Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Cabana Boyz w/ Kippy & Foley
Episode Date: October 26, 2023Are You Garbage is back with Kippy and Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. Its a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live ...show! NEW TOUR DATES: https://areyougarbage.com/ Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/hfoleycomedy/ Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/ PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ This Show is sponsored by BetterHelp Better Help: https://www.BetterHelp.com/GARBAGE Box of Awesome: https://www.BoxOfAwesome.com Promo Code: GARBAGE Displate: https://www.displate.com Promo Code: Garbage Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?
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Discussion (0)
This one's fun is from Omar. Is it garbs who pay off tonight's tickets in multiple payments?
Try to spread that shit around!
Don't talk to me next, Monk, will you?
Wait on a few things to shake out.
Gang to stay trashy, Taurus coming to a city near you.
Stand up comedy, plus we play the Leo-I-G with the crowd.
Shows your selling out and you can get your tickets at rugarbage.com.
See you there!
Welcome to another exciting edition of...
Are You Gobbage?
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash.
Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's new favorite podcasts. This is our you Garbage for sure
So we'll show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that after growth to be classy
Yeah, it is the big old piece of trash trash trash trash trash. I'm your host a totally coming at you on a beautiful day
We're out back here at Toodies in the new edition. She's upstairs getting a... She just swallowed a burp.
I did not.
How dare you.
I apologize.
And Toody's upstairs filling out our wills.
Okay.
Yeah.
Fertway she's filling out our wills.
Yeah.
Okay.
Shockingly left it all to herself.
Smart broad.
Uh huh, she knows we're gonna be traveling a lot.
She's looking for something to happen.
Yeah. It's broads cutting her breakline.
I can wink him off for something.
My co-host is coming at you from across the table. He is the CEO of our UGAR.
But it's all his fault. Give it up for KJ.
I'm getting J.S. right.
Put that fucking hate on me. God damn.
Case to feds are listening.
Jeez, what's up?
I'm a fancy!
You're a fancy. What's up everybody?
Thanks for tuning in.
I'm a fancy, fancy.
As always, please make sure you rate,
review, subscribe on iTunes,
full video available,
and YouTube as you know those numbers are.
Trudor of cooking.
And obviously the greatest website of all time,
www.patreon.com.
Slash or you garbage, you go over there, you sign up.
I'm gonna be son over there.
You get a bajillion hours of content over there.
And also, it's last couple of days.
If you sign up for Patreon in October of 2023,
you'll be in it in a contest to be interviewed
by Big Man and myself on an app of RU Garbi.
Look at that.
Yes, still tweaking all the deets, but get in there.
It's a good time.
I have in my lawyer go over all the paperwork.
Send you a bus ticket.
You get to talk to two guys who look like us.
Kelvin and Schmemory.
Yeah, that would be to it.
That would be for we should hire two actors that look like us.
So when the person to person sits down They guys look way different on campus. They look like us just a little off
Okay, camera ads temp out
Yeah
Good stuff. I told you that I'm sure you're gonna introduce Toby Jesus
Man the big bands on the fritz
Yeah, you have a nice big shout out to our producer X short and add the magic man makes us all look good works to ones of two's the three's in the four's easily forgettable
Crosses the decent Tony McDougal.
He's so good.
You don't even know he's there.
Give it up for T-bone and the scruff and Toby McMullen everybody.
They call me the fly on the wall.
Put a bell on you or something.
I forgot about it.
What up, dogs?
Hey, pal.
What up, T-bone?
What's cooking?
Nothing, man.
I've never had a side.
Kibby's got a little bit of lunch lady voice, go.
Oh, man.
This is called Heaters and Beers.
This is brought to you by Philip Morris.
Do it all.
Do it all.
Do it all.
Do it all.
Gurgle in order.
Oh, man.
Tony, the Heaters in the fall in the winter it's
overrated man I want to get off of my want to get out of them okay and I don't want
stopping here I know I know I know it's on me I get it thought about that nicotine gum
nicotine guy fucking jackalax well you in that nicotine guy fucking jackalax. Well, you know, nicotine.
And the, the, the, I got to figure out something for the winner with the color.
Now we're, we're going on the cruise. I'm showing up fucking like I just walked off
fucking out of the chophouse and I know or something like that in the middle of
a winner. Okay. I don't know what's that all about. I work at a slaughterhouse.
And I know I assume those guys don't get a lot of sun. You know? Sure. I wanted
it. I wanted to be a little, a little, you know, go to go get, go to a tanning bag. I know,
but it's not that great. They doesn't come out right. I'm a sun guy. Okay. You give me
the sun a couple of days later. Plus this really breaks the facade man. The fucking yellow
under my eyes.
No, I think I'm washing my face with mustard.
Got a bad case of jondis.
That's the most Philadelphia disease you can have.
Yeah. Fucking yikes.
Yellow skin, yellow teeth. If I can all banged up.
Have a lemon. Where you kid?
Where the love at that?
A lemon. That's good for
John. This isn't it lemon? There's that scurvy. That's okay. That's what the British sailors
used to get. They were crossing the Atlantic. Anyway, I don't yeah. I wish I was a little
bit, I had a little bit better color and I got nothing yet to wear. Well, yeah, here's
the thing. We're going, uh, bird crisis.
Shout out to you, big bird.
Yep.
He's totally loaded crews, baby.
The fully loaded crews, uh, the boys are setting sail, uh, this weekend, we're going to
be the fucking anchors up, bombs away, a hoi madey, the whole nine yards.
And this is where this is our first crews and obviously, crews have been well documented
on this podcast
over the past few years.
Yes.
For better or for worse.
Check out the Christmas episode.
That's how you're going to get here.
That's how you're going to get here to be on our you guard, but you're going to take
Kippy's crew.
No, it's actually the episode after the Christmas episode, I think, is the real, is the real
view.
I got Kippy a cruise for Christmas slash.
Why are you bring up old shit
He did not appreciate it. Well birds pay me to go on the cruise
Yeah, so I think we will
First cruise for each of us. I think first cruise. I think we will come into our full form on a cruise. Yeah, I mean
It's pretty much unlimited food real on yeah unlimited food
Unlimited booze
Just like fucking heaters go Lord. There's a casino on board. Whoa. I didn't know that yeah, so I think it's gonna We're gonna be you're gonna be right. Sure does it right, doesn't it? We're gonna shout out to the machine
Yeah, I'm gonna be in there. I'm gonna be in the pool, gonna hop out of the pool, have a heater,
have a my tie, go play the tables,
go grab a lobster,
come back out, jump in a pool, do a show.
Yeah, lobster, this kind of cruise.
I know it's, felt seafood.
Yeah, I don't know.
It's the summer down there.
Still locked over, baby.
I don't know what you want.
I eat by seasons, okay?
Not temperature.
Turn on that kind of bathing suit.
Man, did they casino open all night?
Are things 24, 7 on cruises?
I don't know, can you look on that?
I would presume it's international waters, baby.
We're gonna be, I wanna get some fucking, I did order,
so I gotta see how-
Stay away from the railing.
How it's for everybody.
I'm staying in the center of the whole, you know what I mean?
A lot of people wouldn't mind getting me out of the way. Push me over.
Um, end up like a fucking 60 minutes episode.
Um, I think, um, I'm excited.
I want to, I got some fresh gear coming.
I hope it fits.
I got a few things.
I want to go full fucking cabana, having fun doing it or I'm fucking in it.
Baby, you're on the cruise.
You got to fucking live live live.
It's America.
Me too. My only problem is problem is is that the the DXL
They're not they're gonna have all fall shit
I can still get bathing suits and stuff not now. What are you talking about they they switch it over?
Did they got room for all that shit in the back? Yeah a lot of fabric
Yeah, dude they got to get rid of that stuff. They start rolling that stuff out around late August. Mm-hmm. So sweat shirts and shit like that.
I want to look fresh though. Maybe I'll hit one down here in my end before we get before we hop on a boot. There you go. Yeah
Just a little tags on me and shit. They get that
So where are you going with that? Where are you going with them trunks running out the front?
T-bone. What do you got in the ship? All right, so you're setting sail
because I will not be attending
because I'm not a cruise guy.
You'll, we got a new guy Luke come with.
Who guy Luke's on the cruise.
Well, I need to send you guys out there
with the, with the boozer, you know what I mean?
Sure, no, I get it.
And Toby.
Oh, Kevin boy.
Toby is a, a, sober man, right?
Well, you know, I don't drink in men. There you go. And, you know, Adon Drinkerman.
There you go.
And, you know, it wouldn't be,
that's a tough thing for a sober boy to be, you know,
that's a lot of party and in a confined space.
That's a knife fight.
There could be people walking around with blinders
under their arms.
I can't, that's me.
Your boss, hey, what's up, bro?
Does Luke have his own room?
Is he Luke's got his own room?
Okay.
No, he's just sleeping one of the lifeboats.
Be ready.
Well, stow away.
Yeah, all right.
You'll be setting sail on the beautiful Norwegian Pearl.
Ooh, Norwegian Pearl.
93,530 feet.
A good time.
I'll take that one.
I'm gonna shrimp her on here.
It's gonna say, you got damn right.
2300 guests capacity.
It was refurbished in 2021.
So it's gonna be tip top shape.
I don't like the word refurbished if I'm being honest with you.
On the vessel.
You're gonna serve an old tune about 2300 souls on that day.
Yeah, it's a certified pre-owned cruise ship.
Got it at Carfax.
At Carmax? No. Carvana? What is it? Got it at Lenny's yacht sales
All right, you got a bunch of dining options. Okay for your 24 hour eatery
Toby with the fucking cold hard facts that we need yeah
Exxon leave my own
No, no, no, this is gonna be right up your alley. I can already tell.
Oh, Sheenens, Barangryl.
Oh, Sheenens.
I jive my cry.
That's fucking me stumbling in there.
330 getting some fucking, you know,
some bangers and mashers, some fish and chips.
So crop the kitchens open to?
Just 24 hour eatery and drinkery.
You got a menu?
They got no no they got no
This was a 12 deck buffet. It's a buffet on deck 12
Damn, I kind of wish it was a 12 deck buffet. I never get to the end of that thing. I'm eating through the hall
I'm sealing up doors. Yeah, this place looks all right and your week
That's nice. Yeah, then you got the
You got you got the garden cafe skip that load is garden anything with garden. I'm gonna imagine you I got to do a salad a day
I'll take that bet
Hey, I gotta keep it tight. I got to fucking those impacts. I can really see you doing the
It's like four days. I'm doing I'm not doing any salads. It's not a thing about it. It's like four days. I'm doing, I'm going, I'm burning.
I'm doing burgers for breakfast.
Oh, 24 hour room service.
Nice.
Hello.
The summer palace looks nice.
What's that?
What are the casino rules on that,
on that vessel there?
Uh, give me, give me, give me.
Anybody that'll play ball.
Uh, well, you got any dealers that are jammed up with the sharks
I'll tell you even if they're tipping their cards. I won't help you that much
Speaking from experience. All right. You got a world-class spa. That's all right. Ah, that's nice
They're normally not open 24 hours a day, but they are open late nights cool. Oh, they got a Starbucks
Starbeezies I get my egg bites. Oh, yeah.
Casinos and shops.
250 calories for those kale.
Kale, much your ones.
You do dough of them.
In a nice breakfast.
Sure.
And a coffee.
Okay.
I'm looking for the casino.
Plus you can take it.
It just says they're not and when you pour,
they close them.
Plus you can take laps around the boat
to get your exercise.
You get your steps in.
In a perfect world, perfect world.
Hit the gym, since it's there.
Sure.
Get a sweat, jump in the pool.
Typically when we say to a hotel that has that,
well, you know, I'll try to get some sort of action.
Definitely jump in the pool.
Oh yeah, I'm bombing a pool all day.
You got a pool right?
We're doing an episode from the pull progress
Are we really no what be cool? I don't know if it'll be offered during your voyage
But they do do dealer no deal on the ship which is fun what like the game show. Yeah, that's probably none
That's probably like their entertainment when it's not a
We have a lot of fun a lot of fun stuff playing. It's gonna be cool. Yeah, can't wait. Yeah, they got a basketball volleyball and tennis courts
Card room. There you go. Well, like tarot cards. You go walk in pick a card any card. Nope. Oh, no, it's like bridge and stuff
Oh, get out of here played bridge majon did a little I've done a little gin rummy before but never bridge
Then he started playing majong recently. Yeah, really. Uh-huh. That was just for Jewish ladies
That's what she said her I guess her friends, uh, you know the her the her Jewish games they play good
Good, so she's playing a much. She's like I'm like, what are you doing? She goes I'm just playing majong
I said who are you neat. She's cleaning them all out
I'm just playing a majong, I said, who are you? Needs she's cleaning them all out.
40 buy in boys.
I'm telling you right now it's deck six has it all going on.
Oh, yeah, they got your buffet and the pearl casino, baby.
That's what I'm talking about.
That's where you'll find me if you're on there.
Come check me out.
I'm be shaking.
I'm up shake.
Really screaming at a blackjack dealer. No, I know
No, scream at the cards. Not the yes, it the dealers giving me the cards at his problem
Little collateral damage
It'll be fun first cruise me and you look at that look at that things work out. I know I buy you a cruise
Now you keep saying you don't like it. Now we're going on a cruise together sure
So maybe this might be the holy shit. I love it
And then you're gonna be you're gonna be going for every rehashing this whole thing
I've always wanted I like the idea of going on a cruise. Yes
So fucking problem then
You gave me one with a deadline that I use in 60 days
You gave me one with a deadline that I'd use in 60 days
Doring hurricane season if I I got your bags pack if I remember correctly get you down there All right, let's get screwing around gang. This is a goddamn family episode
Just the boys the bozos in the homies just the way we like it if you don't know when you sign up for the old patreon
You get a cute rest answered
Oh shit got cruises on the brain when you sign up for the old patreon as you know when you sign up for the old Patreon you get a Q-rest answer flu shit got cruises on the brain when you sign up for the old Patreon as
you know when you okay now yeah let's get it and take it from the top
when you sign up on the Patreon as you know as you know when you sign up on
the Patreon as you sign up for a cruise ship as you know when your question answered on the air. Dude, look, when you get me.
What? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha you could have your question answered on the air. By Tony McMuffins. Tony McMuffins.
Tony McMuffins is all right.
I fixed your Tony McMuffins just like a lounge thing.
Hey, Tony McMuffins, how do you know?
And he's got a life and a kid.
Give it up for the hash browns, everybody.
That's his back.
That's his back.
That's right.
He liked a powder blue suit.
Next one's come with a side of funk.
I hate myself.
Can we 86?
Can we 86 Toby?
We're leaving you with the next port.
I found out.
Do you know the origin of 86?
It restaurants.
Yeah, I mean, it's a term used in restaurants.
You know the origin.
They only had 86 entrees.
What?
It was at the 86's land.
It was on the 86th day when they ran out of potatoes.
No.
Are we close?
We can't get in an 86th now.
Not at all.
What does it pertain to?
Give us a little bit of a clue.
Prohibition.
Prohibition 86th. That was the 86th amendment in the Constitution
That's a big
That was the 86th amendment how many amendments are there 18 now 24 24
Close I don't know. There's three how many amendments I might be thinking stars
It's I think it's it's in the 20 27 27 amendments all right and asked to do with prohibition it was 86 we 86
86
86 that was the signal if the cops are coming
Kind of close okay that was then that it was that was the that was what they said over the radio. Hey, we got an 86 in progress.
They're drinking. Uh, no, it was you don't even know I do. I'm trying to give you the
exact thing because I know you're going to fucking break my balls about it. What's gonna happen either way?
That's my favorite H-Foli move. Throw a fact is way and he goes, I don't know about that.
Sure. Yeah, and then I'm like, I'm like, just have to go, then I have to look it up so I was trying to have my, so I can't find it, which is making me think it's not right.
Just say when is 86 come from? I did, but it just goes back to, oh, there it is.
Okay.
Prohibition error of bar called chumlies.
Oh, yeah.
And chumlies.
In New York?
Yes.
Located at 86 Bedford Street.
I believe.
I'm still be there from that perspective.
I think the door is.
So there was two entrances.
There was the front entrance to the thing.
Uh huh.
And it was, uh, no, all the cops were in on it.
Okay. Right. That they knew it was happening
Love that but they would get a call down like hey, we got a crack down
We're coming in they would call it like whatever stop by and say 86 it and the back at the back exit dumped you out of like
86 Bedford Street. So 86 and then was everybody out the back. Like fucking clear it out.
Look at that, it's stuck.
And that I just saw it on Instagram, whatever that door,
that 86 door still there, like, they keep it.
Yeah, man.
86 it.
86.
The fucking boys are coming down it
because it was a different, it wasn't the local cops.
It was like the fucking
fucking Elliot Nesson.
Yeah, it was the looker control board.
The feds.
They come and they said,
hey, but a fucking the alphabet boys are coming The fuck feds. They come and they said, hey,
but a fucking, the alphabet boys are coming.
And 86 to joint.
Fucking Hoover was coming down.
Cherry tops pulling up yikes.
Yeah, what was their beef with that?
Let the boys drink.
I don't know.
They rolled in thick, Tommy guns and shit.
Political statement.
Let the guys drink.
They work a hard day and they can't come home
and have a fucking cold one.
Fuck is the 1920s.
These fucking guys are dying.
I can't have a little mash.
Whatever they were drinking back then.
Some fucking hooch, some rocking rye.
Let the boys fucking get after it.
That's all I'm saying.
I give it to you.
Kim, let's talk about better health.
Oh man, shout out the better health.
Kim, let me ask you.
You ever feel like you know what's good for you,
but you can't make yourself actually do it?
Nope.
You want good things to happen.
You want a good night's sleep,
but can't quite chase away the racing thoughts.
Nope.
You want to leave your soul sucking job,
but don't have the confidence to take your risk.
Yep.
Talking to a therapist over there,
a better help can help you figure out what's holding you back.
So you finally move forward.
I was jammed up a little bit, couldn't find a therapist
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I did a little better help over there
A little tax a little talk little list little that do it off in the privacy your home home. Oh no own home better help
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I've been using that blender wrong
Boys are getting into the naughty naughty. That's what I'm talking about
Yeah, guys, it's awesome. It's one of those things the holidays are coming up
You're gonna be having people over gonna be over people's house and this is when you can really flex on one of the
Dic egg guzzards
Yeah nice martini shaker they come over they start running there. Yeah, but you're still here. You're like how?
How about I fucking
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Yeah, fucking really show them whose balls.
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Some of them are.
Bet and betting.
Put all that's either here or there like the big man said it's a god damn family.
I'm sure.
All right.
Let's see this one's from Calzone Eddie Homer.
None of a name by the way.
Calzone Eddie is all right.
Edd.
Y double D.
I would call them
Were you an edit an Eddie guy? Oh, yeah, really I missed it
But I always wanted to be because I love the name double D. We have power puffs girl
We what the fuck you say to me?
Were you a power puffs girl fan?
Not really there was another cartoon around that.
They were all drawn like that around that time.
That's just lab and such.
Yeah, yeah.
That's just lab was all right.
Sure, D.D. run around, causes Mavic.
Yeah, he had a dog or something with him, right?
That was smart, didn't he?
Didn't the dog know what was going on?
No, you're thinking of Mr. P body.
Not, I know Mr. P body, you kidding me?
I don't know that is.
Yeah, Mr. Peabody.
Shut up, you.
Yeah.
That's Mr. Peabody?
Oh yeah, maybe I don't know it.
You know what gives me,
what do you know what the press is me when I see it?
What?
Walls and Grommet.
Who the fuck is that?
You know what, you after that?
It's the wrong trousers.
It's the wrong trousers.
It's the wrong trousers.
There was one nerd who grew up with Walls and Grommet.
It's fucking Toby McMuffins over here.
Who's Walls and grommet. It's fucking Toby McMuffins over these Wallace McCromitt
Wallis and grommet it was claymation. Yeah British claymation
I've ever seen gumby when I was a kid like what the fuck is this I can't eat this guy
I didn't like the claymation that made a not made of gum at all. I like the robot chicken though. Oh, the bass.
Yeah, but the claymation, man, just seemed creeped.
No, he was a inventor, right?
And he would invent all this stuff.
Give me a peek.
I am, man, do you talk about creeping you out?
I don't like that shit.
Oh, get the fuck outta here with that guy.
He looks like he's been pulled.
He looks like powder.
Hey buddy, buddy, get some color.
Yeah.
Oh, you go through some spoons or something in the woods.
Yeah, no, that shit was no good.
When I was a little kid for a while,
like the muppets were like popular,
but then there was like a bunch of different
like other production companies
that tried to do shit like that. And they had like, what was the name of that? They were, it wasn't
Zubali Zoo, but it was something weird where they were like monsters. Zubamafu. Now,
what? Now Zubali Zoo had Ben, not Ben Greer. Ben, he, he played, uh, no, he played. It was Will Smith's dad in, uh,
fresh prints though, that episode that he showed up, Ben Verine, Ben Verine, huge star,
like Broadway star singer, dancer, multi-towned, the guy, they had a show called Zubilee Zoo.
You got that? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, HR puffing stuff. That's what I'm thinking. Oh, that guy.
Get the fuck out of here with that. That they were smoking weed. My uncle. My uncle showed me him when I was like, eight, I told my mom, don't let him back over here ever again.
He thought he was going to be like, check this out. I was like, buddy, I just shit myself.
I changed my drawers order the pizza. What do we do?
So last time you babysit me,
Uncle Pat, put on training places in Sydney.
I'll take my eggos now.
I said that to my aunt one time.
Look at my eggos in a Sarah quill,
will you? She's calm, the fuck down.
Get out of here with that HR puff and stuff.
Nah, that shit was frightening.
I said that to my aunt one time she won't let me.
I was like seven or whatever and she was watching me
and I told her, hey, when my mom gets back, you're out of here.
Don't get too comfortable, but I don't like the way
you're running this join.
I went into the fridge, I vaguely remember this.
I went into the fridge, got a box of egg o' waffles, she was like I want to hand up there, so I'll take my I'll take my waffles now
She was like this fucking it's not
Oh fat six-year-old
Fucking India box four o'clock in the afternoon. It was probably dinner time. I
Used to like an yolk for a dint.
Dint.
Ah, man.
It was a picky eater, dude.
Ah, dude.
I like how you knew where they were,
but didn't know how they get hot. Oh, I couldn't get the hair dryer.
I had a lot of use appliances.
I'll be outside catching a smoke if you need me.
Tough break, you helpless brick.
Okay, Crogs.
Then my mom's back, you're out of here.
I did like your guys cartoons a little bit though.
I just really couldn't get too close with them, but they were good. We talking about Doug was all right.
Shout out to Doug Fanny, Pimaio, Roger Klotz, graduated kid, look at Roger Klotz. Was that,
well, you guys, the boondocks, was that your error? Was that more, all right? That was after me.
That was probably more towards him, but that was like an adult cartoon. Yeah, it was for,
it was for teenagers. Yeah, I never got it.
I thought it was great.
Funny. Yeah, geez.
Oh, man, we didn't get to fucking Calzone Eddie's question.
We went off.
Ah, Calzone Eddie, dime bag, homeboy here, $10 homie shout out to you.
Is it garbage to buy a fancy espresso machine and use Nest Quick chocolate powder
instead of actual espresso to make drinks?
Delicious.
That's a heightened,
you're technically doing something classy
because you're clashing up Nest Quick.
You're having a very foofy chocolate milk.
Yeah, hot chocolate.
When I worked at the Greek place,
we had a real expensive espresso machine
and the way they would make chocolate milk
is they had like kitchen chocolate pellets.
You're like used to like melt the shit down,
and they would do it on their espresso machine
in the silver thing that holds the milk.
That we used to fucking,
man, the combinations were endless.
Coming up with everything everything using the instant coffee
with the chocolate and the milk and the this and the that.
Ooh, so I don't know, that's pretty.
It's not clay.
I mean, it is, on the one end,
you're buying an expensive machine.
If that's all you're using a floor that's trashy.
If you're having fun,
classy kitchen club.
And the only thing with that is,
if you got the espresso machine,
what are you doing making the hot chocolate with water?
You do that with the milk.
They might be steaming milk.
No, you said he uses it to,
he uses that instead of the espresso powder.
So that's water.
100%.
I'm reading it the same way as well.
But if you make a shot of it,
and then add the milk.
That's what I'm saying, you add it to the milk.
Okay, I'll give you that.
You're steaming milk. You're instead of the espresso de coffee
grunge, you're using the Nesquick powder. She's only a little bit of water. There you go.
Oh, I'm with you. You know, it would be awesome. You take a little bit of that cocoa powder,
mix it in with the espresso coffee, and then you got a nice mocha espresso.
Now you got a tutor. That's what I call that. I can chuck it like that. Wake you up.
Hello. Make you feel nice. That's all right, though. I respect that. I can chuckle up. Wake you up. Oh, make it feel nice.
That's all right though.
I respect that.
I'll give it to you.
All right.
This one's from two inch stingers.
Shout out to you.
Are you garbage if you washed your body at a coin operated car wash?
Jesus Christ.
I take your skin off you.
You're human body?
Yeah.
You couldn't.
I'm a damn, my parents always said
if that thing hit you, it would cut you.
That's what they say.
The sprayer that does the car.
Yeah, that's not gonna cut you.
I mean, that'd be taking the pain off too,
if it's gonna cut to your skin.
Oh yeah, that's true.
Huh.
I would assume that the lie by Patty.
Yeah, that's the list.
It keep me in the car.
I assume that this is some sort of 30 manual labor job,
where you're, I don't think he's showering before a date.
No, that's a hose off.
He's cleaning off to get in the car like, you know,
before he goes home.
Which I always say landscaping.
I love the hose off in the summer.
Love that last house of the day.
Go in there, get the palm olive
and case you had any poison ivy on you.
Fucking just take your shirt, choose off, off leave your gene shorts on and soak down
You were cool for the ride home. Feel great. Yeah, felt great. I respect that. Yeah, I assume we would do it sometimes
Jumping in the pool right away. Sure of that. I mean, it's not the classiest thing, but it gives you a good
Good whoosh, you know what I mean after a hard day of fucking Libba
I respected this is from H Wilson. H is for. Shout out to you is it garbage use pliers to turn off the bathtub faucet because the knob fell off
I
Mean in a pinch. I'll give it to I'll give you a month to get that fixed
We had a wrench on the hot water for maybe six months one time when I was a kid
Just tightened on there.
Yeah, I'm envisioning pliers with rubber bands to secure.
Yeah, to secure like I said, a vice grips.
That's different. They're classy.
Vice grips are all right, but even just got regular pliers.
Might even just be sitting there and you got to pick it up every time and do it.
That's real dangerous.
Fucking if you fucking strip that and can't get it, it won't turn off or something.
Oh man. Oh
I used to hate that when the thing on the sink would go. There was some things in the foley house old sink here
The kitchen sink here is all fucked up. I think that's just hot water. No, it's a bad mixing valve. I believe
Oh, look at you a mixing valve. Uh three quarter inch or eight by five
That's not a thing, but it would probably domestic waterline running to a fucking sink.
It's probably three quarter in.
No, not three quarter.
It's probably half inch.
Okay.
Quote me on that pull up the New York City fucking code book.
A code, uh, half inch domestic waterline running to one feed and one sink.
Half inch.
Gotta be tall hot water.
Yeah, it's a bad mixing valve. The valve in it isn't combining the hot and the cold. Because if you like jiggle it a
lot or twist, like you can go any way and get hot water with that handle. That ain't
good. Yeah, that's bad. You really got to find this sweet spot for something cold.
And it's really cooking too, man, especially in the winter when that fucking steam's involved
that hot water is burn.
I got something I want to talk to you about.
We were at a hotel recently not in the same room separate rooms.
Okay.
We don't check up.
Um, the fucking, uh, I know you're going with this.
The showers too much.
The shower knobs at like a hotel that's trying to be cool.
Yeah.
What are you doing?
Yeah.
It's like it took me two minutes to figure out how to turn it on,
get hot water out of the fucking hole I was looking for.
What Kevin's talking about is it'll be a shower head.
It'll have the handle thing.
And then yeah, I'll have the, the brush.
There'll be a, there'll be the turning thing will be for all of them
will be on the thing.
The, the, the fucking handheld should have a thing on it where you turn it where you
open that. And I'm going to say this, all you know,
combination of levers and knobs to get it to where you want to go with no
instructions. Yeah.
You're going to have some complicated work on the water pressure.
That's all anybody in a hotel case.
We don't need the fucking handle.
You don't need all that shit.
You need a fucking hot shower in a hotel room.
The next warning after you're all fucked up.
That's what you need.
Something steam there.
Yeah, you don't need that shit.
You worry about all that stuff.
You get the fancy mow in and culler or whatever it is.
Sure.
Shower heads and the fucking water pressure sucks.
It's like you're getting fucking peed on.
They do that up.
I did that last night.
That's not trying to get off the air.
I think they do that to save water.
They don't get the high heat.
It's not, you know, they don't give it up.
They pay something.
Any fucking empire, any fucking civilization
once that water pressure starts going.
It's all downhill.
Downhill.
Priorities are on turl it.
In the turl it, which by the way which by the way one of the air B&Bs we were at
I want to say it was
Where was I in the basement was that San Diego? I was in the basement. No Denver Denver at water pressure
Oh god damn. Oh, I stayed that shower a long time
That's all anybody wants good water pressure. Yeah, that's all anybody wants. It's good water pressure.
Nobody gives a fuck about your rainfall
and the other thing, you know, the hose, the hose is old.
The hose was cool when that was the main thing
and it came off and you could do your ball.
You don't need the side hose.
The ladies like to.
By the way, the side hose now, it's a strip.
It's a line. You know what I mean? It's a rectangle. Yeah. What the fuck?
I don't know
What are we gonna do? Um oh, I don't think I told you I got to figure this out at the house
I got like a water softener or something. You have soft water? I don't know. Did you
look downstairs? Yeah. They would have told you. You gotta say that's up to military school.
I fucking whip him into shape. He's a hard water boy. I'm scared straight. This stuff,
you get out of the shower. It feels like they're still soap on you. Even if you didn't use soap,
that's like I'm like, what are they pumping it in the system? That's off water
Yeah, and they should have told you that because you need to you need to buy bags of salt to keep putting in there
Yeah, there's a there's a there's like a 55 gallon drum with
some sort of
Really?
I'm such a nitty-ditty. I keep going. fucking lemon. Dude, I keep going out. The fuck outta here.
You got soft water, dude.
I'm going to switch to fucking,
I don't think you can.
What do you mean?
No, because the pipes, it's,
I think you have to redo the whole thing.
Tatee bug get on that.
What do you mean?
I think they put,
It's not like old cast iron pipes.
No, I think when you decide you're going to build a home
with soft water or hard water, they use specific pipes. No, I think when you decide you're going to build a home with soft water or hard water,
they use specific pipes. No, it's copper pipe. Okay. You see it? Half inch domestic.
What are you talking about? Just quote it. My mixing valves are working, maybe.
I got a toilet that won't stop running out in the super don't return my call.
Man, it's toilet. You got a running toilet. Man, I can't figure it out.
But that's a flap. Probably not close. Oh, I do
I do I do I know about mixing bells. I know about the flap. He probably got to get the thing redone. Oh,
this something right this thing. Fuck you call you say bolt. Yeah, he ain't stopped running yet. What's the scoop?
I'm not getting any good answers. I get at it at a
Not getting any good answers. I'd get at it. I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll Parents had it in the fucking 80s and 90s may talk about low flow
It was brutal never felt like he had a good shower
It's not that but it ain't great. No, but I mean he's like
Man being a homeowner Jesus, you fucking look at that's the first thing out of my mouth to the toilets running
What's the soft water syndrome?
So I'm never moving to the burbs city water hardest fuck yeah, dude hold on my water would rob your water burn your eyes
That's crazy
I mean if you're just putting salt in it can you just stop putting salt in it?
It's not like they were pulling the water from the fucking core of the earth
It's coming from what all the other houses are getting. I feel like that's something though.
Right. In theory, if I just stop using the softwares.
Why can't you Google, can you stop?
You can, can, I don't know.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I don't know how to word it.
Yeah, the honest of the earth.
Same.
What do you need to do to, I think I just got to put more salt in the bucket.
No, that's bad.
That's making it more softer.
I got to stop putting salt in the bucket. Yes. Yes, what's bad. That's making it more softer. I got to stop putting salt in the bucket.
Yes. Yes. What he said. Yes. How much is in there? Is that a lot in there?
Is it full? You need this just immediately. It says you need to turn the bypass valve to set the
water softener to the bypass mode to stop the supply of salt and water and turn off the water
softener. There you go. I would do that immediately. Yeah, just put it in a bypass mode.
How's your pressure, by the way?
Because of what I think you can usually do this for the,
yeah, I think it's just a valve.
How's your pressure?
It's good.
Is it?
Yeah, yeah, it's good.
I want to redo to head stuff.
Get the heads down.
I'm going to, I'm going to do it to process.
It's a process.
You redo to head stuff.
So when you were buying this house,
did I look at it? Not really.
Yeah, I was just saying, you didn't see like a giant thing of salt and be like these guys
most love pretzels.
It's not labeled salt.
It was a 55 gallon...
Where's a margarita machine?
It was a 55 gallon drum and the basement I thought they had a dead body in there.
I ain't gonna ask no questions that I don't need the answers to.
Who's that the old realtor?
No, I'm kidding.
You guys are good. We'll take it
You wrap it up you leave that ear about the yikes and you think you know a guy all a sudden finally got soft water
Get out of here with love to talk about love love what I'm saying. We're a hard water crew
You're telling me I'm why do you think I wait three months to tell you guys? I didn't have the hard to break it to you
I was a shit your voice crack so bad, you're telling me?
I mean, I'm embarrassed.
I do hear, that's a, well, that's a classy, that's a rich guy thing, the soft water.
It's supposed to be a rich guy thing.
They, they read all the, they read did all of the systems to be like,
crazy top notch high end system.
Yeah, then took the microwave
Don't give me start on that. Oh, oh the poster oven. Um, I heard this house has me jammed up. Sure. I do here. You get used to it
Yeah, I'm used to it, but I don't live there all the time. So when I go I want a fucking
Screamer, but then when you take your take a shower up up pants. It's all the better
Yeah, blasting the low flow about that with those goddamn fucking Polish supers, and they don't like low flow
They open it up. Mm-hmm. Love it the shower at fucking my old place god damn
It was unbelievable you would just stand in there because they get a massage
Steaming up the whole apartment complex.
Loved it.
Huh.
Can't let's talk about this play.
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I'm speaking of showers from CS is a garbage that you gum in the shower
You're too casual if you're chewing gum in the shower
I think I think the other thing I think I think it's the opposite
I think you're too keyed up like you're like really plotting against a thinking done. No, I don't know that's too
Chew and go can't do it. Don't do that. That's too fucking weird
You guys notice this I feel like gum. Do you tell me so I felt
As gum got weaker, weaker in the sense of,
remember when you would chew gum,
the longer you would chew it, the harder it would get,
and the less the flavor would be.
Now I feel like you get to a point
where it's almost starting to break apart.
It does like dissolve a little bit.
Yeah.
What's that all about?
You're just chewing more powerfully. Yeah. No, I don't think that's it. Now I do agree. Some of the guy turns
into like fucking mush. Yeah. Yeah. No, no, no. It starts breaking apart and you get a
thing up in your gum. It's real weird. Is it? Of course, real weird. It's real weird.
Oh, I'm taking a heat. Sorry, I haven't had a good shower weeks. I'm fucking stressed out. Sorry,
Kibbie's blowing apart your gumticks. Yeah. I mean, he got about to stop by me before
we start. If you're gonna, if you're gonna bring up some poking holes in my hypotheses.
I beg you to gang those what I'm talking about
Don't pander don't pander
To me oh
I do I have become a two-obstandard. I'm a two piece It's a piece and less I'm doing that German gum that my wife has airways if you get yourself
You can get your fucking hands on a pack of airways from Germany's even get a chip over
So you know what now that I will take the fucking paint off a car now that I say that I've been chewing that eclipse
I always go for the the newer packaging the the little chicklets ones that are in like the sleeves
I can I understand I like I might go back. Can I know my dick tonight? I'm gonna go on it's like another pack of six
I know it's crazy. It's not y'all I need it the one. I know I'm gonna go and take another pack of sea. I know it's crazy. It's not going to need it to one.
I know.
It's the one that opens up like you're like,
you're opening up a graduation card.
A wallet or something.
You've been accepted to see each.
I insta-
Put your cards in there.
Yeah, Orbits the size.
You're flashing like an FBI agent.
Excuse me.
I'm about to shower here.
Well here, someone's got some real stink breath in it.
I don't, yeah, orbits the size you need.
I'm going back to the Trident.
Little guy, I'll give you that.
I was banged with that last night.
No, remember the Trident, real thin.
Remember the thin, it was like five pieces.
It was almost like, like, you could rip it.
It was, oh, yeah.
That was before cardboard was a bad, That was that's where it was all that
about 10 piece seven pieces in there. Yeah, it was in a line. Give me a look on that old school
tried and packaging because I remember getting the bubble gum and just going through it. Uh,
what about those breath strips? I don't I feel like people put acid on those. I'm not
messing with what the list are in things. Oh man. I did one one time. I've seen people with those recently and they break
Damn out. I'm like what the fuck we were in Austin in the U.S. The Uber driver for gum. He's like I got a breath strap
I was like no no no no he had a breath spray. No, I think it was a stretch because it had the little hoop on it
Oh it was it was that list are in keychains to which you're a bad business man if you got fucking mouthwash key chains
You think I'm gonna let you mace me?
Fuck daddy
uh
crazy
Fuck what was I just gonna say I had a T-bone also see if you can find anything on the the gum wallet I
Had a wallet
Made a gum
What and you would open it up and like I had a wallet made a gum. What?
And you would open it up and like 15.
Remember like the old picture things that would fall down.
You'd have like the like 10 pictures in there.
No.
Oh yeah, oh yeah.
They were dollar bills.
I sheets of bubble gum and man I crushed that thing in a weekend.
My dad was like, yeah, enough of that.
Let me see if I can find it.
The bazooka.
Wait, is it was the actual wallet made a gum too? Enough of that. Let me see if I can find it. The bazooka.
Wait, is it actual wallet made of gum too? I don't think I might have been plastic.
That's pretty sweet.
Dude, Tuddy didn't pay the fucking internet bill?
Internet bill.
Really?
I don't know.
I don't know who's paying.
I don't know who pays us.
I damn it.
Now, I don't know if you're gonna be able to find it.
Yeah, I got nothing on that.
I'd choose the studio. I might have had the only one.
I think I bought it in like an individually owned movie theater.
The only one.
This is one of a kind of sold your fan ass right away.
Yeah.
That was big.
It's a prototype.
Obviously that, I mean, that was a thing.
I remember somebody sold a yard a gum too.
The movie zone and Village Shires, I think it was called,
sold a yard of gum, which is to fucking
three-foot piece of gum.
Is it a stick?
Yeah, like a long, like,
no kid.
Yeah, it was a yard of gum, me and past it
and we chewed it in like six hours.
Yeah, I'd like something like that.
I would.
I'd die I would.
I'd bubble gum is really, it's really,
it's a great thing,
but it doesn't really get a lot of love anymore.
And I think I've said this before, it's a real pain in the ass to try to find sugar gum.
Like to go out to go to a bodega and try to find like a thing of like a, uh, uh, bubble
delicious or something like that.
They don't have that anymore.
They'll do it a little bangers.
Yeah, here it is.
The yardstick of original sour bubble gum, 96 pounds.
Sour.
I like that.
It has a lot of fucking gum.
A lot of gum.
That's good.
I'm going back to the Trident.
Old school Trident, I want to see if it still holds up
or if it breaks apart the way the other shit does.
But also the carrying those packs ain't great.
They'll, they disintegrate quick.
Going in and out the piece, the money,
there's going to be tobacco all over those pieces of gum.
That's the only problem.
That was always one of those pieces of Tr tried at the bottom of Patty's person, but the little
speckles of tobacco on it.
You know, it was classy that my dad used to do.
And he had always take tax in the car.
I like green, winter, green, the light.
But I remember being amazed at the consistency of like,
when he, I never saw them biomed scene,
but they were just always there.
They always had them.
Always two packs.
And it wasn't like he had 500 in the glove box of like,
just, I'm like, damn, to stay on top of that.
Yeah, love a tick-tock, love a search.
Search for a great, fruity search, forget about it.
What's a search?
You don't know what a certs is my stepdad
Was the winter green certs
Eight they were screaming me these those things man. They will put some hair on your little test
Your eyes would be watered. It's like a punch in the nose
My brother would split one on Christmas
Yeah, you don't know sir. Yeah, we're gonna a glistening? C-E-T-R-S
You ever gonna have a simple waterway
you got a search in your mouth?
It's like a teach, yatter.
I remember that first time I figured that out.
Searcher, all right.
And I'll take you even deeper.
They used to have these thing called valiments,
which were awesome.
They had a little dip in them.
They were square and a little dip in them.
We for the older homies and bozos.
That sounds like something that gave everybody
Cole and cancer you don't know you never heard a certs. That's crazy. No, you're 35 years old. I'm 33. They were the two are you 33? Yeah, I am grandpa. Jesus
Jesus Christ was dead and resurrected by your age. You better get cracking
Get the work on time. That's sort of,
confessions of a danger is mine.
I've never seen these certs before.
They are great.
You've never seen certs?
That's nuts.
Some off-brand shit for the seven days.
Not the first to hate.
Listen, I don't want me in with his old days.
Get, get Luke look
There's no way you'd never heard a certain that's great
They were like national brand commercials. Maybe you didn't get down to the back woods of North Carolina down in the body
It's your BC powder. Have you ever heard of these certs?
Never what these fucking kids out of here you never heard of certs couple of young guys like us the one kids home school
The other ones rich come on. What are we doing? True probably at home made ones?
Whoa, whoa, I wasn't home schooled. I didn't go to middle school. No, you never heard of certs
Not once what do we talk? I mean that looks like it's from the 50s. Well, all right
Stop lumping me in with his old days. Yeah, Luke Scott good takes.
No, they were from the 90s.
How about a sucret, every here of a sucret?
That sounds French.
Now they were, they were call flosagers.
They came in like a tin like the way.
Oh, yeah, yeah, it's like, yeah, I do know those.
So how do you know sucret, you don't know certs?
Trying to make me look stupid?
Those are expensive.
No, see rich kid.
What I said, if it's under five bucks
Man you never heard of certs they were alright
Secrets what about life something a fancy name for like pigeon beaks or something they serve at a fancy Japanese
All the secrets for two
What about what about what about a breast saver?
They look like life saver's made a little green dot in the middle the blue dot
Depends on how you banged that's weird. You know those but not sir. Yeah, my brother was big my brother love those in but Naka
Naka man
I can weird crew you are the whole lot of you strange bunch of horse these
lot of you. Restranged. A bunch of horse thieves.
You're not.
Who?
Man.
Anyway, love us, sir.
Sure.
Um, all right.
Let's see here.
The view of more.
This is from Nick.
Uh, Nick Fereno.
That's a nice name.
That's a fucking.
That's an Italian.
It like.
Farina.
Nick Farino.
That's good.
He's the inner non-inner continental
champion. Nick Farina sounds like's good. He's the inner non-inner continental champion. Nick Farino. Sounds like a wrestler.
Yeah, Farino auto body. Oh
That's a waste man. Or Farino's pizza. Oh, that's good. Yeah, Farino and Farino.
Mob lawyer
The wacky that beat the case
That is good search, but it's pretty good.
Um, Nick, for in a sorry, uh, do you call the toilet the thrown or the office?
Oh, yeah, I hate that.
Hit the can.
The John the commode the Lou Commode never Lou had pisser is tough like the pisser
there's the can is the bag and he used the
game Tommy Tommy see on the road all whenever
in the airport before we get on the
plenty always goes again go to the office
I got to get it. I hate it. It's so fucking
whack to me. I hate it. Trash bag. I heard
him. I heard a broad say in a show one time. What?
She was a little boozed up and she's like, all right, I'm gonna. It's uh
Your next I'm gonna light them in three, but I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go to hit the pisser real quick
And I was like yo, duh, it's like I can tighten it up. Will you?
James job. I'm gonna go. I was like a girl can't say she's going to hit the pisser.
Well, she's standing up while she's doing it.
Or she's from Boston.
The pisser.
The pisser.
Sure.
Yeah, but I'm going to the bathroom.
I don't know.
It's just that it's, uh,
I don't know.
It's strange when a girl said shit.
I gotta go take a shit.
Yeah, that's, I mean,
any back being death. I don't also don't say it to my wife. I go take a shit. Yeah, that's I mean any I don't I also don't say to my wife. I got to take a shit a
Tuts up be back in a minute. I think I get I will say if we're out somewhere and I go we're gonna have an issue
That's what I say we're gonna. Hey, let's get the check. We're gonna have an issue. I ain't talking political
I gotta get I gotta get back to the house. This is a home game
Poop I like poop. I gotta poop back to the house. This is a home game. Poo.
I like poop.
I gotta poop.
You gotta poop.
Poop and tinkle, I think, is two good ones.
I always say tinkle.
I gotta tinkle.
Yeah, I don't know.
No, man, grown man saying tinkle.
It's my favorite children's show.
Poop and tinkle.
Two detectives.
Cut that, that ain't bad.
Oh, I was like, I can do both of those voices. You want to let let's write the card, dude, poop and think poop and think.
Look.
Back to back.
Get my shirt.
They have bottles.
All right, let's see here.
This one's from Alex.
First time, long time.
It's a garbage to have a rat in the house.
Catch it and keep it as a pet.
Man, listen, mice in the house,
I'll allow it if you live in the city,
even like the country rural,
because they get in those field mice.
There's two different breeds of mice.
I'll give you that.
Cockroach is even in the city, it happens,
as long as you're not infested,
if you see one once a month, whatever,
that is what it is.
But I mean rats in the house is tough.
You got to be living a rough life with rats in the house.
Okay.
You got to get a terrier.
You got to get something.
Get a cat.
A rat is tough.
I like Toby, you get a go terrier.
Just don't fuck around.
Just get fucking two terriers.
But then you got to deal with those little fuckers are mean.
Oh, dude. Chateraena, friend of the show, posted a reaction to a video Terriers. But then you got to deal with those little fuckers are mean. Oh dude,
Chater Anna, friend of the show posted a reaction to a video that went viral recently of these people
finding like a guinea pig in a field and they go to like release it and the little daughters like,
oh he's gonna be great and their terrier comes through. Just malls this thing. Dude, the golf course
I worked on, they had two of them and these things would fuck you they were
Man they were like the hang man. They fucking rolled the rows like red redemption
What's it called red dead redemption? Yeah, dude was bad news. Yeah hold on
I want to take this into beginning
Okay
My understanding is it is that if you have mice,
if you see a mice or you see a rat,
see a mice, if you see a mouse
or you see a rat in your home,
that means there are at least five more of each.
Maybe more.
Okay.
So I can get the rule on that.
There is a, I think that's cockroaches.
It's like for every one you see, there's never just one mouse.
There's never just one rat.
I see rats, I got no experience with rats, but mice,
there is a, in New York city, there's difference with mice.
I, I think there's mice and,
there's mice and rats in every building.
It's whether they can get into your apartment or not.
Of course.
They're in there.
I, I don't know.
I agree with you.
But like we've had it where like ones come, like, there's a, you can tell in New York
when you see a mouse or if you have a mouse problem.
No, they're in there.
I know.
I'm saying, listen, I'm with you.
You've just disagree.
There's not just one guy coming through the hole.
They hang out inside the, well, but if they come and they look for food and stuff, food
and water, if that, if that's for food and stuff, food and water.
If that, if that's not there for them, they stop coming.
I don't know about that.
It's 100% true.
I don't know.
You ever been to a party where there wasn't enough beer?
You aren't going back to that party, dude.
It's a weak ass party.
That's true, but there's always something they eat the plastic bags.
They eat the furniture.
There's always something for them to do.
But listen, this is, listen, you have your hypothesis and you're not even moving at all on this, or they could just
go to my neighbor's house who are dirt bags and eat there. They're not going to eat a couch
when there's fucking a bag of Doritos to two doors down. You see what I'm saying? There's
always that better option in New York, if they can go get food and water. They got fucking
50 apartments in June. Well, this is what I'm saying what I'm saying is if you say you find a mouse in your house
And you keep it as a pet which I think they're adorable. They're cute
They're gonna be a comfy city mice and rats are dirty. No, not the city mice
They're just trying to make it in the city you never saw fucking this is I American pale
I hate this take you and you're just making it for the show. No, I like a cute little mouth.
They're disgusting.
And you know that they're living in the sewer in trash.
Mice aren't living in the sewer.
Rats are living in the sewer.
You're the...
Tell me there's no, there's no mice in the sewers.
What I was going to say is if you keep...
They're not lab rats.
You can't keep white thing, right?
You're in a phantom.
You can't keep one of them as a pet because the other ones are out there.
And that's like you got their boy.
They're probably coming up and putting their hand
on the glass at night when he's in the tank
or the cage sending kite.
And I got some Rats thatched,
so they'll make your blood run cold.
Rats thatched, man.
There's a, I think I used to have a bit in New York
to like eight to one or 12 to one.
So let me send the kites.
Yeah, flying kites.
What does that mean?
So you said messages in jail. Yeah, it's like a tiny little slips of paper. Okay. Blind kites. What does that mean? That's how you said messages in jail.
Yeah, it's like a tiny little slips of paper.
Okay.
Yeah, I don't like that.
Then they're around waiting for you to make a move.
You fall asleep, they get the keys off your thing.
I'm sitting there sleeping on my feet.
I'm putting my feet up.
Read the newspaper.
Bustin.
Big thing a key's hanging.
Watching the giants on a tiny TV.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think it's eight to one. You think you're key sang in watching the giants on a tiny TV.
All right.
Yeah, I think I think it's eight to one.
And if you do eight million people, I don't like that math. That's 64 million rates.
Go ahead.
Oh, God.
I'm moving.
All right.
So obviously we see one right.
There's more, but but these are like rats are like the terminator, dude.
They have the ability to jump around three feet into the air.
That's dick height, that's terrifying.
Wow.
Four feet horizontally, and then this is nuts.
They can fall from a height.
Why a plane?
They can fall from a height, they don't need a fly
because they can fall from a height of 50 feet
without getting injured.
Yeah, right out your window, chilling.
Mm-hmm.
Uh-oh, yeah.
Rats are no good.
You can't, dude.
The idea of keeping any type of undemesticated rat as a pet is insane.
That thing, that's like,
those things are built like David Goggins, dude.
That's trying to fight you every second of every, it's never going to be your friend.
It's never chilling, it's not happy.
It's just trying to, it's always trying to get out of there.
I knew a guy who had pet rats and he would let them clean his teeth, dude.
Shut the fuck up.
I mean, they could use dental tools.
You said they would let, he would let them clean his teeth.
Correct.
The rat would clean his teeth.
Correct.
With their tongues.
With their hands and such.
The rats are like very, they're actually very clean
and they like clean each other and chill like they're like
kind of like apes.
And so he would let them crawl on his shoulders
and they would go up and they'd fucking clean his teeth.
Shhh.
You hung out with this guy?
Not for long.
I don't even know, I can't look at you the same.
You're hanging out with...
Whoa, whoa, no, no, no.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's a one time thing. That's a one to, oh, that's crazy. I gotta, I gotta, I'm outta here. You're hanging out with whoa whoa no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no I'm not having any. I'm having any. I'm having any. I'm having any. I'm having any. I'm having any.
I'm having any.
I'm having any.
I'm having any.
I'm having any.
I'm having any.
I'm having any.
I'm having any.
I'm having any.
I'm having any.
I'm having any.
I'm having any.
I'm having any.
I'm having any.
I'm having any.
I'm having any.
I'm having any.
I'm having any.
I'm having any.
I'm having any.
I'm having any.
I'm having any. I'm having any. I'm having any. I'm having any. I'm having any. Something he tells you on the first date. No, no, no, no, that came out later. That came out later
Still some's not I don't know I want to like I was like hey if I was a married and I was like hey, I'm dating this girl She has rats that they clean her teeth
You would stop talking to me. Yeah, no yeah
Tell me came just goes to black and let's they do good work. I don't know
Hey, man, very affordable Give you a little toy.
Like over I got braces on.
He's just pull the rats and pull it his head out of your mouth going.
You got cavities to put the leaves.
Stick your tongue out.
How about some floss butt?
Going back in.
A little Rochester.
Grab me a little fluoride.
A little headland photo.
That was the name of one of the rats.
Call a broad.
That's a cute name for a rat the rats. Call of Raj.
That was a cute name for a rat.
That's right.
Um, yeah, we got to wrap it up though, gang.
Man.
You just ran off.
I was gonna think about that rat cleaning the teeth for too long.
Yeah, that's weird.
I'm gonna go home and floss with a rat tail.
Gang, we love you to death and we'll see you next week.
Peace.
PURPACE!