Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Free Sample Etiquette w/ Kippy & Foley
Episode Date: September 21, 2023Are You Garbage is back with Kippy and Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. Its a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live ...show! NEW TOUR DATES: https://areyougarbage.com/ Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/hfoleycomedy/ Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/ PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Helix Sleep: https://www.helixsleep.com/Garbage Box of Awesome: https://www.BoxOfAwesome.com Promo Code: GARBAGE Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?
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Welcome to another exciting edition of...
Are you garbage?
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals?
Or absolute trash?
Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H Foley.
Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's new favorite podcasts.
This is R U Gerbit.
So a little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that I think you're to be classy.
You're to just a big old piece of trash.
Trash, trash, trash.
I'm your host H Foley Coming At Your on a beautiful day.
We're out back here with Tuddy's in the new edition.
Little news on her.
She was the big winner at Bingo last night.
Great.
Gonna be in the newspaper.
Awesome.
Not for Bingo, though.
And DWI.
My god, that's coming at you from across the table.
Got a head like a chickpea, but we love them.
Give it up for KJ, Kevin James, right?
Thanks a lot, hi, Eric.
That was kind of good.
Happy to be here. Thanks for tuning in. As always, please make lot, hi hair. That was kind of good. Happy to be here.
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Happened nice quick shout out to our producer, short and air.
I forget when I need them sometimes.
Should I really bit me in the ass on that 30.
He is a, he's a kick flippin' stand-up comedian from the back woods of North Carolina.
By the way, you shaggle Illinois.
Give it up for Toby McMullan, everybody.
What up boys?
Hey, what up, T-bone.
So is that the, is the hair supposed to be like a helmet?
It's big. It's tied today. Is it woven? It's, ooh,bone. So is that the hair is supposed to be like a helmet? It's protected.
It's hide it, actually.
Woffin?
It's, ooh, baby.
It looks strong.
Looks like fucking Tony Hawk's gonna drop in on that.
It looks like the wave in the perfect storm.
Yeah.
Flips the boat.
Man, going down with the ship.
That's up there.
Yeah, it's a high.
It's hide it.
It doesn't look bad.
It's just.
It's getting a little longer.
It looks good. You don't say. It's getting a little longer. Yeah, it's a high, it's high today. It doesn't look bad. It's just-
It's got a little longer.
It's good.
It's got a little longer.
Uh-huh.
And I've been blow drying it.
I've been getting it completely dry, combing it back, and then just using a little bit of
crew forming cream in it.
So that's kind of what it is.
I'm gonna get a little trimmed up.
It's great.
Get trimmed.
Get my eyebrows done.
Get the ears cleaned up.
Hey, you got it.
Not doing the nose anymore.
I had a really bad infection when I had my nose hair pulled.
It's no good.
This has been gross hour with age fully everybody.
Ingrown hairs and infections with you.
Hey, nothing's gonna break my mood today.
I don't know how much you make fun of me.
It's fucking the fall and it feels good.
It feels very nice out there.
Crisp in the air.
A season of smells if I can say that.
You're a man of smells, dude.
Don't get, don't sell yourself short. I love the way it smells in the air. A season of smells if I can say that. Oh, you're a man of smells, dude. Don't sell yourself, Jordan.
I love the way it smells in the city.
I love it.
When you get that, you know it's great.
Chris Day, you get that hamburger smell.
Like it's like a restaurant's nearby.
Okay.
And it smells like burgers.
You don't get that?
How about pizza?
You get like that onion sauce smell?
I don't equate that to weather.
I, yeah, I don't know.
It moves through the air better when it's nice out.
When there's a little bit of a light breeze
and humidity's low and the barometric pressure.
Well, it saves you some steps
because you start floating towards the end.
Yeah, I would.
Like a fucking moss to a light.
It's got to be easier.
It's crazy.
I feel like a good hamburger.
Speaking of, so, all right, I got something I want to get into.
This is a little hard feelings ask.
Okay.
Because I had hard feelings with the gentleman in front of me in line at a store, but it
does bring up an etiquette thing, which we tend to talk about a lot on each show.
Okay.
Kind of operate out there in a world for a couple of bozos.
Sure.
I was at a, I want to say, not a frozen yogurt plate,
like an ice cream place, a little more
of a higher end ice cream place.
Where, yeah, my wife likes it, so we were there.
I'm not a sweet man, I've said this a bunch.
Can you say a dinner roll?
Get any old dress ons right there?
It's more of a gelato spot,
that's the word I'm looking for.
A gelato.
A gelato.
Which what is the difference? I know what, I know custard is there's egg in it,
which doesn't get enough love. Frozen custard really's gotten bamboozled.
Okay. You don't do core brothers down a shore on the boardwalk.
I'm that big ice cream guy when it does I'm a I'm a Philly man through and through.
So read his water ice all day every day.
Shout out to the chocolate of a Nello to root beer.
Man, also a root beer water rice with a soft brezzy.
So underrated.
Talk me in.
Yeah, it's all right.
Also shout out to Bassett's ice cream.
Bassett's ice cream.
Don't know if you're original, the best vanilla in the world.
What is gelato?
Do you know you're man of the world?
I do know.
The difference between gelato and ice cream is ice cream is made
with cream and gelato is made with milk.
Really?
Yep.
Just ruined my day.
I thought it'd be more cream,
more creamier.
Why is that so upsetting?
Bummer.
I don't know.
Thought there'd be a little more something in there.
Extra sugar or something.
Hey, trusty's Italian.
What?
Goddamn, when lures...
Fuckin' st-
They're skimming the fucking...
Skimming the ice cream, he's fucking, guys.
That's a fuck.
Yeah, I don't know. That's it! Gelato to me's fucking guys. That's a fuck. Yeah, I don't know.
That's it.
Jolato to me is more fancy.
That's a European thing.
Jolato.
It's like $10 more.
I don't even like going into the store.
Fucking comedy best.
I was slacking.
Fucking Mussolini, let me get a juggling.
I was slightly off.
Fucking grease balls.
Keep your eyes off my wife.
Wait, keep my wallet in my hand at all times.
I can pick back in here.
Trust them as far as I can throw them.
It uses cream and milk, but less cream and more milk
than ice cream.
Really?
Yes.
It's much creamier and flavor flavorful than ice cream I think.
Sure.
Awesome.
Delatos.
Great.
So you're in there.
We're in there.
Nice joint.
We're in there and we go in and they're known.
It is a little hoidy toy.
It ain't like a chocolate vanilla fucking.
It's not it's not that it's not the basics with like hey
We got a mint chocolate chip in a rocky road honey and rose pep
Honey and rose
Habiscus in this
Fig and olive
Very and it's just not my cup of tea. Don't the bird loves it. Did you get something? No, I don't you don't I had I've had it
She goes a lot. I don't like it kind of her guilty pledge okay
So we're in there. There's maybe
There's a couple one or two people in front of us right, you know, and then like one groups together
It's called two three people. Okay, then a younger couple
mid-twenties maybe, guy in a gal.
Don't know how long they've been dating.
Early dating vibes, it seemed.
It wasn't like, they weren't super lobby-dovey,
and they weren't to the point where like,
they were still engaged.
Like, yeah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah,
not just like, oh, we're doing a little schmoopy.
A little bit, but like, she wasn't super into it.
Either way, that was just my take.
I don't know, that doesn't have anything to do.
I mean, I thought to do it later for sure.
Maybe they weren't together at all.
So then me and my wife, I'm not ordering, she's ordering,
and then I think like one or two other people behind,
pretty busy, but you know, a nice flow of customers, got it.
As the couple, the couple in front of us is getting up to go up.
He goes, hey, listen, uh,
what I do respect, he goes, we're going to get some samples.
He turns around to you and says this.
If you guys want to go in front of us,
and I'm a woman.
Nah, my head's far, I'm ahead of like, all right, what's it?
It's going to be 40 seconds.
You know what I mean? I get five. I'm in no rush. I'm ahead of like, all right, what's it? It's gonna be 40 seconds. You know what I mean?
I get five. I'm in a rush. I'm hanging.
Why are you gonna get samples?
Maybe what maybe the bird was gonna try one. They're big on the samples. They got the things there and because they changed the flavor so
Frequently and they are so unique. It's like he's not I get that he's not
Asking for vanilla or whatever and like let me taste the vanilla. Well you're gonna get a sample.
I wasn't getting a sample.
You're not gonna touch nothing.
No, I was-
You're gonna gelato place,
your wife's getting something.
You're not gonna get a little cup.
I already had my dessert.
Which was?
Heaters. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Bathers me a little more than anything else you're about to tell me yeah, cuz you don't like me But what is it you don't get nothing? I don't like ice cream. That's not my it's what
You're there yes you cuz then she gets to have you what bite of yours. It's not all about you Kevin
What what what what what what no listen? I would rather spend
Those calories having beers. I'd rather have a cocktail after dinner.
Did you get the number of the kid in front of you?
I mean, we're gonna have him here.
He here, I hang out with him.
Shit, who are you?
He'd be kidding me.
Fucking bother him all day.
Here's a sample of these.
Try some.
That's even trashier to get a sample and not eat it.
I've had it, I just don't eat ice cream every fucking three days.
Okay.
That's normal.
But this seems like it could have been a nice little treat. You know what the treat was?
Fucking beers and heaters.
And heaters after the ice cream.
I bet you're for her.
It's a nice treat if you get it too.
You can try hers, she can try yours.
Okay.
But go ahead.
No, because now you're not on my ear, now you're on your side.
No, you're not. You already invited your side. No, you're not.
You're already invited the guy I don't like to come do the shit.
You don't like him.
Well, how, what is the, my, my, what is the acceptable amount of flavor testings?
I mean, I don't know.
It a place like that.
Listen, where we come from.
There, but there's, there's people behind you and I will give you that he did offer,
but there's at least when we started, but there's people behind you and I will give you that he did offer, but there's at least
when we started
another one or two people behind. There's a line.
Where we come from
No, I contact and give me whatever's cheapest.
The one or two, you know? I mean, what are you doing?
One or two. I feel like three max.
Three max. Three max. Three max.
That's pretty good because it's not like, I mean when you you have an idea of what you want kind of gun it
You gotta be in the war. You gotta be in the mood for you gotta be between two or three. I'll give you three
I'm not let you chocolatey something fruity something, but you know you have
I don't know what people are assholes. Seven, the number was seven.
Each?
No, him.
Oh, no, he had seven.
I think she had, well, I was not
in Constraint on Herodon.
Now was he going around with the questions
and was, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and,
well, what's that?
He would do one at a time.
I don't think so.
Oh, you don't think so.
Next one.
They're first of all, they're all,
then he was going, maybe, maybe that. maybe that well like he was put in another pile
Now, well, let's table that and come back to it. What are you?
Fuckin I had about five IPA's in me so I was a little hang who's this guy Lenny brisco?
What the fuck you do it man? No, that's crazy. I'll give you seven's a lot seven's a lot
give you sevens a lot sevens a lot sevens a lot sevens a lot sevens a lot to do to the fucking guy behind the counter no can no can no care for the guy no care for the guy
because I mentioned those poor sea turtles throwing all these tiny spoons in the ocean
I know they are not nice little coax boots five-seated movies they ever see a snapper on
coke yes the way I look at that I I mean, I'm a fat pig.
And-
But there's a courtesy involved.
It's well established that I'm the kind of guy that,
I mean, I'll take anything, really.
You know what I mean?
Sure.
So like, I could just go in there blind.
What do you,
unless you're like, I hate rhubarb,
don't give me the rhubarb.
What'd I do?
Yeah, I don't think I do.
I just doesn't add a lot to it.
My mom bought a cherry rhubarb, which I do. Yeah, I don't think a lot of people. I just doesn't add a lot to it. My mom bought a cherry rhubarb pie home one time by mistake.
You really crucified her.
It was really just bad.
I didn't even know what rhubarb is.
Rude to be not fucking mean to your mom when she tries to get you
to say, the hell is this?
Patty!
He's telling me times they're gonna tell you I like rhubarb.
Start shaking her keys.
I think you got somebody to go. You better hurry up times they're gonna tell you. I don't like rhubarb. Start shaking her keys. You got somebody to go.
Get me a blue.
You better hurry up.
They close in 15 minutes.
I'll call and tell him that fucking leave the light on for you.
Otherwise, I go into school tomorrow with a black eye.
Seven's a lot.
Seven's too many.
I would say it's three.
Yeah, three is three.
Because it is a certain number.
It feels like you're trying to.
What does Dick had get? I remember. No, I is three is good. Because it is a certain number, it feels like you're trying to- What does Dickhead get?
I remember.
No, I was so, I was seeing blind, it was red,
because I was seeing a breed.
How long are we talking?
How long did this take?
Five minutes?
No, minutes, minutes.
But there's, uh-
He did give you the out though.
But then there was still people behind them,
like behind me.
Like there's a constant flow of people coming in.
Yeah.
And you're jamming them up and you're also jamming the guy,
the guy's in the weeds.
Now he's got a line that's fucking right.
Was the guy officially in the weeds?
He was on the border of the weeds.
Plus I'm at seven free samples.
Now you're fucking with this bottom line.
I know, that's enough.
Which hey, listen, if it was a big corporation,
Costco, whatever, ransacked a joint.
Take fucking, you know, take costumes, put it in a big corporation, Costco, whatever, ransacked the joint, take, fucking, you know,
take costumes, put up my fake mustache on,
go get more and more and more.
They got to give those out.
Seven, that's like a small.
He already got a, he's already got a free cup.
That is.
See what I'm saying?
That's trashy behavior in my book.
Yeah.
I do respect the app.
Howdy was not big on the
tri in it when we were kids we were not allowed you got one maybe maybe and it had to be like
fucking it had to be new or something it had to be something you ain't never heard of before
had to be something off the wall yeah we weren't trying the fucking strawberry you know I
I yeah no it had to be fucking dip in dots.
Maybe you could trust something like that.
Never had them.
If they were, it's one, it's different if they're giving out samples.
If they got to try a samples, you can ransack that.
Ransack it all you want.
So, what the guy's got to take the lid off, fucking scoop in, hand it, and then the ball.
And then he does the palette.
And then he does the palette.
And then he does the palette.
And then he does the palette. And then he does the palette. And then he does the palette. And then he does the palette. And then he does the palette balls of like, I don't think so for a fucking
scoop ice cream. Come on, dude, gelato, whatever. That's that that's up there with someone
who tries the line and then sends it back to me. Like, who's doing that? But is that I don't
know. That's not I don't live in that world. We've talked about this. That that doesn't
work. You can't do that. That's why that's all bullshit. That's why when they try to do that, when I'm at dinner, the bird gets mad at me because I'm like, first of all, if we order the wine after we order, okay?
You got a big thing with this that you do.
We got drinks, so just open the wine and leave it on the table. That's all you got gotta do. We'll pour it when we're ready to have dinner.
You don't gotta fuck.
He's already tense talking about it.
You're talking to him like he's the goddamn help.
Fuckin' don't touch my bottle of wine.
It's not that.
It's, I don't want, you're not using me as the spectacle.
All right, I'm not the hood of the car
at the fucking state there.
Cause we were at this place one time
and it was like a cheap bottle of wine
and they try to do the fucking decanter. everyone's looking at us, I'm like you
don't gotta do that. But the only way you can send the wine back is if it's
corked and if it's corked, everyone's gonna know because the cork's gonna be
fucked up, the wine's gonna taste like shit and it's gonna look weird. You can't
just say oh no I don't like this and then they have a bottle of wine that they
only sell by the bottle not by the glass
Kim can't I don't I'm I'm I understand etiquette wise, but can you say no?
I don't want it if it's not cool. I don't think so I
Mean then what's the point you're gonna get a lot of pushback
Right that's I'm assuming and like no one knows anything about wine to be like well the notes of this and that
Sure, I'm just saying let's live in that world. Can't you say I don't like it?
Let's live in that world with this person who's ordering this bottle of wine has no qualms
It's a dickhead this fucking punk is probably this fucking punk kid
He's gonna strike out on this date. Is there a is there a she get any samples? I you asked me
I think well nothing to the point standard if any if if any standard one to what a fucking I like the kid
Saying go ahead ahead of it. I said and I thought I was like oh nobody take your time
I was more offended for the guy working than me. I got nowhere to go. I'm drunk. I got a pack of heaters
I'm going you're putting this you're making this guy jump through hoops. Yes
So you can look so you can look like a fucking aficionado and front of your fucking also that makes you look like a bozo in the
trance. You're in here with if you're trying to because a girl you found at the gray
hound station.
Trying to press her with some gelato. Fucking pieces. Yeah. Yeah. I to me it's more like one
year embarrassing yourself in front of what seemed to be an early relationship. Yeah.
You go yeah, I'll tell you how I'll taste one I'll taste one. I'll taste when you're tasting.
I'll take the job.
I'd love to get a lady's opinion on that.
Is that something that would bother a lady?
Of like, if you were on a date.
If you were out with somebody.
I'm sure that's a big,
and they got to say.
And you went to a gelato place
and they got seven samples.
Which this is a big thing, you know what I mean?
This has been going on.
I mean, people abusing the samples.
Sure. Which like I said, if there's have triacamples abuse it all day long, You know what I mean this has been going on. I mean people abusing the samples sure you know
Which like I said if there's have triassamples abuse it all day long rip these corporate scumbags off for sure
Do that put this poor guy shucking fucking gelato. Yeah, you ever scoop ice cream?
No, I have but not in not in front of the scene behind the scene
No, I have, but not in front of the scene, behind the scene, at like bear burger, we had to make shakes and stuff.
It ain't easy.
No, you get those hard.
You get those four arms.
Dude, it's hard.
And when you have to do it under pressure in front of fucking people, especially when
they're being fucking pricks about it, it's saying, ain't easy.
What'd you find out about the wine?
So can I send the next one back?
So the, what I've found never I relax. So this is this
a pretty extensive article. I took a whole bottle of white wine to my head and fucking indie
because I ordered the wrong wine. Yeah, don't I think that's a punishment for the fuck. I had
a jug of whole bottle of wine to make an ass out of myself. Yeah, whole fuck. This says what you
are not doing is tasting the wine to see if it's just right for you tonight. Yes, I'll fuck. This says, what you are not doing is tasting the wine to see if
it's just right for you tonight. Yes. The only acceptable reason to reject wine is
falseness, full stop. So if it takes quirky or it's gone bad. Yes. Otherwise you just,
you have to say yes, I'm taking it. You take that. Oh, that sucks. Thanks a lot.
Yeah. A lot of people don't. They try to be fucking dickheads about it to be a dick. I don't want you to have to go through this fucking sharad, okay?
Fucking poor, herreglass, if there's no drinks,
poor, herreglass, poor me a glass.
I don't need to taste it.
I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about.
And I got news for you and neither to you.
So, not you, specifically.
This is all directed at me.
This is all directed at me.
This is all directed at me.
I'm not doing it to you.
I'm not doing it to you.
I'm not doing it to you. I'm not doing it to you. I'm not doing it to you. I'm not doing it to you. I'm not doing to taste it. I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about. I know, but I- And I got news for you, neither to you.
So, not you, specifically.
This is all directed at me.
This is also, that's such a funny sentence,
because I've been with you at multiple occasions at restaurants,
where you've been looking at wine and said, out loud,
I know what I'm doing.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, I know what I'm doing.
Dude, you try to throw it in my face all the time.
I know what I'm doing to a degree.
No.
No.
No. I worked in fine dining for to a degree. No. No.
I do.
I worked in fine dining for fucking 15 years.
You worked at Bareburger.
I can't do Joe said you don't know.
That was at the end of my career.
Ha ha ha.
Those were my casual years.
I was haphrathired and had a lot of fun.
I just needed a guy out of the house.
So what the do?
Just need to get out of the house.
A wife nagging me.
I have a general knowledge of wine
Now say that you ordered a red you ordered a white wine thing and it was red that's something I would do
I make mistakes. I admit I admit
Okay, and I fucking house put like a goddamn man. I didn't go crying to the fucking server working on something
I said that no one said that but also at the same time of like
That's that guy's job whether you like this is awful No one said that, no one said that. But also at the same time of like,
that's that guy's job, whether you like... This is awful.
It's gotta be Poland's print.
At the same time.
Paste and wine, shut up.
That's that guy's job.
Whether you're entering into a social con,
you're the only one going, don't do this whole thing.
Is this a Malayay?
Yeah, that's their job.
And you're going to a nicer restaurant and you're ordering a bottle of wine where someone's gonna come over and tell you're the only one going, don't do this. The Somali A? Yeah, that's their job. And you're going to a nicer restaurant
and you're ordering a bottle of wine
where someone's gonna come over
and tell you about the bottle of wine.
That's the rub, baby.
That's those are the tricks.
I also, I don't believe in the cantering
unless it's a certain amount of money
which I'm not fucking getting.
I know, but-
You buy a thousand dollar bottle of wine
that's fucking 20 years old.
Sure, you wanna get some air into it.
I know, but that's also like your go
You're I'm not saying you're wrong. I'm just saying you're that that's that guy's job to go here
And like this is what this is a service we provide for the people the buy bottles of wine
So you can't get like your feathers ruffled when they when they try to do their job at the same time
You know what I mean? But that argument could go back to the fucking kid pool scoop on the ice cream
That's part of his job and you got your feathers ruffled
Ah
No, that's yes, that's a part of his job part of his job is to give samples. Yeah, that that
Somalia's job is to pour your what that's his job and so is his job, but you see my argument
No, it'd be one thing if you asked to sample the wine and
That's seven times. Yeah, which I wouldn't do
I don't think you can sample my guy a shoe. Yeah piggyback a fucking couple boy
I'm gonna cab chaser. You get three fingers of Pino, huh? No, that is the his main job
I understand this is an auxiliary thing to the the scooper to see that the ice cream scooper does yes
I don't need to be doing this what ice cream scooper that the ice cream scooper does yes I don't need to be
doing this what ice cream scooper would say that yeah but he does he's got
it's got fucking man you gotta get his weed money you know seven I wish
you knew what he got yeah I don't know I was furious I was the perfect amount
of drunk and
Baffled by this. Yeah a little bit of a dickhead move gang. This is Helix mattress
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I'll back the show.
In that same vein, just a reverse side of it.
You got any gelato on you?
I got it.
I go to the deli counter at my local grocer on Sunday
to get a little brajuda di Parma.
All right, little brajuta.
Okay, thin slice is how we take him to the Foley household.
Usually to thick slice, that's a ball, usually pretty thin.
Who to parma ham?
What?
Parma ham?
But do people do it thin?
No, I'm saying it's always thin.
I'm saying it's always thin.
Yeah, but you say thin.
You still say thin.
Okay.
I don't know this kid. You may not know the fuck he's doing. Let me get it, let me get an oink or though it's always thin. Yeah, but you say thin you still say thin. Okay. I don't know this kid
You may not know the fuck he's doing
Let me get a let me get an oaker though. It's all no Zempix, but this guy comes up and this is what he does
You ready? I'm just gonna show you doesn't say hey whatever just comes up
Oh the tap on the table hang on you ready. I didn't know what he was doing
Because I was in a good mood. Oh, that's an o table. Hang on, you ready? I didn't know what he was doing.
Because I was in a good mood.
Oh, that's an oz-empty perp.
And he goes,
he's leaning in with the year over the counter.
And I'm like, the fucking, I thought he was like,
looking at something.
Tapin'.
Does that?
And he goes, you want something?
Oh, wait, he's on the other side of the counter.
He's the guy, he's the fucking slicer.
I thought he was on your side.
No.
No.
I thought he was a jerk off customer being like,
what do you want?
No.
Or what can I get?
No.
This guy came over and said something.
I said something.
That guy came over and, whoa.
Yeah.
Having a rough day, I guess.
Sure.
Been there.
Yeah. No, how you doing?
No, how you doing?
What can I get you?
I just, I was just so taken aback.
I didn't want to be like, let me get a,
because I didn't know that I was getting the,
let me get seven samples.
Let me try to board it.
Let me try the Deets and Watts, a couple of blazing buffalos.
No, I don't want anything.
It's just making a sandwich. You got two slices, no, no, I don't want anything. Just making a sandwich up.
You got two slices of bread. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Have you ever done the grocery store beverage sample? I'm talking about slugging a little bevy
and then popping it back on the shelf as your cruising.
What are you drinking?
Warm soda?
Well, you can pull from the thing.
And that's front?
But that stuff, because you're going up by,
that you're flying by the tower.
You're flying by all the staff,
grabbing a pet, no one's watching,
as a cashier.
That's fucked up.
Do you do that?
Not in years, but I have,
especially those like lemon ginger shooters. I'll get myself a little a little a little
immunity boost you stealing hippie I'm going in the frozen food section it's
freezing over there I'm gonna catch a cold now never stole never a big
stealer one or two things as young and dumb, but you never never never know
I always there I've said this before I have such I would have so much shame
Getting caught and then also like my parents of being like you're stealing fucking whatever
I've told you but man two kids in high school these two twins fucking my senior year their junior year
Their mom got popped in the grocery store stealing lunch meat
They would jammed up though I had a kid I knew a kid and I ridiculed them still yeah, I mean hey
He had to your mid-built character at that point
I had a kid stealing credit cards all right
He like works somewhere and people would call it like it was like a smaller,
it wasn't like a hotline. It was like I'm making this up a local florist or something.
He'd be like, yeah, put it on my credit card. And he would write down the number then
take it and just put like 20 bucks a gas here. You know, hey, then he was started being
like, Hey, give me 50 bucks. I'll fill up your tank. If it costs 80 bucks or, you know,
started skimming. It's working. But then all these card charges are like, what the
somebody was just like oh they've all
been charged and somebody linked it together to Jenny's flowers.
And then they they had on him on like every fucking gas station video.
Just like filling people's things up.
I was like, damn.
We're like fucking 16 too.
Alright.
He's going for it.
I like a nice florist. You send flowers
Luckily my wife's not a big flower gal
I have to hurt but to other people what it's nice to send who my Goumore
Who else am I sending flowers to who?
Who won't besides my wife who would I be sending flowers to I don't know I've sent flowers in the last couple of months to who?
My mom I cousin
Couple people send flowers. Okay. I say you some flowers. Yeah, no nice you
No, only a lady I was
Dating I get well, I wouldn't call it that you'll alarm a hammin
Slice thick You will par my hammin? It's slice thick. Yeah.
Beat me to it.
Kids good.
I would, you know, I have a couple times, but never, it's not her cup of tea.
Yeah, flour is nice.
Sure, never was never big on it.
Yeah, I feel like the only time my dad or stepdad would get them for my mom
or my stepdad would be valentine like the standard Valentine's Day birthday anniversary.
Sure. You know, gotcha. Later on, I'm gonna need to name that gelato place. Sure.
Sure. Just to check it out. This way I get a better. It would, it would fucking blow
your tits off. It's good. I mean, are we talking about like unrecognizable flavors?
Would you say?
What do you mean?
Like where you have to try it?
Wasabi or something.
Yeah, shit like that.
Like is that kind of what we're talking?
I mean, seven still fucking.
That's too many.
I've listened.
I know you're actually.
Especially for a busy night.
Just fucking get something dickhead. try it out and come back.
You know what I mean?
Send a pro about.
Yeah.
But they're good.
They're real good.
All right.
Whatever gang.
This is a goddamn family episode.
I'm trying to be talking about Gelato.
We gotta goddamn program to do.
We guys, and you know when you sign up for the Patreon,
we will answer your garbage question.
Onnier, just the best way to do it.
We get a lot of submissions,
but as always, the fucking homies get the first fucking crack
at it.
So let's get into it.
This one's from Big O.
Shout out to you.
Since summer's about to be over,
I'm waiting until next summer to fix my car's AC.
Lil' jammed up.
I respect that.
That's a, that's a, yeah.
You don't need that for,
you can kick that can down the road nine months.
Sure.
Right, why, I mean AC's on cheap either, right?
It depends what it is.
It can be like a G hot, I feel.
Radiator, something like that.
Could just be out of free on.
That ain't that much.
Yeah, yeah, but a lot I mean yeah
but still get that car detailed at least because you've been sweating all over those seats
throw an air freshener in there you went to the whole summer that's good thinking T-bone
spend the money wisely yeah yeah yeah so do something you don't have to replace the whole thing
but make it make it make it present a get some of that zone hose or whatever it was called in there. Remember the no-o's yeah, I was yeah
That really hit the weed scene hard ozium. Oh, oh, yeah, it smells like oranges
It was all right. I mean yeah
At first when I was banging this is fucking mid 90s
You had to know somebody that worked at a fucking car wash to get it.
It was not fucking on the street. Not for retail sale.
No. That was in, yeah, I have a license.
Yeah. You had to have, you had to have, you had to know somebody that worked in a car wash
to get it. And it made a world of difference.
Better than the fucking paper towel through the air freshener. Spoof. Spoof in it.
Yeah. Spoof in it. Spoof in it.
Yeah, I don't think we ever had a name for this.
Steam rollin' it or something like that.
Maybe we called it.
That would fucking, man, an R.A. wouldn't know what to do.
It smells like orange, it is.
There was a thing, a friend of mine, a friend of the show found out,
we would smoke weed in his room.
And you could just, and I would be curious
for people to try this now, because it sounds crazy.
You just take a normal hit and then, you know,
like, we called it ghost in it.
You kind of hold it till it disappears.
Sure. And then like, blow a little bit of it out,
you know, also known as zeroing.
Zero, it's like, yeah, we can smoke in the house.
You just gotta ghost it type thing and like, blow the remnant, whatever's left out the window, you know. Also known as zeroing. Zero, it's like, yeah, we can smoke in the house. You just gotta ghost it type thing.
And like, blow the remnant, whatever's left out the window,
you know, something.
But they would blow it into the mattress of his bed.
And like the mattress would just absorb
like all the foam and stuff, just like,
and that's pretty good.
That's not bad.
Why does your bed smell like cypress hill?
Yeah, I'm just taking ribs from the bottom.
That's pretty good.
You open the door, you just hear the bubbler sound
Yeah, you just they would go bed it and like you're probably like 15 or whatever and you're
And it would just never come out. That's pretty good. That's not bad. Yeah, man
That or a pillow I think would work or something like that. I don't think a pillow is tight
I'm sure it helps, but I don't think a pillow is tight enough, you know.
Sure, I don't know.
Couch cushion'd be perfect.
Same thing, same thing as a bed, you know.
Then your dad flops down on it.
What the fuck?
Hey, you got reefer butt.
Ooh girl, you got that reefer butt.
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
Uh, all right, let's see here.
Uh, this one, this is a cold pizza criss-tangler home.
You never have one red.
Cold pizza criss is all right.
CPCs are right.
Yeah, is it garbage if you bring your own red pizza delivery bag
Amazon purchase when you pick up takeout food because you live in a royal area
And get sick of your food being cold by the time you get home man pro move. I like it pro move for what?
What I like you we clap dude
Come on that's tight that's nice. We did hear something you work here
Nope pick up for Zach.
Uber Eats for Zach.
My thing is someone did mention this before they were in Uber Eats or like a seamless driver
and you get a bag.
Because I got the bag.
You get like a whole thing when I was doing the box bag.
What was I doing seamless?
Or I think I was doing seamless or starch.
I was doing door dash.
They sent you like a door dash hat, a red t shirt and the food.
You wear that stuff.
No, it got there late.
Got in a gun to end it all.
Man, dude, you know what somebody said?
Someone said for one of the Patreon, it was so good.
For one of the Patreon, for one of the next Patreon goals,
I should have to reopen my door dash account
and do all the deliveries with me and him and just mic the fucking car.
I will 100% do that with you.
Well, just we'll just go to a town and jerk.
But wouldn't we scare people if two guys walked up to the house?
No, a lot of times you just leave it and take the picture when I was doing it.
Once I've I got to an Uber and the lady who was supposed to be driving was in the passenger seat and her boyfriend was driving.
Oh, that happens a lot out of dude driving. Oh, that happens a lot.
Out of dude, out in New York, that happens a lot.
We were in Atlanta, I got McDonald's,
you remember, it was,
these a carful adude smoke and a blunt rolled up
and handed me my bag that for sure had been gone through.
Like the sticker wasn't see it,
it was like crumbled up at the top,
they were like, here you go, bro, I'm like, fuck. Sweet and sour, man, huh? I was like crumbled up at the top. They were like here you go, bro I'm like fuck sweet and sour man, huh?
I was like, I'm still eight than none
That's all right, but um the move is
You turn the oven on and you he wouldn't you heat it up get it real crispy
Great, it's great. I don't like that. You don't like that. I've never done it.
I don't see the reason to do it. Like what is it? A pizza or you talk about anything? No,
if you get the pizza back in it and it's it's a little lukewarm. You throw it in the oven.
Crank it up. Get it real crispy. Maybe. Yeah. I'm not I'm not against it. I just that's not my
not my vibe. Listen, Chris knows what he's doing. Yeah, the car's like,
I'm not going against that.
That guy's splitting the garbage out on out there.
That's amazing.
Yes.
The fourth thought of how many times
you think he fucking sat there like, man, fuck.
I can just, and then realize,
I can just buy this fucking bag.
Mm-hmm.
Remember when Domino's, I don't know if they still did it,
but they had the one that would plug into the car
and keep it at like, it plugged into the cigarette outlet.
Keep it smoking high.
And keep, it would not only did it just retain the heat, it and keep it at like it plugged into the cigarette outlet. Keep it smoking high.
It would not only did it just retain the heat, it fucking will.
They'd gone through so many ways.
Which I respect.
Dave, or they never stop trying.
No, they don't.
And that's I genuinely respect Domino's fat to go.
We're trying to make it, we're trying to get it to you quicker as better and everything
is possible.
You see what they're doing now?
They have like there.
You can drive anywhere on the, if you have the app,
they'll deliver to any point.
They'll come out to like, the side of a fucking
in-er-mural baseball game.
No kidding.
As long as you can drop the point in the map,
they'll get in the park, they'll get in the park,
they'll be there, whatever.
And don't they start to have their own cars now?
Where it's like a dominoes one, Biel,
where in the back they have like,
almost like pizza, warmers or ovens?
100%. Really? Dude, I never thought about this until now Domino's stays innovating
The best that that tracker
Wildly accurate so yeah, so actor. Yeah, I like no one. It's going in the oven
Pizza they doing that I don't think so. No. Also, I have such a one, I love obviously, but I want-
Pizza Hut should make a hard turn and just fucking reopen the restaurants and just fucking give it a shot and see what happens.
I don't disagree, the nostalgia thing, nostalgia is big, everybody's doing the nostalgia.
So many people, I would go just for the fucking nostalgia of it.
But I feel like-
You put money.
You put four in the tri-state.
I think I think I can.
But do pizza Hut's not worried about four locations
in the tri-state area.
Try it out.
Give me a fucking test market.
I'm sure there's something that's still open.
I know.
I know, but they don't talk about it.
They don't advertise them.
That's how you fucking beat Dominos.
Are you?
Because let me tell you something,
then you start fucking selling.
Now everybody wants it.
If I go to a pizza and have it, I go, I forgot how good this is.
Let's order that next time.
Like we're on the road and you're jammed up if you have the option.
Can you see if pizza's are franchisees or if they're all owned?
Dominos are.
Dominos are probably franchisees.
But there's got to be something from a business standpoint
of where they all just go is like the takeouts.
You know what I mean?
That's probably the money maker.
There's a new guy creep it up.
Mel's or Mike's pizza is a franchise.
Are they?
Maybe that's why they're not doing it.
Well, maybe they weren't back in the day.
They weren't franchise and they started franchising.
But you know how we feel about franchises.
Killer.
Oh, you know what it was?
Killer of a corporation.
What was the franchise that kept hitting me up in your name?
Remember?
It was like a salad works or something like that.
I started seeing them.
They're popping up.
I'm not going to remember what that was.
Was it crazy mose or something like that?
Maybe.
I don't remember.
But there's a new pizza.
Like it can cost you up to $2.1 million
to open up your pizza franchise.
Oh no, it's wild.
And you need to have more money and assets in the bank
in case that fails that they then take.
It's crazy.
See if Domino's or see if pizza owns any of their stores.
They I'm sure they may own some of them too.
Like it's a corporate one.
Nothing really.
Listen, that would be, now you can't fucking bang people over the head either.
You got a fucking you got to keep.
Very okey mad this.
I saw one on route one not too long ago.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Should go in and try it out.
Come in.
You're working there.
You son of a bitch.
Well, that's how, that's how Shaq got us at Bear Burger.
Shaq came in with like 30 people sat down, ordered everything, literally everything.
And said, I'm thinking about opening one of these,
fucking on the house.
Of course.
Did he end up getting into it?
I don't think so.
I wanna scan.
That's what I'm saying.
We go to Terry Acky-Man and say, yeah, we're,
I'm that guy you've been emailing?
Yeah.
We're thinking about franchising.
I'm a local.
We wanted to come in and see what you see.
What you got, come in.
This is my partner, HWF, please. We go down to town, open up franchise. Terry, I can't tell any man pizza hot.
You can't bang people out though. You get the cops, you get to crush dice. I'm in. I'm
in the salad bar back up to some degree. Mm hmm. Totally in pan pizza. All right. Let's
some people to work. What are we doing here? Be fucking awesome.
A Friday night, that place would be fucking mobbed. You could do it in one of the parking lots of the malls.
How old, you know, the bonefish grills and the fucking BMP gangs.
They did like a big one. Dude, it would be fucking packed through a couple of fucking arcade games.
Me a claw machine up front. They used to serve the host Hill which was great really. Oh, yeah
Pictures right pictures, and I think I would always met my dad getting a mickalobe
Is it beer with the foil top?
Chuckie cheese serves beer. Yeah, that's right a lot of fights happen. Yeah trouble. Yeah, there was a Minnesota the number one
Place for bar fights for like three years running with some Chuckie cheese the middle of nowhere
People go without kids walking and cracking their knuckles and shit. All right, let's go
Bring it back we can get back there. We could we really could
All right, let's see this so this one's from bumping into bitches damn. That's a deep cut
First time cash in in my $10 homie chip.
There you go.
We were just talking about this.
Is a garbage, you hit up a Costco for free samples on your lunch break when you're hemmed
up between checks, completely respected.
Yes.
Costco, it's for the taking, it's laid out there, they want you to take it, that's totally
fine.
And that's the whole motto of the guy that started Costco.
Like when they wanted to raise the price of the hot dogs
and a pizza or whatever it was, he shut them down.
He said, no.
Myth.
Real.
Yeah, that just came out.
Yeah.
It's what's known in the biz as a loss leader.
Yes.
It's because not everything in Costco is a good deal.
But some of you can get good deals there,
but not everything is.
But they want you to think, man, we walk right in,
you see that hot dog deal, you go, man, everything in here is a deal.
I'm getting 65 boxes of mac and cheese.
Yeah.
Okay.
That's the same thing they do at Walmart,
is they do like, you're looking at a $10 toaster,
a $20 toaster, and a $30 toaster, or whatever it is.
You know, and you're like, well, I don't know,
I'm not going to get the most expensive one.
I'm not a fucking Rockefeller,
but I don't want this fucking $10 piece of shit.
I'm gonna get the $20 toaster.
And that $20 toaster is the same price as the $10 toaster.
So you're just fucking giving them
an extra 10 beans in their pocket.
That's how they get you.
Yeah, they've got to.
But I don't think they still don't think Costco minds that.
No, they want, they want to.
Cause you're a cost, you're gonna be a,
when that check clears, you're coming to Costco. They want you to soon. They want you on the lot.
They if you're in there they're gonna if you're in there from every once to two
three days once a week once a month they're getting their monies where they
don't care. Yeah. Because then you're walking on going oh when my check
clears fucking getting that you know it's always chicken patties is what they're
giving away. Some type of frozen breaded chicken. Love it, CP.
Sure.
Did I ever tell you when I was in college,
my mom was,
it's forgotten.
It's been forgotten.
We talked about it not to the weaver,
the blue weaver box.
Yeah, tightly we were Tyson.
Red.
Yeah, we were, no, we were a weaver, a weaver family.
Do you remember market day?
What?
My school never did it, but I remember other people doing it. Or like softball teams, or it was like a fundraising thing.
Like a catalog fundraising thing.
We had a bunch of shit like that.
We did Easter candy.
Yeah, and you would get like the, there would be like a Christmas book and you order like
handwritten order for fucking Whitman samplers and I'm gonna get weird that they had us
doing that shit.
You know what? Oh, this is so weird. We always gave had us doing that you know what oh this is so we always
Gays me a headache. You know what they're doing now what I just got a text from my nephew what like a number 7298474
I've gotten that for hey here's a link for so and so for this school
Can you donate or buy something from the store and I'm like soft I said on the screen shot
I said on my sister. I'm like is this fucking this is some sort of scam or something
She's like not absolute. That's what they do now instead of like the school stores or the fundraiser. Yeah, I
Do get that stiff them sure
That was that always gave me a headache because I was so impressionable that they suckered me in
They would be they would bring in an adult like some salesman would come into an assembly.
With like the short sleeve shirt and the tie and give you the full pitch and give you the full pitch and talking about candy.
And you'd have samples of the candy and showing you picture the candy and go get your parents to buy the candy.
Bubba you go. and you're sitting there like I could call and it's you and they would do it at like
seven days period when you're starving
and you're fucking crashing from lunch.
You know what I mean?
You're almost out the door and then you go home.
So you know you're involved in a boiler room.
You just got a bunch of phones in the basement.
I'm doing a pump and dump.
I'm like, look at it.
And who's on a fixed income?
I know.
Could you, could I get you to the $10 pledge?
Do you think Ant's doing?
I mean, Jesus Christ.
No, I know.
Don't do it, man.
You're all hopped up on the minutes.
I'm a bit of a star.
Doesn't it seem like that was fucked up to do?
Like, you're supposed to be educated.
I guess your teacher's other world works.
Sure.
Hey, rule number one, if you can't mark,
if you can't spot the whale in the first five minutes of the game. You're the well
Fucking you're the mark, baby. Man. What the fuck dude dude? They had us do it
You can hour your goddess doing this shit out there to cut kids peddle and they're fucking merged
That guy was getting a cut or that money go
Where did that money go? It's all pyramid scheme. It probably was. I don't remember ever seen a diamond hat.
No, I think it was like, you know-
It goes back into the school district.
I said, that's a fucking parents' head.
So, I've got them public school or payin' fucking taxes.
A lot of taxes, I know.
The fuck?
Um...
Who's getting that money? The superintendent?
I don't know.
It's crazy.
When you look back and think.
But we do this thing market day.
I never had it. And it might came across my mom's plate when she was some girls
She worked with her daughters. I don't know softball team or high school was doing it with same thing like you go through
But they had frozen foods
Okay, so we for a long time
This is gonna be trashy whatever it is. Oh, there's a frozen pizza company
out of Wooksbury, Pennsylvania.
I've mentioned to you before.
I wanna say Nardones or Moms or something.
Yes, and this is like a,
you gotta be a licensed dealer or something to it.
I don't know, but when those things came around,
those things sold themselves.
There was no catalog, there was no nothing. I think it was this,
right? Yes. Yes. There was a thing. There was like, I don't know, it was an authorized dealer,
or you had to have a list like the money was in the license, but those things would come across
once or twice a year, and you got, I'll take 10. I don't know if it was a fundraiser or just
nobody ever saw the money. No, I don't know where any of the money went
Nobody ever saw a fucking dime. I never got a cut. I
Don't know what the fuck we were selling the pizzas for
But it was nuts those things moved. Oh, yeah
Kids with sauce man forget about it. They were we were waiting on them
Girl scout cookies I get.
I don't like waiting on them though.
You know what I mean?
I was gonna wait on them.
Oh, I bought the instant gratification.
I buy them from the girls out to the bros.
I buy them.
These, always.
You pull up in your shop and cart.
I got them in my goat cart.
But.
Yeah, you get them from the kids.
At the grocery store. On the way out. Yeah, you get it from the kids at the grocery store.
On the way out.
Yeah, that's gone in the car.
Those carmo ones.
Tagalongs.
Oh, no.
We caught them something different when we were kids.
They're called Samoa's when we were kids.
Samoa's, yeah, with the coconut.
Yeah, I don't think you're gonna have to call them anymore.
To make sense. Samoa's when we were kids. Samoa's, yeah, with the coconut. Yeah. You don't have to call them that anymore, to make sense.
Samoa's.
Gotcha.
Yeah.
They call them caramel crunches or something like that now.
Dude, but this fucking this market day, I was in college.
Oh, yeah, I don't understand.
So it was like,
Is a catalog of frozen foods?
I get, or they had a bunch of stuff.
I never saw the catalog.
My mom was trying to support this girl or whatever and
My mom goes hey, I got a bunch of this food
It was like dude they were individually packed
Fucking boneless skinless fat-liss chicken breast
You know fucking pull two of them out throw them right on the George Foreman fucking I would toast frozen
Yeah, okay, I would toast fucking
Wait, you're in college. I mean, I'm living it up living like a fucking trap house. Okay, so there's an actual big frid
You didn't have these in the college boy. No, no, no, no, no, no, you're not wearing a lot of George
Foreman do fellows you got him in a foot locker with ice flips next to me sleeping with his eyes open
Shout out to you flip I see you out there.
I see you, Ramon.
Um, I think I'll walk in the yard.
Dude, so it started with those and then I was like,
you should be like, oh, here's a box of completely individual.
Like there was no cookin' no fest, no smell, no tell.
Scotch, you know what I mean? It was easy, busy.
And then the next time I came home,
she goes, I got you these.
Dude, they were breaded chicken cutlets
with a brown thing of salt all frozen.
I don't know how the sauce stayed.
It was like a,
imagine like a slice of provolone,
but tomato sauce on top of that.
And then a slice of provolone on top of that,
all individually wrapped.
Man, I take fucking one of those out of those packs.
Throw them in the microwave because you couldn't, I wasn't baking those, we never baking sheet.
Throw those in the microwave on two fucking pieces of white bread. Dude, I must to eat 15,000
dude, we couldn't keep them in. Man, my mom is, I'd call her like a week, she'd give me a box
to 40. I'd call her a week later later like, yo, I need to re up.
That's fucking call the plug.
Let's go.
How long did market day last?
I think she just started going.
She just might think my mom just started calling
market day and getting them fucking shipped in a crib.
Like Johnny Depp and Blow,
started flying a Sessentent in Mexico.
I'm on a win-a-bago, we even.
Woo!
We did it. a good kid here. Everybody gets three extra chicken balls if you bought chicken palm in the 90s
You've bought it from the piece
Holy shit, dude, I think about those
Honestly every three days if I go I get my hands on one of them right now.
I'd be alright.
Don't have any air fryer for fucking four minutes.
Good night.
The cheese would melt.
To the point where it'd get like a little hard on the plate.
Oh, I was fucking, man.
I loved, I loved me some frozen chicken, boy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. bottom of your shoes. I- The fuck? That's like you're getting a- What are you talking about?
You're getting a-
I'm a Marshall, see it.
That's where that is.
That's like, I've done it for sure.
And I have had it like three weeks later
like you still see like 14.99 or whatever.
Back into a dress shoes.
Gotta let everybody know I don't got it.
I put my feet up on every table.
Back in the day, what was your procedure?
How do I word this?
Because I was always having anxiety
of when I went in to close shop or sneaker shop.
In my head, the first thing is how much are they?
Oh, 100%.
Now, did you have any hesitation of just going in
and lifting them to tongue of the shoe?
I'm like, oh, fuck this. Or did you always want to look like you could afford them if you wanted them?
Yeah, for sure.
That's my first move is looking how much is it?
Yeah, but you can't fucking, you know, you gotta go, oh, these are cool.
You maybe do a little flat on it.
Okay, so you had that too.
And then actively turn it and be like, oh, one 88.
Put that back down.
You have anything in a discount, Rick.
What's that, a8, put that back down. You have anything in a discount, Rick.
What's that, a waffle, so jeez.
Hahaha.
I'll do a nine and a 10 if that'll take a little off the top.
Hahaha.
Is there a cash prize we can talk about?
What do you got in the floor model?
Uh huh.
Yeah, that's the...
Will you do that on sneakers?
Yeah, I still do that.
You do, you take the floor. Well now you go into
Bring that box out and there's only one in there like a fuck you look back up at the fucking wall
And there she is there and back yeah a little bit tinted from the sunlight
There was a big thing when I was in college. I want to say
When shoes that's like at least for me figure like early mid 2000s.
That's when shoes really started fucking becoming
like such a thing.
And a lot of these filly, a lot of places in the filly,
like super kicks, kicks USA, they were all individually owned,
but like, and they would get like these discount.
It was like a, they would have like seven good pairs
and then like 8,000 shitty
pairs.
And you would go and it would be like a pay less type thing of like, they'd all be there
than the boxes were under the thing and they did have like the nice Jordans or whatever.
Man, I remember going in, I wanted to pair a white con versus so bad in the summer and
it was like, you know, they were 50 bucks, I didn't have it or I probably had like 70
in my account.
I was like, I can't spend, you know,
Get some slightly yellow ones.
Dude, and there was mustard on this, on like the floor model, like actual like a fingerprint, like somebody,
It's probably in a soul of pretzel, and put a fingerprint mustard on it.
And I was so close to buying it, my friend was like, dude.
Could you have gotten it off?
No, it was in there.
Okay.
And he was also like, I'm not gonna let you live this down.
Like, the second you wear those to a party,
I'm calling you out immediately.
I was like, I'm fair enough.
They get to not buy shoes that day.
Yeah, we had Sneaker King back in the day.
Sneaker King.
It was all right.
Sounds all right.
It was great.
We used to have-
It smelled like you were in one giant brand new sneaker
when you walked in there.
Like that.
Love that.
We had Phil shoes.
That was like the one we went to in our town.
Local, Phil worked there, his son worked there.
It was good, you felt good.
My mom, I'll take you to Phil's, you get one pair.
And I think that's where the kids would get their,
the kids, my brother and sister would get their
Catholic school shoes.
Like you had to get like,
Phil was an authorized dealer forever.
So we always went there.
And then I remember when they closed,
when they closed and the epic video next to them closed,
I was like, man, times are fucking changing.
I'm moving into the corporate takeover.
When we lived in South Philly, I always wished,
I was around on Passchunk Avenue where like that
jeans place was big more not big marty's jeans world or some dental world. Yeah. When
those were popping I bet you those places were fucking awesome. I remember I've been in
some of them. Yeah. So it's weird. You bring that up because I thought of the stories.
I was telling that Pat's family is from down is all from South Philly. So that's weird, you bring that up because I thought of the stories I was telling that. Pat's family is from down, is all from South Philly.
So that's where they would grow.
I went with Pat and his dad and-
Who must have been alright?
He had to stop and get fucking clothes like pants patted.
Like in his dad's like, we're down here, this is where we're going.
And it was like fucking, you know, jiggleose jeans or whatever.
It was real fun. I actually shout out to big gay, to is where we're going. And it was like fucking, you know, jiggleose jeans or whatever.
It was real fun.
I actually shout out to BigGate, to my boy BigGay Ann.
This is Dad's Blaze, jiggleose.
Down there on Pat Junke.
The clothing store?
Yeah, it's called jiggleose.
That's awesome.
See if you can find jiggleose on Pat Junke.
I'm having a, my buddy Big Ann.
Welcome to adulterers, everybody.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
Do you like what you see? Closed. Closed closed closed yeah I think he sold it a couple years ago
but we were in college adulterers do you like what you see it's pretty good to you
do you like we adulterers don't tell nobody.
And he went there and I remember walking in there dude it was like
straight out of the fucking 70s straight out you walked in it was like an old woman
I got it was like fucking out of good fellow. Layton a roost. Yeah, it was all right
All right, let's see here. Let's do one more in it. We got a rapper up there gang
This one is from
Medicinal Crocs and compression socks shout out to the big man sure is a garbage if your sole purpose of working out is to hit more
Dinger's and slow pitch softball. No, that's all right. I respect that more than going. I don't know. I'm just a big juice head like a big meathead
Putting on numbers. You know what I mean? You're working towards something. There are a few things in life that feel as good as really connecting with one
Mm-hmm. I just never have
Connected him at a home run. I never hit a home run in your life
I mean never I never really played baseball you hit a home run and little league
Maybe one or two all right, so don't act like you're fucking
I didn't say that I didn't say that
Yeah, I put a couple deep though. I'll tell you that I know but the way you responded like you when you did 71 seasons
Yeah, fucking belko that
That's a good documentary you never hit a home run. I don't know with football
I mean wiffle ball you're not that's not a true home running with where it is
Wiffle balls heart way harder to hit than a saw
Yeah, but you're not playing on a
See is did you run around basis? That's a home run. Yeah, no, then that yeah, but I didn't play I fucking hated baseball
I didn't play baseball really that told me that was six
Hmm, I didn't have the upper body strength then I had to fucking torso. I could turn the hips
Turn my fat little ass little shorby, but no, I didn't I didn't play
I don't think I played past like kid pitch one year. Okay. Yeah, maybe one or two
In Little League where it was like proper over the fence fucking Gary bonds over here
Kid grog
So I respect the move I do too also, you know, it gives you something if that's what motivates you to get into shape sure
You'd be healthy cracking dingers and for the love of God stretch before the game the amount of blown out
Ancles and knees that come out of like adult softball. Yeah, do my brother. All right, my brother
He's like I'm playing soccer and mentally. I'm like first of all this is gonna what man
Like now. Yeah, that's first of all, this is gonna end. What, man. Like now?
Yeah.
That's crazy.
So Thor is ACL.
And you did?
Of course he did.
I'm like, just gonna end horribly.
No, no, no, no, I'm gonna bet you my life.
MCL RC had a surgery.
Really?
Yeah.
I didn't know that.
Uh huh.
It's a bummer.
And then another guy got knocked out.
I'm like, dude, that's how it is.
He's right, he's knocked out. He's yapping. He's like, yeah, you're how it is. It's right, it's right. It's not that.
It's yapping.
Yeah, you're too old to be doing it.
You got to take care of yourself.
Do soft balls a little different.
Soft balls different.
It's not that high impact.
You're not doing that much running.
No.
Oh, man, in Chicago in the summer, around 3 p.m., every single bar is full of dudes who look
like they just got jumped.
That ice on their neck.
All covered in mud dirt and stuff.
Yeah, dude.
It's a nice life, though.
That's fun.
I don't hate it.
Going to a local Chicago bar with your fucking
softball uniform on.
We were talking to fucking D'Rosa
about starting a Joey Roses team.
I would love that.
That would be fun.
Who would he play like?
They do have that show biz league.
They do? Like it's like a proper show biz league? Yeah, I know people in it. I would love that would be fun. Who would he play like they do have that showbiz league they do
Like it's probably a proper showbiz league. Yeah, I know people in it. Oh really for like Broadway plays
Yeah
Like they think they haven't fucking sign fell to those guys up. What are you talking like they haven't sign felt really?
Yeah
Couple of singers and dancers. Can they play probably I can't but
They're doing pureouettes around the bases
Yeah, you're you're built more for like kicking dirt on an umpires feet. I can manage you can manage
I don't know you know I don't know about baseball
You'd be a good first base coach if you can sit on a stool that could stand I'm losing the weight
I'd want third base because I want to fucking I bet you do
Third base finger poppin I don't know
I'd want to be able to wave people home and that'd be real loose with it
Go it that's gotta be the best feeling is a third-mate co-slocking.
Fucking send them home.
I was telling you to go!
We gotta wrap it up gang.
Gang, I'm gonna tell you this right now,
and I mean it from the bottom of my heart.
We absolutely love you.
And we'll see you next week.