Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Chazz Palminteri: A Bronx Tale
Episode Date: April 15, 2021Kippy and Foley are back with a game changer! Chazz Palminteri redefines the level of CLASS we are used to. It was such a fun episode. Enjoy! Live Shows: https://linktr.ee/AYGLiveShows​ PATREO...N: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage​ https://www.fumessential.com​ https://www.MintMobile.com/Garbage​ https://Stamps.com​  Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/foleygrams/​ Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?
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Hold on there partners before we get this show started
We got a real special announcement from down here at amp to these basement
Uncle Hank and kippy a couple of city slickers are gonna be heading out down south
We're gonna be at Raleigh. Good nights in North Carolina April 20th. It's coming up the next night
We're gonna be in Zaney's Nashville. So get some Tex. Yeah guys. It's gonna be a good time
We're gonna be doing some live stand-up T bones coming with us
And then we're gonna be doing some live a yg with you guys you guys are gonna give us questions
We're gonna be asking you questions. So grab some friends. Come on out. It's gonna be fun
We're gonna be shitting on your stupid uncle Ted or whoever comes your buddies your buddy Steve who's an asshole
It's gonna be a good time. I'm correct. Don't be showing up with sneaks and no socks on we're gonna rip on you
We're gonna we're gonna be having some beers. We're gonna be taking some pics. We're gonna be hanging out. We'll see you there
Now let's get the show started
Welcome to another exciting edition of are you garbage?
the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or
Absolute trash now here are your hosts Kevin Ryan and H. Foley
Hey
Everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast
This is our you garbage a show we sit down with our guests to determine whether they're group to be classy or to
Just a big old piece of trash. I'm your hostage Foley coming at you on a beautiful day
We're down here at Aunt Toody's basement. She is not here. No, I had the guy put her on a casino bus
I got her out of town if she knew who we was coming in. Yeah, there'd be panties getting thrown at the guy
It'd be extra large panties getting thrown at the guy couldn't even have it
I didn't want to embarrass us. So she's down at the Bergata for the weekend on our dime
Put it on your credit card. Thanks. So we got that out of the way my co-host is coming at you from right next to me
He is the CEO of are you garbage? He's really an international businessman when you when you get right down to it
He's got his toes and a lot of pools around the around the globe sure Kevin James Ryan everybody. Hey gang
Thanks for tuning in as always, please make sure you rate review subscribe on itunes a full video available on YouTube
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It's a good time. Oh, yeah, check it out gang and how about a nice shout out to our producer extraordinaire the magic man
He keeps us looking good. Give it up for T-Bone McMuffin Toby McMullin everybody. What up boys T-Bone
I'm so excited and nervous at the same time we vacuumed before he got
Before he got here and star power gang
We could not be more excited to have our incredibly incredibly incredibly special guests here with us today Academy Award
Nominated yes, not the usual bums. We have walking through this dump. All right
This gentleman has appeared as an actor in 78 films and television shows
Some to mention would be of course a Bronx tale bullets over Broadway the usual suspects Mulholland falls
Hurly burly. I night at the Roxbury
Analyze this Stuart little down the earth running scared a guide to recognizing your Saints modern family
He's gonna be in the new law and order organized crime and he's gonna be in the godfather of Harlem coming out
Okay, he also owns multiple restaurants. He has his own show called the Chas Palman Terry show ladies and gentlemen
He's got five fingers, but he only uses three
Give it the fuck up for the one the only mr. Chas Palman Terry
Thanks for coming in
You know, I love the show I watch it, you know
And I just laugh because you know, I grew up with a lot of garbage
So I said are you gonna I said what a great show that is so thanks for having well the way the way we look at it
All right now, of course, you know, everybody wants to know are you garbage if you are I'm not gonna say it
All right, but I guarantee you're not so we're kind of looking at you as more of a barometer of class
Yeah, well, I appreciate that. Yeah, you're a very classy guy. You carry yourself very well. Thanks
You know what I mean very well put together all the time
I don't know too many people that look better in a suit than you
I wear suits a lot
But I get this feeling every time I put on a suit, I feel like I want to slap somebody
Before you got here, I said that when he slapped someone in a suit
Nobody else looks as good as him slapping somebody
As soon as I put on a suit people go, I get nervous. I think you're gonna slap me
Well, I can always feel you like yeah, like tight on the cover on bottom. I'm like whoa
You should have your own version of cameo where people hire you to smack people around
You give me you put on the suit and you give me a little bit of a smack
Yeah, you know, I gotta be honest with you
I'm I'm legend for I do I teach master classes and I'm legend for not women of course men
I'm legend for if an actor can get the right mood or you can't do it
I say look is it a right if I do whatever I want to do give a smack. I'm legend for smack
That's true
100% believe it. I'll smack with the best of my hand to God. I'm not kidding
I'll smack him and I say and he'll go. I go. All right. Now. Do the
I go now do the scene again. Come on
You know in Bronx tale that scene with a little when I'm smacking him and that scene when he's up
You know, he couldn't get it, you know, and I turn to the narrow and I said Bob
You know, we we filmed like four or five takes. I said he's still not there yet. So Bob says I said Bob
I gotta do what I gotta do. He goes. What's that? I go, let me let me just do it. I do it up
You gotta and I said come on bam, and he went I went come on bam, bam, and he was like
Bam, I said never mind why just say the fucking words
20 minutes over lunch
Let's go and because I said Bob just keep filming they kept filming. Yeah, I said say the fucking he was a sonny
I'm sorry son. You started and he got past it
But that was the only way, you know, he was young, you know, he's young actor. Yeah, and he's terrific actor
But sometimes you got to get you know, you got to get a little rough
But the fear of God in him, you know what I mean? That's funny to think if you told him to Nero
Hey, let's go take a walk. No, I just said Bob said do what you got to do and I said, okay
Here we go. Yeah, you're also one of the very few people in show business can call deniro Bob
Yeah, and it's so the only one that can do it. Yeah, everybody else is trying to be like you when they here's the deal with
People who really have Bob's friend call him Bob. Yeah people who are his family
Call him Robert people that claim to know him, but don't know him call him Bobby
So whenever you give away whenever you somebody go, hey, tell Bobby I said hello, you don't fuck
You don't fucking know him. Hey, you know me and me and Bobby we grew up together
They don't fucking know some 25 year old says that yeah, we grew up together
Yeah, yeah, I I had always thought and that's why I would like to you know
You're upbringing is well documented like we said, yeah
I'm curious about the years right before Bronx down because I had thought just you know naturally when I was younger
That it was like you came up with like deniro and Pesci
Well, I studied I was ten years younger than right, okay
So they're older than I am when I was at the active studio don't forget Al and those guys were ten years
They were ahead of me. So I was always behind them. Mm-hmm, you know, but I
I
Started in films 30-something years ago. So I I made a lot of movies with Al with with with Bob
I made four movies with Bob. So people do put us together
But I was 10 year I'm 10 years younger than those guys and you were like you were like a proper like struggling working actor
Yes before yeah, I had a Broadway credits before that but I you know, that doesn't mean anything when you go to Hollywood
Fuck about that. You know, you got to have you got to be a star. You got to be somebody, right?
You know, that's the way it was. So, you know, it's okay. That's crazy. So
That that that was the whole thing that I want to focus on. So you were in New York City as like a working actor
Oh, yeah, I was I was well, you were a little bit older. I was older. Yeah, I mean, I didn't make it till I was
Well, I was 39 when I made it when Bronxdale hit Bronxdale hit. Yeah, and you did that on your own, right?
Yeah, I mean, I'll tell you, you know, I'll tell you I'll try to make the story
I was working as an actor going on
But then I also worked as a doorman at a club 1982 called the limelight, right?
I think I think I might have worked with somebody that my brother knows a friend of our family guy named Phil frack
Phil frack is any you remember got him Phil frack is any the name sounds familiar. Okay?
Yeah, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Fuckin 19 calls I got mention mention Phil frack. Oh, I said hi
Yeah
Don't feel I said hi. I wanted to I went to a restaurant once this guy goes jazz throws his fucking arms
Right and my wife is probably right and the first thing he says he goes. How's your mom and dad?
So that threw me I said, oh shit
Somebody yeah, I go no, they're great. Yeah, he's totally because I go. Yeah, this is my wife
Oh, how are you?
He goes and he turns to do the pay people to take because we grew up together meanest guy, right?
Meanest guy will like best friends, right?
And I saw he goes he goes, you know my cousin. He sold that Corvette. He kept for years. I went really how much you get
I
Tells me I go. Whoa. Oh, I finally made I'm talking about his cousin. I don't know who the fuck this guy is I
Walk away my wife goes. Who is that? I go, honey? I have no idea
We're going away next weekend with them pack the bags
But you're right, you know, you just be nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course
I thought that was gonna be guaranteed from from how much pushback I got from my family
I'm telling you, he knows him. He knows him. He knows him. I don't make me look better say
I mean, you know, it's it's 35 40
Yeah, you know, people go jazz, you know, I get people come over me you do Broadway show you walk out
He signed autographs, right? I come out and the guy goes jazz
Jazz I go. Yeah, he goes. Why you don't remember me. I go
I'm sorry. He goes brother day gets class eight grade
I
Like excuse me. It was yesterday. You're a hundred pounds more. No fucking hair
Not little Timmy anymore. Okay, exactly. Yeah. No, anyway, okay. I go on his rinse
But it's also that just thought like everybody once you get famous everybody goes. I know
You're not going. I know Timmy from St. Bobby's. Yeah
Everybody remembers you you don't fucking remember everybody else jazz. It's me. Oh my god, Timmy
Timmy look at you. You still fucking driving a bus
So I was in in New York working as a as a doorman bodyguard for this guy
Pedigation who won the limelight because I used to box, you know, my father was a professional. Are you a big guy?
Bigger guy or just yeah, I mean, yeah, how I am. What do you want to get slapped around?
For my code
You know, you just met me you're not my fucking friend
So start smacking you around
Anyway, no, so I was working about his body, you know, guys, you know box and whatever so what happened was
He finally said, hey, you know, I want you to run this club in
Chicago and I said no, I want to go to LA and try my luck there
So I said he won't you offer me like a lot of money to manage this club plus having bring the car
I said no fine me so I could go to LA and collect unemployment. This unless I was
I went to LA. I like as soon as I got that boom. I got a Hill Street Blues couple of those shows
I broke down a couple of those Hill Street Blues Madlock Dallas, right couple of Peter Gunn a miniseries
And I was doing okay, you know, okay, okay
Yeah, but then I ran out of money again like in about two years later
I was holding that money and I ran out of that. We all know the deal
They were going through it right now
So I said, well, I'll start working as a door again, you know, as a you know, do I mean
So I worked at this real swanky club and I was doing well there to supplement my income is it was auditioning and then one day
I'm at the door. Now, there's three things you can never do to a bouncer three things
You'll never get in the club if you and if you do one of these three
If you do one of the fingers and you're scaring us
Here are the three things guys. The first thing is you never say the words. Do you know who I am?
Yeah, of course, you're done. You say that to a guy in the door. Fuck you. You're not getting
What I always say is yeah, if I knew who you are you'd be on the fucking list
You know, you'd be in there dancing, right? That's what the second thing is you never grab the rope never like grab the velvet rope
Yeah, that's like, yeah, and the third thing is you never get in his space
The door man's face this guy walks over grabs the rope gets in my face and says, do you know who I am he broke all three rules
So I broke all three ribs because he said I'm late don't you know and I said I'm sorry
So yeah, so then I said something really smart in he goes. I'm telling you do you know who I am then I finally said yes
You're the guys not getting into
Look to me said you'll be fired in 15 minutes. What it's what he said to me
I'll never forget it. He made a big ruckus people went inside. They called the boys the boys came out and went Swifty and
I went Swifty and I heard I heard the name Swifty
It was Swifty lasar now you guys are too young Swifty lasar was the biggest agent in the world
In entertainment in the world and I me an actor just told
He looks at me 15 minutes later, I'm fired
Fired the boys said I love you man. I love each other, but he has he goes that was his party
You were keeping him out of his own party. I said, oh shit. So I said look you've been good to me
I said to the owner. It's okay. Don't worry about I got it back into my
1972 Honda Civic with the fucking
But that dent in it with the water leaking. I got back to my shit apartment. I got it to the I sat down there at the edge of
My bed. I see I saw this little thing. It said the saddest thing in life is wasted talent
It's a car that my father gave me and he's the one who said that my dad
I looked at that. I said, you know what if they won't give me a fucking
pot I'll write one myself
So I went to thrifty drugstore and threw a boulevard at that time
I got five tabs of yellow paper and I started said what am I gonna write about
I said I'll write about the killing that I saw when I was nine because I always thought about
I said and I'll talk about my father and sony the wise guy
And how the difference
Influenced me growing up. So I wrote like five minutes
About five minutes of it and that monday
I got fired on a saturday that monday. I performed it on at my theater workshop
So I did exactly what you guys do it comedians
What I put I got up there and I started doing the monologue and acting some of the scenes
And out of the five minutes, I kept three minutes
And then I wrote during the week another 10 minutes that are not 10 minutes the next week
I kept four more minutes and I did that for a year
So at the end of almost a year, I had 90 minutes
Of shit that worked, you know, yeah
When you wish that process, right?
So I said shit. I got 90. I got I got this one man's show. I said I said it
But I never did it all it's an entirety yet like to get I did 40 minutes 20 minutes
And finally I said I got to produce this thing. So I called my friend pedagation up
And I said peter I always wanted to be in business. I said, uh, could you send me some will you like to invest in a play?
I go, it's not a movie. I know you want to be in movies, but this is a play. He goes. Let me think about
I said, okay next day knock on my door. I opened the fucking door
This guy standing there. He goes, you're trying to find out. I go, yeah, I signed here. I signed here
He gives me a um fedex and I open it up and there's like
$40,000 damn in cash or a check. No, no, no check. Okay. I was like, what the fuck?
40,000
All the fives and tens
So I got it. It was a check for like 40 g
So I call him up. I said peter
I said, you didn't even read it. You didn't even know what he goes. You know, I saw you in a couple of plays and
I believe in you. You got talent. That's awesome. There's that. It's amazing. I get the 40,000
So I produced the play myself
I put it up
Fuck bam. I fucking Korea just fucking exploded
There was a guy that we're talking about it so much a guy from the la times went to see it
And he just raved about it. You know, it's one of those reviews your mother would write. Yeah
Incredible genius whatever, you know, he said he's incredibly never been done before it is a one-man show
But see I did a linear story. I just didn't drink water and didn't do an act
I did a movie on stage by myself
And so everybody was coming to see it
Nicholson came Pacino came
Every director came every producer came. Are you shitting your pants at that point when you're the like when they're like dineros out there?
No, no, well, he wasn't there yet 60 seat theater. We had a move to a 300 seat theater with so many people
Still I was selling out
They offered me I get a phone call at my house. It might dump me apartment
$250,000 from the first studio that called I got $200 in the bank
$250,000 I said, well, yeah, but I want to play sonny and I went all right, excuse me. They said
Look guy, you're great. You're terrific
Let the professionals take over for me. It's like Heisman. Yeah
And so we want a number one guy to write the screenplay. We just want to buy his story. I said, no, it's my fucking life
I say no
Three weeks later
$500,000 they called back
Five what I would have to oh god. I got
$200 in the bank no money
$500,000
Play selling out, but the money that I'm getting I'm paying peter back and I'm paying my people there, right? Right?
I'm making no money
Finally, I signed with the William Morris at the time
And I signed with them great agency fantastic agency as a matter of fact shout out
Let me tell you something about William Morris. I'll tell you
ICM
CAA and William Morris were all after me chasing me a week before Brock still I couldn't I wasn't all out on the block
Okay, now they're all chasing me. So finally I call up William Morris
and I say look I said I can't
Uh, this is before while this is going on. I called him up. I said, look, I can't make the meeting today
I have to this is a side story. I they say, why can't you make it? What happened? You signing with somebody else?
I said, no, no, no, my car is overheating because I had a hole in the radiator and it was slowly overheat 72 honda
72 honda
It's working. That's like yeah, it's like the hollywood story. It's working comic shit. You gotta exactly
So they go, uh, stay right there. Don't move. We'll we'll get right back to you. I'm like
Liko and I'll take my age. Liko and fred west. I'm a fucking great guys, man
They fucking
I always I get a knock on the door. I open the door guy goes you charge. Probably I go
You got another 40k. What's going on? I'm excited, right?
Every time every time I see these guys something happens
He goes come with me. I go where you going? He goes come with me. I go dance there. I go into the fucking
Parking lot now you remember, you know, I'm with all broke
actors
He goes
I look and I see a 1989 brand new Cadillac, El Dorado
Black black saddle interior gorgeous. He goes. Here's your keys. William Mars got this for you. Don't be late for the meeting
Damn
New caddy. Holy shit
Are you fun? I'm like, what?
What what am now my car is right next to the Cadillac smoking?
So
This girl comes over to me smoking
This girl comes over and she goes chaz. Holy shit. Everybody's coming out. All these
All these perks come back. People are coming out. Chaz, hey
I said no, I just got this car. So she goes chaz I I need a car
She goes, can I have this one? I said, well, I yeah, she goes, how much you offer it? I said, uh
How much you got? She goes 40 bucks. I go good deal
Sold the car for for $40
Right got in the fucking
But then I called them if I said, hey man, I didn't decide to sign with you guys yet
They said no, it's all right. We leased the car for two years
If you sign with us great, if not, it's yours
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What damn this is how bad this how crazy it was. It's not nuts or what I signed with them
Yeah
So anyway, get back to the thing everybody's coming everybody's coming. So finally I signed with them. They say we got another meeting to go to
I said, all right, they take me to this other meeting big studio
Guy has a piece of paper right here. We sit down 12 people sitting down. Let's forget it got a piece of paper
He's holding a paper. He slides it over to me goes chaz
We know what's going on in hollywood. Everybody wants this
We'll tell you something right now if you sign that paper
You'll have a check tomorrow for $1 million
I'm sweating right now thinking about that. What do I say the first thing out of my mouth? I say
Is there a bathroom here?
So he goes, yeah, there's an executive bathroom right there. They give me the key. I walk over I walk out
I go into this beautiful executive bedroom and I'm by myself in it
I'm taking deep breaths a million dollars, right? $200 in a bank. I could help my mother father who never had money
I could help them. I could really course. It's not just for you anymore. I'm not married. I'm single. So it was okay
So finally I I look at the thing
I put my hand in my pocket and for some reason I put my
The card with me a football. I don't know why I took the card the other thing in life was wasted
So I put it back. I look in and I go
I wash my hands but wash my face. I look at him here and I go
Fuck it
And I walk back out and I say to them. I said look
I'll sign that paper
And I could see the role like oh god. I said but
I play sunny and I write the screenplay
And the guy just went like this
Ah
He said chazz chazz
We can't make a movie with you in it. You're a wonderful actor
But nobody knows you he goes. We can't make a movie. We have to make it with a star
We can't make it with you and I said, well, I'm sorry. I said I can't do it
So I said that meeting's over. I guess I stood up by two way. I'm not gonna hyperventilate my two agents are looking at me
Like what the fuck give us give us the car back
Yeah, you just cost me a hundred k. What the fuck right chazz guy stinks. I stood up
I stood up and they said they walked out with me
No, as I'm walking out the the guy goes the head of the studio says hey chazz
You know, uh, this movie won't get made
Just like that. I said, you're right. It won't
With you
But it will get made and he goes what makes you so sure
I said because it's too fucking good
Nice
That's what I said. I love it. That's what I said. I'll never forget it my hand to god
And I walked out with my agents and they're looking at me like there's fucking guys. He's nuts
Yeah, right. I started doing the show again
crowds kept coming all these big producers kept coming
Bert Reynolds came Ray Scharke came everybody they all wanted to play sonny
And all these big writer directors wanted to direct it finally
I'm there and I get off the stage and all of a sudden they say to me
Robert De Niro was in the dressing room. He just saw the show. He's waiting for you. Oh, fuck
In the room in the dressing. He's waiting in your dressing room as soon as I got off stage
They said he he left he left right when I started clapping and snuck in and got into my dressing room
And I said I said De Niro was in the dressing room. He said, yeah
Have him thrown out
I gotta decompress so I walk in I walk in I walk in the dressing room. He's sitting in the corner
And he goes, you know the way he does it and he goes, um
That's the fucking
That's the greatest one man show I ever saw he goes. That's a movie. You did a movie. I go. Yeah, he goes
How'd you do that? You know, he was really very nice. So he goes
Listen, I'll tell you what I want to do. This is that fucking nuts. I was
That's a million
I said, I said, I know what you're going to say
I said, but I just want to know he goes, I know what you're going to say
No, I know
I know do you know
Just sit on for 45 minutes. I'll tell you
No, I know what you know. No, no, no. No, you fucking tell me
He goes, look chance if you sell it, they're going to come to me anyway
He goes and I know you don't want to sell crazy. Yeah
So he says but
If you he goes you play he goes you'll be great as sonny, right and you write it because it's your life
It'll be honest
He goes, I'll play your father
And I'll direct it and we'll go partners and if you shake my hands, that's the way it'll be
I shook his hand
That's how it happened. If you shake my hand, that's the way it'll be man. That's some cold shit right there
That's fantastic. Yeah, that's and that's what happened
So that's all the problems of like saying that they needed to have like a star attached to it to sell
He was playing my father. Yeah, he said I'll play your father you play sonny and I'll direct it
So there was the star power right now, then he can go like this is what we're doing now. Yeah, wow
And as soon as he he came on board and signed the studio went jazz is going to be great
Chats I wanted you for this the whole time. It'll be better. It'll be honest
Was it not the same? Was it the same studio?
Was it the same studio that you had the meeting with a million dollars different studio? Yeah
Holy fuck, you imagine that
Dude, it's insane dude. I was I was I was nervous that whole entire time
I know it worked out well, and I'm like I'm still like oh what happened
This is after now. This is after I got a deal right one of the studio guy heads come over he goes
But it'd be great with you. This is one of the guys, right? Listen. See, I'm a I've been in Hollywood for 40 years
He goes, you know why I love your writing chance
he goes
He's going like this
He's putting it in my face like he goes your writing. It's this it's I go
I'm sitting there trying to keep a straight face. I want to tell the guy to go fuck
He goes, you know what this is jazz. It's dirt. He goes your writing is full of dirt. It's real
He goes, it's not like he goes. You ever see a souffle? It looks beautiful. You open it up
Get a fork put a hole in it got nothing inside
And I'm saying myself
Your writing is great. I'm saying myself
Okay, yeah, I appreciate that
Meanwhile until the narrow came there was no fucking way. I was doing this, you know, I mean sooner or later
I think something would have happened because I wouldn't sell it
Wow, that's that's uh, you know, that was the deal man. That's insane. That's a wild fucking story
I know and and like you said you weren't y'all. I mean you were you were 39 39
39 to Peterson 39 years old no money in the bank. No health insurance nothing
Nothing
But I said fuck it. So what you what year exactly was that in 1989?
So this is 89 89 so then the movies the movies shot and what you shot at
Shot it in 93. I had a wait. We had a wait
Well, I came to new york then in 90 to do the play again in york and it was a big hit here to do it on broadway
No off-roadway. The first time was off-road. Okay, and uh, bob just said look
I want to do it, but I have these movies lined up, you know, you get the narrow. That's the only death and you got to wait
You know, he's not going from job to job
This is 1989 that you had that you had this encounter with deniro 1989
So goodfellas still hasn't even come out yet. No goodfellas hasn't come out yet. Holy shit. Nothing
I got these other couple of things I got to do. Yeah
So goodfellas and it was a whole bunch of things you had to do
But he said I give you my word. We're doing this. So I just did other things, you know
You know, I did osco with saloon and I kept doing some I didn't I got a mini series
You know, it was good, but
But then if the fucking bronx tail hit, I mean that's a fucking game changes now
Brox tail bam fucking explodes
Usual suspects next
Academy award nomination bull. So that's what I'm saying. I've been on a fucking I've been like
I've been in the zone for 30 years
You know what I'm saying? So that was like my big break. It was crazy. That's that's the thing that I wanted to say was nuts
So 93 the bronx that comes out less than two years later academy award nominated. Right. It's fucking insane
insane
Crazy, it's not wild fucking story inspiring story
Tell Swiftie whatever his name is the fucking break a hike. Yeah, right. Well, he died not too laugh at that
I never got a chance to say thank you
You know, you know, no, but he you know, he was an asshole. I have to say
He was nasty and he was an asshole and he he got me fine
But you know what? It was the best thing that ever happened
Yeah, is there any celebrities that you had the you know when you were working that you had like straighten out or
Or you know, not let him in or anything like that. Were they acting like assholes? Yeah, but I don't yeah
Okay, there was
The fuck there was a celebrity, I'll tell you the story
Yeah, yeah, I didn't think he was gonna start saying names
But I will tell you the story
I won't tell you who was there was a thing where the sky was on Broadway very famous actor
And I'm working the door in 1982
And he comes over to me and he and it's really cool
I had this big Kamali coat on with a scarf and I'm standing there like this, you know
And he starts yelling at the fucking I think he was like, I don't want to say he was like coped up. Yeah drunk something
And he starts yelling at the door man. It was a really sweet guy, you know nice guy
And he starts yelling at him fucking put his finger in his face
And I said hey, hey, take it easy and he said and who the fuck you think you are with your scarf and your coat
I said, who am I trying to guess who?
I grab him by the fucking collar. I put him up. I said, I'm gonna dent your fucking chest
Two bounces
And they dragged me to help me and they said, you know who that is and I went, oh shit
And yeah, then they straightened it up. She has not good with faces and names
But then
Five years later
I'm at a big event in a tuxedo and who fucking sits right next to me
He does he does he recognize probably not. Yeah. No, I never said a word who was on the moon at that time
Imagine that I told my wife. She goes don't say a word
I said, oh, he doesn't know
I said first of all, he was so fucking. Yeah, that wasn't probably if he's that if he's doing that
That doesn't happen just one time to guys. I realize I shouldn't say that story if I'm not gonna say who it was
Yeah, don't matter. I'm not gonna say who is but that's yeah, I should have said that
I just wanted to hear a story about you smacking somebody around
That's all you cared about. Let me tell you I had a fucking story. I could tell you my bounce of stories
It's a quarter of four, right?
I'm there all of a sudden I wish we closed it four o'clock, but this is the this is the limelight. This is this is this is
This is the height of it. This is the height. This is the eight. This is like that's the height of clock. It was studio 54
limelight. Yeah. Yeah, so I'm there and also it's a quarter of four. It's 20 dollars to get in
So
Now I gotta I gotta be politically corrected here these two little people. Okay, come the little people. Yeah, you know
Do they it's an incorrect say midget. I guess it is they're little yeah, I think little people
They like little people. So they're very they were nice. They come up
She has a gown on and he's got like a tuxa
And they come walking over to me and you know, I'm cool, you know any guy goes
Two, please. How much is it? I go I said, you know what it's
It's quarter to four. I said we're not letting anybody in. Yeah, we're closed. I said there's no sense to let you
Are you he goes are you racist?
Are you a prejudice against little people?
You're embarrassed that we and he starts fucking yelling at me
And I'm saying no, so you're wrong. I'm six for for fucking four
I said, no, you're wrong. I said it's just that it's a quarter to four. We're not letting anybody in
We're not letting anybody in. I don't want you to pay 20 dollars in 10 minutes. I don't we're closing 10 50 minutes
I don't I'll kick your fucking ass. I said what?
I wanted to pick him up like a small dean
So I said, you know what fine
I said, okay, you got your way charge them hair price. Yeah, I just meant charge them hair price
Yeah, he thought I took it as an insult. He took it because we're small charge us hair
He goes, you're making because all the bouncers started laughing when I said that
You're making fun of us. Charge me hair price. I'm a man. I'm like, holy
No, I was trying to give you a break a price. I'm trying to give him a break. Now I'm saying to myself
I'm gonna lose lose. Yeah, if I kick his ass
That's bad. He kicks your ass. It's even worse. He kicks my ass
We're really in trouble. You're in bad shape. Bobby's out if you get your ass kicked. If he bitches me out, I'm in trouble
So I just shut my mouth and they walked out. Oh, that's great. Holy shit. All right. All right, let's switch gears
Let's get into some questions. Let's play some are you garbage?
All right, so we're gonna ask you a series of questions to determine whether you're trashy or not
We know you're not gonna be yeah, I think I mean this guy's all class all class. All right, go ahead
Um, you want to take take the lead there big guy? Uh, yeah, so we're gonna kind of we're gonna kind of start with
You know with now where you're living now in a situation. Yes, what's the name of the grocery store that you go to?
Did I go to now? Yeah, or do you go to the grocery store? Uh, yeah, it's uh, I go to this place called
Uh, Bedford gourmet. Oh, that's fucking nice. I've never heard of it, but it sounds fucking classy
That ain't a discount place. I'll tell you that
Oh god, no
You said that was like a hideout or something like that. No, when you go to you gotta get a co-signer
I can smell the bread from here. Yeah, that's a classy play. That sounds right. Yeah, these are the things we're curious about
I go there and I go to graffitis. You do. So you you go yourself. What's it? Well, yeah
Normally who would go my wife goes or you know
Somebody
But I could see you at a graffitis. No question. No question. Yes
Yelling at the bag boy or something. I said the eggs on the top
All right
Can't be um, all right at your house now currently did you do you guys wear your shoes in the house?
Oh
Wow, I I don't
No, we
Some some my wife does I don't I like to take my shoes. Yeah. Yeah. That's the way to do it
Is it a rule like if we came to the house? No, you can leave your shoes on. I don't like I don't like that
You got to take your shoes off. I don't like telling people that. Yeah, there's a nice rug outside. You wipe it. It is fine
Yeah, yeah
Well, you take your shoes off if you go to someone else's house if you go for dinner and they're like, hey, we're a shoes
All family are you going? What the fuck? I I I take it. Well, if I'm having dinner at the house, probably I'm never gonna be there again
I'll do it that one. Yeah, that one time. I'll appease you this time. I'll appease you this time
You know, I'll do that one time. So yeah, I try to be nice about that
Uh, where do you get your haircut now?
At home. They do it at the house. They come to the house
That's the classiest way. Oh, it's class right now. What do you tip on a haircut?
Well, she comes I just give her she just give her whatever it's hers. Yeah, you know, she just charges me
It's like a private thing. She comes to the salon comes to my house and I pay and she gets paid very well very well
Because when she cuts my hair she does my wife everybody gets the whole
If my son is home, he'll get a haircut. I got you. That's the classiest answer. We've gotten so far
That's filling it in the house by far and away. I have never I have never been to a bar, but probably
Where people are no about 30 years
Always they come to the house always come to the house. See we got to get on that. That's we got to get somebody coming here
Oh, that'd be nice. Yeah, come in here. Yeah, we could do that. We could do that
Yeah, you could do that, man. Are you a toaster family or a toaster oven family?
Do you have a toaster oven or a toaster in the house? We have both. You have both pretty good
This guy's all glass. I'm telling you keep the toaster out or do you put it away after you get the toaster is out toasters out
No, when you say the toaster oven, no, we have a confection oven, which is a microwave oven, which is on top. Oh, yeah
I don't even know what that is. Yeah, it's classy. It's you you can't afford it. Let's leave it
You don't have to worry about that until we make some more money. What's the oven? Is it a viking?
Yes, it is. Yes. How about the fridge sub-z? Yes. Holy stainless steel. Yes. Oh stainless steel
Yes, no, it's aluminum siding
God damn it kippy
Sub-z and viking. Yeah, we're doing we're sitting here with jazz guys, but let me let me be clear. I didn't grow up with it
We know. Yeah. No, we know. We know that's why we love it. That's why yeah, yeah, 32 one bedroom in fucking LA
Driving the fucking there's 32 Honda. We know that's also what we celebrate when we do have people on are making money
It's a struggle so long. Yes. Now you get to reap the benefits of working, you know for 34 struggling. Yeah, we're not the irs
Yeah
Yeah, I got an oven. I'm not looking for receipts. Chad. Oh, yeah, I got an oven. It's not that expensive
It's in the driveway. It's weird. I'm hoping things turn around. Oh, that's fantastic. What about in the garage in the garage
Do you have a refrigerator in that garage? Yes. Yeah, you do, huh? Yes
And inside you got sodas and all that stuff. Yes big thing on the podcast is the garage garage for a big garage fridge
Big garage for popsicles for the kids beer soda sure, but I also have a like a walk out like a big fridge for other things
Yeah
No, I like I'm one of those prepper
I like to have like this big fridge with all food in it and you can walk you got a walk
Okay, wait, did you say you're a prepper like a doomsday prepper? No, no, no, I just like to have food ready to go ready to go
Wow, really? Yeah, it's pretty good. Yeah, water food everything. I like it. Yeah
That's really. Yeah. Listen when the pandemic you couldn't go to store in the grocery store. Yeah, you were ready
Fucking chads is doing meatballs
Guys, we're good. He's fucked up the grill. I'm gonna buy people over for fucking dinner
Toilet paper really check this out
Oh, you got it. Oh, yeah
Really? Yeah
That guy does it right man. Oh, yeah
Stocked up and ready to go. How long could you last in your place?
If everything shut down
You're cruising for what months a year years mean as far as food and water is everything like that
A long time. Yeah, it's pretty good. Yeah, I would say a long time
I even have I have my own I have my own power to my own generator if something goes wrong. I saw the grid. I love it
If something goes wrong that I could I mean as long if I could fill it up again
I can go a month without any power really something goes wrong. I got about 38 minutes
And I'm fucking dead
If I can't find the cvs to get my next exam, I'm in trouble
I need an aspirin. Hey, you know, but I'm super fanatical with that. I love it. Yeah
Now, where does that come from? I don't know my dad was very ocd and he was like always be prepared
Always be prepared about that. He kind of put it in my head, you know
Whenever I drive to a place as soon as I get there, I fill it up the car
Really? Yeah
Just in case you get hemmed up in a bad situation, you should get moving you can get moving
You know what? I've done that and my dad gave me that advice and it saved me two or three times
Really two or three times where I got somewhere and there was like an LA an earthquake
Uh, you know one of those earthquakes sandy where you go. Oh, everybody's at the pump lines. You just go fuck me
I'm out
Dean Martin played on the radio
See you later losers
Yeah, and my son my son is like me because he looked at me. He goes you were right dad. I said, all right
That's why I got to get that's why I got to guess. So I mean say like, okay
So like let's say right now you drove down to Atlantic City. You drive down. Let me see the first thing you're doing
It's a refill off the car. Well, I tell the driver to do that. Yeah
Got the driver. You have a daily driver or for like, no, I I have him whenever I want. Yeah
Daily, yeah, I would say do you still drive though. Do you like to drive? I like to drive
So if you go to graffitis, you might hop in the car. Oh, yeah, if I go to graffitis, I drive
No, if I come to the city, he drove you down today. He drove me down today. He's waiting outside. Yes
That's fucking classy
Yeah, but if I if I go to graffitis, I go myself. Yeah, I like doing that
That's he just a driver or a little bit more
He's a little more. Yeah, so he come up here and smack us around or something. No, I like to I hire
I have two guys that work for me. They're ex-policemen retired. Nice. They got steel on them is what he's trying to say
I said they got some steel on them. That was a nice way to say it
They can regulate problems if need be jazz ain't rolling around with two goons
These are these are these come around with one of my old friends that I got to protect him
They have certain negotiating skills
They're retired policemen and they're terrific. Yeah, that's the way to do that's a good situation
Would you take them with you?
Whenever like are they downstairs now? He's downstairs right now. Holy
Toby do something stupid so you gotta get working
Fucking have you tuned me up a bit
Oh
Now we're getting
Guys all class I love you're you're breaking. I mean like we had Chrissy D. Oh Chrissy D. He's an animal
He's a nice kid. It was classy, but I mean, he's yeah, you see the house he rented in the la. I'm believable
It's a fucking Hearst castle. I know he's new money. He's new money. Chrissy. It's incredible. Yeah. Yeah, it's great
Now is that something you'd be yelling at him for or you would be like live it up and enjoy yourself
I think he's a smart guy, but I just always said, you know
Always try to live a little on the amoeba. Yeah, of course. We're starting to make a couple of bucks
And that's where we're having to readjust from the struggling comments to being like, oh, okay
But just yeah, you see you could buy things when you start making money
But it's to keep it and maintain it. That's the problem. Yeah. Yeah, buying it is not a problem
You know, it's keeping it smart. It's keeping it. It's like buying a horse and then it's like 30 grand defeated every year
Did you have exactly did you have that? I know it was like a lot of small moves and like even like
Bronx tell you were building up to it over over like four five or six years from 89 to when it when it came out
Did you have one big check that you splurged on something? Was it was there like what was the first big buy? Yeah
I could you want me to tell you the story about that?
Right, we do. Okay. I'm waiting for that. I make the deal with the narrow the deal the deal's done, right?
I'm sitting in my apartment now
Uh, I got some money. I got a few dollars. Can we ask what that number was like from the million check
Yeah, well, what so what was the deal with the narrow? Were you guys going to split the back end?
No, I I I could tell you what I got a I got paid a million and a half dollars
For the to write it and everything nice
So you got over you got you got over what I wanted and to fucking be
Taz is playing fucking chess over here. What did that do to your head?
Look, it's because of the narrow. I mean, I I owe bob so much and with best friends and
He's the one of the course. I know bobby real well
It's real friends calling bobby friends calling friends his real friends calling bobby family calls him robbit
Bullshit is calling bobby. Yeah, okay, so um
I'm sitting there my apartment. I got a better apartment. It wasn't great, but it was better
And I'm I'm on laurel canyon and I'm with my friend Dayton Callie. He's a wonderful actor
Really a great actor and he's been on many shows if you see his face, you know, he is
He's been on deadwood and a bunch of shows and it's me and him. We're working on a scene for the theater where I'm from
Oh, the acting place where I developed the Bronx tail
We're going back and forth sitting on it. Now. I knew the deal was closed. I'm waiting for the check, right?
I get a knock on the door
The guy goes, uh, how you doing check? He's he worked the way mars. He goes he goes you want to sign this? I said, oh
so I think it's
Something I have to sign for I don't know what I have no idea because they didn't say the check's coming
right they didn't say nothing to me
so
This fucking story guys
I'm telling you. I'm writing my I'm this is gonna be I'm writing a movie about how this whole thing happened
Oh, I can't I can that I cannot wait. I go like this. I go here Dayton. So yeah, we'll get that other scene together and we go
I go like this. I go start pulling it back and shit. What the fuck I got no
I got a few dollars now. Maybe maybe I got three or four thousand in the bank now
Don't good. Maybe so yeah, it's great for an act like a working actor. Yeah, which I got luck
Which he lent to me pedagation like let me so i'm looking at the thing I go
I go hey dane
I just got a check for $50,000. He goes
$50,000 he goes that's impossible
Wait, I said, I don't know. Maybe it's a payment for the Bronx tail. He stands there. Let me see that he stands up
He leans over my shoulder
My eyes are like crushed. I can't see he goes
He goes chaz that's $500,000
So I go like this
He says that's $500,000 your brain can't process the zeros. That's never seen it. I could process this sure. So I go like this
I go
I sit down
I sit down in the autumn and he sits down on the couch just like that
And we don't say a fucking word for three minutes not one word man. I'm like this
And tia start rolling down my fucking eyes
Right and I get up and I go oh shit
$500,000
Fuck
So I go dating
So I take a few deep bra. I'm getting nervous. It's not good thinking about I take a few deep breaths and I go
You know what dain the first thing I'm going to buy with this fucking money
I said we're going
To the fucking uh the name of the store. I wish I could remember the name. It was like a big department store
I said because I saw my vacuum cleaner to pay my electric bill
And it pissed me off and I never forgot that
And I said I'm going to go there and I'm going to buy the best fucking vacuum cleaner they got
So my friend dain goes hey chat, you know, just like neighborhood guys. Hey, I need one
Oh your mother yes, she's getting one you're getting you can when I'm about to tell you you can't make this shit up
My mother and father if I'm lying to you
If I'm exaggerating to you sure he goes
I go come on. We go to this fucking store. I wish I could remember the name
We walk in so I got a credit card. So I go shoot me sir
I want the best vacuum cleaners you have and he goes my friend goes they got suits on
My friend goes two of them
Like so we go
We go
Guy goes like this. He's he's showing us the best. I go. Excuse me. You know what I said, is this the best he goes
Well, there's enough. There's another one. He goes. He goes. That's professional. You don't need it. I said, listen to me
It's my fucking money. I want the best one. Yeah, and he goes my friend dain's going didn't you hear what the man said?
So we get we get the two fucking vacuum cleaners we buy them
Right, so as we're waiting for them as we're waiting for them. I got the check fold it up in my fucking pocket
As we're waiting for them. I hear
I hear glass breaking
I said, what the fuck?
So I go dain. What is that? I hear I hear people yelling
So I go leaning. Oh, I go I go to the end of the aisle and I lean over and I look
There's two guys with ski masks on with hammers and they're breaking the glass taking the jewelry out
And also as I turn around I go what the and the guy was
With a gun he was watching over them turns to me and my friend dating goes eat the fucking floor motherfucker and I went
And I lay on the floor. Yeah, yeah, fuck
I lay on the floor. He lays on the floor everybody's laying on the floor and the bell is going off, right?
And I turn to date and I go dating
I ain't fucking dying now
Not now. Yeah, I just measures. I just got fucking
I hundred thousand dollars. I just got a brand new vacuum and a brick, right?
Two of them, right? Two of them. So I said come on
So I said, let's get it. So we crawl around to the other side of the fucking aisle
And because everybody was everybody was frozen. Yeah, they didn't move
But I don't want to sound like a tough guy, but I've had guns pulled on me
So I'm like, I'm getting the fuck out of here because I am not going to be hostage
Because I can see it now the bells are ringing the cops are on their way. Yeah, and they were rushing these guys
I got I see these two old women
They're standing there. I grabbed one. I go, dang get her and we kicked the fucking door open that rang bell too
And we pulled out and me and him took off
Damn and we had to go back to the fucking back
Same day
Did you went back?
Man, he's a vacuum cleaner and we have my back still have that fucking vacuum do you a lecture looks nuts
I mean, I sold it that I bought it. No, sure. That's fantastic. So that was your first big thing was it was a vacuum cleaner
If that ain't class, I don't know what yeah
A lot of guys blow it on this and that no, no, no that I bought a new car
And you saved two old ladies lives
I saved a lot I bought a car that time was bought a brand new legend
What was a legend a legend a legend a legend. Yeah, they don't make them. Yeah, it was uh,
Acura acura legend. Oh, okay. Okay. Okay. Good car. I got you. Acura is a nice car
But a brand new acura legend
Then I gave it to my father then I bought myself a really like the misades. Oh, bmw was first before the misage
Yeah, class class move, man
Um, all right. I got another one here if you're going out to uh, you're going to a friend's house for dinner, right?
Yes, uh, you're taking a bottle of wine. How much you dropping on that bottle of wine?
Oh, you going low ball like the $13 ball you go high. What are you doing?
The minimum
A minimum would be 50
On the top end would be 150
Nice
Do you then how do you delineate who gets to 150 who gets to 50? Is it how close you are to them?
Well, how I know when I go to their house what they're serving me sure like, you know, if I know I go
You know, I go to Bob's house. It's yeah, you can't be getting a $50 bottle. Yeah, I'm getting I'm getting really good wine
Yeah, okay
Because just because he knows really good wine. He knows because he's a connoisseur of wine right one of my friends
I go I'm still going to give him a good wine because he'll break my balls. Yeah. What the fuck is this?
Hey, got me Sutter home
I invited you for the fucking wine
You had one job
You know the problem is there's good and bad the problem is and you guys you'll see
You'll know you'll find out when you I don't know you probably get it now when you're all having dinner somewhere the restaurant
The check comes. Well, this is another question. I wanted that. Oh, yeah, they just sit there
Because they assume chairs
Which I do. Yeah, and that's fine. Yeah, I don't mind that but you know say you're going out with another group
You know other successful actor friend. How do you chop it up? Then is there a conversation?
Just someone just grab it or do you sit there and like I had
No, we don't go
Who ate the shrimp?
He got so mad, but we don't do that
No, we don't do that
You find you buy you thought one of us one of us will pay
Who ate the shrimp? I didn't have a cup. Okay
No, it's true. It's true. So one of you would pay rather than split it. Yeah, no, we wouldn't split it
Yeah, we split it like imagine him and like it's like him and then you're out throwing up credit cards
We would split it. Oh, that's so funny
And I'd ask you about tipping but I know you're a good tipper because you were actually one of the last tables
Oh, yeah, I ever waited on
A couple years ago. Yes, it was you and your son and it was that yeah
It was at a burger place in the west villa last his last day of work
It was the last day that I was working there was the last time I ever waited tables
I always leave a good tip. You tip me very well. Yeah, so it's because I I look at and I put my son that I said
That it means more to them than it does
Few bucks. I I even think of that
10 that extra 20 whatever and normally I wouldn't really think that but since it was you
I was like, I hope the god that he tips me well just because everything that I believe in him
Would then come true and it and and you did you came through? Yes. I also finished your burger. I didn't want to tell you
You had like a bacon blue cheese burger and you cut it in half and didn't finish it
So I ate the rest of it. I figured hey, this is as good as it's gonna get
I didn't know I'd be interviewing him in two years
Everything you do in your life fully does the opposite. Yeah, except for tipping. I'm a good tipper
Good, you gotta be
Um, what kind of cologne do you like to wear? Um
I I'm trying to think of the cologne that I wear now. Um, I like to try different colognes
I don't uh, I forgot the name of it. Damn it. I just can't think of the name
What about back in the day? Were you ever like a brute old spice kind of guy English leather?
Never even the way he said no he was again
Can you what about canoe? No canoe canoe was big. No, it was it was big. I just didn't like uh
I like the more of a subtle stuff, you know the more of designer stuff like
You know the Calvin Klein or
This guy's close. Yeah, um at home. Do you keep your butter on the counter or in the fridge in the fridge?
I'm sorry
There's one in the one in the fridge and one in the counter because some people like it smooth
My wife keeps it. There's two. I mean come on. Do you think he's not these he's got both for everybody guys cover in his
I just realized that my wife keeps it out and I keep it in I need you to know that you've made everyone else
We've had some of the biggest comedians in the world on the show. You've made them all look homeless
Yeah, hey
Well, that's also I mean obviously it's it's an Italian thing too. Italians are very put together
Pride of it's like a very everything's very calculated very very meticulous
And I and I my wife is like really everything has to be like beautiful
Yeah, like if you if you something if we have a guest over the house the next day you wake up
And you come down in the kitchen. You'll think it's the four seasons
Oh, really pancakes and french toast and jam and these beautiful jars and she does it nice, huh?
She does it right. That's awesome. You know, she does it right now
This might be a silly question, but do you have a guy right now to make custom suits for you?
Are you a custom suit guy?
Yeah, how many what's the ballpark number on suits you think you got but but there's a better question to that
Go ahead. Ask me how many suits I have how many?
Probably 60
Okay, but ask me how many I paid for how many did you pay for two?
Why?
Because you go to places and they want you to wear. Yeah, famously. Yeah, like yeah here
So I can't say that I that I might have paid two or three. I might have paid for them myself two or three
Yeah, but most of them
I have all the clothes and the suits from all of my movies
Really everything everything that you said something you put in the contract you just kind of last day
Contract because they they don't want it anymore. Yeah, they got hip to it
Yeah, because I I tried to steal a jack. I was on Gotham once I tried to steal a jacket
I didn't even make it off the driveway. They were all over me. I have I have huge cedar closet
uh
and I have
From bronx tail
The bronx tail ask them usual suspects all
sealed in plastic with the title and name on it
Fantastic sunny suits for something else. Yeah, that was like some that was fucking shoes. Hi hats
I learned that from from bob. He's the one who taught me to take the wardrobe
Take the wardrobe really because he just sold his word. I think he just gave it to a museum in Dallas
Oh, yeah, but it's it's worth, you know, for my children. It's a legacy. Yeah, of course. Fuck
George wrote the suit sold for half a million dollars
The white suit from tiny. Yeah. Okay
Half a million dollars
That's pretty good. What could you sell your suit for you think?
Half a ham sandwich
No mustard. How do you feel about Hawaiian pizza?
No
No
When was the last time you were at apple bees at tji fridays or an olive garden? Yeah, I was gonna ask you
Have you ever eaten an olive garden?
I'm trying to think of maybe years ago. No, no
I think it would be so funny if you went like denny or you were like all just popped into an olive garden one night
I don't know how staunch you are with this, but is there any circumstance
At the pulmonary household that there would be a jar
of spaghetti sauce
A jar of sauce a jar of sauce like if you're making pasta
I'm trying to think of my wife if I had something in a pinch
You've got a a garage full of doomsday preference. Yeah, no way. There's
I have cases of
San Marzano tomatoes, of course
Oh, no, no, I want you to understand that I was saying not that not that it's crazy that you don't have it
Yeah, it's so awesome that you have everything to make it to make actual never have the jar
No, I have we have cases of the of the tomatoes
And I have a guy who has fresh tomatoes and gets it and then we have jars sealed of that. Yeah
So I can go either way with the cans or have that and just use that
So there's not going to be a bottle of classical in the pantry
No, pretty good. No, I love it. Um
All right, this is what this is what we did with Chrissy D. Uh, you're you're going as a guest to a wedding. What are you dropping at the wedding?
Not like someone that's close but not close, you know, I'm dropping
Yeah, yeah, you got it, right? You got it. Yeah, a grand. What are you talking?
Uh, if it's a friend
Yeah, friend's kid. Let's say a grand a grand cash. Not a check not cash. No a cash cash hundreds
always
Oh
I'm living out some like weird part of my fantasy from my childhood
Just with the answers to the question the way I literally just saw my head jazz commentary just looked at phone and said always hundreds
You know, you go to a wedding. They invite you. What do you even do? Let's give a hundred
Yeah, I get it. Of course. It's very expensive to get married. I know. Yeah
And you know what if my friend's son or daughter, you know, yeah, yeah, absolutely fucking class act man classy all the way
Here's one good you go to the beach
I know what Chrissy kept saying to me you're gonna love these guys. You're gonna love the show
Good you go to the beach, right?
Uh, are you uh, sitting close to the to the water guy or are you sitting close to the to the dunes guy or somewhere in the middle
There is it. There is a classy and a trashy answer. I just want to see I'm not by the water. I can tell you that
I'm not by the water. That's it. I'm back
Where usually
I try to get a house
To rent the house. That's right by the water. So if I feel like sitting on my deck
And my kids and my wife go to the water they can't and something but then they'll come back and they'll just stay on the deck
Nice now the trashy version is you go close to the shoreline to the water your garbage
Yeah, that they're always the garbage people you're half in the water
Oh
Trash you sit back on the beach like a job. You sit back on the beach like a gentleman. That's coming in the drop of hot dogs
Oh, they're running
Yeah, one of them's got shoes on now. Well, you guys
You guys did a fucking study on this. Oh, we're trash. We know what we know. Well, we know our trash
Well, you will you go local for vacation sometimes or is it always going to be like
South to France or something like that. Like will you go down to the jersey shore or anything?
I've rented houses on the jersey street. Yes. Yes. I've rented houses. Uh,
Where do you go on the jersey shore? Like, you know, love ladies, um
And ain't gonna be wild with bozos
You can rent you can rent we need to go to the hamptons. Yeah, oh we go to the jersey shore, which is uh, Long Beach Island
Yeah, lbi very classy very nice
And we we rent the house, uh
You know, right by the ward. It's beautiful. Yeah, that's really sure. It's very underrated jersey shows very underrated. It's very beautiful
Yeah, absolutely very nice
I like him hamptons class very class. Yeah, the hamptons is great too. Yeah
Um, have you ever been on a cruise? Never
And i've been offered to go on cruises. I'm sure for free. Yeah, I'm sure for free
And I can stay at the captain's table and eat it. I can't go. I just
You cannot trap me there like that. I don't you know
And you gotta come and go if the beginning of the pandemic didn't teach anybody anything
Don't ever go on a cruise. I just can't be locked into this. This is it. You're on you're not getting off
Yeah, no, it's not for me. Sorry. If somebody has a cold everybody gets it. Yeah, and you're quarantined on that thing
It's not for me. I can't do it. No never cruise never. Do you fall asleep watching tv?
uh
Sometimes I do okay. Do you sleep with a fan next to the bed on you? No, okay
Fair enough
Let's see another big one on the show, uh, is do you brush your teeth in the shower?
No, no, yeah
I don't know. He kind of paused on it. No, I'm trying. I'm thinking I'm trying to make sure if I ever did that
No, no, I'm not gonna get to come on. Chaz ain't brushing his teeth in the shower
I'm not gonna brush my teeth in the shower. Do you drink the coffee in the hotel room the little coffee maker?
Will you make that? I don't drink coffee. Okay
What's your cocktail of choice the wine guy wine wine red white? What do you both both?
Both yes dependent on the mood and the meal, baby. Did you ever collect any of the following?
Swords
What's wards was like a sword? Oh sword. Yeah, you really pronounce it. I'll be with that
Swords
I was like, what the fuck
Collected swords, num chucks. No, Chinese stars. No, what about beanie babies? No, okay
What the fuck you're gonna sold us like that. I just wanted to be sure
I'm sorry. She's gonna get fucking pissed on
Get fucking steve out of that truck bring them guys. We're going great. I got a cool bobby lamb chops
That's his name bobby lamb chop. That's the best name in the world. That's so good bobby lamb chop
It's intimidating but also he might be a sweet guy
When you get to know him, he's a real sweet guy. Yeah, he's not bashing your brains into the sidewalk
Uh, man, I think I only got one more that I want to reserve for you
Which is the dinner the dinner. Yeah, what do you drink with the what? Oh
Growing up or now
Growing up or no or now
Do you ever have milk with dinner? Never never never not even growing up
Never nice plate. Nice plate of lasagna. Have a nice glass of milk. Never
Really
I mean people actually do that some Italians do a lot of it. They're Italians do it. Yeah
He was there's they did it a lot in the Sopranos
He would come home and open up a thing and he had a big glass of milk and he'd be eating like cold lasagna or whatever
I don't get it. I well half the population drinks milk with dinner. It's wild. I'm sorry. I I've
Never yeah, that's crazy. Your kids. I assume not either. Never. Never not milk
Not milk. No, man
All right, the last question. Yeah, is it okay to get a toothpick when you're walking out of the restaurant?
I I don't do that. No, no, I I don't say it's bad. Yeah, you just not it. Yeah, I'm just not it to
Picking my teeth. Yeah in public in public. Yeah, this guy's this is books clothes
You get 100 class class even the way he poured the Pellegrino is classic. I saw we apologize for the solo cups
We wanted to get something we got to keep it on brand a little bit though
You got you got the Pellegrino out of a plastic cup. Could have a water for the glass
Listen, most people don't even get a water
You've got a Pellegrino. I was like 350
I'm sending Chrissy D a receipt for that gang. What an absolute unbelievable episode
Chas palmetary. Thank you so much. Is there anything you want the folks out there to know that you have coming up other than
Yeah, well, I want to make sure that people go to my new podcast
Chas palmetary show. It's on Spotify on youtube. Just fantastic fantastic show. Great. Thank you very much
I I talk about acting writing directing. It's like a master class. That's funny with funny stories
And I talk about neighborhood logic and that's really the big thing is that
Godfather Harlem premieres April 18th
And if people shouldn't you want to see my one-man show they can go on chas palmetary dot net
And my host schedule for this year and next year the touring where I will be
And they can go to my line store and get anything all those
like old
Posts that I had from my original Bronx Tales show if they want to purchase that fantastic. Yeah, absolutely unbelievable. Thank you so much
Kippy, what do you got for them? Just as always, please make sure you're right with you subscribe on itunes
Subscribe on youtube for full video and then patreon.com and i'm at kevin ryan comedy on all social media
Absolutely fantastic episode guys. Thank you so much. We love you and we'll see you next week. Peace