Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Chris O'Connor: The Connecticut Kid

Episode Date: February 4, 2021

Kippy & Foley are back with stand up comedian Chris O'Connor. They talk growing up in Connecticut, eating old food, and Chris may legit be a crazy person. Its a fun one! Bonus Episodes: https://www....patreon.com/AreYouGarbage​ https://stereo.com/kevinryan​ T-Shirts: https://www.PodcastMerch.com​ Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/foleygrams/​ Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to another exciting edition of are you garbage the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash now Here are your hosts Kevin Ryan and H Foley, hey Everybody's favorite new podcast. This is our you garbage It's a show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we found out they grew up classy or if they're absolute trash I'm your host H Foley coming at you on a beautiful day down here and Tooties basement. She just got done shoveling out the car So let me tell you something. Don't park in that fucking spot or you're gonna get fucking maced I'm just telling you right now chairs out. That's exactly right. Don't come around here looking for parking
Starting point is 00:00:53 Okay, take it fucking the center city with the rest of the bozos my co-host is coming at you from right next to me Folks, I got a quick question for you. Who's tripping down the streets of the city? Smiling that everyone he sees who's reaching out to capture the moment Everybody knows it's kippy Kevin James Ryan everybody. You are really taking swings in a new intro This kid's calling for fucking holy shit Thanks so much for tuning in as always please make sure you rate review subscribe on iTunes full video available on YouTube Those numbers are true to a fucking roof
Starting point is 00:01:31 Also patreon.com you can sign up you get bonus Episodes of a yj you get episodes of hard feelings, which is me and Foley behind the curtains chopping it up a little bit Him calling me bald me calling him fat for an hour. It's a good time Highbrow content And hey, don't forget to you can download the patreon app make it easier for it to consume the content sure who went over that in the morning meeting and Every month we play with the top tier patrons. We play an episode of a yj you guys ask us questions We ask you questions a good fucking time get involved, baby. Yes, sir. Thank you so much
Starting point is 00:02:03 Nice big shout out to our producer extraordinary the fucking magic man. Now you see him now. You don't that's right Ladies and gentlemen, we call him T-bone, but his mommy named him Toby McMullin everybody. Oh shit. What up boys? Hey, buddy, I'm telling you right now You move a chair in Chicago when somebody got dibs. That's a good way to get your tires Slash, bro. Oh dude if you if you still someone's someone's shovel I'll get a good talking to you'll get a fucking I mean your windows will be smashed your car your car will be keyed North side of the south side. You don't move that chair, bro There you go. Take that shit up to Rosemont with the rest of the hippies up there. Okay. This is old town Chicago
Starting point is 00:02:36 I'm just fits it in here a little bit anybody else fits in I'm quite a little warm. I know what it is We got a fucking hot guest I got a hater. We got two little fucking star power in this dump, which I love a stroke We could not be more excited to have our incredibly special guest here with us today He is a very funny stand-up comedian podcaster and actor You know him from the hit digital series tires seen him on Matt and Shane secret podcast He has a brand new animated digital series out right now on patreon called showber hood Good-looking kid. It's got a real real rich kid hat on
Starting point is 00:03:12 You gotta have money This guy's been to a regatta Give it the fuck up for mr. Chris Nice to be here. Yeah Philly kid. Yeah Philly comedy scene Philly comedy started out. Yeah. Yeah started out in Philly was down in Philly for a while Well, you're a Connecticut kid or something. Yeah, I grew up outside and I grew up in Connecticut. Yeah That's like that's cuz Connecticut's either like really fucking dicey or nice. No, it's nice. It's nice, but I don't like it. Yeah, I don't know was it was
Starting point is 00:03:45 Connecticut's like a big town. So there's like there's like crazy rich people and then there's kind of like where we were sure You got a little bit of cash though. I Personally, I don't have any cash. No, no, my parents are doing okay, but they're also like, yeah, it's not Crazy like if you were to go to my house, you'd be like us. Yeah, really? Yeah, no boats. No, no yaks. No, my Yaks, dude, I grew up. I grew up probably like yeah, tell us the whole deal I grew up like literally 200 feet probably from the water. I think I swam in it eight times
Starting point is 00:04:21 Long Island sound. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you can't go in. I could like almost see it from my house But I yeah never went in it. It just like I don't know my my it's it's what I've been like I didn't realize I even lived in like a beach town until I moved to fill Greenwich is a beach town. It is a beach town. It's a beach. Yeah, I've never heard of anybody like I had to It ain't a beach town. It's on the water. I'll give you that Listen me and the bird we go up to Greenport, which would be across the across the sound from you And the one time we went up there. We stayed at this place That was on the water and it's not really when it had water damaged
Starting point is 00:05:04 I Caught up caught a flood and saying which ruined all my expensive clothes hence the lawsuit I have going with this establishment My knee still hurts The it's very rocky. It's not and I would like a bit yet I would have never dove into that water either dude. Yeah, I mean, that's how I remember it I remember like because they used to tell us that after it rained you couldn't go in it for like three days. Why? Just feel yeah It's turned up
Starting point is 00:05:34 Yeah, like I was I was always under the impression. It was like disgusting So this is out so you grew up outside of Greenwich. No, it was in Greenwich in progress proper Yeah, yeah, the property value even if the house isn't that yeah, yeah, it's gotta be it's gotta be over a meal Yeah, the property property is worth a lot. Yeah, yeah, but yeah, it's again It's just not that it's I don't know It's like it's like if someone comes to New York and they go into like a tiny little apartment You're like this is two thousand dollars a month. Yeah, that's true I think you'd be more like you you're paying that much
Starting point is 00:06:08 What did your parents do growing up my mom's nurse and my dad's an engineer Okay, look about us now bridges Did he do any big bridges or anything I would recognize he did Yeah He did the turnpike expansion wait wait what yeah, what turnpike the New Jersey I mean no in my house. There's only one He's pretty This kid's got surfer I do you were like the way you responded I felt like I fucked up
Starting point is 00:06:54 You you live between I Got four lanes My dad did 12 lanes one way Hold on a second That was one of the engineers that designed the New Jersey turnpike or no, no, no, he didn't design it He was a project manager. Yeah, you like work on it to make sure it's like your dad owns New Jersey Make sure the concrete's right. Yeah, yeah, whatever. Yeah, that's pretty fucking cool
Starting point is 00:07:30 Cuz I'll tell you what out of all the turnpikes Jersey turnpike is my favorite There's one of the most Roy Rogers per capita Not wrong with a Roy's at Grover Cleveland. I'll pay it out I love it. Yeah, any time I talk to someone who like lives in like central Jersey and Like old people and I tell them that my dad like worked on that. They're like, oh, we love Kids dad did the turnpike dude, you wouldn't believe the traffic I do it's just fucking straight shot to New York. You're doing like 90. Yeah, dude I I was I was one of those kids that like I we were Philly trash, right? So like I
Starting point is 00:08:12 Had been to New York like once or twice before I moved up to New York Yeah, like in my mom that has been up to New York in seven or eight years I've been living here. She's been up twice to see me like she's like New York. It might as well be fucking Pluto they're just they just don't go up and I I Remember the first time I I found out that the the turnpike had a car lane and then a truck My mind was Exploded it was the the most insane thing to me. What do you do?
Starting point is 00:08:41 I take the you take I was always a truck lane Yeah, zip around you're like fast and furious. I like you. Yeah, I like to look that way Yeah, I go truck lane every once in a while. I'll go truck lane late at night. Sometimes they'll shut down the car lane You know, they got to like do some repair on that on the horn Now wait a minute, so he helped design the New Jersey turnpike My parents are watching this right now and they're going Henry knows the guy's good who designed a New Jersey turnpike Dude Foley's just angling for comps on his road trips, dude. Can you fix tickets or what? No, he's the guy. He's got he goes down there and goes like you build this right and then the contact
Starting point is 00:09:35 Yeah, you gotta make sure that it's fine. Yeah, it's not that cold or whatever. Yeah, does he still do it now? Now he's working on a different job. He's working on Some train Connecticut through way. Yeah. No, it's back in back in North Jersey He's like lived in Jersey for like eight years or whatever. However long okay He's on There's some railroad bridge to the repairing. There's like either changing it from like a raising bridge or a rotating thing to a raising bridge Or some shit. Yeah, that's pretty fucking. Where do you go to school? He went He went to Worcester polytech
Starting point is 00:10:10 in Worcester, Mass home of the Bumblebee home of the dropout I Don't know I think he transferred to Manhattan College Yeah, not bad. All right, so that engineer mom nurse pretty good brother sisters. What's the deal? Yeah, I got an older brother. How old? He's three years old and I feel like he's probably the successful one. Yeah. He does well. Yeah. Yeah. He's like a lawyer He's doing really well. Yeah, he's doing great. Let me in Philly. Why aren't you doing some kind of production work? Yeah, I was I did like editing for pharmaceutical companies
Starting point is 00:10:52 So why did I think that your dad owned a production company? No, I thought he did I thought I worked for your dad now in a production company. No, no, my dad doesn't know Why am I dumb? Yeah, no, I have no no connection to the Rotating bridge time for Hollywood movies Okay, all right, and what about you? Did you go to you went to school at the college? I went to Drexel. Yeah, you did Now just for business or whatever, okay, what are you gonna do? What do you mean? I meant later this afternoon
Starting point is 00:11:38 I don't know. I was just they accepted me. So I went not a bad school. It's a good school. We got into yeah Yeah, it's a good school. Yeah, it's expensive a little bit of cage. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah back in the day was like 40 40 a Clip screwing around. Well, yeah, that's why I went to T. You baby. Now go owls shout out to them. Um, yeah Alright, okay. Did you go? Did you go to school until you're now? I went to Widener University? And he does not miss an opportunity to talk about his football career while he was there either hello and goodbye Really? Football at Widener play a little ball. Really offensive tackle nickel and dime pack Bags, too. Do you have tape you film now? Oh, I didn't even think about calling you on your bluff either
Starting point is 00:12:30 That's it patty. I know you're watching this pull up me picking my nose I come around the tunnel. Okay. Let's go. Yeah, they only had the cleanest Jersey on that bench Like a hide commercial kids fresh. All right. Let's fucking get into it Let's fucking get into it a little bit here and find out now for the fucking around. Let's do some of the basics He's a suburban kid. We can hit him with a couple of fucking one two threes Growing up. Well, first of all, what was the name of the street that your parents house was on? Lockwood. Lockwood. What's a wood drive? That's pretty fucking good I
Starting point is 00:13:13 Didn't even realize Granite was like a really rich town until like high school Would you go in you go into you can go into town. There's like a there's like an actual yeah But like I don't know like all my friends were all my other friends were kids whose parents were like New York Transplants as well. Like my best friend's house would go over there There was just like a pregnant dog in a pool all the time. Oh, what the fuck is that? You're hanging out their kids on the wrong Hanging out with so anytime people are like, oh grannies. That's fancy. I was like, I don't know Is a big fat chocolate lab just in heat. Did you go to dogs with the nipples?
Starting point is 00:13:49 I can't with the nipples on the dogs. It's so gross Fucking and they don't go away for a while If you have your dog has them don't invite me over I'm telling you that now Do you have a dog with nipples? No, I would have fucking put him down or open the door and let him go Get the fuck out of your lines are strict. No nipples My mom got him taking off just a belly full of slinkies Did you go to private school or public school public you went to public? Yeah. Yeah, okay? Yeah, okay? Hey gang, let's take a quick second to talk about the good time that Uncle Hank and Aunt Kippy
Starting point is 00:14:28 You're having over there on the stereo app every Thursday night at nine o'clock. We answer Your questions. Yeah guys, we go live every Thursday. It's a good time. We just did our first one There was a couple hundred people in there big man. Not too shabby a lot of great questions. It's a fun time We interact with you guys. It's kind of like an after party of the show type thing get involved go to www.stereo.com Slash Kevin Ryan or slash H Foley. Don't forget the big man. That's right And when you sign up we get to what our beaks a little bit. It's a good time get involved It's free sign up today. What uh, what grocery store did your parents shop at big one?
Starting point is 00:15:07 What was the name it was just like some music a one-in-town it's called poor cellies Local one-in-town poor cellies and grannies probably pretty nice Italians know their way around the market I'm getting a picture here. They do I'm picturing your mom walking out with the brown paper bag holding the two Yeah, I get sticking out. Maybe some lettuce, you know At the market Literally like I think but my mom has tried to make stuff that's like nice But all my dad wants is like egg noodles and chicken Would you say just your garbage?
Starting point is 00:15:44 Yeah, I got some garbage qualities Italian background or Irish background Irish hundred percent all Irish. Yeah Yeah What the fuck is that all about Dirtballs you know all I remember. Yes, just we were yeah, that was pretty much it. We have tacos chicken parm Pork chop. Yeah, that's the white trash. That's the white trash wheelhouse right there. Yeah, didn't you say you've never had a pork chop before? I think I've ever had a banana either not that I can remember I don't fuck with them Devil dogs devil dogs were big. What's it devil doing the hostess the Drake's kid?
Starting point is 00:16:22 Yeah, it's like two chocolate things. Yeah. Yeah. Shout out. What do you mean? They were big Look at term pike in my house This is things you got to respect the egg noodles alright, so my opinion is starting to shift a little bit here Where do you get the hat from then stole it from his brother? Yeah, dude? I got over the summer and it's a lake to squam. Yeah, nothing's adding up the look the beard You got a nice Nike hoodie on yeah, you weren't you look you look like a rich guy. He's into rock climbing. Yeah He's got the big shoulders like the functional You look like you do the stand-up surfboard thing
Starting point is 00:17:06 Yeah, you don't make can but you make money off I could totally I could totally do that. I could do that. Yeah, you could grow weak You do like part of like like even like the hoodie you have the hat you do have like a very Northeastern like Kind of white like average white guy vibe. Yeah north of Philadelphia, New York There's like a little bit different like more wilderness a little yeah I you know what I like like you wear cargo shirts for the functionality a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, what happened was I was Over the summer I went to this lake
Starting point is 00:17:39 The dope hat and it's nice and I was like I was working on that cartoon Well, what were you at? Explain to me what you mean when you went to the lake you went to stay there Yeah, yeah, well, my family went up there and we're just like in the woods So your family goes to a lake house in the summer. Yeah Man, these are these are conners are fucking they get you coming and going What the fuck you think that's fancy or no I can go in their way now, but we did lake houses to it. It's trash. Yeah, like how's it gonna be really fucking was a scary
Starting point is 00:18:09 Oh, dude, it's so bad, but I but I settled I was I settled in and I was like When it gets quiet at night and you feel the lights are on in the house every someone's outside look this is yeah It's like if I was gonna kill someone this is where I would this is exactly how the highway into some little town Back on I'm out. Dude. I think about that too much Yeah, the city it's I've always feel like it's hard to get away with but even that's bullshit I've gotten car jacked like around people really where Billy. Yeah. Yeah, what neighborhood? I was in West Philly They took the car. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I got out of the car like the guy. I was I parallel parked I was all stoned. I parallel parked and I remember I was so pumped that I like parallel
Starting point is 00:18:50 Yeah, yeah Oh, and I I opened the door and I was it was my friend's car. Oh She's actually best case scenario You don't get shot and you don't do give me the key. All right It's literally what happened. I get out of the car and he's like he's like trying to get shot tonight How about you give me them keys? And I was so high on now, but I was just like Oh
Starting point is 00:19:17 Let me get my I was walking away. I was like, oh fuck. I left my phone in the car. That's the worst part And I literally just without thing turned around. I was like, oh, hey, man. I left my phone in the car Okay, grab it real quick. What's a yeah, and he goes. Yeah, all right Probably because that's GP you can at least track. Yeah, maybe that you know, I don't know I don't think he was thinking too clearly Yeah, so I he was like, yeah, call the cops and I was like, all right And I just called the cops
Starting point is 00:19:45 And then and then the cops came and picked me up and just drove around West Just drove around West Philly for a while and then took me to like 55th and Pine to that like precinct or whatever We got out and I just like sat in this hallway called my friend who was like in air Like flying to California. Mm-hmm. And I was a rich guy. That's a rich guy. That's what we call it around here I think they might be in a witch sack or something like this is the worst part This is the worst part about people thinking that you have money is that everything you say people like oh, dude I've never heard anybody refer to it. It is in there. It was in air, dude I like if I I like I don't play golf somebody somebody that's somebody who that knows somebody with a plane
Starting point is 00:20:31 You know somebody with a plane when you say the term in what else do you say when someone's like they're on a plane? Yeah, not In there's a little bit of key usually in my family they say they're actually on the bus That's great. So they're in there anytime I see someone that they're like they post on Instagram or something that they're like playing golf Like just like a comic. I'm just like, what are you gonna get fucking ripped for that? Yeah? Yeah? I want to take off now that I got a little older. I'm 34. I feel like I can like I Could before I'd be like post a picture of me golfing or something I'd be like People are gonna fucking think I'm like some rich fucking fucking, you know one percenter. I can't do this now. I'm older
Starting point is 00:21:11 I got fucking I wouldn't play chip and putt, but our good friend Tommy Cassidy. It was actually a nice day You snuck on it all three Kind of holding the fence But I wouldn't mind doing it either but back to the car jacking. Oh, yeah, stay on topic here Oh, yeah, so I call them. I left him a message being like hey like your cars What kind of car was gone? It was an orange Honda element. Hmm. Wow, that's Also the most conspicuous car on earth Like yeah the color and the car yeah, so be on the lookout for the cat in the hat
Starting point is 00:21:53 That was the one where like the doors open Oh You said it was all right, yeah That was I think that was one of the first ones that had like that because I see more orange orange Just making a comeback. Yeah. Yeah, but the Mazda somebody's door. Yeah, you look like a fucking goober Yeah, it was it was like Honda's answer to the like what was that? What's that? Is it Chrysler that fucking shitty? Hmm the PT cruiser The pregnant rollerskate out of here with that you are garbage
Starting point is 00:22:25 Up in the PT cruiser craze There's nothing more disgusting than a like a worn-out PT cruiser And like the thing is like people think they're cool, that's the worst part. Oh man that in the Chrysler 600 was pretty shitty I don't remember sounds nice. No, that was like the Bentley look at. Yes. Yeah, I can't have a garbage They were killing people left and right to that a huge blind spot Really? I read popular Sounds like an insurance One hit me
Starting point is 00:23:04 All right. All right, let's see what you get on the SATs big question 1380 That guy's in there right there. This kid's a serial killer. All right. I don't know what's cold as ice wake house 1300 Animated cartoons. Yeah, no, it's a smart kid. I knew you were a smart kid. I always known you were smart I have my moments, but yeah, I bought this hat when I was I was like, you know what? I'm gonna like live just like in the woods. I think it like made cartoons when you lie would love that. Yeah So, you don't draw. I mean, I would I would do a bad podcast What I would do I would zoom with you
Starting point is 00:23:43 All right, all right, I can't get it back. I can't get it. I can't get a fucking read on it Man, it really is now. I forget. I yeah, did you say you think you're garbage or you don't think you're going? I think yeah, I got some yeah, I think people would consider me garbage and you said your parents are both from New York Yeah, New York trans. Yeah Bronx. Yeah. All right. So we covered the grocery store. We covered Well, what do you guys do in the summer you go you ever go skiing you got a beach house You got a yeah, I go down the shore. There was a while we go to the Poconos and then we'd go down the shore Yeah, yeah, so you're rich Thank you. Yeah, my parents got some cash
Starting point is 00:24:17 Yeah, there was money growing up and it would come and go like there was a lady like oh We got a shore house and they're like oh, they report the car type thing It was like it was very back and it was ebbs and flows for a while It was the family vacation usually for you guys up to that lake. It was yeah. Yeah, it's a real like Yeah, you don't own a property up there. No, no, no, no, you're rent rent. Yeah a house or is it like? Yeah, we were like we did like there was like a little like community of cottages We did that for a lot for like from most of the time and then just like Past couple years. It's been like a house. What sort of activities?
Starting point is 00:24:50 What sort of activities would you do on the lake? We literally just like we rent a boat and just go around pontoon. No like a speedboat kind of thing Yeah, yeah, that was nice, but like yeah, we just like we like water ski He's a water scare pretty rich guy shit. Not really do water skiing They're not in fucking Nantucket. They're in a lake house in the middle of Connecticut or something or New Hampshire Yeah, not that nice. Can you drink water in the lake? No, no, definitely not. Is there any springs up there? It's a nice. It's a nice lake. It's cool. It's it is nice It's like a that was like always the weird thing like we like growing up
Starting point is 00:25:28 It's like we would get people would get like, you know people would be pissed if they like the heat was too high or like Window was left open or light was left like it was always like you were getting shit about stuff like we didn't have money But then anytime you needed something it was all you could always get it. Yeah, I was the same way And I was just like I'm talking this week and I'm like Yeah, eat them like a little bit. Um, I was uh, I was talking about this I'm like, I'm done making them feel like I'm done with letting them make me feel bad about spending money on stuff Well, that's gonna be 50 bucks to go out to dinner like yeah, you have it. Okay, I don't let's go Oh, dude, I got making a large pie. No, what are we doing?
Starting point is 00:26:03 I got in a fight with my mom about Christmas presents like I was like I'm gonna go to the mall and buy my like niece and nephew. No, niece and nephew like a Christmas present and She was like, don't do that. Don't do that. I got one. She had like in a Batmobile from fucking five years ago Just give this to yeah, no, I'm gonna go. I want to get and you're the uncle that does you're like sitting there with the Yeah, and she was like she just like didn't get it. That was a big foot. What are you gonna get? She's just shut up Fucking shut up Yeah, my mom's getting on my dad too. She likes she thinks my dad's like falling apart She was like his hearing's gone. He's here and it's literally because my entire life
Starting point is 00:26:49 My entire life if my dad was watching TV You couldn't get through. Yeah, like dad dad, you know, you have to like yell at him My whole life and now my mom talk tries to talk to him while he's watching TV and he doesn't respond She's like see it's like Same as it's been for 30 years. You know, that's joy Not a defect man. So a little dysfunction a little bit of cash. Yeah, like house be in air It's a lot you guys have a garage growing up. Yeah, you have a fridge in the garage No, no garage fridge. What kind of cars were they saying two fridges?
Starting point is 00:27:35 Yeah, the thing is so the idea on a second fridge No, so it's like you have a fridge and then you get a new fridge or you move into a house And now you have an old fridge and the trashy thing is why can't throw out this perfectly working fridge? Yeah, put it in the garage No one ever buys a new second fridge. I had friends that had two fridges and I was always like clean living Yeah, holy shit. You got two fridges same guy that was breathing the Mini horses Yeah, they had to freak me the fuck out. Yeah, I don't like those little ponies man. They fucking make me sad
Starting point is 00:28:09 I don't know why hmm. So we got that we got the no garage fridge pool. Was there a pool now? No, no pool The backyard did you have a pool? Yeah Above ground it's as trashy as you can get it's an above ground and they built a deck the whole entire size of the backyard Above it. So now it's like It's an above-ground in ground pool. It makes it look like it's in ground, but you're standing Couple of critters We actually We had to get the liner read done a few years ago
Starting point is 00:29:00 That'd be pretty cool your dad's on a wheel I Have you ever owned a bow and arrow? No, baby gun No, paintball gun. No, we had rubber band guns. What that's guy. They were good. No trash Are you a hacky sack guy? No, I tried to yeah me too. Yeah. Yeah, that was like an identity. I tried What kind of cars did your parents drive We had a Ford Taurus Is that a company car?
Starting point is 00:29:44 We have one for your robot wagon wagon. Oh my god. What for Taurus wagon? When you don't get made fun of enough at school already I'm making a wagon folks That's driving on Greenwich, Connecticut. No, what color was that? It was a silver wagon. I know that for Taurus wagon in a headgear He was a wedgie and we had a Jeep with a Jeep Jeep not a Wrangler like a chair The real boxy one. Yeah, all right. The grand Cherokee had the no, we got a grand Cherokee. We were a grand Cherokee See, you know Yes, it is very nice was a least or Joan it I think they leased it. Yeah
Starting point is 00:30:28 Have you ever owned a hookah? Yeah In college I got I got like a smoke weed out of yeah, okay, not to back. Oh, no No, yeah, no, I see people sitting there on the streets in New York smoking those things. I'm like, you know, they're typically Persian or something No, that's their Persian Like it too in my name makes sense when you see like some fucking ding-dong trying to look cool some white kid I got to be a white kid because that's what makes it look so stupid. I think it's kind of nice Yeah, I did it It is it's one of those things was like who the fuck would and I think I've done it
Starting point is 00:31:03 I've done it once or twice and I was like, this is pretty good. I get this Just looking for an identity Sacker I Look at I look at a hookah like like a non-alcoholic beer. I'm just like just smoke A pack of Bernie's at six pack hold a fucking day Fuck my doing here wasting everybody's time go to the back room with the Chinese theater and fucking toke up with some fucking opium Fucking do it right. All right. I got one. Have you ever attended a birthday at a hibachi restaurant? No, been to Benihana, I don't think so
Starting point is 00:31:40 If you guys were not to dinner for it like a nice dinner, where would the O'Connor's go? casual dining Applebee's are you more like, you know, not only oh Damn, I'm trying to think the last place my friend who serves egg noodles. I don't know man. I don't think I do I don't I one time we went into the city. We want we got got paella At like a place what man? I fun is not Dude, we never my parents my parents they don't like they don't do stuff. They don't we they don't like go out and They don't go out to dinner. Holy shit. I can't I literally cannot think of the last time
Starting point is 00:32:22 What are they doing their birthdays? Or anniversary something they ever go home ever hug your chicken and egg noodles. It might yeah, my dad My dad likes chicken parm and kiss your dad when you like we like kiss like you give him a hug You don't hug your dad my dad We hug we hug it's like a thing, you know, we got to like build, you know, we can't just be like hey, man You know, we got to do like Moment yeah, yeah hit the ramp with speed I don't know if they're garbage. They're definitely odd balls. They're definitely Irish. This is very Irish egg noodles chicken parm
Starting point is 00:33:09 Don't go out It's a lot. That's yeah I don't know there's all look those little things that people always like I don't know people people that were like get would get mad if someone Didn't say goodbye. Oh Never understood that holding grudges my parents were not like that at all. It'll just be like yeah Yeah, you had to go was there cousins up there around you or is it just you guys? It was just I know we had a we have a couple cousins that Live clip my all my mom's side my my dad would my dad kind of my dad grew up in a castle Hill projects
Starting point is 00:33:41 And my mom grew up I think on sort of like the nice part in part of the Bronx more like our revenue-ish kind of stuff So your dad comes from humble beginnings. Yeah. Yeah. All right. What about it Christmas would there? Well, let's start with the tree white lights colored lights. What are we doing? It's been white lights for the most part my brother was my brother did not like real trees He wanted a fake tree the fuck is that who gives a shit what he wants? I don't know He would listen to that. I don't know I just like that's the other thing is nobody cares about anything So he'd be like I want a fake one and everyone goes. Yeah, he wants to fake
Starting point is 00:34:21 We've gone we've gone with like a real tree for a while now we're in like the real tree mode But yeah, nobody I don't know just ever nobody's Again, it's all little shit. They'll get pissed about like everyone has their particulars about little things, but Most stuff. It's just like whatever. Yeah path of least resistance kind of yeah Like if you want to cut a piece of wood in a certain way, that's gonna be a fight. Yeah Yeah, yeah, but you know, is there a lot of wood cutting? I don't know my dad's always like building shit I built like skate racks for a while. I worked for like a skateboard company and built like on the wall
Starting point is 00:34:57 Like where they like these were like standing ones. Okay, so I got like a router and I was fucking We always like you know made like Pinewood Derby cars you guys raised Pinewood Derby cars Oh, that was always movie shit to us. Wait, what do you mean pinewood Derby? What's that pinewood Derby? It's like a thing we did in the Boy Scouts you guys in the Boy Scouts Fucking I don't know ring-and-run smoke and weed Cub scouts, I guess I never made it to Boy Scouts Counselor didn't want any piece of me Wait, did you sit? Wait, do you mean go? No, it's the little car that you draw your leg
Starting point is 00:35:47 Yeah, you put like a certain amount of weight on it. Yeah, it's got to be under 32 kilograms The wheels have to be so yeah, yeah, that's the one. Hey nerd alert What do you play little league fucking oh, yeah, I did I did all that too, okay? football baseball cross Hockey I pegged just a little cross hockey. Wait a minute. Yeah, you were able to afford hockey equipment I did hand me down stuff. So I'd have like I like playing goalie Okay, and then my brother had a friend who played goalie. I got all his like old stuff
Starting point is 00:36:23 Yeah, was there still a trim money transaction or just given? I don't think so. I think you just I think you just gave it to me Cuz people hockey unless you unless you live in like fucking Ontario on a lake hockey's a rich kid's yeah, yeah No, I mean it was it's like expensive. It's expensive. Yeah, the bar to entries higher I played as well and it's like we used to dude. There was nothing better than street hockey with the Goalie had like the catchers mid or something because you had to like piece together the equipment yeah Oh, the ball goes down the gutter Trash can or something in front of the fucking guy Pennywise. Yeah, that's I that like my I live in like sort of there's like one driveway that we share with two or three other houses and
Starting point is 00:37:01 Like they paved it at one point like at the height of our street hockey and we were like this is the fucking And then and then they decided to put this like fake Fuckin shit over it like stone. Okay. I don't know if you've ever seen this like it's not gravel It's gravel that's like glued to the I kind of know what you mean. Yeah, and it's like who wants this You're just fucking over street hockey. What the fuck are you doing? That was like a big. Yeah, my brother and I lobbied hard The shared driveway Yeah, that's trash or it can be classy. It depends. No one's sharing a driveway Yeah, okay, it's ain't sharing a driveway with anybody. Yeah, that's no way. No, I don't know. Yeah
Starting point is 00:37:48 Yeah, which is tech typically gage. Oh, how long was it? Was it like it was like a hundred road. No, no, no No, yeah, but it's a private road and it splits off this way and then it's puts off Yeah, it's different. Yeah, I don't know What about peeing in the shower? Yeah, which by the way, we just talked about this and then we used that clip to promote last After and my wife had no idea I was peeing in the shower this whole time She's like you pee in the shower. I'm like, what? No, I'm not like, babe. It's the bed. I'm doing it Yeah, why would they be upset? Well, I don't get what I don't know
Starting point is 00:38:23 But it was just like she's like you I honestly I thought everybody was doing that. Yeah I don't know people that were not and your girlfriend's German. You think she would be completely unfazed by pissed stuff I know it's also like I don't he's not why she's he's fazed by it. Why is that they're into weird fetishes? Yeah, are they? No, lucky dog First it's not like the last thing you do in there is piss. Yeah, it's also like the waters For me ready to start the day Anybody on FaceTime audio I Have done that
Starting point is 00:39:07 That's garb. Why why you using you're using FaceTime audio. There's just a fucking shit There's things that he doesn't understand fully that you why would you call somebody on FaceTime audio? Well, here's the here's the issue in my neighborhood Because you have to be on Wi-Fi. Yeah. Yeah, there's no service. Mm-hmm. So you gotta plus like I don't I have a buddy who Just like is again. Yeah, I don't know. It's one of these people gets upset about audio quality And he's like the FaceTime audio so much clearer. It's like Yeah Audio who's on the phone now? I don't know me a favor get a real christmas tree and stop talking to this
Starting point is 00:39:52 Comments, I don't know Do you know how to tie a tie I Did I went through I went through a phase where I was like I'm gonna figure out how to do this Where what about a bow tie? No, I know I do know how to tie a bow tie Son of a bitch I can semi I've gotten it before but I can't do it. Yeah. Yeah, it's too fresh That was another thing I like I was like, you know I'm gonna learn how to do this and I I learned it and it but then you just forget so fast because you're not doing it Yeah, I used to I when I worked at Macy's out to do one every day
Starting point is 00:40:25 It was like one of those things like I had to I think I had like my fucking roommate or my neighbor do it And then like I just like left it on Like you know And at one point I'm like I gotta learn how to do this What about do you sleep with your mouth open? Probably This kid's a psycho. I'm big. What I'm big mouth open. Yeah. How do you not? Dude head back mouth open. Good night catching catching flies. My family calls it. I saw you out
Starting point is 00:40:54 I came home. You're on the couch catching flies. I do grind teeth, too Everybody drink coffee in the house Yeah, make it decap My dad's definitely one of those guys who just like it doesn't understand iced coffee It'll be a hundred degrees outside. He'll be like, what are you fucking nuts? It's like it tastes good It's the same effect. Yeah. No, my my family's a yeah My the upper brass of my family are non iced coffee people. Yeah, just committed to Dunkin Donuts coffee It's like, yeah coffee in the summer
Starting point is 00:41:39 Air doesn't work in the car It's the weirdest thing because he's not like an insecure dude either. It's like what what is what is this thing? This is your opinion or something. Yeah. Yeah, this is your like Helms deep get one of those foofy drinks from stall box or something That's what all my family says. Let me ask you this in your household Does your parents refer to? the channel number or The network like if your mom said hey put this on would she say hey Well, I'm channel three put on channel three or put on NBC. It used to be that but now it's different
Starting point is 00:42:13 It used to be like before the cable got cute, you know before you had like Thousand channels and channels are moving. It's like it used to be like, you know MTV was channel 53, you know Like the channel 13, you know, it's like to was PBS or fucking way Now it's like my parents have the full package, you know, you know a million channels Yeah, I think ABC is on 805 or something like that. They still say put on six. Yeah And Philly it was three. Well, put it on three. It's either on three six or ten I don't know. It's all dude. It's gotta be on three six or ten. Yeah, they were definitely big Channel people that yeah, that was big. Hmm. Okay. Is that trash? What's trash here?
Starting point is 00:42:56 It's really channel eight hundred and ninety-four Channel three. Are you guys clicker or remote clicker? Because you're just doing the function of it you've renamed it the function of it Yeah, well, that used to be the only thing that it did call the Frick up and click down. Yeah Yeah, clicker's trash trying to think isn't that I heard it. I feel like I heard Something recently too, but I can't pull it. Yeah, there's another one floating around there. That's getting some headway There's I'm trying to remember. There's one like the way people talk about turning the lights off Cut the lights off. That's
Starting point is 00:43:36 Lights on or cut the lights off this track. Yeah, another thing to people that say I'm a little I was looking at the TV Get the fuck out of my face. You're either watching it or you're not you're not looking at it Looking at it means it's not on Fuck out of that's the fuck. I'm looking. I'm like, yeah, I was looking at the TV last night. Well, we're not talking anymore Have you ever used the phrase it's five o'clock somewhere Talking to the mic. No, no, I haven't no no no my yeah, my parents T totalers to not boozers It's where you don't drink wait T totaler. I've never told her. Yeah, what's that mean? I've never heard that just drink I think it's an Irish expression. It's an English expression. It's so commonly used sometimes
Starting point is 00:44:28 You guys blow my fucking mind with a thing. You don't know T totaler is one of the most standard fucking phrases Let me get told me a haircut. All right guys all hopped up and T totalers Total or T total like he's a T total. Yeah, that's insane to me Well, I also come from a family that is not I no longer trust either one. Yeah, they're both suspect in my book What did you guys go up now pussy? I mean my family If you came over for a party and you're like, uh, I'm a T total or they'd be like, yeah Here's the exit go look at the TV. They would just say he doesn't drink He doesn't drink and you know something something's happening. Yeah, if you don't drink in my family
Starting point is 00:45:07 Everybody knows why you nobody just chooses to not it was because of an incident. Yeah, that it's like listen You can't drink it. I remember I was drinking in the basement in my basement with my buddies once Anything better than that. Yeah, just getting hammered in the basement and My dad opened the door. He's like, hey Chrissy come up here for a second. I was like And I went up there and said, what are you guys drinking now? He goes. It smells like a fucking brewery down And I was hammered being like, no, man. What are you talking about? No, we're not drinking. He's a guy, right? Yeah, that was big though. It was always big when you were like my parents will kind of we can't celebrate the fact Well, we can kind of hide it. I don't know what I mean. Yeah. Yeah, that's pretty showboating. That's pretty
Starting point is 00:45:52 That's pretty normal behavior. Yeah. All right. Let's start. Yes. Very yes. Very average Was the basement finished now? So it's a man floor and then you do area rocker tile, but like the but the laminate like I Was at a butcher shop The O'Connor's were not big on comfort. I don't know now. No, it was functionality and price over anything every page I turn you keep surprising me. Yeah, dude And the basement could be nice the basement could be nice, but they don't they haven't done anything with it your mom read a lot I'm a reader. Yeah, she's like she likes
Starting point is 00:46:30 This is fucking she just reads through like She's a book of drugs and like what they do like pharmaceutical stuff What and she looks she just reads through them because she like, you know She interacts with old people a lot and like looks through like what medications conflict with one another That's what she can just she can just churn on that for 12 hours. What do you on Penzo? She got to stay They yeah, that's yeah, she found out that like so I have like us. Do they go to the movies or anything? Who reads the fucking drug they watch besides my friends from high school. Yeah, they watch just TV movies my My mom got into a show. She was like this show is so good
Starting point is 00:47:14 I think it was like the cop show with J. Lo she keeps trying to convince me to watch I don't even know what's called. It's called like blue or something. Blue bloods was big in my house Big blue bloods. Yeah. Yeah, she was like, oh, it's the greatest show on and just like, I don't know Have you watched anything else? Yeah, no, they haven't Yeah, you ever seen Cheers Watching fucking info watching C-span and shit Yeah, no, they don't yeah, they didn't do any of that stuff How do you feel about the rotisserie chicken from the supermarket?
Starting point is 00:47:45 I love it. I love it. Would that be on the menu with the O'Connor sounds like that was like that that started happening in the late Yeah Look what I found yeah the whitest of white meat I'm at the point now in the show where I'm no giving up. I know I'm no longer trying to like prove garbage and I just want to see if you're if they're sane if they're Looking for normal things. That's why I got weird food shit like I I started early where I would just eat the frozen Eggo waffles Eat them frozen. Yeah. Yeah. I'll just pull it right out of the freezer frozen. Yeah, yeah
Starting point is 00:48:29 I thought he meant like I would buy the frozen ones cook them and then eat them. Is that legal? Yeah, I just take them out eat them. I eat like cold like I like cold. I was no wonder why you grind your teeth Cold lasagna love cold lasagna. It's all like congealed and stuck. I'll give you that. That's all right. Yeah, I don't I barely I like Reheating something for me is like why that's fucking yeah, why would you enjoy the day? We've got three minutes for a waffle I'm with you on that if it's the next day and it was I know but I'll eat a cold hamburger. Yeah, that's fine But a frozen waffle. I'll eat cold. That's that's weird. That's psychopath. Yes. That's psycho I don't know. You got to toast it and put all kind of man. We're talking minutes, Chris
Starting point is 00:49:17 90 seconds I always had a problem with I had a problem with like I hated taking a piss when I was a kid I couldn't take a piss or take a shit like I just like because I thought I'd be missing something That was like a big I would just hold back to are you crazy? This is the weirdest episode No doubt about it. I don't know. I just like yeah, just like if I piss when I get back everyone's gonna be somewhere else What? Yeah, do you see a therapist now? No, no, I don't why talkspace.com. Well, who's the sponsor? Talk ahead
Starting point is 00:49:54 No, I don't I don't know. I'm scared to go take a pee because I wasn't scared I just hated the idea, you know Because you thought if I thought it would like break Yeah, you're like hanging out with your friends and everything's like you're it's a good vibe between Mario Carter I don't want to fucking get up and take a piss and then I semi understand. Yeah, I also enjoy on a similar note I enjoy listening to the radio when a good song cut like that because I go everybody's enjoying this with me Yeah, if I'm listening to my cd. It's just me doing it. It's lonely. Yeah. Hmm. Okay Yeah, that was a big problem
Starting point is 00:50:26 No, I don't I don't know I don't I don't think I I don't really like therapy. I don't think I tried it apparently I tried it but it just never seems like the person's like you need to interrogate me and question everything that I'm saying for this to feel like it's Working, you know what I'm making some progress right now Frankly, I don't know. Do you guys go to therapy? I have. Yeah. Yeah, it sucks when you're just like you're telling a story about something that happened Then you have to and the person's not yeah They got a pain you're wondering if they're gonna write down notes in their paper They're like, oh, that's interesting as opposed to being like they they really said that. Yeah, you want some feedback Yeah, I mean you're a comedian as well. So you're you're used to you want the you want the interaction take my word for it
Starting point is 00:51:09 Yeah, I also like I hate that. How does that make you feel? Wait, what do you mean like the doctor will just take your word for it? Yeah, yeah, well if you tell them that a situation happened a certain way they just go like, oh, that's you know, it's like no criticize it Try to poke holes in it. They're not gum shoes. What do you they should be? That's the whole point It's like figure out if I'm lying, you know or why are you lying? No, well, it's not it wouldn't be intentional It'd be like am I delusional? You know, I do there's so many people who like I go to therapy and they're like, yeah You know, I found out like this is my thing and it's like that's not your problem
Starting point is 00:51:44 Is that what you're working on? You go in there with that. That's not even close to what your problem is. What's their problem? I'll tell you what your problem is buddy. No, it's like one of those people. It's like, yeah, just like I you know Whatever it is give me a specific example like like what do you mean like one of your friends told you what and you think that their problems What I had a buddy who's like, uh, you know, like someone who's just like, yeah, you know, it's like I guess my thing is like I just don't like hate people and it's like what you fucking all you do is hate people What are you talking? It'd be like that kind of I also see what you're saying It's like you don't have to be genuinely on it like there's someone who's like, yeah, you know
Starting point is 00:52:16 My thing is just like I see what you're saying. You could paint yourself too much. Yeah You don't give anything to the most selfish fucking piece of shit. I've ever met my life. What the fuck are you talking about? That's what that's what you're talking about in there. Yeah, those therapists. It's like maybe you're just a jerk off, Bill You know what I mean? You're eating a frozen waffle piss in your pants. Like you're pretty fucked up Oh Is that your problem steve? You're just too nice. Yeah Meanwhile, you have your omicetitis Chris O'Connor tough love therapy. You're a bitch. Oh, I'm like yourself a fucking frozen waffle and get over here
Starting point is 00:52:49 I've dated people too that are like, you know, they're going to therapy and less. Yeah, and it's just like They're always anytime they tell me about I'm like, that's what you're uh This is never gonna get fixed because you guys are working on a fake problem Yeah, that's true. This kid's hard You currently you dating anybody now? Uh, no, just went through a breakup. Yeah, we just went through a breakup. I'm sorry to hear that. Yeah, that's all right You currently on a gaming chair. I do not own a gaming chair, but I just got an oculus. Oh, we've seen the fate with these Just so you know, I've seen them. They're filming you almost every time. You know, absolutely. Absolutely. It's amazing swinging at his past
Starting point is 00:53:29 I Real crazy, dude, it is so much fun. What game would you look like your knife in somebody? Here's your gift dad. It's called leak house. Oh, dude. Yeah. No, that is the one recurring nightmare I have is is like trying to punch Is trying to punch someone in the face and you can't hit them. Yeah, dude. I've had them where I run It's low self-esteem or confidence or something I've had them where I'm like running down the street and I know in my dream that I go Hey, you know, this is a problem for you really great. You gotta make sure you connect
Starting point is 00:54:02 I gotta have a 500 yard running start and I get up there and my hand just like turns into And it goes like behind me and I'm like Everything and then I get my ass kicked. I had a thing where I just you know, I needed to bash someone's like fucking brains in And I just couldn't yeah, couldn't make you just can't you just like what did he do? He is like you wanted it. I don't know. I was probably trying to kill me or something I feel like you want to hit me right now. I don't try to heat up my lasagna I like it cold your motherfucker. I think it cold and I don't pee Huh. Yeah, I don't know if you're garbage. You are a bit bonko. Yeah
Starting point is 00:54:38 How about how about this how to shift gears a little bit? Do you do you own an american express card? No What kind of credit cards do you have? Uh, I just have a one through bank of america. It's just like travel rewards Okay, does it have an airline on it? No I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. I didn't learn any of the stuff that I should have Learned financially. Yeah, I don't have grown up where I grew up. You know, I've got no etiquette like eating What do you mean? I don't know you mean something you have something specifically I just feel like I there's just all you're in a safe place. You know, we're gonna make fun of you for whatever it is I don't know. I just feel like you know, put a napkin and your napkin on your lap. Always forget that. Yeah, okay
Starting point is 00:55:21 Do you tuck it in the shirt? No, okay Um, I feel like I I can chew with my mouth open I imagine I want a lot of salad forks at the o'connor's No, we would do salad. Okay. We just do romaine chop it up. You wouldn't have iceberg You wouldn't have the forks lined up like oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no No, that's what I've never learned. Yeah, I never learned any of that. Shit. Yeah, let me ask you this Do you eat cereal with a teaspoon or a tablespoon? tablespoon, okay
Starting point is 00:55:47 Yeah, or whatever the big the big spoon. Yeah. Oh, you don't know that. Oh, wow. Are they is that exactly a tablespoon? I don't know. Yeah, that's weird. Yeah, it's referring. What about this? Do you when there's shrimp that's like fried with the tail on it? You eat the tail or no? Hold on. Nobody answer that question. What do you do? I eat the tail I eat the tail I also take a bite out of the whole lobster. Tell me call the police When it's fried, I wouldn't eat like if it was like cocktail shrimp, I wouldn't eat the tail That's the same shrimp. No, when it's fried, it's like it's
Starting point is 00:56:20 It's crunch is better. There is a dish salt and pepper shrimp that they fry with the shell on it and it's like in pasta and then what? Who's a pasta? If you have fried shrimp in a pasta dish or something, who has that? Yeah, no, it should be served as like an appetizer like baggy baggy popcorn shrimp What if you've never seen shrimp with the tail on it in pasta? Yeah, not fried though. Fried? Do you eat it with the tail or you take the tail off? Take the tail off, yeah But you can't eat the shrimp
Starting point is 00:56:49 Dude, he looked at you like that. We're crazy. That's a mess. Am I nuts? What are you? You can't eat the shell of the shrimp if it's fried. Do you cut with you cut the tail off? No, I pop it out with your hands. I put it in my mouth and pop it out In a pasta dish. Sure. I'll take the shrimp out. I see what you're saying. Am I crazy? Sometimes I will cut it. That's not classier. Eating with your fingers is not classy. I'm not eating the tail like a fucking seal It's a dirtball cash 22. Yeah, I don't know what the answer is and I'm not a seafood kind of guy So I don't I don't have I don't I can't make a call on this. Things are going well How old are you when you first had lobster? Was that like a new I guess new england-ish kind? I mean, I don't know
Starting point is 00:57:32 Uh, I remember being like pretty young. It was like special obviously, but I remember like uh I remember my I remember my dad Like, you know throwing the lobster into a boiling pot And being like they does that hurt them and be like, no And I remember like two years later him being like, uh, he'd be like, oh, yeah, that fucks him up I don't think it does though. No, he was like he was telling me about when he was a kid They used to like they used to boil crabs
Starting point is 00:58:01 Like at the beach and his job was to knock them back in when they were trying to climb out Yeah, they scream. Yeah, that's like that. They're not no they they don't feel the fish. So they don't have a central nervous system They know what's going on. No, they don't yeah, they they feel they feel pain. I don't think they don't Yeah, I think they do. No, let's I think they do. I think they do. I don't think they have a face that can wear an expression of pain But I think Yeah, and they don't have like No lobsters lobsters lack the brain anatomy needed to feel pain How would that be? Yeah, how would the how would they know to not get hurt in the in the wild if somebody somebody's touching them?
Starting point is 00:58:42 Yeah, what? That doesn't make sense How would they how would they know literally it's the first thing that popped up What's that from lobsters outcome? I don't need us not net Ha ha ha ha ha ha We feel this I swear to god some luck at all if this shit hurts some republican lobster think tank somewhere Holy shit chain link fence around the house. No, very nice. No fence around the house
Starting point is 00:59:10 Yeah, I got a fence late. It's got a in high school. We got a fence late Here's a big one as of late on the podcast Sprite or seven up Sprite Okay, although growing up. It was seven up. Sure was. Yeah, I can't get a fucking read on you people Yeah, seven. It was mostly seven up seven up seven up, but he I'm a seven. I'm a seven up guy I would have thought you were more crazy if you would have said seven up just because you're younger
Starting point is 00:59:41 Yeah, I don't know. You don't see seven up around anymore straight muscle them out. Yeah Have you ever ordered girls going wild? You had to watch that no, uh Maybe have you ever jerked off for the commercial? No, me either. Keep it moving fully. No, I I jerked. I Yeah, I jerked off. We had a movie called the getaway What's that? It was a cold kid or with uh, kim bassinger. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's a remake. Yes. It's really good Did you jerk off to the jennifer tilley michael absin sexy? Yes. Yes. Yeah jennifer so hot in that Oh, and I'll tell you what I don't know how young you saw it, but that can fuck you up because that scene is fucking crazy
Starting point is 01:00:20 I saw it recently jennifer tilley. Did you jerk off though? I would have for old time's sake jennifer. It's dark jennifer tilley works Is married to this veterinarian michael absin's an outlaw. He gets hurt. He shows up to the veterinarian makes the veterinarian Fix him and then somehow she falls in love with him He's banging her why the veterinarians tied up in the bathroom and he opens the door and sees me like It's then he hangs himself in the bathroom. Yeah Crazy, yeah, it's fucked up and dark and then when you're watching as a kid jerking off you're like fuck that guy Hey buddy
Starting point is 01:00:55 But now older you're like oh Oh, dude, what a bitch. Oh Bitch, I'm gonna have to rent that. It's really good. Yeah. I like balden's great in it. So's james. Yeah Yeah, young alex balden's just sold. Yeah It's when him and kim bassinger were yeah both very hot That's it that that'd be a love scene. I wouldn't mind seeing yeah, you ever seen nine and a half weeks. Yes Who's in that? Mickey working kim bassinger. Oh
Starting point is 01:01:24 Yeah, and it's just like it's a soft-core porn. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah They just fucked for nine and a half weeks. That's their hole. It's pretty much it. Yeah, sign me up strawberries Any susus in your family any susu cars? Uh, no my my good friend's mom had an azuzu trooper What if I wasn't a trooper? Yeah, I like that car. Where did she strip? What about a saturn or a keya? No, excellent. Okay. All right. No, it's you got an Acura
Starting point is 01:01:55 Oh, you got an Acura. Who has an Acura? Uh, my mom had an ac or my dad had an Acura for a while. Wow Yeah, what did the new car people are pre-owned? Uh, that was a new car. Yeah, when did the tourists come into the family the tourists was 1985 through 1985? Yeah, through 2003 2002. Holy shit, I had a long run. Damn, they ran for 18 years. That's fucking crazy. Yeah Yeah, that was a Ford motor company. Yeah, doing it right. Yeah, that car was fucked up Ever used the facebook story feature? No Have you ever worn jenko jeans?
Starting point is 01:02:34 No, never wanted them. Really? Yeah, I was like that is fucking dumb. I got lead pipes Fucking pussy ass shit. Oh, man. I remember looking back. Thank you mom for only getting me lead pipes, but I remember as a kid thinking like Not wanting to get into any 90s style because I looked at the way people looked at themselves from the 80s and how they were like, look how fucking stupid we looked And I was like, well, I don't want to do that. I don't want to do that. You don't want to look back. Who has that perspective though? That's crazy. Yeah, so how old are you? How old am I? Yeah 35 Pretty good. You he could be a serial killer. I don't think so. No, I'm the way you said that. That's exactly what a serial killer is
Starting point is 01:03:16 I don't want to blend in. No, I'm not very I'm not violent. Move to the woods No, I'm fine. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I just want to move to the woods. Just want to move to the woods and draw that body I'm getting drifter serial killer. No No, I could never I can't even punch people in the face in my dreams without being Has any member of your family ever any male member of your family Ever not had sideburns like where they purposely cut the sideburns off. No, no, white walls White walls
Starting point is 01:03:49 That's white wall in it. Yeah, no white wall. What's the deal with that? That was a 90s. Nobody Nobody looked crazier Than the dude walking around with no sideburn. I saw I I was watching the sixers play the other night I swear to god, there's a guy on the other team. Oh, no, it was it wasn't the sixers at all. It was a fucking soccer game There was a dude with white walls. It's like, what the fuck are you doing? Dude, that shit's not weird, man What what is that that dude that was like a red dude that in the 90s with like a red tank top talked into a pair of jean shorts Which was fucking that was like the uncle uniform, dude Go over your buddy's house that guy. What's up? I'm uncle steve. You know, I get the fucking bricks
Starting point is 01:04:29 I have no money for you. Yeah, hanging out with this. Yeah, what are they thinking? Has have you ever had anyone explain what that is? I don't think I've ever really like had someone if somebody just closed him. I would fucking say something I'd like to what are you doing? Yeah, it's crazy. I've never had someone that close to me What do you have? No sideburns you're out there and you have no sideburns get out of the country All right, let's do uh, let's do some of the patreon questions real quick. Hey, absolutely get it out of here guys Obviously, uh, when you sign up for the patreon, we will read one of your patreon questions
Starting point is 01:05:02 One of your garbage questions It's the best way to do it We get hit out with so many questions that this is kind of the best uh, the best way to do it fun times So this is from george zack actually the guy who painted the new mural on the wall Shot out to that. Love you george. Fucking dope Shout out to george. He says have you ever chewed gum instead of brushing your teeth? Yeah, yeah, I did it this week. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, for sure. I was home. I got home. I got to my parents on sunday
Starting point is 01:05:29 I brushed my teeth for the first time this morning Yeah, that's yeah and showered for the first time this morning. How you doing cavity was It's funny. You mentioned that on the way up there. I was kind of like grinding my teeth and I felt a little Sting I'm missing two teeth. What was the last time you were at the dentist. Uh, I had to go this year. I had a Great question A year probably a year before that's not bad you go every year I've been doing pretty good past couple years. Yeah, I had a pocket
Starting point is 01:06:00 Uh, I had dental insurance for a while, but now I got a buddy who's who like owns a thing So they did some work for free. I think it was you. Yeah dental at dental office. Yeah, okay a dental dam Yeah, huh? Oh my god. How long you're going on a while? Oh I was a decade and I went last year How'd you do pretty good? I was just kind of like Any cavities? No, no Which I thought I was like I'm going to get hemmed up for at least a couple But I got some the two years ago. I got like some cavities filled
Starting point is 01:06:31 and then One of those like one of those fillings fell out and they were like We should probably just put like a fake tooth in there. Oh, that's my biggest fear. Yeah, I got a crown Yeah, you're also missing a bunch back. I'm missing a bunch. I'm missing Three three teeth total. That's a bunch. Can we not say there's a bunch of teeth? That's a lot. It's not that we're saying people three is a bunch of your teeth. You said it was two not 30 seconds ago. Yeah Yeah, he lies. He lies about everything. Yeah, it's minimum four He's telling us three. I have no teeth
Starting point is 01:07:05 Um, yeah, you got to get that you got to get that fixed because I think I think you're I think you like the bone actually starts to like Nah, I'm 45. I'm cruising till I get it. You look great I'm I'm a year and a half away from I'm I'm two years away from veneers anyway Yeah, that's patreon.com. That's the first thing I'm doing. I get my help fully get veneers sign up patreon.com I'm getting this. I'll I'll even kick in a little bit of mine and we'll get you like a fucking proper set of chop Wait, your teeth. No Um, nice teeth. Are they kippies? Yes, they are. This is all right. Next one. This is from
Starting point is 01:07:42 This is a shout out to one of the histrionis people. This is carlin. I'm polish on my sausage is more like a cook preffish link Nice. Yeah, hunts. Um, have you ever used the bathroom scale at someone else's house? Which I have for sure done. Yeah. Yeah, but not like it was out, right? You didn't like take it out of yeah I wasn't like rooting through the closet Yeah, it was like sitting there. I'm like, I'm gonna fuck it. Well, I don't have maybe do a before and after you know what I mean I don't have oh, yeah, take a shit see how much weight you lose That's nice. Well, you take a peek through the medicine cabinet at somebody else's house No, no, no, because I don't need I don't really even know what any of that is. I'm snooping really
Starting point is 01:08:21 What do you hope to find? I'll take anything Really, I'll take the dogs medic. Whatever's in there. I'll take I've never uh, I've never taken any like Prescription shit like that. Hmm. Got a good head on his shoulders. Good head on his shoulders on his nice shoulders He's got to stay focused when he's murdering Yeah, yeah, I've not yeah, I've always wanted to but I never yeah, it's not for me. Yeah, what? I don't know. Just take like, yeah, never taken like Valium or anything like that or like Valium. I don't know whatever Hey, whatever people that's what I'm saying. I like I would if I opened up a medicine cabinet I would just see a bunch of words. I don't know. Talk to your mom. She knows it
Starting point is 01:09:03 Oh, no, yeah, she I got my wisdom teeth out in high school and she was so worried about me She she like wouldn't let them give me any drugs for it. Yeah, and they were all like impacted. It was fucking miserable Because she don't want you to get hooked. Yeah Smart lady. She's probably right. Yeah, she has the right I had a buddy that went in for like to get his tonsils out like when he was even as like as an adult They were like infected or something gotta get your tonsils out then like literally Six weeks he had never done drugs and like six weeks later. He's shooting everyone. Yeah. He's now But holy shit like literally like he would only he wouldn't even drink
Starting point is 01:09:37 Because we were all getting fucked up and he was like so paranoid like I don't drink hard liquor I only drink course light because he was like afraid of what like rum would do to him And then literally like weeks later. He was fucking shooting a page Right, that's crazy. My my generation. Yeah, my my like I feel like that. I don't know my generation sort of generation I don't know just the kids in my class and like high school. We like missed that. Oh, that was so no, see I'm 34. We were that was huge. Yeah. What do you mean? You guys should have been dude kids were Stealing fucking oxy's like crazy. Yeah, it was like two or three years below us was when that was like big
Starting point is 01:10:11 There was not a whole lot of like Coke and shit when I was in high school. It was all just like weed and booze And then shout out to the good time. Yeah, I mean, that's the good stuff right there. Yeah, but Eddie have a glass of wine Good night. Yeah, those kids got into it hard There's a yeah, there's a lot of kids like in a couple years behind us. There's like they got they got mowed down It was like They got yeah Shut up to Purdue you got hit with the Sackler family got bodies on them Sackler family dirt balls
Starting point is 01:10:41 They ran into a buzz saw just Most of my friends Most dude Friends of mine that I went to when I graduated with that. I know listen to this show That we're all fucking oxy heads. None of them got in trouble too, right? They basically just know a lot of who the Sacklers. Yeah, they they got their name taken off like the fucking like Lincoln Center But nobody's in the joint. Nobody's doing Don't get out of it
Starting point is 01:11:05 But there was a bunch of emails that like they found out that they buried and stuff. Oh, yeah Yeah, the shit that they've omitted that is fraudulent. I don't know if they'll ever do time But that's the thing is if you have hundreds of billions of dollars, you're never gonna go to jail They'll do like house arrest or something. Yeah. Yeah People will be like We'll just pay this big fine. Yeah, you know, it's it's like, yeah Right, you're gonna have to spend a fortune just trying to get them in jail and they'll keep like they can appeal Yeah, that's why the old rich guys never they always like no matter how evil they are
Starting point is 01:11:37 They always die before they go to prison. You know what I mean? Yeah, they can just keep drawing it out Yeah, yeah, they'll just keep appealing and fighting it and they wind up in some like halfway thing Sort of one foot in one foot out. That's why they call it a debt to society. They're like, we'll cover Yeah, we got it All right, last one here. This is from ryan jacob's Growing up, would you purchase a book cover for school textbooks or did you use the brown paper grocery bag? Brown paper grocery bag Oh man, the first couple days of school
Starting point is 01:12:09 Have my mom you my mom did that so well I remember like when I first had to start doing it myself. I'm like, what am I doing? No way Yeah, that was just like another thing that the girls did so much better. Oh so much cooking cleaning Yeah, just handwriting. Yeah You girls always have better penmanship, man. They really do and you could tell any guy with good handwriting like that was Writing notes and being a bitch Do you love me? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I like I have one friend who writes in that bubbly
Starting point is 01:12:39 And I was just like, oh mother fucker you're passing notes around like I was a note passer. Yeah Really? I guess is pexting. I mean in junior high A lot of kids had phones and really wait. There was text messages for you in junior high I think like eighth or ninth grade is when they hit. Yeah, holy shit. I don't think I ever wrote a note It's like I could barely do my homework. I'm not Writing essays. Fuck am I writing a letter for this kid psycho? Yeah
Starting point is 01:13:08 I never wrote a letter. Yeah, I don't I mean I Can't even can't leave trace evidence behind never Example never wrote a letter that wasn't a blood So I sign everything left hand. I have a new one that I wanted to do. How would you hold a pencil? Uh, this like this regular. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Why some people go this some people I well, I don't this is a new thing that I want to do on the show You get some old dirtball grimy. This is crazy. I can't respect you if you write like that But you know what I actually think that this is like this is an endurance position
Starting point is 01:13:38 You can write like this forever Right and like this you're like this knuckle star. Yeah, no guys sign in checks like this. Okay. Yeah, that's the way You're not signing anything. Yeah, that's creepy. Some people do this one. Yeah, that's what I want to get it I want to start asking all the guests how they hold a pencil my one cousin writes like that. Yeah, that's Crazy, right? You're how do you hold your little? She is great. I hold it like this No, no, I hold it like this Yeah, like it's fucking gentlemen. Yeah, okay. Thank god. You're not left-handed. I thought for sure you'd be left-handed No, no, no
Starting point is 01:14:12 This is crazy. This is just the most that's nuts. Yeah, that's banana shit I mean, I don't understand who taught those people how to hold a pencil I don't know. I think it's just they're like like they've never done anything This is kind of people just like they're bumping into shit. They're breaking stuff Like this is clumsy as fuck. I hold a pen good. But one thing I have is I hold pen good When I used to write like if I had to write like a paragraph by the time I got to the bottom It would it would be crooked the whole thing would be crooked
Starting point is 01:14:43 Like I couldn't like use each line. It would eventually get down to like where it would just be like three lines over here I'd like right on an angle Yeah, yeah, it was like open learning center. It was like fan out. Yeah bad news I mean, I don't I don't know. All right. Let's make a fucking I don't know. He's crazy clearly Definitely crazy. A lot of emotional issues. I picked up You're crazy. I'm like I would there's a lot going on. I would say he's kind of garbage. Yeah, definitely. Yeah, you're trash trash That's nice in weird ways trash
Starting point is 01:15:19 Yeah, it's upsetting and this is this is because I'm right on the line. Yeah, some things I don't see I wouldn't even say that wouldn't accept me and you know class. Yeah, you can walk in both worlds a little bit But also not not you know. Yeah, yeah Trashy people would think you're stuck up. Yes something like that classy people think it would think I'm trash Yeah, hmm Yeah, I mean So it's yeah, it's a real lonely life out on you. Oh, can I have a cold? Can you do that?
Starting point is 01:15:52 Yeah, we would do we like uh day old lasagna. Well, hold on. Would the whole family like it cold? No, but a day old Of course heat it up. No. No. Well. Yeah, but they liked it to make it Let it sit in the fridge for a day to like come together and then eat it They're like a leftover-ish kind of thing We'll see you next made the black. Thanks. Yeah, same with cake Make a cake the day before let it sit for a day eat it Literally what the I don't understand the benefit of that. That's crazy. So your mom would make dinner
Starting point is 01:16:27 Your mom would no one look at that till tomorrow. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, mom would make your mom on Tuesday night. You come over from school Hey mom, what are you doing? Hey, Chris. I'm making lasagna. Great. What are we having it next Thursday? Okay. Yeah, that's what you're telling me Yeah, and it would be like my dad's birthday. Was it or your birthday was a couple days away My mom would be like making a cake that would just be in the fridge until their birthday Wait, what why? Just I don't know. I do something. My I don't know my did you think it my dad What I don't know my dad always had like a weird like he wouldn't eat strawberries because there's too many seeds
Starting point is 01:17:03 He's like go And I remember being I never even knew there were seeds. I didn't even notice the seeds who gets angry at strawberries Yeah, that's fucking weird things and like any those guys build that Stay out of new jersey this guy this guy needs a vacation. Yeah, and that was always just yeah Just like weird tastes like that. It's like make the cake a couple of days. I like the leftover cake Yeah, that's I mean that's bananas. I don't even know what this Is I know what happens to a homemade cake With like Betty Crocker icing in the refrigerator. Yeah, it ain't good. No, yeah
Starting point is 01:17:39 It is it gets like kind of wet and crusty a little bit, you know, that's how I love my cake wet crusty folks Can I interest you a dessert? Yeah. Yeah. What do you have that's old? Any day old playing around? Yeah Go get the old bagels and shit Yeah, dude, that's bananas. Yeah, I like that Holy shit. I don't I don't the thing with the lasagna, man. That's like fucking That's wackadoo. Yeah, I just yeah, I like when I was living in Philly. I would like I would order
Starting point is 01:18:09 Like for delivery. I would just get like three cheese sticks. Can you bring it next week? You know to eat them over the next couple days. You but I would I would just eat cold. I've done that for the day Like oh, I like a cold. Then yeah the next day. Yeah, but he would order out for multiple days. He's saying. Yeah I mean if you're ordering your cheesesteak on friday for monday, they're grocery shopping at pizza place That's what you're doing. Let's put it in the cupboard. I'm gonna put it in an order Yeah, let me call cheesesteaks a little party over there. No, it's just me I'm trying to think. Yeah. I like I even like just a pasta dish That has like a like just a vodka sauce if it's all cold and just frozen together
Starting point is 01:18:49 I like that. You've had it warm, right? Yeah, okay Yeah Like sandwiches. I just I think I like when it's all stuck together. I see what you're saying. Yeah, yeah Like sandwiches. I don't it's more contained. Yeah, once I bite into a sandwich. I can't put it down I'm there. Yeah, it's like if I do put it down. I gotta like place like yeah. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, but all false I just started getting cold chicken farms if I fucking play and dude, it's way I'm like I could heat. I'm like, why don't I heat this up?
Starting point is 01:19:14 What are you talking about? It's just contained. It's all together It's like super glue folks. If you see this guy coming down the street Run Yeah, he's fucking full blown psycho Chris O'Connor. Is there anything you want the folks out there to know? Uh, oh, we're gonna be when is this coming out? Is this coming out like plug stuff? Not like where the bodies are buried I don't know what you're about to do. It'll be uh, it'll uh, it'll be out on youtube tonight. It'll be out tonight and tomorrow So you can plug this weekend. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I'll be a good nights in Raleigh with uh, Shane Gillis There you go. It'll be a hot one hot one
Starting point is 01:19:47 Cool. Um, yeah, I think I don't know probably a couple more dates coming up, but I don't know exactly when Absolutely fantastic. And then yeah, check out tires if you haven't seen it Yeah, amazing amazing and uh, yes the showber hood a little cartoon I'll make and that's it. Yeah, that's great. What's your patreon? Uh, it's I think patreon.com.com slash the showber hood. Very nice. Check it out. Very funny Very interesting episode Yeah, I'm sorry. I couldn't feel like I scared you guys. I could oh yeah. Yeah Yeah, I'm more afraid. I'm gonna be laying in bed thinking about cold cake tomorrow I'm more afraid of you now than I was before
Starting point is 01:20:23 And I think I was a little afraid of you to be honest So, yeah, nothing nothing to fear. It's so stoic nothing to fear There's cold dead eyes. Just let it go Holy shit kippy. What do you got for uh guys as always please make sure you rate the view subscribe on itunes full video available on youtube Patreon.com you can get all the bonus content to live streams, you know Fucking the tour of foley's house is up there. Oh, yeah, foley. They'll the tour of foley's childhood house is up there Mine's coming up soon as well as the car and uh, the new goal. We just added at 800 patrons
Starting point is 01:20:55 We're gonna do a fucking the honeymoon suite at the poking opal or what's it called the pleasure dome something Uh with the champagne fucking hot tub gonorrhea resort in hotel gonna be a good time. Check it out Wait, what? I mean fully gonna fuck for patreon I gotta get those numbers up. You know what I mean? Gag, we love you. We'll see you next week. Chris. Thank you Toby. Thank you kippy. I love you. Good night. Thank you Gag, don't miss the are you garbage after party over there on stereo app every thursday night at nine o'clock Uncle hankin and kippy are answering your questions. We're having a good time over there. Ain't we kip? Yeah, it's good. We get to mix it up with you guys
Starting point is 01:21:31 Uh, it's like the show but a little you know a little more interactive you guys get to ask your questions We take them live you get to record them. It's a good time. You gotta get involved. I don't know what you're waiting for Super fun audio quality is fantastic. You can sign up for free on android or iphone download it Follow kippy. Follow me. It's a great time. Yeah, we're gonna be going live every thursday getting involved the way

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