Kippy & Foley
Episode Date: July 29, 2024Are You Garbage is back with Kippy and Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. Its a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live ...show! AYG Live Show Tickets: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Mint Mobile: https://www.MintMobile.com/GARBAGE Sheath: https://www.sheathunderwear.com/ Promo Code: Garbage Rocket Money: https://www.rocketmoney.com/garbage Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Well Hugo's question is, are you garbage if you shove your dad's coffin into a minivan because running a hearse is too expensive?
They said they needed a goddamn credit card!
Just put the flashers on, he'll be alright.
Gang AYG Live, AYG Live, AYG Live.
Grab the squad and come out and see the boys in Red Bank, New Jersey, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, and all along that Route 66 tour.
All tickets available at RUgarbage.com.
Kip, let's do Mint Mobile.
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Do it.
Yes.
Welcome to another exciting edition of R U Garbage,
the show where you find out if your favorite comedians
are classy individuals or absolute trash.
Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H Foley.
Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is are you garbage? Oh, yeah
It's that little show we sit there with your favorite comedians and we find that it's a good to be classy
Yeah, they're just a big old piece of trash trash trash. I'm your host H Foley coming at y'all on a beautiful day
We're out back here at Tooties in the new edition. She's upstairs. We're an ultimate warrior makeup
in the new edition. She's upstairs wearing Ultimate Warrior makeup. Okay. What the heck is she doing?
My co-host is coming at you from across the tables, what we call a family episode here at Tooties.
Just the boys, the bozos and the homies. He is the CEO of RU Garbage.
He is an international businessman and at night he cruises the city as the chicken parm hero.
Fighting crime. Give it up for KJ. Kevin James everybody what up gang thanks for tuning in as always please make sure
you review subscribe on iTunes full video available on YouTube as you know
those numbers are true to real cooking and then obviously my favorite website
of all time www.rugarbage.com no that's not patreon backslash
No hold on WWW dot patreon.com slash are you garbage you go over there you get all your bonus content needs
I'm talking bonus episodes a YG every week episodes of hard feelings all the bonus videos
We've done over the past handful of years. It's a good time gang. Yes, sir
And how about a nice shout out to our producer?
Extraordinaire the old magic man makes us all look good works the ones the twos the threes and the fours
He crosses the T's and he dots the eyes give it up for T bone McStuffins. Toby McMullen everybody. What up boys?
What up? Hey buddy. I'm loving life man middle of summer long days sunshine and nothing to complain about baby
I gotta be honest with you. I'm ready to get back out on the road. Yeah
Right now it's home life ain't all it's cracked up to be.
I'm a road dog, baby.
Put me in a minivan with the boys and let's go do a show.
We got a big one August 17th out there in Red Bank, which I'm excited for at the Count
Pacey Theater.
Yeah.
That's going to be fun.
Which is our third year.
I think we've done it the same week or close to the same day for the past three years.
The first year we started out.
That's when the Jersey tomatoes are in.
That's why we go over to the time of the year.
Just through the show to write off the tomatoes,
the tomato score.
We got, the first time we did it,
we did one, sold that out.
Then we did two in the smaller room, sold that out.
Now we're in the big boy, the Count Basie Theater.
So get your tickets for there.
If you've never been to a live show, it's a good time.
You've probably seen the clips, but it's a standup show.
We got Tom Cassidy, Toby McMullen, me, the big man.
We all do standup. And then me and the big man but it's a stand up show. We got Tom Cassidy, Toby McMullen, me, the big man. We all do stand up.
And then me and a big man answer your garbage questions live on stage.
Which is the funnest part. It's the best.
I like there's something about the questions the fucking homies have.
And like they've learned to make them so specific for the show
where you're just like, Jesus, half of you belong in jail.
They're good. They're good.
We got Route 66 in September and we're closing it out in Philly, which I'm excited about
I gotta get the hell out of the house man. The bird was the bird was away
Let dude left to my own devices. I would be I do I know I've been hit you with a cattle prod for the past
Four years to get you to come in here, which reminds me. I wanted to tell you something
Um, I was gonna say this for off the air, but but I'll let everybody know I don't like you
I was gonna say this for off the air, but I'll let everybody know. I don't like you
The next time you're ordering from your local delicatessen out there in Queens And you get it in your and you got a spot that makes a good BLT do a sausage patty instead
You'll thank me later
That's what you've come up with sausage. That's LT. I'm telling you the slut
Yeah, give me a slut.
Let me get a dirty bird and an Arizona ice tea. We have with the SLT. I'm telling you, dude. It's a good it's got to be the
patty though. I for breakfast or for lunch? Whatever. Okay.
Have you ever? Yeah, I don't think SLT plays both sides of
the ball. Yeah, you could do it. It could be a dinner if you
wanted it. Let me ask you this.
Would you have a BLT for breakfast?
Yes.
Yeah, then do it.
What are you busting my chops for?
Trying to help you out.
Trevor, do you ever order a sausage,
like a sausage and cheese somewhere,
and they hit you with the gulbas?
And you're like, dude, what the fuck?
This is odd dog.
It's too early to be eaten.
It's me, dude.
The sun just came out.
I got to get to work.
I'm all patty from here on out. Sa sun just came out. I gotta get to work. I'm all Patty from here on out.
Sausage Patty.
Big Patty man myself.
I got a little something I wanted to get into.
I went to a very, very,
I got a new establishment I'm in love with.
Really?
Uh-huh.
Nice little eyes out there in a dirty jurors
running some errands with the wife, you know?
Being Johnny Homemaker, the man that I am, you know,
yelling at her. You want to spend what?
Uh, and we're popping around.
I see this place and I have heard of it.
And, you know, I have a Jersey Mike's, no, Jimmy John's body.
I'm well acquainted with those with those with those dirtbags.
Did you stumble into a hardee's for the first time?
Seasons 52.
I'm telling you, man.
Wait, is this a steakhouse?
It's a wine bar and grill.
It's an American fresh grill and wine bar.
Because it might be the place that Louis Gomez was telling us about.
That's what piqued my interest a little bit.
Seasons 52. It's like, oh, man, it's alliqued my interest a little bit. Season 52.
It's like, oh man, it's all right.
Sounds like a retirement home.
For swingers.
Bunch of blue hairs in there, dude. We get the blue.
But we went in, it was kind of empty, kind of early.
Mall establishment.
Mall establishment. Like it's very cheesecake-esque.
You walk in, it's very corporate.
Like everything's designed well. You walk in lightings real low real dim feel like it's in a casino or something
Real number I got to surf and turf on it
Surf and turf on a Monday night to go and add it you open the menu and the first thing you get is all-day flatbreads
Of course
All day I did not breakfast flatbreads of course this is your favorite. I did not know that. All day?
I did not. Breakfast flatbread? I mean if you're a freak it doesn't make any sense. I did not know that
but it was a happy accident. You give me shit about the slut? It was it was a happy accident. I didn't go for breakfast
It was a goddamn suppertime.
First thing. I know.
And it's all apparently it's all health.
It's like portion control.
I'm just telling you they're they're they're thing.
You know what?
Flatbreads.
I didn't have a flat bread.
I played it.
I did the surf.
You really did?
Yeah.
Well, great.
Six ounce full.
It was like forty dollars.
Six ounces of chicken and tuna shrimp and chicken.
Forty five forty two bucks. What's the surf and tuna shrimp and chicken
45 42 bucks for what's the surf and turf steak and lobster flounder?
Flounder and hamburger
You gotta catch you pick it out of a tank I'll take that one he's looking at me weird
They have a place in the story that you can do that you pick pick it out. The flounder? No. The lobster.
Yeah.
I think that lobster.
You pick all your fish and you tell them and then the old lady
makes it.
Okay, that's pretty good.
Yeah, I can't think of what it's called.
Something seafood.
We got to hit one if we find them on the road.
It's a quality establishment.
So you're running errands, you and the broad pop in there?
It was a tough sell for her.
We were, you know, this was, this is like,
it's a very like Denise or Patty would go.
Picture you in there reading the paper,
picking your teeth or something.
No, he sat down, the waitress goes-
Marjorie in his half-off.
She, we sat down, she goes,
can I get a watermelon margarita started for you?
I said, what was that?
The hell did you say to me? That's how they do it. That's how they train you those corporate. I love the she has clothes
Assumed the clothes I'm off the sauce a little bit
So I didn't partake which dinner when you're not drinking socks. Well, let's go home
I'm gonna one of those hot fudge. Yeah, let's go home and get a pizza. What are we doing here?
Oh, it's work. I got it. We're just going to sit here and stare at each other.
Give me some some libations.
That's why what's nice is and you get a nice take in a nice taste.
Especially those places.
They'll have like a tropical ice tea.
Love an herbal ice tea.
You know what?
They almost feel like you're drinking a real nice D.C.
Yeah, dropped.
And he was she was Johnny on the spot with the refills.
See me get down to about a quarter.
Come over, drop another.
Everybody gives corporate restaurants a bad rap,
but I always say it, that that was the best training
I ever got of like how to, you know,
the steps of service and all that stuff.
Of course.
And that's the first thing they tell you.
They had that in the pre-shift meeting.
They were like, push the watermelon martinis.
That's the first thing you open up with.
Not how you are, folks, whatever.
Can I get you some water?
No, go for the booze.
Get these fish drinking.
Their dirt bags are here for a reason.
Yeah, no kidding.
Well, that was very, everybody.
They're drinking on a Sunday.
Everybody was kind to celebrate.
There was like a flock of all women
that looked my mom's age and had like a big corner booth
and it was probably like a retirement party
or like their annual get together. There was a big birthday and had like a big corner booth that it was probably like a retirement party or like
their annual get together. There was a big birthday party, not a
big birthday party, but like a group of seven or eight and
they were celebrating something. It's a good time.
That reminds me Patty has all of her birds from her water
aerobics. If they all go out together, they do like potlucks
at each other's houses. I have to go out. Probably imagine the
waiter waiting on blow my ladies with anything.
OK. Imagine if you walked in, it was Patty and her
Patty and the Dolphins. What's her name?
What's their gang name? The Mermaids. The Mermaids.
Is that really what it is?
Patty and the Mermaids. But it's owned by a little research on.
I was I was proper. Never been in one.
I've only seen one or two maybe.
Jimmy's looking to franchise.
They don't, they keep it tight.
Are you hiring?
It's by Darden.
You know Darden?
Oh, I know him, James Darden.
William Darden, AKA Bill.
They got Olive Garden, Longhorn Steakhouse, Cheddar Scratch Kitchen, which
I ain't never seen one of them.
The Yard House, know my way around one of them.
Know the Yard House.
Capital Grill.
Really?
This was like a-
Wait, it's not one guy,
it's not really a Bill Yardley or whatever.
Yeah, and he's sitting on a porch saying stuff like,
sir, don't move in this state without my say so.
Yeah.
You get an Appletini, I want my taste.
He takes the first sip of every, every fucking watermelon margarita that goes out the door
Those I got two words for you pineapple mojito. I made 1.5 million dollars on rolls last year
And you're gonna come in here and tell me honey butter ain't no good
They did have some wild butter on top of the steak that came out. It was rich. Did they hit you with a basket of bread?
No, I'm telling you, the portions is like only a couple of potato.
Everything's like under 600 calories.
I really think we should go back to that.
What? The basket of bread,
I guess, get a bread and even the those like flat crackers, whatever they are.
They don't get there for me.
That's I might as well be eating a fucking if the butter's good. I might as well be eating a coaster
What are we doing here? Give me the real thing?
I'm staring down an appetizer with a flat cracker that is uncle Hank all written all over it
Uh, what is it? Ah he tuna tartar a big fan
My wife had the corn soup came with a flat cracker. No kid. I did a crab cake to start. You did forgot about that
I did the crab cake this start. You did? I forgot about that. I did the crab cake to start.
What were you celebrating?
It was fucking Monday.
I was celebrating.
I didn't spend $1,100 in fucking Crate and Barrel.
That's what I was celebrating.
I got off cheap, dude.
You both had nigger hairs all messed up.
You two just went ten rounds.
Woo!
Good fight, huh?
I'll give you another shot at the bell.
You want to dance with the champ?
Play some close to late. You want to skip dessert and go back.
They also got what we went to Eddie V's.
Eddie V's?
Yeah, we went to Eddie V's in Austin. Remember we were day drinking? We ended up at Eddie
V's.
We were day drinking.
The steakhouse.
Oh yeah. Man, talk about drunk at a bar. Yikes.
Yeah, I was, I was full.
And they own Ruth Chris Steakhouse.
This guy's killing it.
That's what I'm saying.
They know the season's 52, four different menus a year,
changes with the seasons.
Do they?
You do the math.
Yeah.
Season's 52.
And it's like a new, they got new fresh stuff
every week or something like that.
Hence 52.
I was, listen gang, if you're out there
and you're a bit of a dirtbag like myself and
you're looking for a nice something.
I'm starting to get suspicious about this.
Who got a hold of you?
I open my shirt and it says this is 52.
I'm just saying check it out.
It's good.
All right.
That's all I'm saying.
Can I give a recommendation to the homies and bozos out there?
Of course. but all that aside
We got a gosh darn family episodes on our hand gang
As you know when you sign up for the patreon greatest website in the world and talk about you know
Numbers over there talk about moving some numbers that patreon. Look at hell of a squad over there. Yeah, we love you, baby
The this is as you know when you join the patreon we will answer your garbage question on air and that's what we came here to do
This one shit. I mean dude talk about we were talking about it the live shows of people just getting the show some people just get
The show this is from parking lot doughnuts hell of a name
Is it garbage if your dad owned a semi-legal bingo hall in his 30s?
Bonus he got raided by the SWAT team and the local sheriff got reelected because they put it on the front page of the paper
That guy that's how is it semi-legal hold it up to big go
What do you mean now? Hey, he said so I gotta go with the facts of the case
I always thought bingo was run by the church. I think if it's for fundraiser purposes, I think that's,
I think the old school version of that,
it's running a church, but-
T-bone, can you say what the legal,
I'm just probably a little different state to say,
but the legality is-
Is that paid out?
I used to go with my Aunt Mary Catherine all the time.
I know, but that's like a 50-50.
They don't, they're not, all the,
they're retaining some, I'm assuming.
Yeah, the house is taking money. But that's a church and they claim that as like,
I'm not sure they're supposed to claim that as a who knows what they're doing.
Yeah, I'm just talking about just saying they're supposed to claim that as like
we pay for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
Yeah, they they go, hey, we raised five hundred dollars.
We raised a thousand. We gave out five hundred.
This is the most crooked explanation I've ever heard from this guy's dad.
From dark parking lot donuts father James McMullen or whoever it is I ain't seen nothing all right check this out so the Pennsylvania bingo law
was passed in 1981 the law allows certain nonprofit associations known for
and then in quotations associations to conduct bingo for the purpose of raising funds for in
quotations, charitable and civic purposes. I respect that.
We're not fixing the roadways with that. So you can't run a
bingo. I guess it's gambling technically. It's gambling.
They want to wet their beak. Yeah, that would be fun. That
would be a fun time though. I used to love it. A bingo night as an adult?
I used to love it. Free beers or not free beers, but you know hanging out if you could catch eaters
Oh, we could find like a garage and do our own bingo night. This was always in the basement of a church
I think they moved it around. I think they keep the heat off them. Mm-hmm
Move it around from the address got texted out morning of
From parish to parish it was in the 80s
I feel like it would be like a Wednesday night and like it got to the point where like as
Like a seven eight ten year old kid. I wanted to go with her my parents were like alright
Like I had to go with her once or twice and you're pushing for it. Yeah
Smoking heaters they got hard candies going around Werther's all that kind of stuff root beer barrels
Yeah, I don't I don't remember being at one and I didn't I was always a priest that ran it though
He was eyes on a cane was up there ripping. Yeah
Ripping eaters drinking something out of his coffee cup. I
Think it was the priest who did you, did the service for my grandmother in Port
Richmond was he was sauced up at the I saw him taking nips at the at the cemetery and
then someone walked out at the cemetery. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's a little, you know, keep
the hands still. What do you mean? He was fucking getting sauced up at the cemetery.
He had a beard like he'd had a little a little flask.
Little flask.
It was cold day.
It was raining.
That ain't holy water.
It was a rainy April.
I don't know what to tell you.
And so my cousin walked up and greased them 100 hands for you.
That's when I realized, man, we are proper trash.
I don't feel like they do that anymore, but that's what it was.
My family does.
When I was a kid, that's what it was all about.
The altar boys, if it was a wedding or a funeral, we got greased as altar boys. I know the the
priest got hit with something. Then the parish got hit with something. And that's the way
it went. Everybody was getting greased. Not a lot of grease anymore. I, we grease. I greased heavy on the other night
when we went to the pizza place.
Yeah.
He really reveled in that.
I greased the Mater D and I greased the.
The Mater D is a strong word for the pizza place, but okay.
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All right, let's see here. This one's from from sideshow. Is it garbage if in your early 20s? Did you have friends in their 30s?
That's
There was always I I had a pretty I was that guy. I know I had a pretty good
I mean, I guess you were early 20s is different though. You guys are in your early 20s when you started comedy. I was 33
32 I started at probably mid
24 what do you know 30?
7 fixing to be 38 so we're 10 years apart so when I was 32 you were 22 at your early 20s
Yeah, but that's different cuz we were doing something. We were good luck. We weren't.
I don't know about that.
We weren't just hanging out in a garage.
You know what I mean? You didn't know I was 32.
I didn't for a very long time until Flip told me.
He's like, you know how old Foley was?
You bumped into you and Flip were walking down the street
and bumped into one of your buddies.
I was at my cardiologist's and Flip went Flip went, how do you know that guy? And you went, I graduated with him.
And Flip went, he was 50. Flip goes, do you know how old Foley is? I go, I don't know,
27? He goes, he's 36 or something like that. I was shocked. Foley was like at Donnie Brasco
when he starts hitting the guy
Used to look up to you really now
I did for about a week. Yeah
Until you started bumming heaters off me And I remember one time he asked for a ride home
And I said yeah, we're walking to my car and he started complaining about how far I had
parked from the bar and I was like who the fuck is this guy he goes oh man we're
really humping it huh it's like Jesus Christ got any cash on you shut up
looking back I should have ran later fucking smoking my things asking for a ride home that's out of the way and completely I could have ran later. Fucking smoking my things, asking for a ride home that's out
of the way and completely I could have walked at this point.
But I always say though that, you know, not to bring up the restaurants again, but that's
always such a great education because you do start hanging out with like older people.
Sure. At work's one thing, coworkers is whatever. But like when you start, there was guys floating
around when we were in our later teens, early 20s,
where you're like, that dude's gotta go.
What were they doing?
You know.
You had that, you grew up in that,
a lot of guys stayed around there.
Nobody really stayed around where I grew up.
You left though.
You went to New York, so it's different.
I went to college. Yeah, there's for sure people that just hung around.
And also like the more we would hang out at the local bars
like that, you know, you're hanging out with guys that are
still there.
Bunch of go-getters.
That are two or three years older than you.
They're friends with guys that are two or three older than
them.
And the next thing you know, hey, is it cool if Steve comes
over? Then you're just texting Steve.
God's chill. He can rent a car.
He's always the scary guy.
There's this guy.
Some guy that like beat you up in high school
would like want to be friends with you in your 20s.
Yeah. What the hell?
There was a guy. There was a guy that had a gun most times.
I was like, why is he here, dude?
What are we doing with him at this house party?
This is he should not
be here I mean all legal obviously but it's just like buddy we're playing beer
punk I don't need a fucking sig-9 in the building you know what I mean
fucking fall back where am I where my buddy's mom's sure house I know like
she's sleeping upstairs shotgungun beers the Glock
That was when there was interaction with your parents is when it was weird. Who is that?
Yeah, who's that guy was like do I know that's Ronnie we'd be like 17 and a full like a chain in a mustache
You're like
Yeah, I gotta go to work like what?
My wife's bitchin
Yeah, there was a lot of those guys where I look back I never I always my cool Dave comes over yeah
There was always my back was all my back always went up a lot
I didn't love hanging out with those dudes, but they were around our
hanging out with those dudes, but they were around our, like, just our house at Temple,
there was proper criminals coming through
when we were like having parties.
Like dudes who's like, I just got out.
And I'm like, you know.
So Kso dipping the fridge.
I know, he's like, he's like.
If he's talking to a guy with a mask and a bag
with a money sign on it.
Yeah, it's a cool way to hide out here for a little bit, dude.
Yeah, those dudes just. Yeah, you to get some boneless wings later or something? They just circle when you're just drinking and partying.
Those dudes, they appear and they hang for like months or weeks at a time. Dude, you
know where the ammonia is at? This blood will not come off. You guys got a burn pit or anything?
Yeah, then they would always just disappear.
Where do you guys burn your evidence?
Yeah, they go back to jail or something.
They would either go back to the can or they got it together.
There was one dude.
They took their welding test or something like that.
Yeah, he's doing all right.
There's one dude that me and Pat talk about still.
We're like, well, have you heard from me?
Because not in 15.
It's just one day, everyone's boys, This kid just falls off the face of the earth.
Gone. No numbers, no calls, no text.
Probably hit bingo.
Or got locked up in the clink for running a bad game.
All right. Let's see here.
Speak. All right.
Why were on that in the in the in the world of party?
And this is from Captain Cardboard.
You've ever you've ever watched a any intervention drunk with your homies
Talk about a tough hang that's
Any intervention is that was it when I hit that was of such an interesting show to walk cuz it was like real fucking
A&E used to be well respected television. Yeah
Respected that TLC was all good. Now. It's TLC was always kind of what I was the learning channel
That's literally what it's there was with like Kate and Steve
No, that's what pushed them in that's when they went was I don't remember the learning channel before that
I don't know before that, but it was like proper like nerd shit
What would they do how it's made was that TLC?
I want to say that was A&E or the History Channel.
Maybe. If you were trying to fall asleep, throw that on.
Remember my dad just watching, you know, how they make hangers.
Yeah, like packages being made. Here's how we make cardboard.
I used to love that. Corrugated cardboard.
I don't know if kids nowadays have that, but I was I loved documentaries
and like documentary style television when I was a kid.
We used to watch Wild Kingdom, all that all the wildlife stuff wildlife? Yeah
No, I didn't really love it. I love a doc now, but doc is a kid. Not really. I love the doc
That was like dad shit to me. Yeah. Yeah, great. Not for me though. Um, all right, let's see here
This one's from Foley's freezer ice bowl.
I don't know. Um, is it this is just rude.
Is it garbage to think twice about rolling your kid into temple?
Because that's where Kippy went.
If you want him hanging out with criminals, send him to temple.
Yeah. Send him to Edgeley Street.
How is temple these days?
I don't know. Can we get over?
Can you get a ranking on Temple University as it currently stands it ain't you know?
It's a working-class college. I'll give you that it's not you know I've never heard that before
I mean the guy who donated all the money to the business school recently got
He like built a new school building like business building, and then he got indicted or something all right
That's what white collar though. That's what we're looking for.
But it's like, that's where, you know,
I'd be curious about the graduation rate,
if I'm being honest.
I think the graduation, I think it's a bit-
62%.
Is that good?
I don't know.
It doesn't say good.
It's either fantastic or not.
It's a D, whatever it is.
I know that it's an 80% acceptance rate,
so this guy's kid's got a shot it's scared they scare a lot of people away
with their strict standards so they not even a lot of people apply it's also
they have like there's a there's a wing in China so there's like 37,000 there's
like 40,000 kids go to temple China really got numbees over there there you go some commie shit if you ask me. There's a football team over there.
Not too good.
Alright let's see here. It's 681 on the QS World University rankings.
I don't know. 681 ain't bad. It's not bad. I mean you gotta figure it out. What's number one?
Ah. Not Widener
Go pride
Is that where you were the pride? We were the pioneers when I was there and then they change
That's my pioneer I used to be I think was called Valley Forge military not Valley Forge military
I can't me Pennsylvania mill. It was a military Eastern State penitentiary. It was a military Academy before it was
military Eastern State Penitentiary was a military academy before it was
before it became wider university. And I'm because they had like old like catacombs and shit in there.
I used to scare walking around with your swords to death.
Number one is MIT.
Yeah, so I'm six hundred behind MIT.
That ain't bad. That's all right.
It's pretty good. Six hundred. Thank you.
All right. Out of six good. 600? Thank you. Huh, all right. Out of 603.
Send the kid there then.
Yeah, it's expensive I think though, from what it is.
23 racks.
Thanks, Nothin'.
21.
Nowadays?
A year or a semester, that's gotta be.
It says in-state, in-state.
In-state tuition is 21.
I don't know what they're banging out
if you're commuting.
It's bad out of state. It's less. What? Trying to get a little. I don't know what they're banging out if you're coming if you're bad out of state. It's less
What trying to register in Jersey? Oh, yeah, let's join up a little bit
All right, this one's from the Italian long hot hell of a name ever poop while wearing a tie then forget
It's still over your shoulder until hours later talk about jammed up
No, but I've walked out with
Yeah, I was getting my blood pressure done. Uh-huh. That's a tough look Talk about jammed up. No, but I've walked out with the... The sleeves? Oh yeah.
I think I was getting my blood pressure done.
Uh-huh, that's a tough look.
What were you doing in there?
Pooping in a suit's not great.
I was bowling.
Sorry about that, everybody.
I guess if you wear a suit all the time,
you're used to all the,
all the different flaps and stuff like that.
Every time I wear a suit, if I hit the poop, it It's like I'm nervous. I'm pooping on the jacket
Oh, I know that's like you're you're pooping like a Broadway costume. I need like
People to handle me. That's a whole thing. That's a lot tucking that shirt in and then trying to get the thing
Oh, man, I hate that but I wish I wore a suit well and could wear a suit.
Yeah.
If you're a thin in shape guy, they seem pretty comfortable.
There's also a pretty decent...
I'm not that body.
I'm probably about 20 pounds from that.
And I don't have that body.
But a guy who's a little bit overweight can look really good
in this suit because they fill it out, you know what I mean?
You mean like an H&M Euro cut suit?
Not even that, but just like sometimes a bigger guy looks better in a suit because there's
more covering it.
And the proportions, like when you pull on on it's like the jackets, the proportions
are bad, myself included.
Gotta get a custom fit it.
It reminds me, I got a wedding coming up. I gotta get something for
It's an August
It'll be done what by then I?
don't know
four or five pounds
Ben if you poop on your thigh or not suits too hot hmm yeah, it's not gonna be it's not gonna be a suit wedding
I don't think August wedding. I'm with suit. What are you not unless you're going to see your sucker?
Be a suit wedding. I don't think August wedding. I'm with suit. What are you not? Let's go and see your sucker
I think I could come real real old-timey. Oh, I look terrible. It's a little hat
I do declare
He's a fat ace am I right ladies?
Yeah, a little notepad you're right and stuff now the fettest ass at nine counties I might call the case of the missing double-legs
You know what have pretty good vibes the old man from Jurassic Park if I wore it out with the cane
That'd be pretty good. He was that was tropical. That was cool. I had that hat. Yeah, I have a walkie-talkie
He was wearing a guayabana. I'm calling Toby the canes got a mozzarella stick covered in amber
That's really good
Welcome to seasons 52
We've been able to architect flatbreads from the past
With watermelon martinis
Hello watermelon martinis.
Hello, watermelon martini. And a little things doing the presentation.
Yeah, I got you. It's a good movie. Check it out.
Oh, I this is from Ian Sleeper cell here.
You've ever seen your dad take medicine?
I don't think I have.
I remember him taking a leave.
Wait, you mean like straight, like met like real medicine. Yeah
Oh, yeah, my dad had a rack of pills. Yeah, take him every day heart this that when he was yeah
But not in you're not when you were yeah, I mean you're fucking 40 so you that was you know pushing 80
Thank you. Yeah, yeah, I got a problem up on the only I'm saying like as a dad like you were 12 and I'd my
Advil or tired a leave only thing I ever saw my dad take was a multivitamin every once in a great while
He'd get on a kick and he'd knock down like a centrum or something like centrums were bad
I remember my dad had the nice. I remember smelling him who was like smelling salts. Yes crazy
My dad had the nice, I remember smelling him. Whoo!
It was like smelling salts.
Yeah, it's crazy.
But he never took them.
Flintstones had that smell a little bit too.
That like, vitamin-y.
I kinda liked it.
Oh, Flintstones, I mean,
I think it's well documented how I feel
about the Flintstones.
Vity, get stuck in your cavity a little bit,
dig that out a few minutes later.
Uh-huh.
Get down.
Yeah, no, never.
My dad, the only medical thing I ever remember my dad happening
was he got his wisdom teeth taken out at a dentist
I ain't never seen before.
It was on street.
It was like out of a guy's house.
It was on street road across some of the old Kmart.
They had tasty cakes in the front.
And I remember being like, we had to stop in,
and he had to like run in for a consult or something
or drop off paperwork
I was like, oh it's happening tomorrow. I don't get adults getting their wisdom teeth taken out. I don't know anything
I don't I don't know, but I remember he had to have someone pick him up
So my stepmom picked we went back the next day and my stepmom picked him up because he wasn't allowed to drive
He's so fucked up. Yeah. No, we pulled out. He's like, all right, like they had to think he was like, I listen
I'm driving and then he drove us home. I didn't know
As you know as the only medical thing I've ever seen him to get his wisdom do you think nothing drivers?
That's so dangerous
Yeah, man
That's probably I mean he's you know yeah, hey it is what it is it was the fucks all right. It was the 90s dude
This is probably
90 it's probably 95 96
Drive driving. Oh, man. They're getting your wisdom teeth taken out, dude
Well like I remember him faking it
Because like they had to check to make sure you weren't drive like someone had to leave and stand on the porch and like
It was a it was like the front door of a house
This was a house so they like they like waved and then he like it from school or something
It's probably a drug deal or something now that I think about it hospitals are like that, too
We always used to be able to get away with that because when I am I colonoscopy like you gotta have somebody come and get
You but they had to like she they the sign in and come in and get me. Yeah
Right when I got my wisdom teeth out. I woke up hammered dude. Yeah
All right, I got my wisdom teeth out. I woke up hammered dude. Yeah
I started telling at the nurse you know I get jumpy sometimes you wake me up. Oh, yeah, I came up It's like waking up a rattlesnake at 12 CC's at Demerol than that
Is everything okay with the episode just freaks out about whatever you dreaming about
Man, yeah, you could try his annex dude try it to me
My dad had to wear a heart monitor for a minute when he was when he had the caffeine thing when he found out
He couldn't have caffeine anymore because he was having like panic attacks because of the caffeine
That was weird because that was like attached to him and it was like a little like box
I remember like seeing them sleeping with that
Somebody plugged this guy in
Seen something like that before was the dog collar that they had
We blow this guy's cartridge a little bit
little pep in his step I
Can delete the cookie?
This one's just funny this is is from Big Daddy Dare. You ever
jet-skied on your honeymoon? Which I think is the time you jet-ski. That's like the one
time you jet-ski. Sure. Because you're like, I would assume I didn't have a honeymoon.
But I would assume it would be very like, you're not you on the honey. Like that you
do all that stuff one time. Yeah. You know what know what I mean like oh, we're gonna do this. We're gonna do that. We're on the honeymoon, but it's like you know I
Wave wave runner jet-skied as a kid, but it scares me now no brakes
I'm just like I get hurt so easily. I just look at that. I'm like I would be fun, but then I'm like that's just I
See myself I I get hurt so easily. I was just look at that. I'm like, I would be fun. But then I'm like, that's just I see myself.
I would really not end well.
Yeah, I wouldn't be able to get back on it.
I watched my cousin who was out.
My cousin, who was a bigger guy, he was probably like 12.
And he was probably the same size as my uncle at the time.
And they fell off a wave runner at Lake Wall.
Paul Pax out at the Poconos.
Dude, we I mean, we watched them for 40 minutes minutes tried both try to get back on the same wave runner it was
One of the funniest that we all just sat on the set on the shore and left
I think they ended up walking it like pulling it swimming it back to the back to the shore
It was all right. Yeah
I don't have the upper body strength to get out like that anymore.
I could get on it and all that stuff, but I just got to take it easy.
I couldn't fall off of it.
I'd have to be real.
I'd be doing the hand signals and stuff like that.
Turn left.
Whoa, smoke in your lane out here.
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for info on Kraken's undertaking to register in Canada.
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What would it take for you to go parrots sailing?
Dad, my wife, we were just talking about this.
My wife did that somewhere somewhere and it seems boring. I agree. I think like the coolest thing would be getting
up there. Where are we doing it? Where would it be? Would it be in the ocean? Or a lake?
No, ocean. You have to go to the ocean. You have to get a lot of space. Yeah, the lake,
I seen them snap before and the dude just.
I think if you float away, you shouldn't die though.
No, you're chilling.
You're parachuting.
I don't think so.
What are you talking about?
Yeah, dude, people die.
If it breaks off and you go into land and it starts turning,
you don't know how to control that thing.
I mean, yeah, that's very fucking, you know.
Worst case scenario.
Yeah. What are we living in? I know. I mean yeah, that's very fucking you know worst-case scenario. Yeah, what do we live in it?
I know I'm just saying I think if you fell
You're probably break a leg or something the boats right there
70 fatalities over the last 30 years that's nothing
That's too many for me. What do you tell you driving you getting cars every day? Yeah way more dangerous
I'm not in a panel of a parachute on me you
might be my drag race I never got that plus there was that video of the girls
that they dropped them right in a bunch of sharks like a bunch of sharks did
they live I think so yeah who cares then that's a story I'll be making for hell
well good hell of a good art feelings I wouldn-uh, I wouldn't do it. I'm too heavy. I would do it if like, I have no desire to do it,
even when like I was more adventurous in doing,
like trying to do cool shit.
That always seemed very boring to me.
I did Space Mountain.
That's about it.
Yeah, so did the other girls.
What about the slingshot?
I did something very similar to that.
I did, it was what it used to be on...
Kamikaze shot?
A couple of fuzzy navels.
My buddy had some slinkies in his sling.
We got crazy.
No, it was like imagine a big like pole and there was like cages on each one of them and
that spins and then the cages spin as well. It was taller than the slingshot on the Wildwood Boardwalk. We did it because
it was and then it gets all the way up and stops and you're just up there swinging and
the people then get on the bottom and then like it does it and then you do it again.
That's a good time. Yeah. That was me and Pat did it. It was scary. Yeah, the slingshot's
real scary. No, I'm out. I'll'll watch I'll take a picture. I'll get some
Saltwater to have some curly fries. Yeah all today
Yeah, all that time too old for all that shit now. You gotta stop all that stuff at a certain point
Sure, I mean, I'm not itching to do it
Although I do love a nice video of a slingshot a guy and a girl the guy passes out
That's always fun and those broads you pass out. That's always fun. And those broads... You pass out. That's crazy.
You pass out.
That's what happens when you get in the back of a fighter jet.
You pass out.
That's fear though. That's not like G-Force.
I think it's a little bit of both.
That's anxiety.
I don't want to go to the boardwalk on a Friday night with a stomach full of cotton candy and then pass out.
No way you're closing after that.
Also, I don't know if you've seen those videos,
but sometimes those girls jugs are flipping.
I'm just saying they're also,
they also come up when you search those videos.
Oh, you like creepo?
Did you ever see the swing set that gets all haywire?
It's dude. I've seen all that shit.
Dude, it just drops. Bad news.
It's like all the way out and just drops.
And it's like. Can't trust any of that shit.
That's the tension everybody just perplunkplung that was a big one, too. Dude. I I
literally went to the Wywood boardwalk the rides are the same from
1995 the same some of them are the same and I was like you got to be fucking nuts to be doing that
They were unsafe then
let alone now
Soviet Union stuff
everywhere.
Covered over with a smiley face or whatever. That's a Soviet
tank.
Hey kid, you want to true knock the fuck out of here.
You just throw them darts at Mikhail Gorbachev there.
If you hit his birthmark, we'll give you a balloon.
All right, let's see here.
This one's from Terry 2000.
Does anyone else remember McDonald's sold bags of ice?
I don't think so.
I mean that couldn't have been a chain wide.
No, that's test market shit.
That's yeah, that had to be like you grew up
in Arizona or something, you know?
Bags of ice. I can't foresee.
I mean, I spent a lot of time in McDonald's
as a wee tight.
In bulk, I remember the orange drink.
They would sell that in bulk.
I don't even remember that.
You get that big.
It's not the same.
Used to be completely different.
Oh, we've talked about it.
It was so good. It was so good, but bags of ice that was like I
Remember that was beer distributor shit. We had to go to you had to go get a bag of ice sure that was it
What do you got t-bone you got anything they sell McDonald's sells bags ice now? Yeah, no fucking way
150 per bag that's cheap ish how big of a bag talking five-pound bag I don't know. I think they don't give a shit
think about they could take over the ice industry if they wanted to
sure they probably sell more ice than anyone
they're not even the top 10 of fast food franchises though you know that
10 pounds 10 pounds for a dollar 50 in
2022 still what's it two bucks now? No, that's wild
That's very cheap
McDonald's is where do they there's not selling 10 pound bags of ice. I can't believe I can't I just what I can't see
Why isn't that on the I can't see the lady in the second window Handing me a 10 pound bag of ice through the drive-thru
Very without dumping it in my car. He got a walk-in and get that you can't drive through 10 pound bag of ice
That's a lot of ice a lot of ice um
For a buck fifty that was always a mission that I like their ice or is it like bagged ice? It's bagged ice
It's not the crushed is the cubed
Yeah, but yeah, they have just cubed. Yeah, they have just cubed. Yeah crushed ice at McDonald's is it? I said this said that for some reason. What's up?
Can you get a I gotta I gotta get ice on this. I'm sorry
McDonald's bagged ice
It pops right up
It pops right up.
That's crazy. There are big 10 pound bags of ice for between 99 cents and $1.50 a bag. What?
That's insane. Here's why you should get ice at McDonald's.
Folks, start getting all your ice at McDonald's. Many people do
not know that you can grab a bag to go from your local Mickey
D's. There's a lot about McDonald's fish.
Here's how you can get ice at McDonald's.
What the fuck?
They also do root canals.
When you've got, that's my dad driving out.
When you got a big get together to prepare for you,
might need some fresh ice to cushion your beverages.
Running to the busy, hold on.
McDonald's offers cubed ice from between 99 cents
to $1.50 per bag and honestly, that's
his steal. Not all McDonald's will have it at an amazing price so keep that in mind when
you're ordering.
Got a sack of burgers too.
You can either go to the restaurant and order ice at the register or get it from the comfort
of your car to drive through.
There you go.
You need to, you may need to ask for a manager at the employees unsure of the process.
Man, if you're here to order an ice off menu.
Your head would explode.
If you were working at a McDonald's some asshole came in for a bag of ice.
What?
Oh, that's insane, dude.
That's cheap as shit.
It's crazy.
I think I just paid like five bucks for a five pound bag at a beer distributor.
Sure.
Or a liquor store down the shore sure
Wow, I was gonna say that's always a mission that you wanted to be on if your dad had to run out and get ice or
Something like that you wanted to be in the house a clean mission
Sure, you get to feel the freezer whatever open that that ice thing in the front
I don't know what was in there when I was a kid. Yeah, so I thought it was filled with ice cream to be honest with
Down the shorts I was a kid. They asked. So I thought it was filled with ice cream, to be honest with you. Down the shorts.
That was a big ritual.
CIO Ice, you know, CIO Ice.
Man, asshole.
They see I'll ice runs the ice game in the South Jersey Shore.
I think from Atlantic City down is their territory.
And I think it's tough to watch your step.
You. Yeah, I think it's tough to maneuver into that said field.
But growing up, my aunt had a house right around, you know, a couple of blocks away.
So that was always that was a coming of age.
That was always a threshold of when you had to go get the ice.
And you would you have to, you know, like the beach cruisers with the big things.
We would stack it on the handles and you had to learn how to drive with like
You know 40 pounds of ice on the handles man. I took a couple of dumps fucking bag ice rips
Oh, there's all gravel in it and shit. We're talking about ruining the luau
Yeah, that's it's used with gray water dude
All right. Let's see here.
Speaking of drive-thrus, this is from AYG Willikers.
Is it carvers who get all the way to work
and realize you forgot to get your food
from the drive-thru you just drove through
so you have to go back?
Then you gotta be drunk or fucking preoccupied.
So you ordered, you went and paid,
and then you just left.
That's insane to me, dude.
It's how they get you with the two window system.
No, I've never forgotten food at a drive through.
I pulled over and waited.
I'll wait.
I'll wait.
I'll pull over.
I'll wait.
I've been to a drive through the minutes.
That's an order so big they got to walk it out.
Sure. And you don't see that. So we're going to need an extra set of hands. I'll pull over. I'll wait. I've been to a drive through the minutes in order so big they got to walk it out sure
And you don't see so we're gonna need an extra set of hands
You don't see that that much anymore listen they weren't they weren't getting the manager to get you ice either, okay?
But that was a pretty common thing back in the day it pull out. You know wait. I'll wait
Sure, I got nothing but time, baby
One of them vanilla cones what?
Cool my tootsies while I'm waiting. The only drive-thru I'm ever in anymore,
the only time we really do fast food is if we're on the road or someone, you know,
or Uber eats or something like that.
The only time I'm driving through anymore is Starbucks, like in the burbs.
Which is nice.
It just doesn't feel, I feel pretentious ordering a coffee in the dry, I don't know.
That's nice.
That's not fast food either.
I don't know.
That's coffee?
I'm just saying that's the only time I use it anymore and it doesn't feel right.
Really?
No, it's too hoity-toity or something to me.
Let me get in there, order a black coffee, get the hell out of there.
Feels okay to me, baby.
Yeah, I don't know.
I guess I'm a boots on the ground plus in there
You got a year and you're gonna walk down and they yell your name not for me. If you know anything about me
I'm well versed in Starbucks etiquette
When you order just a black coffee, they give it to the cashier gives it to you
You don't get put in the system with the Bose. Is that true? Very true. Whoa, you order a hot coffee
They make it. Wow.
And they turn, no names given, no nothing. Now all you gotta do is be a psychopath and
order a hot coffee all year round like Kevin does. Hot coffee. Yes. You like a hot coffee
in the summer. It wakes me up. Listen. He's splashing in your face. Cold. Rubbing my eyes.
Cold brew. What are we doing here?
That's not nuts what cold brews one of the greatest inventions in the last ten years. That's not coffee for that
I like to throw I like the ritual of like the sip and it gets the brain
Perculating and I start that's that's the slow wake. I chug a fucking iced coffee
And next thing you know, I'm fucking standing on the GWB ready to jump that stuff. It's your quick
Last thing you scream before you jump
Yeah, I needed some more I need a little bit of you know I like the ritual behind
All right, I like cool down. You're like sweating on the inside. Yeah, it sucks in the summer though
Especially if you got to walk with it.
Who doggy?
I walk around with a bowl of soup.
And I got the dog in the bowl and the cup of coffee.
Well, that's a pretty good tip.
I put a homies out.
I don't know if you do milk and stuff.
I do black coffee, so if you do milk that shit thing, do they?
Yeah, you do it yourself, don't you?
I don't think anymore. Really?
No, they got the they got the the
dumpers. Not at the not at not a lot of New York City. Maybe
not in the city. Not in the city. Not at the not at mine in
the city. People start hitting it. Oh, you see guys in there
eating cereal. Yeah. Dude, I watched a guy walk in the other
day. Grab like six of them. Meat crackers, salami, like the
things from the. Okay. Just grab them, turn around, walk
out. He pulled his bat like he was carrying luggage
I don't think he was traveling but he was you know
He put his luggage out front like in a nice order walked in took about four mules worth of shit
Boop scooted right out no one even batted an eye you make a move. I ran and tackled them
I said hey buddy split it with me. What are you doing here? Let me get my hands on some of them crackers I
Just I remember I had said I had something I had a question for you guys hit me
All right this weekend did a little laundry did all of my sheets and for the first time that I can remember in my adult life
I washed my comforter. What was the last time you did that?
Ten hours ago, but that was a rare occasion
It's cuz I shit the bed.
But the bird keeps it on a pretty tight schedule.
Yeah, my wife, when I was living by myself,
I mean, I would have went.
Never.
I would have went years.
Never.
Without doing my sheets.
Comforter, never.
She got us on the duvet, so we'll do that.
When you were growing up, was your mama, my mom was a psycho about that.
That doesn't go in the, it can't go in the washing machine.
It's going to ruin it. It's going to explode.
It's going to burst into flames.
I was like conditioned never to do it.
It might have, though, because you might have had the, I assume
you had the like we did the shitty comforters.
Correct. With the stringy plastic inside. you can't put that in the dryer.
It would just melt. Yeah.
The dryer you couldn't do the washing.
Wash the hang dry.
Yeah, my family is also and still they're getting a little better,
but very big on not letting machines do the work, which I never liked.
You know what I mean?
Like just, you know, don't want don't work it too hard.
You know, like you got to watch it's going to break. Just't what don't work it too hard. You know like you got it's gonna break
Just yeah, I don't put that in there
I'm like you treat these goddamn machines better than with the better than us get a couple of rocks and what about a creek?
Yeah, all that's just like everything like oh don't run the fan to mother D. You bet something you had to like pace it out
I'm like it's a goddamn machine. It don't know what my air conditioner has been running for like a month straight blast every day
24-7 why is it over two years? Yeah, 24-7 just
things kicking
They know what they're doing I know I know
Proper maintenance that right there when you're 10 15 years. Mm-hmm. That's what I'll change in the filter either. That's a good thing. That's I just found that you're supposed to clean your dishwasher every once in a while There's a filter in there. I got a machine for that
There's a filter. I don't do it. There's a filter in there. I'll clean the lint trap in the dryer. That's it
Yeah, everything else you're on your own. I think I'm doing surgery when I do that feel real good about myself. I
Didn't realize that was a thing until college. Oh, no, we got hit with that
Why like my mom, you know, I told you,
we had to start doing our laundry at a young age
and that was the biggest thing.
That might as well have been a stick of dynamite.
I'm gonna tell my mom,
you did it, dude, all in, I mean, it was like, and you know.
That was part of the firefighter demonstration.
Sure. Where they do that,
they do the flaming can of oil
where they dump the water on it, big fireball, very sick. And then they let you use the thermal gun. You ever. They do that. They do the flaming can of oil where they dump the water on a big fireball
Very sick, and then they let you use the thermal gun you ever get to do that. No what the thermal gun?
Yeah, they'd have you crawl through a I'm sure a bunch of people out there did this they would like come to schools and camps
And stuff and they do a demonstration. They had like a they look up pop
They like half a house on a trailer. It was like a fake house. Were you in Terminator? What are you talking about?
house on a trailer. It was like a fake house. Were you in Terminator? What are you talking about, dude?
They had like a prop house and the whole thing was a simulated house fire. So they'd fill
it full of smoke and you'd walk, you'd crawl through the hallway and then they had like
a thermal imaging camera that they used to like look for people in smoke-filled rooms.
I'm not taking a math class or something.
Yeah, Jesus Christ.
What are you guys doing there?
And then you, this was like in elementary school.
I don't remember that.
We did stop, drop and roll, that was it.
Stop, drop and roll, yeah, like a gentleman, sure.
God damn American at the end of the day.
Well, North Carolina, a lot of
house fires, meth labs and such.
They're in there scaring the shit out of you at five years old.
I was probably eight or nine.
I remember when the D.A.R.E. dude showed up
and he had the catalog of drugs.
I don't think we ever had him. You know what I'm talking about? I remember when the dare dude showed up and he had the catalog of drugs
Do some shopping
Two of those three of those one of those four toes. Hey, you know what I'm talking about there feel good the book that opened up
That was 80 shit. I think they stopped
They stop giving kids roadmaps to good time. It was a case. Now I'm going to leave this here unattended for a couple hours.
I assumed they were.
I think it was like, you know, they put like plastic food in like the windows of stores.
Fell for that food, didn't you?
I don't think this guy was walking around with a key, a yak on him.
Police auxiliary car.
But it was a dare.
I don't know how to describe it.
I know what you mean.
Yeah.
Like fold it like a book, but it was like a case like a briefcase kind of like
You know the you know the Darth Vader?
Case nerd alert for to hit an act it would have the action figures in it
No, you don't remember that it was a shape at Darth Vader's head
You would open it up and be like or like something that would hold your matchboxes
Yes, yes, yes micro machine type type deal. So that with drugs.
All different kind of couple of joints, bagginess, baggadat.
Yeah.
And they would show you this is what it is.
And yeah, it was just like, all right.
And if your face don't go numb, your shit's stepped on, kid.
Yeah.
It's saying 20 a gram, I'll tell you that much.
He pulls out the switcher blade, kid, get over here.
Listen, if it charges you more than 15 eight they're getting ripped off
That swag
We had a did you guys have we had adopt a cop
We're like each school got a cop like an adorable baby cop
Yeah
And then they had bit they had they had trading cards And you know I tried to collect them all or whatever
The narc shit to me. I remember he just this guy thought he was so fucking cool, dude
He came in like he was Johnny big shot
I'm like you he's probably fucking 35 40 years old big fat piece of shit to fucking came in sweaty all red face
also
Fucking collar too tight neck fat hanging over alright
haha the goddamn guy alone I was also fat at the time but I knew not to dress
like a goddamn stormtrooper he's about to invade Poland buddy we're in an
elementary school kept it from the the poor thanks
We're in an elementary school. Kept it from the park.
Thanks.
Coming to work every day looking like
you're about to invade Poland.
You got a suit and tie, you know.
It's all right.
But yeah, I remember this guy,
this guy thought he was so cool.
I was like, buddy, get out of here.
Let me catch my heaters.
You got my rookie card.
Oh God, all right, let's see here. We got time for a couple of more there, gang.
This one's from Trash Can Terry.
Just witnessed my girlfriend take the last pill in her pill bottle, then pour water in the bottle itself to wash it down.
Is this garbage or just a vibe?
That's crazy
just in case there's anything that's that's that's that's drug-seeking
behavior I do that with cough medicine it's like the same thing with spaghetti
sauce well cough medicine you gotta wash it out you get yeah no for sure yeah you
know a little grease little tax that no for sure. You got a little grease, little tacks.
That would catch up.
But I mean the pill bottle is...
They usually have that thing in there.
Remember looking at that thing?
Not the packet, but the one that's
like a cylinder to keep it fresh?
No.
You've never seen that in a pill bottle?
The cylinder?
At the bottom of the pill bottle, big guy. Sorry.
We had different early 20s, alright?
I've lived in one for a couple years.
Sure.
In a pill bottle, you know they have the Keep It Dry pack?
You know the Keep It Dry pack?
Like the Chicklets?
Nah, I like my shit wet, bro.
What?
This is your first day on earth?
You don't know what I'm talking about?
Haley Blurr.
What?
The packet.
Yeah. In pills. That's not a pill
It's the key like are you talking like a prescription pill? Yes, they put packets in oh, I'm sorry like Tylenol
Yeah, okay. She's talking about a prescription pill. I think hey tough guy
Why don't you relax with your fucking Advil containers all right?
We're talking about two different things this guy can't say the thought of someone taking pills without them. I know
Talk about fucking FOMO. I usually raw dog them to be honest with you my pills in the morning. I just take without water
I bet you chew them, too
Yeah, I just take I just take them raw usually cuz I can you gotta look around find water if I knew that I mean
You're not in the goddamn Sahara. You're in your you're in your apartment in a rush. Just grab it get to the couch
Gilligan's islands about the bag ice on the way
Shit
All right, this one's from
Ethan Thomas have you ever asked for a restaurant to change the channel like a chilies or Applebee? Yes, you're looking for a game
restaurant to change the channel like a Chili's or Applebee's. Yeah, if you're looking for a game, respectfully,
Dickhead in Vegas that wouldn't do that.
We asked to put on.
Were we at Skankfest?
Yeah, we were in the hotel and the right at that steakhouse.
Yeah, and I ended up throwing out a pretty decent steak.
No, it was the Phillies game or it was an Eagles game. It was a Phillies game
It was the Phillies were playing San Diego
For the and they had like a hundred and fifty TVs. It was like a sports ball that guy was just being a dick
He's like not Saturday mornings. It's all college football. Then the next guy came in was again. No problem
Yeah, like ten minutes later. He had a sitting in the corner like a jerk off
It was all it was only got black and white and closed circuit television TV
Yeah, if you're nice about that stuff you got yeah, what the fuck?
Cuz the bartender forgets sometimes you know you're watching like fucking volleyball or something like that like yo
Plus I got 55 remotes back there. They don't know what's going on. Yeah, it's a pain in the ass
Yeah, no one ever understands that I gotta wait till Jay Jay I gotta get like the boss of the cook or something
You know what I mean any hot girl bartender doesn't really know she don't know she don't care
Oh, they gotta get this you gotta get this short order. Okay, that's lock. Sorry. Yeah, I don't know
Yeah, you have to wait till the manager comes in next week if you want to watch
Thanks, I'll come back and watch a replay of the game toots
Thanks. I'll come back and watch a replay of the game toots.
This is from Isaac. Is it garbage you use bedding that you stole from a hotel? My wife of you has used a hotel pillow case on her pillow for about four years now.
That's garbage in itself.
Four years for a pillowcase. It's way too long.
Crazy. I know.
I do a lot of face on that.
I just noticed because I had to do laundry.
I have a good amount of hotel towels in my
Repertoire why are you taking them? I don't know for different reasons. You know, they're like they're like little gym towels
They're nice. Oh, I think about how much the little white bangers splooges on that either. I got there's a lot
I got it from the pool a little I got it from the pool and wrap my my bathing suit in it to take with me
I dad got him
Don't worry about how I got them. I don't I mean you can't wash them. I've washed them
Yeah, I like to feel of them. Yeah, you can go hard you can order that. Yeah, that's the semen, dude
I don't know what to tell you that's what I like. I don't talk about ruining a washing machine. That'll jam you up
But we gotta wrap it up gang what a fun one. Yes, gang
We love you to death grab tickets to the live shows come out and see us and we'll see you next week. Peace