Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Giulio Gallarotti: Tennis Trash

Episode Date: March 30, 2020

Comedian Giulio Gallarotti joins us this week on AYG. Giulio tells us about getting a tattoo from his friend Pete Davidson, wearing Ed Hardy shirts, and his purple Volkswagen.  You may know Giulo Gallarotti from touring with Pete Davidson, appearance on Ramy, or MTV, SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEW.

Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H Foley. Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's brand new favorite podcast, Are You Garbage? I'm your host H Foley, sitting here in my apartment in Astoria, Queens, waiting for the fucking militia to come and take me away.

And I'm coming at you from an undisclosed location, okay, 321 Coors Lake Boulevard in Wildwood, New Jersey. We got my co-host, the fucking brains behind the operation. He's got the satellite feet up and running. Ladies and gentlemen, Kippy, Kevin James Ryan, everyone. Hey, what's up everybody? Thanks for tuning in. We're still plugging along here, you know, we're gonna go suck a fat dick for long.

Yeah, we're still moving, still putting out episodes. Guys, while you're at it, please rate, review and subscribe on iTunes or Spotify, wherever you listen. Also, all the whole videos, all the whole episode's video will be up on YouTube. Check that out. Subscribe to that as well. Oh man, share with a fucking friend, you know what I mean? Tell somebody about it.

Let them know, gang. We really need it. We really appreciate it. And speaking of appreciated, do we have a fucking get for you today? Let me tell you something. The first time I came across this kid, he was running fucking cool shows down in the Lower East Side at a place I couldn't even get in the fucking building, all right? You got Lady Gaga and you got this guy, the fucking prince and the princess on the Lower

East Side. Let's go over some of the credits here real quick. He's been on Gotham Comedy Live. He's an extremely funny stand-up comedian here in New York City, performs all over the country. This winner was doing a little tour with SNL's Pete Davidson, okay? He is on the Emmy Award-winning show, Rami, that an episode last season, the Golden Globe winning Rami, and he's going to be on the new series called Big Dogs, coming out very

soon. Gang, this kid's cool. He looks cool. He dresses cool. He acts cool. He's everything that I'm not. He's also got a super successful podcast called Oops the Podcast with another looker, Francis Ellis.

I don't know if you ever feasted your eyes on that tall drink of water, kippy. That kid's hot. Two good-looking guys. That's the deal. The real deal. Ladies and gentlemen, Julia Gallerotti, everybody. So happy to meet you, buddy. Thank you, man.

Yeah. That's the nicest intro I've ever gotten. I appreciate that. I mean every word, man. He's got the hots for you, dude. For sure he is. The hots for you. Every time a name comes up, he goes, that's a super-looking guy.

He's a cool guy. Oh, knows how to cuff his jeans perfectly, wears a nice pair of tennis shoes. Fucking kid is cool. And look at where you're coming at us from. You're in some log cabin somewhere. Look at all the people who work behind you. What is that? A fucking Monet behind you?

She's creepy. She's creepy. I mean, this isn't my place, but that fucking painting, I'm just terrified I'm gonna walk by her one night and she's gonna be smiling. Yeah, the eyes are gonna follow you down the hallway. But here's the thing. I said you were staying at a friend's place. Now, if I stayed at a friend's place, I'm in the garage.

You're on the fucking couch. You're in some cool... Nobody wants you on furniture, Foley. Your liability when it comes to a couch, you're a lazy boy. Just the fact that you have friends that have that kind of pad at an undisclosed location tells me, Kippy, I'm telling you, this kid's clean. He ain't trash. I don't know.

I don't know. He's a little rough around the edges, this one. He might have ran out on a cab driver or fucking ditched on a bill, maybe at fucking Oak One or whatever it's called, but other than that, I don't know. Dude, I first met, I first met Julio, actually, not too down here where I'm at. I'm in South Jersey right now. I met Julio. I had moved to New York and then a week later, two weeks later, I was down doing the South

Jersey or the Kate May Comedy Festival and by some fucking... Chris Braggen. ...some two-bit con man this guy was. Yeah. But it was, you know, at a convention center in a shore town, like in a beach town, and I guess Julio didn't get the memo or kind of just assumed one thing or the other. This fucking guy thought it was on the beach. He shows up to perform in this fucking banana hammock with his fucking thumb flip-flops on.

A bathing suit, dude. Fucking head-to-toe linen. I like it. Oh, dude. He was in a bathing suit. We're outside smoking. He was like, hey, you got a lighter or whatever. I'm like, yeah, man, here.

He's like, yeah, I'm looking at him. He's like, I thought this thing was on the fucking beach. I'm sitting there in like jeans and a, in like a bomber jacket or something. You got jeans and a blazer on like fucking Seinfeld in 94. These kids were in board shorts fucking rocking it out. Literally, dude, I was, I, I, it was one of the stupidest assumptions I've ever made. But I showed up, dude, literally this looks like a high school lunch room. I'm wearing, I'm wearing, there's like an American flag on the stage.

I was wearing fucking a little, it was like a European bathing suit. Yeah, it was your high above my knees. Your old cut bathing suit. Oh, man. I fucking, I'm looking like, looking like the burnout substitute teacher. That was quite a week and I shared a room with Billy Proceeded. You guys know him? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's like the self-proclaimed sex guru. Um, it was me, him, this other guy, and it was just a real, and he had some loyalty points in some casino. It was a weird weekend. Well, you got loyalty points in a casino. You're fucking garbage. I'm paying that right now. Dude, he, yeah, I was, and then we're, so me and Julie were outside smoking.

He's like, you know, where are you, where are you, where are you based out of? I'm like, I just moved to New York. He goes, oh, I'm from New York. So we started talking. I'm like, oh, yeah, I'm from Philly. He goes, oh, you know, like Ian and started like naming like Cassidy. And I don't know if he named you or whatever. I'm like, oh, yeah, I know those guys and I see him in New York.

He's, I'm like, oh, there's that fucking lunatic. It was, it was the bathing suit to the comedy show. Still wearing the bathing suit. The guy, you're an awesome dude. I would just, I literally, I've first met you. I was like, this guy is fucking nuts. When was that? 2013?

Dude, that was probably, you know, 14, I think, 2014, I think. Thing was, yeah. I tell you, we've all come, we've all come a long way. We were all doing pretty good till this fucking Corona took the fucking legs out from under us. Crazy. You guys still doing your, are you doing your podcast via FaceTime or like Zoom or Skype or whatever? We actually just recorded hours, like half an hour before this. We have been doing it on Zoom.

It's been an adjustment, but you know, it's nice to still be able to do it. Yeah. I'm not as bummed out about not being able to do comedy just because no one else could do it. That dude, that's my big thing too. I'm like, as long as everybody else is staying still, I don't feel like I'm losing. Like if you break your leg and you can't do it for two months and everyone else is doing it and getting better and you're just sitting there on your ass, you know. Yeah. Dude, I was thinking the same thing.

I'm like, I kind of, I'm liking it. Dude, I get up, I take my beach cruiser, I go on bike rides every morning. I'm fucking, I'm loving life down here. It's great. Well, when this all happened, I was ready to fucking pack it in. I thought we were going to be fucking on Easy Street and then Kippy's like, Hey, we're doing a hard feelings podcast every day. And we're bumping up, are you garbage to fucking two days a week? This is the most I've worked in fucking five years.

I'm exhausted right now. I'm going to need a Corona for my Corona. Dude, he was late. He was, he was 15 minutes late for the podcast the other day. Well, while me and the guests were sitting in here looking like fucking assholes and I'm like, what, what could you have possibly been doing? Yeah, just spins around in his chair towards the computer. Sorry, buddy. Hello, gentlemen.

I had anelios in the oven. I didn't want to fucking burn it. All right, let's get into it. Let's get in a little background here, Julia. I know, I know, I think that's somewhat about you. I know you, uh, you played tennis in college, which is pretty fucking classy. Did you grow up down here? Did you grow up in Boston?

Cause I know you went to Boston University. I grew up primarily in Connecticut. This kid's. Pointy-torty. I thought you were a Long Island kid. This kid's clean. Connecticut, it was a small town in Connecticut, not like the town, not, it wasn't a commuter town. Like it's far enough away that like people, like there were people who were from the

city originally, like my parents who like, who demigrated here from Italy and they grew up in the city in Brooklyn, the Bronx respectively. And then we moved there. But the people from the town weren't coming to the city unless they had relatives there. You know, it was too far away. It was like two, two and a half hours away. Wait, your parents are both, are they both off the boat? Were they born in Italy?

Both of them? Yep. Do you speak Italian? Not too well, but like, I don't know. I used to be better at it. I'm not really that good. And they don't really speak to each other. They spoke different dialects in their households.

So like their natural kind of way of speaking the language. I mean, they both speak Italian, regular Italian also, but they just never spoken to each other. They just spoke English to each other. Jesus. Wow. Speaks Italian, kid. That's fucking hot.

I like it. That's old school shit. I like it. What is your, what is your, I don't know. I don't like Mateo. Mateo Lane speaks Italian and he'll speak Italian to me. And I typically understand what he's saying. And I'll like respond in English.

Like I don't speak. Yeah. That's such a cool thing though, man, to be able to fucking talk to somebody in other language in front of other people. That's like from that scene in The Godfather when, uh, when, uh, what's his name is like, I'm going to talk to Mike in Italian, but he says to the copper before he kills them. I fucking love that man.

And what, what, what did your mom and dad do when you were growing up? What was it? What was there where my dad, my dad is a professor. We can end this right now. This kid's fucking clenched. He took a left turn in college or something. I shared a couple of things outside with this guy. He's a little rough around the edges.

I, when I, when I was doing, when I was doing Trump work at a pot, I saw that 2006, 2002, 2006, 2007, uh, tennis record for singles. Five and 11. Dude, I think I played 2017, 2006, 2007, right? I believe I was not, I think I played number one singles that year. So I was like, it was tough, man. I'm here, but like, you know, I wasn't really a high quality number one singles player in the sense that like five and 11 is tough.

You know, I was playing some pretty fucking good players. I think that, you know, I maybe would have had more success a little further down the ladder. Well, tennis is one of those sports that like even like the worst tennis player in the world is fucking unbelievable. Oh, like in pro tennis. Yeah. It's fucking, it's the job is so crazy.

Yeah. It's like, yeah, I, I, I, I can, I go to the driving range, but it's like also the guy who's like 4,000th in the world is like close to a scratch golfer, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. And I always stoked this fire. You know, I do who's better. You were Michael Costa.

Well, right now I'll tell you this. I have a winning record against him and he fucking hates it. But just say, I don't think he actually does hate it because, you know, we played sets against each other. I won the first time we played. He won the second time we played. I won the third time we played. And then the last time we played, he was winning and we ran out of time.

But he's winning. He would have probably won that set. But winning sets, this is the thing, dude, winning sets doesn't mean anything. Like if you're both at like a high enough level, like you're going to split sets with people. And in my opinion, I would say he's still better player than me, but I can like, I can grind him down and like win a set here and there. And like, I can, I can beat him.

I can beat him, but it doesn't mean I'm better than him. Dude, I love it. I've been trying to set up a fucking match with them to where we all go and watch. So why would they want that? So you're sitting there eating a fucking corn dog, right? He's like, you know, almost world class. You can sit down and pick your belly button. Well, these two rounds around in short shorts.

This is the other thing about Costa, though, like we, the last time we played was on clay, which is like a surface. It's a surface that suits me much better than it suits his style. Well, okay. So the first time we played, it was outdoors on hardcore. I won. I wasn't really good shape at the time. He really wasn't the next time we played.

He was in a little better shape. I was in a little worse shape. He won pretty, pretty convincingly. And then on clay, the ball, the game style is much slower. So Costa is like, he has like a powerful game. Like he plays an offensive game. He's a big serve. He can take the ball early and kind of dictate the point on clay.

I can run those balls down and make him hit two or three extra balls. He's older than me too, dude. You know what I mean? Like Pete Costa versus Pete Julio, he's a better player. He played for a better program. He played at a higher level. I think he like played, he played some futures tournaments like in singles, which I never did.

Um, like he's, he, his, his resume, he's better than me. But today, if we play a set, can I win a set? Sure. But that doesn't mean that I'm better than him. Yeah. Gotcha. How'd you get into it? How did your parents play?

Or you just like, my dad, he's got cash. What are you talking about? You can talk about great courts over here. Dude. So listen, so my dad, uh, my dad grew up in the Bronx on Arthur Avenue, which is sweet. Do you go back? Oh yeah.

He goes all the time. I go sometimes, I haven't been in a minute, but he, he teaches at Columbia now. So he, he, he teaches at a university in Connecticut. Well, he teaches a class at Columbia. So every week before this happened, he'd be in the city on Thursday teaching in Columbia, and then he would go to Arthur Avenue after to like revisit his old stomping grounds. So he grew up there.

Somehow, I don't know how this happened. He started playing tennis, taught himself how to play tennis and then playing a little bit, he went to Hunter college, uh, for undergrad, played a little bit there and then would teach tennis to make some money. So at some point, and I knew this about him, you know what I mean? So I went to a pretty athletic, uh, school. So there was a kid who was really good at each sport. Like there was a kid who was the best basketball player, the best baseball

player, et cetera. I wanted my sport. I was pretty good at all these, but I wasn't the best. And I was like, maybe I should try to learn how to play tennis. So I asked my dad to teach me when I was like 12, just kind of late to learn. Yeah. Yeah. And then he's like, all right.

So then we see, he wasn't like an annoying tennis parent. Um, wasn't like overbearing where you were like uphitting fucking balls against the garage doors. No, no, he was, they were very much like they, they didn't even want me to be an out like the idea of me being an athlete. My dad was like, you don't want to be like, not that I could have been anyway, but like, I think they valued more the idea of getting an education over the idea of like playing tennis more.

Like they want me to be well, well, well rounded. Yeah. I love it. This kid's classy. He's classy, man. I love it. Uh, let's get into a few questions here. Kippy, what do you think?

Sounds good, buddy. What do you got? Find out if this kid's garbage or not. Um, I think, I think he grew up. He grew up nice family, you know, hardworking, learning people, right? Tennis players fucking, you know, Columbia professors. And then I think, you know, he got his hands on a little bit of reefer or you know what I mean?

He's drinking Pellegrino out of a glass bottle. What are you talking about? This kid can buy and sells both. He got his hands on some pharmaceuticals. Maybe a little and he started hanging out with the wrong crowd. If you ask me, well, Julia, did you, did you, well, you guys, members of a, uh, of a country club growing up? No.

No. Okay. All right. No clubs, no clubs, no any clubs, no beach club, no nothing. What was the, this, we always ask this one. It's just a standard question. What was the grocery store you went to growing up as a kid? Stop and shop.

That's classy. Is it stopping shops? All right. Okay. Stop and shop, stop and shop part of the, I think it's part of like the shop right of the acne family. That's good. That's good eating right there.

That's nice. It's like 65th percentile. Not showing off. That's falling behind. The meaty part of the curve, baby. I love it. Well, what year? Just so I know, how old, like, how old are you?

I think you're my age, right? You're like 32, 33. 1986. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So you graduated in what?

Oh, five. You graduated high school in what? 2005? 2004. Oh, buddy. I got that. All right. Cool.

I was, all right. So Mike, my first question is, did you ever want to put rims on your car in high school? No, you never wanted to do it. All I wanted was a fucking Honda Civic with a set of rims. You mean like, like, like wheels, like 20 twos? Oh, yes. Spinners, dude.

That's what's free. The spinning rims, any, anything with 50 set and a set of spinning rims. Sign me up. What kind of car did you drive in high school, Julio? I drive a purple Volvo. See, that's only only fucking cool kids can get away with that. Dude, it was nice to get made fun of. It must have been it must have been cheaper because it was purple.

That must be why my dad bought it, of course. Was it a was it a wagon or was it a was it a regular? OK, so it was it was when they still were the traditional model, but it was not a wagon. It was like it was the one that was kind of like this. The boxy Jetta. Yeah, those things are dope, man. They were sweet.

Dude, it was a turbo, too. It would fucking whip. Yeah. Those things fucking flew around. All right. I got a couple of things here. Have you ever owned any of the following to something? I asked somebody else, but I didn't really go anywhere in Kippy.

This might be an age thing. I don't know. But have you ever owned Chinese stars? Never. Never. Numchucks. Never. Swords of any kind. Yeah, like like like a play sword as a child. Yeah, I'm not talking about a lightsaber.

I'm talking about steel here, kid. OK, what about this? I got a I bought a souvenir blade in Jordan, like a little and I brought it on the fucking plane with me. And they like it. Yeah. When was this 2011? What post 9 11?

But like very like right after 9 11. Were you flying first class on that trip? No. Hmm. Holy shit. Fully said that you did the Chinese stars in these martial arts. That's like that's when karate became cool in the 80s. That was for you.

Oh, right. To Chinese, if you were a Chinese star was like pulling out plutonium. If somebody pulled out a Chinese star had a fucking sleepover, it was like having a girl's panties. Everyone was like, whoa. Dude, recreational karate did not age well. That's what I'm saying. Not at all.

That was cool for like three years, probably from like 84 to 87. After that, we were like, what the fuck? If you get karate when we were growing up, you were a fucking clown. Karate karate's the only thing that if like somebody said like, oh, I knew. I know Jiu Jitsu or fucking Taekwondo. I'd be a little taken aback. But I would fight anybody that says they know karate. That's like saying in a fucking ballet dance.

I don't give a fuck. Totally fucking your Tiger showman fucking karate chop bullshit. All right. What about this? Do you like the band Green Day? No. All right. That's pretty good.

I see that coming. Do you ski or do you sled? Sled. I don't know how to ski. Wow. Foley, I think you got this kid pegged all wrong. I'm over him. I'll pay that right now.

Get me Francis Ellis on the phone. I'm just a little class. Yeah, I'm the best you can get. I like how in Foley's world, too, you can either be a skier or a sledder. Like that's the only two options. Oh, you have no idea. My imagination of Julio's life is it's like it's like.

I don't snowboard either. By the way, really? I would have pegged you for a snowboarder. Hockey Sacker. You ever Hockey Sack? Yeah, high school. Hockey Sack was big. When we were in high school, junior high, high school,

Hockey Sack was big. What the fuck was that, man? And we look so stupid doing that shit. It was stupid. It was fun, though. Have you ever worn an Echo T-shirt? No. Wow, really?

What about an Ed Hardy T-shirt? Yes. Busted cold. College went through a phase. Really? Were you in a fraternity in college? No, tennis team didn't have time. I wouldn't have joined one anyway, but.

Ed Hardy, that was big. The graphic tees were big when we were in college. Everybody was trying to. Affliction. Affliction. Like, Express all had like a line of graphic. Everything was like the diamond or floral with like some sort of. Where'd you go?

I went to a temple. OK. Polly, what about you? I went to a division three school called Weidner University. Wagner? Everybody fucking says that. Sorry, dude. Weidner?

It was an online program, Julio. Sorry, dude. It doesn't matter if he didn't graduate. He went for like two weeks and failed out. It was called Weidner University. There's actually a Weidner library at Harvard, very prestigious school. And they were a big, a big division three football powerhouse. I went there to play football in the cross.

Gotcha. Gotcha. Cool. And then, yeah, flunked out after my sophomore year. Hate to see it. Yeah, what are you going to do? It's all right. All right, I got one.

How old were you when you got your first tattoo? 20. But that's cool now, kid. I know. That's what I'm saying. That's not garbage. I thought I went T for bad. That's responsible tattooing procedure right there's the garbage.

Here's the garbage question. Who did it for you? Some guy in St. Mark's. OK, so it was done in a tattoo place. It wasn't one of your friends. But I did just see I did just see a video of you and Pete Davidson talking about you give each other tattoos. Oh, yeah, he tattooed.

Ah, fuck on me. Did it? Where is it? That's shiny. It just says, oh, fuck. Oh, my god. That's pretty fucking trashy. Yeah, would you ever let anybody give you a tattoo that

wasn't a licensed tattoo guy? No way. Well, tattoo guys even have to have licenses? What's going on? I don't know. Pete has a tattoo guy, though. So he provided all of the equipment and he oversaw the operation. Therefore, I was my mind was at ease of a worst case scenario.

That's not like that's like that's like going to the dentist to get a root canal and your buddy's like, hey, can I try it? And they're like, yeah, go ahead. Take a whack at it. Yeah, that's great, dude. Have you ever won sunglasses on the top of your hat? No. Good, good, good.

Ever attended any NASCAR events? Never. I've been the one. Have you ever gotten a haircut from your mother? My aunt, your aunt. Be a hairdresser or she was just cutting hair that day and you got clipped up? She's good at, she was good at cutting hair.

Yeah. So have you ever, have you ever cut your mother's hair? No, she's Christ. Holy, how did you grow up? Little hair, little house in the prairie bullshit is that. We used to give each other haircuts, man. Yeah, ma, sit down and shut up. Oh, you're not going to get your lollipop.

Ma, let me do this perm real quick. I had a perm when I was a kid, too. How trashy is that? That's crazy, dude. I was like a 10-year-old little fat kid and I played soccer. I would have never pegged you as a fat kid, honestly. Believe it or not, I like the snacks. I like the snacks.

But all my older cousins all had curly hair. So my mom gave me a perm and it came out all fucked up. And I had to do a whole year with my hair fucking. I looked like Lionel Richie. It was fucking terrible. Oh, god. I just picture you and a bunch of other old ladies sitting in a row with the hairdresser,

with the bubble on your head, returning, reading the magazine. So what's your son doing now? Foley, I just picture you in high school dying in the plot of Stranger Things. You don't think I would have made it? I think you would have died early on. Man, not even a good saving everybody.

What's his name, dude? The chubby guy? Well, dude, it's because you're so lovable that it would really pay in the audience to see you go. It would be an important moment. You would be at the pool party out back at night trying to impress some girls with your fucking ninja stars. What school do you chicks go to?

What's up, I'm Hank. They call me the tank. What the? Ah! One of them would get stuck in the bush and you'd have to go looking for it. Next thing you know, fucking, you know. All they find is a solo.

They find a solo cup in my sunglasses. Yeah, dude, you would go quick for sure. Let's talk about that. I do think that's how your childhood was. I think your childhood was very Stranger Things. But I think of you growing up in the 80s. It was definitely that. A lot of cut-off sweatshirts and stuff,

or like the goonies, very goonies. You know what I'm kind of hoping comes back and I know it won't. You know, it was big in the 80s when I was a kid wearing shorts over sweatpants. What? What's the, I don't know. I know the look you're talking about.

They had to be these certain shorts that they were like a solid color, but then they had like a white trim around them. I don't know. You would wear them over a pair of sweatpants. Exactly what you mean. You were cotton also, right? Yeah, they were nice.

They were cotton. I like a nice old-school cotton sweatpants. Same. What about, let's talk about the grub situation growing up. Did you're a hamburger helper? No, never. My parents made every meal from scratch. Really?

Yeah, old-school Italian, off the boat. What are you talking about? They don't even, honestly, they don't even know, they don't even know how to like, did not do it that way. Honestly, I took it for granted because, you know, I almost got to the point where I didn't appreciate, I wanted other things. Yeah, you wanted like, give me the rice errone or something.

I wanted Chef Boyardee. I wanted all that stuff. That's my next question. You wrote Chef Boyardee. Yeah, but like, no. Yeah, not. We've had it on Thanksgiving. I'm not surprised.

All right, I got one. How old were you when you smoked your first cig? As an athlete, it might have been later. It was like 19, 19 or 20. Kids a late bloomer and some things. I kind of pegged you as like the rough and tumble teenager, you know, like waiting out front, asking to buy, asking to buy older kids, you know, cigarettes.

So I did, I did that with beer. We would buy, we would get some guy to buy us a beer. Would you just go to like, hang out at like a shady liquor store or beer distributor and be like, hey, can you get me a case? Yeah, and you know, it's funny, adults would do it and I look back on them. I'm like, what the fuck is wrong with those people?

Dude, I was having, that was going to be my fault. Would you have ever have done that? I would have never have done that for random kids. Dude, if, if, if I were to, and depending on how big these kids are, but if I were to be walking into a store, a liquor store, and there were kids out there being like, hey, can you buy me beer?

I would be like, when I get back out here, if you guys are still here, I'm going to kick all your asses. Really? Yeah, dude, it's a fuck out of here. I'm not buying you shit, you little shit. I feel like, I'd be worried now that the kids are trying to set you up.

Back in the day, it was one thing. They played it fast and loose. But now some kid has a fucking white claw. He does something stupid. Next thing, you know, I'm facing a fucking grand jury. That ain't right. Right?

Dude, we used, we started smoking cigs probably like, I don't know, 14, 15, you know, I don't know, teens. Like junior high and shit like that, seventh, eighth grade, whatever. And we would hang out at the shopping center. And cause like it was the suburbs. So like we'd all like meet at the shopping center, like our skateboards and bikes or whatever.

And we'd just sit out front and we'd see a guy like pull up who had like his music playing loud, you know what I mean? So I'm like, Oh yeah. And we'd sit out front with a, cigs were only like 225 a pack at the time. So we'd give the guy a five and we'd be like, yo, get us a pack.

You can buy yourself a pack. It was me. It was me. Crazy. But I mean, every day you would get cigs. Like people would just buy you cigs. Do you still smoke? No, I quit for like five years.

And then I was in Europe at a bad wedding. And it's so romantic over there. They smoking cigs over there is just so, everybody's doing it. It does. Yeah. And then I was at a wedding with not a lot of people I knew and the two people I knew kept going outside to smoke cigs.

So I'm like, let me fucking get one. So I've been having them periodically. Yeah. I'm off. Are you, do you still smoke or no? No, I quit too. Like probably two years ago, three years ago. Yeah.

That's good. That's good. I'm down to about two a day. It's good. Financial reasons, but still. I'm boozing. I'm boozing like a champ during this quarantine. Yeah, you're drinking a lot to get through, Julio.

No, I'm not boozing. So I wasn't boozing at all because I was supposed to be shooting this fucking Netflix thing in the end of April. Oh, fuck, that's right. But now I got, I'm so sorry. No, it's okay. Thank you. I appreciate it.

So I got postponed. Okay, cool. But you know, we don't have a new date yet. I mean, hopefully it still happens, whatever. We'll see. But so my, my incentive was like, I'm going to try to like. Tighten it up. Look good.

Tighten it up. Whatever. But now that that's no longer happening, I was like, well, so I was out here, I hadn't drank and it's been a couple months since I've drank at all. So I had two drinks. It was completely fine. So I feel how I'm probably going to maybe try to drink

once a week during this. That's pretty good. Yeah. You know what I was thinking? And I might have mentioned this to you, KB, before, not that I partake anymore or haven't in a few years, but just the thought, you know how many mountains of cocaine there probably are sitting around in apartments in New York

city right now, because nobody can fucking, nobody's out drinking. There's got to be a, there's going to be a stockpile of drugs once this thing's over. Oh right. Yeah. The drug, the drug runners are getting killed by this. Yeah.

Someone got to like, you know, it's like, I'm going to make a big play. And then now they're sitting on like fucking a ton of Coke and they, you know, like no bars are open. Nobody's making the call at fucking midnight. You call your guy. No, you call your guy. Fucking none of that shit's going on right now too.

Yeah. Crazy. There might be some good deals when this thing's all over. Am I right? We'll do for one action. Might have to get back in the game. All right. Have you ever had the product goger?

Yes. Ah, that's tough. What was your typical school lunch as a kid? Okay. It's a good question. My parents. Rick and Tony. I love vodka.

My parents, I would show up with like the big, the big pot. Oh, Jordy. Everyone's got grilled cheese, I was eating eggplant rolling team. Yeah, literally. Like, all right. So my parents would overfeed me a little bit. Like I would, they would make me breakfast sometimes.

And I would like a breakfast, they would make me two. I would eat two egg sandwiches for breakfast. Gee, I bet your mom makes a nice egg sandwich. Yeah. Yeah. My dad too. So there was one egg on each. It wasn't anything over too much, too crazy. And then they would make me two sandwiches as well for lunch.

Whoa. And just to mix it up a lot of time, I would sell one of them. Oh, what the fuck, man? And buy hot lunch. And I would have one sandwich and then I would buy hot lunch with the money. Oh, selling sandwiches.

You're killing me over here. I got money riding on this. Yeah, two, three bucks. Well, like, that could be trash or that could be very, you know, business smart. You know what I mean? That could be very good business sense. Like, hey, I'm gonna get there,

I'm gonna flip that and get the hot French fries. You could have learned from his dad, you know? I always had the best lunch. Really? Yeah. That's good. What about, have you ever been a member or been involved in a softball team?

No. Good. Okay. Yeah, those softball teams can be a bit fucking hammerhead-y. Did your family ever have bagged ice in the house when it wasn't somebody's graduation? I don't even know what that is. Bagged ice?

Like when you get a bag of ice from 7-Eleven? Oh, bagged ice. No. Like, have you ever gone over someone's house, open up the freezer and there's a bag of Igloo ice in there and you gotta like fucking try to smash it up? Yeah. Dude, that's garbage, man.

That's fucking trash. You got the bag, you're smashing it on the floor, trying to have a fucking ice-cold soda, you know? Because if that shit sits for more than a weekend, it's just one big fucking piece of ice and you got some much drossity in your fucking life. Disgusting, yeah. None of that.

Two questions. Give me what you got. Yeah, this is, as a kid or whatever at any point, have you ever ran out on a check at a bar or restaurant and also have you ever specifically not tip somebody on purpose? Ooh. Never.

What? Never to either. Wow. Did you work when you were a kid? Did you have jobs? I had a job every Sunday afternoon. I would, actually no, I had two jobs. I worked, there was like a basketball thing,

like recreational basketball where you could just show up and shoot around. I would just be the attendant. Okay. So people would sign in at like the Civic Center or something? No, no, no, no. It's like the high school gym. Okay.

So people would come and play from seven to nine on a Wednesday, say, shoot around. I was the guy, you signed it with me or whatever, made minimum wage. I would do that once a week. And then I also had a job Sunday afternoons. I just sat at the desk of a tennis club from like two to six. Okay, that's respectable.

But the dude handling the fucking basketballs and pinnies and stuff like that, that's the guy you get fucking beer from. Yeah, that wasn't me. That wasn't me. Dude, one time we went to an IHOP as kids and we, you know, whatever, we were like fucking high teenagers.

And I don't know what happened. We didn't have, we like had barely just enough money to cover the bill, no real cash per tip. And we were like father like, and we left like hand change, whatever we have. We were like, dude, it sits with me every day. And we left, we kind of like scurried out, like, and the waitress came out, you know,

and IHOP waitress and, you know, outside of Philadelphia. Good for her. She came out the fucking... Dude, she took the handful of change and threw it at us. Yes! And I was getting in her car and I, dude, that sits, I think about that three times a week of how big of a piece of trash we were as a fucking kid.

You know, I mean, we didn't know any better. We were fucking garbage, you know? You're a piece of shit. I know. That's happened to me with, when I was waiting tables, that happened to me with adults they'd leave change. I didn't want to fucking knock somebody out. Terrible.

Fucked out. Let's fuck that up. All right, kind of a sad note when we got here. Yeah. Thanks for that screech and hold, kiddie. Well, I said, yeah, well, I mean, you started out, yeah, I saw you going down a dog's place. I started smoking.

All right. Have you ever attended a fourth of July party or a party in the summer at someone's backyard and they didn't have a pool? Yes. Just hanging out in the backyard. Yeah, that's a tough law. Yeah, that's a tough law.

That's a very ambitious thing to be like, hey, everybody come over and just sit in a chair in my backyard. Yeah, that's no good, man. Now you gotta have a fucking slip and slide, something, a sprinkler for the kids. I've been to a lot of those. Really?

Wow, did you have a pool growing up? Nope. No, that's a shame. Fully has, I had an in-ground pool. Fully had a half in-ground, half out-ground. It was, they dug it like two feet. If the dude, that is what you guys like, run out of money while you were digging the holes.

What the fuck? Dad, you always say this, Julia, we have an in-ground to above-ground pool, that's what it's called. All right, we dug the pool in like two feet and then they built a deck around the entire, around the entire, it's actually cooler in the summer when you get to an above-ground pool.

Cools you off a little bit more. Yeah, stop trying to church it up, that's fucking cool. Anybody buying this? No, no one's buying it. When was the last time you stole something? Jesus. I'm not like, not, like, you know, it could have been as a kid, like, yeah.

Not that, like, not that long ago. Yeah, some people do that. Some people just steal shit from time to time. It sounded like it was, it was like something like, I didn't feel like waiting in the line or something, like at the airport or something. Yeah, a lot of people steal from the airport because it's kind of like, fuck you, it's so expensive.

I know, but I can't believe you guys do that. Would you ever want to get fucking busted at the airport for stealing the Snickers and like miss your flight and be in airport security or something? You know, knock on wood, I like to think I'd be able to talk my way out of it. I just don't speak in Italian.

I would just pay for it. Yeah, that's true. But if you get, if you get caught, like say you're stealing from like a 7-Eleven, can you end up in like fucking Rikers for the weekend? Or is that a misdemeanor? Or like, will they lock you up? I think they'll lock you up.

I have no idea. I have no idea. I would never try at a 7-Eleven. If you were stealing something like, just fucking you would bolt, you know, would you just sit around and wait for the cops? Couldn't take them at least three minutes to get there. You throw a slurpee in the guy's face

and you fucking hook it up the door. Yeah, it's all right, stick and move. All right, I think I got one more here. Foley, what do you got? What are your thoughts on the rotisserie chicken? I think it's a good, you know, high protein meal when you got no other option. I think he just called us garbage.

Yeah, yeah. I think they should go easy on the seasoning on those fucking things. For Christ's sake. They get a little crazy, yeah. Oh, I love them. Ooh, man, you give me a nice roto. Dude, if you're eating more than one rotisserie chicken

a month, you gotta make some fucking life changes, dude. That's like if you're in the grocery store, you catch the smell and you're like, yeah, I'm in a jam. You shouldn't be buying a fucking rotisserie chicken a week, Foley. All right, I love them. It's remarkable how affordable they are. Like a life for $4, a life.

Dude, it's crazy. A life, a chicken's life, not even its life. They don't even hand you like a dead, just a dead chicken. It's been feathered, it's been cooked, it's been packaged, it's been heated, it's crazy. Yeah. I got one more tippy than you could wrap it up. This is a big one for me.

Have you ever stayed on the first floor at a hotel, the first floor? Yeah. Oh, like not like literally the ground floor? Yes, I have, I have. I don't think I even know that was an option. I've never been offered the first floor. Like a motel situation.

Yeah, motel, I guess, do you know what's really tough is when you're staying at a place that like opens right up to the fucking parking lot? Oh, I'm done. That's serial killer USA right there. Yeah, you can't get a good night's sleep, man. You're fucking peeking at the blinds, like you're waiting for the connection you still want.

Yeah, that's tough. Bates motel. All right, I got one more than we can wrap it up. Have you ever smoked weed with a friend's parents? Ooh, that's a good one. And that's garbage. Because I remember growing up, there was this house you could go to and smoke weed.

And I didn't really smoke that much weed, but everybody did. As a kid or as an adult? As a kid, as an adult, anything, really. I mean, there's always, it gets blurry anytime you're fucking splitting a blunt with a grandfather or something. Yeah, when you get older at a wedding and stuff like that

and everybody's grown up and there's like an uncle or something out there, that's fine. But I see what you're saying. High school parents out smoking weed with the parent. Okay, so I would argue that like the situations I've done as an adult have been with like adults who have done really well for themselves type of thing. That's why I see people doing that more and more.

So that's not a big deal, I don't think. And also like my girlfriend's mom used to get me high and make fun of me, like my ex-girlfriend. Wow, really? She would like show me YouTube videos I didn't care about, like she would show me like Audrey Hepburn videos and then she'd be like, you're really high, Julia. I'm like, yeah, you got me really high.

Yeah, you got me high, lady. How old were you? I was like 26. Oh, wow, that's kind of weird. In high school, I never did though. I never did with a friend's parents. She, her mom's hot too, to be honest. Dude, I remember the one time I was at this house

and I didn't smoke weed. So I was like, I had like beer in my car. So I just went out and got like, you know, a beer and I opened it up and like, we were sitting around and the mom's like, what are you doing? I'm like, I'm just having a beer. She's like, you're not 21 as she was like ripping a three-foot bomb.

I'm like, lady, your priorities are a little fucked up. They're taking your kids out the front. Yeah, this is a funny, we're one step away from a crack house. I was like 15 guys sleeping in the house. Yeah. Yeah, like utensils for smoking pot are such a like suburban and like rural thing.

Yeah. We had all sorts of plastic bongs and bullshit. Oh dude, that was huge. You would like make them out of something and somebody like, you can do this and we were just fucking everything. The two liter, like the top of the big gravity bong. Gravity bong?

Man, that's a two liter. I've done a couple of gravity bongs that have fucked people up and they've done fucking a weird shit on it. Yeah, dude. It's just funny to look back at it. Now as an adult, I saw some kids doing that. I would just think they're fucking losers.

I thought it was so cool and it's funny. I remember this one moment. My uncle, my cousin and his friend were like smoking pot or something and they're sitting on the porch and my uncle comes home and he just kind of stares at the front at my cousin's friend for a couple of seconds

and then goes, who's this piece of shit? That's great, dude. That's classic. What a judge of character. Who the fuck is right away this piece of shit? Not even like, what's this guy's deal? He's great. From piece of shit.

Oh, you gotta love it. He sent that to a kid? To the kid's face. That's amazing. Oh, that's fucking perfect. Holy shit. That's too good. I gotta say, Julio, you passed the test, baby.

You're not trash. You're clean as a whistle, man. I thought you were gonna be way. I figured you grew up pretty good, but then I figured in high school, you got mixed in with the wrong crowd, but this kid's fucking straight lays through and through. I love it.

I thought it was gonna be country clubs and fucking elk dinners and this and that. I was gonna ask you if you ever bang the chicken to Pro Shop at your country club. That's where I was going. Never, never. That's great, man. Do you have any, thank you, buddy.

Do you have anything? I mean, I know we're not doing sponsoring right now, but do you have anything you wanna plug or let everybody know about? Yeah, I mean, it was the podcast and the Netflix is a joke festival gets brought back at some point. Are we doing that?

And yeah, that's pretty much it. And buddy, congratulations on the podcast, man. It's fucking, it's awesome. And you guys are doing really, really well with it. Congratulations. Likewise. And we appreciate you coming on here and slumming it with me and Kippy.

Ah, it was my pleasure. Oh, you're the best. Okay, I appreciate it, buddy. Kippy, what do you got? Just check us out on YouTube. You know, we're obviously everywhere. Rate, subscribe, share with a friend. You know, if you wanna put it in your Instagram stories,

we'll repost it, all that good shit. But yeah, guys, thanks for pushing. Thanks for sharing. We appreciate it. Awesome, Julia, we'll have this up, I think. When's it go up? Thursday? It'll go up Monday.

It'll go up Monday. We'll send you everything, all that stuff. We appreciate it, man. Thank you so much, buddy. Thank you, boys. Be good. Thanks, buddy. Be safe out there, okay?

You too. See you, Kip. Later, buddy.