Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Driving in Reverse w/ Sal Vulcano!

Episode Date: June 3, 2024

Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast presents stand up comedian, podcast host and Impractical Joker Sal Vulcano! You know Sal from Impractical Jokers, Stand up comedy, Hey Babe Podcast w/ Chris Distefano, Taste Buds Podcast, the Joe Rogan Experience, This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von and so much more! Check out his new special "Terrified" OUT NOW! Thanks for watching Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast. Come to a live show! Through the Roof Tour: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/hfoleycomedy/ Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sign up for ButcherBox today by going to Butcherbox.com/ayg and use code AYG at checkout and enjoy your choice of bone-in chicken thighs, top sirloins, or salmon in every box for an entire year, plus get $20 off! Blue Chew: https://bluechew.com/ Promo Code: Garbage This Show is sponsored by BetterHelp Better Help: https://www.BetterHelp.com/GARBAGE Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Josh's question, are you garb's if you hold your family gatherings at the local funeral home because your cousin works there? What was the last family gathering you had there? Jesus And the circle of life continues There's a family crying in the corner My condolences. That's f***ing insane. Yeah.

Why not hit like a bundle of wild wings or something? Well congratulations on the baby. And sorry for your loss. Get your tickets now at RUgarbage.com. We want to see you out there. Welcome to another exciting edition of R U Garbage, the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H Foley.

Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is R U Garbage. Oh, yeah It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that it's a good to be classy Yeah, they're just a big old piece of trash trash trash trash I'm your host stage Foley coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tooties in the new edition She has been cooking all morning. Okay in honor of our special guest here with us today She's got some nice manicotti going She had some meatballs going the sauce has been going she also made some jello shots

What's not really sure how that's gonna pair a little pregame my co-host is coming at you from right next to me He is the CEO of are you garbage? She is an international business man and my best pal in the whole wide world give it up for KJ Kevin James Ryan everybody what up gang? Thanks for tuning in as As always, please make sure you're ready to subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. As you know, those numbers are Truderipf, Cookin', and obviously the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com slash are you garbage.

You go over there, you get up to three bajillion hours worth of bonus content. Shout out to the homies. And how about a nice shout out to our producer extraordinaire, the Magic Man, makes us all look good, works the ones, the twos, the threes, and the four content. Shout out to the homies. And how about a nice shout out to our producer extraordinaire, the Magic Man. Makes us all look good. Works the ones, the twos, the threes, and the fours. Ladies, he does it all. Give it up for T-Bone McScruffins.

Toby McMullen, everybody. Hey, pal. What up, boys? Excited? I'm so excited. I love this guy. Always. Always.

Hilarious guy. Nicest guy. Makes you feel welcome wherever you're at. You feel like you're going to walk up, he's going to be like, make yourself at home, the ZD in the back. I got you cookies. This guy makes you feel welcome wherever you're at. You feel like you're gonna walk up. He's gonna be like make yourself at home. The ZD in the back. I got his cookies. A warm plate waiting for you.

A little tin foil on top. Gang, the long hair ain't lying because we could be more excited. I've are incredibly and I mean incredibly special guests back with us again today. He's family at this point and he's got a brand new special out right now on the 800 pound gorilla YouTube page entitled Terrified.

And he just released tour dates. The kids on tour, get all your tickets at salvacanocomedy.com. Give it up for the one and the only, Salvo Cano, everybody. There he is. There he is. What's going on?

Mamma Mia, there he is. Or, and I didn't want to say this, but I'm supposed to go by, at least in these walls, the big ZDs. That's right. The big ZDs. I didn't want to give it away. I want to see if you did it. Oh man. We had a blood oath. We had a blood oath that from that day forward. Big ZD. Big ZD coming to town. Look out. Money on the street. Let's go. And I know your listeners

latched onto that last time and they were like that's the best. So I, you know, it resonated with me. It stuck up here. I'm so upset. We forgot about big ziti It's great to see you guys I never last I say it at the top every time I'm not trying to but I never laugh more than I do on this part We laugh from the beginning to the end every single time. It's just amazing what you guys do I did a podcast a couple days ago. I'm not joking. I cried. So this is well, we reformatted the show.

I don't know if you've been watching the past couple of years. How does that make you feel? Congrats on the special baby. Yeah, thank you so much. Unbelievable man. And then launching a tour right after that. Yeah, damn dude. It's a work dates coming up Yeah, man, well these I'm running myself into the goddamn ground I feel like you've been doing that for 15 years as you could see from my crow's feet And I have a little bit of a cold so I apologize for the occasional cough

But you know it is what it is we got to do what we got to do and you look good You got a little color you look like I'm? Come on. Are you kidding me? Yeah, it's killing us anybody who knows you you guys are the hardest working duo and show business 20 years old Are you taking any time off this summer to any vacate hit the shore or anything like that Going to Rockaway Beach or something. Yeah, what do you like to do on I let up my schedule lets up Mid-august so okay at the buzzer there. I'm gonna probably do a little something I might go up to the Great Gorge, Verna Valley, New Jersey Delaware water gap is underrated very nice More than a gap right isn't it like a whole thing It's a whole thing yeah, you know the Delaware water whole thing to city boys

It's a whole thing the guy we were flying somewhere not that long ago, and I can't lean on him like I think that's the Grand Canyon He's like that's not the grand Canyon. We were like we think we were above North Dakota That's the Grand Canyon. Like, it ain't. It's something. Yeah, because actually any canyon besides the Grand Canyon, if you haven't seen the Grand Canyon, looks like the Grand Canyon.

Like, is that the Grand Canyon? Because I've never really, I have to be honest with you, I don't think I've ever even seen a canyon. Sure. I've seen it on television and in media. Yeah. And in my dreams. Yeah.

But my own eyes. You've got a new imagination My own eyes. I've never I've never seen a canyon. Yeah, I want to see the Grand Canyon It looks for it looks pretty cool I tell you fly you know when you get to a certain point you're flying out west man that shit looks like a like Mars Landscape he's also on 18 mark bloody Mary He doesn't even know the windows down he has no idea damn monkey hanging up the way What percentage of people you think have been to the canyon?

Thank you, I only do the grand you think it's like a 50-50 No, I think a lot of people that's it. That's a summer 50-50 yeah sitting here with four guys ain't never been I was starting a dialogue We're sitting here with four guys ain't never been there. I was starting a dialogue. Trying to have a conversation. What are you, what are you, nutsell? Get out of here! It's gotta be 8%.

Oh wow. You never did that when you were a kid, right? So.8 out of 10 people. No, I never seen a canyon. That's right, never seen a canyon. Stay with us here, stay with us. Man. I just got here, I just got here.

Big Jeety came in. I need a Lipitor. Changing the game. I can sell a VA. Take a Ginkgo below. We would never drive that far. But I knew a lot of kids growing up that that was their summer trip. They drove out to the Grand Canyon. I never. My parents took me on a plane.

And I just the first time I was on a plane was 18. But but I you know what it is every time I'm out close enough. Vegas, let's go every time. Because I've been to Vegas twenty five times. And it's four hours. You never got right. And I'm like, you know what? I'm on a heater here I'm like I could see it in

4k on a I go to that ball Do you ever plan like oh we're in Vegas for three days? I think on Tuesday I'm gonna get out and you never do or you just go and I don't even start out anywhere. Yeah I'm saying like do you ever go is it do you ever plan to see it and never it had never happened No, you're like well. I got a free day. Maybe we'll do it ever anything like like oh, you know like hard plans just like Always it's that we're there like eight hours around it's like

Because you would be Debbie Reynolds at the Bellagio? Wayne Newton's doing Nuts What do you cuz you know what you're gonna drive there The heat my god, I'm with you and then you get out you you look at it you look at it And what do you really do? I think you need to spend time that you got to like go down in it take it down I'm not going down and now that's getting in yeah That's how they have to come and get you with the helicopter. Yeah, and I'm laying in that basket fucking spinning

James Franco losing a little yeah, I'm not doing that I go peek over the side and get the hell out of there How much can you peek over the side? I equate it like I let me ask you guys a question laying on the ground when you get a peek over the side. I equate it like, let me ask you guys a question. Just laying on the ground. When you get a greeting card, sure. Christmas card, birthday card. I mean, there's some that I keep. I have a box made from parents or like, you know, but like in a general sense, you get it in the mail, you open it's like a happy Easter. I don't know. Right. Happy Easter.

How long is that up? Pinned to something or standing there or is it open? Looked at trash. Great question. My the lady. Anything remotely. Emotionally tied to is on my refrigerator right now. There's Christmas cards from her family from a couple of years ago. There's wedding announcements from her friends a couple of years ago.

They're tough to get rid of. OK, my usual move is look at it, rip it up and throw it away unless it's from my mother. If there's not a C note in there, what are we doing? Money. I do the scratch off. So I throw it. All right. That's fascinating to me. So I just feel like, OK, so my mom and dad, I probably keep to my mom, dad, grandparents. Yeah, I probably put those away, you know.

But but in a general sense, I've never opened one, read it and threw it away. I just felt like I have to honor 24 hours at least. Sure. I mean, on the counter, prop it up. I mean, I usually do like a week. And that's a long the other day. My lady opened a cart from my aunt. I hope she's not watching. And it was no money.

You know, the floor is a beautiful car. She opened it. She read it. And then I like walked around and I came back inside like, I mean, 10 minutes later, throw something in the garbage and I open it. It read it. And then I like walked around and I came back inside like, I mean, 10 minutes later, throw something in the garbage. And I opened it. It was there. And I was like, I respect that. I was like, you just opened it. And she's like, right. And I said, I read it. It's in the garbage.

You don't honor it. She's like, honor it. She's like, I read it. I absorbed the sentiment. And that part is done now. Yeah. I'm with that. Now, if there's a handwritten, my dad was always big and I got into this at an early age. I never liked getting the card with the thing already written in it. I get a blank one and I write something in it.

When I get one of those that has like a- You never loved me. You piece of shit. No matter what the context, you're keeping it. Love Henry. It said happy anniversary. You get a blank one, it's either a very good or a very bad sign. Sure, sure.

Now say you are buying me a card. It's my birthday, you're buying me a card. August 14th, no big deal. I don't expect something. Alright. I love it. You shouldn't be getting cards. What do you mean? At the year age. Listen, no, I don't want...

What was that card for? That was just a family thing. Hey, was he's the reason? Yes, it was that okay I'm anti card to begin with yeah, but when you are filling out a card say you're getting me a you get me a nice sweater Or something for my birthday I'm an extra-large. Do you write and it's got a little pre written message in there Do you well, how do you then fill that out? Do you absolutely I got you to go Kevin comma and then the message is the pre-written, and then like, love Sally boy?

I don't lean on just the pre-written message. You put something else in there. I'm always going to write something personal in there. Okay. And I try not to make it stand either. Like, I try not to be like, hey, you know, like, thanks for everything you do for me, mom. Love you. You know, I try to like, change it because she saves them, you know. Sure. And I try to like articulate my feelings in words and a new way every single time. But if I'm giving you a card, I want to I want to write something in there that just

if I'm going that step to buy the car, sure, then I'm going to maximize the potential of the car. I respect you're a good you're a nice man. No one's ever not said that about you. I mean, green and greeting cards, by the way, now. Well, I don ever not said that about you. I mean, greeting cards by the way now, I don't know, big greeting card, I don't know where they get the balls. Yeah.

Oh, what, for $8? You're talking 6.99 for a basic car. Sure, they got the ones now where you open up and like butterflies fly out. Remember the ones where, I used to love the ones where you pull something and like Santa's dick pops out or something like that. Where are you shopping? Spencer's gifts?

Yeah, but then I'm paying a premium. Santa's dick's popping out, I'll pay the $6.99 No, but that's why blanks are good because Blanks are the best Because you keep a box and then you're never not prepared The best, the best I do that every year at Christmas. I buy like a box of like blank inside but Christmas cards That way when That way, if when I'm breaking off the kids, everybody gets that boom boom pow. Yeah. If it's been an OK year. Right.

Depends what the taxes are like. But that's what I'm saying. Like, so throwing that card away is like it's basically the Grand Canyon. You drive up, you get out. You look at it's like Clark W. Griswold. And they just they were like, all kids back in the back in the car I just can't justify it. Yeah, I don't have any real motive to go growing up Well, I could give you a motive to go kippy the route 66 tour which tickets are on sale Right now I go check that out T-bone. Yeah, we're gonna have to get eyes on a green cat

Is it run through the canyon 66 it passes by we're doing it. We're doing a show down doing a show there in the river for the rattlesnakes. Tickets available. I wouldn't. I thought there'd be more foot traffic. We're out there barking. Five dollar comedy show gang. Bunch of skinwalkers. The people in the donkeys will be down here in about an hour. Growing up, did you, did your parents receive a lot of Christmas cards from extended family and friends that had the Joey's doing this? Tommy's doing that. Yes, TV just got

Enrolled in something we got the photos you got the photo. I got big and where would they go? They would go up on the fridge on the fridge on the fridge We put them they put them down where we are. They put them on the door the front door Yeah, we have the my mom would decorate the front door with all that shit. On an entryway, we put them around, like all around. I actually stand completely corrected. We had stuff on the fridge, but I forgot this.

Oh my God, I haven't thought about this in 40 years. I'm not even joking. My mom saved all of her Christmas cards every year. And oh my God, and every single year, she took out that box and a free wall and the house was taped with Christmas cards from over the years free decorations. Yeah, I can't even believe I forgot that we used to do that and we would look at like, you know, look at this jerk off.

This one's in lacrosse camp and the Foley's never did that. Now we never we never had a picture card that went out. Now, sometimes my lady my mom worked with or somebody they would I was a young teen, and there'd be some good looking eye candy coming from another family and I ain't never met before. I'm like, who the hell is the blonde on the fridge? Sorry, what is Klobis?

Klobis the blonde? Yeah. The Johnson's photo keeps going missing. What did Jeannie accomplish in 2005? Yeah, man, that was like, you're like, and then you had to ask kind of subtly, you're like grabbing the, who to like kind of subtly you're like grabbing them Are they local?

For your family, Kimmy would have been like kippy got caught smoking again Kevin still likes the chicken fingers he keeps stealing my winsters kippy is currently on punishment is currently on punishment. So just a quote for me. I want you all to know he didn't do it. I got an Italian question for you. This might be a deep cut, but I heard old school Italians, your mom, your grandmother. Were there ever any pictures of anybody in your freezer

that either they were putting a hex on or wanted something good for? You know what I'm talking about yeah um my dad's side is the Italian side this is real high school shit by the way I never I never saw anything in the freezer like a picture but I and gun one time I saw other things no but I did see like you know like a I don't know how how they do the fucking horns or whatever. The hell was that? I don't know, like a really like a disgraced. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like you.

So what would be in there? Oh, you saw them do that. Like, yeah, yeah. Throwing a hex on. No, they'd only throw the hex in the freezer. So no one would see a Guido X. Yeah. Yeah. I remember somebody tell me about that one time, my grandmother.

Like there was relatives that I guess she was feuding with. She put their picture in the freezer and it ices the matter. Oh, that's amazing. Put his pussy on ice. We did one big dirt bag thing that I just remember that we would do if anybody in my family was trying to sell a house and couldn't sell that, couldn't sell the house. You buried, did you ever hear this this you take a statue of like very the realtor it's three bedrooms just up to

the head it's got a new room on a sprain of windows no is it get buried you'd get like a one-foot statue of you know, St Andrew or somebody and you bury him on like the back left corner of the property upside down Can you look into that? I mean the more you spoke Bury the saint to sell a property my mom would go oh go get st. Michael bury him in a bag It wasn't st. Michael. It was like st. Louis It wasn't st. Michael. It was like st. Louis Why didn't no one question the detail of upside down in the back left I mean somewhere religion and just nonsense

I get okay pray to this saint, but then the detail of yeah upside down in the back You got to put sunglasses on him and turn them backwards Yeah, hit me all right the tradition of burying a st. Joseph statue to sell a home is a fascinating blend of folklore and real estate strategy written by Denise It is it is rooted in the belief that Saint Joseph, the home and family patron saint, can help sell properties faster. I'm not an expert, but I think if you can get a statue with ace hardware, that's probably not good. He's not that holy.

You gotta take him down to the church to get fucking hit him up one time. Saint Joseph is who it was, huh? Yeah, but there's a whole like- He was killing the real estate game back then. He gets 2% cash. There's a whole like cottage industry of these little statues to sell your house.

Like five, six bucks on Amazon today. That's big man. That's alright. I mean it is. It's hardware. Yeah. Wow. Okay, let's talk about butcher box. Butcher box. You know them. You love them. We're talking about top quality meat delivered right to your door. Free range, wild caught. Yep. Grass fed, grass finished. Good, good stuff. Crate free pork.

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you need to talk to somebody. Get over to BetterHelp because they can help. Talk therapy is proven to help people get through things that have got going on in their lives. Yeah, even if you're not down bed and you're doing pretty well keep it moving, talk to somebody. Get in front of it before it becomes an issue.

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So here it is, baby. Take a moment. Visit betterhelp.com slash garbage a day to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp.help.com slash garbage. Visit betterhelp.com slash garbage today to get 10% off your first month Do it mm-hmm they were they were all that stuff though They had over every threshold in the house was a crossword or a cruiser really sure yeah My my grandma my they did the rosary every day my dad says the rosary every day still Yeah, yeah They had they would go to like the shrines every once in a while to pray and stuff like that.

And they did, you know, they was like, they weren't all that like super like that like religious stuff. We were big on the palm. We got Palm Sunday every year. That went over the doorway. We would put it behind the palm. Yeah, man, that stuff gets in your head. I still have, I have palm over my door now that we got one Palm Sunday five years ago and I feel like if I don't have that in there really demons will be rolling in after me. Yeah, that's saving you. I forget the origin of the palms. Palm Sunday either. Yeah, I can't remember. Was it when Jesus and the apostles took a vacation and they went down? They went

down the secrets for a couple of weeks. She would pray to stuff. My grandmother used to tell me when I lost something to pray to St. Anthony. St. Anthony, something is lost. It must be found. I'll tell you what. Please come around something that's lost. Yeah, please St. Anthony. That works like a charm. I'm telling you. The first time my mom told me to do it, I was looking for something. And it was like the whole... we couldn't find and she's like just say it so I said it And I remember my hand just going up it was in like to going up to this closet

And she was like I told you dude Everyone think you go over your body like it was it like it was a miracle you were like I must kill the Queen I was just looking for my packet heaters Forgot where I hit him I swear to you the very first time my grandmother told me to do it I was looking for my, I had a bunch of change that I couldn't find. Like as a kid you know. There's a lot of quarters in there Bob. It was like you know a few bucks in change and everything and I couldn't find it anywhere. She told me to say it, I said it and I literally found the change nearly immediately which I couldn't find it for a while before that. So I had

the same experience. I don't know if I've ever used it again. So it might be a 100 percent effective. I mean, you're bad in a thousand. Yeah, really. It works. I always do it. And it really comes through. You lose everything. You always have like other people's air pods. Like there's only you're always like meeting an Uber driver or something. And I don't know what the origin of it is.

A buddy of ours, Dave Gallo, who used to work at New York Comedy Club. And when I got my car, I got a car a few years ago before the pandemic, and my first night, he was bartending at New York Comedy Club, and I pulled up with the car, and he put change under the mats for good luck for a new car. What's that mean?

That's my whole life, I mean, everyone knows. Yeah? You throw change or like a buck, and you put it under the mat or whatever. Huh. On the, on the. I never heard of that. I mean, everyone has done that

from where I'm from forever. As good luck. I actually asked someone recently, who got a new, my barber got a new car. And I said, I said, should I, he was showing me it was outside the shop and he was like, I was like, should I be throwing change in here now?

He's like, what? The hell? I'm on a toll booth. Do people do that still? And he's like, I don't know. I don't know. I've never heard of that. I figure a barber though, cause I know what's big. And I used to always sit there and stare at them

is when a restaurant opens and they put the dollars up. Yeah. The good luck dollars. Yeah. Yeah. Go down to Joey Rose's on Rivington. They had the whole. He's got them up there.

They got them all taped up there. That's old school, man. That's pizzeria. That's old school pizzeria. You got to be a good pizzeria in New York You got to have that couple of bucks on a wall a picture of Travolta eating a slice You got oh, yeah, like that was easy that every pizza place in New York. That's the same picture The change thing appears to be completely regional real and no one seems to have a very good explanation for it

Huh, New York, New Jersey. No kidding. These are dumb dumb Seems to have a very good explanation for it. New York and New Jersey. No kidding. These are dumb dumb people. I remember one time I did it, and I did it when my buddy gave it to me. But then I went to get the car cleaned at some point, and I was like, hey, get that shit out of there.

I was worried for like a month I was gonna get wrecked. You ever hang horns from the rear view? Horns from the rear view? The Italian horn? No. I always thought that was a pepper. The little red thing? Yeah, I think it's a horn.

This guy likes spice. This guy likes his spicy sauces. I've thrown up horns when Metallica was on. Sure, sure, I thought that was a pepper the little red thing. Yeah, I think it's a it's a horn. I like I've thrown up horns when Metallica was on sure sure sure I'm sure you had your rear-view mirror as a young man You probably had your graduation tassel you had some shit Yeah, that's yeah, I did have that I don't really hang much I didn't like I didn't like anything to be like in motion right here while I was driving gotcha No, who look cool a girl. No, my buddy Q has a hula girl on that's really fun now but the Tassel that was always something a hot chick did in her car Some girl some smoke show driving like Mitsubishi Eclipse. You have that hanging in there. Yeah, you just described my sister by the way

The Mitsubishi Eclipse was pitch have that hanging in there. You just described my sister, by the way. The Mitsubishi Eclipse was pitch perfect. It was spot on. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Man, that's a lot of hot girls that drove. What's that? I don't even know. I can't remember what who made it but it was the it was called a

was the type of car. I don't know who the manufacturer was. You got that Volkswagen Shirako. Volkswagen Shirako. How do you spell that? SC I'll tell you right now, I spelled it incorrectly. Okay. It's SCIROCCO. SCIROCCO. It was a hatchback, right? I know. I've never heard of that in my entire life.

Oh, it was a hot chick car. Then the, the, the, the Cabriolet convertible. Cabriolet, too. That was a big one when I was in it. Yeah, that was nice. Yeah. Well, every dirtbag went in, I guess, is the early 2000s would get a car they would put they would get either a small Chuck Taylor like a baby's Chuck Taylor or Jordan. And then that would be dangling. It was like they have like a

little mini Jordan or Chuck Taylor. I always thought that was a thing of a kid. That's weird to have baby shoes hanging in. They had to go to baby footlock there. Fuck. God damn corny. Not just a cream. They had to go to baby foot lockers. Yeah, and I think they would buy, like, there was some, they would split a pair, you know what I mean? Each day one, just have one hanging. Which we took, my niece and nephew were up this weekend and we took them sneakers shopping.

I tell you what, man, they had a wide selection of baby sneakers. Man, there ain't nothing cuter than a lot of blue pair sneakers. I know. And they charged full price for those sneakers. Oh, there ain't nothing cuter than a lot of little pair of sneakers. I know. And they charge full price for those things. Oh yeah. It's crazy. 80 bucks for a kids pair of shoes. Yeah, it's crazy. Imagine going into the Babyfoot Lockers, you're going to buy a pair and they're like expecting,

and they're like, you have to get laid. Just got a new car. It's a Chiaco. And how old is your little bundle of joy? And she's about 25. She works as a secretary. I'm trying to close. Scumbag. All right, we got Sal here, guys. Yeah, let's get into it. Brand new special, terrified, 800lb gorilla YouTube page, and tour dates, do yourself a favor, check out the special and go see Sal on tour. One of the best in the business. One of the best. One of my favorite guys in the world. I mean, 100%. I gotta say. a percent. Thanks 80. Come on. You mean big Z the big Z. You make a lady feel well Wait till you see my car

Okay, guys, as you know when you're doing a patreon we answer your garbage question on here That's the best way to do it the patreon gets the first crack at it You're a New York guy Summertime it says $10 home fries. Never had one ready. Is it garbage if your neighborhood ice cream truck is a minivan? Ooh.

That's, I don't know if I'm buying ice cream from a minivan. And you grew up, your ice cream was soft serve, right? It wasn't prepackaged stuff in a freezer. We had both. You had both? Two different competing fellows. Really? We had the soft serve, and we had good humor,

which was the packaged one. That had to. Two different competing fellows. Really? We had the soft serve and we had good humor which was the, you know, the package. The prop. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That had to get bloody at some point. Yeah, well. It's not like Ice Cream Wars. I will tell you, I will tell you, I preferred good humor. Did you? Yeah. I gotta be in the mood for a soft serve and basically the selection is way, way less. That good humor truck pulls up. It's got that poster on it that looks like a, you know, screwball. You get a firecracker. Whatever you want, you got. It's just the visual. a screwball, you go on fire, whatever you want you got.

It's just a visual you were like, Oh my God, the world is at my fingertips. Yeah, they were frozen too. Yeah. Oh, they dry ice. Yeah. Would keep you had to wait like two weeks. Am I getting a fat frog? Am I getting a WWE bar? Am I getting a push pop? Say one pulls up right now. What's your go to? Like what? Like right now you haven't had one in a while. What? Hold on real quick. Those things don't a lot of those things don't well they they redid the WDEE. I was gonna say the WWE bar that's with the cookie on it right? A little like Stone Cold Steve Austin

or whatever. Yeah yeah yeah. I mean if I'm if I'm gonna I mean fast but they don't make those anymore I'm probably gonna go Chipwitch or or I might go um like a strawberry shortcake. OK, I know you're talking about like toasted almond shortcake. You know, like those had the chocolate eclair, the chocolate eclair, those three big guns. Yeah, those three big toasted almond. You were you were a gentleman. Only a few kids got that.

Yeah, because it had a little like anisette flavor. Yes, exactly. Which is a real mature for me. I was used to that taste because of the Italian, you know, they always just have anisette toast from Stelladora. It's like a biscotti. Oh, Stelladora, don't get me started. I'm going to give a shout out to Stelladora for a second.

If you don't mind taking down about 10 seconds. Because they are still, I mean, a big good dog in the cookie game. And I think they do it without advertisement. Buddy, they're so good. It's just word of mouth. I just learned what they I didn't know that was the name of them as a dirtbag Irish Catholic family that never came across. I mean you've had a Swiss fudge, right? I don't think so. A Stelladuro Swiss fudge? A Stelladuro breakfast treat? You never had that? They're like steeped in an S? My grandmother was big on them. The biscotti looking one. The little anthill one. Spongy and crispy. Yes, they would have that in the morning with a cup of tea.

They were always in my grandmother's house. I love it. They would dunk that. Did you dunk bread and butter in their coffee too? Did you do that? No. It's got to be an Italian thing. Dunking bread and coffee.

Not like white bread, but like a roll. Like Italian bread. Rip it off. That's a New York thing. In New York, you know what's big is a butter roll. Butter roll in the morning. Cup of coffee and a butter roll. I've never seen that until I moved to New York, you know, what's big is a butter roll on a roll in the morning cup of coffee in a motorway I've never seen that. Oh, I moved to New York. Yeah, that's that was like preempts bacon egg and cheese. Yeah. Yeah

But yeah, you got to get yourself a package of Swiss fudge. It's like three. It's like 340. No doors. All right, you Think the price point 49 you got that you don't like about Stella door though is they print the price on the packaging Nobody's gonna hold you late it. Yeah, you can't manipulate Manipulated yeah, they would be like a more old-school version of Entenmann's yeah Yeah, you know I've seen it. I've seen it and stuff. I just never that would have never Back to the ice cream though, I know what the truck that this guy's talking about. It's a very suburban truck It's like it can it's like a van and there's like a little extra a little extra room on top

No, they were says this is the Sienna. He said it's a Toyota Sienna Like a smaller cargo van with the refrigeration. That's some guy trolling. Yeah, I would run, then go and tell. See something, say something. See what they have. Remember those Emanuel Lewis? Do you remember those PSAs? Yeah.

You know Webster Emanuel Lewis. There was a PSA he did where he was like, if someone is touching you in a way that you don't want, run, then go and tell. And I got to tell you, it was effective. Because here I am at 47 and I know what to do with some run going and telling me or we're the same age And they were they were big on that when we were kids they were big on Like the kids on different strokes saying not to smoke crack. Yeah, it's like they all did for real That was that was the only way to get messaging to the kids ever. And they did that all through the 90s as well.

Like say by the bell, they would all have like the, you know, getting high, the child kidnapping. They all had the PSA. Very special episode. I was gonna say, Sal, vouch for this. The kidnapping thing when we were kids, they put the fear of God into us. Cause the kid, Adam got, John Walsh's kid got.

Biggest story in the world. Captured the nation. That's all my favorite. I mean, we were watching that, like, you was this there was the smog strangle was walking around We were just like the guy that took Adams gonna take you basically I'm hundred percent anybody looked at me crooked any van any car that drove by that was white, you know, whatever It was always white too. That was always I remember one time we solo We saw a white van in our neighborhood and my dad drove by, stopped,

turned around, and I'm like, what are you doing? He goes, that guy don't, that van don't belong here. It was late at night and he drove by and wrote the, he's like, get a pen, and he wrote the license plate down. Nice. Is that an East Coast thing, a regional thing? Because I swear to God, I specifically remember when we were little, we would literally, they would literally be like, whether it was the kids or so

They'd be like guys. I just heard there's a van going around down down down You know we didn't have van going around and you know trying to get kids. We're gonna look out Yeah, be on the lookout. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I know yeah, we're needles in my M&M's Yeah, I still make sure any bag of chips passes the air test yeah, absolutely I'm not rolling the dice we are ice cream guy now bag of chips passes the air test. Yeah, absolutely. I'm not rolling the dice. Our ice cream guy, now that we brought this up, the run and go and tell. We love this guy.

His name was Leon. It's a good ice cream guy name. Yeah. Yeah. He was like a weird cat. He reminded me, I don't know who he reminded me of, but we liked him. So he used to give us his trash because I lived in a Hartman complex. So he would pull up and we'd all be out and he'd give us his trash to go

Dump his trash in a dumpster and then he gave us free gum, but nice guy. Yeah, well we work for the commission That was another thing to he listen. We didn't grow up with the with the soft serve which I'm a New York guy now. Mr. Softy. I do the twist with the chocolate Now, Mr. Softy, I do the twist with the chocolate. Love it. Big, big fan. But the variety in that in the in the good humor truck, they had candy, too. That was the first time I had baseball cards to baseball cards. Ring pops, baseball. I mean, it was it was my guy had the snaps.

The I mean, it was like it was like a basically a toy store pulled up to. You know, there is nothing better than that. And I used to watch I would you know when I was a kid I would do too I do something chocolatey and then I would get something fruity for dessert. Just to smooth it down to a snow cone You guys remember I don't I don't think anyone remembers this but there was a gum This is what he used to give us. It was it was wrapped up like You know was in like individually wrap. Yeah, like a like a halls or whatever it was called big bowl They hear it was a hard candy that like it it it it looked like a pump But it felt like a sneaker like a spirit heels

Played like a hard candy, but then eventually it broke down into no Kind of like blow pop like the top of a blow pop. Yeah, yeah big big bol Yeah, right here. Yeah, that still exists. It looks so you can get I can have it here in two business days No, you're kidding You got to order a gross of it though. It's 40 years a lot of go 40 years since I've had that they were a nickel a Piece so we love this guy and then one day after years. We found out he wasn't coming around why He made he made an advance on a kid or something like that. Something involving inappropriateness with a kid.

Oh shit. Yeah. That's one of those things where it's like. What happened to all the ice cream? The kid ran, he went and he told. He ran and he went and he told, there you go. Our guy, now he wasn't our childhood guy, there was a handful of childhood guys that you would see,

but then as we got older, we'd be hanging out at like the shopping center, you know, smoking, skateboarding, whatever. This guy came around and he would buy us beer. We'd be like, hey, we'll give you, we'd all pool in five bucks. How old were you then? 16, 15, 15. It was pre-driving.

Okay, but it was a different time back then. Different time, I'm talking, this was like the 1960s. So you were eight or whatever. He was like, here, get a Schlitz. No, but we gave him, let's say we gave him like 30 buckss. So you were eight or whatever. No here get a Schlitz and no But he we gave him the same game like 30 bucks. He came out with like Three beers and was like here you go. Yeah, you don't have a leg to stand on I got you dead the right I got I got one for you. So how do you feel about the affogato? That's huge now

Getting that in an ice cream truck. We are you talking about? I'm saying now. That's all over the place. My wife loves it. The affogato now is like leaks. You see it everywhere. Yeah. It's like cauliflower three years ago. You're not wrong.

Yeah. Doing mixed tapes with Billie Eilish. I didn't know the affogato until late in life. I probably saw the affogato under the last 10 years myself, but now I'm seeing the affogato everywhere to the point where some people are like, what's the Afogado? I know the Afogado, so I've been explaining to people what it is recently. It's so good.

But I like it because I'm like, you know, I just, you know what it is? It's not something that I get or see all the time. So when it's on there, I'm like, let me deviate, you know? And I also feel a little bit adult and distinguished for some reason, or maybe like I'm in Italy or something. More of a savory dessert. Yeah.

I'll tell you what it is with it. Is first of all, you have to like coffee ice cream. Which I don't. Really? I do not. That's basically what it is. You're making your own coffee ice cream. But what it does, what they do now

is it's like a full dessert now. Well they'll do a scoop of ice cream and they'll have a little cup of espresso that you pour over top. But when you pour that over top, it all starts to blend together and you get that little soupiness around it, which makes an ice cream.

That's what it's all about. You put your whole foot in, you put your whole foot out. You don't matter to science guys. It's gotta be the right temperature. I mean, goes from screaming at me about, the thought of, of avocado, to the most detailed poet poetic. I was saying in context of the ice cream cream truck you're not getting that you got it You got a choco taco like a gentleman left. Can you answer me a question?

What is the place between gelato and ice cream? Is it just a different preparation about four bucks a cup? Yeah It's the it's the the milk or something. It's not cream. I believe it's the the egg content Yeah, is what it is. It's the dairy is something Can you get on the one and twos over there? I got you pal Gelato uses less cream and more milk than ice cream and contains no egg yolks or eggs at all Ah, really? Okay, so it's none of it. All right, so there's less product and they're charging three times the price Can't be like a little blue chill. I'm hard right now. Just thinking about it gang Do yourself a favor get over to get a little blue chew. Wooo! I'm hard right now just thinking about it. Wooo! Gang, do yourself a favor.

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Did somebody say skip? It's so superior though. It's more refined. It's more refined. It's so superior. Yeah, I mean the flavor. It's the thickness of it It's almost as good which my favorite is what you never really get to have but my dad introduced me at a young age is custard Did you ever have frozen custard? Oh, yeah Were you a sherbert guy?

Really? I know it push pop. Well sherbert push pop was very sure Not even the Flintstones the one with like the circle colored dots on it like circle Yeah, the push pop when I was young. Yeah, it was a thing. I'd like polka dots in all different rainbow colors That's what it was. They probably then licensed it to Flintstones and that's how they got their hand. I don't know anything about the business What do I know I'm a poor kid from Staten Island Was popsicle brand it was it was called push popaten Island. Who was that? Was it Popsicle brand? It was called Push Pop, I guess. Yeah, but it was Popsicle brand.

But that was my go-to number one for like five, six years as a kid. It was never enough for me. I needed two of them to take the edge off. That was the problem. But there was something about being able to... I mean, the gimmick of it, hook, line and sinker for me. Oh, all of this back then. At first it was a little difficult and then you eased it in, you know, you started putting it in. Making sexual crowns.

It was a sexual thing, I guess. Couple of drinks. But I liked that because it wouldn't spill over. Yes, you could throttle it the amount you wanted. Yeah, you could sip it. It was clean. I really liked it. I really did.

I liked an Astro Pop back in the day, but that got everywhere. I didn't like them. Oh. What was an Astro Pop? The red, white, and blue. The rocket pops. The firecracker.

Firecracker. Oh, no. Fully saluting his treat. Wait, he's all running down his arm. Thank you for your service. No, actually, the ice one I get. But there was one that wasn't ice. It was like a rocket pop.

Is that what it is? There was a rocket pop that was banana, vanilla, and chocolate rocket pop it's not like it's not ice cream, right? It's like this like like like this. It looks like a carrot. It's like water ice. No, no, not that Hold on. Are you talking about the candy Astro pop? Yeah, it's like it's like really really It's not quite a lollipop not quite taffy. Yes, they would be in the front that I don't like. Oh, yes I love those things, but you hardly ever got them and they had a little thing of wax at the bottom of it quite a lollipop, not quite taffy. Yes, they would be in the front. That I don't like. Oh, yes. I love those things, but you hardly ever got them. And they had a little thing of wax at the bottom of this thing.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Kick rocks with that thing would rip your molars out in two. That looks like it was made in a lab. Sure. My body is a temple. It like wasn't quite taffy and it wasn't quite. Well, it wasn't quite lollipop. It was almost like when a lollipop would sit around for a couple of years Yeah, you'd like find an old pack of dumb. That's exactly what it was like exactly. Yeah, did you guys remember this though?

Did you didn't do good humor there was a good humor. It was Jack when I was a kid It was Jack and Jill so that's who supplied us with the eclairs the strawberry shortcakes and the yeah That's who the school got. Who supplied us. I love that you said that was our plug. He Claire, I'm going to actually change the way I say it. Claire now. What? He Claire. Yeah.

It's better declare. Yeah, but I've never heard it's called an Eclare. Really? Elio's are Elio's for you. I used to say Elio's. Elio's. Yeah. Which we told me go way back with Elio's. I know guys are on the pod. You say Detroit or Detroit, Detroit, Detroit.

So I say Detroit. Yeah. I think that's where the E-clair. Yeah, I like it. I like chocolate. Plus, it sounds tech. You know, we will. Yeah. So we were with that. Oh, there was a there was a period of time where, you know, the wooden sticks that like you have the strawberry shortcake. Sure. Yeah.

Popsicles. Yeah. sure, I'm sorry. I gotta take a VA now. Band-aid, remember getting boxes of them? What? You guys, growing up, there was just a big yellow and brown box of popsicle sticks for arts and crafts we had at the house. Yeah. Yeah, crafts out the ass.

Crafts out the ass. Was that the story you shot that time? Come on down to crafts out the edge. I could never think in a three dimensional way with those. I would just make a square. A pentagram? That's all I could think of. You could never go on.

I didn't think to. I built a jewelry box with it. Had my trinkets in there, had a lid. I colored it with markers. At that point it's woodworking. I was a lid. Oh, wow. I colored it with markers. You basically do. It was green. At that point, it's woodworking. I was a bit of a master craftsman.

I was a bit of a master pop sticksman. They used to say in blue lettering, good humor on both ends of that popsicle stick. Okay. So you saw good humor, and then when you finish it, you're good humor at the top. There was a time where inside the ice cream part,

it would say, instead of good humor, it would say instead of good humor, it would say lucky stick. And if you got a lucky stick, it was free ice cream. Whoa, really? So when we would buy ice cream. Talk about keeping you hooked. Exactly, when we buy ice cream, there was always the thrill

that there might be a free popsicle in there. And this one girl, Marissa, she always got them. Really? She just had the hot hand all the time She was the one that always got him, but when you got a lucky stick it was like oh my god I felt like you were like you know you will walk around with purpose after that sure where would you where would you redeem that? No, I at the ice cream truck. Oh, really. Yeah, so he he you know he on he probably hated that Yeah, I'm sure he had coming out the bottom line cost me 75 cents. Yeah, he's got to deal with corporate.

That's good stuff, man. Uh, all right. Let's see here. This one with this has never really been talked about on the show. And I'm curious to be a satin. This is this is from Ian Ten Dollar Homie. Is it garbage if your town had a club for pre teens only every Friday and Saturday night, one of the indoor roller skating buildings would have a DJ and only let in seven through ninth graders to dance club music and grind on each other.

Sure. That was have that we did. Yeah. And I went. Yeah. Did you have the Catholic school dances when you were a kid? CYO. We had all those dances and we had I mean, this was grammar school those clubs. Yeah. Seventh grade. Ours was seventh grade. It was called Beach Street. Oh, wow. We shampooed to shampoo. shampoo if you were a shampoo you were all you were Who was it was a nice night? So was 16 the under it was under 18 and Then they advertised they average my sister would go they advertise on the radio. Yeah, I remember being She drove her Eclipse down. I remember being like, she drove her eclipse down. I remember being like, I gotta get into shampoo. That in Egypt, remember Egypt?

Yeah, Egypt on the waterfront. I wish I remember the one that we actually went to the most but there was another one, the junkyard. Oh, that's a good name. But it's so funny, it's like, I remember the one that we used to go to and, well I probably went to it a couple times, but like, it's so funny to see kids sitting at the bar

ordering, like, like, you went to the bar to it a couple times, but like it's so funny to see kids sitting at the bar ordering Like you went to the bar to order a soda so I would just like my good fellow No lemon, please And my wife just walked out on me better making a double I remember one time I was the one time that I went and we would go usually they'd have a musical act and and Quite a production. Yeah, no, they would have like, um, you know freestyle music. Do you guys know that? It's like it was the freestyle club and house music. Yeah for like the Mid to late 80s. That's pretty much. Yeah. Oh my you but you've heard what big time Tommy listens to got you No big time Tommy. You've either heard this

Maria TKA most beautiful, you know big time Tommy you've either heard this Maria TK most beautiful, you know It's all this it's the same type of music, but you know it for sure so TK was left the music playing Yeah, that's a little that's a little more mainstream Deep cuts over but no these were big, big, big acts, but it was just like, you know, a moment in time, you know, but they still slap if you want to listen to them. They do. I'll send you some links. But I remember we were there and I was at the bar and with a friend or whatever, I was never one for trouble, I didn't stop fights, nothing like that. And there's always inevitably, this is the bully, you know? And this kid I didn't know, I was the other one, and I felt like he kicked my chair. I mean, with purpose, it's almost like an 80s movie.

He walked over, kicked the chair, my chair when I turned around, he's like, I heard you were talking about me. Never seen a kid in my life. He's got the- Rat tail. Not the rat tail, the full mullet and everything. And this was, we talked about this,

this was when turt this is with it when turtleneck chain over it. Yeah, this sock with the white, you know, you know playboy thing and I'm just like I Didn't say anything. I don't know what you're doing. He's like, yeah why I heard you did and he's like in my face I'm like what's about to happen right now, you know, and I the story doesn't really go anywhere He didn't do anything. I was, I smelled a dance off coming. Just start doing this in front of each other? So I broke into a karate stance. Karate was big, big at that time.

But it made me not want to go back anymore. Of course. You know, because I always, and that's the same situation I had on the bus going to school. There was kids from other schools that would like jump you all the time and stuff. And so I remember these days like you could viscerally remember, like getting ready to get on the bus and literally having fear like that you might get jumped that day. And that continues for the entire bus ride. Sure.

And then it lingers because you got the bus ride home. And I didn't feel comfort until I got home. This was a good like six months of like freshman year. And then it would start again the next day. It was like, it was no picnic. Yeah, it was a constant state of fight or flight. Taking the bus and clubbing was no picnic. No picnic.

The 12-year-old's a bumblebee. That's why they got rid of those, because eventually, there would always be a fight, and there would be like one little tussle or whatever. But I think eventually they got worse and worse, and finally they were like, we can't be doing this anymore. I don't think they do the CYO dances anymore. Really?

I don't think so. Oh, those weren't any trouble because that was just the school. That was just the school. Those were. Sometimes if they let other schools in. And they did, I think as long as you were, I think anybody could go theoretically,

but like there was different parishes around our neighborhood and all those parishes had grammar schools attached to them like visitation St. Helena's this and that so whenever it was like their home game. They really showed up They were like the cool guy and if other you were there there was little packs and fights would always happen and stuff Yeah, it was like the Warriors exactly There's a brawl at Club Soda Yeah, it was like the Warriors. Exactly.

Did you guys dance? There's a brawl at club soda. Did you guys try to dance? Because that's when you really had to chiddle get off the pot there when the girls were dancing. They're like, am I going to try to dance or not? No, I was a little fat kid. I would.

It's exactly what you're talking about, worrying about, that anxiety getting beat up on the bus. I had that anxiety going to those things as a little fat kid. And I would stand there in the corner. I would try to make jokes. I had that anxiety going to those things as a little fat kid and I would stand there in the corner. I would try to make jokes. I would do this, but like I would have like, you know, like in shape, good looking friends that would be out there. It took me, it's been in the jacket. It took me the entire dance to work up the courage to go over to

the girl that I like to ask to do one slow song. And by then your shirt's covered in punch. Oh. Excuse me, we're out of mozzarella sticks. Just rock hard walking up to the street. I remember it was at Beach Street when I, the moment I hit puberty, this girl walked in dressed like she was going clubbing. And she was like, whatever, if we were 13 or 14, that's what she was.

And it was like, it was the moment my life changed. Forever. She came in dressed like Britney Spears for that one music video. Unbelievable. And it was like it was the moment my life forever came in dressing Britney Spears for that one music on unbelievable and it was over there could be such a big disparity between kids at that age and and and you had to be amongst each other so when like a smoke show walked by and you were still like you know had a wrestler in your pocket I had a wrestler in my pocket.

Big John stud. It was dink for me. Had a wrestler in his pocket. It was porn swoggle. Yeah, I did dance one time and I think I was just so funny you bring that up. I danced one time it was at a at a Swim club, you know like we We go to a swim club in the summer. It would be like a place my mom would just like And we now there was a lot of our area it varied tonight It wasn't like a private swim club. It was like for the clarification

It was it would be it was classy for a moment very working class. Yeah. Yeah, it was a play It was daycare. Shut up. I'm a work. Yeah, my mom would work and you go Oh, we'd like oh so and so was going to the pool. She'd be like I'll drop you off you hang out with them all day Right and a little you know couple pinball machines great childhood is great great drop you off hang out there all day Snack I do a ball pool especially back then lawless. No one's paying attention your to-do list Is it snack snack bar pinball pool repeat your basketball. There was a basketball court Oh, yeah, get me take Calgon. Take me away. Yeah Snack bars ain't the same like they used to be either no cuz I was at a field hockey game

Not that long ago in the pit. How are you doing? I was doing research But they had an annual Bash sure right at the end of the summer. And there was a stage, it was brought to you by Beech Tree Productions, actually. They brought a stage. And I was dancing on stage for like, I found one. Were you drunk? That was the perfect amount of Coca-Cola, chicken fingers, whatever that chemistry.

You came out of that cocoon. I was dancing and I remember them going, he good for hours my friends are like what are you doing like they were all like back you know I don't know probably smoking cigarettes or something you guys have roller skating rinks yeah okay so we had regions that was amazing to palace on the Boulevard we had starstruck love the name starstruck so that was I mean and also back then roller skating is to That was cool. That was the thing I mean teen I mean skate with a girl if you're gonna slow to hold a hand

Same thing video games the crane machine a hot pretzel flirting all that stuff drop you off pick you up later Autonomy, right? Yeah, so and the best I can keep going if you guys know but I remember and they used to pump the music And it was just like a place where you felt like All right this I'm being social right now Yes girls and his friends and like and I remember like when you first learned what cool was yeah You're in out. Are you cool? Oh the cool kids are doing that you were figuring it out. You're there at you know 12 but then there's also

17 year old girls rolling around making out with people and you're like, oh my god, we're in the same, it was like Stranger Things type of thing, right? And I remember, because you reminded me of it when you said you started dancing for the first time, I remember getting my first little bit of confidence with roller skating, where I wasn't like, what, what, what, and so I took that and I ran too far with it right away.

And so I was like, oh, okay, so now I'm more like, confidence, I'm wearing it in my face, and it looked a little more effortless. Got a little swag about you. Yeah, when I was turning, I was doing that thing where you step over. Whoa, that thing's big. Couldn't do it left, but I did it right. And I remember, actually my dad was at this one,

so I was probably a little younger, and they were playing Let the Music play by Shannon, there you go. Yeah, I was just singing that that's what you say You were singing that way. Yeah, we won't get away. Oh, yeah that that one that that by the way that comes in I was a hit that come the way that starts when it's like Yeah, I mean I can't believe it I mean it's I mean anyway so I'm gonna DJ say I'm rolling around my dad's at the end and he's standing up you know the boards on the wall and I'm going and I'm I know I just got overtaken by my confidence and Shannon

and I started going low like this and I started like call that bop I started doing jazz I was going down doing jazz hands look out I couldn't this and I started like call that bop I started doing jazz I was going down doing jazz hands look out I couldn't stop and I slammed into that thing boom hit hit it fell to the ground where the one like where everyone was like that and I remember even being so mortified in front of my own father and I I mean that stuck with me now where I will never ever like take something and run with it right away He just turns around leaves remember the boys. That's not my kid Yeah, I was gonna ask you what side of that you were on because it's it's like what you were saying

There was always a kid that developed bigger that was in there So there was like being trapped with a gorilla Yeah, you know what I mean? Yeah, it could be multiple of them not to mention. It's 12 to 16. The kids that are 16 are so much bigger They know how to skate. I was never the kid that could go out there and be I would Go around a little bit But it always like hurt my ankles and I couldn't skate and I was always timid and like off to the side I never had the courage to like, you know be in the mix and be like the center of attention.

It's a shame because I really think that that experience at its max potential is probably a really great one. Dude, if I look back, if I could go back now with the, you know, even if I look like this, I'd be out there fucking kids. You'd be killing them with the 13 year olds. Be that guy that's like weaving in and out of everybody. That was me.

That was you. I played hockey. That was you? I played hockey but it wasn't until you? I played hockey growing up. I played hockey but it wasn't until seventh eighth grade. Oh yeah. So as a kid at 11. Really?

Oh I was back, whatever you need, I was zipping and zapping. I was probably the best skater at the point. Anything you needed so long as it wasn't shots on goal. Even more so than like the. That's a defenseman. Who was the guy that would be like a lifeguard in there? Yeah, the guy with the whistle.

The ring guy. I was better than him. I was really good. They were good. I lifeguard in there. Yeah Yeah, they were great I got I had my own rollerblades so I show up. Oh, what do you got the Reynolds? Hey, I'm zipping yeah, I toward roller blades. Yeah, it was after that point is all really Oh, so you showed up with the fucking two-byte dudes. I'm like you weren't skate. You weren't holding the broads in Yeah, different time. I different time. Ohs either. Look at that. They had different times. They had different times. Oh, okay. This is the 90s.

Oh, okay. I was born in the 80s. We were out there with metal wheels. My skates, my hockey skates were Tor. They were called Tor. They were the biggest brand. But they were quads. And then when they came out.

Inlines. Yeah, when Inlines came out, I rejected them wholly. Yeah. Yeah, I didn't like it. I always said they were kind of cheesy. Yeah. When we started, it was like the opposite. I always thought they were kind of cheesy. Yeah No, so it's when I when we started was like we were faster for sure faster Have you have you guys seen this new?

Breed of like it started out like roller derby girls And now they're they're like roller skate ladies who go to skate parks like do backflips and stuff like at the skate park It's awesome. That's pretty cool. I signed me up It's great. I've also seen Skate fights where they just have dudes on ice skates like no just boxing they have them on roller blades and you have roller blades It's boxing but just like the fight hockey fights. This is sanctioned. Yeah, it's Russian. Yeah, it's Russian Heavily bedded I would yeah, that's amazing. I mean, I I've never heard I'm heavily better than I would have. That's amazing. I mean, I've never heard of it. I'm going to Google that. It's a great idea, man.

Just cut that. It's like the slap boxing thing. Just cut out all the bullshit, get to the fight. It's the craziest thing that I've seen that they do over at one of the craziest things is the telephone booth fighting. Do you ever see that? They put two MMA fighters in a telephone booth. It's insane.

And the front seat. They do it in the front seat. I haven't seen that. That's pretty good. You are absolutely pulling my leg. And then one of them seat. I haven't seen that, that's pretty good. You are absolutely, let's pull my leg out. No, they just go, brrrr, and then one of them falls. Yeah, you haven't seen those? That's terrible.

It's amazing. That's entertainment, baby. I have so many mixed emotions right now. Using the phone, hitting each other. Hysterical, fascinating, curious, but at the end of the day. It's violent. Yeah.

You have to be, well, those fighters, that's what they, you know. That's so funny. There's like two inches of the day. It's violent. It's violent. Yeah, you have to be well those fighters. That's what they you know, that's what they love He there's like it's like two inches of leeway. So you really got to get hit a lot. It's like a rock and sock I'm robot. No messing around who signs up for that fighters man Just like fighting I know but just you can just fight you got to lace up some in lines getting a phone You got to lace up some in lines getting a phone You got a cut you're that's like doing open Mike you want to cut your teeth somewhere to impress me in lines in the phone Jesus Christ, I let's do it a couple more questions here

This one this one's just funny. This is from Will. Are you garbied if you had an on-demand movie rental expire halfway through a scene That's fucking great were you all did you have that at a certain point was it was cable in your house when you were a Kid I got cable in I got a cable box in seventh grade seventh grade didn't have the on-demand yet or no So I had a cable box in 89. Okay. Yeah. I remember it the first day we got it. I remember Scientific Atlantic was the brand, something like that. And it was just, I remember the remote because it never had a remote like that again.

If you held down plus or minus, it would go at a rate but it was like it had a haptic like it was like you'd hear when you change a channel you hit so we go you'd hold down like yeah no but no hesitation no loading no you know what I mean yeah it was amazing so speed so you didn't even really if you wanted to go from channel 10 to 50 I didn't type in 5-0 I just held on oh yeah I was never the type in guy yeah but I I got it. The first thing I did was watch a Ranger Islander game. I remember that nice No one one of my favorite things Was I guess you don't know you know, you don't really do it anymore

But if you were throttling between two shows, right? You really was like a lot of times I was like either sports or was like if I was like wrestling or whatever and Something else was on the previous channel button. Yes. Man, at commercials you go boom and sometimes you would get in a flow state where it worked out perfect. 100% last. Hit last. When you're in full ketosis? Yeah. Hit last. Zoned in. Dialed in. Let's go. Boom, boom, boom. The previous key. Amazing. Were you a picture in picture family ever? That might as well have been NASA science times. I remember when it came out and our television had it for the first time we tried it a couple times and like This isn't gonna take can't hear nothing and it didn't take by yeah

No, as a technology, I don't even know if they do that in TVs today Well, they do it I think with the red zone or whatever it is. You have the different games going. That's where it makes sense Yeah, you know what? I know what I was sure was gonna crash and burn and I believe it did the 3d television never got off the ground Yeah, never practical. No, I'm like, I don't want to see anything They tried that shit in the 90s too and it no one wants to do you know, what do you mean? 35 hunch for a headache. Yeah, really exactly. Then they stopped doing 3d movies didn't they? Yeah, they try it. I feel like they try it every like 15. They got the word

They don't have 3d movies anymore. Avatar was the last one avatar with everything are certain like big ones Yeah, like big ones were that were like nobody wants to watch you know They're trying to push it more with the VR now. That's where they that's where they think it's gonna land But it's thanks although you haven't lived unless you've seen fried green tomatoes in three Kathy Bates is coming at you All right, let's see. This is from Andrew. Ten dollar homey. Never have one read.

Is it garbage to eat dino nuggets with your Caesar salad and call it protein? That's not bad. I don't hate it. A chicken nugget Caesar salad. That's that's insane. Actually, now that you say it like that, how do you feel about the Caesar salad, Sal? You know, oh Really be divisive. I have thoughts on everything. I have thoughts all I do all day is overthink Caesar salad

When my first my first foray with it, I enjoyed it. Okay later on I I I They started putting I mean they do but I don't like the anchovy really. No, not at all So figured Italian kid growing up you would have had the real deal. don't like the anchovy. Really? No, not at all. So I figured Italian kid growing up, you would have had the real deal. I never did anchovy, ever, ever. No, so I can't mess with that. So when I started seeing anchovies, I was like, no. But then I also found out that that sees a dressing.

You might as well have a Big Mac. Oh yeah, it's heavy. It's heavy. Yeah, you might as well. It's like a thousand calories. Yeah, so then what it boils down to at the end of the day then is a romaine leaf, a sprinkling of some cheese there there and like a crouton which isn't bad, but I don't feel fulfilled anymore real

Yeah, I wanna I wanna I moved on like in my adult years to arugula red onion a little parmigiano reggiano Maybe a little balsamic. I'm with you I don't love arugula because it's always so dry Yeah, it doesn't like it't, it also like absorb anything. Little olive oil on there, mix it up a little. I'm a baby spinach man. I had arugula this morning. Baby spinach is my, those are my two.

You had arugula this morning? I had arugula this morning. With some eggs? I had a little egg, a little scramble. She made me a little scramble. Nice little everything bagel, little one. And the arugula with, she put a little cracked pepper on there with olive oil. Nice felt not really nice.

Very nice. I don't know watermelon juice. Ah, did you? This was all her. I never we never had watermelon juice in the house before. Good stuff. Delightful morning. Yeah. You know, it's really good in the summer is a watermelon salad. Watermelon feta cheese, a little bit onion, tomato, lots of pistachio in there, too. Sure. Sure. That's my favorite summer salad so good. Yeah,

it's so good seasonal salad you got yeah like seasonal salad gentlemen with it and I'll beat goat cheese. I'll do that to like a goat cheese, but I don't like a chef salad a cop a cop I'll do it for lunch if I'm really a cop you love a cop I like a cop I got to be in the mood. I got to be in the mood for bacon bits, huh? Sue me. I well we're different people Yeah They didn't hit your house really hard when you were a kid when they first started banging

No, how they were huge at the full house and by themselves bacon is the thing that repeats on me a bit So maybe that's the reason I get a little larger to sure make sense. All right. let's see, we got time for one more here. This was from Foley 343. What's the longest and fastest you've ever gone in reverse? You're listed as a brilliant. That is so good, dude. That is so good. You listed as a brilliant.

That's one of the funniest things, funniest questions I've ever heard in context with you guys. Some people just get it. That's so funny. I remember the first time I saw it, it was because we lived in the suburbs and my aunt lived in the city and she left the house, like my house in the suburbs and was driving and forgot something and reversed all the way down the street because that's what they had to do in the city because it's all one way.

And I was like, she came down cooking like this, like, and I was like, this broad's nuts. That's just what it is in the city. You had that skill set. You gotta loop it around. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, I drove backwards, I think for shits and gigs, from my childhood girl's house to my job,

which probably I would estimate at about a mile. Jesus Christ. What? I was thinking like 200 yards or something. What? to my job which probably I would I would estimate at about a mile I was thinking like 200 yards what yeah three quarters of my it was a residential small streets the big Z it was that's like the Bronx tail he's yeah it was a straight it was a straight. It was a right And it was straight right and straight and that was it Jesus that's a lot. I used to deliver pizza in that hood. So I knew it well

Again, and I just I get only three accidents. What? Yeah, you remember that I totaled every pizza car ever do it But but I would have a new sideway I would have maneuvers for days like that. I would never go all the way around. I mean, you have to play the angles. I was on a clock, maybe. The more I hustled, the more I made. Not tarnishing my reputation.

I'm not paying for this pizza. I'm paying it out right there. I'd rather get a summons. Gang Sal Vulcano. Love you, baby. The special is terrified on the 800-pound gorilla YouTube page, and he's got tour dates right now I love you, buddy. We love you so much. We love you, buddy. This was so much fun. Anything else you want the folks out there to know? I'm on tour with the Jokers right now through August. They love you.

I'm on tour with the Jokers right now through August. They love you. I'm on tour with the Jokers right now through August. I'm on tour with the Jokers right now through August. I'm on tour with the Jokers right now through August. I'm on tour with the Jokers right now through August. I'm on tour with the Jokers right now through August. I'm on tour with the Jokers right now through August.

I'm on tour with the Jokers right now through August. I'm on tour with the Jokers right now through August. I'm on tour with the Jokers right now through August. I'm on tour with the Jokers right now through August. I'm on tour with the Jokers right now through August. I'm on tour with the Jokers right now through August. I'm on tour with the Jokers right now through August. I'm on tour with the Jokers right now through August.

I'm on tour with the Jokers right now through August. I'm on tour with the Jokers right now through August. I'm on tour with the Jokers right now through August. I'm on tour with the Jokers right now through August. I'm on tour with the Jokers right now through August. I'm on tour with the Jokers right now through August. Guys, I love a lot of coming of his thank you for making time for me. We love you buddy This was so much fun anything else you want to folks out there to know I'm on tour with the jokers right now through August. It's the last leg of this tour and that tour is done There's still about like 15 cities 18 cities up there same thing same thing as my tour Savilecano comedy comm My tour kicks off in November, and I'm with them through August so all the tickets are on there right now And that's pretty much love you buddy Kippy, what do you got for him? We're also all over the road. The route 66 tour is on sale Those tickets are moving quick. So get them tickets. Also, we have other dates Portland Seattle Vancouver

Yeah, come out love to see you Sal. We love you buddy. Love congratulations. Thank you and gang We love you and we'll see you next week. Peace