Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Dan Soder: 90s Garbage

Episode Date: May 21, 2020

Comedian Dan Soder joins Kippy and Foley to talk growing up with a single mom, smoking cigs as a kid, and some clean suburban living. You know Dan Soder from HBO, Billions, and The Bonfire. PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Forman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? You're GARBAGE! 

Hey gang, it's your old pals Uncle Hank and kippy Kevin James Ryan special announcement. The are you garbage patreon is alive Oh, baby. It is up and running clean living go to patreon.com Slash are you garbage where you can get exclusive content? We're gonna have bonus episodes every week We're gonna have stuff me and Foley from the hard feelings archive We're gonna do live streams the whole nine yards Getting why you can buy low sell high what they say so check it out everybody go to patreon.com Slash are you garbage? We need this? Welcome to another exciting edition of are you garbage the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or

Absolute trash now here are your hosts Kevin Ryan and H. Foley Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast This is are you garbage the show where we sit down with your favorite comedians and find out if they grew up classy Or if they grew up absolute trash I am your host H. Foley coming at you on a beautiful day here in Bluebell, Pennsylvania Coming at you from my mom's basement and I can't lie the old broad can still make a meatloaf I'm gonna tell you that right fucking now My co-host is hiding out at an undisclosed location somewhere on the southern shore of New Jersey

Ladies and gentlemen the brains behind the operation the bookkeeper Mr. Kevin James Ryan everybody. Hey gang happy to be here still down here king of the boardwalk Fucking stop me, baby. Come get my belt if you want it Cake from here buddy. Yeah, I will for a while. I was the only guy down here But it's dude. They just opened the beaches and jaws dude. This thing is flooded with people now You're gonna be reporting on people trying to get them out of town fucking tearing it up down there I'm a local dude. I got Jersey plates now and everything. I traded them in But happy to be here guys. Thanks so much for listening

Thank you for all the reviews on iTunes all the subscribers on YouTube full videos available on YouTube Please rate review subscribe. Also, if you're new to the show go check out our previous guests We've had fucking if you're a comedy fan. I don't know how the fucking now listen this we have Mark Norman Joe Liz Bobby Kelly Louis J Gomez fucking I mean it goes on and on Paul Versey. So go check it out everybody. Thank you very nice Kevin Thank you so much and we have an absolute very very special guest We are so excited to have him here on the podcast today. You've seen him in train wreck It had to be you inside Amy Schumer difficult people Tarantula drunk parents not to mention

51 episodes of the hit show Billions is a comedy central half hour. He's appeared on Conan at midnight night train. What's your fucking deal? This is not happening this week at the comedy cellar late night with Seth Meyers the daily show with Trevor Noah Not to mention he's got an HBO special outright fucking now called Son of Gary And he is the co-host of the amazing show the bonfire Ladies and gentlemen the big question on everybody's mind today is is he garbage? Give it up for the one the only mr. Dan Soder late That intro was uncomfortable for me

It looked like it was uncomfortable for him to I thought he's gonna run out of breath midway through it It sucks when you have to hear all the things that you did okay on Fuck that was that was alright. You could have just said HBO and bonfire I That was the closest I've ever felt to winning the lottery was As a hypochondriac getting Yeah, I was like, let me just go I would honestly the first year I had it. I'd like let me just go get checked up Yeah, that's like bulletproof. Yeah, I was like, let me go get checked up and they're like, what do you want?

Let me go to an ENT Yeah, and I was like, dude, this is fucking what's up. It was like it was like getting your credit card for the first time Yeah, you're looking at it like it's an expensive the expensive restaurant menu like hmm. Yeah So I think I answered your question there cuz health insurance is the fucking Bentley to me Yeah, oh my god, sometimes this hurts. Can you touch it? And then just having a just having a doctor with firm hands be like you're okay Oh The first year I was in SAG

I thought that you just got it automatically and then I find that you have to make a certain amount to get it Yeah, and fucking then at the end of the year. I was like, all right. Well, I'm sure I have enough I look at you got to make 17 grand. I was like in $15,500 short Dude, I I didn't even think about it because when I joined I knew that and they were like you need to make a certain amount And I had to join I was a force join because I used to work at WXRK in New York, which was K-Rock. It was free FM and then it turned to K-Rock And I was a overnight DJ there and that was aftra and then oh, yeah, I never paid my after dues

I just never paid them. They were like you got to pay your after dues and I was like living Hand-to-mouth. Yeah, no way to do a comedy I was a waiter at those caminos and I was doing overnight shifts and that was my money My main in source was K-Rock, but I was doing I want to say two or three shifts a week So maybe I was making $400 $500 and I'm like, I'm not turning around 300 of that. Yeah. So for two years, I just didn't pay after and then I did Live at Gotham on Comedy Central and they're like, we're gonna give you a pass SAG was like, we're gonna give you a pass. You have to pay SAG, but you don't have I was like, great

And then I did I Amy Schumer put me in a sketch in season one of Inside Amy And also I was supposed to do Conan And then I get a call from my manager and he's like, hey, have you paid your set your after dues? And I'm like, yeah, they find you man. They fucking you don't think you're anybody's radar Find you never thought about it and he's like, did you ever pay that and I was like No, why he's like you they're holding you I wasn't allowed to film Amy show They were like Amy texted me and she's like you fucking moron. You don't pay your dues and I was like Yeah, and then they were like, hey, we're gonna block you from Conan and filming your Comedy Central half hour unless you pay it

So I had to like Scratch together. Yeah, dude had to borrow some money because I wasn't making any I was doing stand-up But he was like, you know, I'm gonna make his shit and I was like, fuck. Oh, fuck. And then $3,000. So I never even thought of insurance And then billions comes around and be like, you know, you're eligible for insurance All right, I was on Cobra. I was like, all right, whatever because I used to You got a monocle on all of a sudden Oh, I have a specialist I have a specialist

Pd. I get to know the words. I don't know words for doctor. He's got referrals out the ass, baby Wiping his someone explained to me what a dermatologist does. Thank you You should for used simple terms for me like head doctor This guy's a head doctor and I'm like, so you do all the head stuff. You do everything up here got you There's dudes that just do the skin. Did you know that they just do the skin? I went to a tummy doctor and got to talk to him It was pretty good. But it was uh, you put a flashlight down my throat and told me I was sick Well, when I moved when I was waiting tables one of the guys I worked with my buddy Eli was like, hey, you can go to This is like 2007. He's like you can go to

Bellevue and Show them how much money you make And then it's a non-profit hospital. So So they they have or they have like a non-profit wing. I forget what it was but You go into this room. I showed her one of my pay stubs from the from waiting tables She gives me this red card and

I could go see a doctor for $20 And it was like that was it. It was just $20. I think it was just $20, but dude the waiting room Oh It was like it it was fucking insane. It was one of the things where you're like, I've compared it To the cantina and star wars. That's the only thing You just see people with like giant moles on their head and you're like, oh my god And then they're looking at me clean cut white dude, and they're like, what are you fucking doing? Yeah, you're here to audit the place. Uh, yeah, I'm like, I'm undercover

I'm with Pfizer I'm just here to get some names and numbers You're doing a what would you do for abc news? Yeah, undercover boss I have the owner of the hospital. I'm a hospital. Hi. My name is dan hospital. I own the hospital You have like a fake beard on it looks terrible. Fucking dan belview. Yeah. Hello. My name is daniel belview My family's own belview hospital. We've been we've been knocking weirdos in the side of their heads for four generations That's what I thought you were gonna say I thought you could go to belview

But you had to like fake that you were crazy You had to go in there and like shit on the floor to get to see a doctor or something like that So I've had I've had like acid reflux like a long long time and I used to do Yeah, and I used to drive when you were a kid because I had it when I was a kid and didn't realize it No, I used to and I would just be like in sixth grade like what the fuck I just like this is kind of fucked up and sick But I used to like the feeling of heartburn when I was a kid. I was like, I was like, no, what's up? What's up with that?

And then as I got older I I started smoking when I was 12 and then I started uh, like heavily smoking when I was 14 14 or 15 and 16. I was a pack a day until I was 30 and I know I never understood how kids would be like, yeah, I smoke a pack a day I'm like, well, what are you smoking at lunch break and then like 15 after you get out of school? Yeah, I'd rip two before the bus The bus would pick me up at like 715. Dude morning six as a teenager it was fucking a okay Okay, dude, bro, I'm talking preteen not a teenager. I'm talking about

Me and my boy Byron would sit every morning you come over my house and in one hand He'd have a Salem light and in one hand He'd have a marble light that he ganked from his mom and his stepdad And then he'd come over and he'd go pick a hand and I'd pick a hand and then that was your cigarette And then we would go to the bus stop at 12 13 and just sit and smoke cigarettes before the bus I always I had this thought recently but like How did that bus driver not be like

Are you just fucking smoking? Dude the 90s was wide open, dude. You would see a kid smoking. You'd be like, yeah, whatever man used to buy kid cigarettes Out front of the store. I I swear to god my fucking thing in eighth grade was on friday after school I would ride the bus home with all my shithead friends everyone would go drop their backpacks off I would grab my mongoose and then I would ride his Goose kid not too shabby by the way self paid A Kennedy over here. Oh, no, I don't fuck you guys. You guys didn't hustle. I bought that shit myself I promise you I had a the bike I had before that loose, baby

The bike I had before that was an orange mountain bike called A mud and guts Remember the mud slingers. They were bad news. The mud. Yeah, it was from target my mom They were like toy bikes not real bikes. It was like a real bike. Yeah, when I got when I got when I got the goose It was my mom was like, you got to buy that Danny Saragusa over here, dude What was that? What was the peg situation on the bike? I got no four pegs. I just had a goose. I just had the goose, dude Was it the silver one with the black?

Yeah, it was silver. It was silver with the blue long goose riding on it. I forget what it was called They all had names, but um, you know that bike was Man, I fucking even bringing it up right now I know dude having a good bike as a kid was awesome. I bought it. So it was like That was my bike. You know what I mean? Like it was like your car, dude Yeah, my mom was like, fuck you. You're fucking grounded. I'm like, can't take my fucking bike away. I bought that shit. So Yeah, like a disgruntled employee I'll take my break whenever the fuck I want to garen my mom and I would have fights like that

I mean, I'm the only child of a single mom. So it was like those were our fights every day But this I'm just geeked up talking about smoking cigarettes because I used to take my bike. I used to take the goose I'd usually I'd usually go down to Jason poil and nick meyers nicky meyers and we would Ride up to sir. Dr. Meyers now I think he's got like a business. I think that I think he's like, um, one of those like lawn doctors You know what I mean? Like a franchise guy. Oh Oh, gotcha. Yeah, I think I gotta look at I gotta be a better friend to people. I'm a groundskeeper He's not a groundskeeper. It's like the step above that like yeah, like they they bring specialists and be like

This is the kentucky bluegrass. You need this outside the outside the bunker on hole nine that kind of he's the sod whisperer He so we used to ride up to circle k and then we would ride on hand circle k's trash. Yeah There's some trashy dude. We're not gonna have to ask any fucking questions. This guy's telling us everything. Yeah, I'll sing like a canary Yeah, dude. It's like we we knocked on his door. He opened up. He's like What took you so long? He just spills his beans about being garbage But we used to ride up and this was the 90s. This is what you were saying how wild the 90s were We used to sit on the side. We're 12 We're 12 and then 13 we'd sit on the side of circle k and we wait for people to walk in and then with three dollars in our hand

We go, excuse me sir. Can you buy me a pack of cigarettes? You just ask like that You're just one movement like sir. Can you please buy me a pack of cigarettes and every guy that was like no, man? I was I was like, fuck you Fucking pussy. Just a kid trying to smoke over here, dude. And the guys that would say yes I was like, dude, you're the coolest. You thought they were the coolest dudes a lot of wife beaters You thought they were the coolest fucking dudes now. I realize now. I realize what a bizarro perspective perspective to have People buying kids heaters Oh, yeah, what do you want? Marble reds at 12 years old

And I would always specify I'd be like hard pack Box, you gotta go box. You were doing soft back as a dude if you're doing soft back as a 12 year old you had other issues So I don't know if you guys remember this in the 90s They would put cigarettes on the counter cigarettes weren't uh all behind it vaguely Yeah, they would have like a little display like a Winston display or a cool or something. Yeah. Yeah So it's funny you say that because I just remember my I think it was nick or Jason had this move where they had a starter jacket, right? And they would like put their hands

They'd put their hands on the counter and then ask for you know, like Hey, what's up with that? I get some batteries or something And then they grab a pack off the thing And wing it And then just like put it in their pouch or like put it in the thing and be like, oh never mind You know, I'm gonna get out of here and it was always soft packs soft packs were the ones that were always on that counter So I remember and I used to put them in M&M minis. Yeah, the little cases Yeah, I used to put my cigarettes that are altoid cases. Yeah, that's pretty sweet

We we did we did weed in the altoid case and then that that little tube was perfect for burnies, dude It was great perfect perfect cigarette holder and then in fact I have a scar on my fucking hand and I don't think you'll be able to see it I would show you guys if we're in person It was from when I was in eighth grade Uh in uh this girl Laura's basement smoking cigarettes with all my friends and I was burning One of the M&M mini things Plastic fell on my hand. Yeah

And I've had that I'm 36 years old and I have that shit still on my hand Fucking piece of shit, dude. We used to do the same thing. We'd sit outside this place with fucking village shires I'm just at the deli and like wait for this The guy you would always know he would pull up he would leave his car on if somebody was smoking you always ask them Always ask the guy smoking, but if it's like some 22 year old hopped out of his car left it running You were like this guy is a fucking mark right here. Yeah, and if he was playing rush loudly I could probably get it You're like I could probably get this guy to buy me a curtain and I don't have the funds

Well, what we would do is we would do the they were like, I guess This is I don't know too too that late 90s. I guess Because i'm 33 So they were like 275 maybe three bucks a pack and we would have a five like somebody would have a five dollar bill We're like, hey man get yours and you'll you can like almost get a pack yourself So you're like getting a free pack of cigs giving them two dollars to buy you To buy things, but we would spin it to another cig smoker like you you can get you can get yourself a pack Sure. Yeah, we had a homeless guy that lived behind

He like kind of lived behind there, but he would drift Yeah Live behind grocery warehouse, which is like because I grew up in like the burbs. I grew up in like a middle class suburbs Yeah, but middle class kids. I try to explain to people it's like If they're not rich Even if they are rich, but most of the time middle class suburbs are bored. They're like bored. So they do Bad. Yeah. Yeah. They're like, well, there's nothing to do. Yeah Yeah, and like every one of my friends parents both of their parents worked every every one of my friends both of their parents worked

so it was like This almost there was no cell phones. There was no way of tracking. So it was almost like from 3 p.m. To 6 p.m It was wide open. It was flawless Wherever you wanted to and you just know you kind of had to be back at a certain time So you're like if I'm going an hour away, I got to get myself an hour to get back Do my mom was a Totalitarian leader like my mom was a fucking I was scared of her. So I would be like dude the even if you say 5 p.m. To me. I'm like

It goes down your spine. Yeah. Yeah, but that was when my mom would get you know Would get home from work or be like around 5 36 o'clock and so I'd always be like, dude, I got to be home by then so you'd have the You know like the spray the cologne Oh The dryer sheets we found were a good one bounce sheets down sheets You could keep them in your pocket. They never knew like you didn't have to it wasn't over the top either Put in the paper towel roll too. Yeah

That was this. Yeah it was um When I started smoking weed consistently At 15 bounce sheets were like that was it dude, you could walk into school ripped and just Have it and if I dusted with a bounce sheet, I'd be like, I know I'm killing dude. Yeah No one's gonna tell me I just smoked a blunt in my Honda Accord Mr. Soda smelling good today

Dude the one I got caught with is You could uh, this is late 90s talk, but you could go online and buy a not this whole modcast is by the way It just ends. I'm talking about the 80s and 90s. Yeah, but if you you could buy a novelty ID Which will oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, if you bought this like I want to say this is 1999 So you basically take you go get a passport photo, you know at like a photo place You you mail them a passport photo of you you buy this novelty ID and they send you back like a driver's license with your photo in it And this is before the scans and shit. This is before they scanned them So you just get this idea that said I was from Connecticut. My name is Daniel Miller

And I was 21 D mill, baby. Yeah, dude. It's old Danny Miller First thing with that. Hey, I was 16 and I had a fake ID and I went and got a tattoo on my back Because I got a tattoo. I got a crucifix in the middle of my back Of course you did that's what all the 16 year old knows how to get as a fucking crucifix Are there initials also my mom because my dad and my sister were dead and so I was like, oh, I'm gonna get their tattoo I'm gonna get their initials on my back. So my mom was like, whatever. That's fine. My mom didn't give a fuck She's like that's sweet. You want to do that? I went to the tattoo. It was the what was it called?

It was right on Eilif in chambers and it was a mini mall tattoo shop called the tattoo shop. I want to say I was 16 years old and I gave the guy my ID and he's like cool, man. What do you want? I want a crucifix with a banner around it and a soft pack Yeah, I did. I already had that. Come on. I was buying booze at this point And I was like and uh with a banner around it that says soter and he was like soter and I was like, oh Yeah I was like

But then I would buy booze for everybody like I would I didn't even really drink That was the weird thing. I wanted the id more for cigarettes and porn like I that's what I cared about It was like, I want to buy packs of smokes and be able to go buy a fucking VHS of porn at newsland So I was like, why don't why don't I uh And I started buying booze and then like people wanted to hang out because I had that, you know like yeah, of course Yeah, all of a sudden they were like, oh like the girls in my grade were calling me being like, hey We're going to a party And then there'd be like people would invite me to the party and be like, hey, can you stop by the liquor store?

I knew my fucking worth dude. Yeah I was just a schmuck that had a fake id. That's all it was Dude, I went to this uh, my mom lives in the apartment complex right by this liquor store. So I drive by it all the time It was right on uh, it it's now closed But it was this massive liquor store and I could buy kegs there. That was really big I could buy kegs of beer and we could have keggers and then I could return the keg and I had this fake id And it fucking worked beautiful. Yeah, I didn't even idea me after a while. He just knew me Yeah, just yeah, yeah, and I'd buy smokes. I'd buy like two packs of smokes

I never bought multiple brands of cigarettes. I always bought camo lights in a box because that's what I smoked So I wanted to make it look consistent. Sure I'm not gonna buy cigarettes for teenagers. I'd rather go do that at a gas station So I'm not gonna not gonna ruin the booze connect. You know what I mean, dude? And this place would gotta hedge your bets crown discount liquors It was fucking massive. It was just it was a corner of a mini mall. It was the corner store It was just this fucking giant liquor store And I remember I had like, you know, a couple bottles like vodka tequila a crown royal bottle

Everyone had given me money. I had like two 12 packs. I like rolling rock because you know, I'm garbage Yeah, the whole point of this thing and it's always a diverse order when you're doing that when you're buying liquor for a bunch of kids It's always a lot of weird red flags that's gotta go off at the dude selling it Exactly. So you also have to you have to buy big small amount of things buy big So like if you're gonna buy beer by all bud light, so it looks yeah, but I had with some rolling rock I had it all mixed in whatever the guy behind the the counter So, you know, so I load up this big box, right?

I got this big box of booze and I walk out in front of crown discount liquor And I walk by this gold blazer and I'm just like whatever and I go into my car go to the party fucking weekend Whatever weekend's fine. I come to school on Monday and my best friend Danny is like hey, dude Coach Anderson our football coach. He was like he saw you come out of the liquor store With a box of liquor and I was like Oh man I'll make immediately my mind. I don't care if coach Anderson's mad at me. I don't give a fuck. I suck. He didn't give a shit about me I don't give a shit about him

What sucked is I knew that blue. I knew that blue crown Yeah, yeah, I mean then I found out because coach Anderson liked Danny my best friend because he was on we were both on the football team But he liked Danny and he told Danny he was like yeah, I went in there and told him like, you know, you saw What a fucking dick. Yeah, you're like fucking nard, dude. Yeah, but I mean that is I guess that is the point of a teacher He's in charge of children. You know what I mean scumbag doing the right thing. What the fuck? Yeah, my whole life have been like what a piece of shit. Now my 30s. I'm like, no, that's actually

Kind of checks out But uh, I never said anything to him about it Never said anything to him about it And then there was just one afternoon where he and I are walking He was a security guard at the high school and we're just like walking down the hallway And then I had a can of coke and I just walked by and I go just coke today coach. Hey And I got him to laugh Fuck this we're out of it, you know

I was gonna be like because part of me you're scared of adults as a teenager. So you're like, I'm sorry I'm sorry, but then part of me is kind of like fuck you for snitching and then part of me was like, you just make fun of it Yeah, come on. What the fuck? Yeah They were teachers were cooler back in the day like they like he would he would go in and blow up the spot So you couldn't get it anymore, but you still could make that joke with them and he would get it Yeah, that's what was awesome about it or call my mom and yeah, or have you arrested? Which uh, my mom knew I was drinking So, yeah, yeah, I don't give a fuck

It's funny. That was that was probably the best deal of my setup growing up Is once my mom and I made amends when I was 16 and she was kind of like you can just do whatever Yeah, just don't drive drunk. Don't drive high. Do it here. Do it here in the garage. Don't do it in the house Oh, it's the best Hold on. What are the first did you ever sit on it? Did you ever couch in that garage? Uh, no, but we had several lawn chairs. Okay. Oh, that's even worse. I think But hanging out in the garage And we found this thing called the bone phone, which was this old

Speaker dude, I gotta look it up to see if you can even see this thing. It's called the bone phone and it was uh, a transistor radio that was um, like a belt of speakers Covered with this like blue Cover, you know like a soft blue cover and you attached it to your dog And so when you would jog you could jog with your dog. This is like an 80s invention Like you could jog with your jog with your dog while listening to the radio I don't know how the fuck me my friend denis found this But we had the bone phone and then the bone phone was just that that was the music we played in the garage

While we were getting fucked up was from the bone phone. You're tuning to 83.7 the bone Yeah, you like you're listening to ks 107 5 Oh the new nelly It is getting hot in her nelly. It is the garage has no ventilation. So yes Very hot in her It's funny. We we've had we've had a pretty eclectic You know group as far as like backgrounds on the podcast like city between city kids and suburban kids Kevin and I are both suburban kids, you know middle class and there was that that that that is what like, you know

Brought everybody together. It was boredom and the city kids are fun But the ones that we relate to more and like the reason we wanted to have you on like I I got that vibe from you That you were like, you know, like I feel like my judge wrote your childhood. You know what I mean? Like just that that boredom small town kind of shit. That's what really makes the show. Yeah, I think it's um I think it was a weird situation to be in because My mom is, you know educated and Successful like she was a medical malpractice mediator for years She was fucking super smart and like a bad ass just someone that's kind of like fuck this shit

I'll take care of it Which is obviously why I was terrified of her and it was just her and I for most of my life So it was like this weird thing where I was growing up in the suburbs So on the surface, I was like, this is really nice. There's like, you know, I mow the lawn every Saturday. All right. Yeah dog I go to school with like a bunch of kids. There's no crime really in my neighborhood And then I would go to see my dad and I'd be like, this is white trash Crazy I've never related to a scene more than in the departed when mark walbert's talking shit to leo about going to his dad's house on the weekend

Two different accents. I felt like I was like, you mother fucker stole that for my life. I know Because I would go I would go to and I'd only see my dad like once or twice a year I really only went to visit him where he lived in that lake town where it was super white trash probably Four times. I think I went up there, but every time I was like it was like three weeks and you're like this is nuts A lake town's pretty garbage. I'm not gonna lie Anytime you have to go up to a lake town if that's not a good direction to a not a good place. Yeah north north

North is always bad But it was it was funny because I said this on stage one time But I truly mean I'm like if you live near a lake you either have all the money or none of none. Yeah, exactly. Yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, my grandma moved up there from san francisco back in 91 to retire She was like, you know, she's 93 now, but she was like um retiring and she Up, you know up near clear lake is like where a lot of people from san francisco used to go vacation It was like back but back in like the 50s and 60s. They were like, yeah, let's all go to the lake

Yeah, yeah, that's like the pokonos now and the 50s the pokonos was fucking You go there now. It's fucking you got a trailer full of meth on you I've never thought of that till you just said that But the pokonos is east coast lake county. Yeah, absolutely The pokonos is trash now. Yeah, dude, because you go up to lake county and you're like, this is fucking beautiful It's beautiful and then you get a loan at a gas station with a guy and you go Do I know how to fight do I know how to fight to save my life? Dude, I saw a guy go. I've seen so many people ride bikes that aren't doing it for the sport

Oh, dude. Yeah, anytime you're riding a bike on a four lane highway. It's never it's never a good look It's a grown man on a bicycle outside of new york city. You're like this dude's on hard dude Especially if it's a BMX bike, it doesn't have like the mountain bike handles if you're dude If you're a grown man on a BMX bike If you're a broken down mountain bike and you see the guy in work boots and a heavy coat with shorts on That's a fucking scary. Definitely with that with a plastic bag on the handlebars, too So once my grandma retired up there, I just have been going there since I was and listen. She's got a nice townhouse She lives by the lake. It's fucking nice where she lives retired there though. That's a little bit different

She retired there, but my dad was a while He was trying to plant a seed there. He's trying to raise his flag My dad was trying to do nothing but drink and fuck up there like that was all my dad And it was he didn't give a fuck about anything. So it was interesting to have my mom who's like a tight personality and is like Did you mow the lawn? Did you take out the trash? Did you clean the dog poop? And you're like, yes, mom I did that and she's like, all right. You have to read john steinbeck this summer And you're like, why do this to my dad's like, look, you got haters on your brother rip

Smoke him if you got him daddy. Oh, let's do it. He's like, this is my roommate jim Sawed off shotgun under the couch. Yeah, if you're ever in a pickle Yeah, sort of god jim showed it to me and I was like, I'm 12. Why are you doing this? Who's this john steinbeck motherfucker coming around your mom's house? Yeah, I hear this john. She's hanging out with a john Yeah, my uh grapes of my nuts. I'll tell you that my mom also dated So that was also like a thing where you saw a bunch of rando dudes kind of come in You know what I mean? And that's a weird thing because I was I was jealous of my friends with married parents

Not because their parents were married just because their weirdos weren't coming over Coming just hanging around the house. Yeah And it's like it would always be like my mom my parents would divorce had to be like 9 30 She's like, yeah, joe's gonna stay over. I'm like, oh dude, the worst was the fucking hey tom is uh Tom's gonna be here for breakfast tomorrow. Do you want anything special and you're like, don't fucking bury the question Don't bury the question like you're making me a special breakfast because I'm special It's because you're gonna get down Yeah, hey you and tom really seem to be hitting it off. What do you say we have breakfast in the morning?

Oh, you know a story a story that I completely forgot about until I got into therapy Was my sixth birthday party my parents split up when I was five and my dad moved to san francisco So it's just me and my mom and aurora And it was like my sixth birthday and batman was in theaters the original batman Tim Burton's so it was all I wanted was batman. It was like If you That was all I gave you shit about on my birthday It was like fucking batman and I remember my sixth birthday my mom and her boyfriend tom

If I can my mom got me the utility belt from Toys R Us the Batman utility belt. So I'm already like Yeah, what a fucking day I was like, maybe tom will uh, you know We'll play batman or whatever and then I noticed my my mom and tom are getting a little giggly, right? And then I noticed that they're just fucking slamming mimosas and they just got hammered on the morning of my birthday And I just remember feeling that uncomfortable feeling of like Are you guys fucking drunk? Six and it's like that's what's crazy to me when people with uh people that didn't grow up around alcoholics where they're just

I saw my mom drunk and it scared me and I was like you bitch ass I knew my mom was hammered by the time I was eight. I was like, oh tris is fucking in the bag Dude, I legit had my dad gave me the don't drink and drive Conversation while we were both drinking in a pickup truck He was literally like I was like 17 He like handed me a beer and he already had an open one between his legs And he's like you shouldn't be drinking and driving. I'm like while there's open containers. My man. Let's do it Dude, we moved we went we bought like a uh couch in boulder when I was like 10

And my stepdad nick and I went and got it in a u-haul and he was like Do you want to drink an ode duals and I was like what and he's like it's a non-alcoholic beer and I was like Okay, and he's like, I don't know I want one so I'll buy two and you can have one. I was 10 Like sitting there like a nom vet. I was like, sure man, whatever and I just distinctly remember driving on Back from boulder to Denver drinking the fucking old duals with my stepdad nick and I was like Now I'm like what the fuck imagine do imagine if you did that to a 10-year-old right now Give me a 10-year-old old duals and be like this thing. You'll get used to the taste of beer Yeah, you give a 10-year-old a dr. Pepper now. You're fucking

That has high fructose corn syrup. You can do that Oh my god, I love it. All right. We got to get into some questions here I mean you gave us everything and I thought that was a lot of information It's gonna be hard to dig your way out of that hole But and I'm honestly it like gives me like a warm feeling that like my impression of like how I thought you grew up That you grew up like that Like I just I just like I said like Using the mic judge references like the biggest thing that I can get it close to that's the vibe I got because you know

What else too when I when I thought of my thing coming on, you know what Dan? Where's the fucking hell out of I've ever seen Dan Soder in a t-shirt and an open flannel Oh Buddy you wear that like fucking Han Solo and I was like this this guy's fucking garbage. That's blue That's blue blue color. Oh, sorry. Go where you guys say blue. I was gonna say that's blue collar prom right there I'm not gonna lie. I think you're pushing me back to button downs open button downs Dude by some fucking flannels and jay was rocking some flannels before the teen and I think I might have to start doing All right

Let me let me tell you something buddy if they were casting office space now we'd be standing around like Ron Livingston who? That's Dan Soder's right there You wear a nice t-shirt and an open fucking button down. I'll tell you that I believe get your ass kicked for saying something like that I uh, I would love to what I think I'm gonna bring back after the teen is uh Thermal long sleeve under t-shirts. Oh, dude. That's what I was just thinking about that. That's one of my questions Yeah, all right. Let's get into it. All right. Yeah, let's give this some questions here Uh, let's start I'm gonna start with a cup just a couple of the basics because we have a lot of specific questions That we wrote for you. Just take me into your mom's house

Uh, it was a single family home or was it an apartment? No, my mom bought a house my mom My mom's a get shit done kind of person. I think that's the reason why I have such a good work ethic is because my mom was like Sometimes would put her work before you know, like I was yeah for her son Yeah, sometimes I was just kind of like a thing that she had to take care of Yeah, you know, you you know, you were talking about from three to six How about in the summers from fucking eight to fucking six Fucking lawless time would stand still in the middle of some of those days lawless. My mom didn't let me stay home Uh, I had to go to after school program until I was 11

So I wasn't allowed to be at home and then not just vending. Yeah It was so much fun. But I also uh, I was lucky enough that I was in like football So I would go to like community some sort of structure. Yeah. Yeah, there'd be stuff where I could be like or I'd stay at friends houses but um, yeah, my mom got us our first house we bought was a like a three bedroom two baths in Uh, my neighborhood in mission viejo like all along the perimeter, which is now like I think that neighborhood's like starter homes for like a lot of Which makes sense. That's why my mom got it. And then my mom, uh, got into a thing with my aunt about a little bit of money

That was left by my grandparents A thing dude, a thing with an aunt is always a dead giveaway You're lucky number two. Have you ever fought with a family member over money? Yeah, dude. Well, here we go Uh, my mom was like, hey, you didn't give us any of that inherent Inheritance and my aunt was like, fuck you. I think I don't know. I was a kid when it happened But my mom got my aunt to invest in this house Uh, that I lived in from when I was 10 to 18 It was really nice. There's a three bedroom two and a half bath in the clean living right there inner circle

It's pretty nice. Three car garage three car garage. All right, you bring it up. That's great. Get over here That's the biggest one we've had on this show. So I had a two car garage. All right. This is I have a couple of A garage is big a big topic on this show. So could you fit three cars in the garage or was it filled with shit? You know, my stepdad was like a mechanic. My stepdad was like a guy Nick that we moved into the house with that was a big thing for him because he owned a house in like Denver proper And like the Montbello area and he was selling his house Because him and my mom were married. Gotcha. He was like with that with him I think it was with his old house my mom and my and money for my aunt. They bought this house

And my stepdad was like that's some trashy trashy, man Three-way investment on I'm all ended up being the investor. I think she paid him off like it's a family time share right there I feel like and all the aunts and uncles in on a house. Yeah, I feel like a little bit of your communion money was probably thrown in there too There was no communion Some Halloween candy on top of it. She uh, the college fund got siphoned into that she um But yeah, so she bought the house and my stepdad It was like a really big thing that he was like a one of three car garage because he

Would build shit like yeah, so it was a functional garage. Yeah, for sure. He built my mom I this is the coolest shit and I should have spent more time in the garage with my stepdad nick because they were married from when I was like eight to 11 Or eight to 12 they were they were married and he built my mom a 1970 mgb With just the body like started with the body and then got all the pieces Yeah, and then built it and then she sold it like fucking six years later It sounds like he just built it. He was like here. I'm gonna make you a $30,000. Yeah, here's a bunch of money. That's fucking wild

Yeah, she ended up selling it to my friend Joel's dad just by chance Well, the car sounds nice, but a big staple question here on the podcast You say you have a three car garage dan soter inside that garage. Did you have an extra? refrigerator? Yeah, we had two What was in that refrigerator? Dan soter We had we had two refrigerators one was a meat freezer Awesome that my mom would buy meat at costco and then just put it off the freezer and put like, you know Popsicles and shit. It was beautiful. There you go. Brown had an orange light button on the top, right? I remember and then we had a

We brought our own refrigerator from our old house That's always the second fridge is always like some scrap fridge Dude, what's in the second fridge? What's in the second fridge? like Hanson soda and Pepsi Yeah, the water was never hooked up I remember people being like I remember where you smoked so much weed in the fucking garage and people would see that and be like Oh, there's a water thing and then just hold it Dude, that is such a trashy thing. I love it dude. I got this is so funny

This is just bringing up a lot of memories, but I remember Um, we were riding me and the boys were out riding smoking The goose is loose, baby Danny Sarah Goosa smoking things and jumping dirt mounds, baby That's what it was all about. Just a flock of geese coming down the fucking street And I remember my friends did that thing, you know, when they'd be like, let's ditch them and then they like was Fucking bastards ditch. Oh

I remember Nick and Jason took a corner and they're like, let's ditch him Let's go to his house and steal sodas and I was like what and I was behind him. So I was like You know like riding up They went up they went up the garage and ghost rid the bikes under the lawn and then went into my That refrigerator were like taking sodas and putting on the shirt and I remember I was like it was half joke half like serious Fucking cherry coax man. What I ran in I tried to tackle Nick and he I got away and then my friend Jason I like I like turned him around at the refrigerator and he just fucking punched me in the mouth It's just right as I turned him around and he I was bigger than him

And I remember I just grabbed him by the throat and pushed him against the meat refrigerator And I was just like fucking choking him, right? And he's like, uh, uh, and my stepdad Here's all this and comes into the garage and he's like my stepdad was nick was big He's like six six just had a big deep voice and he was like Daniel let him go I was just not worth it. I was just holding Jason by the throat and I let him go and he was like Ah, fuck you and like ran off and then we were just friends the next day at the bus stop. Yeah, that's just yeah Yes, you fucking cleared it up over a Winston. Yeah, I fucking he rocked me and then I choked his ass and then I was like, oh fuck

But yeah, dude, two refrigerators. That might have been That's that we've been looking for that answer on this podcast You just described the garage fridge to suburban America is fucking huge We talk about it every episode and that was the most perfect one Not to mention the fucking the the meat freezer next to it where a guy got punched in the face I took care of him in the meat locker If you've ever choked somebody out on a meat fridge But if you if you live in the burbs and you don't have a soda fridge in your house, what the fuck are you doing?

What are you doing? All right, I'll see Um, okay anyone in your family or extended family on a kegerator Uh friends of family not family. Okay. All right, but I've been you know, I mean I went to college That was the goal. That was the holy grail if you walked into a party and they had a kegerator going Yeah, I uh, I know some friends of mine whose parents had one. Yeah, but I didn't you know It wasn't like no one in my family had it. Yeah, my family was a rum and coke family Laristic rats captain morgan's uh, bacardi. That's what the sodas drank Oh, man

The glass of bacardi with a splash of coke and then my mom liked southern comfort Manhattan's on the rocks Oh A lot of empty soco bins I love her. She's good now. She's fine. She's great. I love you You're watching this growing up that any friends of yours or family members that you know Get seriously injured in a dirt bike or atv accident. Oh Dude, honestly dirt bikes cost too much money ATVs and shit like I think if anyone had that and I didn't know anybody that had ATVs or dirt bikes where I grew up

Okay, did you guys bring them as them in colorado? Yeah, I mean like people That live out like parker and like a place where you can maybe ride more roar. Oh, yeah But not aurora not where I lived people anybody gets seriously injured when you were riding your Riding your your bikes back in the woods like jumping over things. Yeah, people got injured all the time I was the guy that always got injured I'm not athletic. I what's the scariest thing you ever jumped off on your bike when you were a kid My cousin used to For the listener he just sat back

Put his hand behind his head and let a winston baby get into it my cousin luke. Um, he grew up off the highland canal Which is in littleton Like littleton suburbs are nice. It's like okay like where columbine is and stuff This isn't where columbine is but he lived off the highland canal and there was like These dirt jumps by his house awesome Dude remember just stumbling upon dirt jumps in the woods that like the older kids had made or something Some construction site or something like that. That's exactly what this was There was a construction site and these these guys had built a couple tables and a couple jumps and i'm like dude

This is fucking tables. I haven't heard that in so fucking long a table So there I was like, okay, and he's like dude They got these tables and these jumps from the house and he's like tell your mom to bring the mongoose out So we put the mongoose in the back of this in the back of the 91 forerunner because everyone in colorado drives an suv and uh Went out to my cousin's house and I remember we were so excited We got our bikes I put my shit in his room

We hung out and then we rode to this fucking jump and I remember seeing this jump and I was like dude, this is awesome so you like go you do the jump and then You're supposed to like go to the right I like did the jump and then I went left and I didn't realize that that was like the lip of another jump So I went left and then I just fucking just faced first just went over and I remember just going over Fuck and it was like bam my face hit the dirt and I slid down But then you're you're more embarrassed than you are hurt. Yeah, seriously. Oh, yeah, there's god up. It was like Yes

Fine, whatever. It's cool. And then it's like Luke and his friends I don't know these friends, but I know my cousin so I'm just like I find out your friends think I suck Oh, that's too good Uh, I love it. I knew we'd get to something if it wasn't atvs or dirt bikes I knew there was some fucking dicey situations on the goose. Yeah Go ahead kept uh growing up. Did you guys own a vcr slash dvd hybrid? Fuck you. We just had a vcr player. That was rich kid. Shit. You go over there First dvd player I got was a playstation 2. Yes. Yeah. Yeah, same here

Also, another thing. Did you just have did you ever own just the vhs rewinder? Uh, no, but my friend brian mobly did shout out My buddy had one that looked like a car. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, my buddy had one. I know exactly which one you're talking about But it didn't like the trunk or whatever He kind of rewind you have to dude I remember showing up to my buddy's house and he broke it out like he got it for christmas or something and he That's what brian was like. I got it and I thought I was at mgm studios. I was like, what the where are we? brian almost ran me through it because this is how we lived in our old house and he like ran me through it like uh

I got hired somewhere. He's like This is uh, the taper winder. We rewind the tapes and we go to blockbuster with mom and she buys this candy and new tapes And sometimes like I worked somewhere Something to remember now. I gotta tell all you new guys something to remember Don't put the tape in backwards because you'll ruin the machine also I don't know why they hired you to begin with dan, but guys guys. I'm gonna need you to unplug it when you're done using Burn down this out Soder did you I get the vibe did you ever work at a video store?

Uh, no, but I worked at a pizza place, which is like That's right. Yeah suburban pizza place and I would trade. Yeah, I worked at pudge brothers on eilish and uh buckley and I would trade pizzas for porn At the video store in the parking lot Fucking awesome. I take the guy a pizza. I'd make the pizza and I'd bring him a two-liter And then he would like let me be like, yeah, dude go take like four dvds and I've got how old were you? 16 17 how old was the guy? 30s

Playing a fast and loose dude. Yeah, he was friends with my manager because we used to smoke joints in the back And we all had the same like, you know, the back of the store back was all like all open. Yeah Yeah, it was all us and it was like that's where the delivery driver's parked. So we'd always be smoking joints out there The shitty suburban job man was fucking Time literally stood still it was Took forever. I remember getting off a shift there and being like, god, was that years years? Yeah, you just I feel like I just got off that shift I gotta make this one last run to this house near a utah pool and then I gotta get

All right, what do you got folly? I wanted to ask you, um, I waited tables for a long time as well. I know you waited tables in new york specifically When you waited tables in new york now, this is a garbage move, but it's also an awesome move Did you ever get stiffed on a tip and then chased the people out and be like, yo, what the fuck? Did you ever go after somebody that's stiffed you on a tip? Um We we would have been fired immediately. Exactly. I know that's that's the way you're But I would do the questioning. Gotcha. Ask of aggressive questioning. Yeah Is this was I just want to make sure it was all right?

All right, the one that broke my heart was I waited on Common when he was dating serena williams Okay, and it was like a $260 lunch bill and I think we got like 10% and I was like Did he pay like he actually paid because you know those celebrities fuck you over is some lackey put some lackey pays inscrusion No, no, no, everyone else that paid celebrity wise toriamos daemon wanes There was a bunch of celebrities I waited on that were like fine. I just think it might have been because it was a party I don't know what's going on. They only I think they only had tacos and margaritas Whatever, it was a bummer. It was a fucking bummer, but there there was one table

I remember specifically these we get a lot of europeans. I waited tables right Right as the oh wait and right as the oh eight crash happened So I was waiting tables from 2007 to 2011 And so the crash was right there and Americans stopped going out to eat But europeans were like their money was yeah twice what ours was I had these like romanian women. I think here eastern europe and it was a late

Dinner and it was like a fucking $90 bill and I was just like, I know you're not gonna give me eight You're not gonna give me 18 bucks. You're not gonna give me 40 bucks So I just kept being like do you not speak english because I was like And then I started saying shit under my breath because I'd get frustrated Would they be like can you bring that? I'm like, here's a check. It's not like you're gonna tip me All right, you guys have a good one I just talk fast if I knew someone couldn't speak english because I just want to talk shit to him They're gonna be like you're gonna fucking take care of me or whatever and I went back and they left me a 40 tip

That was like I felt garbage for that. Yeah, that's that shitty I had conan conan left me a dollar once on what how much? Uh, it was probably like 40 or 50 bucks Yeah, the big guy iced me this is this was years ago It was one of the first time before I waited tables. It was on the upper east side Yeah, dude, you'd really see a lot of people with a lot of money don't know how to tip if I ever get that show I don't think I'm not bringing it to fuck up The second I'm done. Hey red. Let me talk to you backstage for a minute

All right, I got one. Um, are you good at uh, either of the following tailgate games known as washers or bago Cornhole you would know cornhole. Yeah, I feel like cornhole came out after I was drinking I feel like cornhole came out right as I was quitting drinking in 2012 2013. Okay. It's played professionally now I know Incidentally how I know that is because espn has nothing to show and last night I watched about 20 minutes of a fucking cornhole It was pretty great. Oh my god. I was beer pong. I was big into Beirut beer. Yeah Beirut that was huge when I was in fucking college. We loved it. All right. Do me a favor rank these From least garbage to most garbage the following items ready and there is an order sure potato salad egg salad chicken salad

seafood salad One being the least garbage wait, it's chicken tuna seafood and what else Chicken egg potato seafood no chicken potato egg Yes, chicken potato egg seafood what comes first chicken I would say the least classy is Seafood salad excellent. Okay. And what's the second least classy? Egg salad awesome next chicken salad

Number one it's potato Yeah, potato potato can go either way because if you make it with miracle whip, it's got some snap on it, but um Pretty try it's trashier beautiful right to the follow-up question growing up. Was it helman's or miracle whip? No, I did helman's But as I grew up, he's not an asshole Yeah, yeah as I grew older I learned to like miracle whip But hated it when I was a kid when you were a kid you'd go to somebody's house and saw miracle if you'd be like I'll just take a peanut butter and jelly. Yeah, I'm good

I can eat a spoon of helman It's going wrong with it and it was called best foods on the west coast That was the name of the yeah, it wasn't helman's mayonnaise. It was best foods So so the song wasn't to bring out the helmans and bring out the best It was bring out the best foods and bring out the best wait wait wait What they stole the jingle. No, they were same company. They just different marketing. Yeah, it was just it It's like how carls jr. Is carls jr on the west coast, but it's hardies on gotcha Hope my mind is fucking blown. Yeah, it's all but a lie helmans is an international

Nah, man helmans. I think it is now. I don't think they call it best foods anymore, but growing up. It was definitely best foods Wow, that's fucking and they would do the same song Same jingle dude Bring out that I haven't heard that I haven't heard that jingle in fucking 20 years It was a blast from the past that's it. There's all this mayonnaise hate going around you guys could fucking suck my kid Well, that was that was perfect I mean the heart of that question is really just to find out where your thoughts are on seafood salad now It's garbage. It's I love it. I love it. Do you like imitation?

Do you eat imitation crab me? Yes, yes, I will come on Like where you'll go you'll go buy like a package of it and just like eat it My girlfriend is horrified yesterday because I said I loved shrimp cup of noodles Oh my god A little piece of shrimp in there, man No, my stepdad installed a hot water nozzle in our house. So you know the insta hot Insta hot so I loved cup of noodles and I would just pour that insta hot let it sit and just have a fucking cup

Dude insta hot in the house is fucking that's great That ain't too shabby right to one of your friends doesn't know is drunken burns his hand. Yeah. Yeah. I'll sneak up on you Oh my god, we just got a few more questions here This is awesome. You're doing great kippy. Go ahead. Yeah. Have you ever been to a wedding at a vfw? No, no, but vfw's aren't really uh west coast like a colorado thing Is that an east coast thing? Yeah till east coast Have you ever been to a wedding where all the patriots live, baby? Yeah, we do like cheap golf courses Hmm or apartment

Um apartment club houses. Yeah, like the kind of the commonplace. Yeah, that's bad too I've been to one of those hanging up like balloons in the corner. Oh We had my aunt's 40th birthday party at the townhouse or at town line's town clubhouse Yeah, we do the christmas party every year at my mom's uh fucking townhouse Man Hey, Dan good to see you how's everything in new york all those conversations are had and In the clubhouse there's tape from the other party still up on the wall in the corner and shit Still a balloon from a birthday party the week before. Yeah, a couple of different colored napkins from a christening for sure. Yeah

Um, all right Follow you go Do you have anything reversible you wear anything reversible Dude, come on. My favorite fucking thing in the world is my reversible jerry rice jersey growing up It would be fucking red it either be home or the black with the gold numbers. Come on. I had a ton of reversible shit Okay, where do these two items belong an open bottle of ketchup belongs in a the fridge or be the cabinet fridge Excellent an open bottle of syrup Goes in the cabinet or the fridge cabinet

Excellent. All right. Very two classy answers. I like it. I got another one butter Fridge or out my mom kept it out. Yes Oh, you got to go fridge all day long It's a dairy, dude. It's dairy My mom would keep the butter in this thing in the fucking cupboard. I was Buttered and now I'm like Dude, that's literally insane It's garbage, but how great is it to fucking put nice warm butter on there's no struggle

On the roll, come on I would draw the line. I I think you can keep you can't keep it out overnight Maybe if you wake up in the morning, you leave it out. You have it for breakfast lunch dinner But the overnight it sleeps in the fridge. Talk to my mom, dude. She had that. It only stayed outside. It was an outside dog I like it. I fucking love it, man. I'm a huge butter guy. I fucking love that How do you feel about Hawaiian pizza? Yeah, okay. Okay. Yeah. All right. Um, have you ever added a muffler? Or racing stripes to a car? No, man. I I had the 88 hundo accord hatchback and then I

Uh, it broke it broke down and then my mom and I bought I ended up paying her off, but I uh, she split a dodge stratus with me What color is that dodge stratus dan white 50 50 they all I think they only made them in white Things were you to were you fucking utilitary? So my mom, uh, you know like the senior trip How everyone goes on a senior trip like all my friends went to mexico after they graduated It was like a graduation gift. That was like a graduation gift from a lot of the parents were like Oh, you guys can go to cancun on this trip Uh, and my mom was like for graduation. I'm gonna let you go to mexico. I was like, that's fucking awesome

You know, like I'm gonna I'm gonna pay for the trip. I was like, that's fucking great Sweet and then she got the check-in late or something happened to the checkmounds Something happened where she's like you can't go and I was like Fuck What the fuck man, but I had a loan out for this car, you know, like she helped me buy the stratus And so she was really cool about it. She's like, hey, so she can't go on the trip. I'm gonna pay for half of the stratus Ah, I think too shabby long run. That's better for sure way better way I ended up selling that car to move to new york in 2007. So it was way better. What did you uh, what did the stratus run back then?

Uh, 3500 Not bad not bad too shabby. Did you put a head unit in that bad boy? I had I yeah, I put I put a I put a cd player in Yeah, you did Yeah, you did all of that shit The car wreaked like cigarettes when I sold it. Oh, yeah Looking back on the cd. How much of a fucking pain in the ass for they man, you maybe got books Oh those big books

I got robbed in Tucson in 2004 and they took a 200 fucking cd booklet out of my car I was very upset about that. Did you ever know anybody? I thought this was real garbage But everybody got it eventually anybody who had the cd changer in the trunk where they had like the 45 loader Yep, I had two friends that had to pull over and shit to change the cds. You're like, what the fuck? I just want to listen to some m&m dude. Let's keep it moving. Yeah, they'd pull it out like it was a fucking server I got the files fucking safety deposit box in the fucking trunk man fucking crazy. All right. I think I only got one more here um Oh, this was a big one in the 90s. I feel would you uh, would your parents ask for a receipt at the toll booth?

Uh, my mom asked for receipts on everything Yeah, my dad would be like pay the pay a 35 cent toll and ask for a receipt. What the fuck are we doing? My mom's all about receipts So crazy to me loves the receipts I love it. All right, my final question kippy. You got one more. Uh, no, you're good, buddy Uh, is a two-part question number one I believe this is a kippy from uh, this is kevins from an earlier episode. Have you ever purchased anything with marble miles? No, but uh, what did you do with the camels?

Camel dollars. I had a lot of and then I lost them. I lost them when I moved from Aurora to Tucson because I had been smoking for a while and I was like, I'll get some cool camel light shit and then I lost them in the move. I was very upset about that very very upset about that because I had a lot of camel dollars That makes you garbage. My dad had a shit ton of marble miles. Yeah, I had so many Sitting back is great. He's in therapy right now. I fucking love it Dude, if you had the marbero sleeping bag at a sleepover in junior high, you were the fucking shit I know we had the cooler Oh, yeah

Wrangler jeep and the thermos. Oh the thermos was big too. Yeah, the marble thermos was definitely They had that suede jacket that was going around a lot. Come on the pool dude Did you have that was one of those that was another question Did you ever grow up with a foosball table a ping pong table or a pool table pool table that we bought at the mile High flea market Was it full size or one of the smaller ones full size old school fucking concrete Three pieces of concrete my step down and my mom bought it at the flea market But our basement was start that you couldn't take shots

You're like the maestro in there. Yeah the place to be But it was fun. It was fun as fuck. My mom and I got good at pool for a while My final question on the tip of the uh, the marbero miles is did you have a Subscription to sports illustrated when you were a kid, of course, of course Sports illustrated for kids when I started and then sport side kids. Yeah, I just told I might answer your question right here. I just told my girlfriend about this story We were watching she and I were watching the last dance. Mm-hmm. I was like, listen I'm uh, I'm kind of a hoarder like I keep shit. I hold on to things

From what do you got from the time I was Fuck like eight years old on I got sports illustrated So when I got sports illustrated for now is eight, I would save the big covers I would be like, oh, this is important I'ma put it in my closet and then I had a box and then I had this fucking massive box Of all old sports illustrators and when my mom moved to her townhouse. She was like, yeah, I got rid of them I didn't think you wanted them. I'm like I had

Fucking jordan retiring the first time. I had fucking Montana getting traded to the chiefs I had all these like crazy fucking big moments in sports and my mom was like, yeah, I gave him away. I was like What the fuck? Oh, I would have lost it. That's devastating when that sports illustrated would come man Me and my brother it was like the fuck I remember like specific cover headlines like the incredible bust And like this dude, it was fucking unbelievable because there was no internet. No nothing like that I would we we would literally look at the pictures and read them like a hundred times But my final question to you, mr. Dan Soder. Yeah, did you ever have

The sports illustrated windbreaker or football phone? Didn't gotten either but loved the football joke in wanes world too Love the joke in wanes world too about the sports illustrated football. No, I'll pull it. I forgot it Yeah, uh, when he goes and visits the naked indian man with jim morrison and he's like your phone got misdelivered. It'll be there Yeah, dude, I um Did you never get did you never get either one of those? I don't know. We always just had a sports illustrated subscription But I remember I broke my shoulder when I was 14 playing freshman football because I sucked

I uh I remember I had to go to the hospital and they gave me morphine and I remember I was back home And this I specifically remember what sports illustrated was it was Peyton Manning senior year at Tennessee And it was a cartoon drawing of Peyton Manning wrestling a cartoon uh florida gator Yeah, I remember that and I Was so fucked up on morphine and then percassettes Uh, that I would like I read the whole sports illustrator. I was like, I knew sports illustrator was fucking great I love sports illustrator and then I remember like the next day accusing my mom's boyfriend of stealing the sports

I was like I was like, there's no sports illustrated and he was like, yeah, I gave you the sports illustrator I was like you're lying to me and I was like and now I'm like, give you guys a morphine Yeah, you're fucking tripping balls. Yeah, dude. I was out of it. That's great Wait, so there was no sports illustrated. There was I uh, I lost it in between my bed and the wall Accusing the stepdad is stealing it. That's awesome while you're yacked up on morphine I'm like, you fucking want me to look Yeah

Oh my god, that is too funny dance odor, man. Thank you for sitting down with us Thank you for playing. Are you garbage? I gotta say 100% garbage, but the margio I fucking love it, man. Yeah, I don't know I think I grew up. I grew up, uh, you know I think grew up okay Absolutely, of course, of course, of course I think you should eat shitty and have shitty things happen to you when you're young so you can appreciate the good things when you're older I'm always under the impression even though I hate it doing it

And it's my biggest fear to go back to it But don't you feel like everybody should have to wake tables for at least Two months very humbling the world would be a completely different place It's a very humbling experience for someone to complain that you haven't brought them their iced tea. Yeah. Yeah Very humbling for them to be like you're a servant bringing my shit. Yeah Yeah, I got it I want to fight you. I want to fight you, but I also want to keep my lights on so Yeah, we're looking at now, baby. It's all behind you kid. You're doing absolutely fantastic now stand up doesn't exist anymore, but we're

Forgetting back. They just did shows and uh wise guys. I saw Christ this weekend. We'll see. Let's uh, let's stay safe out there, but thanks for having me on guys Thanks, buddy. Is there anything you want everybody out there to know anything? Listen listen to the bonfire conversation radio Monday through thursday 6 a p.m. Check out billions where we got new episodes coming out And every sunday at nine on showtime and please stream my hbo special son of a gary Beautiful. Thank you so much. What are you the best? We appreciate you appreciate you coming on. Thank you, man Thanks, guys. See you buddy. Fucking outside fridges for life. Yeah garage fridge garage fridge guys Thank you so much. We'll be back next week with a brand new episode of are you garbage kippy got anything for him?

Yeah, please make sure uh, you rate review subscribe on itunes the full video is available on youtube Please subscribe there. Uh, if you want to submit any of your own questions for are you garbage? A lot of you are commenting on youtube and stuff like that you can but we'll get lost So please send them to are you garbage at gmail.com Also, I am at kevin ryan on all social media And I am at h foley on ice on twitter and at foley grams on instagram And make sure you subscribe to are you garbage on twitter and subscribe to are you garbage on instagram as we said? Great episode, man. I I had that vibe that he was that you know, that's kind of where he came from in the

Yeah, for sure that I've picked up. I fucking loved it. It was great. It was a good episode. Great job kippy Thank you so much and we'll see you guys very soon. Thanks guys. See you