Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Corinne Fisher: Classy but Trashy

Episode Date: April 2, 2020

Corinne Fisher joins us to talk about eating trashy food, dating a drug dealer, and having yard sales. You may know Corinne Fisher from her podcast, Guys We Fucked, Two Less Lonely Girls, and performing stand up comedy around the country. SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEW.

Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast. This is Are You Garbage? I am your host H. Foley coming at you from beautiful Astoria Queens on this beautiful sunny day. My co-host, however, is coming from an undisclosed location somewhere in southern New Jersey. This guy's on the run from the corona.

Kevin James Ryan everybody. Hey, what's up guys? Thanks for tuning in. Happy to be here. Survived another day down here in the bunker, you know. Thanks for tuning in everybody. Obviously, real quick, please rate, review, subscribe, share with a friend, all that good shit. Take care of it.

Help us out. We appreciate all the support so far. Yeah, happy to be here. Very nice. And we have an extremely special guest today. If it wasn't for the COVID, I don't think we would have got her. I'll tell you that right now. She is not just a prominent stand-up comedian.

She is also a best-selling author and really a fucking trailblazer in the podcasting world. She's totally slummin' it right now with me and Kevin because she could probably buy us and sell us like two cans of fucking beans. Ladies and gentlemen, Corinne Fisher everybody. What an intro. That's how we do it. I was like, we're all friends so I wouldn't want it anyway. Fish, you're killing it buddy. We're so happy to have you here.

We appreciate you doing the podcast. Of course. You know, good to have human contact though. So I'm glad we saved it for this. So it could be that much more intimate and special. Yes. How are you holding up over there with the lockdown and all that? See, this question makes me so uncomfortable because I'm literally happy.

I'm of my life. That's good. Dude, I am on the borderline of that. I've been preparing for this for the last fucking two years. The only time I've been leaving the house is to go do stand-up and then come back and lay around and now everybody else is doing that. So the anxiety of not doing stuff is completely gone. Exactly. And that's the thing.

I just am always going and so stressed out all the time. You know me. You're always hosting at New York Comic Club and I'm running through a chicken with my head cut off. And that's how I've been living my life since I was in the seventh grade. So it's very nice to have this forced quarantine where I can just relax and only get two things for my to-do list done every day. And spend time with my dog in my apartment that I worked for because I hadn't seen it. And also I'm just very influenced emotionally by other people's energy. So I realized during this already, it's only been like two weeks, how much of a negative impact other people's energy has on me.

It's so bad. I feel so fucking energized. I can't stop smiling. And anytime I have an interaction with other people, even like a small one, which I know most people are like yearning for during this time. It's always bad. Like yesterday I was fucking walking my dog and a jogger tailgated me and I'm like, the city is empty. You dumb fuck. Yeah, what are you doing?

That's terrible. I'm down in South Jersey at my family's short beach house. Oh, like Marlboro? Like what area? Oh, even further south. I'm all the way down in Wildwood, New Jersey. Oh, Wildwood. Oh, I don't know.

That's awesome. I used to spend many weeks in Wildwood as a shot. Yeah, so we came down. Me and my wife came down for the weekend and then New York City shut down. So we're like, I'm not fucking going back. So we're hanging out down here. I'm like, it's like a vacation. You know what I mean?

We're in a three-bedroom house. We have like a huge kitchen. We go on bike rides every day. The island's empty. It's awesome. Yeah. We're hanging out. I thought I was missing human contact from outside because it's me and my girl here.

And I've never been one to chit chat with people on the street, just bullshit whatever. And I went out for a smoke before we started to do this. And that wore off in about two seconds. This guy who's the super of the next building locked by is like, hey, how you doing? I'm like, hey, how are you? You know, engaged for a second. And it took about three bounces of the conversations. I was like, all right, I'm done with this fucking guy.

Because just talking, when you start to talk to somebody and they have a difference of opinion, like he's like, I don't know what Cuomo's doing. I'm like, I think he's doing a good job. He just launches into a tirade. I'm like, all right, buddy, be safe. I hope you get it. Get away from me. The fuck out of here.

It's weird. I had the only like long conversation I had with someone I didn't know besides like podcasting and stuff was in the dog park. But I actually, that's like the one place where I love human interaction, because the people in the dog park who are willing to talk in the dog park, we all share this commonality that we like dogs better than humans. So it's always these kind of weird, quirky, interesting people. I'm a sound designer who did songs for me and Rosebud Baker in the dog park.

Like I'm making business connections. That's great. Like I love it. Yeah. And the woman I talked to this week, she was like, she was definitely like me if I don't play my cards, right? And like think about, you know, maybe getting married or something. But I loved her energy.

She told me about making four quiches and how the dogs are taking over her apartment. And I was like, I love this for you. So that's great. Yeah. You probably meet people that are used to talking to dogs more than humans at the dog park. So it's like, you don't know what kind of conversation you're going to fucking get. Yeah. I was worried about going to a pharmacy and I had to let her know that the pharmacy,

which CRC, the pharmacy will deliver to you. Yeah, exactly. So if I see a dog on the street, I never talked to the owner. I always just talked to the dog and I'll melt. I'll melt the second I see it. I'm going to go, I never talked to the owner. And I hate when the owner yanks the dog away. Like, what am I fucking pedophile over here?

I'm trying to pet the dog. Oh, exactly. It's a puppy file. I meet up that word on Twitter. Not too long. That's pretty good. I'm such a pupafile. Like I will walk on the street and just be like, hi doggy, hi doggy.

And I'll say hi doggy out loud. Like someone who's not all there. Do you get annoyed when you walk Alfred at all? People stop you? No. Well, that they're going to pay for that if they, if they stop me. Cause if anyone times someone leans down into Alfred, he goes crazy and barks and I, and I don't warn them cause he doesn't bite.

So it's like he's not going to hurt them, but he just has a really vicious bark for a little 17 pounds dog. So I just let him, I just let him, I go, oh, sorry. He's a little cranky. Like I'm really, I think it's how it brings me great amusement. That's great. Yeah. A little preview to the game.

We're going to start in a second here, but just out of curiosity, just to mark something off the list, the address the dog up and close and take them for a walk, other than like, if it's the middle of winter. Um, I was like, I, I, I give, I have a call me and cost him for him, but other than that, I don't close, but like, he's a whip it mix. So he actually does need like a sweater or a sweatshirt. Sure.

Shivers. So, and cause I was someone who was vehemently against dog clothing, but then I got this dog and I was like, Oh, like some dogs like medically need to wear stuff because they shiver. Um, but yeah, other than that, no, I don't take him in like bumblebee costumes on a Tuesday. I got, I got an aunt who dresses the dog up for like St. Patty's day and shit.

I'm like, lady, you need to get out of the house more. This guy. I do a themed like sweatshirts or sweaters, like around the holidays or something like, yeah, he'll have like a Christmas thing, whatever. But like, I'm not just putting costumes on him for no reason. I mean, except for the one time we put on like a cowboy outfit and then made him dance to, um, private dancer on video. We got to get you out of the house kid.

That's my best friend and I, we, we, we, we just sum up as a cowboy and then we threw dollar bills at him and made him dance to private dancer. Sounds like a good time though. I'm not going to lie. I would definitely, I would definitely partake in. Well, Tina Turner rocking it. Yeah. All right.

Curry's Fisher. You are definitely a standard comedian of incredible note. You've done incredible things. Um, but we have to find out, are you garbage? So we're going to ask you a series of questions. We want you to ask them to your best knowledge. We know a little bit about your background.

I just want to talk about that for a second and we'll jump right into it. You were born and raised in union, New Jersey. Correct. That is correct. Yes. Very nice. And what did you let us on the record already? I've been drinking a snap, a diet snap all the entire time, which is very garbage. So we're going to ask you a series of questions.

I've been drinking a snap, a diet snap all the entire time, which is very garbage. So, yes. You know what pisses me off, man? Fucking snapple switched over to plastic bottles. I know. I agree with you. Bullshit. It's not as cold. It's not as clean. Yeah. You can taste the plastic.

Yeah. I wholeheartedly agree with you guys. Um, what do my parents do as a question? Uh, my mom is a teacher, a middle school teacher and my dad owns a small card and a horror memorabilia collectible store. Whoa. Really? That's fucking awesome. Wow. In Jersey, I presume in union.

Yeah. It's in Roselle Park. And all right. So like you grew up, was it like a single home suburbs you grew up? Uh, exactly. Yes. Okay. Did you have a refrigerator in the garage? No, we did not have a refrigerator in the garage. I had friends who did, but we never did. That's clean living. You got to, you got a garage fridge.

That is fucking, I had one growing up. It's still the same one. It's that like white that's now yellow. Oh, it's fucking, it's great. Is that just like for like storage extra? Like cause people had a lot of frozen meats in there. It's a lot of the freezers always meets that no one's ever going to eat. They've been in there. It's like fish from 15 years ago and it's mainly just sodas,

like soda and water. Yeah. Okay. So does water, beers, ice pops for the kids in the summer. It's a real garbage thing. If you have a garage fridge, you're, if they're awesome, but your garbage. Oh, see this is good to know cause I always felt like, Oh, are we poor because we don't have two refrigerators, but we were just better than everyone.

The thing is, a lot of people think that it's, Oh, we bought two refrigerators. The one was like an uncle's or like it was, they sat down there on the side of the road. It's never, we went out one day and purchased two new refrigerators. One's always 70 years old and like rattles and shakes. Yeah. Okay. Okay. But let's stay on the topic of, of growing up a couple of questions

about the household growing up. Let's go into the bathroom for a second. What kind of soap shampoo did your mom get? We're using like bars, a dial. Did you have a bottle shampoo or bottled soap? What kind of soap did you use? When we first started, we did do, we had bars of like, it wasn't dial. I think it was like, I, like ivory or dove, like a little up that it

smelled like kind. Um, and then we, when body wash got like cool, we then elevated to like bath and body works. Those different kind of like smelly seasonal body washes. I had acne as a kid. So I was usually using my own like neutral Gina, like acne body wash. Um, and then for shampoo, everyone had different shampoo. I would use a head and shoulders cause he had. Um,

and my mom has curly hair. So she would use like some kind of like a sexual like bed head, whatever. And then I, for a while, I got really into using Johnson and Johnson no, no more tears, but that's just because it's actually really good for your hair. And it's actually better for dandruff than head and shoulders. I had a lot of problems. I was like dandruff acne. Like it was a problem.

You had a lot of medicated creams going on. It sounds like. I have a lot of like skin issues. So I always had like special stuff for me. I can't just use anything, but oh, and noxema was very big for me. I love noxema. Like the way it feels when you put it on your face. It's like smoking that menthol cigarette to your face. Oh, I love, I just loves the cool, refreshing feel of noxema. Yes.

But I do remember when you said when body washes got cool, I remember when they dropped and my mom brought them home for the first time for like my sit and I thought we were the fucking Rockefellers. I'm like, this is great. You smell like fruit and berries and rose. Oh, it's amazing. It's so cool. And like then they had like the, the, the foaming hand soap.

The foaming hand soap. Oh, I loved it. I love being. Yeah. We were, we were real garbage growing up. We had coast soap and the only shampoo that we were ever. What the fuck was going on? Coast soap. The only shampoo we were allowed to get.

And I still love it to this day was suave strawberry. Oh, that's not a bad one. Yeah. Oh, I love that. That takes me back. And we used to think people when herbal essence came out. Oh, that was like fucking caviar to my household. We got that like once every six months when the fucking, when the tax return came in. Yeah. Oh my God.

What about in the kitchen? What kind of, you know, basic stuff. Did you use Hellman's mayonnaise? You used Miracle Whip. Hellman's Miracle Whip. I didn't even know what it was until I was an adult and I went out and I loved chemicals. Like that's a me thing.

And I went out and bought it for myself and also it has like less calories and I was like very, I get, I, for a period of time, I was very obsessed with like diet foods before whole foods, not the, not the grocery store just whole, eating whole in general became what like we're supposed to do. I was like very into like sugar-free diet, reduced fat, you know, child of the 80s, like get any chemicals you can to replace nutrients in there.

Sure, sure. Were you a soda family growing up? If so, Coke or Pepsi? Whatever was on sale is the answer to that. Okay. And we were not allowed to, my dad drinks soda every day, like from the bottle, like straight from the bottle from a two-eater. Oh, that's garbage.

I love it. That's a little trashy. But me and my brother, my brother or not, my mom doesn't really like soda that much, like a little bit of caffeine-free diet Coke. Oh, cause on top of the acne and the dandruff, I also had a terrible bed wedding problem up until like age 12. Me too.

Me too. It was bad, real bad. Jesus Christ. My brother at Disney World at one time and like not sexually. So, um, but yeah, and my brother and I, we had like a soda restrictions. I love soda, but we were only allowed to drink soda if we were eating Italian food

or like as a- Why Italian? That's always a question we ask and that's never an answer I've heard before, only with Italian food. Like you can't eat pizza or pasta without soda. It just goes with the marinara. It does, it does. The bubbles and the carbs, it all works together for sure.

My mom's a logical woman, she knows. It makes sense. She's like, I'm not gonna be crazy. Now I got a, I got a question that defends well fully. Did you guys ever drink milk for dinner when you were growing up? Like if you sat down with like pasta, did you ever get a glass of milk?

Please say yes. I was like, no, my mom said that was for trash people actually right now. Right now. We had an every meal. We drank milk with dinner. It's the weirdest fucking thing to me. You might as well have a hard dinner.

What the fuck? Especially when you're an adult, if you're drinking like, like I don't drink people who drink like a glass of whole milk and past the time when you're like three months old, you should not be drinking whole milk anymore. Unless you're on keto. Yeah.

Dude, I drink it all. Dude, there's nothing better than an ice cold glass of whole milk and I shake it up before I drink it. Just shut drinking whole milk for like a month. You'll drop like 25 pounds. That's what I tell them. I say, I'm like, dude, cut the soda and the whole milk. You'll be looking like fucking Brad Pitt.

You already got the hair line. That is so true. Cause men drop weights so easily with minor changes. Right. I lost a bunch of weight like maybe six years ago, five or six years ago at this point. And like, I mean, within the first like week,

I was like three belt sizes down because I, I didn't eat pizza and soda every meal. That's crazy. I lost 30 pounds like in the past two years, but like it was based kind of on a, it was mostly on a medical condition, but like the amount of work, medication and doctors visits,

it took me to lose the 30 pounds. It's like, I'm exhausted just thinking about it. Anytime I'm dating a guy, he'll be like, oh yeah, I want to trim up and then like three weeks later, he's down, you know, we're really fortunate. We can lose it really quick. It's crazy.

All right. I got another one about childhood and while we're, while we're in the kitchen still, as you will, what mac and cheese, was it Velveeta or Kraft? Neither. My mom made it from scratch. Holy shit. Homemade mac and cheese.

Who's your mom? Martha Stewart? That's fun. Awesome. I don't even know you could make it at home until I was like 32. Yeah. My mom likes you cause she likes like the crunchy top, the baked kind of like,

I know how to do her recipe, but there's like multiple kinds of cheeses and you're stirring and you're eating milk and all this kind of stuff. Yeah. That's beautiful. That's a beautiful thing. You guys ever do any, any hickory farms,

baskets or Omaha steaks? Get that delivered? No. No, I'm clear with those, but we never did either of them. We are not like a huge, my mom is not a huge meat eater. No one in my family actually is like a huge,

huge carnivore. Like we would have steak or pork chops every now and again. I was always a very like minimal meat eater and I don't eat meat anymore at all now. But yeah, that was frozen. There was never any frozen meats. That's good. That's it.

Frozen meats is a telltale sign that things aren't, you know, things aren't always going so hot. Yeah. Fish checks, but that's it. Ooh. Love a good fishy stick. Every day before I'd leave for school, there would be a frozen steak.

Every morning, a nice glass of milk and, you know, Gordon's fucking fish sticks. Every day we would leave for school, before we'd leave for school, my mom would take some sort of meat out of the freezer and it would sit in the sink all day so it couldn't defrost. That's so bad for it. Like that's like so much back here.

That's terrible. That's so bad. We're alive. Um, I got him on, which I realized that I didn't realize was trash. I didn't realize it was trashy until I got older. Did your, uh, did your mom ever used to make shaken baked chicken? Yes.

I love shaken baked chicken. Kippy. Kippy, you're getting me starving over here. Come on. Shake and bake. Shake and bake chicken, man. My mom never made it. And then my parents had the words,

my stepmom started making it. And I went back to my mom like, yo, toots, you got to fucking get this bag going with the shake and bake. It is fucking awesome. Have you heard about this? Shake and bake. I love a shake and bake. I love a commercial for shake and bake.

It's shake and bake at hell. Oh my God. Yeah. I'm sorry. What about hamburger helper? No, we didn't do that. We didn't do a ton of box foods. I was like, shaken baked.

We did. And definitely we did shake and bake with stove tops stuffing from the canister, which I, I still to this day we'll get the get and make it for myself. Cause it's so fucking good. I think it's way better than regular stuffing and everyone can kiss my ass. Buddy, you give me a little,

give me a little stove top. You can keep the turkey. I'll tell you that right now. I would eat a bowl of, I, and I have like in college and stuff, I would just eat a bowl of stove top stuffing for dinner. It's, it's, I don't know what they're putting in there. And I probably don't want to, but like, holy shit.

Oh, it's great. This is tough so far. I'm getting a lot of mixed signals here, man. There's a, there's some pros. There's some cons in here. I know. Let's step it up a notch. I think this is by far,

this is the furthest one that we're not sure yet. I mean, like with other people, it's like the first question. We were like, oh, you're fucking trash, but you're, you're a ping pong game. Like a wealthy, fancy person. Yeah. We did have Jared freed who was not garbage. But his dad kind of was,

but that could still be like old school Jewish dad vibe. You know what I mean? That could have been, I was going to say, I was like, that's also why it might be difficult to tell with me because my parent, my mom is a Christian, my dad is Jewish. And so Jews tend to not be trash, but then we will do a couple of things.

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Exactly. Exactly. Did your parents smoke growing up? My dad changed smoke since he was like 12.

My mom never smoked. Now did you ever, this is from a, from one of our listeners, gutterslaw wrote in it and wanted to know, did you ever go to the store as a kid and buy cigarettes for your, for a parent? No. No.

Okay. I think that's, that's probably more your generation for it. I mean, I think me and Karen are the same age. So it's like, buddy, we were selling cigarettes. There was already some walls in place for fucking, you couldn't do that.

This wasn't, this wasn't the 1930s. I remember me and my buddy, Rodney Klein, we, in order for us to get money from his mom or my mom to go to the, the little deli, we'd have to,

we'd have to get them a pack of smokes and we'd go in, no questions asked, couple packs of bench and hedges, couple packs of marble lights and a couple of fucking dick ads. And we were on our way. Oh my God. That's terrible. Were you,

were you guys a bumper sticker family? Cause that's real garbage. No. My mom was like, my mom not only did, we're like, I always thought bumper stickers were cool and I would be like, bring home like a bumper sticker and be like,

mom, can we put that out? And she was like, absolutely not only garbage people do that. They were not allowed to do it. My mom would shit talk anyone on the road. And low class. They were. I fucking love that.

Your mom sounds like a fucking stripper. I fucking love that. Your mom sounds like a fucking straight shooter. For sure. I fucking love misc Fisher. You guys know me. Like I'm, I'm like not Mary fucking sunshine.

Like my aggressiveness up like 20%. And that's like my mom on a good day. That's awesome. That's fucking great. I love it. I love it too. You come home as like a kid like, mom, I want this on the car.

She's like, get the fuck out of here. Garbage people. We're not doing that. That's great. My mom would be like, no. I mean, I think it's a good point. Anything you do as a,

anything a kid thinks is cool on a car, isn't going to be, you shouldn't do as an adult. You know what I mean? Right. Like perfect kids. Like, mom, this would be so cool on our car.

But like we're, we're definitely not fucking doing that. Cause you're seven. I mean, I would have like, you know, Calvin, pissing on Hobbes or whatever. Yeah.

At the time. Yeah. Anything pro-American? Yeah. I mean, I mean, at the time. Yeah.

Anything pro-American is, is sometimes, because my dad's a veteran and sometimes his bumper stickers go a little too far. He's got one. He's got one that says, or had one. I made him take it off the car.

It said, if you can, if you can read this, thank a teacher, if you can read it in English, thank a veteran. I was like, buddy, what are you going to get your car keyed at the fucking grocery

store? Oh my God. Damn. I didn't know your dad was Donald Trump. Good for him. Holy shit. I just, I got,

I got two things that, and then one thing just to wrap with the childhood. Have you ever been to any of the following as a family? Have you ever gone to a yard sale or have you ever gone to an air show? I've never been to an air show to this day at all. Um, I've been to a hot air balloon festival.

Um, I think that's a little fancy main though. It is. I've been to, I've been to yard sales and had garage sales. Uh, but not as a whole family, just like my mom and I and my brother,

my dad was like running the store. So if you never came to partial family outings to yard sales, partial, it wasn't like to buy stuff for ourselves. I just found them fascinating and like more so we would have them and go to them because my mom would like to get rid of stuff. Yeah. Yeah.

But you have a permit in my town to have them. Like you, I mean maybe every town, but like you had to like, yeah, you had to have a permit to have a yard sale. I think everyone is supposed to, but most people just don't.

I never even heard of that. That's not me. Not in the eighties. I'll tell you that we were playing it fast and loose on the Saturday. Yeah. I've been running game. Um, I got another one head.

Did you ever go to the New Jersey state fair? Yeah, we loved fairs. I've been to Fleming fair. We're a big fair family. Carnival, fair, amusement,

mini amusement park. Yes. Fair's our fucking trash. We used to go to the Pennsylvania state fair at the racetrack every year for like two weeks. And we were so trashy that we knew like a, we had a hookup. We knew a guy that like sold the meat to the vendors.

I don't even know. We had like, we would get like free funnel cake and like, you know, we would be, it was free tickets. It was fucking traffic. But so fun. Yeah. It was so fun.

Yeah. I mean, my mom like definitely like, like would be like, you know, watch out for the carnies or whatever, but she, we love, like, we love like rides and amusement parks and like that kind of thing. Like, I said that I love it to this day.

I love it. During the summer. I'm like, pull over. We're going like the pop-up ones and like the parking lots and stuff. Oh, they were the lights, the funnel. They're so good. And it was also like when you could go, you would go with your parents and then you were like old enough to like,

bring a candy, you know, you know, you could bring a ball of candy or whatever you're like, oh, we're going to go do our own thing and then like, when you were like, free reign in a carnival as a young teenager, forget about it.

I just love walking through like eating a candy apple just having it like follow over my fucking face. Oh my God, I love that. The games you could win. Like as a kid, you could win like a knife or like, uh, you know, you wouldn't cool as a kid that like a 12 or 13 year old kid wanted.

You know, you get like fireworks or something. Like, you could have a picture of this spice girls framed in like a dollar frame and I want it, like doing the role of all racing worse thing. And I was so fucking proud of myself. Wow.

That just jogged my memory. Those picture frames, those doll. Oh my God, they were huge. So definitely unauthorized. Yeah. The spice girls didn't see any of that money. No,

that was. You got a license product. You got Beyonce to come down here to sign this. What? I wanted to backtrack. Uncle Hank, I am a big fan to this day of the candy and apple. Oh,

so good. So good. I don't think I ever had one. And see people who try to do caramel apple or something around Halloween, but like to me a candy apple is so far superior to any other type of apple that you can get. Cause you can still get it like down the shore,

like wild water point pleasant in those beautiful like tacky candy shops. So good. Some of them are still open now. There's like the only thing that's open. There's like one pizza place and a salt water taffy fudge place. I love that kind of shore food. Oh my God.

Point pleasant boardwalk and just eat like for days. It's great. Salt water taffy is garbage, but it is the fucking greatest thing ever. It tastes so good. I love banana salt water taffy. Eat it up. Love it.

I like banana laffy taffy. That's a, that's what was a big thing when I was a kid. Huge fan. Kip, you got anything to wrap up the childhood here? I do. As a, as a teenager,

did you ever spend significant time hanging out like a seven 11 or a gas station or any convenience store? Um, there was a quick check that popped up with when I was probably in like late middle school or high school that people would hang out in the parking lot. I didn't hang out in the parking lot a ton, but I did.

We would make like frequent trips there. Yeah. And then like when I was younger, there was a Cumberland farms and that was like the first place I was allowed to walk by myself, like to do a big girl like trip alone. And I would act like I was going to like the fricking mall. You know, I like get my purse.

I'd be like, I'm going to Cumberland farms. You're making reservations. Right. Like it felt very, it felt very adult, but yeah. So, but yeah, we did love, you know, we did love getting like a butter roll or like a sandwich from a quick check that was, that was, the suburbs as a teenage, like there's not much to do. So it's like everybody would like me that we would,

there was a gas station that we would just hang out at. And it would, you know, you're just skateboarding or whatever, trying to have people buy you cigarettes, that type of shit. For us, it was just, we went, we went to the diner. We went bowling or then in high school, we realized we all learned how to play pool and went to this billiards hall because we're like, oh,

this is like better than bowling. This is like a little bit classier. Hanging out in a pool hall is a young girl, real classic. I really like pool. I don't, I really like pool. Like to this day, I enjoy playing pool a lot. Pool is better than, than bowling. Bowling is fucking garbage.

I know people that had birthday parties at a bowling alley. And I was like, send my RSVP. I ain't coming. Cause that's garbage. That was like one of the hot, like skating rink and bowling alley were two of the hottest birthday parties when we were younger. Skating rink was huge. Yeah. Skating rink was great though.

The pizza had a skating rink. I don't know what Michelin stars chef, they had working there. But am I fucking skating rink? This guy can put out a slice like nobody's fucking business. I agree with you. I was in Girl Scouts. I mean, like slept over on the floor of the skating rink. That was like a popular trip.

Like you'd bring your sleeping bag. Wow. Really? Yeah. But like to get back to bowling, like as a middle class suburban Jew, bowling is a big part of our culture. So like my, my dad and my cousins are like extremely good bowlers. And like my, my parents actually both had their own bowling balls

engraved with the bag. They would go bowling frequently. And like my cousins were on like the bowling team at our local high school. Like, yeah, it was like a big thing. I think, I think there's a passage in the old Testament about Moses rolling a 300 somewhere. That's how he beat the seven 10 split. He split the,

he part of the red season hit a seven 10 split. That's good. I got, I got just two more about, about growing up. One, did you ever work at a mall? I did. Not until I was in college, but I worked at Victoria's secret, but it was in a very, very nice mall.

Like Victoria's secret was by far the trashiest store in the mall. Cause it was at a short Hills mall. If I don't, if you are familiar with that New Jersey, it's like a really like all the stores are like Versace Gucci, like, like celebrities will come in from New York city to shop there because we have the, you know, no taxes on clothing in New Jersey. I don't know if that sale stands, but yeah,

like, so I did work at the mall, but it was like a very fancy mall. And my last question about your childhood is, did you ever twirl or eat your hair as a, as, as a young girl? I twirled my hair and sucked my fingers so much that I hadn't when you put my hair down, one part was this high and one part was this cause I twirled this one so much that it didn't even grow. Like it was several inches shorter on this side cause I twirled and I sucked. I didn't suck my thumb.

I sucked these two fingers and I will go like this. Oh my God. My brother twirled his hair until he was in high school. The back of his head, he would twirl his hair like that all the time. I didn't know that was a garbage thing. I thought I was like an anxiety disorder. Yeah.

That's more of like a coping mechanism. I think that's not a, that's not an indication of your family's values at all. I sucked my thumb until probably sixth grade. Wow. Yeah. It's comforting. I mean, I loved it.

It was great. I never got into it. I got one more. It's not SNM, Kippy. You got time. You're during the quarantine. Get into sucking your thumb. Yeah.

My wife loves it, but that's just her. She's German. They're into weird shit, you know? All right. I got one more from back when you were younger. Did your parents ever put you on a leash? Um, I, oh, I mean, I, not like a dog. I know what you mean.

Like there was like child. Like if you went to the mall or. Yeah. Disneyland or six flags. Absolutely. Yes, they did. What? Yeah.

It was like, it was a Velcro. It wasn't, I didn't have the harness on my body. It was Velcro like on the wrist. Yeah. And then there was like a, like a plasticky swirly thing. Um, just so we didn't get. It was, I don't know. Like those were again,

very popular when I was a kid and it was like a, because I know I grew up in that age where it was like, don't talk to strangers. Your neighbor is going to fucking molest you. The guy across the street wants to give you anal. Like it was like a very scary time. Yeah. No, I remember we had one too.

I remember my, we never used it, but I think I don't know if there was one at the house, but the same thing. It was like the wristband with the curly, you know, like thing that would be on like a surfboard type thing. Yeah. And because they, like in the nineties, that was very like, we became aware that like, oh,

people are fucking wacky and they're going to steal your kids and stuff. Yeah. I had a whole song that my mom taught me, like if I get abducted so that I could remember my address and phone number to tell to like the police. Like we had, we would do like little drills of like where to meet if something happens, like who to go to like,

we had an estate plan. Like it was like fucking Holocaust times. It was ridiculous. That's not the 80s. Not the 80s kids. We played. It was fucking free for all back then. You got to a van.

That was on you. No more. You're going to ask some questions. What are you doing? Geez. That's terrible. All righty. Moving right along.

Have you ever, have you ever dated anybody that wore khakis to a wedding? Oh God, I don't, I don't, I've never been with, I've never gone to a wedding with anyone I was dating. Honestly. Anybody in your family ever wear khakis to a wedding? No, I don't think so.

Yeah. That's a big red flag with me. That's trash. There's always one guy at the fucking wedding. That's wearing a pair of khakis or cargo pants. And you're like, the fuck is black tie? What are you doing? Yeah.

No, always like a full suit. I need to my dad and my brother. Like I've gone to weddings with my dad, my brother, like anyone I've gone had full suit on. We went to a comedian friend. I was at Monroe Martin's wedding and there was a dude in a fucking Jordan full matching Jordan track suit. And the comics were fucking destroying that guy.

I mean the whole time we just laughed at that guy. His poor bastard got made fun of for three hours straight. That's awesome. All right. I got one. Did you, uh, as like a teenager, did you ever steal makeup from the store? No, I've never stolen anything in my entire life.

Wow. That was, that was big girls stealing. I'm like very, I'm a very, I don't know. I have like a weird, like moral, uh, like list of morals for myself. And I've always been like very against stealing. It just like bothers me a lot. I don't know. I'm the same way.

Yeah. So when I hear, I know friends of ours that like, you know, like going to 7-Eleven and it'll steal like a candy bar or something like that. And I'm always like, do you really want to be the guy that got picked up for stealing a fucking Snickers bar? Yeah. I did go through, um, a heavy drinking klepto phase, but I wasn't stealing likes, I would steal like a fork from my, my own like place

setting at a restaurant like that. I did that. Like I have like a fork and a knife, like maybe from like a, uh, and, but they weren't expensive. They were like really cheap used cutlery. I don't know. I just used to get drunk and think that was funny, but like I've never stolen anything like with a price tag on it from any kind of store.

We go out to dinner somewhere and like say like the glass we have a drinking is like really, really cute or like something really, really nice. And like my girlfriend will mention like, oh, it's so cute. I'll always try to be like romantic and I'll steal it at some point and hide it in my pocket and then, and then give it to her later. Like a present. Wow. That's garbage.

That's good. I was going to say, we do the same thing. I remember the one time I had a cool like beer glass or it was like a mug or something. And I'm like, Oh, this is cool. I was talking to my, my girl. I was like, Oh, this is cool. I would like to get something like this for the house.

And she just took it and put it in her purse. I was like, you are trashy. I love it. Right there. I have a couple of two broader questions. Number one, what would you say if you have one is your trashiest snack that you like that something that you love that maybe like doesn't go together, but you find it super comforting and you have it all the time

even as an adult. Like for me would be, I love peanut butter and jelly and bread and butter pickles together. I don't know why you put the bread and butter pickles on the sandwich or just eat them on the side. I eat them on the side with a glass of milk and peanut butter and peanut butter and jelly and potato chips. I know that's trashy.

I think I had peanut butter and jelly with bread and butter pickles literally during this quarantine because I have bread and butter pickles in my fridge right now. And so do I. I definitely have peanut butter and jelly. I mean, I don't see one like on like a, you know, a nut and a nut and a very sour dough, but like it was. Oh yeah.

So trashy a snack. What do you think? God, I'm trying to think. I mean, I just like something that if you told people, they'd be like, what the fuck? She's eating that. Well, I think my favorite trashy like meal, it's more like a meal is a sink called noodles and cheese that my mom made.

And it's real trashy. Basically it's like, it's like those thick egg noodles that you buy in the bag at the supermarket. And then you mix it in a big bowl, a big pot with just a shit ton of butter and cottage cheese. And it sounds disgusting, but it's really fucking good. It's really fucking good. And my mom was like, this is like a, this is like a great

depression meal from your great-grandmother. Yeah. Fisher. What the fuck? We got garbage here. Look out. Cottage cheese, egg noodles and butter. It's warm.

Yeah. It's like, it's like a, it's like a, it's like macaroni and cheese, but like just a different take on it. I'm telling you. I'm trying it. I'm trying it. Fucking good. Because I'm a, I'm a big, I know it's garbage.

I'm a big cottage cheese guy. Fucking good. No. Really? I don't like it cold, but when it's, when it's warmed and melts a little on the noodles with the butter, it is really, really good. I'm like a cold looking thing out of the bowl. It's the most comforting thing.

I mean, you were on the fence about garbage before, but I think that was the time breaker right there. Even depression style mac and cheese. I love egg noodles too. We used to get them when I was a kid. We'd have it all the time because we're Irish. We would always fucking put noodles with a little butter. Oh man.

All right. I got, I think I got one or two more here for you. Did you ever date a guy who sold weed? Yes. Oh, that's all I was. What age was it? I mean, pretty recently and he was like, What about a guy who rode a motorcycle?

You ever date anybody that rode a motorcycle and you wrote on the back of it? No, I've actually never ridden on a motorcycle. And that's one of my, my, my, my biggest regrets in life. I, it's very, it seems like something I would have done and someone I would have dated. I dated a lot of people who seem like they should have motorcycles, but none of them actually did. You ever owned any Ed Hardy stuff? You ever wore an Ed Hardy t-shirt?

Yeah, because that was really hot. I have one Ed Hardy t-shirt. I think, I think I didn't even give it up because I was like so proud of it. It had King Kong on it, like a long tunic style one. But again, like that was like, if you didn't have Ed Hardy when I went, when you were in high school at my age, like you were, you were not mine. Yeah, that was it. That was, that was big.

My one else's big too, thinking back to just, not just jog my memory, the Von Dutch hat. Remember those things? Yes. Big, big. They were, they were cool. When you know, simple life was very cool in like the early 2000s. Yeah.

The simple life. I used to love that show. Yeah. Such a good show. I love it too. But they weren't on a farm or something, right? There was something like that. They would do different things like they,

where they work different things because there was different seasons of it too. But like, I, that was one of the first major reality TV shows that really like jumped off and I, I, to this day, like, did you watch that movie on Netflix, American meme? I did. I watched some of it. Yeah. But I'm a big fan of, of pH if that's where you're going.

Yeah. Because I, I reminded me how much I love to Paris Elton and how much she impacted like my you. Oh yeah. I mean, she was the Kim Kardashian, you know, I mean, she was the forefront of all media for teenagers at that time. Yeah. Absolutely.

Yeah. It's great. I think I got one more here. Oh, this was big too. Did you, growing up, did you have black light posters in your room? Oh, for drug users, but I did like like them, but I didn't have any, I didn't have any like drug paraphernalia and like the kind of music I was,

I was very into pop music. So that kind of went along with like more like, edgier. Yeah. And like bands that I would get into later. I used to have them. We would have black lights. I was like, you know, I don't know, nine or something.

And with like black, I would just go in my room and like what, like with black lights on my mom must have been like, what the fuck is he doing? You know, I had, I had black lights from Spencer's gifts and like, I had a little disco ball that was like in my ceiling that I would find a light at and it was coral. So I had that.

You know what else was big too for us? The stars on the ceiling. Did you have those? Oh, I love them. It wasn't a lot because like my ceiling was painted, but I had like a ton of like posters from like spice girls, blink when I need to, cruel intentions.

Like I had all those posters in my bedroom, like thumbtacks to the wall. That was big, big. My final, my final thing here is. Can you name the top five things that gross you out that are deal breakers on all fronts with you top five things to crush you out. Kevin's, I think one would be cottage cheese. So use that as an example. Oh, wait, you don't mean like in a partner.

I just mean like you mean in life. Yeah, just in anything. Yeah. I don't even know. This is going to be hard for me. Something that people do the crochet out. Well, yeah. Okay.

So people, like people who don't wash their hands when they go to the bathroom. More positive. And I have obsessive compulsive disorder. So I wash my like, that's why I'm like, Oh, I'm thriving in this quarantine. Like I already washed my hands this much. I know that's what I'm paranoid about germs to begin with.

So I'm like, this ever the worst of the world is just catching up to me. I was, I've been training for this for the past 10 years. Yeah. I've washed my hands so well that multiple times in public restrooms, people have turned to me and go, are you a nurse? And I go, no, I just have. Just crazy. Just crazy.

Do you have surgery in an hour? So yeah, people who don't wash their hands when they go to the bathroom. Um, I'm really grossed out by people who have like dirty teeth. Like even if that's like, even if it's something like medically wrong with you, like fix it. Fix that. Always check it now.

Always like, ah, shit. No, you guys have fun. I would, I would remember like if you guys had fucked up teeth and I wouldn't have said that, but yeah. Fucked up teeth is like, I can't, like that's the thing. Like I can kiss someone with dirty, like I don't love dirty fingernails, but like that's, I'm definitely not a deal breaker. But like if you have gross teeth, like I can't make out with you.

Like your teeth are gross. Tough stuff. So that, um, I don't like when people, when like couples, um, go to the bathroom in front of one another, that's no for me. I don't like that. Like it's, that's weird. Even just peeing?

Yeah. We need, you need a, there needs to be boundaries. It's like, it's like Yankee stadium where I'm at right now. There's no, there might as well be no doors in this place. I'm peeing all over. I don't want, I don't love that. I mean, I'm not saying I've never, I've peed in front of like a friend. Like me, I've definitely peed in from Christina. Um, yeah, I don't,

I don't love, I just like, I love, I'm really big on boundaries. Like I fucking love, like I don't even, I've never lived with someone and I never intend like a romantic partner and I never intend on it. So like I want to get married and live in a different apartment for my husband. That has always been my dream for many, many years. We'll probably make it last longer for sure. Well, I just want to, I want to live like either in the same apartment building or on like the same street or like walk, you know,

within 10 minute walking distance. Sure. Yeah. I need my own space. It's very important to me. Um, gross me out. I'm not, I think it's gross me out. I think it's making me mad. Uh, Oh, when people put gum under tables, or like when you just stick your gum under something, that's guilty.

I've never even thought in my entire life to do it. Like I would just, just swallow it. Like what are you doing? That's what I don't get. I've been swallowing gum forever. That's garbage. You've been swallowing gum? If, if the choice is, like if I have to run on stage or something and the choice is put under a table or swallow it, I swallow it. I usually do have like an old receipt or piece of paper or like old gum wrapper that I can put it in.

But if I don't, I'm just going to swallow it 100%. We were always told that you could choke on it. That was like, that fear was put into us at a young age. Never swallow your gum. You'll choke. You'll choke and die. I don't know it. What's with you? You've been swallowing everything else in sight. So I think a piece of fucking Trident isn't going to kill you. Okay. Uh, it's too funny.

Kip, you got anything else? That's it for me. Karen Fisher, I'm going to say you're all class, buddy. You're all class. I don't know. I'd say class with an asterisk, maybe the cottage cheese kind of put it over the top for me. Well, it's funny. I've dated a lot of white trash people.

So it's like, I kind of like appreciate the culture of being trash. I have a very white trash palette. That's what this whole thing's about. We just, we realize that it's like growing up. It's like the things you enjoyed the most were like doing these trashy things with your family or the fact you're like, oh, I love that my mom used to make depression style, you know, mac and cheese. Like the trashiness is,

and the more we do this, everybody's like, oh, that is the best part of, you know, like. It tastes the best. It's the most fun and just like, you know, you got to live a little. Of course. Of course. Very true. Corinne, thank you so much. Is there anything that you want to plug or you want to throw out there?

Oh yeah. I mean, um, so you can listen to, I have a couple of podcasts. Guys, we fucked the anti-slut trimming podcast with Christina. Of course. That's like the OG that is on the arc, like six and a half years of the archive is on iTunes, but now we are exclusive to luminary. If you guys want to check that out. And then I have a brand new podcast with Joe de Rosa that I'm really excited about called without a country where we tackle

the most controversial news stories of the week from the perspective of the extreme right and the extreme left. It's really fun. Joe gets mad a lot. I flirt with him and make everyone uncomfortable. I'm on philanthropy gal at on all social media. So give me a follow. Sometimes I post pictures of my ass. Is that trashy? Probably. Not at all, buddy. I'm going to say, I always want to tell you this.

I don't know if I ever did. You're killing it. Uh, what you're doing is unbelievable. We really appreciate you coming on and, uh, and talking with us. Thank you so much. Kippy, you got anything? No, just, uh, go to my website for all live dates for the next three months. I'm all over the country, you know, uh, things are booming. So guys just, uh, please rate review, share with a friend. You know, uh, we just started. So, uh, help us push it.

We appreciate all the, uh, support so far. So thanks guys. Yeah. Thank you so much. You have a good, good rest of the day and be safe. Okay. You too. Nice talking to you.