Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Che Durena!
Episode Date: August 14, 2023Are You Garbage present stand up comedian & podcast host Che Durena! Thanks for watching Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast. Come to a Live Show! NEW LIVE SHOWS: https://areyougarbage.com/ Follow Kevin:... https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/hfoleycomedy/ Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/ PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Ladder Life: https://www.LadderLife.com/GARBAGE Manscaped: https://www.manscaped.com Promo Code: Garbage Fit Bod: Take 20% off your Fitbod subscription or try the app for free at https://fitbod.me/garbage Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?
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Gang the stage trashy tour is coming to a city near you.
Stand up comedy plus we play the Liy G with the crowd.
Shows are selling out and you can get your tickets at RUGARBAGE.com.
See you there!
Welcome to another exciting edition of
Are You Gobbage?
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals
or absolute trash.
Now here are your hosts Kevin Ryan and H Foley. Hey
everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's new favorite podcast. This is
R U garbage. So a little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find
that after you're to be classy. Yeah. It's just a big old piece of trash. I'm your
host H Foley coming at you on a beautiful day.
We're out back at Tuddy's here in the new edition.
She's upstairs doing a little gardening.
Okay.
Got a grow operation up there in the back closet.
A lot of pain foil going through.
Hope the chopper don't fly over.
My co-host is coming at you right next to me.
He is the CEO of RU Garbage.
He's a King of the Boardwalk, baby.
And not too bad under the boardwalk.
I'll tell you that right now.
Give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan. I was supposed to be a secret. What's up everybody? Thanks
for tuning in. As always, please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes, full
video available on YouTube as you know, those numbers are true to room cooking. And then
obviously the greatest website of all time, W W W that patreon.com slash R U Garb, you
go over there, get all your bonus content, check it out. Yes, sir. It happened a nice quick
shout out to our producer, extraordinaire, the magic man embodies the summer would have cut off shorts in his skin board
Give it up for T-bone McScruffins Toby McBull and everybody what up, dude?
What up, pal? I'm stoked. We got it's crazy to see this guy not on my phone every time I have my phone
It's this guy killing it got one of the fucking cool kids. Yeah, Bucky sees the flip-flops my god of dude
fucking cool kids. Yeah, Bucky sees the flip-flops. Fuck out of dude.
Gang the long hair ain't lying because we couldn't be more
excited to have our incredibly, and I mean incredibly special
guests here with us today for the first time.
Use a very funny, very successful stand-up comedian,
podcaster and social media superstar.
He's got a brand new podcast. Thank you. Come again.
He's got an amazing Twitch stream, little dinky news, and he's
kept the kickoff a fall tour in September
Give it up for Che Dorena everybody
Thank you. Thank you for having me. Oh, I thought cool just saying twitch
I was worried I was gonna mess it up kids will know I'm a poser
Yeah, you guys could get a livestream on there just talking shit and then you'll get banned like everyone else
Yeah, I don't know anything if that was one that came along and I was like I'm done
I'm not learning this one not into it. There's kind of two lanes you either go like I'm hardcore good at playing video games
Or you're like a chick with like great tits. I got one right here
What are we doing?
I ain't too bad a mad 90-80
I ain't too bad a mad in 98 either.
Give me fucking Mr. John L.A. I'll take it in a fucking super boy.
We shave his chest got a nice push up, bro.
We're looking good.
Just shoot from here.
That's it.
That's it.
I really love it.
We got a little experience on chat relatif that counts.
Buddy, give us the backstory.
Fill us in.
Where'd you grow up?
Give us the whole scoop.
Right on.
What's the origin story?
So I'm Canadian.
I grew up on the West Coast of Canada like Vancouver ish area, okay, but like in the suburbs boring ass fucking place
How far from Vancouver maybe like an hour?
I said Vancouver proper suburbs. Yeah proper suburbs north of like Seattle. Yes
So is that a bulk Mexico?
If I got a map out, can we figure it out?
That's like the thing in Team America world police
where they're like Cairo,
how many miles far from America?
Like everything is in good place.
Yeah, you mentioned it.
Oh, Seattle you're saying.
Yeah, yeah.
So grew up there, like nothing too crazy going over there.
I was just kind of like a,
probably an alcoholic, like a like 14. Nice, right? My going over there. I was just kind of like a, probably an alcoholic, like 14.
Yeah.
My kind of kid.
Yeah.
It's getting real go getter.
Hey, start on young out there.
I was just like partying for most of my high school.
Everything before that was like kind of like Digimon and Pokemon.
Uh, man, this kid's cool.
Talk about the duality of man.
Yeah. So I put my Pokemon cards away and said hello to Jack Danes. Yeah. Man, this kid's cool. Talk about the duality of man.
So I put my Pokemon cards away and said hello to Jack Danes.
Yeah, start a drinking floaters.
Dude, one thing you want Pokemon, Yeagerbomb.
Yeah.
Get a couple of those.
Once I had a drink and touch tits, it was like, whoa, yeah.
Really changes your perspective on life.
You're fucking, you come online man.
system activated.
He comes to your birthday and burn all your Pokemon cards.
Yeah, Pokemon cards.
Pokemon cards.
He's mean nothing to me now.
What's your mom and dad do?
My dad, electrician, my mom was in sales nice.
My dad's from Haiti. So I graduated over.
They're both were in their second marriage
when they met me.
So they had like two, my dad had two kids,
my mom had one kid.
So my sister and my mom's side,
we all grew up together.
Nice.
Well like me and her grew up together.
My brother and sister and my dad's had word Montreal,
which is like on the other string, Canada,
way on the other side.
That's above New York.
Yeah, above New York.
Okay.
Just getting, just getting my bearings over.
So, hi, if you want to get a little technical.
They grew up with their mom over there.
They grew up with their mom.
Then when I was like six or seven,
my brother came over and started living with us.
And then my sister on my dad's side
still stayed in Montreal.
Gotcha, man.
We are in the weeds already.
Yes, welcome to the show, baby, too.
It was like people moving around.
Can 80 and Brady, bud.
Yeah.
And then my sister and my dad said,
I didn't move over to a whalate.
I was like 14 or 15 by the time she came over.
And what's the age separation?
What's the age separation between your mom and your sister?
Your mom's first kids.
So I'm the youngest.
First kid.
My sister and my mom's side's nine years older.
My sister and my dad's side's nine years older.
My brother is 10 years older. So I'm the young baby. So you years older. My sister on my dad's side's nine years older, my brother is 10 years older.
So I'm the young baby.
So you're the baby, by mom.
So when you were a kid and they started moving in,
they were like, teenagers.
Teenagers.
Yeah, yeah, everyone's like,
there is establish, got the lives, personalities,
and all that kind of shit.
Little chaotic in the house,
like my parents probably should have got divorced
like 10 years before they did.
Sure.
Yeah, that kind of stuff.
Shout out to staying together. Yeah. Fucked a lot of us up. Sure, yeah, that kind of stuff. Shout out to Staying Together. Yeah.
Fucked a lot of us up.
Yeah, it makes a lot of comedies.
It's like a line better factory.
It was like beneficial to me as a kid
because I fucking hated school and did fuck all in school.
Like I was like just coasting on everything.
And my parents would be like,
we always report card and be like,
oh, they just didn't send it.
But they were like having such just
scrapences in their marriage.
That they couldn't focus on my shortcomings
because they were fighting.
So I remember like taking a report card,
getting it from the mailbox before they could get it
and like bearing it in a field.
So you go fishing?
Not the fun.
What's every report card ever do to you?
I had a move in a couple of years later because I started developing the land. They put on an addition. What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? Just to put it, I was just like, bro, this is ghosted a few. So I put it to teeth now. You put it to teeth.
I put it to teeth now.
Kevin's fingers and the freezer.
Okay.
All right.
Then, yeah.
So you, did you recognize that of like, oh, this is kind of chaotic in here.
No one's really paying attention.
Yeah.
I just don't have to make, if I don't make waves, I can fly another rate out.
Exactly.
I was just flying under the radar and then once I graduated high school, which I barely graduated.
Okay. I went into my final exam with 51% in English and you need your English to graduate.
I had a real wonky up there in Canada.
Oh, real wonky.
Because we don't do, we do ABC, we don't do D's or any of that kind of shit past there.
Really?
Yeah, it's all like a percentage system and I think everything you need, like at least grade 11,
or would you guys say 11th grade?
I picked up on what you meant.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I was lost.
Wait, is a C up there still a C down here?
I think so.
Is that like an F?
So a C, we have C minus would be like an F.
A C minus is like a-
What percentage point would that be?
That would be like a, you're at like a between like 15, 55.
Okay, that would be like an F first. Yeah, yeah. 55 okay that would be like an effort yeah okay so I you need
that look better on a report oh yeah yeah 100% but you need at least that
little bit to graduate or when to the final with 51 came out with 50 so like
I think my English teacher was literally like I just don't want to fucking see
the same thing exactly I'm sending him then I want to get buried in the back. Yeah
Hey play ball miss kids. I'm fucking around. You know what? I'm in the fucking report card
Then I I went to college
For college I took I found the most bullshit course my parents were like you got to go straight to university or straight to college Like you were not you're not taking a year off because they saw I thought you're translating for Americans
Yeah, I went to straight to university college
because they saw. I thought you're translating for Americans.
Yeah.
I went to straight to university college.
College.
But we have, there's a difference for us.
We have like college and university,
which I think you guys call everything college.
No, we have colleges and universities.
But they're pretty much,
the meaning has changed over the years.
Universities offer master's courses.
Yeah.
Also, a university is a collection of colleges too.
Oh.
I believe like the whatever school of whatever and whatever school of whatever is in a university is a collection of colleges too. Oh. I believe like the whatever school of whatever
and whatever school of whatever is in a university.
Gotcha.
Oh, okay.
I could be completely wrong.
Yeah, fully nailed it.
No shit.
Yeah.
Wow.
Yeah.
Masters and PhDs to be university.
Okay, okay.
Woo.
Wee.
Which he has neither one on by the way.
I don't know how you learn that snap of fact give me a fucking C-minus
Pay that right now. What'd you study? I took a scuba diving instructor
In the middle of Canada
Hey, you better put your wetsuit on it's cold out there today. I'll tell you that boy. Oh, yeah
That's insane. I didn't think anybody ever did that. Yeah, yeah, so I did a scuba diving instructor course
It was like the most bullshit course I could find because I didn't want to do school anymore
I just wanted to fuck off and so I forgot my flippers. I can't go to school today
It was it was pretty it was like it was a fun course like he I just learned how to become a scuba diving instructor
Get the fuck out of here. Yeah, have any scuba diving
Experience prior to becoming an instructor zero zero
So like all my experience was all like cold water diving on like Western Canada. Okay, so you dabbled in this a little bit
Yeah, so like the course was eight months and you did like I think I got like a hundred and something divesled in this a little bit. Yeah, all right. So the course was eight months, and you did like,
I think I got like a hundred and something dives,
and in that time,
I'm a common instructor.
That's not college.
No, no, no, no.
That's training.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was like,
it was basically a means to an end.
I could get a job, and then once I was an instructor,
I could fuck off.
So right after that, I moved to Mexico.
Like a really, like 19 took off to Mexico,
and I lived in Mexico for three years
like teaching scuba diving.
So you learned all this stuff.
Oh yeah, it was actually legit.
Yeah, it was legit.
I mean, 100 dives, you gotta, yeah,
you gotta know what you're doing.
Yeah, you were out in the cold water.
Cold ass water, you do like dry suit stuff.
So you're not actually getting wet.
You still get cold down there
because you can feel it through your suit,
but the like transfer of heat isn't as fast.
So you just like you don't freeze to death
Dude that's pretty fucking wild. It was a lot of money in that. Oh, oh, there's time
Like if you want to do like deep sea diving and like deep sea welding and shit you can make crazy money
I need every dirt bag. I know because I'm gonna be a deep sea welder
You know how much money they make?
I anybody like takes years off your life years because that really the bends shit like the nitrogen in your system I'm gonna make a... I'm gonna make a... I'm gonna make a... I'm gonna make a... I'm gonna make a... I'm gonna make a...
I'm gonna make a...
I'm gonna make a...
I'm gonna make a...
I'm gonna make a...
I'm gonna make a...
I'm gonna make a...
I'm gonna make a...
I'm gonna make a...
I'm gonna make a...
I'm gonna make a...
I'm gonna make a...
I'm gonna make a...
I'm gonna make a...
I'm gonna make a...
I'm gonna make a...
I'm gonna make a...
I'm gonna make a...
I'm gonna make a...
I'm gonna make a...
I'm gonna make a... I'm gonna make a... I'm gonna make a... I just like hanging out. I was hung over a lot when I went to work.
Really?
Yeah, like, well, because I was like,
I was teaching diving from like 19 to 21.
I was like, parting all the time.
In Mexico, where'd you get all the gear?
I so like, that was-
That's gotta be expensive, right?
That was part of the course of my parents were like,
well pay for your school, whatever you do.
So you said, hey, I don't really wanna go to college
per se and study like communications or English.
I wanna become a scuba diving instructor. And they were they were like cool because you would kind of done stuff like that
They were like cool because I had zero interest in anything ever and they're like at least he's doing some
How much lights at each other?
The young one wants to swim whatever. Yeah, all I had to do was say hey, do you hear what mom said about it?
What will you do? So you were doing this in high school?
How did you get into doing free dives in the cold water in Canada?
I never had done any sort of basketball team or anything up there.
skateboarding or something like that?
I never did any sort of scuba diving training before the course.
I like, he learned the first time.
I thought you said you did free dives or something.
No, no. That was the course. Yeah, no, he learned the first time. Oh, I thought you said you did free dives or something? No, no.
That was the course.
That was the course.
Holy shit.
So the course was like, you start,
well, you start in the pool and then you basically
like go from like zero of knowing nothing
and then in eight months or like, okay, now you can teach people
from zero to like just being in the pool.
But you had interest in it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You had to be shitting in your pants the first time you did that.
I was like, you start in the pool and you start so soft and so slow.
It's like, it's really incremental.
There was one time where we really fucked up bad where we, uh, we went on a wreck dive,
but there was a group of us who weren't rec certified.
Um, so other group that was rec certified went inside the wreck.
And this was like in really low visibility.
So you like, well, you need to bring flashlights and shit. And the Pacific Ocean.
In the Pacific Ocean.
So we didn't charge our flashlights,
but we went underneath the wreck
because we couldn't go inside it,
which is even deeper.
And then we got lost,
and we were like swimming around in circles
for like what felt like an eternity.
And then, when we finally got out,
we like got out of the water,
and they're like, okay, you guys ready for the second dive?
And we're like now
We're just gonna make it easy. We literally all thought we were gonna die. What kind of rec was it?
That's some big ass fucking boat underneath like yeah, the underneath the water like it was like
We were at the bottom of like underneath it
We were like 110 feet underwater, which is like almost at the maximum of where you can go with recreational diving
And you're you run at a airway faster down there and shit too.
I'm getting the benj to it.
Yeah, it's dude.
So the college was on the coast.
Yeah, the college was on the coast like,
I put that together.
Yeah.
So what the people, I'm getting a vibe, like, yeah.
It was probably a little Baywatchy.
Like those people are like, it totally would have been,
it's a culture.
It was a summer town, but we were there in the winter.
So it was like kind of dead.
We would like do shit like, I don't know,
like walk dogs and stuff to like fucking pass the time.
But the group I lived with,
there was five of us living in one house.
And we all became like really good friends.
And we would like throw our own parties
and like do ecstasy and like dance and shit in the place.
Yeah, I'll do it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It was a good time. I take it back. That is college. Yeah. So we
made the most fun we could with like the small group that we had. And then Mexico was just a complete
shit show. And that's it. You got a job. I got a job down by myself. Yeah. Went down there by myself.
New. No one didn't know what to speak Spanish. Just went. I had a job. Awesome. Yeah, dude. You're
the coolest Canadian. So you were the time. So you were the diving issue.
So you're on vacation.
Yeah, we're going to want to do diving.
You're teaching people and you're going in.
Yeah, I'm teaching people.
That's like the coolest guy ever.
Also, I had dreadlocks at the time, too.
You were probably getting laid back and on, right?
I cleaned up some pretty, like that's
where my like, hooring just like really took off.
Right.
Broke up a couple of instructors.
Yeah.
Broke up a couple of marriages yourself, I would assume.
There was, I was there for three years.
You want to schoolers?
Yeah, that's what I was thinking.
From a long came poly.
Of all the people who lived there,
there was only one relationship that last.
Everyone broke up.
It was played out in Carmen, Mexico.
It was like a huge party vacation town.
People would go there be like,
oh, we're gonna live in Mexico.
And it's like, no, no, people are horrors and parting out here.
Like you don't survive out here.
Damn.
Yeah.
And it was probably much easier
from the cold water to the nice clear waters.
Oh, it was so nice once I made that transition and stuff.
You had to be careful
because we would do stuff like shark dives and shit like that.
So you would have to like,
well, watch out for like different types of animals
and like currents and shit.
The shark dives were sick.
We would go, like, they would come every winter
and be like bull shark season. You go like way out in the, into like the middle of the ocean,ives were sick. We would go, like they would come every winter and be like, bull shark season.
You go like way out into like the middle of the ocean,
you drop down and you're just in like a sand belt,
there's no coral or anything around.
And then you just kind of like take a water ball
or something and you crinkle it
and they feel the vibrations and they come and start
swimming around.
Dude, that's our biggest fear.
Yeah, me and T-Bug don't like sharks.
Yeah, shark, oh dude, honestly.
I don't know, like I saw a video the other day of a great white, like, busting through Plexig got no like sharks. Yeah, shark. Oh, dude, honestly, I don't know,
like I saw a video the other day of a great white,
like busting through Plexiglass and trying to eat it.
I just saw that.
Yeah, you saw that?
Yeah.
I wouldn't fuck with great whites, bull sharks.
Oh, thanks.
You heard it here first, folks.
Tiger sharks are cool, though.
But the bull sharks were chill.
We were even there, we wouldn't feed,
but they were a good bite.
They always just chilled. By weed off a bull shark.
Yeah, the dreads.
But there was one time we went down and a group was feeding the sharks and they were like and so we were around as they were feeding and that was a whole other
Experience because normally we would see like four or five sharks. There was maybe
20 30 shark. I like circling and they they're in a frenzy, not in a way
where they're coming after you,
but they're like bumping into each other.
And like crashing it.
They want to get the meat.
And then, but then once all the meat was gone,
within about five minutes, it went from like 30 to like 20,
to like 15 to like four.
Like they just, they fucked off as soon as there wasn't.
How many dives would you do a day?
On a crazy day, you would do four.
Whoa.
Four dives.
Yeah, you'd do kind of cash,
are we talking about for the day?
Are we making good money?
Not crazy money.
I was probably making some.
You're a 20 year old kid or something like that, right?
Yeah, I'm a 20 year old kid,
so I was probably making some of her
between a thousand to $2,000 a month,
like depending on how busy it was.
Okay.
And I was also bartending on the side.
So like I would, like, I would try to make a lot of money bartending. That. And I was also bartending on the side. So like I would like,
I would try to make a lot of money bartending.
That was where I was making way more cash actually.
But it was a sick time.
It was a sick time.
Spend it all on condoms.
It's great.
Oh no.
bartended and scuba diving instructor.
I was raw-dogging every time.
You were raw.
Dude, I remember one time
where I was going to go bang this girl once
and I went to put on a condom
and she was kinda like, she said something to me in Spanish and I couldn't understand it.
But the body language was like, why are you using a condom?
And I was being like, and she was a tourist, she was from like Spain or something.
And I was like, bro, like you can't drink the water here.
Like what the fuck?
You fucking just strange dudes, bro.
I'm just gonna brush my teeth real quick.
So you were doing this shit hung over. Have you ever puked underwater? Fucking just strange dudes. Bro! I'm just gonna brush my teeth real quick. Yeah.
See, you were doing this shit hung over.
Have you ever puked underwater?
No, I never puked underwater, but I did see it happen quite a few times.
That's a great question.
Yeah, that's alright.
And it just, how does that work?
It's like, just comes out like a cloud.
Like, chum, problem.
The way they tell you to do it, because you have your like, what the fuck's it called again?
Regulator.
You have your regulator in your mouth.
Jesus Christ, you didn't know that.
This guy stinks.
The thing on your back, the, uh,
the fuck, the, thanks.
The air thing.
It's been a long time.
You know, it's only fine.
I'm gonna go fuck your way.
Make sure your tanks are on.
Get back in an hour.
So they tell you to puke through it,
because you can puke through it,
and what they don't want is you to take it out and puke,
and then your reaction after puke is to inhale,
and then to inhale water.
So if you puke through the regulator,
you inhale air at least after,
even if there's some chunks in shit in there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So that's something they tell you to do,
but I've saw people take it out and puke and then put it back in it
Like you if you're paying attention you're gonna be enough, but yeah a lot of puking people got C-Sick a lot
And would just like fucking chum up the water like crazy. How long we down there for like underwater?
No, no other cool
Me and T-bo made eye contact and I'm like the water like, man. Me and T-boat made eye contact.
I'm like, just do smooth.
That's all right.
That's all right.
This is like one cool cat we get on.
Oh, the other Canadian bozos are shoveling snow.
Yeah, it's like, fuck that shit.
I gotta get out of here.
Can't let's talk about later.
Later, later, later.
Let's talk about later, gang.
Here's a little tip. Before you decide to put the addition on a house
yourself or put the deck on right any permits.
Yeah.
Make sure you get yourself some ladder, get yourself covered with a little
term life insurance.
No doctors, no needles for the $3 billion in coverage.
They're looking out for you.
Don't need the family holding the bag.
Yeah.
It's easy, peasy.
Just answer a few questions about your health and you'll be on your way.
Don't jam someone up and after you're long gone,
you've been jamming them up your whole life.
Take care of them now.
Get ahead of the problem.
Ladder smart algorithms work in real time.
So you find out if you're instantly approved
with A and A plus ratings by A M best and 4.8
out of five stars on trust pilot,
you can go ahead and blindly follow that YouTube tutorial
With that peace of mind if you die at least your family won't be destined. All right. There's ladders come to play baby
Yeah, so got a ladder like go to ladderlife.com such garbage a day to see if you're instantly approved
That's ladder L.A.D.D.
ER life.com such garbage ladder life.com such garbage do it gang
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K, let's talk about that man's cape, baby.
Man's gizzey.
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you got the platinum package 4.0.
Got your money.
And not to mention, you got the lawn mower 4.0,
it's got a light on it so you don't skim your nuts
when you're down here.
I know.
Which I've done.
Some people are into that.
That's your business.
I'm just here to tell you to shave your gosh darn puble.
Sorry.
I don't weener off.
I use it on my face.
I don't care.
That's what we're doing.
Let me say this.
If you're using scissors, get on the man's case.
I've used scissors.
What are you nuts?
I've used scissors.
Really? I'm using shears. Yeah. We'll just, we'll get it. I've used scissors really using cheers. Yeah. Well, just
We'll get it. That's where it lets that's crazy. That's for later. Come that's all fair comers
What are you doing here back to man'scape the best in a bit of course lawnmower tremors a total game changer
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Use the code garbage.
Use the platinum package because the gold standard
is no longer good enough.
Maybe do it.
How long did you do it for?
I was, I taught scuba diving for like two, two and a half years and then the last chunk of
time I bartended.
I worked at a call center for a bit because there was like a Canadian call center down there
that would do like HVAC calls from Mexico.
So I just kind of wanted to not do the labor job anymore and like chill out a little bit.
And then in the last year was when I started doing stand up.
You started down there. I started down there, yeah. In English?
In English. In English. So there was a group of like four dudes. I think it was like three
Canadians in one American and they just started doing stand-up. There was one show a week and I just
was like, I called them once and was like, hey, can I come do comedy? My brother had started doing stand-up
in Canada and I consumed stand-up like crazy. I would watch it constantly, but I never knew
you could just go do it.
I was the same way.
I thought you had to be famous.
And when he was like, oh, it's like,
like, it's time.
Anybody can do it.
And then you do it and you see the lunatics
that come doing open, like, oh, really anyone can do it.
Yeah, dude, the, the barrier for entry
is literally nothing.
Like as long as you can talk.
And so he was like, oh yeah, you just go to open mics.
So I wrote jokes with the intention of actually sending him the jokes.
And then I wrote enough material that I was like, well, I should just do it.
So I went, I did stand up, I loved it.
And it was like, now I was working hard at something.
And it was the first thing I was ever like passionate about.
They wanted to keep getting better at it.
Exactly.
So just started grinding, grinding, grinding.
A year into that, I was like,
okay, I wanna do this.
I'm gonna move to Toronto
because that's the best place in Canada to do it.
Sure.
Sold on my scuba diving gear.
Bought a plane ticket.
Hang in on my flippers, babe.
It was like,
that puke was in there when I bought him.
I thought.
That chapter was done.
It's the only guy to take a C plane to Toronto.
Yeah.
You swam up.
So I just retired all that.
And then when I got to Toronto, I had nothing.
I had like, by the time I got to downtown Toronto,
I had maybe like 25 bucks.
So I had like little shitty laptop.
I googled Toronto home the shelters at a Starbucks,
found this like little, it was like a youth shelter,
it was called Covenant House.
So it was like anyone who was like under the age
of 24 could stay there.
And I think it was like 22 at the time.
I went there, they're like,
we can't give you a bed, we're full.
You gotta go to a men's shelter,
which is like a much rougher environment.
Sure.
There's dudes who've been homeless for years and years
addicted to drugs, booze, all this kind of shit.
So they were like, well, we can feed you.
So I was eaten, and then when I was eating,
someone showed up, but they were a food like it was like,
it was whatever. It was like some spaghetti or something like it would. I wouldn't go back.
Yeah. It didn't blow my dick off, but it was free. I wouldn't go back. Service was good.
Yeah, dude. Service was great. It's with a smile. Uh-huh. But a kid showed up and he was
He was drunk and they're like, hey, well, he can't stay here tonight. So you can have a bed
So then I got a bed
I stayed there for like six months and they like it was a place to sleep
They would feed you and then I also told my move there to do stand-up
So they would let me break curfew to go out and do spots every night like what like just I was just fucking doing open mics
But I was just like getting the grind doing it,
doing it, doing it, doing it.
Then once that started to take off a little bit,
I was like maybe six months into staying there.
I moved into a house with like all comics.
Sure.
Which was this like, shit.
It was probably worse than the homeless.
Oh, it was, it was.
No spaghetti in that house.
Bro, it was this shit dick home that was like famous in Toronto
because it housed like so many comedians
Like do you guys know Dave from her head? Yeah, yeah, I think Dave from her head stayed there
I think Rob may you stayed there like a but it like 20 years of comics had
Stagged the thousands yes, and it was it was this place where this old dude Armando
He was this death
Portugese dude who would like come and just yell for the rent,
and then if you went to go to his place to pay the rent,
he would give you this wine that he would make
in his basement, that would get you fucked.
Yeah, dude, Armando, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up?
You play it fast and there's kids done some living.
Wait, but also, back to the, like the,
could you not have, what did you tell your parents
you were living at a homeless shelter?
No, no, no, no, no, no, I didn't.
So my parents were divorced at this time,
and my dad came to visit me when I was staying at the shelter.
And he was just, he wasn't visiting me to be like,
are you okay?
He was just visiting me like, oh, you're living in Toronto.
And I'll come see you.
And when I told him everything I was going on,
I didn't really think much of it.
I was like the happiest I had ever been.
Because I had a purpose, I was in a city,
I was doing a thing I wanted to do.
Like for the first moment in my life, I had like drive. I was in a city. I was doing a thing I wanted to do like for the first moment in my life
I had like drive mm-hmm and he well my uncle told me he went home and he had dinner with my uncle
And he told me that my dad cried being like he's going through this struggle when I moved to Canada
I had to go through a struggle
He has to like do this part of his life wow my dad saw it is this like
Because of honor this bad yeah, cuz he moved to Montreal
He had like a thousand dollars and he couldn't speak English.
They speak French there,
so he could speak French and communicate,
but there was a huge,
rather population couldn't talk to,
I had to teach himself English,
had to get a job and go through this whole thing
after running away from Haiti
because there was a dictator in Haiti.
Like all this crazy shit.
Damn.
So he, like they, he saw it as a,
a badge of honor kind of thing,
but I didn't tell anyone.
I didn't want to take help from anyone. I didn't want to take help from anyone.
I didn't want to take money from anyone.
I was like, I gotta do this on my own.
I gotta figure this out.
Um, fucking stand up.
Yeah, fuck your wife, but nice guy.
Hard worker.
Can't take that from him.
Yeah.
I borrowed money from my mom a week ago.
Yeah.
You ain't getting it back.
Oh, my shelter.
I wouldn't be like comedy socks.
I'm out of here.
No, I fucked your wife, but I earned it.
Fucking earned it.
That's fucking.
That's wild.
That's a fucking story.
Yeah.
So then it was from there, it was just like grinding out in fucking Canada to get up through
like the Canadian comedy industry.
I did just for laughs and these different things.
And then pandemic hit got online, started doing the TikTok.
That's when you popped off on TikTok.
I was still in Canada for all this, or you moved here.
Now you moved here a year ago.
So I'm into your town.
No shit.
So you were up in Canada for the pandemic.
For the pandemic, which was,
As man, our pandemic was long.
Yeah.
It was like twice as long as your guys pandemic.
Yeah.
Oh, can't hold the bullies down.
Yeah.
But yeah, and then, yeah, so like a year ago I came here and then it was like immediately
on the road, immediately like turning this like social following into like live shows.
And it's like convincing the audience now because most of my online content was in standup
because we weren't doing standup up there.
So it's like they come to the show so like, oh, I didn't even know what to expect.
And I'm like, oh no, this is my main thing. This is what I do. This is what I do. I do the TikTok so they come to the show so like, oh, I didn't even know what to expect. And I'm like, oh, no, this is my main thing. This is what I do. I do the TikTok.
So you come to the show. Good shit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Cock. Damn. That guy has lived quite the tail. My dad's pretty wild. Pretty wild.
A homeless shelter to do open mics. Give me a bed.
Bugs. No, no, we were good on that. No bed bugs. Like, you know, like you said, food was okay.
It's like everything was passable, it was passable.
And the like, mics and stuff were shit,
but at least I was doing something.
Sure, of course.
Let's take a little bit of a step back.
What was the pet situation growing up?
Pets, oh, so I had one dog named Pele.
That was like a pit bull, staffy cross.
A great dog, man. A little stupid.
Real sea student, huh?
Yeah, real sea student on him, but like great dog.
He died at like 10, I think.
Okay. Just got like a little too sick.
You started having like seizures and stuff.
Stayed inside, parents loved them, all that kind of stuff.
All that stuff, you got great dog, man.
Always been a dog guy. dogs are like where it's at
And did you do any jobs before you left for for school? Oh, yeah, I worked at McDonald's for a while
I'm like yeah, dude the old I was one of the worst McDonald's employees of all time
Did you make your own stuff when you're in there? Oh, yeah, I would whip shit up in the back all the time
Dude I had like original creations one One of the best ones for me.
You get the deep seed diver.
Something of the chain menu.
Oh, dude, exclusive shit.
It'll clog your arteries big times.
So you get your McDouble.
Okay.
Make it all on my classic.
Like I love that dollar menu shit.
McDouble, you add Mac sauce and bacon.
Okay.
So that one secured an all time great. And then there was other stuff. You do like a triple big Mac stuff and bacon. Okay. So that one secured an all time great.
And then there was other stuff,
you do like a triple big Mac stuff like that.
Sure.
And I was trying, I did some dessert shit too.
Oh yeah, if you take an apple pie,
I think this is gone public now.
But you take an apple pie and you put it in McFlurry
and like whip it up in there.
100%.
Yeah.
That is like a kill or?
Absolutely.
Like they're trading it on the stock market
to a public stock for the room.
How was that IPO by the way? Yeah. I made a killing in it.
You can invest in it. I mean, it was just a few people. Those are the real
guys. Yeah, I got it when it was a penny stock man. It's huge.
I think he's funded fucking Mexico.
Okay, growing up, did you drink milk with dinner?
I didn't actually, I think I might have.
I did drink a lot of milk,
but I don't know if it was a milk with dinner kid.
But I drank a ton of milk.
I remember I used to do this thing,
where Doritos were big in my house.
I would sink in my house.
No one knew about those.
No, no, no, we were first under Doritos.
Well, we get those big Costco bags of Doritos,
like the giant one, and I would sit there
with a glass of milk and like a bowl full of Doritos,
and I would fill my mouth with so many Doritos,
and chew it until it was like this Dorito paste,
and then it would take a swig of milk
and like cannonball it down.
That was just a system in my head
where I was like, this is the way to do it.
So you're a biting chuga, or a bite and sip.
Will you do that with any meal?
Not any meal, Dor readers was a specific thing.
Okay.
To get the consistency.
I wanted this consistency.
You're making concrete.
Oh yeah, absolutely.
What was coming out of the other end was fucked for all.
A couple of bricks.
All right, so how was the family dinner set up?
Would you guys have dinner as a family every night?
We did for a while and then my sister moved out because she was 10 years older.
Right. And then the family dinner thing kind of dissolved. And that was also my
parents' marriage and like dissolving. And be trying to like not be home as much as
possible. So we did do family dinners for a long time. But the family dinner was
also the place where you got ambushed. Like, a bender baby. Talk about getting
flanked from both sides. Yeah, you sure you ain't Irish?
That was the when you go, so you did this
or we caught you doing this or your report card so it's so cold.
Yeah, and you're like, bro, I realized years later
where you get ambushed.
You get ambushed, bro.
I was eating with my shoulders up and really fast.
And I was like, and I was like,
yeah, I was like, oh, this is like old trauma
that I got to like relax when you take a bite,
put your fork down, chill.
Because I was eating like a fucking animal
because that was the most stressful situation.
And the fuck out of Don, dude.
Yeah, exactly.
I got to hit the biggest guy at the table.
Yeah.
Mom, bang!
Hey, your dad, what you're trying?
That says, That's my cornbread.
Oh, damn.
Any specific delicacies that your mom would put out, did she have any home run hits?
Oh, my parents' great cook.
Really good.
Okay, you said your dad was Haitian or my religious.
Yeah, just regular Canadian.
Her background was like French and Dutch and shit, but that never really came into the
mix.
But both big on cooking
Like Christmas dinners all the stuff huge or house everything made from scratch
Oh, bro like wait like Christmas time my mom would make all these desserts and shit
There was like P campuffs which were like these little balls that had like
Peacans and all this shit in it and it was like dough should make this stuff
I can't remember the fuck was called but it was like a bark where it was like a caramel base
That was hard and it had almonds slivers in it and then melted chocolate on top and it was broken into all these little pieces.
It's called crack. Yes. Yes.
Yeah.
Now down here, they call it crack. It's...
Oh, there's something they have on the navel too.
Saltine crackers are on the bottom usually.
We didn't do it with the saltine, but I know what you're talking about.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it would, like, all the butter tarts. So you guys don't really have butter tarts here. Butter but I know what you're talking about. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And it would like all the buttertarts
You guys don't really have buttertarts here buttertarts. You get an ionized
Buttertarts basically like a mini peak empire. Okay. Yeah, and all this shit made from scratch, bro
It's nice and then we would do Haitian food for the Christmas dinner
So we do like that'sy nay, which is like it's basically like cheese past a meat cheese past a meat
Lombie, which is like a conch shell,
a curried goat, a rice and peas, all this shit.
Like, all like, boom, homerun hits.
Dude, tons of great fucking food in the house.
Okay, love that.
Did you guys ever watch any TV as a family?
Would you watch shows together?
We were big, big TV house.
We would, like, the news was always on when the news was on.
Sure.
We would do like the office and stuff.
Reality TV was big in the house.
My mom was a big survivor person.
Who wasn't at that time though?
Man, I took the world by storm.
Watching survivors are family.
That's all right.
Survivor was huge.
My parents both loved anything where people get hurt.
If someone's gonna, one of my,
I like their marriage.
Yes.
One of my earliest memories.
Yeah, I was like maybe four.
I'm on a seesaw.
I eat it off of the seesaw and fall into the wood chips.
And I'm like kind of stunned and dazed.
And I'm young enough where I'm like,
I'm kind of waiting for my mom to come pick me up.
And then no one comes.
And I realize I kind of got to take, I get up,
I brush myself off.
And I realize no one has come because I can see my mom.
And she's keeled over like on all fours laughing so hard
that she physically can come here.
She's in jackets.
She's about to steal though.
I wonder why you're cool around bullshark.
Yeah.
I'm like, yeah, you guys don't know I came up man.
She ever been on a sea saw this ain't shit for me.
What were the family vacations like?
Rolling up. Bro toxic.
Man, we're like 400 episodes and that's the best response.
Yeah, do away games. Dude, yeah, no, the family vacations were a burden.
We would go together, no one wanted to go together. I remember one time me, it was just me, my dad, my mom.
We drove down from Vancouver all the way down to California
to go Disneyland.
So it's like a multi-day drive.
Okay.
And we're driving, we're stopping, my parents are getting like-
Kind of far we talking.
This was a Jeep fucking, what was it called?
Uh, fuck.
Parachute?
No, no, wasn't the Cherokee.
Wrangler. No, it, wasn't the Cherokee.
Wrangler.
No, it was one that was like a little bit more like family oriented.
Oh, the wagon here?
No.
Fuck what was it called?
I remember it as an SUV.
It was SUV, as yeah.
Wasn't that weird thing the Jeep used to make with the big tires, wasn't it?
No, I don't think so.
Fuck, I can't remember the name of this, but it was for sure a Jeep.
Okay.
My mom was crazy about this car because she got like a free car every three years with her job.
All right.
It was like a drive and meeting people and shit.
Um, but we drove all the fucking way down.
Okay.
And a part way.
Was it this thing?
No, no, no.
Wasn't that was more modern.
Think like this would have been, I would have been like 10, so this would be like 2004,
and this car was pretty new. So whatever Jeep was cooking out in around like 2014-2005. Okay. I would have been like 10, so this would be like 2004,
and this car was pretty new.
So whatever Jeep was cooking out in around like 2014-155.
Okay.
So good car.
Good car.
Nice car.
Yeah, it was a good car.
Okay.
So we were like maybe halfway down to California,
maybe a little closer, and my mom's in like a mood today.
And she's just kind of like cooking, and my dad's like like a mood today. And she's just kind of like cooking,
and my dad's like, whoa, whatever.
And she goes like, what's going on today?
And he's like, I don't know.
And she's like, it's my birthday.
Oh, yeah.
And he's winging a mess.
And my dad goes, isn't it on Tuesday?
And she goes, no, and and he goes I'm sticking with Tuesday
Respect that his feet his heels are dug in
Legendary move by my dad
Man you got sticking with twos talk about shaking things
We're stuck in a car together for the next fucking, I don't know how many days then,
a Disney Land together, god damn.
Did you remember her birthday?
Oh no, I did not.
I absolutely did not.
I don't remember birthdays, that's,
I got them from my dad.
Oh, yeah.
Yikes.
You remember your first concert?
Um, first concert.
Fuck.
I think I went to see White Clefft john with my dad that was pretty good yeah
that was the first one i want to go see at his height i would imagine yeah yeah yeah i remember
white cleft white cleft was like the middle act but he stole the show you fucking killed it
and he came out in like a super talent oh he's crazy talented dude at one point he was like
playing the guitar with his teeth and then he brought a lady on stage and played the guitar
with his teeth in her lap.
To be like, yo, I mean, you're supposed to do
kind of thing, yeah.
Like, it's like a like-
Yeah.
He came out in like a luchador mask and like a rope,
like a wrestler walked through the crowd,
got on stage, then took off his,
his robe and he was wearing a, a Connux L'Hongo jersey.
And people went like,
I'm fucking nuts.
Yeah, dude, it was like fucking.
I know how to work a crack.
God damn show man.
Yeah.
Huh.
Ever been bit by any animals?
Snake, lizard birds, anything like that?
Oh yeah.
When I was scooped I even once I got bit by this green moray.
So there was a moray eel.
Yeah, yeah.
So there was this green moray that was always in the same spot.
And she was like very friendly but she was huge. She's probably like five feet long
Yeah, they had that real thick fucking out on a real thick head. It's like a Mac truck coming at you
So I saw this more so many times I built a little bit of a relationship with it like I would
Well, that's the homie, dude
Yeah, what's up, Charles?
Oh, what's up, dude?
Damn, dude, what's your problem?
We were boys, man.
We were boys.
But I came through one time, like I would come through and you would put your hand in
front of the morris face and pull it out.
Why?
And she would follow it.
So she'd come out of the cave.
So the-
Get the fuck outta here.
The people was diving with him, like, look, you can see this whole morris.
She would never fuck around,
but we went one time and she was real aggressive,
like keeping her mouth open.
And maybe she had kids or eggs
or some shit in there she was protecting.
I'm gonna bad day.
I haven't a bad day.
Somebody forgot her birthday.
Yeah.
I'm sticking with Tuesday.
I'm sticking with Tuesday.
I'm just scared.
Oh.
But when I put my hand in to fucking bring her out, she bit. Ugh. Ugh. But when I put my hand into fucking bring her out,
she bit down on my hand.
And then she didn't shake, try to bite it off, she bit,
and then held there for a second released,
and then went back to the same position.
And I was like, all right, I'll fuck off.
Wait, I don't know.
Not too bad.
There was like a little,
I think there's still a little bit of a scar there.
Was it on this hand?
No, I think it was this one.
I don't think you need me,
oh yeah, there it is.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There was like fucking out. Just like a little hole. Yeah, it was a little hole it wasn't bad like it didn't feel good, but yeah, yeah, that was that's the most significant animal bite I ever had
Yeah, that's that's not great. Did you have a car up there when you were a kid? No, I never got a car
My dad let me drive his truck around for a little bit.
You never owned a car.
Never owned a car.
No, no, no.
I had my like learners,
like you're basically like your stage one
driving license thing,
and then I got to like the stage two,
and then I started traveling,
and I lost everything I had to start from scratch.
So do you have a license?
I have a license now.
I went and got my, when I was in Toronto,
I got my license.
So you have a Canadian license, no, no New York license. When's the first time you you have a license? I have a license now. I wouldn't got my when I was in Toronto. I got my license. So you have a Canadian license. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Yes.
When's the first time you were on a plane? First time I was on a plane. Shit, I was, I was definitely young.
My parents got me flying at a young age. One of my earliest flights I think was to Chicago to go
visit some family. But I was so young. I don't really remember the flight. So then you had your
passport too, a young. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My parents got me they that one thing they were like you learn how to swim you're getting a passport like
Little life things that are like sure pain in the ass to do when you're older learn how to ride a bike all that kind of shit
They got they're like we're getting all this done. We're in all this you're not you're never gonna have to fight to get your passport
Your fucking social security number all that shit. It's all fucking dot. away. Yeah, okay, I respect that. They really prepared you.
Yeah.
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Did you play hockey as a kid?
No, I was a boxer.
I boxed it.
What?
You did?
Yeah, I boxed from the age of 12 to 16 on a team.
No, it would look like you're at a gym.
Okay.
Yeah, you're at a gym and you like boxer.
You guys a gym and I had a 12 amateur fights.
I did.
I went to the fuck out of here.
Henny to throw in.
That's Toby get the myths.
Let's see what he's made up.
Damn.
Holy shit.
Cause you're a pretty big dude.
You're a man of statue.
I was Paul right here.
I'm I'm no I'm orthodox.
I'm orthodox.
Okay.
But yeah, I bought you two and us up.
I haven't fought in a long time.
I started taking some Muay Thai classes recently. Oh, yes
Muay Thai is that near Seattle what are we talking about?
Damn all right, yeah man
Have you ever had to use your your your boxing knowledge in real life?
Because you seem like a real chill late back. No, I've never been in a street fight.
I got jumped one time when I was a kid.
I was hanging out with two buddies.
I had a morade.
I couldn't do anything.
My hands really put weapons.
You're lucky that he's a registered.
Yeah.
No, the eel came back with some friends.
Two yellow.
Quick, grab the scuba gear.
But yeah, I got jumped one time and a guy punched me in the face a couple times.
And I was with two girls and he was with like four dudes.
And I just kind of like, you punched me and he was like, you'll fuck you dude.
I like gave his girlfriend a high five, didn't know his girlfriend was my first time meeting
these people.
No idea.
And he punched me a couple times in the face and then I was just kind of like, yo, and I
was like, I just walked away.
Sure.
Cause I'm like, yeah, it's a five on one.
Self-preservation at that point. Yeah, I'm like, like I'm just taking off. These brawls can fucking roll
Yo, how's your jiu-jitsu Sally been training up?
Hey Tina you take the big one
Let's talk about now a little bit. Mm-hmm. Uh
You got your own place so you got roommates. So I got my own place, yeah.
Nice.
One bedroom, New York.
I've been living on my own for a while now.
Things are going well.
Things are going well.
Like once the brand deals started coming in for the social
and I started in the room.
It's a brand deals.
It was fucking sick.
Nice.
Like, you know, you start stand up and you don't know
where it's gonna go.
You think it's going nowhere, essentially.
And I was always like, I'm like, I'm just gonna keep
focuss on getting funnier and I'm just gonna keep focus on getting funnier
And I'm just gonna keep working and now I'm making more money than ever thought I would make
I'm not making like an insane like I'm gonna fucking buy a boat or something
But I don't worry for shit. I can save like the opportunity to buy a house is in my future
Right that's amazing. Yeah, of course good shit. Yeah, have you made any stupid purchase or anything?
You look back and like I didn't you got your first check or anything?
Oh, I don't I'm really not like I don't buy shit really like you a saver. I'm a saver
I like I spend I try to reinvest in the career like I need a pain editor
I need to hire these people
Sure, anything my big purchase after my first road run where I like made money when I first came to the States
Was a TV I got a nice TV.
And I always I stand by a nice TV is like the most important part of the house.
Sure. Well, you still got that same TV. Oh, yeah, that TV's not any year old yet. Yeah.
Nice. Just got that bad boy. Like, oh, I love it, bro. 55. What are you talking about? I think
it's like a 65. Yeah. It's a bike in a one bedroom, too. It's like it's my 65 and my beds right?
What is the uh, let's talk about the apartment a little bit.
What's the bed? Is it a king queen single?
What did we got? It's a king, but I moved.
Good man. When I moved in there, it was already there.
I would have gone queen because just there's not a lot of space.
Oh, sorry. I'm sorry. Back that up. Yeah.
You say you when you moved into the apartment, the bed was already there.
It was already there. Yeah. How?
Was it the thing that make sense.
So when I moved in, there were like,
oh, girl who lived here before, she's Russian
and she had to leave to go get her like paperwork fixed
and so she could come back to America.
So I think this one like the Ukraine shit was like popping off.
So she, she's going list.
Take my bid.
So she left a bunch of shit, booby traps.
She left a bunch of shit behind
But I moved to New York with like two suitcases in a backpack
So you needed a bed anyway. Yeah, so I was like they were like oh we'll take it out of here
And I was like I leave it. It was a girl like it's like it can only be so it does it a girl's bed
It's a lot of course. Yeah, you check that for bed bugs. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I checked
I checked the bad boy checked the place everything was good and I was like all right. We're good. We're cooking on this
That's good. I mean that's that's a blemish in the wreck.
That's a show, but it is a king.
It's a king size bed.
It's a king.
It's a king.
Also, if there's a king size bed.
More of a Kaiser.
I didn't.
Nothing on that.
I think that's German.
I think it is.
Aren't they Zarr?
Zarr, yeah, yeah.
Okay, so you got the king size bed.
Yeah.
What's the case?
It's the comforter situation.
The comforter, just a regular shit from Target.
I'm a simple man.
Okay.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I've just got the regular sheets and stuff from Target.
Okay.
I throw that on there.
We're good.
How many pillows are on there, too?
Two pillows.
You got two pillows, one for me, one for when there's a guest.
Has anybody else picked up?
He says milk and pillow just like fully.
Oh, yeah, you do that too.
You do that too. the ease in there.
Yeah.
Milk and pillow.
I've been called on that several times.
I just pillow when I glass a milk.
Yeah, dude.
So you only sleep with one pillow.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
On your side or on your back.
I'm a back sleeper.
Yeah.
You sleep on your back.
Man, that's real vampire.
With one pillow.
One pillow on the back in the king size, usually usually, yeah, right in the center, man.
That's what I'm doing.
So I walk into your room,
you're laying there like this.
I don't know if the hands would be on the chest.
So fucking vampire.
It's got his dukes on the block.
Yeah, your hands on your side?
Yeah, maybe on the side.
Maybe they're kind of like throwing about a little bit.
Like, I might be maybe leaning to one side more than the other.
Like, it's not a perfect line.
I'm not coming out of it like a coffin.
Like I just raise up.
Like the other taker.
Yeah.
Okay, got an AC unit in there.
Oh, I got two.
Okay.
Two in the room or two in the apartment?
Two in the apartment.
So it's a studio.
So it's just like everything's just fine.
Damn, he got poo cranking in the stoo.
So I had a, that's chilly.
I had to get one right away when I moved there
because it was a brutal summer super hot.
People who don't live in New York don't
know it's fucking gets brutal.
It's like stinky, sweaty, smells like piss everywhere.
Like, so you're like, I got to cool this place off.
But then my neighbor, she got a new one
and I like bring her packages up for her and stuff.
And so she was like, oh, I'm getting like, do you want this?
Like, I was like, all right, I'll put in the window.
So sometimes when it's cooking real hot,
or I don't leave them on when I'm not there or anything,
I come back, turning both on in the whole place
is cool, Bob.
Studio apartment with a decent air conditioner.
Man, that's really cool in the down.
Oh, yeah, that's all right.
Okay, you sleep with a TV on when you go to bed.
No, I'm pitch black.
I got my blackout curtains, sometimes I wear an eye mask. I'm a big like, you sleep with a TV on when you go to bed. No, I'm pitch black. I got my blackout curtain sometimes I wear an I mask.
I'm a big like I sleep.
So the arms cross question wasn't insane.
Yeah, that's your name.
It's kinda like, you're in a studio apartment.
You're all by yourself.
Yeah.
You have blackout curtains.
Yeah.
When you go to bed, it's completely dark in there.
Completely dark.
I've wear the sleep mask.
I turn on the AC.
It's gotta be cold in the room.
Like I'm big on all my like sleep hygiene
in quotations that I gotta sleep really well.
You're sleeping in a used bed, so I was like,
that's not fucking quote hygiene.
Okay, what are we talking about?
But man, that's confidence, that's not a lot of things
I'd be able to go to bed like,
I'm man, I'm on a five story walk-up.
You wanna come up and fucking kill me?
Go, go nuts, come up, come up and catch these hands.
He's so good to blindfold on.
Being grown hooks.
And you're also you're down on cardio by the time you get there.
I'll take you to deep water.
I'm fresh and ready to go.
I'll take you to 12th round, baby.
10 and 2, pussy, 10 and 2.
Let's see them legs.
All right, man, that's wild.
I'll take into deep water
When a scuba background that's it double-hitter
Give you the bends I'll take you to more raise. What are you sleeping in what are you I'm I sleep? Oh nude. I'm on button
I just sleep with the button naked with a mask on. Yeah, it's crazy
That dude you're not I think back everything I said you were cool. You're just a crazy person sleep at nude with a mask on
What the pitch black
32 degrees
Man if a burglar did walk in they went back to fuck out immediately
I don't know what this guy's in too, but I don't want a big engine hop floating around fucking take the mask off the ice man.
I can scuba gear next to the fridge.
Jesus.
Holy shit man.
Man, this one's from a cool to cycle.
Real quick.
He leaves the door open.
Come on in.
If you dare, thanks to encouraging jammers, welcome them.
Crazy jerk. Yeah. Man. What about the shower? Come on in if you dare like to encourage and jitters welcome crazy
Jerve the whole
Oh man, what about the shower shower you peeing in the shower? Oh, yeah, brushing your teeth in there
Sometimes not all the time I got the electric guy so I don't like to bring it in the shower
I'm gonna fuck it up. What's that electric toothbrush look like? Is there a lot of is there a lot of coding on that?
I don't know so I'm really good about rinsing it off because I had one before and it started to look like a horror show.
Those things, Kate puts down.
Yeah, dude, I left one at my buddy's house one time, my buddy Pat.
It was mine and then I was like,
I was just going back the next week and he brought it to me.
He's like, do me a change this.
Yeah.
This is really fucking bad.
Looks fossilized.
It's gonna be, it looks a lot of calcium.
The level of pain on it.
A couple of stalagtides.
It's real, man.
Got the landlord specialist.
It's a little white paint over this map.
Oh, man.
Oh, god.
Cool.
You're flossing?
You're flossing your paint?
I'm big flosser, yeah, yeah.
Big floss, god.
There's certain things, like, I'm like,
I constantly like walk that line of like,
being a horrible piece of shit
and like trying to be as good as possible.
Sure.
So like eating clean and stuff,
like right now I'm on a real good clean kick,
but as soon as I have like two tequila sodas,
I'll be like fucking jerking off
and ordering Uber Eats and stand a battle day.
Like that'll be the next thing.
All in the Uber.
Yeah.
That's pretty cool.
You're cooking, I assume.
Cooking at the house.
Yeah, cook.
I'm not cooking anything too fancy.
I got one of those.
Keeping it tight.
Yeah.
Chicken breast and something.
Exactly.
One thing I did, a big expense I bought was I bought like nice beef I
got like frozen beef brought in from like a grass-finished farm so it's like
good quality fucking god you yeah respect I got a full-size fridge in there
for each and freezer yeah full-size fridge for you guys over electric stove
yes okay yeah cooking on the gas. Love it.
Okay, okay.
Where do you eat now?
You make your grass finish beef and broccoli.
Is there a little table in there?
No, little tables.
I'm either standing, there's like a little countertop.
I'm eating there or I go right to the bed.
And I'm just fucking learning about it.
There's no couch in there.
Oh yeah.
There's no couch in the apartment house.
No couch, no.
It's just the bed in a TV.
Bed TV, like it's got the TV stand, I got a dresserer and then I have like my whole computer set up on top of the dresser
So I've like a standing desk kind of scenario. Yeah
That's real that's real true detective vibes right there
I got that guys there's a lot of red red yarn in there
From picture to picture. Is it like a gaming PC? Is there a lot of like RGB lights in your eye?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I just got this bad boy.
It's like a full, like it's got a 4070 in it or something.
Like it's a beast.
He's a huge fucking nerd.
Yeah, yeah.
It's a 70.
Video games, that's one thing with the TV.
Like one of my big indulgences.
My big indulgences are like booze, food, porn, and games.
Those are like the things that's everybody.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Just a regular guy. You got
the PS5 or your Xbox PS5 PS5 because all the Xbox stuff you can get on on PC now. So I just
fucking rock the PC and PS5. And then I have a switch run or travel. Well you're always playing
video games as a kid. Did you have all that shit when you were a kid? Yeah. One of my earliest
memories is playing NES. Like I am we lived in a house from the time I was like,
one to four, and I remember in that house playing the NES.
Like, one of the Simpsons games back in the day.
Yeah.
Wait, you said one to four, and then where did you move?
Then we moved, so we lived in Port Moody.
You won't know where that, but then we moved to like,
I lived the most of my childhood.
And that was a house.
Yeah, I was a very nice house.
Okay. You got a favorite serial Yeah, I was having a couch. Yeah, yeah. Okay.
You got a favorite cereal?
Oh, Cinnamon Toast Crunch.
100% Cinnamon Toast Crunch.
That's a man.
That's a man.
You have a favorite flavor of Pringles.
Oh, I'm not a big Pringles guy.
Okay.
I'm not crazy.
Usually when I go chips, I like a sour cream and onion.
That's my go-to or barbecue.
Those are like a-
What's your brand if you're indulging and you- What and you what's like I'm gonna indulge I gotta get
I like those ketchup chips that they have in Canada we do have ketchup chips I'm not crazy with the
ketchup chips we do have them but I'm like how they're whatever um I like um uh do you guys
don't really have ruffles down here yeah yeah ruffles I have fucking fuck circle in here and
grow up on ruffles okay you guys can we get Toby's right here
Circle and here and grow up on ruffles. Okay, you guys can we get Toby's right here
Fucking ruffles built this country young man
sit here and take this as you know
sour cream and cheddar shout out to it, but you don't have all dressed you don't have all dressed ruffles That's that's a Canadian champs wedding
Because the whole boat died All dressed ruffles.
I've been dying to try these.
Really?
Yes.
Actually, Kate, was like everything?
It's like everything.
It's like kind of like vinaigree,
but also kind of barbecue-y.
Like there's a bunch of shit going on on it.
Totally.
They take every flavoring they have.
Salt and vinegar, ketchup, barbecue,
and they put it on one chip.
Yeah, here.
Why the fuck don't we got that shit down here?
All dressed chips by ruffles are exactly what they sound like.
Potato chips flavor with all the dressings.
Catch up salt vinegar, barbecue, sour cream, onion,
and other mystery seasonings.
Yeah.
What the fuck?
They need order me some chips.
Bro, fuck catch up chips, catch up chips.
They ain't got shit on the Ruffles all dressed.
Oh, that's a fucking chip.
Holy shit.
Yeah.
Ooh, that's pretty good. This guy's eating tux. Yeah. That's pretty good.
This guy's eating tuxedo chips.
I'm pretty crazy.
Holy.
Have you drank out of a water fountain in the last 365 days?
I don't think so.
Maybe I have.
There's always one of the gym.
So like you, you're fucking you.
Okay.
Jim, I'll give you.
Yeah.
Are there any milk crates in your apartment right now?
No, okay.
You wash your fruit if you get fruit.
No.
I feel like I should but I never do.
Any magnets on the fridge?
Not now.
There was.
I used to have my old place.
I the magnets didn't make it but I used to have magnets and then my nieces sent like
made me little cards like hey, we love you Uncle Che like happy birthday and like sent them
to nice and those were up on the fridge. Pretty close to the family now, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeahulche, like happy birthday and like, send him to the night. And those were up on the fridge.
Pretty close with the family now, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Absolutely. Good, good, good.
Oh, sorry.
No, please.
How many pairs of dress shoes do you own?
One.
One.
You got any suits?
No.
Do you know how to tie a tie?
No.
You own a belt?
Yes.
If you had a, if you had, if you had,
if you had somebody was like,
hey, I have a corporate gig tomorrow.
Yeah.
It pays, something that you go, I gotta dress nice.
What do you have currently in your wardrobe that you would
string together?
Or you're running out.
I have one like look that is like this nice pair of dress man.
I need to see this look.
This like, start with a nice sleep mask. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie.
I'm not gonna lie.
I'm not gonna lie.
I'm not gonna lie.
I'm not gonna lie.
I'm not gonna lie.
I'm not gonna lie.
I'm not gonna lie.
I'm not gonna lie.
I'm not gonna lie.
I'm not gonna lie.
I'm not gonna lie.
I'm not gonna lie.
I'm not gonna lie.
I'm not gonna lie.
I'm not gonna lie.
I'm not gonna lie.
I'm not gonna lie.
I'm not gonna lie.
I'm not gonna lie.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. Oh the dress pants dress pants. They're like pair slacks. Yeah, because you put a blazer on over it and not look like Yeah, no, you know, you would look you look where did you get this? Oh
Fuck where did I get it? I was with a I was dating a girl at the time
It was her brother's wedding and she took me to this place and there were I was like I need clothes and they were like
All right, where was the wedding at it was the only one not wearing a sport coat?
No, I don't think so. Okay. It was in
Regina Saskatchewan. That's not anything, no.
Regina.
No, that's next to it.
The city that rhymes was fun.
That's the classic Regina.
Right, it's the Jeterine town.
Nothing on that.
What have been rooter is down there?
Okay, all right. Did you say it was in the summer? No, it wasn't in the summer. What have been rooter is down? Okay.
Did you say it was in the summer?
No, it wasn't in the summer.
No sport coat in a wetting.
No sport coat, yeah.
The winner.
Yeah, no, it was definitely, I remember there's snow on the ground.
There was definitely snow on the ground.
And Regina's a cold place too.
I've been there.
You got to heat it up a little bit.
A little bit of four-play.
Well, you were in a t bit a little bit of four play. What do you do?
Yeah.
Well, you were in a t-shirt underneath this dress shirt.
No, I think I just went dress shirt bare on the skin.
Okay.
Good.
Good.
Man, you want to-
Did you guys give a gift at that wedding?
Ooh, I don't care so far enough.
I didn't-
This was like, before you were making a location.
This was before it was making a location.
I was still, I was broke as hell back then.
Got you.
We did get one bottle of tequila
because I was making our parents for the first time
and I got our parents like a nice bottle of tequila.
Did you?
Yeah, yeah, I did that.
All right.
Half drunk.
Yeah.
Yeah, this is what I get.
You guys better hurry up.
Yeah.
You want to pull off this.
Okay.
All right.
So you do a lot of traveling now now are you TSA pre-check?
No, I can't get it because I'm Canadian.
What's a deal?
So you have to have like a mayor, either your green card.
Yeah, at least a green card to get the pre-check.
I could do like global entry, but to get global entry
is gonna be like fucking 18 months or something.
And by then I'll probably have my green card.
Yeah, sure.
Okay, yeah, but I would love to do pre-check man
You put in the seat back when you get on the plane always always the whole seat back no yes, no
I'm like you put the it it has the function out of the back it goes back we do it the guy I hate on the fucking plane
The one who opens the window. I can't stand that drives me crazy. What are we all doing on the plane?
We're all looking at screens are sleeping
That's what we're doing. We need darkness and needs to be fucking how you are. Oh you're a fuck you
Oh, dude. I'm like him in the high that he's looking up and bad looking for you
Yeah, I got a little UFO check when I get up there. Yeah
Just in case I over something cool. We saw the over day and we flew to Lagus
That was pretty sweet. I like the idea that you don't keep it open always you're like I'm gonna catch him I'm gonna have UFO sense
Yeah, just when they think I'm sleeping
Like the guy in the spaceship is like
Just so
Tommy I have turned of the wheels all right
Oh, board a board. All right, buddy. Pulled over.
He's always been drinking
You bring food on the plane. Sometimes. Yeah, I'll grab some snacks. Anything
egregious like you're not bringing like a burger. No, no package good. Yeah. Well, I'm a big
pistachio guy like a good
Like him in the shell. I like if I can get him without the shell. I'm without the shell. I guy like a good good man. You like him in the shell?
I like if I can get him without the shell,
get him without the shell.
I'll be lazy.
You ever do the red ones?
No, I've never had the red ones.
Yeah, the real old school.
Yeah, they're dyed pink.
For some reason, yeah.
My stepdad and his mouth would be all pink
around the holidays.
Just the show and these are just fucking cooking them.
Just to go back to the seat thing.
Will you give a heads up or are you jamming it back?
I do like a slow, like I'm like it's coming.
And this isn't at meal time, right?
The train's gonna be down.
Yeah, all right.
I do, I like ease into it.
Okay.
You sitting first class or still in the back?
I still in the back.
I never, I never grabbed the first class.
I'm like it's good enough.
Will you ever go up?
Is there, is there, is there, will you like, all right, I'll get there never grabbed the first class. I'm like, it's good enough. Will you ever go up? Is there a, is there, is there,
will you like, all right, I'll get there?
Are you looking forward to it or going,
I'm a back of, I'm a back of the bus canning.
Sometimes I pass it like,
I think if I start doing crazy long flights,
like if, I can do six hours in the back,
and like, that's across the country.
So that's fine.
It's like, if I'm doing,
if I start flying to like,
Europa lot or something,
I'm doing nine hour flights,
then maybe I'll do it.
If I do something, I go to Japan once,
maybe I'll pay for the first class.
Okay.
Is that where you'd like to go?
Is that a problem?
I would love to go to Japan.
Yeah, Japan seems cool as fuck.
You doing any vacations now as you got in a way,
you're done anything?
So I got one coming up at the end of the month.
I'm going to Greece for a wedding.
First time ever going to Europe.
Fantastic.
Going to Greece.
What are you going to Greece?
Went? Yeah. I'm leaving the 25th. I'm there going to Europe. Fantastic. Going to Greece. What are you going to Greece? Went.
Yeah.
I'm leaving the 25th.
I'm there for a week, so I got like three days in Athens
that I'm going to create to keep meet the wedding party.
Nice.
Then I got a 24 hours in Amsterdam,
and then I'm taking off to Berlin.
Who are you?
You are going to miss that flight to Berlin, dude.
Oh, yeah.
Who you have not been with
and that's kind of wedding and creep?
My buddy Andrew, who's actually a guy
who would go on the road with in Canada,
we did a bunch of tours together.
So he's like an old comedy buddy.
Nice.
And he's getting married.
He's been with the same girl since like he was like 16.
Like only girls have been with high school sweetheart
kind of thing.
Wedding and grease.
And grease man.
Big hands.
Yeah, but I'm like, I've never been,
you're gonna have to get a new pair of slacks for that one.
Are you gonna to get weird?
Oh yeah, I'm going to go to that place KitKat.
Yeah.
KitKat's just like 24 hour sex club that you can go to and you're just going fuck a bunch.
And I'm meeting this girl there who like a girl had messaged me off of, she actually
emailed me but the email goes to my manager.
My manager sent me this thing.
Hey, this chick wants to fuck you.
She was like, it was basically like a few pictures of her nothing like nude or anything
But she was like hey my name Sarah. I'm from Iceland. I'm in my eat prey love era
I just like I would love to meet up with you and she's cute as hell and then I was so we started talking and then she's like
I go to Berlin a lot. I was like well
I'm going to Greece if I go to Berlin will you meet me there?
She's like yeah, I'll come meet you a Berlin and so I'm gonna go meet her and Berlin and then yeah
We're gonna fucking get weird fucking cool pretty got a good one
Yeah, line it up got a line up in the fucking dream
I'm checking on museums and fucking scooganheimer like you are
I don't know so where in your apartment do you have your ratus Canadian award?
Yeah, is that in your
Radis Canadian you're the radis Canadian
You rolled it I've been, I've been living, I've been living.
Yeah, it's all right.
You're a younger guy too, how old are you?
33?
31.
31.
What's a credit score like?
No clue.
So in Canada, I never built credit.
See, minus.
Yeah.
I just need a 51.
You know, you got credit cards?
Now I do.
So I started building credit in America.
Now it's like fresh start.
Sure.
In Canada, I never built credit.
What's the credit limit, you know?
Oh, my credit card.
So I had to get like, because I'm brand new.
Sure, yeah.
We just went, I mean, we went to do it.
I had to get like a safe card.
We believe in our whole lives.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So that was like, no, we just, we just went through all this like 18 months ago.
Oh, really?
You guys just got into the credits this year.
Yeah.
So I, yeah, it was like 5,000. It was the limit. I didn't. We just we just went through all this like 18 months. Oh really you guys just got into the credits this. Yeah, so I yeah
It was like 5,000 was the limit. Yeah, they started me a 200 really
100 bucks. Damn. I just it was like I just hit the like seven or eight months in order now
It's like seven or something great. What do you what are you rocking? What do you got?
MX you got master card visa. I'm visa visa. There's a man
Yeah, do you have a specific carrier that you like to fly to Delta?
Do you have a Delta card? No, I got a Delta account so I get the points. Okay, but yeah, I don't have a Delta card
Does any of those credit cards in your wallet have the activation stickers still on it? No, no
Okay, that's good. That's a deep cut. I had one for a long time
Okay, shit goes south.
Have you ever saved a crown royal bag?
No, I've never saved a crown royal bag. I'm not a big crown royal guy. Yeah, I'm a tequila drinker.
Send Venmo requests?
No, Venmo's not big in Canada. We have a deal.
It's a zel man. I just went through this.
Yeah, I know. I know my zel.
Yeah, he's like, give me your zel and I was like,
I don't even know what email it is.
I like zeal because zeal is the same as what we have in Canada.
It's e-transfer, which is right from bank to bank.
And every banking Canada uses it and it's free.
Yeah.
You know like Venmo or nothing like that up there.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Let me ask you this.
All right, let's say you go out to dinner with a young lady.
Yeah.
You go out to dinner.
You get a salmon or whatever. She a young lady. Yeah, you got to dinner. You get a salmon. Yeah, or whatever.
She orders a pizza. Yeah, like a pizza for herself. Yeah, do you find that strange?
If you order the pizza as an entree, no, I don't find that strange. Okay.
This guy checks out.
It gives me shit. Toby. Cut that.
He gives me shit. Toby?
Cut that.
Yeah, now you're dying on that one.
T-bone, I have executive cut.
It stays.
I have final cut.
Oh man.
How many bathing suits do you own?
One.
Okay.
It's probably a pair of basketball shorts.
No, I have one legit bathing suit that I got for free.
My buddy had like this fashion brand that he's trying to blow up and he's like, you
want a pair?
And I was like, yeah, that's all I've got.
Undies, what are you doing? I buy them by the bag, like through to the loom kind of shit.
Yeah,
I got loose bag. Oh, yeah. Yeah, just like, you get a gross of him.
He buy him by the palms. I go through him. I'm a boxer brief guy. Like I like the leg
coverage. Sure. Yeah. Of course.
How about you got silverware at the house. I got one fork
That's like what are what are we even doing
How also this Canadian spy's the
Working for the company. Yeah, did you steal that no? No, no, it was there when I got there.
So, is that?
Oh, that's it.
So, rap.
Holy shit, dude.
There was like a few things.
Because how do you come across one for you?
You can't find one.
You can't say it.
The girl left behind a few things.
There was like two forks and like a knife.
And I'm not crazy.
And I think I threw out one by accident.
And I even, when I first moved there
Wasn't cooking at all
I was only you know and then when I started cooking I opened the oven for the first time after like six or seven months
A living there and I found a frying pan. I was like oh, I got a pan now
Still living like a homeless guy
The steak that was in it was pretty good
Joey I mean yeah full blown trash
You buy old life you bite your nails you clip him clip him okay. Yeah, no, I don't know
I mean yeah
Color contacts in big color contacts no no color contacts. You like eggs salad?
Egg salad. Hey, I'm oh yeah. I'll eat it sometimes. Yeah
If you guys if you want like the real like a real garbage thing about me. Yeah, please. I've had chlamydia six times
Check please
That's the most probably garbage thing about me six times. Yeah, yeah, it's like I just would
about me six times yeah yeah yeah it's like I just would I don't know I don't know man what the hell trying to get it who gets it six times
just kept popping up for like a little while the same girl I don't know what's
going on yeah man a hundred percent Canadian garbage yeah but you're killing it
yeah wild life wild life break career, no this guy has lived at 31
Yeah, no, it's been good. Good Jesus
Damn the toxic vacations the eel the Russian bed. Yeah, the one for one for
The dog sounded nice though
You guys had it for a little bit in the early 2000s, that's the whole fellow part.
Man.
Holy shit.
Yeah, no, definitely, yeah.
No, I figured out that's how it's gonna play out.
Yeah.
I did, Jim.
I pre-approved myself as part of this.
But a $10,000 credit limit.
Yeah, you're the Michael Jordan of Flamedia.
Yeah.
Look, I always got rings on me.
Six chips.
I got my own shoe. Yeah. Oh six chips. I got my own shoe
It's like a condom brand
Chader analesian general fantastic 100% Canadian garbage fucking fantastic comedian buddy
You're killing it. Uh-huh fucking we love you man. That was just so much fun. What do you got what do you got coming up?
You want to play any dates any whatever does you got? What do you got coming up? You want to start? Yeah, plug it. Why any dates any
What does it matter? That's you right there. Oh, that's right there. Okay. Yeah, I'm so I'm gonna be in
Fort Wayne, Indiana in
September also I'm gonna be Austin in September, Raleigh in September. We got Denver coming up
Fucking what else is cooking? Oh, we got all the Midwest shit, Wisconsin.
We're doing Madison and Appleton.
And we also got Minneapolis is coming.
And then some December shit hasn't been announced yet.
But we're gonna have Jersey in there.
We're gonna have Connecticut in there.
And there's one other place I can't remember.
Those tickets aren't live.
But if you're in those areas, fucking...
Chummin' a water.
Chummin' some tickets.
Yeah, kid does well.
We're doing good. We're doing good out here on the road. But congratulations. Hit some tickets. Yeah, it does well.
We're doing good.
We're doing good out here on the road.
Congratulations.
Congratulations on everything.
Super funny.
This was so much fucking fun.
Thank you, man.
I appreciate that form.
We're all over the road as well.
Shows are selling out.
We're adding them in a lot of places, but not every place.
So if you're waiting on your tickets, don't scoop them up.
Scoop them up.
Scoop them up now.
Also, Philly's already sold out.
We're kicking around the idea.
Adding another fucking showdown air.
Which we're going to need your help.
Let's get some fucking tickets gang.
We love you.
Gang, we love you.
We'll see you next week.
Also Philly's already sold out. We're kicking around the idea adding another fucking showdown air
Which we're gonna need your help. Let's get some fucking tickets gang. We love you
Gang we love you. We'll see you next week. Peace