Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Brendan Sagalow: Long Island Trash

Episode Date: June 8, 2020

Comedian and podcaster Brendan Sagalow joins us and....Oh my god is traaaaash. We talk his crazy family, his teenage band, having every meal delivered, and having parents with a little bit of caaassshhh.  PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/foleygrams/ Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Forman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?

Welcome to another exciting edition of are you garbage the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash now here are your hosts Kevin Ryan and H Foley hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast this is are you garbage it's the show where we sit down with your favorite comedians and find that if they grew up classy or if as the Italians say they are got a badge y'all I'm your host H Foley coming at you on a beautiful night here in the story of Queens the world's burrow ladies and gentlemen you can smell the revolution in

the air my co-hosts back in New York City came right back in the nick of time to save us all our good pal Kevin James Ryan everybody hey gang had to vacate the belt of king of the boardwalk and I am back to claim the big apple baby at least for the next 48 hours a couple of tax purposes I had to get back to take care of you know what I mean pick up the mail make a phone call grab a shower or out the door keep up appearances you know what what the neighbors know I'm still around I don't know who still runs the block yeah happy to be here guys thanks so much for listening if you haven't already please rate review

subscribe on iTunes also as you know the full video is available on YouTube make sure you subscribe and check that out thank you hmm very nice and as you folks know that patreon is up and around and we highly recommend everybody getting on the old patreon train here at are you garbage and everybody that has signed up we appreciate it that's why we're gonna kick this episode off right now with some of the subscriber questions that we have in the vault Kevin Ryan let's rock and roll what do you guys first of all thanks so much the fucking patreon we just launched this week and it's fucking cooking we're our first goal was a

hundred patrons we wanted to reach we're already fucking halfway there so if you haven't already joined at a hunt once we get a hundred patrons I will go to all these fucking parents awesome we're gonna do it garbage style MTV cribs and fucking see what kind of filthy really did come from we'll get some eyes on the pool get a man on the street down there bluebell we're gonna put out the good paper plates when you come the wax covered ones my get that car off the lawn kippies coming my brush your hair the old bag we got company guys but as you know so once you do because we get so many submissions of people sending us

questions we can't get to all of them so what we're doing is if you join the patreon we will read yours on an episode so that's what we're doing now we're gonna knock out a couple each time as they come in so that is what we are doing here alright first one comes from our boy Todd Stout thank you buddy did a parent ever siphon gas out of another family member's car and I got to be honest yeah without their no without their knowledge no but he says bonus points if you smoke to see while doing it and if it was a step kids car I don't I don't ever remember my father turning the car off or putting out a cigarette

anytime we went to a gas station oh never I didn't know your dad used to catch burnies yeah he said Marlboro Reds who are you talking about kid me got that out with Charlie he was huffing reds baby doing it right the right day right wrote he wrote a fucking cow a horseback traded in all his Marlboro miles they get off but they get a fucking thoroughbred it took that home from Vietnam I for sure have you my stepdad for sure siphon gas out of my cousin's car it was the 90s so I'm sure there was Winston's either door ring or if not right before and door right after and I didn't know what he was doing he was

trying to get the car started I look over at one point he's like he's got he's part of the car at one point he's got two hoses coming he's spitting and suck it was like a goddamn orgy under the hood have you ever done that have you ever siphon where it got into your mouth a little bit and you have to spit the gas out siphon what do I fucking look siphon I'm a fucking white collar guy so you think I'm siphon in my own gas dude I don't even know how to change my oil what are you talking about siphon and gas what dude have you ever met I don't I don't I only go to full service gas pumps but you're telling me you don't

know the taste of gasoline and you know I know the smell you still put a cup a couple of drops on my buds to keep them roasted no I think get the high octane stuff my parents tell tell a famous story real quick about our first dog Mike which dude was your uncle guys clean up uncle Mike's coming over I don't know why they named the Mike German Shepherd your parents are fucking hillbillies that's why they claim they've named them Mike and I probably claimed them on the taxes Mike Foley a killer attack dog but in the late 70s we had it we had we had to get out of here you just yelling at everybody from

the front porch in the 70s they had a recession right so late 70s my dad was when my dad was still a teamster he was still driving driving a truck so he you know he'd be gone overnight and some some poor bastard was trying to siphon gas out of my mom's car out in the front of our house fucking German Shepherd jumps right through the play glass window on the front chase that dude down the fucking street my mom had a fucking wake up run after him get the neighbors they caught him but that dude ain't walking right I'll tell you that right now they're ain't happy Mike had a bowl full of some guys nuts that night all

right this one comes from dead I Dave and I know Foley used to get a bit weird back in the day so who knows where this dead I Dave have you ever stayed at a sex themed hotel now yeah too fancy for you you couldn't get the scratch together to get the $200 deposit fee I've stayed at a regular hotel and sexed up myself whacked off at every square square inch of that motel six room is jerking off in a garage camp because what the fuck's a sex thing like you like in the Poconos like I've done shows at them where I've had to stay I actually refused to say because you walk in and it that place is sticky icky icky dude

that's a fucking dude I thought I thought it's coronavirus that's where coronavirus started dude I was afraid to touch a doorknob I was afraid to touch anything the condom on all the time but also if you're going to a sec dude and I know because I performed one at one it's fucking like they have the heart shaped tubs the fucking big martini glass that with you know hot tubs all that fucking wacky weird shit and it's like if you're going to one of those you are fucking trash and I knew it was gonna be trashy because they told me in the email I can't wear jeans or shoes I have to wear like I guess and they're

on like slacks and fucking a pair of dress shoes if you call it slacks you're trash trash my dad knows to chinos are she knows is trash my dad was a big slacks and dungarees guy that's a nice pair of dungarees you got there and he's to call women handsome some woman right there that's fucking garbage so man that and sharp sharp was a big one whoa that jacket sharp he's sharp you're fucking weird dude clean living but I'm looking at these people and they show up in like basketball shorts and like cut-off t-shirts and I'm like I gotta get away to fuck yeah I'm like I can't trust up these fucking hillbillies who

paid to come to a sex hotel I've always wanted when I was younger and would have fantasies alone in my room at night I always wanted to go to like hedonism or something like that the ripping in the terror and baby the ripping and the terror dare see that video Google it weird okay this one's fucking super funny this is from Bob Haffner how many cousins named that named Heather do you have dude that's a fucking home fucking rock Heather is a garbage fucking name dude I don't have any but that's fucking a whole layer there should be at least seven in

my family I was in love with I was in love I was in love he's in love with the word love here in fucking elementary school with a girl named Heather Heather where she end up stripping she a dancer now where she end up no where's ville PA hey we're gonna mount Sinai I'll take it at if she is she's got the room Heather wow no heathers Heather's a track is a tough name yeah heathers are really Heather it's a hot it's a hot girl's name Heather yeah Heather's a hot girl's name from the wrong side of the tracks though yes yeah wrong side of touch yeah fucking do all the damn man I Heather Heather baby sat yeah you know

Heather baby sat yeah her boyfriend came over and fucking piped her the second you fell asleep watching fucking duke's a hazard sounds oddly specific but sure thanks a lot Derek my mom never got that out of the couch either that was my favorite recliner you know what else is real trash lazy boy to we had a lazy boy growing up that was you thought you made it if you got a lazy boy you know my pop has like a mechanical chair it's a lazy boy but it lifts them up because of the Parkinson's it lifts them it lifts them up and out of the chair it's like a forklift it's like a forklift recliner and it's it's got a massage it's got heat

I tell you what go go gadget goober over there that thing for a test drive when I was home with that question this is a real this will determine if you're how garbage you are hang on that Heather one man who was that again Heather's a fucking home run Bob Haffner oh Bobby that was beautiful your dad's Parkinson's chair is it least their own that chair are you making payments on said chair or more easy payments it'll be excuse me now it's it's paid for it's prescription I think it was a grand though it's a jihad whoo it's more than the car half the house got insurance on it too I just is from Juan Smith shout out the

Wani Wani Wani has a family member ever has all Jesus has a family ever been a salted by their spouse at a family reunion maybe over a card game game a crazy eights went south huh go fish you stupid bitch what the fuck over maybe over wait who's playing cards what's going on sing sing where you at who's playing cards I don't know gathering well we would so my family's big Irish fucking knuckleheads you know big boozers and you know no one ever really dealt with any emotions let's call it hmm so we've been playing like board games you know what I mean like down the shore and whatever you know I'll get out

fucking you know yeah whatever the Ouija board and see if we can talk to Uncle Ned fine fine they were grandpa buried the buried his hooch so we and there's been fistfights like we've there's been board games that turn into fistfights we're part cheesy now but between causes there's like apples to apples was one of them you know all that apples to apples what the boards and ladders what do you have no fucking morons I don't know play monopoly like a fucking gentleman will you buy some property start leasing the thing get your hands on a railroad or something like you get your hands on a Parkinson's

chair who's gonna get that thing when he croaks that's the piece I think I think uses a monopoly he's he's been around on the chair oh my god this guy's cleaning up that thing's gonna end up on craigslist hold on side note you know I'm gonna talk about a whole bunch of personal like you know whatever but my parents were down at their shore house shout out that was wow what they were getting new couches delivered so they were like you gotta gotta get rid of the old couches you can get whatever the top garbage I currently and whatever you get for me yours you just

need them you keep the cash just move the units you know what I mean you move them whoa put them on craigslist for 250 wow settled for two got 150 I got the imboozled by this girl named Gina and Kate May County I didn't see her coming she's a shark fucking chicks down here for senior week took me for a ride oh yeah I mean dude I'm talking about an all-time low in your life you're selling your parents use furniture to other losers on craigslist can you do 225 I'm like oh my god oh shit alright I'm gonna let's do one more and then we'll wrap it up and get into the episode very nice this was a two-parter well just we'll just do one

have you ever thrown gas on a fire who's this from oh I'm sorry this is from Zach Zach thank you Zach yes I have I'm like a fucking congressman I'm sorry who would you think covered the mic thank you very thank you very much for your great question mr. mr. Smith yes I have a used letter fluid to start a barbecue yeah it's the coolest thing ever throwing gas on a on a on a fires pretty cool pretty pretty dangerous too yeah man that doesn't go out easily yeah you get your hands on some fucking you get your hands on some gas from like a buddy's you know fucking mower or something take that through and down to

the woods we put it in a squirt bottle and we didn't realize and we were squirting it from the squirt bottle onto the fire that we started right the stream catches right the thing catches to the bottom of the tip of the bottles on fire we got a flamethrower and we're fucking it's like fucking running man down there to come to a fucking torch and everything it was fucking icy that's a real garbage questions act by the way that that's where your head would go is there a second part to that no he submitted two questions but all right there's one more is having this is from Ryan Doe shout out to Ryan is having

three gas containers garbage in the garage if you're it depends is what does one have the mix in it if you got the you got some more stroke mix yeah it's obviously fine but that's only leaves then too why do you need if you need if you need three cans of gas and you're not working at a mower shop or something there's something up something's ain't ain't right I've never needed one other than to fill up the weed whacker or whatever you know I would say you stroke bad news if you got multiple gas cans yeah they're both half filled one's got a little water in it so you can't use it that's a real trash

yeah don't use the big one don't use the big one a water in it whoa that is some garbage questions gang the old patreon I love it that's fucking awesome yeah questions if you haven't already please sign up we're doing a lot of cool shit over there we're doing weekly bonus episodes of are you garbage we have weekly episodes of me and Foley's other podcast that we used to do on hard feelings and plus we're doing live streams and stuff like that so go to www.patreon.com slash are you garbage the link will be in the description of this check it the fuck out we're cooking baby that's right now it's time for the

episode let's fucking go again we are so excited to have our very very very special guests here with us today this young man performs all over New York City all over the country he's been a writer for joking off and the roast of Rob Lowe ladies and gentlemen Brendan Sagallo what are you shaking your head at huh you read my bio yeah I had to read your bio it was only two sentences oh god I gotta get rid of that Rob Lowe thing because here's the thing about that I contributed a joke to someone who was writing for it and when I wrote that bio you know how you just lie I gotta fucking I gotta take that off so I

was this generation's rich boss you owe money to a guy named Oscar maybe thanks for doing the show buddy yeah buddy thanks for coming on man we you know this was just a segment on your other podcast yeah yeah this was you know it's not we started playing it a few years ago just on on Center City comedy and then you know now look at us now but you've been you've been requested quite a quite a good amount mm-hmm well a lot of people know how fucking a lot of people know how trash I am and how garbage I am yeah I think that's kind of the that's the thing with this episode for the listener out there we know I mean talk about an

easy win I mean sometimes you sometimes you need to give me but you know what I mean this whole episode is just redundant this is this is every fight that Rocky had right before clubber Lang these are these are the setups right here it's a tune-up match no and I'm being serious I want you to be as open and honest because I know your garbage okay but I have this vision in my head of what I think you grew up like and what you did and I really want to know if what what my fantasy meets the actual the actual trip aren't you two kind of the same age to Kevin I'm a I'm a I'm older than I'm I'm 33 year what I just turned

29 okay yeah so we're definitely the same world and we yeah we we were we're almost very very person no I was the same person do like the skateboarding the in the bands the cons it's the fuck dude we were but sometimes when it's just in the green room we're like the suburban mischief and shit oh yeah just wearing like at these sneakers and go to the mall and running away from security guards listen in the yellow card or whatever the fuck I can smell the sleepover sweat on you that's why that's what I want to hear about tell us a little bit about about exactly where you grew up and how you grew up I grew up

in a little place called Psyosic have you heard of it okay alumni in town called garbage everybody it's actually not a bad town like it's very it's actually very wealth it's wealthy and then there's like upper middle class and then that's pretty much it like then there was a trailer park that nobody went to dude that's always we have we have a joke on here of like if you're in a trailer park in the sub like in like a regular area that's a trailer park you're the only trailer park that's it if you're in a neighborhood where there's a bunch of trailer parks that's fine but when you're the only one that's the wrong side of

the trailer park was right next to the Ralph's Italian ices so you'd see it every time you got Ralph's it was the best that's a tough look did you're writing out anybody in there no there was one kid his name was Moses he was the only black kid he was a year older than me and he he lived there but I never I never talked to him I never any like you know not done there was one black kid in your town that was it there's one black kid there was there was him and then this guy Kamacho I don't remember joking there was others but you know it's it was what are you trying to get me I'm starting to sweat here what are you trying to

me to say here man I'm trying to paint a picture of how garbage your town is it it wasn't it's garbage in a sense where there was a lot of like emo kids and got kids what your parents do my my both my parents were my my parents are lawyers but my mom retired at like at like 40 why you stopped working and my dad worked for AIG until the big you know the recession of 2008 and so he quit but he said he quit because they're criminals but I think he quit because they weren't promoting him after a couple of conversations with him he like he was like he was kind of like I stood up for what was right for this country and

then and then after talking to him for a lot of bonus check bounce wait a minute hold on why did your mother retire because because we we had the money before the recession we had the money for her to retire and just watch me and my sister and then and then the recession hit and then my mom should have went back to a job but she never got a job till like five years ago as a lawyer she's a lawyer now yeah but like for you know razor some fucking firm or something something real long island trash she's her own she's her own lawyer in a slip-and-fall case on the LIRR that bathroom floor was wet I tell you

just like this courtroom's floor you all saw that he pushed me she comes into it with one of those cones on yeah but it is a dog cone you couldn't afford the real cone so no the difference that's on paper that's pretty classy your father was an attorney for AIG white collar that's good he's an educated man yeah he went to Georgetown University mm-hmm I'm pretty sure and then law school is a pointed in you well there was at one point a couple years ago he was like he was saying how proud of me he was and then he went there was a couple years where we thought you were gone he said that we were worried about you kiddo now my now yeah

I just picture him at like fucking Christmas he's got his arm around he's like my boy writes for the roast of Rob Lowe but he contributed to some guy who was writing you guys ever see St. Elmo's fire get over here Brendan yeah so he's a pretty educated guy but he's a piece of shit too so like my family is like they're trash but they're like hidden trash you know what I mean your your middle-class suburban trash yeah basically and that that's that's I love that because yeah it was like a great upbringing and it was like fun but you kind of knew in the back of your head that you were that you were garbage well

you don't even know until you leave you know that's the thing when you experience people that aren't garbage you're like yeah hey what the fuck you're like that that's what this whole podcast doesn't be like holy shit like what are these green things they're peas oh my god wait till mama he's about this I didn't even realize I was garbage until I talked to guys like you who were like really yeah you're like like you're like oh you must have loved Monster Energy yeah what's wrong with that oh yeah yeah yeah dude I do the do what's up we had those like plastic black skateboard ramps you know what I'm talking about yeah the

launch ramps the plastic all the time but they were so bad because they were so light you had to put like rocks on them or something so you'd be going down a hill to like go off of them and the ramp it was pushed back instead of actually going on them and then you'd fucking just you'd fall every time mm-hmm all right let's get into some questions here didn't really quite paint the picture of growing up but we're gonna get into it you guys more questions did you have any brothers and sisters I had an older sister I have much older three years why you making that face because I said I had an older yeah which could mean she

died in a launch ramp accident in the cul-de-sac she she's my mom so if she don't talk to me no more you know what was real trash which we did a lot because they were building houses like in my area all the time with steel wood for the construction site sure build a ramp with that wood like you're walking on street with like a big piece of plywood yeah taking it to the kid's house who has hammer and nails and fucking go to town yeah yeah my mom once my when my first dog died she she told me I can make a half pipe in my backyard oh did you have the half with stolen wood yeah yeah no you gotta steal the wood though I'm

stealing the wood for you rusty wasn't even a full-sized dog he was a pocket dog they're all different types and sizes of wood like two by fours and then thick that was we had any there was always one kid in every town whose parents would let them buy or let them build a fucking half pipe in the backyard and I remember as this kid Brett I'm like his parents must be insane like this is crazy my mom you're not even going over there dude I had a my friend Evan my like first friend ever who lived around the block for me he had a half pipe in his backyard we would jump off of his roof into the pool and stuff

and we he also had a he had a half pipe in his basement so it was like he built one in his basement you just go down as this little fight it was so cool dude you're eating over his house I did eat at his house and it was a different experience wasn't it like a regular I go eat at most houses yeah they didn't even invite me I was just eating in the corner no but like that kind of kid there was a there's always something wrong with the family a little bit they would their parents were a little off or something it wasn't it was a traditional household his dad was like a drunk and his mom and his sister like divorced the

family like his mom and his sister moved away and left him his older brother and his his dad because they all went to rehab together I guess Jesus Christ yeah and his dad's name was Steve and he who actually just asked my mom for money a couple of months ago they haven't been talking and he just fucking he like all of them are doing except for that kid Evan like his dad Steve asked for money his older brother Ryan showed up to my house and like asked was like banging on the door and my mom called the police she like didn't answer the door Jesus Christ like one in the morning anyway that was like my best friend growing up sounds

like a real straight shooter the dad asking for money out did she give the dad the money she didn't give him money no what was the sum of money do you remember I could I don't know I got to ask her about it but it it felt like it was something like 75 bucks it could have been $75 it could have been 2000 2000s respectable hey I mean you got here yeah it means you're end up but you're not just like nickel and diamond somebody yeah there's no one's like yo I need I need 68 bucks and you're like 68 bucks get out of here have some fucking respect and ask for a g-hod you know what I mean yeah she's asking for

gas money from my mom all right let's get into it here are you garbage our good pal mr. Brendan Sagallo Brendan we're gonna ask you a series of questions to find out how much garbage you are so far in fact Long Island trees yes so far real real sketchy all right first of all Ralph's Italian ice is fucking I got a badge yeah dude yeah I feel like it's just somebody to steal and slurpees and just make it a little bit colder rainbow ice was just three different colored ice that they put together all right let's kick it off I want to do a couple of the basics with with sex just cuz I'm curious growing up you live in a

single-family home correct yes for I mean my my parents my parents separated when I was like this answers already dicey my god I think I'm back together separated when I was like 12 but my dad lived there till I was like 18 wait so they are they married still now they're divorced now they took them till I was 25 to get divorced and then my dad the next day married his girlfriend Jesus Christ he's of our lives garbage in my room and then I would where would you sleep with your mom yeah I'd sleep with my mom everybody else was early Evans old man was cuz he knew would have come for money I think I haven't told family

was trying to get a taste I would sleep in the den and then eventually my dad if you call it a den that's trash you have a day fully it's living room family room not a den and then sounds underground the Flintstones at a dead like hyenas if you're hanging out at a dead you're definitely smoking cigs inside fucking the fantastic cigarettes inside yeah in the dead dude cuz the dead news the dead that's really that they come that's really got Gaddafi in it in a dead and then has like an open pit fire with like laundry in it there's boiling what did you what did you call them called it the living room living in the dining

room the kitchen we got a California split levels all these houses underground at three different points you get it on the roof you go underground you come back up every it's like that's so funny you guys are like gophers it's like the Alamo they're prairie dogged it all over the house yeah if you looked at from a from a side view of Foley's house it's just a series of tunnels if you get the cross-section it's like an ant farm they're all barred in there they might they might have called it a den I'm not sure it was the definitely the basin we called the basement well that's one of those things that I didn't even know was

trashy until this conversation right now I know yeah yeah yeah what else so you had it what'd you call the rooms like the common rooms the dead wait hold on hold on hold on I cannot move forward with this your parents separated when you were 12 they come down they sit you and your sister down they say hey we're getting separated but we're gonna live in the same house no Brendan you got to give up your room and then my other critters my parents so I went on this snowboarding trip with my buddy Matt oh my god and I sprained my ankle like a day in and my parents came to pick me up and it was like in the Catskills so it's

like a two-hour-ish drive I think and they told me as we were leaving the hotel that they're separating right so I like you know wait till the end of the ride went till you're pulling into the neighborhood it was so annoying I told them stuff like I'm what I wanted them to feel guilty so I said I'm gonna be a bad kid if you guys said that to him and I was sleeping and then I I woke up for a second because they were arguing in the front seat and I figured out what they were arguing about and what they're getting separated about is that my dad was talking to this other woman at work like very closely and she he asked her

if he should shave his balls for my mom and he's like I did it for you I like I woke up to that him being like I wanted to know for us for you and she's like you don't ask another woman if you want to save your balls Brendan what the fuck yeah and I didn't even tell them I was up I just sat sat in it I also like out of that whole story Sagalo gets in the car his parents give him he's a 12 year old fat kid his parents give him the most devastating news that they're getting a board a divorce and then he passes out and goes to bed you couldn't have been that torn apart if you were like oh that sucked

solid wood in the back seat wait did you ever find out if your dad did shave his balls or she I think he did oh my god is that the woman time is that the woman that he started started that he ended up marrying no this woman's name was Wendy I think he definitely nailed that chick though maybe but my my mom this when I hear something trashy my mom yes sister left her a voicemail like the fuck away from my husband you're ruining my family Rossy in a 3C is a who it the smash in the buttons out front in front of the apartment God about that oh my god dude that is that's that's a family level of garbage your mom is garbage I mean your

mom's mom was garbage that's like yeah the whole the whole thing the whole Long Island just breeds trash dude man that mayflower must have been stinky there was a lot of trash on that thing I'm pretty sure oh man I don't know if I should I'm pretty sure my dad did cheat on my mom though because I know for sure he brought some chicken to your room yeah gotta get out of you little shit go hit the damn I got a piece with me alright remember you remember your dad's friend Stacy yeah you remember Phyllis from work my mom one time my parents are arguing and they're screaming at each other one night and me and my sister are

like just like in in it we're just in it I remember us being in the den listening to them fucking going at it and we were always taking my dad's side for some reason like he was always kind of like the good cop between them so we were like mom like yelling at her she goes you want to know why I met because your dad fucked up prostitute and like said that I was like fucking I was like 13 years old oh yeah Jesus Christ dude that your your family is in the back of your head we were like all right way to go dad dad playing with the pros I see good job I don't know you're a pro ball player so at 12 they get separated your

dad moves into your your bedroom a boys bedroom at the age of 12 he still got anybody that's like the fortress of solitude yeah yeah so you got to get out of your room yeah and I slept in the den for a little bit and then and then he started sleeping with my mom a little bit like in the same bedroom you know just whatever I don't know I don't think I like talking about the journal huh getting it at home that ain't delivery I can shave balls chicks from work getting back with the ex taking your room this guy's alright yeah man he should be on the show he's a good dude but then after a while like I started sleeping in my

room for a couple years and he would like go to hotels and stuff and then when I was in college he got a house he got an apartment in Jersey City and I lived there for a little fact that your dad was sleeping in hotels for extended periods of time as bad yeah that's rough man yeah I wouldn't just like rent a place for like 900 bucks a month in Long Island why did he move out when you were 12 when they said they were getting it separated I don't know because they just he just wouldn't like there would be some nights where he wouldn't be there and he would just be like staying out at a hotel or whatever I have no idea and

then some nights where he would stay and he'd sleep in my room or he'd sleep in we had a guest room for a little bit that was like my old room and then when we built a part of the house that's all you guys had an addition we got an addition that's gonna be a real trashy yeah they gotta be done they can be nice but they gotta be done well otherwise additions you're like did you just fucking glue this onto the side of your house I think it was good like now the kitchen's upstairs you're like the washers in one room the dryers and another look the fuck is going on in here but yeah eventually my dad moved to

Jersey City that is that is a strange upbringing for it to be that young to be like 12 13 in those formative years to have all that going on him live in there that's fucking and then you and then you improved on the house at some point during all that well probably fine they probably got a good rate to refi and put money back in the back in the place you know well they would they would fight all the time but they were trying to make it work I think like a like let's make it work until you know they go to get out of our den that's why they built this like an extension was your mom was your mom

dating during this time trash you are you just called an addition to an extension oh my bad yeah we're gonna get an extender on the house they were there the real trashy move is to is to when the garage is attached to the house to make the garage the new living room yeah I know people have done that you feel you know you're walking on concrete when you're walking it like I don't care how much padding and carpet you put down when you step into a room a family room that was a garage you know it and there's like bugs everywhere yeah in the corner and shit more still there I lived above the garage my room was

above the garage it's cold in the one of those quick let's get into some let's get into some more questions Jesus Christ that unraveled into I'm telling you it's all gonna be like that okay speaking of let's get these out of the way speaking of garages did you so you had a garage did you have a garage was there a refrigerator in that garage no and that's the one that I was thinking of when I was earlier when I was like oh I know that they ask if there's a fridge in your garage and I didn't have one wow so just one fridge in the whole house if there was though I just remembered there was there wasn't a fridge but there was

a bunch of like waters and stuff just like like that was our storage for drinks but yeah fridge okay there'd be like there'd be that remember in the summer every once in a while that's a weird level of trash but yeah in the summer a warm soda would be would it would hit the spot you know I'm talking about like a cold grape soda or a warm grape soda dude it felt like it burned your mouth but it was like if you pulled it out of the garage in August it was like fucking hot to the point where it would sink to the top of your mouth like pizza my mom would would keep her true blue 100s in the garage she had like

cartons of it so I would steal those from the garage you're buying a carton that's game set and if you're buying a carton and calling your husband's mistress that's fucking trash wait with the true blues are the true blues the ones that had like that like it was like a like a crosshair in the filter yeah I think so where it was like it kind of had like a new porty kind of feel to it in the filter oh or something I don't remember they were they were long white cigarettes that were like gross she smoked the hundreds when we when I was smoking them because I was young he said like oh they he said that I was

smoking old lady cigarettes I can't whatever dude I'm fucking 11 get the fuck out of my face yeah not walking through the fucking outlet that's a back a well let old ladies cigarettes all right I gotta follow up to that did you did that garage have a garage door opener um it did yeah it did one in one in the car and then one right on the side of it where you the combination yeah yeah I remember those things dropped we got one I was like dude what do we work for NASA what the fuck dude the fucking the numbers would always get the numbers that you press would always like rub off you could anybody could find out what

the combination is if you just went through all four combinations like a thousand times yeah it's like two four one two one four two four yeah you guys had that you had the garage lock where you put in the code yeah that's what I'm talking about we had a garage door opener like a remote one but you know when the combo came out in like the mid 90s like the flip up and you go bop bop bop bop enter yeah the best I literally felt like an astronaut around keys yeah it's like oh I got the code are you what you got the code oh he knows the code you know the code yeah that's rich kid shit right there yeah I was I was middle class

America right there baby all right fully what do you got you said that you you meant you had mentioned earlier in the broadcast that you were in a musical group yeah in high school I was in a what was it all these pop punk band called toxic toast oh my god and this guy out of my office and we would play we played like we actually played shows we played like VFW's and shit and like I wanted to be Billy Joe Armstrong slash Tom DeLong that was like my dream well you had the broken home the fucking catapult you to rock success when did it what did you form this supergroup it was me Ted Nugent I it was we were 17 till about 18 so

it was like it was no reunion tour hell of a run best new best you know what a toxic toes Joey got married if you know what I'm saying scary scare release his first album and his best of in the same week we we had a house party at my buddy Luke's who was the drummer of the band and we in the middle of the house party we were like planning to have a show so we told everybody like going to the backyard we're gonna have a show and we were just fucking awful and it was like maybe the worst experience for everybody to have to watch like you did you know you did your hair to how you wanted it to be course like I was wearing a black

bandana around my head like where my hair would come out but it was like this you know yeah like the flat along the front yeah what instrument did you play in the band lead guitar baby and I mean lead guitar there's no guitar there was a three-piece there was no rhythm section guitar and I and I was the lead singer classically trained I assume well I was really trying to be like Tom's along or I'd be like like whining while I'm singing do you remember a name of one of your songs yes one of them was what would you say would be your your guys biggest commercial hit what was our single yeah yeah God I was forgot the

name of it it was like Matt Max knew the name was one of the one of the names of it Max Max knew the name yeah not a bad name for a song but the song had nothing to do with anyone named Max or anything we were just like let's name it this like that's what's artsy about it the song what that's what's artsy about it I like that yeah right artsy sure I'm being serious yeah the first song I wrote was called sunny day well I would like write songs about my girlfriend at the time and stuff and like sing it to her one time I called my girlfriend's phone and it went to voicemail and I sang her a Wonderwall while playing a

guitar that's cringe worthy I was in a band my buddy hold on hold on hold on it were you dating the chick from your dad's work at this point yeah I was I was like Wendy this is for you we're gonna take hip I'm sorry I was I was in a band of my buddy came out we were like you know 13 or four I don't even know how old we are 15 and came down as a gay you know my uncle gave me something like a box of his old records and stuff and like I found a journal in there I think there's some lyrics we can use he said we could use them I'm like okay I open it up he's I'm like these are actually really good and I look at it which is

and it's it says we're two-law souls swimming in a fish bowl year after he's like you think we can use that I'm like I think somebody already has the rights to that one you played your eyes a dirtbag uncle your uncle tried to pawn that off as him that's so funny dude read these lyrics that my uncle came up with I know I don't know who was lying to me why all right man have you ever been or anyone in your family ever been considered a juggalo or a jiggalette yeah I mean I get I get people calling me a juggalo to this day still but I'm I hate the insane clown posse or at least I did because I was a big Eminem fan

once they stopped doing PCP at their shows they really okay so you never actually participated no I didn't like that kind of music I would assume this has to be yes based on the history that you've laid out in front of us the lineage have you ever had a sexual encounter with a jiggalette you've had to have slept with well no I know I didn't even know one in high school I had no idea yeah and break they didn't they didn't get into all the circles that's like a real Midwest weird stuff I think yeah I don't I don't think that's a long island thing something not like a Philly New York ball like these yeah it's not

very close to like the juggalos yeah it's real Midwest that's what like the meeting of the juggalos is or whatever it's always like out in like Detroit or something would you go would you go to concerts in the summer like outdoor concerts like yeah it is like Warp Tour and everything and like you know kids still wears fans what are you talking about of course I had a great Warp Tour there was it was no effects 2009 no effects Molly Big D in the kids table anti-flag bad religion that's a really good and all the mountain do code red you can drink baby

the Warp Tour all right I got one anybody in your house or it's anybody in your extended family ever lived on a houseboat no that's a bad look if you end up on water if you can't get on land you know you fucked up somewhere yeah no that never happened I didn't even know anybody that owned a boat okay or anything how do how do you feel about the rotisserie chicken from the supermarket because I got to tell you before you answer we're too big fans over here a huge fan of the rotisserie I wrote a chick baby get me a right now we got a podcast ladies and gentlemen you never did that you take the string

off and then you go just kind of lick it up no you not that I would admit publicly fully uses it in his shoes I don't know I make a belt what do you five chickens I don't know what they put in that fucking roto but that thing for and it's like six bucks six bucks out the door you got a whole chicken we would buy that like when me my friends were driving around Long Island and shit and we were like I'm hungry we would just go to the supermarket buy that and like eat it in the parking lot yeah wow that's real have some respect get a tequito or something kids you ride this skateboard with a rotisserie chicken I was like an

old man and I walked through the parking lot of a supermarket and saw two kids eating a fucking rotisserie chicken in the parking lot like goddamn country's going to hell pay that Brendan have you ever worn a t-shirt or do you still wear a t-shirt in the pool we went swimming right now would you be wearing a t-shirt if we went if we threw a party at a story of park and rented out the pool and there was a bunch of female comics there and a bunch of people would you swim in your t-shirt no I wouldn't because I would go in the water body but I just got to give the excuse I just got out of the shower I just yeah I wouldn't

even get in the pool I would show up to the pool in jeans I just brush my teeth I can't no but I did that for a couple of years where like couple summers I was going into the pool with my shirt on I would say I've done it before too that reminds me a little known fact about Brendan Sagalow Brendan you know one of the questions on our regard which would be do you have any tattoos which you do have tattoos and I think it's no secret that the trashiest tattoo that you have is you have a tattoo of a famous famous author on your chest correct technically yes I'm aware I'm aware and this is what makes you a hundred percent garbage I

knew this one here's a hunter as Thompson but it's actually from the cover of fear and loathing the movie I mean actually Johnny did God do you have a tattoo of somebody fake do you have a tattoo of the actor who played somebody famous in a movie yes I do I had hard garbage right playing hunter as Thompson on my chest Jesus I didn't know that that's right next to my heart yeah when he said author I thought you had I thought you had like RL Steiner somebody got long fellow when his dick have you ever vandalized in the name of skateboarding yeah I got either die bro yeah I got suspended from middle school for a week because I drew

the independent iron cross in the bathroom so like the iron cross was banned from my school because it was like a Nazi symbol but I only knew it as the skateboard yeah company so I like stood up against the man and I would be drawing it on everything and I drew it a huge one in the bathroom a huge iron cross in the bathroom and then I got suspended for six weeks not six weeks one week I got suspended for six weeks in high school a lot of time in the den huh a lot of time in the dead that's gonna be the name of my memoir three weeks in the den slide your food in under the door go ahead kip I I got a little a

couple of food questions growing up did your mom make crescent dinner rolls no no I don't even know what that any any any Pillsbury products that you would pop out of that can and make make no my mom wouldn't cook we would get we would get delivery almost every night or my mom would microwave a hamburger patty with cheese on it for me wait a raw hamburger patty she take it from the fridge and she'd put it on a she'd put it on a plate and then she put the plate in the microwave with cheese on it and she'd microwave for like two minutes and then give that to me they should have they should have took you guys away from

I'm not gonna lie there should have been somebody should have intervened at some point the hell's going out what's going on out on Long Island I thought that was normal I tried to do my burgers that's not normal yeah my friend came over and I said do you want a burger and I'm putting it in the microwave and he wouldn't need it I would have left that's why haven't asked him for money what happened to your friend Kevin he doesn't call me anymore he doesn't answer my calls did your did your family growing up did you guys have a window unit AC was there any window units sticking out of this no we had a we had a real AC like

one that was I have a window AC right now yeah dude I just had this conversation last night you can have I don't care what fucking central air system you got you got a small room and a window unit cranking on fucking 60 dude nothing gets colder than that dog but it's the best man the but running when I sleep oh it shuts you out of the world to that's the best it's a coldness down to the bone smell the free on in the air oh man I like they get dude and it's all I only put it on the highest thing at the lowest temperature they give me the remote I fucking throw it out I snap it and have I'm like I'm never gonna need

this oh yeah I just leave it on leave it on fucking 55 going just fucking crushing it all right this one I got this is so I spent a lot of time with my family my family as the more it's more time I spend with them are fucking pure Philly trash like pure fucking uncultured unadulterated Philly trash when you Thanksgiving dinner right you go to Thanksgiving dinner you have it whatever is there ketchup on the table at Thanksgiving oh no no there's not anything on the table let's start there's a turkeys on it turkeys and we put it in six weeks ago

my cousin puts ketchup on Thanksgiving dinner oh that's so gross trash on what the turkey on just have all over the top like it's fucking salt and pepper she don't get her it's a girl what does this bruiser look like I gotta get a what's she running about a deuce deuce in a quarter what do we got here I got to see this bucks County 3 but you got coming over to your house I'm fucking oh my god I've never seen it they were talking about it on them on the beach I was like what the fuck ketchup on Thanksgiving dinner who you are sounds like a keeper I don't know yeah she's seeing anybody or it'd be really bad if

it was ketchup packets yeah rings around I'm doing it with your teeth yeah I have a question too but I want to know what was what was your mom's go-to delivery delivery oh my god the on a school night every night yeah pizza and peaking kitchen the Chinese place around the block from us was huge I would have like I would just always come home after school to spare ribs and rice combo every night was Friday night it's a second yeah I got another food one this is real telling I found out just from my own personal experience of looking back when I first had this experience very telling of how trashy a family is when

if ever was the first time you've had lobster if I had it once I had it once at my friend Sam's house once it was left over is that his dad brought home and he gave it to my buddy Sam and I was like can I have one I hated it dude oh that's what that's important say I hate it just say you're feeling I even like it not good I I think I'm allergic to BMWs you still have the claw hidden under your pillow I was 32 years old was the first time I had lobster oh that was always the trashy move at the Foley house when there was every New Year's Eve pop would go out a couple of lobsters

some muscles little shrimp get a little crab boy in the Delaware River catching him it was a little different he wasn't buying them the lobsters were screaming before you put it in the way yeah man I didn't we were a crab family crabs is a whole nother story I mean because they're about we didn't ever nickel a pop we had sushi a lot yeah all right like the sushi rolls where it comes in that plastic thing with that fake grass you know yeah that's strip of green whatever that is that's at least I mean you know that's better than chicken nuggets and applesauce or whatever well that was there as well so dude I love someone I

was I had some Purdue fucking nuggets shaped like the dinosaurs over the weekend because they were making them for the kids good night sags did you guys have a pool yeah we had a we had a above ground pool nice we're in the shape of a it was just a circle like it was the worst we I think we did talk I think we talked about this where like the only fun that you can have in this thing is running along the sides of it a whirlpool whirlpools were fun though yeah it was like if you tried to bring like like a thing to lay on it would take up most of the pool so you would just be in the center just floating moving anywhere just floating

on it that's a big boy at the Foley house could be got a look at that thing you were you know what to do trashy foley his foley's above ground pool is like almost Olympic size dude it's like a best flim steal and that puppy out there dude it's like a regular size pool but above ground you still have it I can't get rid of it now I'm still rocking a rolling club Foley fucking come on down that's crazy dude in your backyard did you have an electric bug zapper no but we should have because one of the windows was infested with wasps it was just like yeah wasps a band like what every year yeah yeah it was it's hard to

describe but there's like a window into the kitchen and then there was like a little hole on the outside of it and you just see wasps fly in there so it's like you could hang out in the backyard as long as you don't bother the wasps you talking about the neighbors huh did you did you have who cut the grass was it you and your dad or did you have a service landscapers okay that's admirable that's admirable but you are a garbage out that that is you get you got money for the landscaper you can't get a hot meal and they're fucking and they're separated he's living in your room that is insane I know it's it's my my trashiness is

very subtle it's it's you have to you have to put the pieces together like a math problem so it's like we could afford how subtle it how subtle it is you look like you're broadcasting from a shower right you thought you were rich didn't you sags you thought you guys had some money which you probably now they probably did but they were out every night that's quiche if you're ordering fucking four entrees a night from Pete King duck we went to Disney World every every year yeah we went to the wax museum in Paris when I was nine you went to a wax you went to Paris and ended up in a wax museum there's nothing else in

Paris that you end up in a fucking wax museum standing at the Danny DeVito what are you doing hey is there a Donnie Park you're up over here I get these kids into a fucking a wax museum in Paris France not Notre Dame not the Eiffel Tower the Champs-Elysees the Louvre we went to Madame Tussauds so that was kind of French no there's one in fucking there's one on 43rd Street what are you talking about next to a David you could have taken the Long Island Railroad to the fucking wax museum yet you do it in fucking the most beautiful city in the world it's so funny alright I think I

only got one more for you I mean where do we go from here I mean what the fuck so what what do you assume am I trash or is it still we're still on the fence about it I got one I got two more okay growing up did you have ever have one of the following a remote control boat or a remote control helicopter oh I had a remote control helicopter work properly no it broke after like a couple days but we also had those like science experiment rockets that you oh yeah the little thing go and then you have like chase it or something yeah you want to hear a real nerd story I stayed I was in a rocket club one time and elementary

wow we say ladies huh we stayed after a launch rockets like a couple of fucking zeros after this we're all going to the wah wah I got one more for you buddy growing up this is this is kind of like new money trash do you have in the 90s or 2000s did you have premium cable channels yeah we had like TV and stuff yeah we had the dish I don't care I don't care what premium package you have if it's going to the satellite dish you had the dish yeah the satellite so every time it rained it would like like you couldn't watch TV or anything like that yeah and you couldn't follow local weather because you didn't get local news

channels so you never knew what it was gonna rain yeah and we got like that was you and stuff but we wouldn't buy it but it was that's that's new money that's what somebody gets in there like this is the new technology drill this on the side of my house oh man my family is ill to that day like new money got to get the thing that's new gotta get like my mom always gets the new iPhone if a new iPhone comes out she's got it and she she does the same thing she'll say it the same way I got the new iPhone and she'll say it just like that she's got nothing to live for my kids are malnourished but I got how many nights a

week would you say did you guys used to eat at the table like would you would you try to put the you eat in front of the coffee table in front of the TV no I ate standing up at the at like the how do I describe this like the like a like a like a table top but it wasn't a table you know like where the drawers are and everything yeah counter by the sink a counter the counter yeah I would with and we had a TV in the kitchen I mean I know it was bad I didn't know it was this bad so I would watch that and I'd watch like Bernie Mac show or Simpsons or whatever and eat Chinese food holy shit yeah we never eat at the table

together as your mother ever bummed the cigarette off of you she bummed one off of my friend Luke hey Luke you got another one of those for me let me get a long ride coming up dude we always thought that was so cool we're like oh yeah you're trash I don't wait up the same thing and now as you get older you realize that's fucking garbage yeah that is real garbage dude if you think it's cool that your mom is bombing a cigarette off a child you're in trash ain't no two ways around it that is God by you have you ever have you ever stolen weed from your parents no my parents in smoke my next question was is your mom

ever steal weed from you I was I don't know about that maybe maybe she did I bet you did a couple bags a little light she would steal like my bowls to keep away from me but okay now she's parenting okay we see where the line is alright fair enough okay yeah what else you got keep you got anything else that's it buddy I'm out I want to see if I have one more for mr. sagalow oh um this is kind of a moot point but if you ever used spray on deodorant oh yeah of course of course dude the the extreme one remember extreme where the it would point up and bam margera was the spokesperson for it bam margera could have sold you

just about anything couldn't he could he could he could have told me to kill my parents did you ever think about trying to create your own show like that oh yeah me and my friends film shit like I like why all the time we would like throw ourselves and on in shopping carts dude if you got a hold of a shopping cart as a teenager in the suburbs right around jackass was out somebody was breaking something for sure yeah dude we would like we would have our own little thing mixed with skate videos but we're like bad skaters so it's like yeah us jumping on a curb or whatever and then it would go to us me like pretending to fall and

fall like with a milkshake or something it was brutal love to get my hands on those puppies that archival footage I got called it sda stupid dumbass MTV wasn't going for it unbelievable that and toxic toast can you believe we didn't get greenlit man who would have thought one of my absolute favorite people we work together a lot we take rides home together a lot we ride home together we have a fun time I absolutely love you to death mr. Brendan Sagalow ladies and gentlemen just pure like this is what I want like this is just just a trash it's just trash it's beautiful American garbage I appreciate it guys I love you

all you both very much and I've been wondering on this show for a minute to talk about my fucking life and then I gotta be honest it did not this literally I thought I had an idea but man that fucking blew me away oh yeah what was the two the two things the craziest two things to me is that you slept in the den whatever and then you went to the you went to a fucking wax museum in France that's insane yeah that's like going to New York that's like that's like going to fucking New York from Poland and going to watch a movie or something my dad what I would have my dad would have my dad would have had a fight me to

get my room at 12 years old I don't know I would have fought him well I also had you was it like that sad Saturday morning where you're like taking your posters down like getting like you got fired from a job but you have your stuff in a box well here let me let me give my theory he I think he was so he wanted that a little bit because that's not what he was he wanted like the the link when chat the angst of like yeah I'm even have the room I sleep on the fucking couch and like yeah because I'm gonna be a fucking punk rocker and like well rockers don't have themed bedrooms you know what I mean yeah sleep on the

fucking couch and do whatever they want like the thought of my parents getting divorced made me go oh man everybody's gonna be giving me attention and I'm gonna be this cool kid with like a divorced parent you know like I looked forward to the pain makes it you know you're not talking to the wasps so what are you doing later I want to say this we worked right before the everything right before corona broke me and you work together my last weekend working really was yeah I've been alive with with Paul Versey and we were driving this is how ingrained and trashy as we get to the toll which is 16 bucks and he goes

whoo man 16 bucks for the toll that's expensive and then just turned his head and didn't even reach for his fucking wallet they literally went whoo man they're charging 16 bucks to the toll huh that stinks well where I'm from you're driving you're paying that toll oh yes no I did obviously I mean you were making me if it was up to you to pay we'd still be standing there wait we're also making more money than me that weekend yeah this is inside baseball but who hosted and who featured I think I hosted he hosted I featured yeah yeah there you go Kevin should pay the toll yeah yeah rich guy plus you got the cash

to his kids sleeping in the fucking den have a little fucking sympathy yeah kids I keep sending letters to bam Margera for help he's not getting back to me yeah he's got a rough paper route that one sags is there anything you want to the gang out there to know that they might not might not already know where can we find you already know follow me on Twitter and Instagram at Brent and Saiglo listen to my podcast garbage days it has nothing to do with what you guys are doing but same word and then I have another podcast called what's the scenario it's a patreon exclusive podcast so you want to check that out that's

former yes with Fini in my cannon yeah and we ask each other questions like what what what ifs and what would you do and scenarios and stuff like that and it's really fun yeah I probably should have said those for your for your intro I don't know why I went with yeah you said you said a lie that I put on my writer for writer for joking off well that's real that I like that use Rob low because that's not that's like right there in the middle that that's not gonna raise any questions from anybody yeah yeah who would lie about Rob low who did get one of my jokes on the just one joke is on this the roast so you go

on it there you go you aren't hired by them but you wrote on it oh yeah I think even the person who said my joke didn't even know I wrote it because I gave it to someone you were given to a writer then who gave it to them yeah yeah yeah it's the way this game works baby yeah keeps getting sadder and sadder as the episode goes on doesn't it ladies and gentlemen come on our good pal mr. Brent and Saiglo Brent and thank you so much keep anything you want the folks out there to know if you haven't already please make sure you rate review subscribe on iTunes also full video available on YouTube you can check it

out there a lot of people commenting stuff like that also patreon if you haven't already you can join the patreon that thing is starting to get cooking we just started this week and we're almost or halfway to our first goal of a hundred patrons and at a hundred patrons we will go to Foley's fucking parents house and do a garbage style and TV cribs and I am going to turn that place out dude fuck yeah I was there this week looking around just think I'm like oh man he's gonna fucking kill me for these they can't be there when I do that by the way I'm not having your fucking love your dumb mom and dad look at me why I

trashed their life my dad is parking holding dad is gonna get a shotgun after hearing you fucking bust his house's balls all day yeah I'll send them out to fucking Rob you know red lobster or something for the day and the king where are we leaving what was the name of the Chinese place peaking kitchen which I tried to get a job at when I was 15 I tried to I gave them my I asked for an application and they laughed in my face yeah I'm not having to go a place to ask for an application yeah an application yeah he would just like I don't want to work with you now man guys thanks for having me man yeah buddy thank you

man this was so much fun we appreciate you we'll see you soon buddy thank you later later pal