Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Dungeons & Dragons w/ Kippy & Foley
Episode Date: November 23, 2023Are You Garbage is back with Kippy and Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. Its a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live ...show! NEW TOUR DATES: https://areyougarbage.com/ Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/hfoleycomedy/ Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/ PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Box of Awesome: https://www.BoxOfAwesome.com Promo Code: GARBAGE Butcher Box: https://www.ButcherBox.com/AYG Promo Code: AYG Manscaped: https://www.manscaped.com Promo Code: Garbage Aura Frames: https://auraframes.com/garbage Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?
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What's up, everybody? That stay trashy tour is rolling on coming down to the wire.
Few shows left. It's a mix of stand up comedy, AYG, me and the big man co headline that we
come out, close the shows out together, playing AYG with the crowd. Get your take.
Yeah. The Cuba line gang are coming to Minneapolis, Minnesota. Madison was constant. Milwaukee
was constant. Second minute, California, second minute, California. Again, he got to
charge their scoop him up San Francisco, California, San Jose, Washington, D.C.
and they were closing out the year with two shows
at the Fillmore in Philadelphia, the 21st of Salt Out,
get tickets for the 20th and come see the boys.
You're welcome.
So another exciting edition of Are You Gobbage?
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash.
Now here are your hosts Kevin Ryan and H Foley.
Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's new favorite podcast.
This is our you garbage.
So at little show we sit down to your favorite comedians
and we find that a figure to be classy.
Yeah.
Or if they're just a big old piece of trash.
Trash trash trash.
I'm your host, Dave, totally coming at you
on a beautiful day.
We're out back here at Tooties in a new edition.
She's down here in the basement with the plumber.
Oh, boy.
Just trying to get the boiler situated.
Relax.
Everybody relax.
All right.
I did hear a little knocking in banging.
I let this tool build upstairs, too.
This boiler's rocking, baby.
Don't come and then then knock it.
My co is coming at you from across the table.
He is a CEO of RU Garbage.
He's dressed like the Ensign on the USS Enterprise right now.
You'll think the first guy killed in Star Trek.
Where'd you get that thing?
Give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan.
Be me up, Kippy.
What's up, everybody?
Thanks for tuning in.
As always, please make sure you rate
and review, subscribe on iTunes,
all video available.
And you too, as you know, those numbers are,
Shriterup, cooking.
And obviously, the greatest website of all time,
you go over there, you follow your phone,
your laptop, you will never,
you go over to www.patreon.com slash dot com slash are you garbage and let me tell you gang
The army at garbage is strong over there the homies are strong over there on patreon gang
It really is not to be if you're not sure what it is go take a game there are them numbers over there
There's a lot of stuff going on over there. You got videos. You got bonus episodes
You got vlogs you got travel stuff. I would put up nobody puts out more
episode you got vlogs you got travel stuff I would put up nobody puts out more
Patreon content tonight I'm going down I'm putting that down on the on the wire right there really What do you get you get up to two episodes a week? We're always dropping fun monthly stuff
Mm-hmm. You got all the the goals that we've hit the sure the
Store the the Shore House the Shore House. There's live live shows from the crews lives live shows from the crews
We just do we have we have with a big J J. Pete Lee Mark Norman Sean Patton Jim Norton
Who else was on the other one safe of sounds in Yani pop beat
Donnie pop it though. Yeah, and now that I'm thinking of it a couple of tixle for that second Philly shows the scoop them up
I would get them now one all sell outs. They don't say it's coming
You know she can get man worse than you
Couple of empty seats over there. What happened was there a pandemic is something that they pay you for this?
Flex on your mom
Where did you get that jacket? It's got real ER nurse vibes. It's the same jacket. It's just the gray version of the black one
I wear okay, it's just a little newer. It's the same jacket. It's just the gray version of the black one I wear. Okay. It's just a little newer. It's not as broken in. You know what I mean? All right. Yeah.
Real. You're about to go to the Dennis vibes. Okay. But I don't know. Go to the 10. Is there
vibes for a dude going to the dentist? You're at the dentist. Toby, where are you at over here?
Chinese shit on the sky. Back me up. Speaking of which, having a nice quick shout out to our
producer, X Jordaninaire to magic man
Makes us all look good works the ones the twos the threes and the fours he crosses the t's and he got's the dots the eyes He's got a brand new pair of jeans on he's very excited about give it up for t-bone Mcscruff and tell me McBull in everybody
What up boys what up t-bags? I got some new jeans. I hate his been braze been walking around like your fucking Cindy Crawford
Looking sharp. I've got all black jeans. He's like did he's look cool
I'm like there. I didn't know you who knows well. I've been wearing the same pair of jeans for about a year and a half
Sure, I'm right there with you. Yeah always one pair of jeans two pair of jeans. That's all you need I bought three
I felt like a real hot shot same kind. Oh same size same cut. You know it
Where's the guy like you get his jeans old Navy really yeah comfortable fit over there
It's mostly a sweat band material. I know it's all dork stuff, but H&M
They they cut me out and buying the same pants for a decade. They stop making my styles because I'm old now sure
Oh, that hurts when you walk in and people are like like where are your skinny jeans?
when you walk in and people are like, well, I'm like, where are your skinny jeans? Like kick rocks.
Everything's cut real bad.
There's gifts.
Beated.
You look like you're wearing your dad's clothes.
If you go to go to an H&M anymore, listen, man, baggage,
jeans, stunk then and they stink now.
Yeah.
Then I would tell you the, when I, when I first lost weight years ago, I had gotten,
this, this is pre-comedy.
I'd gotten really, I really porced up.
And, and I lost, I believe one half of the story
What that I really parked up
You did not lose it. I did because I had been wearing dress pants
This is this is before I gained the weight again and wore my my dead uncle's dress pants when you met me
At the Raven down here fill it of you
But I'd been wearing a whole business man.
He said,
oh my God, I know Charlotte,
I'm fucking three quarter length goat
with fucking holes in his sneaks.
Man, I wish the long coat would come back.
I really do.
It never looked good on you.
I know.
It didn't, you just didn't,
they don't look good on me either.
You need a good, you need a specific frame
and we ain't got it.
Yeah.
We're running around like fat, fat man. specific frame and we ain't got it. Yeah. Run it around like fat bad man.
I loved it. Pop the collar up.
So see the little ones.
I'll take a number four.
Oh, extra fries, please.
They call me the fart night.
Anywho.
Uh-huh.
I had, I dropped a bunch of weight and I don't think I had discovered old Navy yet or something like that because that was I eventually went there after this, but I went to the thrift store and bought a pair of jeans and they fit really good.
And like a week later, I was with somebody and they were like, what those are women's jeans. There's no pockets in the back. Hello, rice.
I can't think of the name.
It was like, it wasn't Lane Bryant, but I sure.
It might have been.
Or no, it's on a tip.
Liz Clayborn, they were Liz Clayborn jeans.
In what world would that be, dude's pants?
That's crazy.
I didn't look.
I was just excited that they fit.
And I remember coming downstairs and I was crying
to show my dad. I was like, I fit in them. Look coming down stairs and I was crying to show my dad
I was like I fit in them look at that and he was like, yeah, they look good
Your boyfriend coming over to dinner
You're running around in 9x L.A.G
It took me like a weird fat chick jeans
It's a damn collection
It's the damn collection. Now, is there a lot of junk in the trunk here?
You're walking around an apple bottom jeans.
Boots with the pair.
Parade juicies.
They always look so comfortable.
I wish I could have wore those.
Juicies.
Those pants.
Those sweatpants.
Man, when a girl had those on.
Those dropped when I was in high school
We're six walking around high school wearing them. Oh
Yeah, and you everybody you like all the you were probably dragging your desk around with you
Where my school bag in the front
Cool
Man those things were you're're telling me too much.
Man, and these, the girls all,
like all the hot girls had a specific,
like they knew they looked really good in what,
like there was, they all had one.
So it'd be like, so and so's where in the yellow
and they were always crazy colors.
Yeah.
Man, those things were all right.
Those, and I've said this before, solo yoga pants.
Yeah.
They dropped in high school too, man.
I probably shouldn't admit this.
Still got a little miss Peng Peng with those bad boys.
Patty picked up a pair of them at some point.
I was sweating.
God.
She wore them like once.
I was like, don't ever let me see you wearing them again.
She's a Trautetti video.
You f-
Don't fuck.
They have disgusting video vixen over here.
Shake and that, back it up and dump it.
Pat bent it over in the kitchen, grabbing the cookie sheets.
Oh, fuck.
Yikes.
He's well-filling.
Oh.
Okay.
Damn.
Yeah.
Never a thong.
You?
No, no.
I don't either one.
Yeah.
I don't think anybody's moms are wearing thongs got big it. I
You're appearing the brawds wear them the older brawds wore them sure for years. I father-in-law wears
Hell the keyster on him
Hey show it off rocket if you got it, you know, man take your tail feather
Yeah, I put the kai Bosch on that real quick.
Put your mom here in time?
No, no.
What the fuck with?
You dirty hole!
I got friends coming over.
No, she got a juicy, because they became,
because the way it always works is cool kids start wearing them
and then it filters in to the, you know, fucking DJ max.
And all of course.
And then everybody starts wearing them.
Sure.
You know, and I don't think she knew what she was doing.
Maybe she did, I don't know.
I was trying to get you a new daddy.
Out there trying to get you.
The father was a live and well, you son of a bitch.
Hey, don't blame me.
Blame that trollop of a mother. But she was getting paddy like that. She was kicking them and well you son of a bitch. Hey don't blame me blame that trollop of a mother, but she was
She was kicking them and I was like yeah, yeah, man. Yeah, I think I showed her like the flavor of love or something
My my mom never she never did it. She never had any crazy
She's always been you know a bit reserved
Never really showed it off. Little more of a deep christian fucking Catholic lady, you know what I mean?
We a little bit of the imagination, you know what I'm saying?
Can't be wearing booby tassels in church.
Uh, uh, my mom will get frisky every now and then and try like a leather jacket or something
and like, you know, it's like a little too cool for her.
They're okay.
But like you're just like, there's usually something where I'm like, that was on sale
at Coles.
Yeah, leather jacket and eternal neck.
Something like that.
It's like an Irish cross hanging out.
Some sort of pendant or something.
Yeah.
Fusy, a Vial Marcella coming behind that somewhere.
I don't think she does check in.
Check in. Yeah
Dude that is speaking of those dude. I went to my fucking I was down visiting Denise and
Kill some time me and the bird went to the mall that I grew up going to
Man those things got beat up here got me up there I struck out here
Got us really over here. So I'm pressing guys going, where you been? We're thinking over here. Although I got to say shout out the oxervally mall
out there and like Langhorner, whatever it's considered. Two A&Ns cooking. The rest of
the malls collapse and A&Ns got two locations. They're in the food court.
Because they innovate. Then they got a satellite job. Yeah, it was all it was good. But I mean,
like empty, you know malls are going to go doing bad when stores are closing in them before the mall closes
Oh, yeah, all closes at like nine so like I will swing over to you know window shop and whatever and like stores
We're closing up at like 6 30 on a Friday night. It's no good
Crazy you know what aunt Annie's needs to do is they need to get a soft serve machine to their cup
Little soft serve couple of them nuggies around there, home run.
Sure.
I think this one might have been connected to what are they like, the TCB wise.
Oh, those are what might have been a slash.
I remember my parents trying to push that shit on us when we were kids.
Instead of going to basketball robins, because they thought it was healthier.
And this is before they perfected the Greek frozen yogurt.
This was just Greek frozen yogurt.
This was just regular frozen yogurt. You were doing chains like that. I figured you
wouldn't be like a, we weren't a chain ice cream fan often on readers, but if it wasn't
readers wasn't popping yet. I guess it was two years in the 90s. Yeah. When I was a kid,
we would go to like, you know, and salacos or something like that some place some like some local place in Wuxberry. Got you. There was a there was a place on 309 in Wuxberry that a huge cow
That's growth I didn't make the joke could have been any one of your family members. They a huge cow. It's awesome awesome hard ice cream
Your mom and yoga fans. All right
But then yeah, we dab would go back and forth a little bit. We would do growing up.
Newtown had good nose, which was, it was like the guy.
Toadplace.
Yeah.
They were good.
I think they still might, I don't know if they're still open or not,
but that was like the local creamery or what like there.
Like it was a dairy farm.
Yeah.
Had their ice cream.
Same thing was not Steyer's, Tanner brothers.
Sure. You go there, you get your fucking, you get your good ice cream. Same thing with not styres, Tanner brothers. Sure.
You go there, you get your fucking,
you get your good ice cream.
But now we went local,
but you know, we would mix and match.
Basket Robbins was big for us when we were a kid.
We liked that bubble gum ice cream me and my brother.
Now we never loved it.
You ever have that?
Yeah, it's good.
I remember the first time I went to Coldstone Creamery
with my family and my dad thought the cover was going to hell.
Never been. Never.
I went with a group of friends in high school
like where there was like a half guys,
there was like five of us like two or three girls
and two or three guys and one of the girls
like let's go to Cold Zone Creamery.
I walked in and I'm like, I ain't eating this time each year.
Yeah, never.
Fuck outta here, all happy, happy birthday.
Like screaming at you.
Chopping up ice cream on a metal slab.
That's how I'll be a fuck outta here.
I'll be in the car catching a eater and listen as a fat guy
Sometimes you can it can be too much shit in there
Too much too many toppings
You get some kid all smoked out. Hey, I don't want him doing that. Let them do that shit that back at the lab
I don't yeah, I don't disagree like Ben and Jared give me the finished product and they're almost tipping the toe in the line of too much
Like their peanut butter cups. It's too many and they're whole fucking crack a molar over here
They got damn break break that shit up a little bit
The briars that it the best like three chocolate chips in there. That's it. Where can you see where briars?
It's do you know how to spell it? Yeah, I always felt like that was low
I felt like I was a Philadelphia thing.
No, campy.
I'm just saying like my interpretation of it
was that it was local.
But I'm pretty, I know it's national,
but where's that based out of?
Briars Vanilla.
The Vanilla Bean, the little lights.
The little specks in it.
Yeah.
Thought we were French when actually came out.
But they did have French Vanilla.
Yeah, no, but there was. My dad throwing one of those at the back door one time
Because it was like yellow. Oh, yeah, it was a creamy. Oh, no, then he's tried to pull that one
I said this looks like mustard get rock. I'll take I'll take my straight up rings of a nail all right fucking doing a shit with the old day
New it man. Oh shit. Is it a national brand now? It's gotta be briars. Philadelphia. I'm a new man. Look at that. Man, is it a national brand now?
It's got to be.
Breyers?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, we're coast to coast now.
Hey, we do Jerry's e. We do Delaware.
Yeah, we need Neapolitan.
Damn.
That's one of my biggest regrets.
I felt that for some.
I feel like my dad told me that.
One of my biggest regrets is looking back
in how Philadelphia has all of the fattest foods.
I don't know if baby that's why we love you.
Biggest regret as I look back and I always put my nose up
at the strawberry in the Neopolitan.
I still do.
It's awesome.
No, it's like it doesn't get there fully.
It's not enough and it's too little.
Give me a berry taste, not just like rose water,
fucking pansy as bullshit.
Nah, I wish I would have shown a little more love.
No, the vanilla is the one that stinks in the Neapolitan.
No, that's crazy talk.
That's, I just can't really.
It's all good.
Is what you're supposed to go across.
No.
No, it's got like a spamoney.
I'm telling you how you're supposed to eat it.
No.
We were just little, just little snots. That strawberry would sit there. I need to be. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no that point, I didn't, there was, I mean, things at home were rocky enough that the fucking ice cream
wasn't getting.
You would have two things ice cream in the house at the same time?
I think my mom would buy like two, yeah.
Ooh, never.
One, that's it.
And then she started moving over to E.D.'s.
Remember E.D.'s?
We had that for, I thought that was like rich people ice cream,
E.D.'s stuff.
Because there was commercials about it.
Like that, that felt like new money to me.
E-D-D wires. They might have done yoga. It might have been frozen yoga too or she had some frozen
yogurt in an household. That was in the tall cylinder rather than the tub. Yes.
He was that was like rich people shit to me. I remember when I was a kid and I used to watch
family ties and their ice cream was hogging dots and it was in the things before I even understood what a hogging DOS was
I was like man. They also had the orange juice in the picture and family that did that I was just a lawyer or something
No one does that. That's only existing commercials. No one's doing that. I think the only reason we ever did it
But it was never in a nice glass. It was never in a it was in a fucking one stained with like tomato juice
Yeah, yeah, when patty would break out the frozen orange juice. Yeah, the concentrate. I mean that's it. Yeah, of course that's all we had growing up
Yeah, you want a heartburn in first period?
Have a glass of that in the morning. I love that. Yeah, I love that jam you up. Kim, let's talk about the spoke post
Shout out to the spoke post box awesome. It's the holiday season. Mm-hmm. Oh man
Did they know what they're doing over there? But spoke post, Kippy's right, talking about the box.
Awesome.
You like doing cool guy stuff?
You like having cool guy things around the house?
You got grooming stuff, you got outdoor stuff,
you got stuff for the home bar.
Look like a real hot shot this holiday season.
And get over that into spoke post
and get yourself a box awesome, baby.
Yeah, it shows up at your doorstep, each and every month.
So there'll always be something to cheer you up when you need it. I get it, time I come home. I'm like I'm like I got the dog shit on the rug again
I look over nice box of awesome open it up treasure chest. I get a knife. I start
No, just a dare I'm practicing my moves. Obviously each box is fine
I told me got that each box is valued around $70
But you'll pay a fraction of that price plus with the box of awesome
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Do it game yep, kid?
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Kip, this is butcher box shout out to the OG butcher box.
I'm not going to pretend like you don't know what it is.
But for any of the homies or bozos out there,
I don't know it is heaven on earth.
Amen says, say you meet right to the house.
We're talking free range, not a wild caught salmon.
We're talking grass fed grass finished beef.
Yeah.
Unbelievable. Plus the deals they throw away this time of year are absolutely bonkos.
Yeah, and if you do with Thanksgiving dinner at the house, get yourself a butcher box, get that fresh turkey in there.
Yeah, we know what you know what a pro move a Thanksgiving is when you're talking meats and stuff.
Go hamburgers.
No, yeah, go with sloppy jos.
You got your father-in-law coming over so you're doing it.
Uh-huh.
Throw some fucking crab legs at him.
Let him know he's a fool.
He'll wow him with the doll.
Yeah, how's work going?
Crab legs.
Adam having sex with a turkey like a magic crick.
And I'm having sex with your daughter.
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Do it. All right gang, but all that's neither here nor there ice cream talk, fucking OJ talk aside. Let's fucking get into it. Go for a tone. I don't know about you guys.
Couple of sprinkings. A little bit of dipping knots. Uh, never. I know. I had a once or twice. It
didn't, like, it never got there again. It would just like, they freeze. They were too too cold
when you got them. I was suckers shit. That was that was shit for real poor kids at the amusement park
They thought they were getting something they have it all over their face and shit like that
Yeah, I'm not right next to this guy. It was all air. I felt like it wasn't dense in them trash
Yeah, it's like eating fucking cold styrofoam the all-time age-fully content pitch was us at some truck stop in West Virginia
In the middle of nowhere and they had the knockoff dip in dots vending machine and you're turning around going,
it's like dip in dots I've never had, it could be a video.
I'd say I wouldn't kick the tires a little bit.
But as Nurse Kippy said, this is neither here nor there,
so God damn family episode, as you folks know,
when you sign up for the old Patreon,
you get a question read on the air.
Yeah, and let's get to it in Hit the lights. Uh, this is from Chris Garcia.
We'll be right back. This isn't even a quiet. I guess it is. Uh, this is from Chris
Garcia. Yo, what cargate does your family play big difference between gin, run me and
an uno family? Yes. I still don't under I just don't know how to play gin, run me. I
got to play run me, but that's not gin, run me. I know how to play Rummy, but that's not Jen Rummy. I knew how to play Jen Rummy.
Um, when we did a arsenic at old lace at the hedgerow theater,
we sat around a lot upstairs.
And that's what we did while the rest of the play was going on.
With an old cop, played Jen Rummy.
Told us that I played Jen Rummy.
Nice.
I couldn't remember.
It's something with like matching numbers and shit like that.
Yeah, I mean, that's what Rummy,
the, you know, this,
you know, how to play run me, right?
Right?
I don't believe so.
Do you?
No.
It's like, we were not a, we were not a, I thought that is like smart households.
Like when I would go over to like, yeah, I learned it.
Yeah, I learned it late.
I learned it in like my junior high years or whatever.
Yeah, this one kid I grew up with, they were twins.
They had like a whole game room where they had like Scrabble and Monopoly and all that stuff.
We never had, we never had a pack of Uno cards.
My cousins did, but we never did any of that stuff.
We had, I guess it was also, you know, at this point,
it was probably when I was a kid,
it was way more popular than when you,
we had Uno, everybody had Uno, in the night,
everybody, every family had an Uno deck.
We had battleship, we had monopoly,
but it usually led to a fight always.
And we had a game called the Flying Finnegans,
which was like, Mouse trap.
It's a bunch of drunk iris guys next door.
Sorry, I told you about that.
Yeah, no, you did.
Shit, no, me.
We had, we had Mouse trap, I don't think it ever got to work.
I think I got it for Christmas.
I don't think it ever worked. remember it's something never got it together
And then do I remember one time my buddies? This is what I knew that like
Do you ever like you're like friends with somebody and then you go to their house?
Mm-hmm even then like you know, you're like a world little our families are a little different
But you know all in all still the you know same
Nobody's not yelling at everybody.
What's going on?
Dude, we went over as a Saturday, and I'm like,
we're like, young teens, 13 maybe?
So I'm like, that were like, all right, and bikes are skating
or something, and we go in there, and they're like,
all right, and they, they're, they're,
they're day they were spending, was like,
hey, your friends can come over.
We didn't know, like, we got there.
And they're like, hey, you can can stay but we're cleaning our board games
What so they took all the board games out took inventory of all the pieces
Tape the corners of the boxes made sure the instructions was empty. I was like me and Pat
I was like dude. Let's fucking this goes deal beer out of the fridge and go to the woods dude
This fucking sock no way I'm sitting here. I don't even wanna play monopoly, let alone clean it.
Grab her a person, let's get out of here.
Let's fucking steal this silverware,
it's gonna fucking hit the market.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
And I was like, oh, we're not,
our families are not the same.
Now, made you feel like a real,
always made me feel like a real piece of shit.
Like they were like smarter and like they had like
structured time.
Did I take it personally and did I hold it
in my head for 30 years?
You were dead.
They're as family, they're dog probably, I glasses.
My dog over in a lumpia.
Yeah, like I remember these kids had like series of like
a series of books like the Hardy Boys and stuff like that
and like Nancy Drew and all that stuff
and they would like have like reading time and all that stuff.
It was always a big especially. Start hurting each other.
Sure, yeah.
We doing it here.
Yeah, WWF want that thing?
Let's go.
It was always a big telltale sign too of.
Somebody build a fort, let's go.
Of the classiness of the family of where,
in the 90s, obviously,
where the video games were hooked up
and where the computer was. Right, the video games were hooked up and the and where the computer was
Right the video games were on the main TV just like on the living room floor as a pretty trashy fat
Sure, I'm in the same house we'd go over and before like anybody before people would have a TV in the other room or the bedroom or the basement or whatever
They do they would unplug it wrap it up coil it up put it away every single time or like dude Sega lived on my family room floor for
Fucking 10 years probably or whatever and they were like no, we'll put it away and you can play for an hour or whatever
I was like dude this is fucking yeah the same on though try to give you Apple slices what is she trying to
I'm not even joking she gave me guava juice one time and dude. I was like I was fucking spit it at her
I don't know my buddies like you don't like guava juice. I'm like dude. Where the fuck are we get me the fuck out of here
Guava I still ain't never had guava juice. Can I get a
Class versus trash rating on a move? I've been seeing recently. Uh-huh. How do you guys feel about eating an apple with a knife?
on a move I've been seeing recently. Uh-huh.
How do you guys feel about eating an apple with a knife?
Oh, it's great.
You slice it up.
Apple slices.
It's bubbling.
Yeah, it's nice.
Oh, in public.
What do you a rancher?
That's crazy.
Bad guy from Dennis the man.
Yeah, that's how you scared the shit out of me.
I was Christopher Lloyd.
Yeah, I know.
I saw a guy on the street with a pocket knife
just carving up an apple.
No, he's trying to be somebody.
He wants that to be his personality.
That's like what stuff that he does.
You know what I mean?
You think stuff's interesting about you
that's not really interesting.
Yeah, not that though.
I could see you getting into like flipping a big coin.
Yeah, exactly.
I'm like, what, oh, this thing?
And then not wanna talk about it,
but keep bringing it up.
I did wanna get into the thing.
I'm like, why are you doing that?
Oh, what do you mean?
I always flip a coin. I did want to get into those balls for a while. You know the big,
they look like big marbles that guys like the Buddhist things. Yeah, the Buddhist things. I wanted
to get into those for a little while. Sit there and think. You ever run around?
McDonald's are burger king McDonald's are burger because Lawrence Fishburn used them in
boys in a hood. I always thought that was real cool. You would just sit there
contemplate yeah contemplates it's all over some stuff. I ain't nothing to them all over now
Did you did you ever run around were you ever a toothpick guy?
No, we weren't toothpick guys, but we were I tried as a kid
As a kid is okay. I was a pocket knife guy too as a kid for a while in the early 2000s
My brother got into the Australian toothpicks the ones that have like tea tree oil on them
We were rocking those for a little bit not cooler. I don't know what that is, but that's not
Just trying to import a personality
Yeah, man, yeah, cuz you know that's getting shot. Oh wait, you got a toothpick where you did earlier now
He's a formal Australia. You're really shoving that in. Yeah, wait, you got a toothpick where you did it earlier. Nah, he's a formal Australia.
You're really shoving that in.
Yeah, I can't remember why.
When I was a little kid, I wanted to be a wheat in the mouth guy.
What?
You know, talking about straw hat.
No, like, was it the 1300s?
It was a little stalk.
Yeah.
Trying to rock that for a little bit.
It was just weeds, though, because there was no weed.
Why do you want to tell people that town was back that way? Where you want to go? As you tap on the roof of
their car? Oh, your law is, boy. I've always wanted to tell someone that someone's been
dead for 33 years. That has burned down.
Oh, man, I like, oh, as document, and I had a lot of those things that I thought were cool.
The devil sticks, fucking hacky sack.
I did a pocket watch for a couple of months.
Jesus Christ.
That's you, dude.
That's such a you, like I'm not even shocked.
That is a you thing.
You really like after college.
I like got one.
I want one for Christmas and I got one for Christmas.
I ain't no vest to put it in though.
Yeah, that's your problem.
That you can't tell time.
Zero shot, that thing was correct.
Yeah, sure.
Yeah.
On an Araka pocket watch.
I wish all that stuff would come back to us.
Just like serving breakfast in 30 minutes, we better go take my weed out. Good. Good. It's set of a picture of your sweetheart back home.
It's just a big man. Hey, she is walking around like fat as Bentley. It's a fonds worth
that. I knew that was going to play. That's a good, that's a good question. No, that is a big
determination. Sure. But I wouldn't be that's also the same thing as a Uno trashy. Yeah.
It's not classy. I always thought that was like smart people stuff.
That was always in like something like that with like a couple golf pencils and
stuff where they would write down their scores.
Well, you didn't have to keep scoring. Who know? It was just whoever got out.
I don't know, but with like all the other games.
Well, I think card games are traditionally classy.
A rummy. It takes skill, it takes time.
It's, you know,
we didn't even play life.
My cousins had life.
I thought that was the coolest thing ever.
Dude, that's that reminded me like Sierra,
I didn't get that.
That seemed like something you would play
in elementary school.
I'm getting married and shit.
I was like, having kids.
Buddy, get, put a dragon in here.
So, what are we doing?
Fuck.
I didn't understand that either. And I still don't. I hated it on the, the little people in I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man.
I'm a man.
I'm a man.
I'm a man.
I'm a man.
I'm a man.
I'm a man.
I'm a man.
I'm a man.
I'm a man.
I'm a man.
I'm a man.
I'm a man.
I'm a man.
I'm a man.
I'm a man.
I'm a man.
I'm a man.
I'm a man.
I'm a man.
I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a gonna say I'm being audited. What I hated it on the low
But I did always want to know how to play Dungeons and Dragons. I assume you were
Probably a champion. I'm a D&D man myself really that's from airhead shout out the air heads great movie very underrated movie
Did you play Dungeons and Dragons? I've been known to adventure. Yeah, really were you a magic?
I tried magic, but I couldn Yeah. Yeah. Really, were you a magic, I tried magic,
but I couldn't understand it.
No, just get it.
Two expensive, two expensive.
Two expensive, two expensive, and I didn't understand it.
Is it magic, like the stores where you go in,
they look like toys, there's like castles and figurines?
No, that's the game's workshop.
That'll do.
Man.
Those places work.
I wanted to take one of those home and just have at it.
Imagine a bunch of high 15 year old stumbling upon one of those
in the Franklin Mills Mall.
Yeah.
And the weirdos.
Did they make any money?
And the weirdos that work on there?
Really?
The figure ends are incredibly expensive.
Plus you got to buy the paints.
The paints, it's a whole thing.
Oh wait, the paint, do you have the paint on?
Do you have to paint it?
Yeah, get the fuck away.
The fun of it is, it's why I hated models.
Just give me the god damn thing.
I don't want to put it together.
It's never gonna look like on the box.
Well, yeah, you're not in it for model.
The people that are in it for that stuff
is they're in it for the making of it.
That's crazy.
The painting, put a new vest on them.
Gooberville, man, we laughed in this dude face.
I felt so bad.
You know when you're like, I'm being mean,
but this, he's like, this is Gleepblorp,
that king and a whatever,
and dude was like me, Pat and Vinnie with this skinny.
High as a cut, being like, what the fuck?
Dude, we went back and found our other buddies
like you gotta see these losers.
Times your mom picking you up, dude.
Man, it was rough.
I didn't get that and I didn't get the,
remember the like the revolutionary war,
soldier figurines that people would have?
No. You guys know what I'm talking about? They would paint them.
Similar vibes. I got damn fucking GI Joe.
I'm gonna really regret admitting this.
But so the game that they play games workshop is called Warhammer.
And there was a spin off of what they made a Lord of the Rings game.
And I played that one and I got all the figurines and I would paint them and the war hammered
Wait, you'd have to do all this shit just to play the game. Yeah, and what about like the castles and stuff because those things are pretty sweet
I'll just fit that in your scot of all the chicks you were begging
Making toys and how did you paint when you were stuffed in a locker wasn't the light really bad?
I did it by feel.
Yeah, it was really crazy.
All of the war hammer got dorks would make fun of us.
They were like, we were even lower on the toilet bowl.
Chatea is horrible.
But Dungeons and Dragons seemed like it was actually
kind of cool.
No, Dungeons and Dragons fun.
For a minute I got into about that.
I bred only one of the books.
It was called Dragons of Autumn Twilight. Do you know what I'm talking about? It was some like series
It was very similar to Dungeons and Dragons. It was like old timey shit. Nah like a god Lord of the Rings
Which I fucking love those movies sure there are the movies that they made that spent like
$400 million. Yeah, all right. They did okay. They're good stuff
Watch his name Vigo Mortensen.
God damn hero. Put it back in your pants. Well, you big guy.
All right, let's see. Great question. I just want to say great question.
Great question. Great question. Great question.
Did you guys play Simon? Nope. Moving on.
I'm kidding. You know, I'm talking about me.
Me. Me. Me.
Oh yeah really easy for five seconds then completely impossible.
I'm a Simon.
I think spazed out on you talking about fucking early AI thing had it in for you.
You didn't play that.
No I was I was after.
I was by you my time.
You know what else fucking give me gave me just made me sad light bright.
I loved light bright. I could never do it. I would just put all the say I had all that stuff.
Thrall weener. I was too stupid to do it. I didn't understand where to put the things. It didn't make any sense
But it was very comforting to have that on that was like that was like a nightlight for me with the different colors and stuff like that
I put it on my room
I think I didn't like mine because mine was you, like I got mine for my cousin.
It was like a hand me down.
It was like, it was a clown or something.
And it just fucking gave me the heebie.
I used to keep it in the laundry room.
I didn't like it anywhere near me or my other toys.
Wait, why the light bright?
Yeah, just fucking creeped me out.
We had giant speaking spell.
I was a big speaking spell kid.
You guys are probably too young for that.
Yeah, speaking spells sweet.
Is that explains why you talked to tax, saw your tax messages? No, you had to type it in
Oh, it's the reverse. Yeah, yeah, it wasn't you didn't say something we had that technology back then
We had them shuttles are blowing up in the sky fucking jammed up
Have that shit back there
Gonna hemmed up
We had what do you remember these?
You had spell master or wordmaster?
Do you remember those?
They were like, no, it sounds like the world's lamest Superman villain.
It's actually an eye instead of an e.
What's a super power?
He's kind of a dick spell master, wordmaster.
Teradactyl.
wordmaster
Teradactyls
It was a handheld spell checker for class like before
Computers and word processing mm-hmm. So like if you're like how do you spell
Dictionary mm-hmm you would hand they would give you like a fucking
Gameboy type thing and you would try to spell it out and it would correct it for you. Okay. So you're like writing in class or whatever.
Was it one of them?
You pass it around in class?
Yeah, it was called like spell master or game master or something.
Didn't they kind of give up on spelling?
Wasn't at a certain point they kind of just said, there's no points for spelling.
Why do I feel like I remember that at some point?
I don't think so.
They just kind of gave up on, you weren't going to lose points for spelling. Why do I feel like I remember that at some point? I don't think so. They just kind of gave up on, you weren't going to lose points for
spelling. That sounds like if you got held back, the entire school district was going
to get knocked for their life. Yeah. Like you were lowering the bell curve so much that
they were like, all right, guys, we can't, we can't lose our tater tots contract.
I could have swore that kind of, that kind of happened.
At some point, no points for spelling or something.
I think, I feel like I remember hearing it.
I remember in college, I feel like that was a thing.
Like the cool professors were like,
I don't care if there's a grammatic error
or a spelling error in a 15 page paper.
Like, it's more about your thoughts and the content
and the what, you know what I mean?
It's like, yeah, Hemingway didn't use any grammar. He was a god damn genius.
It was a drunken handoah.
Blu is brains out all over Key West, but he was a genius.
Him and them God damn cats. Anybody with that many cats is weird.
How dare you? You had their national treasure that man.
All right. This one's from Benjamin.
I've never thought about this, but how garbage is it to take your shoe off in public to
get a little rock out that's been bugging?
Man, you lose all confidence when you got to take your shoe off on the side wall.
Man, that's so funny.
You're like, oh, I always get a rock in my shoe.
Oh, he's like, Goddamn, rockies.
Especially my crocs.
I get them in that crocs.
Holy coming from all angles.
Jim you up man, there's something about you got a lean on something.
Take it off.
Give me a pack on.
Yeah.
I remember I did a play in college and I was supposed to have a limp in the thing.
And I'm trying to get back and acting.
It's the third time you plugged your resume.
But I was supposed to I was supposed to have a limp and I put a rock in my shoe. A real method.
It didn't hurt myself.
Ah!
I'm so glad.
God!
God!
God!
God!
God!
God!
God!
Damn it!
Gavry's a planner, Fashie.
I just need salesman number two.
Yeah.
I'm like that.
Dude, there's really here just need salesman number two. Yeah, I'm like that.
Dude, I really heard from like a couple of buds.
I came down on it hard.
Now, is anyone, because now you have a close circle of relatively aware people.
Me?
Who kind of chankin' out like you're kind of corraled
within your decision making now, a little bit.
In a mean of like, kinda.
You know how like you sometimes come in with a whine?
Sounds like an insult at some point.
No, no, no, no, not at all, not at all.
You're a creative man in some senses.
And you're like, you'll sometimes come in
and you're like, hey, I'm gonna do this. No, because I don't think that's a good idea. Who was checking you or you just kind of unchecked back in the day?
Because it wasn't until very recently that you started bowling with bumpers. Yeah
That's a great way to put it
What do you mean?
I don't know what you mean. You know how you have, now you have a sound.
But I'm taking this disrespect.
It's not.
It's not, I just want to,
well who was the inner circle previous to this inner circle?
Creatively?
Anything wise.
I don't know, I don't understand what you mean.
If you were gonna make a big decision in your life
when you were, let's say, 30, 27.
Uh huh.
Who were you sounding that off with?
Like what would be a big decision?
I don't know, but I mean.
Getting into pocket watches in the long coast.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Yeah, there was nobody.
All right, thank you.
Putting rocks in your shoes to be a better actor.
Moving to North Carolina.
All that shit.
Yeah, obviously nobody dickhead.
That's just his kid.
Fucking guy with rocks on his shoes
walking down one with the North Carolina with a pocket watch.
Fucking idiot.
A long coat on in the middle of the office.
Planting palm trees on the beach.
Yeah, now.
Okay.
I mean, I did have some people that made fun of me pretty heavily.
I know their numbers, I'd like to talk to them.
I had a roommate that they used to make fun of me pretty heavily for for music and stuff like that. Yeah.
I feel like you're talking about me. He's over the years we lived together. He's
never roommate. I filled my creative big head man scaped man. Sk man scaped is Italian for keeping it and that's a clean
You know what I'm saying gang it's the holiday season people are gonna be open in presence if you know what I mean
People get loose under that missile though get that egg noggin and you don't want them to be like yikes
What the hell is that? Mm-hmm so clean them up and freshen them up everything you need they got over there at man scaped
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Yeah, no one's getting that.
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or milk or have my cheesecake.
Oh, you're a hooch.
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There's a kids playing whittling or whatever.
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Back to the show. This one's from Josh, $10 homie, haven't had one red yet. Shout out to you.
There you go. Is it garbage if my family started going to Ponderosa steakhouse after watching
news coverage of the DC sniper shooting that happened at one of them. Delicious pop, by the way,
RIP Ponderosa. I mean, I think, by the way, RIP, Ponderosa.
I mean, I think it's well documented how I feel about Ponderosa.
I don't think I know, I don't think I've never even been.
You're crazy, there was one right up the street from us
and we would go as kids, like 10 of us.
And they're closed now?
Yeah, and get like two plates.
Was it a buffet style?
Yeah, it was a legendary buffet.
Really, they're all closed. Oh, and I'm not
sure about that. Toby would have to give a Google on that. They might be maybe one or two
or hanging around. There's always one or two lingering around somewhere, but they were
they were incredible. Yeah, they're still banging. Are they really? Yeah. I would love
to go to that. Well, this looks like it's in someone's house though. That might not be. That's just a page.
That's literally like a, yeah, that's not.
That's why I began my love affair with ranch dressing.
Was that a ponderosa?
Really?
Yeah.
Yeah, we never did that.
It was always Italian at my parents.
Italian in the, in the,
Wishbone.
Yeah, and the clear shaker.
And that was the first time we kind of got wind of ranch.
A salad with tomatoes and a bunch of cheddar cheese and some black olives and ranch dressing.
Sure.
With a fucking thing, a chocolate pudding just slapped on the side.
Let's go.
Love them.
They were great.
There's a bunch banging really.
Got to hit one of those. Um, I, we were a very, and I think this comes from like my mom being poor and then,
you know, having something like she didn't want to be poor.
We were, we never went to a buffet ever.
And looking back, now that what I know about her, I think it was a very like, we are not,
we do not need to do this.
We are not, I can afford to buy my children
food.
Same exact thing with my family.
That's crazy.
Never want to.
It's a good value.
I'm not saying it's not.
I'm, listen, you're, I'm not shitting on it or shitting, I'm saying, I think my mom
was very weird with stuff like that.
You're ready to go to work for the buffet.
Jesus, I'm not saying buffets aren't good.
I ate it one last week.
I'm just saying, I think when you go, my mom was last week. I'm just saying, I think my mom was very,
like, hey, I don't need to go to a buff,
it was like an emotional thing for her.
I do, I remember I went to I-
I prefer your ponderosa.
A buffet.
I love a buffet.
I love a buffet.
Because I can get the fact kid food
that you can't order all at once.
What was the buffet?
Where else are you gonna get spaghetti in general,
South chicken?
That's what I'm saying.
And not fucking not feeling like I play with some bullshit
vegetables, I don't want.
General South chicken and mashed potatoes
is a little bit of mac and cheese.
At a fucking smash on fries on there.
So good.
Maybe it's like a slice of zah.
Where was the buffet on the cruise?
It's like you're tearing down the borders of the world.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, I'm the whole piece of it.
It should be man as long as that country's America.
Cause it's all hamburgers, hot dogs, french fries, a pizza.
Cause I just saw a thing on Instagram,
it was one of the homies sent it to me about Wendy's buffet,
which was like $3.
And they had-
I don't remember, man.
I was bad.
Mexican food, they had Italian, and then they had a salad bar
and man that was crazy.
And a baked potato station I believe.
So good.
So yeah, remember that.
I feel like I remember the baked potato.
I feel like that's all I ever saw at the one.
There was only one Wendy's in my area.
I'm pretty sure it's still banging.
What was the, where was the buffet on the cruise that you didn't tell me about?
Where you got people.
I didn't tell it.
I didn't not tell you about it.
You guys purposely withheld that information from me.
No, we didn't.
You went there without me.
You had a show.
Me and Big J went.
Okay.
Yeah, I didn't not tell you.
You left to go to a show.
Me and J lost all of our money at the Black Jacket table.
What they had was nice.
We said nice stuff our face with hamburgers.
Was it nice?
It was pretty good. I think I did some
I definitely get some fries they get it a hot dog fries
Couple slices of pizza
That's like that's whack. What what are you doing? It wasn't that great. Oh, okay. I mean like
It depends when you hit it to I was also fucking
Probably 20 beers deep at that point. I'm not looking for fucking chicken teacum salad or something.
You know what I mean?
I would decide a match potato.
I needed something to sober up.
Everything should be over match potatoes.
Kind of putting that down now.
So nice, little plate, pour whatever it is over top.
Do you know what's really good?
Spaghetti sauce over like a meat sauce over match potatoes?
Instead of spaghetti.
I can see that kind of like a shepherd's pie.
Yeah, yeah.
That's how my aunt did shepherd's pie.
It was with it was a red sauce.
Red sauce long as fuck.
Yeah, it's a red sauce.
That's how she did spaghetti.
What with potatoes?
It was mashed potatoes basically like a meat spaghetti sauce and cheddar cheese over
top.
Ooh, shout out to my mom. My, uh, my in-laws are in town from Germany and her dad is a great cook.
He does a goulash, little fucking knock your socks.
Daddy does a goulash.
But they make, he home makes these, uh, they call them dumplings or like,
I think in German it's like canoodles or something like that.
Canoodla and dude, it's like, I don't know what it is.
It's like flour, potato something and- Are they almost like little tortellinis? No, it's like, I don't know what it is. It's like flour, potato, something and they almost like little tour of the leanies.
No, they're like, uh,
Polish do something like that called goamki,
which is really clean it up.
Sounds like a bad case of swamp ass.
I got goamkies.
Uh,
pretty good.
German canoodle.
Yeah, it's these German bread dumplings.
Let me see.
Now, I don't know that man, they're fucking.
Fantame.
Oh, he makes them fucking homemade.
He's in there, German it up the kitchen.
Oh, man, and then he fucking take like two or three of those,
put them on the plate.
We fry them up a little bit.
Heart, he can get a little crust on them.
And fucking a big spoonful of gouache.
Pitch your mom walks in there singing America the Beautiful.
I trust his uncle Sam.
It's not fireworks.
Clean that shit up.
I got a pizza coming.
All right, this one's from T-bonecams.com. Shout out to you.
First time, long time.
Canadian shareholder here.
There you go.
Shout out to our friendly neighbors in the North.
Is it garbage to use a shop vac in your apartment?
Nothing is left behind.
As the vacuum?
Yeah.
They're pretty good.
They're good, but they're not.
Here's the problem. They're not mobile that way. they're clunky. They're clunky to use and they're not
Detailed. They're like they're like it's like using a fucking
Abom instead of a sniper rifle here's the problem with that if ever and any time that shop back was used to clean up
drywall
That that dust is gets everywhere. Yeah, you ain't lying and they're brutal to clean and drywall. Oh, that, that dust is. Gets everywhere.
Yeah, you ain't lying.
And they're brutal to clean.
And you're getting sick.
Sure.
When you clean that, you're getting a fucking sinus infection.
Sure.
I got one at the house now.
No, it's having, they're always missing a wheel.
Yeah, they're always fucked up.
And then you drag them, the hose isn't long enough,
the cord's not long enough, it's like,
hose pulls out, you fucking lose it.
Oh, man, it sucks.
But a fresh one.
That's the type of dude who like someone spills a drink and he goes check it out, shop
back, wet and dry, you know what I mean?
We have a we have a Dyson man and I tell you, it's it's crazy how good this thing is.
Yeah, it's great nuts.
And it's real low too.
Like it doesn't make a lot of noise.
Yeah, it's real slow.
Yeah. Man, I remember we got our
sucker nose hairs out. We got our basement refinished at my mom's at Denise's house, you know,
fucking, uh, it's probably like 2000 or so. This is probably the third time we had it finished.
I think we got it. My uncle then was doing it for a long time. And I think he like picked
up another job or like the ran out of money or like did the ran out of money or something,
we ran out of money or the divorce had something happen
where it was partially finished.
And then it kept flooding, bad sum pump kept flooding.
And then we finally were like,
dude, we had this,
they got this carpet installed.
It was like baby shit brown.
It was the whole basement was that color.
And it was like waterproof or something,
where if you spilled, you could just like vacuum it up
with the shop vac.
God, I wasn't good for your skin.
Dude, we had a party and we got the carpet done
like minutes before the party.
Like that was like the end date.
We got to get a,
yeah, family party or you and your friends.
No, family party.
Okay.
I was 12 or 13 or whatever,
where everyone's coming over.
So when the whole, it might have been like Christmas or something
We were hosting it that year so it's like a hundred people like 60 kids running around the whole nine yards and man
I was showing off that you could just spill water. Oh, I remember I was just dumping coke on the road
Feel like it's okay. You back you met up my mouth. What the fuck are you doing?
Carpets are like three hours old. I did that to my dad's new car with a
blizzard one time. A blizzard. Oh, I see him in the storm cycle.
Oh, Jesus Christ. Now the the ad campaign for blizzards at Dairy Queen was
they were so thick. You turn it upside down. And I did that in August
afternoon. I did it. My dad's car, man, I talk about ruining this poor guy
someday. He's just trying to take his kids again. I jam him up. I did it. My dad's car, man. I talk about ruining this poor guy Sunday. He's just trying to take his kids again. I
James him up. I remember being in the parking lot of 7-11 and him cleaning it out.
Just fucking losing it. Plus I was out that God damn blizzard.
Yeah, they weren't going back. I was trying to be a fucking hot shot.
The back.
Did either of you guys ever have the the anti-stain pants? Same thing where the
water would beat off?
No.
What the fuck?
That's the terror welder.
Who's talking about?
I remember like docker's a lot of race car driver.
Yeah.
Stain were tormented.
I had them and I remember I remember pouring water
on my bed.
Why?
Because the beans right off.
But why would you get them?
Because I'm better than everyone else.
Dude, I'm stain proof everyone else to on stain proof.
That's crazy.
Fuck.
I don't like that material against my son.
So when the bullies dumped the lunch on his head, I wouldn't ruin his pants again.
Joe Tangu.
My mother stain proof my pants.
This is my third wedgie of today.
I have you now.
Um, yeah, well, like a lot of those in the toot that came out with that stuff.
Like the dockers and all that had the shirts that, you know, you can like fucking, but it's
like a film on it.
It's not.
Dockers, suck.
I don't know.
I don't think I have.
Dockers suck too.
They never.
I don't mean to disparage it.
Great.
I made a brand.
It's huge in the crotch. I felt like the crotch was like two feet long
with down on my knees.
I feel like they were either meant for guys
in a real good shape or for guys that were,
that were definitely going over the gut.
Yes.
You were going over the gut.
I don't disagree with that.
That's why I feel like there was so much space
in the, in the hip area.
And the pleats, mate.
I couldn't figure any of that out of why my pants didn't look like Michael J. Foxes when he wore like a pair of tan pants on
TV what it was and I could never figure it out and then slowly you realize well your mom is a crease going straight down the middle and
They're pleated pleated that's where they're like ribbing. Yeah at the waist at the top
Like a daddy resuits. Yeah, it's sock. Well, it's that's kind of coming back again That's where they're like ribbing at the waist at the top. Like adding a suit.
Yeah, it's suck.
Well, it's that's kind of coming back again, but for a long time, it wasn't.
The flat front was and I same thing I didn't know.
I think it was in college or something.
I like the flat front, just regular khakis.
Of course.
I had a pair from Old Navy that were awesome, wore them forever to rip in the crutch.
I showed up to a job.
Usually having ended up.
I showed up to a job interview with a pair of slack pleated gray slacks.
Because I didn't have a suit.
So I just do pleated gray slacks.
There were club room for Macy's probably like 1999 club rooms.
All right.
I had a couple of club room shirts for my own.
The lower level real class.
It's the no, it's not.
It's the lowest level with the little scissors and sewing kid on there.
I don't know club room. That's not good club foot, maybe
Club halfway in the country club with those things now club room is hankering for a turkey club in a bloody Mary
Is the lowest level of mace of the mace these brands. I think it's club a club room
I and see never heard of that was that was for fucking I used to like alfini alf no so this is what I want alfini
that's a big alfini guy me and my brother had a couple of alfini button downs
short sleeves sounds like a kid you grew up with shout out the alfini ladies
gentlemen the youngest of the Fini boys can't run over by a deer. Hahaha. Dude, the alfini benefit.
It went club room.
Alphie, I forgot about.
I knew I was missing one.
We thought we were wearing Italian.
You couldn't tell me shit.
Me, while I was probably made in Vietnam.
That material was all right.
I had a corduroy blazer.
Alphini, man.
I got it on my corduroy blazer.
I got it on my, I looked like Mr. Fini, dude.
Mr. Matthews.
Fid, corduroy blazers, the dumb look.
And then I had an arg, I think I might have meant,
I had an arg, I spent all my money on this to wear what,
it was on a mannequin when I was working at Macy's
and I was like, I gotta be that guy. Dude, I bought the Argyle sweater, black Argyle sweater, and I had to call it the white
collar shirt under it.
And a flask full of Canadian mist, I bet.
No, I went to a, like a dive bar called Lucy's, it was on second and market.
I showed up and everybody was like, what?
Wait, why, why would we dress up?
I thought I was, that's what you did
I remember this older cool dude made fun of me heavy
Yes, an older rich guy was like, oh, I love this or something like rolled his eyes and walked in
I had boot cut boot cut
Express jeans on with like with like designs on the on the pockets.
Ooh, good pair of Jordan ashes.
Showing off that each.
Yeah, man, it was it was a rough.
So you're dressed like a teacher.
Then boy like a TA.
Yeah.
Yeah, I was so we shadow in the teacher for the day.
Man, you know, was a tough look.
The short sleeve or the no sleeve sweater.
The sweater vest.
No, but not buttoned.
There was no buttons.
Wait, say that again?
Short, it was a sweater, V-neck, but no sleeves.
Sweater vest.
That's a sweater vest.
I thought a sweater vest had to have the buttons.
No, no.
That would be a sleeveless cardigan.
That would be a sleeveless cardigan.
Which I don't think exists.
The sleeveless cardigan. Cut that, let's get on that. Yeah, noveless cardigan. That'd be a sleeveless. I don't think it exists. The sleeveless cardigan. Cut that. Let's get on that.
Yeah, no, a cardigan. Cardigan buttons. Uh-huh. I had those pictures of me in a
fucking thinking it was cool. I had the long. I wore cardigans. I had these Kurt Cobain.
I wore them all the time. No, I'm talking sweater vests. Oh, I had the long white t-shirt
under it and an old Navy fucking sweater vest man
There was these two cool kids down the shore when I when I was going when I was oh yeah, all right now
I know you thought that's all right that was the same time
It was cool to have keys on a lanyard sure
Ben M. Bad boys around to treat because there was guys know what's up
There was guys that could just pull this off. Yeah, it wasn't us. And you thought that it looked cool on them.
Like the way Brad Pitt dressed in Fight Club.
Like sure.
There was, when I was a freshman,
there was a senior, this guy, Andreas Gainer.
He was literally like a god.
He was built like an Avenger.
And he used to wear like the Adidas sweatpants,
but like the satin ones with like a sweater.
And man, this guy could pull it the fuck off.
Yeah, and you just think, yeah, he does it.
Why can't I do it?
He didn't realize.
And he ended up looking like Mr. Feeney.
Yeah, that's the problem.
Dude, he's named after back flips going forward.
Yeah, that's the coolest guy.
Shout out to the coolest name ever.
Yeah.
And to do a half-gainer out the window.
It's the first time I ever heard the term gainer.
It was working with the East of LA cars
at Toyota dealership and there was a retired fire fighter.
And we're like, hey, you ever have to jump out a window?
You just one time I had to do a half-gainer out the window.
I was like, damn, what the fuck?
This old man's talking about, but he sounds like a band.
Did a half-gainer out the window.
She's sweatin' rest of the cool.
Hahaha.
It's a nice, look complete, son.
But I remember showed up in pleats
and I remember looking, everybody was dressed,
I think it was like my brother, my cousins,
I got some good looking dude cousins
who dress real nice, right?
You know, like fashion forward,
my brother was one of those guys,
and I remember sitting there,
I looked like an accountant,
and they were, you know, model-esque,
might as well been compared to me.
And I remember looking, I'm like,
what the, why don't I look that cool?
And I was scanning their pants, and I get the mind, dude.
I got like seven pleats in the front,
look at how goddamn pirate, dude.
It was fucking horrible.
Dude, that outfit that you
piece together for that Hail Mary job was, it was sink or swim. Oh, and general, general.
Just in general. Uh-huh. When you were like, wait in tables, when you tried to put on,
when you scraped something together from your dad and your brother and your cousin and
this one, just to try to just let me flush this down one time. Let me look okay.
I'll never get jammed up again. You know what I would do a lot when I didn't, I didn't and this one just to try to just let me flush this down one time. Let me look okay.
Never get jammed up again.
You know what I would do a lot when I didn't have a suit.
Like I had these brown club or these brown,
these gray club room pants.
I had a button up like a plain white button up.
Fucking yellow ass ring around the neck, you know what I mean?
And a tie and I would wear I had like a old Navy or like a gap.
Sure, I kind of like this, but a P-coat.
You know, like those black short length P-coats that are,
like a regular just black and I would wear that,
try to fool them that that's like my,
oh, I'm not wearing a suit, but this kind of looks,
I was outside, meanwhile.
Keep your winter coat on for the whole interview.
Yeah, I'm all July, I'm like, it's missing, yeah.
Man, I know, I never felt comfortable in that stuff.
In the winter, you were always freezing.
Cause it all got, the air got in there.
And it was so thin, that material.
You so goddamn thin, it's like gabberdene.
We wore something like that.
We were both kind of dressed like that when we did that Christmas show,
right before we moved up here.
I was dressed, exactly.
I was wearing those club room pants, a white button up a tie and that jacket.
Talk about a Hail Mary.
The whole ship would have been sank if I didn't get that jacket.
I know.
But look at us now, boy.
There you go.
Uh, I owe the pleated pants we want.
They're coming back.
And that's the problem we can't do.
I know.
I know.
Like you were just saying, I went to H&M when I was in the mall, everything's like cool guy,
hip baggy cut.
And I look like a schlub when I got to go to tight clothes.
Old Navy, the epicenter of dorkdom to get my pants.
You know it's true.
That's not true.
It is old.
Maybe it's never once been cool ever dude
It's not no, but nobody knows they're old Navy
Of course and old Navy jeans are comfortable and great and affordable. He's not shitting on them
We are by he taking offense to all these weird things that shitting on them. He's now literally hundreds of thousands of people
Yeah
I can't wait for the next live show sweet old Navy's dude. Oh
What would be cool?
Lockies I got lucky second lucky's on now. I don't know. I asked the I asked the guy in the the guy in the stock room
Had real cool pants. You're hanging out back there
Not the soccer the change room the change
What do you mean and he started he started he got his head under share what are those he started? He worked an old Navy Change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your change your I pretended like I wrote it down, but I was like, I'll never go. I'm not cool enough. Sure. There's like, there's an apostrophe in it or something.
Oh, I'm out.
Yeah, it was like, it was like, like, she-
Yeah, I got the old babies.
Oh, caps, all right.
Gap was, I don't know what they are now, but back in the day, they were the epitome of
cool.
They're still, I mean, they're not, they still hold their, for like, they're basic, for
like, they're a gap button fly jeans.
Look out.
Yeah.
Lean in up.
Did I give you that pair that remember I gave you that pair of expensive gap jeans the selvage denim.
Yeah, remember that. Yeah, I got this. They almost were like waterproof. They had like that.
Selfage denim stick. Yeah, it's like it was Japanese selvage denim and I got them on sale. They were like 80 bucks or something.
Man, you couldn't tell me shit. And then I lost weight and gave him to you.
Yeah, I fit in them for about two weeks.
Man, but he wore them.
He probably slept in those things.
He was showing up, putting his show in a mall
and he salvaged that.
Because that was the first pair of jeans
that I had that were cuffed at the bottom.
They were pre-cuffed and they had that red.
They salvaged, has that red little line on the edge.
They look real nice sitting on top of a pair of sneakers.
Yes.
Yes.
Look at how we're going to be paying that we don't have to share pants no more.
You've been away a long time.
We don't share pants.
No.
We've been working real hard for a long time.
We don't have to share clothes.
Sometimes we do.
Sometimes we do.
Just to feel close to each other.
Still.
All right. Let's see here. Sometimes we do just a few close to each other.
All right, let's see here.
This is from Dick Picks and Ozempics. Shout out to you.
$10.
Jump.
Can you open a door?
$6.10.
Jump.
Could you open a door with a credit card right now if you need it to?
With that question.
With that question.
Really?
I lived in an apartment in Chicago for
Five years didn't have a key for maybe two of them no shit. Yeah back door
Who's right in baby, but it's really dependent upon the door and 100% depends upon the door
Most of the doors now they've figured that out. There's like a lip the door has to close
Towards the outside. It can't open out has to open in so that you can get behind it and pull
Well, if you want to get behind it and pull you have to cut the card and so that you can slip it over and pull it
But most of the time you just wanted to slap it in let's write that because the one side of the thing
It's sloped. Yeah, you have to slide it in. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, an interior door forget I get through that like butter
Remember I know for us it was big,
I guess because it was like,
when we moved to Bucks County,
there was a lot of newer construction.
So like all the door locks that were on top of the door jam,
did you have that?
All the door locks.
So like, in like new homes, right?
You know how like an interior like a bedroom door?
Yeah.
Just has like a little hole on it to unlock it
Yeah, you can put it with with the with the money pinner. Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course well when all those houses were built
They put all the there's like an actual key for that. Yeah, they put it up top up
They leave it there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and finding that as a kid
Be like I know where one is fucking at the jump up or get a chair fucking pop it open get your parents doing it
Get out of here
You said it with beds. She was wearing her fucking leggings. What do you want from it?
Well, we got to wrap it up gang gang. I'm gonna tell you this right now
I'm gonna tell the two is don't tell me nothing. We love you to death and we'll see you next week
Please
We love you to death and we'll see you next week