Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Fighting a Teacher w/ Kippy & Foley

Episode Date: June 22, 2023

Are You Garbage is back with Kippy and Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. Its a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live ...show! NEW MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/hfoleycomedy/ Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/ PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage Helix Sleep: https://www.helixsleep.com/Garbage Box of Awesome: https://www.BoxOfAwesome.com Promo Code: GARBAGE Mint Mobile: https://www.MintMobile.com/GARBAGE Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Stop the ice cream truck gang. We got a little bit of an announcement on the state trashy door. Still a few ticks left for that second show over there in Redback, New Jersey scooped up before they're gone and you can get everything where, Kippy. At RUGarbys.com gang, we got a bunch of merch over there. We got a lot of cool t-shirts. They're moving off the shelves. We got zip-o style lighters. Get them said style, not actual zip-o style. All contractual thing. At RUGarbys.com gang, check it out. Thanks for the support we love you. Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Gobbage? The show where you find
Starting point is 00:00:35 out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts Kevin Ryan and H Foley. Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's new favorite podcast. This is our You Garbage. Hey, yeah. So I will show you sit down with your favorite comedians and we find out that you're up to be classy.
Starting point is 00:00:57 Yeah. It is the big old piece of trash. Trash, trash, trash. I'm your host H Foley coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tuddy's in the new edition. She's upstairs just watching a little TV. Okay, she's just relaxing. Taking it easy.
Starting point is 00:01:11 No trouble, no nothing. Just chilling, doing her things. It's good. Smoking a little doobie as she does. Yeah, of course. A couple of Ls, little people's forpey. A couple of Ls, little smog. She's smoking blunts. Tuddy smokes blunts now.
Starting point is 00:01:22 In the living room. Okay. Yeah, man, a house he smokes blunts in the living room. Okay. Yeah, man a house that smokes blunts in Mike Oho's is coming at you from across the table. He is the CEO of our you garbage international business man He was feeding me shots last night head dough done all hungover. Yeah, I wanted to have a quiet night Quiet dinner you showed up with a beer helmet on what are you talking about? Fucking guy you're a booze bag. Don't blame it it on me out with that Chris O'Connor last night Boozon sure yikes
Starting point is 00:01:48 Give it up for KJ Kevin James Ryan what up gang thanks for tuning in as always Please make sure you rate review subscribe on iTunes full video available on YouTube as you know those numbers are true to roof over 150,000 subs shut up to the fucking army of garbage, baby. Love you. Come and correct. That's what I'm talking about. And obviously, the greatest guy's starting website of all time, www.patrion.com. Slash are you garbage? You sign up over there, you can get up to two bonus episodes a week, you can get all fucking plethora of videos we've dropped. We dropped poor videos, the indie thing, the crib,
Starting point is 00:02:20 the this, the that, the thud. Disney. Everything's on there. It's all in there. Check it out, gang. Absolutely. Having a Everything's on there. It's all in there. Check it out, gang. Absolutely. We have a nice quick shout out to our producer extraordinaire.
Starting point is 00:02:28 The magic man makes us all look good. Works the ones, works the twos, the threes, and the fours, crosses the tees, dots, the eyes. Give it up for T-bone, McScruffins, Toby McMollan, everybody. Hey, what up boys? What up T-bone? Hey, pal.
Starting point is 00:02:40 Now the dude, talk about smoking blunts inside is something that used to make me feel so comfortable Oh, and now makes me so uncomfortable, dude I feel like I'm in danger when there's blunts in the car a little bit of weed smells nice I like it a little bit Floating around it just takes me back to all those memories I had of sitting on like a dirty couch and some fucking dirt bag. Sure. There's seeds and stems all over. There's a razor blade on the coffee table.
Starting point is 00:03:08 Oh, yeah. That caught dude, a fucking stoner. Couple loose pistachios, shows. Yeah. A stoner's coffee table is something else. There's rez all over something that like a pen. You try to just write, take a number down with a pen. There's rez all over and shit.
Starting point is 00:03:22 Somehow it was worse when you went to your dealer's house and you just cleaned up. It's still like look Feels like a sting Yeah, that ain't good man. Yeah, it just takes me back. You're sitting on a couch like four other people of Own before that person sure it was you know, Gary. One large missing. This is Gary's grandma. She got it from, you know, whoever. Yeah, I hated it. So now when I go, if I'm in a house like that, it just takes me back to like a, you know, not a great time.
Starting point is 00:03:54 Sure. I used to get so, so paranoid because I didn't, I didn't realize, I didn't realize until much later in life that you just take one little hit. You'd be all right. He used to take it right to the head. Mm-hmm I've ever sitting in the back of my buddy Charlie station wagon. We cut school. We were smoking doobies And we were just parked in a neighborhood and I had a fucking mask like let's get the fuck out of here the cops We're coming I dude the first time he did it first time his move to eat
Starting point is 00:04:20 Fucking there might be like the second or third time. I don't think I got high the first time They say you don't yeah, I don't think I got high the first time. They say you don't. Yeah, I don't remember. I don't honestly, if we weren't fucking, we didn't have any fucking kind, but I know that much. Just fucking mostly seats, couple of shwiggins, you know what I mean? But the first time I was at a kid's house and he's like, yeah, we got like a $25 ath from this kid. He had it. That's good money right there.
Starting point is 00:04:43 We're sleeping over. I'm sleeping over his house. He's like, yeah, I smoke weed all the time $25 ath from this kid. He had it. That's good money right there. We're sleeping over I'm sleeping over his house. He's like, yeah, I smoke weed all the time. I'm like, okay, cool Then we get something and it's gonna be like, you know, we get there and we're down the basement I'm sleeping down the basement and his dad came in and turned the lights off. He's like lights out at 10 At 10 p.m. I'm fucking like dude. I'm like, I'm fucking he's supposed to sneak out and smoke weed It's like a fucking it's like sholshank in here Do you strip it over a can of paint? Yeah
Starting point is 00:05:08 Fucking rough hang no TV where if junior high no TV after 10. I was like dude call my mom Get me the fuck out of here this sock. God damn news is coming on Have get to knees before her third glass of wine. I got this in the Lennon's monologue, cause of you. Uh-huh, fuck that. I stayed at a buddy's place in Ridgewood, New Jersey. Ooh, they had a bong on the coffee table in the living room and the mom came in and was like, you kids want snacks?
Starting point is 00:05:36 I was like, this is a set up. Yeah, no, you guys are fed. Hey, Toby, you smoke drugs, right? Or what? Hmm, yeah. We know what? Yeah. We had one strict dad. There was one dad that was really, really strict. Sure.
Starting point is 00:05:50 It was like ex-military, like ex-air force. You just sleep with his eyes open. It was that guy. Yeah, not as this creep me in. Oh, dude. Um, nuts. Yeah, my dad didn't care. I think my dad knew everything that was happening.
Starting point is 00:06:03 You know what I mean? It would be like I Was getting the no drinking and driving talk before I even had a car. You know what I mean? It was like okay, if you just don't drive. I'm like all right Me while he's got a fucking He's got a rolling rock between his legs Cut out jean shorts and a rock shore. There's family members you still let them bar your car if there's a show Whatever and then like you're fucking you get the car back you take a hard turn you're clanking up to the seat
Starting point is 00:06:33 I'm like what the fuck? Jim and me I get pulled over I'm 16. It's fucking open containers floating around the back seat. The gun on any of the seats. There's a body in the trunk. I can't don't touch that. Yeah, it was, yeah, those were those weren't great days. Just like fucking no feet. You know, you're just thinking about getting weed. That's all you ever thought. You know, I mean, like, who, how can we get a bag? Who's around? Yeah, well,
Starting point is 00:07:02 Follies got a full proof plan for throwing the cops off his scent now. What's that? He just puts those glasses on. I think they're one of him. Oh, yeah, those are real cop glasses. Or fucking, I called you Dr. Fieldgood earlier. Those are, you're on either side of the wall with those things. He's in my fighter pilot.
Starting point is 00:07:21 You're either coming or going, yeah. Right. Fucking Maverick. Key You're either coming or going, yeah. Right. Fucking Maverick. Key loads her 15. Yeah, bro. If you're the only pilot you're doing is under the radar and those things. When I wear these at baseball hat and Hawaiian shirt,
Starting point is 00:07:35 I was thinking I'm working for the company. Not gonna over some government in Nicaragua. Not gonna over a vending machine. I got a little something I wanted to, last night. Last night, we, oh, also too, they've been talking about it, the stuff Island boys that you brought them up, we were out there last night with Chris O'Connor having a two tree pops. Oh, God damn.
Starting point is 00:07:57 And I forgot, we never made public, but they have, I have a bet with him. Yeah. About going down the shore. Where we're going down the shore. Going down the shore. We got a shore house with the stuff Island boys are gonna go down hang out for a week, hold on.
Starting point is 00:08:10 Yes, we are. And I bet him, I bet O'Connor says he can do, he could do the Charles thing. He can learn the Charles thing. He can learn the dance the Charles thing. It's never danced before, I don't know, he dances a wedding or anything. That kid's fucking psycho.
Starting point is 00:08:24 And I don't think he's got any rhythm in him. I don't know, but it's $1,000 bet. I thought it was five hundred. I, we were really drunk. We made this a couple of weeks ago. We were. It was five grand. No, he doesn't owe me anything.
Starting point is 00:08:38 He just has to buy my beers for the week. Okay. Like when we're out, like he's got to cover my drinks. But the bet is. If he does it, you got to give him a G-H like he's got to cover my drinks. But if the bet is if he does it, you got to give him a G-Hod. I got to give him a G-Hod. I might even be 1500 or two. I forgot. We were fucking Jesus. Asafied. And so here's the deal when he gets to the house, he's not allowed in until he does the dance. We'll have a boom box play in the song of his the Charles. Yeah and then yeah, and then everybody I even took myself out of his nice guy and I go
Starting point is 00:09:11 I won't be the one who decides if it's Good not that the you guys will sure you guys decide if what he did qualifies as the Charles did I don't know what the hell the Charleston right? Yeah, I don't think you need to because he ain't gonna do it. It doesn't matter. He's got two left feet. She's got a dance teacher. Why? So I can lose money?
Starting point is 00:09:31 Why am I going to get him a dance teacher? He's got to learn it. He said the other day, he goes, I was practicing in the shower. I'm like, he's going to show up in a cast, dude. Oh my god. Okay. This is fucking easy money. Speaking of which, I've gotten to the age
Starting point is 00:09:46 where that's on my mind now. Slip it in the bathroom or slip it in the tub. I just put the strips down, cause I almost fucking, my wife bought some honey soap or something, dude. That's, it turns into a goddamn slip and slide that. I feel like the broads in there washing with vegetable oil. Yeah, fucking dude.
Starting point is 00:10:04 Man. For, fucking dude. Man. We just put the strips down. But so last night, what is the, what's the etiquette on eating in an Uber? We talk about on a plane. Obviously, draw, obviously I had about 18 drinks in me. Last night. Yeah. Yeah. Also, I left you at the bar
Starting point is 00:10:26 Which was a rare what time did you leave there? Maybe like an hour after that. Whoa that was late Because I went to be out of there by midnight and I looked at my I hit a fucking black hole at time because I looked at my Phone it was like 15. I'm like I get the black out of here. I was hurting. Yeah, I was hurting But what's can you eat in an Uber and should you ask? Yeah, you should ask, but you shouldn't what what were you eating? And you just had pizza there. I had a slice of pizza there and a couple in the car No, really? I was gonna do pizza, but then I was like I can't get him with like a fucking penny vodka slice I'm fucking stinking up this dude's fucking car. He's ramen in the bag.
Starting point is 00:11:05 He's got chopsticks up there. It's a duck saw situation. I couldn't bring myself to do it. So I did pop by the fucking that 7-Eleven right there. Sure. Which is, I mean, that's crazy. That's like a demilitarized zone in there. That's nuts.
Starting point is 00:11:26 Dude, I opened up all of the refrigerator. I try to get a fucking cold water to go to night night with. Open up the refrigerator. It's like 95 degrees in the whole, everything was hot. I was drinking a hot gatorade on the wall. On the ride of, dude, it's hot. A warm gatorade. I had that in some pretzels.
Starting point is 00:11:44 I ate pretzels. You can eat pretzels. I a pretzels That's you can eat pretzels pretzels. All right pretzels is okay. I think but you should ask I didn't I just I'm like, well, you're gonna you know, let me eat pretzels. I've popped a beer in the back one. Whoa That was I've asked when I first moved to New York And I was a uber black too. They like yeah, I mean, yeah. Yeah. Fucking jerk off of this thing. Hey, buddy, you don't want to turn around. You don't want to miss this. No.
Starting point is 00:12:10 Back in the day, you would get those, remember before Uber, you would get like the town cars, like the hired cars. And you would negotiate the price. You would go and be like, hey, we're, you know what, here, I got to go here, how much? And he'd go 40 bucks, you go 25, he goes there, if I didn't meet in the middle. They would, especially in the heights,
Starting point is 00:12:31 Dominican dude, they have, you get in a back seat with a 12 pack, they don't give a fuck. You get nine people in the back seat. Cook meth back there. Everybody's getting fucking turned up. Get the lab going. Yeah. I don't think, can you Google to see if,
Starting point is 00:12:43 what are the, is there a role of eating it in Uber? Yeah, it is not against Uber's terms of service to eat I Just Google it now I could say a few minutes ago. He's good I knew all right I thought you were speaking for an experience You taking this up to the Supreme Court I knew all right. I thought you were speaking for an experience. Like I got on the back. You taking this up to the Supreme Court?
Starting point is 00:13:09 Excuse me, sir. It's not new terms and conditions. And I've read them by the way. They, I don't think they like it. Yeah, I, I could imagine they're not fans. Yeah, but I don't know. You ever take the water in there if they offer you a water? That's a setup.
Starting point is 00:13:24 That's you're gonna fucking wake up with your underwear on backwards with that shit no fucking way, dude I ain't doing that. That's a fucking setup. I tell you my new Uber paranoia What's that when they have the cable for the phone? I never use it. It's gonna jack your info. Yes. Yeah, I don't think I don't think that Fuck Sorry, dude. Yeah, I thought that off. We're all nuts. I've thought that too. I do the same thing.
Starting point is 00:13:51 Sky. Let's start filming you in there, too. Yeah. Get you, it's all set up. They're gonna have your nudes installed. We'll be playing in the billboards at Times Square. Holy spread eagle. You'll need it to see it.
Starting point is 00:14:07 It's happy that they put a blow that thing up. Yeah. Okay. Well, now we know now you don't have to, you should ask, though. I think that is proper etiquette pretzels, though. It's not a big. That's not bad. I'm a dude smoking in cabs back in that day was great. I caught Philly. You could sketch heaters in the cab.
Starting point is 00:14:21 Yeah. And they would have one. Yeah. Can I smoke in here? I'll have one. Tell you. Sure. I just like do bugsers in the caps. Yeah, and they would have one. Yeah, Kai, smoking here, I'll have one. Tell you, by short, just like do buds, cruising around the kitchen heaters.
Starting point is 00:14:28 Hey, turn us up, will you? This is my jam. The cop comes by, hold it down, you know, problem. Rip in heaters. Remember doing whippets in the back of the cab one time. Okay. Going up the FDR. Out of what?
Starting point is 00:14:42 Ready what? Well, you were doing the- Not even real ones? Not even like the crackers? Just on your way to a cookout? I'm sorry the pie's all fucked up. I'm gonna wait home at the end of the night. Hurtin. Hurtin.
Starting point is 00:14:58 Looking for anything. Keep going, dude. I swear I have a credit card. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. That's got Buffalo Bill in the back seat. Man, you are a fucking fat person. You are something else, dude. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:19 Did you ask him at least, hey, buddy, is it cool if I do legal drugs in the back seat? Wait, wait, did you pick up the whipped cream cream before or did you just have it on you? No, it stopped at the. Oh, Dagger, that was that was the nightcap. Yes. Yeah. You were like, Hey, I'm going to get a cab. Let me pop in. Get six cans already.
Starting point is 00:15:39 Yeah. Jesus Christ. You gotta be ready. I got a whole pound cake at home. What do you want from me? Yeah, I'm no angel I gotta pass that you are the devil. Oh God damn. How do you feel about when the Uber driver's eating? Oh, hey, didn't hate it. Hey, didn't that didn't really feel like you're in their car hate it, hate it, hate it. That didn't really feel like you're in their car. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:16:05 I feel like this is just a guy I asked for a ride. Like I'm not. The guy that we, the guy that took us to the airport in Vermont. You guys were in a pickup truck. Yeah, he was eating chips. That's not. You think I'll bag a chips? Two like seven in the morning.
Starting point is 00:16:20 That was crazy early. Fuck guys eating funnions. Ask him, I said, oh, are you from what the fuck that was crazy? Yeah, I got the Fritos dude. Yeah, that's not I remember Well, I think I told it I Got a cab I got an Uber a lift in the Lanark city and it was a pickup truck and I had it was a shared one like we were both going We were sitting three across yes, we were. And F-150. And the guys are like, I was talking to another guy. Couple of farm hands.
Starting point is 00:16:48 I know, a guy coming home from, he was also from New York going to visit family. Wait, hold on, this was an Uber. Yeah. A pickup truck. Yeah. This is like two guys, three dudes in the front seat. Me and a guy were sharing it. Cause I forget why we were sharing the Uber.
Starting point is 00:17:03 We were both going to Wildwood. Like I was getting out of North Wildwood. I was got we were both going to Wildwood. Like I was getting out of North Wildwood. He was going to Wildwood Crest or something. Taking turns driving. But I've been diving up all night. Yeah, it was fucking wacky. I think that was the last time I'm like, I can't do this anymore.
Starting point is 00:17:17 We used to take that casino bus down there. It was 30 bucks, round trip, and when you got there, you got a $10 voucher to like, seasors or something. Sure. And man. Get it going when you get in there. I'll let it ride, baby. I remember, oh man, you're just down there with, you're, you through that bus is like, it's people on the lamb. Any bus. Any bus. Is brutal. The mega bus from New York, theilly with brutal yeah, I never write that I wasn't a big mega guy there I was mega everywhere else for the most part
Starting point is 00:17:51 picked a train like a gentleman I didn't have them the money or the time though that's it because if you don't have that amtrak money that could be like a fucking four and a half hour journey the train and shit the Jersey transit train from Penn station to Trenton, which is like an hour and a half, then you got to switch over to Septa. That takes you to 30th Street, which is another hour plus you're waiting 40 minutes for it. Then to get out to the burbs, you got to get on like the R5 or whatever and go out there. Yeah. Yeah, not anymore. Take the bus down. I would get off the Trenton and have someone,
Starting point is 00:18:28 I'd have my mother scoop me a train. Me too. Yeah, Patty picking me up a Trenton. Mm-hmm. Man. The good old days. Oh, by the way, this is my nine year anniversary of living in New York speaking of this.
Starting point is 00:18:39 Congratulations. Nine years today. Look at you. I remember when you stumbled into the city. Yeah. Looking at me for advice, showing you thehuh. I remember when you stumbled into the city. Yeah. Looking at me for advice, showing you the ropes. No, the first day we got lost.
Starting point is 00:18:50 You got us on the wrong train. We went to a movie. No, we didn't. We didn't? I was at a movie. I went to a movie by myself and met you. A real cool guy. It was, uh, because we met in Chelsea.
Starting point is 00:19:02 I forget. Yeah. I don't know. I just remember you being like yeah, let's go pop over the show I know so and so's on the show. We're only three you're like this and we are on a training like this ain't the road Training we got I'm like this guy's things dude me while you're smoking all my heaters What I lived with I just can for 20 bucks what I'll be wind up in the Bronx. I'm gonna go talk to a guy in the corner of See a man about a tie. Why are we at the ready whip factory? I got a big one.
Starting point is 00:19:31 Not even a case you have one giant. What was I gonna say? When I lived up here the first time, I never learned the subway system. I never took the subway. I would take the bus occasionally, but I usually took cabs or didn't go anywhere. I don't move her in shaker. I mean, there was like-
Starting point is 00:19:51 They were out there doing it, how big, guys. There was like two years where I didn't leave the upper east side. I worked in the upper east side. My apartment was in the upper east side. I didn't really do anything. If I went anywhere, I was going somewhere with my brother and I was taking a cab.
Starting point is 00:20:04 So I had to learn the subway when we, when we moved up here. Yeah, it wasn't easy. Mm-hmm. Couple of tears shed on that subway. Oh, I'll pay you that. Yeah. A lot of what am I doing? The whole nine yards.
Starting point is 00:20:17 It ain't great. Those first couple of months, six would be first to everybody says the first year, but at like nine months you're like, oh, this is just never it's just only gonna get Work like everything fucks everything. Yeah, damn. Jamie up. Jamie up. Now who we are look at us now. Thanks to aunt hoodie baby Yeah, jump of the turn style no more. I never did that. Yeah, I was always afraid. I wouldn't give them the satisfaction I only said that excited I assume that you had a story of you getting, clipping your feet and falling over. No, that's why I didn't do it. My school bag would get caught.
Starting point is 00:20:47 I'd fucking hang up upside down or something. That's why I wouldn't do it. I'm so injury prone. You're hanging there like Jesus. I'm so sorry. I never fucking did it, dude. I assumed that was your MO. What, Jumphant Turnstiles?
Starting point is 00:21:02 Yeah. Been known too. Spray painting, cops and jumpin' turnstiles. Spray painting, God.? Yeah, been known to spray paint and cops and jump and turn styles. Hey buddy, stay still for a second. Fucking law breaker. Uh, roller skates. Yeah, I never fucked with that. Yeah, never, never, never. Can't let's talk about Helix. Helix. Let's talk about the best night sleep that we've about helix. Hell, let's talk about the best night sleep that we've ever had together. Get a lot of sleep. We're not in booths. Only the best way to do it. And he looks mattress. Gang, do yourself a favor. Get over to helix.com. Get on there. Take the quiz
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Starting point is 00:22:36 Kim, how about that bespoke post? I think you mean box of awesome. Yeah, bespoke post box of awesome. Get cool stuff stuff sent to your house on a monthly basis. You got the fall, you got the winter, you got the spring, you got the summer day, they break it all up, maybe get a cool pocket knife, maybe get a cool tent, maybe get some grooming stuff, some of that cool soap, or something like some pine soap.
Starting point is 00:22:59 Something to make a nice cocktail with too. Step your fucking bar game up, bozos. All small brands, helping-hmm helping small businesses Passing savings right on you. Yeah, uh, they sent me some sweet knives. I got to be honest with you I just got a green pocket knife look at you and I feel so I live in an apartment I don't really have a I don't really have use for not a woodsman anymore. I'm a city dweller But man, I can open up an Amazon package. I feel like crocodile dundee out of here. I'm like Zorro taking your top off.
Starting point is 00:23:28 It's on a forehead. I got it. Each box is valued at around $70. And 90% of everything that comes in your box of awesome, like the big man said is from a small up and coming brand. Look at that. Get 20% off your first monthly box when you sign up at boxofawesome.com. Enter the code garbage.
Starting point is 00:23:43 Check out that boxofawesome.com. Code garbage for 20% off your first monthly box when you sign up at boxofawesome.com enter the code garbage at checkout that's boxofawesome.com code garbage for 20% off your first box box of awesome.com code garbage do it gang but that's neither here nor there gang because we got a gosh darn fan episode on our hands. Sweet dude. When you sign up for patreon we will answer your garbage question on the air it's just the best way to do it.
Starting point is 00:24:02 The homies get first crack at it, so sign up over there on that Patreon, it's a good God darn time. I have a fun over there. Yeah, it's a fucking, though that's sauce cunt. There's over 9,000 patrons. It's good. Shout out to you, man, aren't they garbage is strong? I feel all fuzzy, was he?
Starting point is 00:24:18 Something else. I love from them, baby. Something else. All right, let's see here, this one's from Josh. Are you garbage if in middle school your principal got beat up by a kid? That's fucking tough, dude. You got a quit, you got a quit. You got to get the motor to teacher or something.
Starting point is 00:24:35 Now we had Mr. Schneider. He'd knock you the fuck out. Really, he was huge. Stand by me type, shit. Yeah, he was huge. Hang your ass, hang your ass, your fet is hanging off the top of the building And this is the 90s man all our teachers were like tough in some way there was none of that
Starting point is 00:24:52 Remember my ninth grade science teacher jacking somebody up for Stain is name wrong. He was really on the edge Jesus, he was our athletic trainer up a D calf will you doc Doyle shout out to him RIP fucking great dude He's taught me about the Gatorade diluted two to one Okay, that's all I learned about it. Hey, I'm like in real scholar over here No, I think you learned a bad learned in high school was about food But he was usually on the edge and some kid came and was like your doc Doc Boyle Doc to an all-sunday just lost it and jacked him up. He's like, you fucking making fun of me.
Starting point is 00:25:26 You platinum evil. Yeah, that's nuts. We didn't have a, I don't think any, my, I did have a extended family member who would, I don't know if it was a charter school pride was like, you know, some not a public school and He would go if you you know, he had taught like teenagers or whatever and he was like, hey, you know You would get like arguments like you know, and he was like if you want to fucking have it out I'll square you know not square. Oh, I think they would go to the gym and he would just like beat this shit out of these kids He's like you're getting a line. Well fucking, you know, not square out with you. I think they would go to the gym and he would just like beat the shit out of these kids. He's like, you're getting a line.
Starting point is 00:26:06 Well, fucking, you know, well, fucking shoot the fade or whatever. And then we'll be more air out our differences and we'll go back to class. Yeah, I was like, that's fucking, I don't think he's, I don't think he's teaching anymore. By one teacher, would do that if students got into a fight. Again, this is, this is the early 90s.
Starting point is 00:26:26 Take a shirt off and jump in. Are you pussy? Start to jump the kid. Run his pockets after it. That's the only three measly bucks I did to shit. That's the worst thing I go through your pockets. Oh man. I know. Yeah. Now, two kids got into a beef, made everybody pull all the desks back into a square and put them in the metal as I go ahead, but they were too scared to fight.
Starting point is 00:26:57 Yeah. Oh, yeah. At that point. Oh, no. Is you're getting in trouble? Oh, yeah. Anyway. Yeah. Yeah. get in trouble. Oh, yeah. Anyway, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, uh, yeah, we never I think another I think I think we had
Starting point is 00:27:07 a wrestling coach who would, you know, it was the gym teacher and if you got fucking, if you got into it with him, he was like, I'll fuck, you know, let's take it to the mats. I'll fucking, you know, I'll fucking give you the button hook or whatever. Whatever it's called. with a folding chair. And it's Mr. Jenkins from the top, bro. But you hit him with a leg drop. He runs in and puts the face pain on. It comes out.
Starting point is 00:27:35 The lights go out. Oh, so dumb, Stephanie McMahon running around back. Stephanie. That's a name, right? Maybe I think so. He could, uh, I don't think back to him. Stephanie. That's a name, right? Uh, maybe. I think so. He good. Uh, I don't think it's definitely doesn't.
Starting point is 00:27:49 It kind of does sound right, but it's also, I don't think it is. Stephanie, you're stacey. Stephanie. Stephanie, look at you. Hmm. You still watching? No, I just saw a clip of her and uh, Triple H. Vince McMahon.
Starting point is 00:28:01 Well, a couple of days ago. Okay, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. Uh, uh, fucking home run of a couple of days ago. Okay, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. Fucking home run of a question. Home run. All right, this one's from Marty, $10 homie never had one red. Is it garbage to ask your friend, where are you staying instead of where you living?
Starting point is 00:28:15 Because that's go, that's real, real temporary vibes there. That means you're on your way out. That's not permanent. Where are you staying? A couch. Yeah, I'm staying over at my mom. I'm staying over at Tuddy's. That's somebody getting their shit together. I thought that. Staying somewhere. Yeah, where you staying. I was back at Paddy's when I flunked out of school before I left for theater school. I was staying there for a little while. That's what you tell me I was staying in my mom. Yeah, I'm helping out. Yeah, you know, I paid a rent, paid a mortgage, all that stuff. I'm waiting. Patty, I'm gonna have to break your legs and the stories they
Starting point is 00:28:54 solid. It's like misery. I could see you with the town bar trying to land some fucking Bluebell for. Yeah, I'm staying with my, you know. Did you ever bring a girl back to your mom's house? Like after college and stuff like that? Yeah. No. Like to try to close a deal? No, we always went out and filly.
Starting point is 00:29:13 So like we would go, like we had apartments. Sure. Like that's like where we would go out. No, never to, I never had like sneak someone in. Yeah, I mean either. I can try and run to set the alarm up before the alarm goes off. My dad was a light sleeper. You know, I must have made you do them, boy. Yeah, not me either. I'm fucking trying to run to set the alarm up before the alarm goes off.
Starting point is 00:29:25 My dad was a light sleeper. He was like, what's the, what's you doing, boy? Cut that in his BVDs. Shout out to BVDs by the way, they were something else. Of course they're on. That was the gentleman's underwear. Yeah. That was like fancy and classy.
Starting point is 00:29:39 I know, because I remember I went, we went swimming, I was like a young kid. I don't know, fucking. You were a tidy whiteies man, right? Like, I think everybody starts out as a tidy whiteies guy. Yeah, yeah, right. You can't be two. You can't be a three year old in Boxers dude.
Starting point is 00:29:54 That's what, big heart zone. That's fucking me. Get the socks with the straps. I mean, I told you, I was like eight or nine. I used to wear a pair of silk boxers. I did that, but I was over my buddy's house. We went swimming. I think like impromptu swimming.
Starting point is 00:30:12 So like I didn't have clothes. We're probably, I don't, seven, six, something like that. And so she was like, oh, just, you know, his mom was like, oh, just use, you know, like a pair of his underwear and shorts or whatever. And I remember she hand, she's like, okay, here you go. Like open, shower, like a pair of his underwear and shorts or whatever. And I remember she hands, she's like, okay, here you go, like open shower, what a change. She handed me a pair of BVBs,
Starting point is 00:30:30 and I never heard of them things. I thought they were Euro-cuddered or something. I was like, what a real six-strap. They did, I was like, what, what are we professional wrestlers? He got me, I'd there looking like Valvenus. He's stealing superman. I remember being like, I ain't never heard of that brand. I was like, we were a Haines fan.
Starting point is 00:30:53 Haines threw to the loom, sure. Yeah, yeah, BVD was. BVD's. Yeah. Class man, didn't fill those things out. I'll tell you that much. Yeah, it was like a van Husson. You know those shirts to van Hussons?
Starting point is 00:31:04 Yeah, they're Macy's, right? Yeah, they were at nights. Couple of van H, it was like a van using. You know those shirts, the van using? Yeah, they're macy's, right? Yeah, they were nice. Couple of van using's like a real jar. Dude, the summer between my senior year of high school and going to college, my girlfriend at the time came down and say with me and my folks, and we hooked up, and I went out, we went out to the pool or whatever, and my mom's dog, little maltease.
Starting point is 00:31:23 You want a pool? In the apartment complex, yeah. Okay, well that's a caveat. Yeah, okay. You had a pool? Guy's three doors down then. They were on VK, they were in Spain for the month. The, her maltese went through the trash
Starting point is 00:31:39 and came out into the living room with the used condom in its mouth, throwing it around the living room. Jesus, dude. Like something about Mary or some shit dude. Like a subway rapper. It's like a big dog. But the old man know. Hey, see that thing? Put a little perv of a dog. And no, dude. All the stuff in there. that's what you go for. Fucking little heathen.
Starting point is 00:32:08 Little freak. You would knock boots in the house like that? Not after that. Jesus. I got this nark-ass dog running around blowing my spot up. I only did that once and fucking my dad heard. He was fucking. Yeah, as you don't have a house, can you even have a house, can do so
Starting point is 00:32:25 to the whale and on yourself, let alone fucking, have an apartment doing the dosie dough up there. It was a Gestapo regime in there. I mean, all the doors are all connected. It's like a hotel, they're all the joining rooms kind of. Come on, open it up to the outside. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:43 That ain't an easy sneak in and sneak out. When you allowed to, so, okay, yeah, that ain't an easy sneak in and sneak out. Would you allowed to, so okay, so you said between high school and college, what state is this in? Florida. Oh, you're in Florida. Same Pete. Same Pete. Well, you, was your high school girlfriend allowed to sleep in your room?
Starting point is 00:32:59 Sleepover? Yes. Really? We were adults basically kind of. You're not an adult now. What do you talk? were adults, basically, kind of. You're not an adult now. What do you talk? You weren't an adult back then. Legally. My mom...
Starting point is 00:33:11 He was a big, that was proud. Legally, you can't tell me what to do. Now, I'll take my cereal in my room, please. We had cousins in their 20s, and if they weren't married, they weren't allowed to sleep in the same room with their, with their fiances. And Catholic household like I love Lucy that severed beds one foot of the floor. No, he put one downstairs and one upstairs. Yeah, my, there was a,
Starting point is 00:33:33 there was a moment where my girl sleeping your room. Hey, shout out to atheism. Yeah, I guess there is benefits. Your parents are atheists. Yeah. Okay. Thought you were Scottish. Yeah, 23 million this guy. I think my brother-in-law lived it. What does that have to do with anything? God was household, man. No rules, baby. Yeah, all the stuff we have is all. Yeah. Fucking disgracey. Oh, my brother-in-law needed a place to stay. Tell you, knock a broad up. That's, I think that's why Patty didn't want it happening.
Starting point is 00:34:09 He wanted me fucking dropping live rounds in somebody. She's gotta raise the kid, because I had no- We stopped talking about your rounds, please. This is a fucking goddamn family. Putty's upstairs watching TV. Uh, it's no more round talk from you. All right, and if you're on the Patreon, you know why I bring that up because I've seen them.
Starting point is 00:34:31 I've seen a couple of sped clips. Big man's in their dumping clips and his undies. It wasn't that. It was ready with. Oh, man, I love it. All right, let's see. This one's from E Breezy from Vacate, back of the bill, $10 home, you never have one red.
Starting point is 00:34:57 This is a shot at me in a picture I post. Are you garbage? I mean, I didn't realize. Are you garbage if you get no sideburns when getting your haircut, especially if you're a child with no sideburns that picture I posted with the bowl cut. I didn't realize I they took me the fucking high in tights. I had the flat liner going dude. That's a bad look It was worse when a dad had it. Oh man a grown man with it It's you see the sunglasses go all the way back. Yeah
Starting point is 00:35:23 Um, I saw a dude on a train with it Dude, he went so high up in the back. You know what I mean? Like they they fucking took them all the way up And he had no and no fucking sideburns. I was like body open a book or something read a magazine It's not a good look. It's not a good look But I get if at the time I don't think things were we've talked about this things weren't cool back then Because we didn't know anything. No, it was cool back then. I don't think it was cool.
Starting point is 00:35:49 I just think it was baseball players that had it. I didn't have the baseball, I didn't have the cool hot Dominican baseball guy. No, no, I'm talking about the white guys. They would have like regular, regular hairline like on the side. And they would just be gone. There's a couple guys on the ex-boes or reds that had it I don't know that's a tough looked all anything yeah that's real that's real jammed up another tough look is the bald guy with the sideburns that go too high sure what do you mean you
Starting point is 00:36:19 know how like if they have a beard and then you clip it by the ears then it does it fades into the shape head but sometimes you'll see it go up a little too high like the way action broncin rocks it a little bit yeah he pulls it off well like past their ears yeah so it's just like you just got like two fucking johns here oh yeah what the fuck yeah it's like mad mag shit yeah yeah it's like reverse mutton chops. I know. It's inverted chops. Yeah, that's a tough look. All right, let's see here. This one's from Frank. Another $10 homie. I already know how I feel about this, but is it garbage to put your shirt on before boxers? My dad did this
Starting point is 00:37:00 growing up and definitely saw him dangling as a child. You're sure before your boxers crazy. Yeah Chrissy D does it real. Oh, that's right. Yeah, that's right. We need the pooza I feel like I need to be protected right away. Sure. I mean yeah, like having your fill you know undies go on first Yeah, I can fucking get my wits about me. Yeah, yeah, I'm he's going first. That's that's crazy. Yeah, that's that ain't that ain't great about me. Yeah. Yeah. Undy's going first. That's crazy. Yeah. That's that ain't that ain't great. Uh, that's did real weird shit back then. They had real weird routines and all that. Yeah. There was, it was no man's land. They weren't talking. They were just figuring it out themselves. Yeah. High white socks, bad deodorant, shitty underwear, big time. Uh huh. Tucker T was all tidy way. Did you get like the shaving convert?
Starting point is 00:37:46 Did your dad show you how to shave? Uh, I think maybe once, but I couldn't shave the way he could. He had like a real like man stubble. My, my, even now it's not really thick. Does that make sense? Yeah, I think it was because they didn't moisturize or something that skin was different I was like a catcher's been shaved every day It's like it made it would like make noise
Starting point is 00:38:15 Oh dude Yeah, I didn't have that you were ripping a piece of loose leaf. Yeah, I think my dad shaved every day nuts It's nuts. That's so crazy to me. I hated shaving. I hate the way it made my face feel. I just stopped one time. Like, not to like right before I was getting married. I was just like, I'm fucking, because I wouldn't get be so lazy that I would let it get too long. And I didn't have a beard trimmer. I just would have to like, it'd be too long, be ripping out. It's like old mock three.
Starting point is 00:38:46 And it would, oh yeah, I would feel it here for days. Just like fucking. It'd be weird when it was growing back in. Oh, no, I could feel it being already like ripped at just fucking sucked. And I was like, I'm done. I'm just getting, I thought beer trimmers were like. Kitchen lip.
Starting point is 00:39:01 Ooh. I thought beer trimmers were like a million dollars. They're awesome. And then I remember I bought one Did you know anybody that rocked the electric razor? The ones with the circle. I stepped that had one, but I don't think I think he just bought it because it was like It was never used. I don't know how those things work. I used it one time. It was fucking brutal I thought they were exclusively for guys at red lights
Starting point is 00:39:23 In commercials or movies late for a meeting. That's funny. Kip, you know about this mint mobile? Uh, yeah, mint mobile. My wife's been using it for years. So you know about $15 a month. I keep your number, pass the savings right onto the consumer. All done online, no brick and water, no push these salespeople,
Starting point is 00:39:46 no nothing like that. Oh, by the way, you know who owned it? Ryan Reynolds. Yeah, we're gonna peek at that guy. Height body. Woo, wee! Yeah, Mint Mobile 4 goes a traditional call to retail by passing the savings straight to you.
Starting point is 00:39:58 So you choose. There you go. All plans come with unlimited talk, text, and high speed data on a nation's largest 5G network Is a trash here to say data or data? Data is trash here. Yeah, it would be data. I'm a data man I'm a data man. I don't know how what I do actually now. I'm in my head about it Switching couldn't be easier. Keep your same phone phone number and all your contacts the only thing that changes is your bill
Starting point is 00:40:22 And it goes down a bunch of money, okay? 15 beans. What are we doing? I know 15 bucks a month. I don't even save in 15 bucks and all your contacts, the only thing that changes is your bill, and it goes down a bunch of monies, okay? 15 beans, what are we doing? I know, 15 bucks a month, not even seven, 15 bucks. It's 15 bucks a month. Crazy. It's uncanny. To get your new wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month
Starting point is 00:40:35 and get that plan shipped to your door for free, go to minmoble.com slash garbage at minmoble.com slash garbage. Call your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month and minmoble.com slash garbage. I'm back there that 15 bucks a month and mint mobile.com slash garbage. I'm back to that guy. I just don't show gang back to the show. Shave it in the car. Did either of your dads wear the socks, suspenders?
Starting point is 00:40:52 No, I don't understand. No, with the straps. I was just saying no. That's for like business people. Right? You mean in the 20s, nobody, why did yours? No. Was he a traveling salesman?
Starting point is 00:41:05 Sellin' snake oil. But that's for suits, right? That's to keep that's to keep the suit. No, I think that was I don't know what you do with whiteies. I think that was when they didn't have elastic and socks. Yeah, but I feel like people did it way, even with dress, like, you know, at least you see it in movies and shit where like, or maybe that's just like a, a trope, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Never a fan. Never a fan of suspenders either. I tried to pull them off. I think I'm like eighth grade. Whoa. Yeah. Grunge. Now,
Starting point is 00:41:38 just want to the where suspender. I think it was because of, uh, uh, it was because of somebody did it cool, right? Robin Williams, war suspenders on Morgan Mindy. And I wanted to, Morgan Mindy. They were rainbow, though. Trying to pull it off. Nah, man, no good.
Starting point is 00:41:59 Take the wedgie out from the bully. Three. The day gave you a wedgie. Oh, sure. Just fucking jacked you up. I remember, I also. They gave you a wedgie. Oh, sure. This fucking jacked you up. I remember. I also tried overalls for a little bit. They were, I think I had it.
Starting point is 00:42:12 My sister would wear them in the url. I guess, you're my sister's, I guess my sister's younger than you. But there was, I remember her being in like junior high and like they were rocking overall. Like the Calvin Klein or Tommy Hill figure. I think they had like the branded sure Yeah, now these were years were like country overall. Yeah, it was bad Like you're running the general store That and when Carpenter jeans hit
Starting point is 00:42:37 Man, you couldn't tell me shit nice at a Carpenter jeans. I looked horrible in those Carbohen everything. What are we talking about? They were huge. Nice set of carpenter jeans though. You couldn't go back to regular jeans. You felt like a nerd, you know what I mean? At least when I back when I was banging. Yeah, I was too old for them to be walking around with them.
Starting point is 00:42:58 I just looked like a carpenter. Sure. Yeah, I had them. Yeah, I don't work carpenter. They were great for the one, one because they started Yeah, I don't work. Arbitrate. They were great for The one one because they started making the pockets a little bigger It would have like the loop on the one side like the hammer. Yeah, that was it Damn the pockets and they would be like too powerful like a utility knife and a pencil or whatever
Starting point is 00:43:16 Sure, but it would I had a pair that was put your weed in there perfect for a pack of heaters Fucking sneak it right down in there. I mean operating school. No one knew none the difference because they used to be able to like search your bags and Shoot the heaters on you in school. Sure did Why not I needed one Yeah for after school. That's crazy. What do you mean? I was an athlete. What's fucking smoking heaters like a bowzo. Most kids that were smoking heaters, had heaters on them. Mike for Rendeepe with heaters.
Starting point is 00:43:51 Really? Yeah. And heist pat flip. And then once you were driving, you had them in your car. Sure. Fucking light up as you're pulling out. Come get me copper.
Starting point is 00:44:00 I can spark up. Yeah, of course. You got to have your heaters on you know, Jim dump. Oh, heaters. When somebody would when somebody in class would sneak out and go rip a heater. That's crazy in the stairwell. My buddy my buddy used to do it all the time. He'd go and fucking pull one in the bathroom and dude, he would
Starting point is 00:44:21 uh-huh dude fucking suck it down and come rolling in, casually. But at back then, everybody smelled like smoke too. No, you could everybody know. Of course, but I'm just saying there was still smoking sections in shit. Like everybody was smoking. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:40 I was trying to think of why I spoke. I teach her that smoked. We had a teacher that's smoked. So did we, Mr. Moore. You could see the nicotine stain on his fucking on his must That his mustache was like tied I do to his fucking dude those guys seem like they didn't leave school Like they were just there all the time. They wore the same thing. They always had chalk on them. Yeah sky was all Mr. I think it was mr. Ryan Miller. He was always chewing gum. He smelled like cigarettes and mint Get down real close
Starting point is 00:45:10 We had one guy with the same page. I remember I might have said this. He got a pair of cargo cargo pants pair green cacky cargo pants Fat pieces shit such a every I fucking hated this dude fucking real loud mouth He was always seeing him around fucking chirping and shit It's like buddy fucking zip it right some new material will you? Can't real fucking attitude problem real show off He was a fucking loud mouth. And he will do that. We he will. He got them. He came back first day from Christmas break with this freshly fucking fresh set of fucking green cargo shorts and then wore them every single day for the rest of the year to the point where shorts, no cargo pants.
Starting point is 00:46:05 Oh, yeah, sure. That's it. Fucking flashy goes in the scene. The teacher wearing shorts, get the fuck out of you. We saw a teacher got his wife, his fiance broke off with him or something like midday. First of all, dick move. Guys, guys trying to mold the minds of the future
Starting point is 00:46:28 and you're fucking out there cheating on them or whatever. Play it with his heart. Yeah, a little Philly breaking heart. Walk that on you, have a guy. She was a dime store, you don't need her. Try to comfort him. Yeah, so he, dude, he just started bawling. Shut the fuck up.
Starting point is 00:46:48 I swear to God. I wasn't my, he was right next to me. We started crying in class. It's a teacher teacher. Wait, where did it was a student? He's getting married. Teacher, he starts bawling, right? And then...
Starting point is 00:47:02 You're in the middle of class. I'm not in the class. I'm in the class right next door. Okay. So like they all- Are doors? It was like a pod. No, there's doors, but like,
Starting point is 00:47:13 there was windows into like right pot, whatever, whatever. We see them leave it. Like you can hear that you can feel it's very close to us. Okay. We feel there's something of the foot. Sure. There's a hoop law. These kids are fucking, you know what I mean? I can probably run in his pockets at this point. Poor bastard.
Starting point is 00:47:31 It's got nothing to look for. Take it as a ludge. Um, they fucking, so he runs out. And I think he, you can't leave until, you can't leave a class unattended, like state law or something. So he had to like call. There was like a phone in the back of the, until you can't leave a class unattended like state law or something. Sure. So he had to like call, there was like a phone in the back of the... Oh, there's a phone in the hallway, that's what it was. So he had to go out on this is when we saw him because the phone was right next to our door, he's crying on the phone going,
Starting point is 00:47:54 can you send someone to room 502? I'm having a big day. Or whatever. And then to now everybody's like, I'm busy, everybody's fucking leaning into the guy. And then until we like, ah, he's busy. Everybody's fucking leaning into the guy. And then until we graduated high school, that was like, remember when Mr. So-and-so fucking
Starting point is 00:48:10 out, shh, had his heart broken. We had a... Open your books to chapter four. Oh, on the board. It starts breaking up the acoustic, you know, fuck. There we go. Did you have any teachers that were married or in a relationship in your school?
Starting point is 00:48:31 Together? Yeah. No. My junior year, there was two teachers that were married. Dude had an affair with another teacher in the school. Caliente. Yeah, French teacher. Home record.
Starting point is 00:48:49 Oh, I lied. Miss Home record. There was a hot teacher. I believe her language, something from the romance. You know, a romantic language. And shit. Oh, that's Slavic bullshit. You know Romantic language and she's she hooked up with Single but like a you know a guy and they got together. I remember it was the talk of the town sure
Starting point is 00:49:15 Everybody had a thing for her Doggie, mr. Lane this grabter. I guess I'm fucking I was waiting till I was waiting till I turned 18 to make my room But somebody yeah, and then I remember everybody was like Mr. Lane this grab there. I had some fucking I was waiting until I was waiting until I turned 18 to make my run with somebody. Yeah. And I remember everybody was like, man, the one that got away, you know what I mean? I was just close. Um, all right. Let's see here.
Starting point is 00:49:36 This one's from William. Is it garbage if your grandpa took a shot of fireball during church services because he had a cough and that's what he calls his cough medicine. Oh. Yeah. Grandfathers drinking fireball trash makes no sense because when they were banging there was no fireball. Yeah, that's newly adopted.
Starting point is 00:49:56 Yikes. But it does have a smoothing, uh, showing effect. So I do get that. It is like a lozenge. There's a reason that cough medicine has alcohol in it. Yeah, I don't know what it is, but sure it's something doesn't have alcohol in it. Yeah, usually. I mean now they have a little different stuff but back in the day, it had alcohol in it. Wait, for sure. I got a year-round cough. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:50:21 Big guy. I know that because my uncle is an alcoholic and he couldn't have cough medicine. You're around coffee, no, I didn't mean big guy. I know that because my uncle is an alcoholic and he couldn't have coffee medicine Really, yeah, I think cuz is there alcohol in there just something in it that alters your state T-bone I saw big eyes from T-bone CVS health nighttime cough syrup contains 10% alcohol damn Let's get a six sir Fucking white cloth. Yeah No Wait white white claws like six Yeah, if you drink it you'd have to drink the bottle 10% alcohol by volume which is different than the bottle You know you're not a fucking pussy. I mean I have some fucking weekend warrior. I'm gonna throw in a bait
Starting point is 00:51:00 5% a white claw has Yeah, it's double a white claw 5% of white claw has double a white claw Shout out to cough medicine Kids no don't do that out there. That's bad of course, um, but adults Still don't do it. No, no stop. Don't say it. It's a funny joke, but don't say it Just drink beer, okay? Everybody. Oh, that's better. Ha ha ha ha.
Starting point is 00:51:29 Hey, yeah, it's legal. Cough medicine's legal. Not like that. It's not. They wouldn't sell it to you if they knew what you were doing with it. Yeah, Roba Tussin and Soda. Oh yeah, Tussin on a rocks. Splash it, grandma and yay. Oh, man.
Starting point is 00:51:49 Okay, let's see here. This one's from Tatted Steve. Is it garbage to carry two phones because one has a crack screen and use it, wait, hold on, I'm sorry. Is it garbage to use two phones because one has a crack screen and using it as a hotspot for the other phone Which doesn't have service on top? I don't even get that that's still not even a full working phone anywhere. No So the hotspot so the hotspot he's got a cracked he's got a broken phone that has service
Starting point is 00:52:22 Right, he then uses the hotspot on that to connect a phone that a dead phone that doesn't have service. Right. Why not just switch the phone somehow? Can't you just go and be like, I want this phone? He's obviously a dirt phone. He's like, this is the epitome of jammed up by the way.
Starting point is 00:52:40 I've been jammed up like that for a while. Before I got an iPhone, which was maybe, I think it an iPhone until like that for a while. Before I got an iPhone, which was maybe, I didn't get an iPhone till probably, though, 2017. Okay. I had some fucking real, real bad phones. You remember any of those phones that I had? I had like old fucking Android's and fucking shit like that. Are you a blackberry guy?
Starting point is 00:53:01 Yeah. I mean, the blackberries were cooking. I had the worst blackberry ever. It was all fucked up. The top was gone. The top of the top plastic part was gone. I think I remember that. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:53:14 When did you get an iPhone? Like 2017, that was my first iPhone. Whoa. Yeah. That long ago? I mean, that recent? Yeah. All right, what'd you guys get one?
Starting point is 00:53:35 2014 2015 they dropped win 2006 something like that something because I was in kind of Remember I remember the kid that had one at a party 2007 that sounds a six or seven. I've ever seen one at the restaurant that I worked that It was like look at the future. I talked so much I was like, look, it was like the future. I talked so much. Sit in there with your overalls on. What's that, sir? I talked so much shit about it. There was a drug dealer who lived above me. I was like, why do I need that?
Starting point is 00:53:52 And he goes, I'm trying to watch YouTube while I'm taking a shit. And I was like, I'm sold. I get it. Huh. 2017 got my first iPhone. Which it was like, immediately stolen. Sure. Like six months later. I had the blouse a blackberry guy because bbm was big Do you remember bbm? You were probably too much of a dirt bag that was like I message but for blackberry
Starting point is 00:54:16 You had like a code. Yeah, and you like I just got my brother's old one from work He was a big blackberry guy. Oh, yeah, I mean work like the business that had to be blackberry. Yeah, yeah, yeah, ping in all that. I remember them talking about it on a entourage. Really? Blackberries. Yeah, I got one. And then I moved to the sidekick slide. There we go. The middle of the sidekick. Lil Wayne calling when you want, calling me on my sidekick. That was fallout boy shit I didn't fuck with any of that stuff fallout boy. I just lumped that in there with the with the early 2000 He's not wrong big with the my space kids. Yeah, really. Oh, yeah, I thought it was sidekick. I thought it was like a
Starting point is 00:54:57 It was a hip-hop thing now They were rapping about something called me when you want bitch call me on my sidekick now There was even an emo band who had a song that was called can I check my my space when we get there it was about like getting a psychic really you were one of those hats that all the girls wore to what the Von Dutch hats wait what do you mean the one that um Jen Apatow's wife wears in we were just watching that the bucket hats, but dude that was my phone that the middle part It up exposed a whole keyboard Tickity tickity had the tracking ball on it. I thought could you watch videos on it? Yeah, but like through the browser this wasn't there wasn't like YouTube apps on it at this point
Starting point is 00:55:40 This was like through the brows. I thought I was jazzy with this thing, dude. I thought I was the coolest fucking kid in the world. Slide that thing open goldfish fallout. Fucking barbecue's also over it. I remember when the razor's hit. Yeah. Speaking of that, my brother got one for Christmas and he's like, oh, shit, this year? my brother got one for Christmas and he's like, oh shit. This year? No. No fucking 15 years ago, whatever.
Starting point is 00:56:08 And he's like, oh, I think it's girlfriend or whoever it was or somebody got him, and he's got him like the, you know, Motorola razor when they were like the shit, the colored ones or whatever. And he's like, oh cool, the new razor. Baddie had like that and purple Yeah, you know good and tell her nothing every tramp had a color Daddy I love you, but I had to make the joke he opens the door I Love you, Patty
Starting point is 00:56:46 This is glad to have a second ride right here PT cruiser You're fucking tattoos Who are you talking about your mom? I know but she's got to go home and clean herself up. I'll tell you that I picture with the vacuum with the purple razor in those leather pants. That's a leather pants. I'm sick. I've told you that, right? Man, that's so... Have you ever talked to her about it now?
Starting point is 00:57:17 She doesn't remember. Yeah, I talked to her about it. That's how long ago. She's like, that never happened. Real selective memory has brought you. Yeah, so do you, by the way. Yeah, we were talking. He way? I don't know. We just talking.
Starting point is 00:57:25 He forget and you had lunch already. Speaking of which something he's you know, it's like. Oh God, a little bit peckish. Oh, fuck that's fucking funny. The razor. Looking back to early 2000s, man. Some of those styles were pretty whack.
Starting point is 00:57:47 Pretty whack. Yeah, I remember I spent all of my, whatever credit limit Macy's gave me to get my credit card. I got like a, I did, I remember trying to buy, I tried to be cool in college. That's when like cool clothes started, like very not cool clothes, but we're against like the affliction t-shirts like those graphic t's, a blazer.
Starting point is 00:58:12 I was wearing that shit. What? Five years after it was cool. You remember my graphic t's down in Philly? Yeah. I mean, you're still off the mark a lot, but yeah, I don't know what I thought about you when I first met I didn't love you. I know that much it wasn't a you were You had to grow on me a little bit. I stink all around Running around in that fucking suit jacket like you were fucking Bob Barker What the fuck were you thinking? I like that I sued Chad, I like that I was blazer.
Starting point is 00:58:49 I got all my uncle Mike's old clothes and I would just, I just wore them. He would roll through stuff. Everything starts to the eyebrows. Yeah. Cut your neck. Hey, what's up guys? Dude, I got all of his old suits,
Starting point is 00:59:03 I got all of his old golf shirts, all that shit. That's what I wore. I remember you were a very eclectic guy, a lot of weird haircuts floating around. You even did that on this show. I thought like some of the like tagging, some of your like shaved head, you got a pony tail, there's a lot going on, yeah.
Starting point is 00:59:22 I could see you being a real bald guy with a ponytail late in life. Sure, comic book. You can make that work. The comic book store guy. I'd never do a ponytail. And I ain't going bald. Stay out.
Starting point is 00:59:36 Me on the other hand. Toby hit me. You should grow it all out. Uh-uh. That'd be cool. What, grow it out? Yeah. Mm. No, I'm just gonna, like I always said,
Starting point is 00:59:49 I wanna do the what's the gourd then. Just as it gets, just keep it shorter and shorter. As it gets, it's doing prime, I get nice compliments. I mean, I get a lot of mean compliments. A lot of mean comments as well. It's holding its ground. Yeah, it's holding its ground. Some people say it looks more fortified than ever.
Starting point is 01:00:04 You're off the road game or on the road game. I'm on the Rogan. I'm off the Propeach gotcha It's just dug in like World War One. Yeah, trench warfare baby Roganer I used to consider Rogan my boost mustard gas floating around up there Rogan was my bunch of dead horses I'm not sure if you're gonna be there. Rogaine was my bunch of dead horses. Flies. It was just flies around it.
Starting point is 01:00:30 As I was fucked up with those World War One photos, I was like four dead horses laying there. Oh, man, that has a swell. Oh, my God. What a war. No man's land. War with horses.
Starting point is 01:00:41 Yeah. Yikes. Poor bastards. Um, fuck, what was I saying? Wanderers fields. Um, all right, let's see here. Uh, this one's from Benjamin. Oh, shout out, Benny Boy.
Starting point is 01:00:54 Uh, subcontractor of Kippy's Heaters in Kooling here. Shout out to you. Very nice. Welcome to the company. Uh, are you garbage? No, Benny's with that job. Now, subcontractor. Sub sub-contra you're 1099 Independent don't forget about that. You know, yeah, I'm not I'm not carrying fucking when I've taken that taxes for you
Starting point is 01:01:13 You need to write off keep your receipts um Are you garbage if you're the same age as your brother without being twins? Are you garbage if you're the same age as your brother without being twins? Brother was born late January and I was born in December of the same year. So for that month were both the same age. I didn't even think that was a possibility. How long do you have to wait until? I mean they waited a month. No, two months, maybe she was pregnant within two months. It has to be, right?
Starting point is 01:01:46 Because what's nine months from, wait, hold on. September. No, why September? September is nine months from January. My late January. No, it's, yeah, no, in the other end. So what's, wait. The brother was born in late January.
Starting point is 01:02:03 Yeah, so, okay, yeah. So he was born in late January. Yeah, so okay, yes. He was born in early December. So February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November. They're 11 months apart. I think that's not crazy. I've never heard of anybody, no, that is crazy. The same age as your brother. Call him Irish twins.
Starting point is 01:02:23 No, that's 18 months. Yeah, I'm Irish twins. 18 months is Irish twins. Me and my brother are 18 months. Which means they be fucking. That's the same age as, same mom. That's nuts. Probably a piece.
Starting point is 01:02:38 So wait, what are they? Once I junior, let me in there. Elman couldn't give his hands over. She for sure has a purple razor. Uh. Yeah, no, that's. That hurts my head. That shouldn't be legal.
Starting point is 01:02:56 What do you think? It's gonna be sore down there. How long is it after after you give birth? Three weeks. Three weeks? Three weeks you can get pregnant? Yeah. Jeez. after you give birth three weeks three weeks three weeks you can get pregnant yeah there you buried that one hello three weeks you're back on the board also what kind of freak is he it's like throwing a hot dog down a hallway probably I think Jesus Christ that's
Starting point is 01:03:30 That's 18 I mean my brother and sister 18 months that's Irish Google it see if they give you a time for Irish twins 18 to 20 months and that that's what I'm saying and that's fast so much so that it has a name sure you know what I mean two children space 12 or fewer months apart. Fewer. 12 or fewer. So you guys aren't Irish twins. No, not Irish cousins. Kissing cousins.
Starting point is 01:03:52 So they're Irish twins. Yeah, well, I always thought Irish twins was 18 months. Right, we too. Well, you learn something new every day. The Irish. All right, let's see. This is from the Prince on the Fat Horse. And that is your pin homie, shout out to you.
Starting point is 01:04:10 Nice. He's a 13-year-old homie. And that. That would be the pound, shit. Yeah. Damn, maybe Scalant. No, Scotland's got to use the pound too. Scalant uses the pound.
Starting point is 01:04:23 Oh. And I go in my face. Yeah. Damn. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, on that too. On the euro? Yeah. I mean, probably a lot of people. There's a lot of different bills. Only it's the same person. I know what ain't the queen. I'll tell you that much. Hey, lady, get rocks, huh? Yeah, it's probably just like all, you know, different political figures from the past or whatever. What do you got? Who's on a 20? I'm checking right now. I'm not getting great answers. Huh. It's gotta be, yeah, like old, you know, somebody, somebody that's, I feel like one of you.
Starting point is 01:05:11 You gotta think it's a new currency. When I was in France, I feel like Winston Churchill was on one of them. That would make sense, though, right? I don't think so. Huh. Hey, Steve Martin. That John Gandy. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha Steve Martin John candy Couple of John candy's
Starting point is 01:05:26 It's a building I'm not even a guy what Get out of here with that that makes sense though what building just a CVS Check it. It's not gonna be great answers Johnny on the spot the whole episode. I mean, this is stumping you. I mean, I don't think it's him. It's this goddamn European internet man. Jamming you.
Starting point is 01:05:50 He's translating it on the fly. Then I want to call off the info. Are you garbage if you reenact the Jackass stunts and or home alone traps? That's always, I mean, Jackass, yeah, that hit when we were, what I was, I mean, San with T-bone, young teenager. That was, you know, free-gate your hands on a shopping cart. You're sure.
Starting point is 01:06:10 You're pushing a buddy in that. Yeah. What do you got T-bone? It's a fake building. A fake building? Yeah. It's the 20-year-old banknotes to pick bridges and arches, slashed-orways, in a gothic architecture.
Starting point is 01:06:23 What the fuck? That's kooky. I ain't going back there. Tell you that much. If I do, I'm spending green bags. USA bucks, Daddy. Yo, a couple of tea bills, Treasury bonds, um, S&P. I'll take it.
Starting point is 01:06:37 Hey, hey, better if you want my business. Uh, but home alone traps. That's what you want it as a kid. You wanted to fucking booby trap the house and fuck some dudes up. Sure. What age were you in that drop? Do you were there aged out of that? Where did home alone come out? Probably 89? No. 92? 92. I was a sophomore in high school. Yeah, be weird if you were fucking at a BB gun on your back fucking. 1990. 1990. So I was in high school. Yeah, be weird if you were fucking had a BB gun on your back fucking. 1990.
Starting point is 01:07:06 1990. So I was in eighth grade. That's right around there. Yeah, that's alright. I'll give you that. You were four. Yeah. You were watching that when you were four?
Starting point is 01:07:17 I mean, I don't, I don't know if I was at the premiere, but I fucking, I did, I was an integral part of my childhood. Probably giving them. One hair kid named Kevin, what are we doing here? That was me, baby. Sure, yeah. I don't, I mean, okay, so it came out when 90? Yeah. So I would have been 14.
Starting point is 01:07:39 The old guy still scared me. Oh, he scares me now. All I, I understand him a little bit more as I get older. Great actor. Yeah. Great performance, man. He's so good in the end. Those boots.
Starting point is 01:07:51 Bop, bop. I'll see you later. Well, we got to wrap it up, gang. He's that little bastard. He beats it. Oh, dude, fucking no way, dude. That pizza looked all right. I'll tell you that.
Starting point is 01:08:04 Shout out to little nearest. Who wants a little nearest of course. Yeah, that and I would always try to find like the Something in the movie where you can scare somebody the talk boy who got became huge in the recording That fucking thing didn't work like that as a dude as a fucking six year old I might as well have been working for the fucking CIA. We are nuts. Jason Timkery. Yeah, I was fucking bugging the house. Just fucking, you know, I was doing everything and I find out what I was getting for Christmas at the tap on the phone line. Hey, Jerry Lewis, you leave a running taper corner in the room. Metallic clink. We gotta go gang. I'm gonna tell you this right now. We love you to death. Oh, yeah. Come see us on the road. We're going to go gang. I'm going to tell you this right now. We love you to death. Oh, yeah, come see us on the road
Starting point is 01:08:48 We're about to drop a couple of the second link of the tour sure. Should be dropping soon Check out our you garbage dot com pick yourself up a D lighter whatever you want. We love you very much And we'll see you next week. Please

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